Penn Lines January 2014

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Navy commissions ship in honor of Flight 93, local community From dried to delicious Facts about space heaters What does the fox say? PLUS JANUARY 2014 Spirit of Somerset

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Penn Lines January 2014

Transcript of Penn Lines January 2014

Page 1: Penn Lines January 2014

Navy commissionsship in honor ofFlight 93, local community

From dried to deliciousFacts about space heatersWhat does the fox say?

PLUS

JA N UA R Y 2 0 1 4

Spirit ofSomerset

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J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 3

Visit with us at Penn LinesOnline, located at:www.prea.com/Content/pennlines.asp. Penn Lines Onlineprovides an email link to PennLines editorial staff, informationon advertising rates, and anarchive of past issues.

Vol. 49 • No. 1Peter A. Fitzgerald

EDI T O R

Katherine HacklemanSEN I OR EDIT O R/ W RI T ER

James DulleyJanette Hess

Barbara MartinMarcus Schneck

C ON T R IBU T IN G C O LU M N IS TS

W. Douglas ShirkL A YO U T & DESI GN

Vonnie KlossA DVER T ISI N G & CI RC U LA T I O N

Michelle M. SmithM EDI A & M A RK ET IN G SP ECI A LI ST

Penn Lines (USPS 929-700), the newsmagazineof Pennsylvania’s electric cooperatives, is pub-lished monthly by the Pennsylvania Rural Elec-tric Association, 212 Locust Street, P.O. Box1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108-1266. Penn Lineshelps 165,800 households of co-op consumer-members understand issues that affect theelectric cooperative program, their local co-ops, and their quality of life. Electric co-opsare not-for-profit, consumer-owned, locallydirected, and taxpaying electric utilities. PennLines is not responsible for unsolicited manu-scripts. The opinions expressed in Penn Linesdo not necessarily reflect those of the editors,the Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, orlocal electric distribution cooperatives.

Subscriptions: Electric co-op members, $5.42per year through their local electric distribu-tion cooperative. Preferred Periodicals postagepaid at Harrisburg, PA 17107 and additional mail -ing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changeswith mailing label to Penn Lines, 212 LocustStreet, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108-1266.

Advertising: Display ad deadline is six weeksprior to month of issue. Ad rates upon request.Acceptance of advertising by Penn Lines doesnot imply endorsement of the product or serv-ices by the publisher or any electric cooper-ative. If you encounter a problem with anyproduct or service advertised in Penn Lines,please contact: Advertising, Penn Lines, P.O.Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Penn Linesreserves the right to refuse any advertising.

Board officers and staff, Pennsylvania RuralElectric Association: Chairman, Leroy Walls;Vice Chair man, Tim Burkett; Secretary, LannyRodgers; Treas urer, Rick Shope; President& CEO, Frank M. Betley

© 2014 Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association.All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or inpart without written permission is prohibited.

4 KEEP ING CURRENTNews items from across the Commonwealth

6 ENERGY MATTERS

Spotting energy myths, scams

8 FEATURE

Spirit of SomersetNavy commissions ship in honor of Flight 93,local community

16 T IME L I NESYour newsmagazine through the years

16A COOPERATIVE CONNECTIONInformation and advice from your localelectric cooperative

18 SMART C I RCU I TS

Hard facts about space heatersSpace heaters can help, but they’re not always the right choice

20 COUNTRY K I TCHEN

From dried to delicious

21 POWER PLANTS

Light it up

22 CLASS I F I EDS

24 OUTDOOR ADVENTURES

What does the fox say?

26 RURAL REFLECT IONS

Congratulations to our 2013 winners

29 PUNCH L INES

Thoughts from Earl Pitts–Uhmerikun!Guys like to brag about how far they can drive on empty

20

JANUARY

8

24

ON THE COVERThe commissioning of the USSSomerset, named in honor ofthe heroes of United AirlinesFlight 93 and the people ofSomerset County, Pa., is set for March 1, 2014, at Penn’sLanding in Philadelphia. U.S. Navy photo

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YES. Please reserve the “When Two Hearts Become Soul Mates” Topaz & Garnet Perseonalized Pendant for me as

described in this announcement, with the names indicated below.

Mrs. Mr. Ms. Name (Please Print Clearly)

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Plan to save historic railroadstation moves forward

Gettysburg Borough Council mem-bers have approved the sale of the his-toric Gettysburg Railroad Station to theGettysburg Foundation. The foundationplans to maintain the site on behalf ofthe Gettysburg National Military Parkuntil the U.S. Congress approves its addi-tion to the park. At that point, the foun-dation will donate the station to the park.

President Abraham Lincoln arrivedat the station on Nov. 18, 1863, for a one-night stay prior to the dedication of theSoldiers’ National Cemetery, where hedelivered what has become known as“The Gettysburg Address.” The stationalso was used as a hospital during theCivil War.

The Gettysburg Convention and Visi-tors Bureau currently uses the station asa visitor’s center, and that arrangementwill continue for now.

Funds for the foundation’s purchasecame from a grant from the RichardKing Mellon Foundation, as well asfinancial support from the TawaniFoundation and local resident WilliamE. Aldrich.

Lancaster County marks nationalmilestone

Lancaster County is the first countyin the nation to preserve 100,000 acresof farmland. The historic 100,000th acreis a part of Bruce and Patricia Lefever’s“Sego Sago” farm near Manheim. TheLefevers are the sixth generation of thefamily to live on the farm.

Noting Lancaster County’s role as theNo. 1 agriculture producer in Pennsylva-nia and No. 10 in the nation, LancasterCounty Commissioner Scott Martin sayspreserving the region’s agricultural her-itage is key to addressing land use in thecounty.

Preserved farmland cannot be devel-oped for commercial or residential use byits current — or future — owners.l

Youth Tour turns 50More than 4,000 high school students

from Pennsylvania and New Jersey haveparticipated in the Rural Electric YouthTour to Washington, D.C., since the pro-gram was instituted 50 years ago.

Then-Sen. Lyndon Baines Johnson iscredited with the inspiration that even-tually led to the program when headdressed the National Rural ElectricCooperative Association (NRECA)

Annual Meeting in Chicago in 1957. In his speech, the former U.S. president

suggested that the best way to show youngpeople how the government functions is tobring them to Washington to observe thegovernment process in person.

Later that year, several Texas cooper-atives sent students to Washington.Other states began to follow with theirown programs.

Then, in 1964, NRECA began to coor-dinate the program, which began with400 students from 12 states, includingPennsylvania. New Jersey joined a fewyears later.

The program has grown through theyears with the largest gathering in 2013,when 1,597 students and 298 chaperonesfrom 43 states participated in Youth

KEEPINGcurrent

Tour. Ninety-two of those students weresponsored through the PennsylvaniaRural Electric Association from Penn-sylvania and New Jersey.

Anita Leitzel, PREA/Allegheny mem-ber services & education coordinator,has been the statewide coordinator forthe Youth Tour for 30 years.

“Youth Tour benefits continue longafter the trip,” Leitzel says. “The stu-dents who participate in Youth Tour will

be our new gener-ation of leaders.Youth Tour isoften their firstintroduction topolitics, their firstvisit with electedofficials and con-gressional leaders.This makes a sig-nificant impact onall of these stu-dents and oftenbrings a lifelonginterest in govern-ment and publicservice. They alsolearn about elec-tric cooperatives

and the history behind working togetherto benefit the country’s rural residents.”

Youth Tour is a coordinated effortamong NRECA, PREA and the localcooperatives that select the studentswho will represent the cooperatives inWashington, D.C.

In observance of the 50th anniver-sary of the first Youth Tour, in 2014,Penn Lineswill occasionally publishmemories from former Youth Tour stu-dents. If you (or someone you know) is aformer participant in Youth Tour, pleasesend us your written memories of theevent.

Write Stephanie Okuniewski at PennLines, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA17108, or email [email protected].

YOUTH TOUR: Students from Pennsylvania and New Jersey show their statepride while in Washington, D.C.

Plan to save historic railroad station moves forward

Page 5: Penn Lines January 2014

©2014 BGE 01-14789-002-BIV14

www.bradfordexchange.com/147892

YES. Please reserve the “When Two Hearts Become Soul Mates” Topaz & Garnet Perseonalized Pendant for me as

described in this announcement, with the names indicated below.

Mrs. Mr. Ms. Name (Please Print Clearly)

Address

City State Zip

E-Mail (Optional)

01-14789-002-E66101

P.O. Box 806, Morton Grove, IL 60053-0806

RESERVATION APPLICATION SEND NO MONEY NOW

Shown actual size

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

We must receive your initial payment by 2/5/14 to guarantee Valentine’s Day delivery. Call 1-866-768-6517 or visit www.bradfordexchange.com/147892

*Plus $9.98 shipping and service. Sales subject to product availability and order acceptance.

LIMITED-TIME OFFERReservations will be accepted on a first-come, first-served basis.

Respond as soon as possible to reserve your pendant.

1������������������� ���� ��������������������

Genuine Topaz & Garnet

Personalized Pendant

Solid Sterling Silver

18K Gold Plating

Over 1 Carat ofGenuine Gemstones

W TH BS M

FREE

Personalization!

Back of pendant engraved with “Soul Mates”.

A Fine Jewelry Exclusive

from The Bradford Exchange

Celebrate your true love with the “Two Hearts

Become Soul Mates” Topaz & Garnet Personalized

Pendant. Hand-crafted in solid sterling silver

with accents of 18K gold plating, this pendant is

������������ ������À������ �������������-

tom is a genuine heart-shaped white topaz and a

��������������������������������é of white topaz

runs along one side of the pendant with your two

�� ��������������������������������À���������

�������������������������������������������

������������������

Complete with a velvet jewelry pouch, gift box and

����À�����������������������������������������

a superb value at $129, payable in 4 easy install-

������ !"�"#��$������������������%���������

120-day guarantee, you need send no money now;

&��� �������'����������������������(

Maximum of 10 characters per name

Name #1

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Page 6: Penn Lines January 2014

6 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

ENERGYmatters

profit research consortium made up ofelectric utilities, including electric cooper-atives, recently tested one of the mostpopular residential power factor correc-tion products and found that it generatedaverage power savings of just 0.23 percent— far from the 30 percent claimed by itsmanufacturer. At that rate, it would takea typical homeowner more than 70 yearsto recoup his or her investment.

In short, these devices are nothingmore than ordinary capacitors employedin electronic circuits to store energy ordifferentiate between high- and low-fre-quency signals. Companies selling theseproducts change names quickly andoften, and move from town to town.

There are several questions you shouldask a sales representative when readingan ad for the next magical cure-all:

Does the product violate the laws ofscience? For example, does it claim to becapable of “changing of the molecularstructure … to release never-beforetapped power?” If true, the inventionwould quickly be sold in every storeacross the nation, not marketed throughfliers or a poorly designed website.

Was the product tested by an inde-

A QUICK internet search reveals manyways to save energy around your home —and a lot of them are too good to be true.Scams generally center around misstate-ments of science or confusion over utilityprograms. That’s why it’s always a goodidea to call your electric cooperative toverify or ask questions about any energy-saving program you see advertised.

A popular scam involves a device thatpromises to save energy without requiringyou to make any changes in behavior, turnanything off or adjust the thermostat. Peo-ple who sell these “little boxes” often claimoutrageous energy savings — sometimesas much as 30 percent or more ― couchedaround legitimate utility terms like powerconditioning, capacitors and power factor.

The bogus marketing spiel usuallygoes something like this: The modelbeing sold will control alternating currentpower factor and reduce electric bills. Itwill condition your power and makeappliances last longer. It uses no powerand has no moving parts. It will makemotors in your home run better.

Accompanying materials often caution“your utility doesn’t want you to knowabout this device.” Actually, what yourcooperative doesn’t want is for you to betaken advantage of by these claims.

What’s the reality? While electriccooperatives use various components tocorrect power factor for commercial andindustrial consumers, power factor cor-rection is not a concern with homes.

Engineers at the University of Texas-Austin concluded that one of the unitscould produce no more than a 0.06 per-cent reduction in electric use in an aver-age house. The Electric Power ResearchInstitute, a Palo Alto, Calif.-based non-

B y B r i a n S l o b o d aC o o p e r a t i v e R e s e a r c h N e t w o r k

Spotting energymyths, scams

As the research and development arm of the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association, CRN pursues innovative solutions that hel

electric cooperatives deliver safe, reliable, and a�ordable power to their consumer-members.

pendent group? If the performance of theproduct was not tested and certified by alab or entity not connected to the companyselling it, be very skeptical. Don’t allow asalesman to verify claims. One populartrick is to hook up the little box to a motorand a power meter. When turned on, themeter records a drop in what appears tobe power consumption. This is a trick — itis not the same type of meter hanging onthe side of your home.

Is it too good to be true? If so, it proba-bly is. A video getting play on the internetshows a consumer reporter for a televisionstation testing one of these little boxes. Bylooking at electric bills before and afterinstallation, he concludes the device is agood buy. However, an excessively hot orunusually cool day can cause one month’selectric bill to run significantly higher orlower than the previous month. Wise con-sumers always ask to see electric use for thesame month from the previous year(s), notthe previous month, and factor in weatheranomalies for any savings claims.lBrian Sloboda is a program manager spe-

cializing in energy efficiency for the Coopera-tive Research Network, a service of theArlington, Va.-based National Rural ElectricCooperative Association. Additional researchprovided by ESource. The CooperativeResearch Network monitors, evaluates, andapplies technologies that help electric coopera-tives control costs, increase productivity, andenhance service to their consumers.

Page 7: Penn Lines January 2014

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Clogged, Backed—up Septic System…Can anything Restore It?DEAR DARRYL: My home is about 10 years old, and so is my septic system. I have always taken pride in keeping my home and property in top shape. In fact, my neighbors and I are always kidding each other about who keeps their home and yard nicest. Lately, however, I have had a horrible smell in my yard, and also in one of my bathrooms, coming from the shower drain. My grass is muddy and all the drains in my home are very slow. My wife is on my back to make the bathroom stop smelling and as you can imagine, my neighbors are having a field day, kidding me about the mud pit and sewage stench in my yard. It’s humiliating. I called a plumber buddy of mine, who recommended pumping (and maybe even replacing) my septic system. But at the potential cost of thousands of dollars, I hate to explore that option. I tried the store bought, so called, Septic treatments out there, and they did Nothing to clear up my problem. Is there anything on the market I can pour or flush into my system that will restore it to normal, and keep it maintained?

Clogged and Smelly – Erie, PA

DEAR CLOGGED AND SMELLY: As a reader of my column, I am sure you are aware that I have a great deal of experience in this particular field. You will be glad to know that there IS a septic solution that will solve your back-up and effectively restore your entire system from interior piping throughout the septic system and even unclog the drain field as well. SeptiCleanse® Shock and Maintenance Programs deliver your system the fast active bacteria and enzymes needed to liquefy solid waste and free the clogs causing your back-up.

This fast-acting bacteria multiplies within minutes of application and is specifically designed to withstand many of today’s anti-bacterial cleaners, soaps and detergents. It comes in dissolvable plastic packs, that you just flush down your toilets. It’s so cool. Plus, they actually Guarantee that it restores ANY system, no matter how bad the problem is.

SeptiCleanse® Shock and Maintenance Programs are designed to work on any septic system regardless of design or age. From modern day systems to sand mounds, and systems installed generations ago, I have personally seen SeptiCleanse unclog and restore these systems in a matter of weeks. I highly recommend that you try it before spending any money on repairs. SeptiCleanse products are available online at www.septicleanse.com or you can order or learn more by calling toll free at 1-888-899-8345. If you use the promo code “PASEP3”, you can get a free shock treatment, added to your order, which normally costs $169. So, make sure you use that code when you call or buy online.

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A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Page 8: Penn Lines January 2014

PENNlines

the USS Somerset crew in the ceremonythat officially marks the inclusion of theship into the nation’s naval force (ticketsare required).As the ship sails from Penn’s Land-

ing, it will carry with it numerous arti-facts from Somerset County — artifactsgathered with love and respect to honorthose who died there, and the commu-nity that rallied around the grievingfamilies. From the steel in the bow stem(the foremost part of the ship where itcuts through the water) and the woodfloor in the ship’s museum area to a spe-cial time capsule on board, parts ofSomerset County will remain with theship as long as it exists.Somerset County Commissioner

8 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

B y K a t h y H a c k l e m a nS e n i o r E d i t o r / Wr i t e r

THE INSTANTUnited Airlines Flight93 met its tragic end in a field in Somer-set County on Sept. 11, 2001, an endur-ing bond was forged. Now that relation-ship between the families who lost lovedones on the ill-fated flight and the resi-dents of Somerset County, who bandedtogether, determined to ease the fami-lies’ suffering as much as humanly pos-sible, has expanded to include the crewof the USS Somerset. The USS Somerset, a U.S. Navy trans-

port ship honoring the 40 passengersand crew of the downed airliner, isscheduled to be commissioned at Penn’sLanding, Philadelphia, on March 1.More than 1,200 residents from theSomerset County area, along with thefamilies of the crew members and pas-sengers of Flight 93, are expected to join

Som

REFLECTIONS: A crew member from the USSSomerset pauses for a moment at the wall ofnames at the Flight 93 National Memorial. Themotto of the ship is ‘Courage Through Adversity.’ Photo by Elena Pence/U.S. Navy

Spirit of Navy commissionsship in honor ofFlight 93, localcommunity

Page 9: Penn Lines January 2014

John Vatavuk, a member of SomersetRural Electric Cooperative, has beenworking closely with the ship’s builder— Huntington Ingalls Industries — andU.S. Navy officials since 2008 in an effortto encourage the connection between thecommunity, the families of Flight 93 andthe USS Somerset. “It’s a real honor to have a ship

named after this county, to be involvedin a ship that will honor the heroes ofFlight 93 and their families,” Vatavukstates.

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 9

erset

Page 10: Penn Lines January 2014

PENNlines

bow stem. The smoke andgases came up out of themold and caught fire. It wasa very impressive sight.”The bow stem was

shipped to an Avondaleshipyard near New Orleans,where construction on theship, which will be used innaval and humanitarianrelief operations around theworld, began.The Vatavuks went to the ship’s keel-

laying ceremony in December 2009 atthe Avondale shipyard, where the com-missioner spoke about his quest toinclude steel from the Somerset Countydragline into the USS Somerset. He alsospoke at the ship’s next milestone, thechristening ceremony in July 2012, alsoheld at the shipyard.Vatavuk had worked to gather arti-

facts for the mast stepping box (theship’s time capsule), which were dis-played in a shadow box at the christen-ing ceremony. They included a bottle ofSomerset County maple syrup, a key tothe borough of Somerset, a fire depart-ment patch from the Shanksville Volun-teer Fire Department (the first respon-ders to arrive at the crash site), a sher-iff’s patch, and photos and biographies

of crash victims. The mast stepping box,a metal box that was welded shut, willremain with the ship until it is decom-missioned in about 50 years, at whichtime it will be opened.While at the christening ceremony

for the USS Somerset, Vatavuk spokewith one of the ship’s officers who sug-gested that Vatavuk collect road signsfrom Somerset County to display on theship so the crew has a direct, constantconnection to Somerset County. All 50of Somerset County’s municipalitiesprovided a street sign denoting a street

name of special significanceto that community; Vatavukpurchased a Flight 93 Memo-rial Highway (Route 219) signand donated it from thecounty. The signs hang in theship’s hallways and rooms asan ever-present reminder tocrew members of their con-nection to Somerset County.Vatavuk also had a countymap framed to hang on boardthe ship.One of the unique aspects

of the USS Somerset is itsFlight 93 museum. As part of

Forging the bondVatavuk began his efforts to provide

parts of Somerset County to the ship-building efforts in 2008 after a local resi-dent suggested to him perhaps therewas a way some local materials could beincorporated into the USS Somerset, thenin the planning stages.“I thought that was a great idea,”

Vatavuk recalls. “A month or two later, Iheard the big dragline (an inactive exca-vating machine with an attached steamshovel) that had held the giant Americanflag that you see in so many of the earlyphotos from the crash site was going tobe scrapped because it was too expen-sive to maintain as part of the nationalmonument. … It turned out to be theexact type of carbon steel that wasneeded in the ship’s bow stem.”The scrap company in Reading, Pa.,

that was planning to dismantle thedragline authorized a demolition com-pany from Ohio to take 25 tons of steelfrom the bucket and haul it to NewportNews, Va., to the Northrup Grummanplant to be smelted.“In the summer of 2008, my wife and I

went to Virginia and watched the Navysmelt (the scrap metal),” Vatavuk says.“They turned it into molten steel, andthen they poured it into the mold for the

10 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

IN HONOR OF THESE: The command-ing officer of the USS Somerset,Capt. Thomas Dearborn, reads thenames of the heroes of UnitedAirlines Flight 93 at the 2013 cere-mony marking the 12th anniversaryof the Sept. 11, 2001, crash inSomerset County.

TRAVELING THE WORLD: These mementoes ofFlight 93 and Somerset County will be preservedin a mast stepping box (time capsule) that willremain with the USS Somerset until it is decom-missioned.

PHOTO BY ELENA PENCE/U.S. NAVY

PHOTO BY ELENA PENCE/U.S. NAVY

Page 11: Penn Lines January 2014

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 11

an integral part of the ship. … It makesyou very proud to see a ship that youput a lot of blood, sweat and tears intoventure into harm’s way to protect theUnited States, but it will be a bittersweetoccasion because it recognizes thetragedy that occurred in our county onSept. 11, 2001. We are very proud to be asmall part of honoring the heroes ofFlight 93 and their families.”As part of Kirst’s commitment to the

project, his company is matching up to$10,000 in local contributions to the USSSomerset Commissioning Committee,

which is charged with raising funds tohelp support the activities associatedwith the ship’s commissioning. Although the U.S. government pays for

the commissioning ceremony itself, mostof the other ceremonies associated withthe commissioning are paid for throughtax-deductible contributions raised by theNavy League of the United States.Henry Cook, president and CEO of

the Somerset Trust Co., is coordinatingthe local fundraising campaign. His goalis to raise $50,000 from the SomersetCounty area. (Tax-deductible contribu-

a $350 million construction project toadd 11.5 miles to the Flight 93 MemorialHighway in Somerset County, numeroustrees were removed. Twenty sugarmaple trees were salvaged, cut andmilled for floor boards, and installed asthe museum’s floor (a ship typically doesnot include wood floors, but an excep-tion was made in this case by the Secre-tary of the Navy). Among other items,the ship’s museum includes a benchmade from local cherry, a shovel used atthe groundbreaking for the Flight 93National Memorial Visitor Center, a firehose from the Shanksville VolunteerFire Department and a photo taken bySomerset Rural Electric Cooperativemember Val McClatchey immediatelyafter the crash showing smoke from thecrash rising over a neighbor’s barn.It is only fitting, Vatavuk says, that

these items will remain with the ship aslong as it sails for the U.S. Navy. “Somerset County residents are com-

mitted to, and have compassion for, thefamilies of Flight 93,” Vatavuk explains.“That will never change.”

Big pictureMany Somerset County residents feel

a connection to the Flight 93 families,but Bob Kirst, president of Global SFCValve Corporation, headquartered inSomerset, also has a unique connectionto the USS Somerset. His company pro-vided several hundred valves installed inthe propulsion area to enable power tobe transferred to the USS Somerset’s pro-pellers, as well as part of the used totransfer fuel from a delivery ship to thereceiving ship.Kirst’s company, which is dedicated

100 percent to providing materials forthe U.S. Navy shipbuilding industry, has42 full-time employees, along with twofull-time U.S. Navy inspectors onsite fivedays a week. He has invited all of hisemployees (plus one guest per employee)to attend the commissioning ceremonyin Philadelphia on March 1.“I want everyone to be able to see the

big picture,” he says. “For the majority ofmy employees, this will be the first timethey get to be up close and personal witha war ship that includes critical materialthat we produce. What we make here is

USS SomersetThe USS Somerset — the U.S. Navy’s ninth San Antonio-class amphibious transportdock ship — is named in honor of the passengers and crew of United Airlines Flight93, whose actions on Sept. 11, 2001, prevented terrorist hijackers from reachingtheir intended target, forcing the plane to crash in Somerset County.

The ship joins the USS New York and the USS Arlington, also named in honor ofthose lost during the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center andthe Pentagon.

The USS Somerset is 684 feet long with a beam of 105 feet; four diesel enginesproduce 41,600 shaft horsepower, propelling the ship at speeds in excess of 22knots (25 miles per hour). Weighing 24,900 tons, the $1.2-billion ship features aflight deck that can accommodate CH-46 helicopters and MV-22 Osprey tilt-rotoraircraft, and a well deck that can launch and recover landing craft and amphibiousvehicles. The ship is capable of embarking a landing force of more than 1,000Marines. Its regular crew numbers between 350 and 400.

The ship’s keel was laid down on Dec. 11, 2009, at Northrop Grumman’s Avondaleshipyard in New Orleans with ship construction by Huntington Ingalls Industries. Itwas launched in April 2012 and christened on July 28, 2012. Her commissioning onMarch 1, 2014, marks the entrance of the man-of-war into the country’s naval force.Although it will be homeported in San Diego, the commissioning is scheduled forPhiladelphia because of the ship’s connection to Pennsylvania.

In addition to its primary focus of supporting the U.S. Navy, the USS Somerset alsowill undertake humanitarian relief operations around the world during disasters.

COMMISSIONING SCHEDULED: The USS Somerset is set to be commissioned on March 1, 2014, atPenn’s Landing in Philadelphia to reflect its close ties to Pennsylvania.

U.S. NAVY PHOTO

Page 12: Penn Lines January 2014

tions may be mailed to USS Somerset incare of Somerset Trust Company, P.O.Box 777, Somerset, PA 15501.)“This is such a remarkable event, to

have a ship named after us,” Cook notes.“There have been other USS Somersetsnamed for other places, but this one isclearly named after us. … It is such aunique honor being bestowed upon usthat I hope many people will go toPhiladelphia to join in this once-in-a-life-time experience of a ship being broughtto life. I attended the christening cere-mony in New Orleans and was very,very powerfully moved by that experi-ence. Now, many of us have the opportu-nity to see the ship commissionedbecause it’s being done in Pennsylvania.”

Community spiritThe commissioning ceremony will be

12 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

PENNlines

another time that SomersetCounty residents can showtheir support for the familiesof the Flight 93 heroes, Cooknotes as he glances at a phototaken by Somerset residentDavid Breen hanging on hisoffice wall. A few days afterthe Sept. 11, 2001, crash, thecommunity organized amemorial ceremony for thefamilies.“We had to close the

streets of Somerset,” he recalls. “Liter-ally thousands of citizens gathered toembrace the families. This photo is fromthat night. … We were all engaged in theevents of Sept. 11, 2001, more than anyother part of the country outside of NewYork and Washington, D.C. … We aremiddle America. Nothing bad is sup-

posed to happen here, butthere we were, the focus ofthe war on terror. It is stillmind-boggling to think whathappened here.”Despite the sheer madness

of having a terrorist attackshatter the quiet countrysideof Somerset County, local resi-dents quickly rallied toembrace the families of the 40passengers and crew mem-bers who died.“There has been an

extraordinary bond forgedbetween the families of theheroes and the county,” Cooknotes. “That has beenexpressed to me countlesstimes by the families. Weopened our hearts to eachother. … At the christeningceremony, I said to one of thefamily members that I wasglad to hear the ship had apeaceful use as well as a mili-tary function. He turned tome and said, ‘That’s the spiritSomerset County put into theship.’ It choked me up thatthis is the relationship mycounty has established withthe families, who have said inpublic forums that heaven for-bid any other family should

have to go through this, but if they do,they pray it happens in a place like Som-erset County.”Gordon Felt, president of the Fami-

lies of Flight 93, an organizationfounded so the family members wholost loved ones would have a voice inthe creation of the national memorial inSomerset County, agrees that the bondbetween the families and the residentsof Somerset County is special. Felt losthis eldest brother, Edward, who was 41 at the time of the crash and living inMatawan, N.J.“The lives of the residents of Somer-

set County were immeasurably changedby this event, just as ours were,” Felt,who is a resident of Remsen, N.Y., notes.“They opened their homes to us. Theymade us feel Somerset County is oursecond home.”Once the national memorial was

planned and constructed, family mem-bers continued to be involved in theannual memorial ceremonies at thecrash site, as well as the ongoing effortsto personalize the USS Somerset.“Mary Jo Myers (the wife of Gen.

Richard Myers, former chairman of theJoint Chiefs of Staff and the ship’s spon-sor) has been working closely with theFamilies of Flight 93 to create a quilt,”Felt explains. “Each member of the crewand each passenger will have a square.The squares will be sewn together andquilted. That quilt will be displayed onthe ship.”Each family was asked to personalize

MEMORIAL SERVICE: Petty Officer 3rd Class Audri Quinlan, acrew member of the USS Somerset, rings the bell honoring theheroes of United Airlines Flight 93 at the Sept. 11, 2013, memo-rial ceremony in Somerset County.

A NEW USE: Steel from a dragline that was theonly witness to the Sept. 11, 2001, crash of UnitedAirlines Flight 93 is smelted to be made into apart of the USS Somerset’s bow stem.

PHOTO BY ELENA PENCE/U.S. NAVY

PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN VATAVUK

Page 13: Penn Lines January 2014

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 13

a quilt square memorializing their lovedone. Felt’s wife created the quilt piecefor his family, focusing on the loveEdward had for his familyand his faith.Felt traveled to New

Orleans several times duringthe shipbuilding stage andmet the men and womenwho were working there.“To meet those people and

see their dedication and inten-sity and the passion theybrought to this project hasbeen very inspiring,” Feltnotes. “Everyone associatedwith this project has a truepassion for the project. Asfamily members, we don’twant our loved ones to be for-gotten, either as individuals orfor their actions on 9/11. Theyserved to inspire us on thatday, today and into the future for newgenerations of Americans. The USS Som-erset is one additional avenue that willkeep their memories alive.”

Sailing onThe commander of the USS Somerset

— Capt. Thomas Dearborn — is deter-mined to do his part to keeping thosememories alive. Dearborn, who wasserving on the USS Mount Whitney asexecutive officer on Sept. 11, 2001, sayshe often thinks of the first responders,the lives lost that day and all the familieswho were affected by the terrorists.Prior to that September day, the

Mount Vernon, Maine, native had neverheard of Somerset County, but after hisfirst visit there to participate in the Sept.11, 2013, memorial ceremony, Dearbornsays he feels as though it is a familiarplace.“The hospitality, the warmth and

genuine nature of the community gaveme a welcoming feeling, as if I had livedthere my whole life,” he says.For an officer in the U.S. Navy to be

entrusted with the awesome responsibil-ity of a command of any ship is hum-bling, he says, but it is a special honorand privilege to have the opportunity toserve as the first commanding officer ofthe USS Somerset (he previously com-

manded the USS Tempest and the USSUnderwood).“This is a ship whose namesake rep-

resents the heroic actions of 40 crewand passengers of United Flight 93, hon-oring their collective sacrifice and thecourage displayed in the face of over-whelming adversity,” he notes. “I feel anunparalleled sense of pride workingalongside the nation’s finest sailors and

Marines. The officers and crew of Som-erset have been working diligently toprepare this ship for service. Throughour service in the U.S. Navy, we hope tohonor those who have sacrificed somuch to preserve the freedoms we cher-ish today.”Because of the combined efforts of the

U.S. Navy and the residents of SomersetCounty, the crew of the USS Somersetwill be surrounded by reminders of theheroes of Flight 93, as well as the careand compassion the Somerset Countycommunity provided to the families ofthose heroes in the aftermath of thecrash. In return, the crew will honorboth the heroes and the county throughtheir daily service, as well as their atten-dance each year at the Sept. 11 annualmemorial ceremony.“It is especially fitting that this ship is

not designed to be used only in war,”observes Vatavuk. “It also will deliversupplies in cases of natural disasters,delivering medical supplies and food. Itis a great tribute to the people who diedin a Somerset County field that a shipnamed in honor of them will providehumanitarian service throughout theworld.”l

‘FLIGHT OF VALOR’: The Somerset County Community Band, which commissioned ‘Flight of Valor’ by Ohiocomposer James Swearingen, will perform the piece on Feb. 28 during a reception before the USSSomerset commissioning ceremony. It tells the tragic story of United Airlines Flight 93 in music. Theband initially performed the piece on the first anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, crash. Members of theband are shown co-performing the piece with members of neighboring Macungie Band.

THE SOMERSET STORY: Somerset County Commissioner JohnVatavuk, a member of Somerset Rural Electric Cooperative,speaks at the keel-laying ceremony for the USS Somerset inDecember 2009.

U.S. NAVY PHOTO

PHOTO COURTESY OF MACUNGIE BAND

Page 14: Penn Lines January 2014

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TRUTH BE TOLD, YOUR ELECTRICITY COMES FROM PEOPLE POWER. Thankfully, there’s one energy source that co-op members can always depend on – the hard-working dedication and efficiency of your electric co-op linemen. Learn more about the power of your co-op membership at TogetherWeSave.com.

TOGETHERWESAVE.COM

TIMElines Y o u r N e w s m a g a z i n e T h r o u g h t h e Y e a r s

1974 One family makes a concerted effort toreduce fuel consumption to help the country getthrough the worst energy crisis in its history.

1984 Allegheny Electric Cooperative, Inc.,adopts a balanced energy program that includeshydro, nuclear, ground water heat pumps and loadmanagement.

2004 Steve Bishop, Corry Higher EducationCouncil, Erie, notes that organizations like hisaddress the lack of access to postsecondary edu-cation and training in Pennsylvania.

WITH PEAKS under 2,000 feet and an average annualsnowfall of 30 to 40 inches, Pennsylvania may notmatch the conditions of mountains in Colorado or Ver-mont, but don’t be misled. Pennsylvania’s ski resortshave an unbeatable devotion to customer service, as wellas some pretty steep grades that make the rugged ter-rain of rural Pennsylvania a match for novice and proskiers alike.

Rural Pennsylvania offers multiple choices of placesto ski spread out across the state. Most have investedhundreds of thousands of dollars in modern snow-mak-ing and chairlift systems, enabling them to survive in astate that doesn’t receive a lot of snow naturally. Many ofthe ski resorts also offer extensive ski school programsthat allow the entire family to participate.

Whether you are looking for a sophisticated skiresort with plenty of restaurants and nightlife, a family-oriented hill where your kids can learn to ski, or a no-frills mountain where your biggest choice is decidingwhat to wear on the slopes, there’s something for every-one at the ski resorts of Pennsylvania.

1994

16 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

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TRUTH BE TOLD, YOUR ELECTRICITY COMES FROM PEOPLE POWER. Thankfully, there’s one energy source that co-op members can always depend on – the hard-working dedication and efficiency of your electric co-op linemen. Learn more about the power of your co-op membership at TogetherWeSave.com.

TOGETHERWESAVE.COM

Page 18: Penn Lines January 2014

18 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

SMALL electric space heaters can reduceyour utility bills, but only if you set yourcentral heating system (heat pump or fur-nace) thermostat lower. They make senseif only one or two people live in a house,with no need to keep vacant rooms warm.

Another common situation is whenthere are rooms in a house that do notstay warm enough. Often a person getschilly in one of those problem rooms andturns the central thermostat higher. Thiswarms the entire house and more heat islost through the walls, windows, and ceil-ing. It is much more efficient to use asmall space heater in these rooms.

First, it is important to understand allelectric space heaters are effectively 100-percent efficient. Don’t let advertising stat-ing this fact influence your buying deci-sion. This just means all of the electricity itconsumes ends up as heat in your house.It does not mean it’s cheap to operate.

Also, the maximum heat most smallspace heaters can safely produce is about5,100 British thermal units per hour (Btuh).Houses typically use central heating sys-tems with a capacity of 50,000 to 100,000Btuh, so a single space heater cannot heatan entire house. Be wary of advertisingstating a small electric space heater canallow your central system to run dramati-cally less for 50 percent or more savings.

There’s not a “best” electric spaceheater for every situation. The properselection depends on the room and howyou plan to use the heater. For example,are you looking for quiet heat in a bed-room at night, heat for just one person

Have a question for Jim? Send inquiriesto JAMES DULLEY , Penn Lines, 6906Royalgreen Drive, Cincinnati, OH 45244 orvisit www.dulley.com.

Hard factsabout spaceheatersSpace heaters can help, but they’renot always the right choice

watching TV, or will there be a group ofpeople in a large room?

Choose between direct radiant andconvection (air circulation) space heaters;both types have advantages. Within eachgroup, there are many comfort featuresand options that may impact your deci-sion. If you have young children, thereare also safety considerations.

Radiant space heatersRadiant-style heaters heat quickly.

These use a red-hot ribbon, long quartzor carbon tubes to produce infrared heatradiation similar to the sun’s rays. Theyprimarily heat objects and people directlyin front of them. Carbon tubes produceinfrared heat that penetrates objects andskin slightly below the surface. Thismakes it very comfortable, effective heat.

Radiant heaters are quiet and ideal forheating a specific spot. For example, I useone across from my computer desk to keepme warm while I am writing. My body andthe furniture in its path gradually reradiatethe heat so the room air also heats upslightly. To heat a slightly larger area, selecta model that automatically oscillates.

Convection space heatersConvection heaters are designed to

heat the air in the room. This is oftendone using a built-in fan to circulateroom air over the heating elements. Oil-filled, old radiator-style heaters use natu-ral air circulation (hot air rises) to moveroom air over the heat source, gentlywarming a room without bursts of heat.

For a living room, often the largestroom in a house, consider a convectionstyle heater. This heats an entire roommore effectively. Choose a model with athermostat and multispeed fan to controlthe heat output. A ceramic convectionheater is safe around young children. Ifthe air flow gets blocked, the heating out-put automatically drops and there are nored hot ribbons.

For a bedroom, where quiet operationis important, use an oil-filled radiator or aconvection heater with a low-speed set-ting. Another option is a radiant modelfacing the bed if you don’t mind the redglow. A horizontal one will heat the entirebed area.l

SMARTcircuits b y J a m e s D u l l e y

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BEHOLD A 40-FOOTSTAKE IN THE GROUND.

TOGETHERWESAVE.COM

In 1935, this was more than a pole. It was a symbol of determination.It spurred hope, cooperation and growth. Today, you can keep that spirit alive by saving energy. Find out how at TogetherWeSave.com.

See what a difference it makes…

Advertise in Penn Lines Classifieds

Page 20: Penn Lines January 2014

20 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

COUNTRYkitchen

From dried to deliciousWITH January comes short, cold days and long, even coldernights. Why not warm up your kitchen with a slow-cookingsoup featuring dried beans or legumes, and then warm upyour insides by slowly savoring each and every spoonful?

This month, take time to peruse the dried beans at yourfavorite market. Pick up some black beans, lentils or splitpeas. Try some new recipes, and see if you agree with thosewho say dried is the way to go for nutritious, flavorful soups.Note that in the hierarchy of dried beans, black beans arenear the top in terms of prep time, requiring pre-soaking andtwo or more hours of cooking time. Lentils are near the bot-tom, requiring an easy 30 minutes or less of cooking time.

The added bonus of slowly cooked, homemade bean soupis that flavors have a chance to build and blend, and you havecomplete control of all ingredients. Feel free to adjust season-

ings to suit your personal taste. lA trained journalist, JANETTE HESS focuses her writing on inter-

esting people and interesting foods. She is a Master Food Volunteer

with her local extension service and enjoys collecting, testing and

sharing recipes.

1 pound (approximately 2 cups) dried black beans, cleaned and soakedovernight according to package instructionsWater1 teaspoon ground cumin1 teaspoon onion powder1/2 teaspoon garlic powder4 strips lean bacon, diced1 onion, diced1/2 cup celery, diced1 clove garlic, minced1 cup mild salsa1 box (32 fluid ounces) beef cooking stock (regular or reduced sodium)Hot pepper sauce, if desired

In large cooking pot, soak beans overnight in 6 cups cold water. Drainand rinse beans. Add 6 cups hot water, cumin, onion powder and gar-lic powder. Bring to boil. Reduce heat, cover loosely and simmer for 2 to 3 hours, or until beans are soft. Stir occasionally. When beans aresoft, fry diced bacon in non-stick skillet until crisp. Drain on papertowel. Discard all but 1 tablespoon bacon drippings. Sauté onion andcelery in drippings until soft, approximately 6 to 8 minutes. Add garlicand continue cooking 1 minute longer. To create soup, add onion mix-ture to beans, along with salsa and stock. Transfer at least 1 cup ofbeans and broth to small blender or food processor to puree. Returnmixture to pot. Add bacon. Slowly simmer uncovered for up to 1 hour,or until soup is desired consistency and flavors have blended. Add hotpepper sauce to taste. Makes approximately 10 cups soup.SERVING SUGGESTION: For a nutritional boost, add desired amountof fresh, chopped spinach during the last few minutes of cooking.Serve as soon as the spinach has wilted in the soup.

BLACK BEAN SOUP

SPLIT PEA SOUP1 16-ounce package green split peas4 cups chicken broth or vegetable broth(regular or reduced sodium)

4 cups water1/2 onion, chopped1/2 cup diced celery (include tops, if desired)

1 clove garlic, diced2 whole carrots, trimmed and peeled1 1/2 cups diced smoked ham (approximately 6 ounces)1/2 teaspoon salt1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepperFreshly ground black pepper

Rinse and drain peas according to package instructions. Place peas in slowcooker and add broth, water, onion, celery, garlic and whole carrots. Cookat high setting for 2 to 3 hours, or until peas are very soft and carrots aretender. Remove carrots to cutting board. Cut lengthwise and then sliceinto small pieces. Set aside. Using immersion blender, completely blendpeas and liquid. (If immersion blender is not available, use standardblender, but allow mixture to cool before processing it in small batches;return to slow cooker.) Add sliced carrots and all remaining ingredients.Cook at low setting for 1 hour. Makes approximately 12 cups soup. NOTE: If vegetarian soup is desired, use vegetable broth and omit ham. Ifmeaty-flavored soup is desired, add a ham bone or ham “heel” to splitpeas while they are cooking. Remove before blending.

1 pound ground beef1 large onion, diced1 bell pepper, seeded and diced

1 26-ounce jar spaghetti sauce

1 16-ounce jar mild salsa

1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder

1 1/2 teaspoons cumin6 cups water plus more as needed

3/4 cup dry lentils

In large pot, brown ground beef. Drain if necessary. Combine all ingredients

except lentils and bring to a boil. Rinse and drain lentils according to pack-

age instructions; add to pot. Cover and simmer for approximately 30 min-

utes, or until lentils are tender, stirring occasionally. Add additional water as

needed to adjust thickness of chili.

b y J a n e t t e H e s s

EASY LENTIL CHILI

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J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 21

IT’S A shame we have to putaway those magical outdoorholiday lights. Without them,the post-holiday let down hitseven harder — we’re tuckeredout from rushing and bustlingand prepping and visiting andpartying, and then we removeall the pretty sparkle andexcitement of decorations. Ontop of that, we shut down allthat vibrant lighting. ThusJanuary, already one of thedarkest months of the year,slides somberly into obscurity.Why not use decorative out-door lights all year long?

I’m a fan of natural winterinterest in the landscape, butto be honest, this is an under-stated beauty. We have towork to notice details of tex-ture or slight variations ofcolor, or wait for a dusting ofsnow or glittery ice to get thefull effect. It’s nice, but there’sno wow factor.

How to create excitementoutside now? Planting proj-ects are out of the question —once we plunk the live Christ-mas tree in its pre-dug hole,there’s frozen ground. Butfinally, the winter projectswitch clicked in my brain

when I realized how much Ihate leaving home early in thedark and coming home in thedark. Let there be light!

Most of our homes sporthumdrum outdoor lighting. Itgoes unnoticed as long as itdoes its job. But that’s not tosay we don’t appreciate “artis-tic” lighting. And by usingtimers and energy-saving LEDlights, it is feasible to includedecorative lighting in our land-scapes. Specialty lighting takesa little more ingenuity and trialand error to get right, butwhen well-arranged, it canreally amp up our enjoymentof the space — year-round.

There are many lightingoptions. A few favoritesinclude: a light shining on theslightly icy waterfall in apond. Upward-directed spotshighlighting the shadows castby delicate birch branches, ahorizontally tiered dogwoodand the tall, dry and dramaticstems of an ornamental grassclump. Gentle downwardpools of light along a pathwaybringing a soft glow to thebordering azaleas blossoms.

One of my favoritevignettes in a previous gardenwas observing the surface ofthe little ornamental pond(water or ice, depending onthe season) twinkling as Isipped my first coffee of theday. I’d think about the gold-fish wintering down in thedepths, how the marvels ofnature (with a little help froman electric pump and a light-bulb or two) allowed me toenjoy a water feature yearround, night and day.

If you are not dialed in onthe power of decorative exte-rior lighting, begin observingit in public spaces where thelighting designer specificallyaimed to make it feel invitingin the evening. Upscale restau-rants, hotels, theaters, andoutdoor shopping areas oftenshow clever lighting effects, asdo commercial buildings withatriums or courtyards. Thesetechniques can be adapted touse at home.

When you plan your light-ing, experiment using flash-lights, camping lanterns, orbattery-operated candles (ordrag those holiday lights rightback out of storage) and seewhat kinds of effects can beachieved. Once your func-tional needs for ambulation,safety, and security are met,lighting turns as creative andornamental as your imagina-tion can dream up. Spotlight aplant to cast shadows in a cer-tain direction, or create a poolof light to feature the gazeboor fountain. Wrap twinkling

white lights along the limbs ofa tree, or decorate the toolshed with electrified paperlanterns.

If the above sounds too tra-ditional, then turn yourthoughts to the drama andexcitement of theaters ornightclubs. We don’t have tostop the party just becauseNew Year’s Eve has come andgone. Fire up a Bollywood-style, multicolored spinningdisco ball and tie it in withyour sound system for someserious fun. Line up the tikitorches and see how well theyreflect snow. Luminarias turnany evening walk into a magi-cal experience. Start fine-tun-ing the special effects for thatsummer dance party on thedeck, an enchanting candlelitpicnic under the stars, orwhatever type of gatheringfloats your boat. Summer willbe here before you know it!l

POWERplants

BARBARA MARTIN ,who says she began gar-dening as a hobby “toomany years ago tocount,” currently worksfor the National Garden-

ing Association as a horticulturist. A formermember of Gettysburg-based Adams Elect -ric Cooperative, her articles appear in mag-azines and on the internet.

b y B a r b a r a M a r t i n

Light it up

LIGHTING FOR EFFECT: Decorativelighting does more than just showthe way to your house.

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22 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

PENNLINESclassified

ISSUE MONTH: AD DEADLINE:

CLASSIFIED AD SUBMISSION/RATES: Please use the form below or submit a separate sheet with required information.

Electric co-op members: $20 per month for 30 words or less, plus 50¢ for each additional word.

Non-members: $70 per month for 30 words or less, plus $1.50 for each additional word.

Ad in all CAPITAL letters: Add 20 percent to total cost. Please print my ad in all CAPITAL letters.

PLACE AD IN THE MONTHS OF: . WORD COUNT: .

I am an electric co-op member. Attached is my Penn Lines mailing label.

Enclosed is payment in the amount of $ .

I am a non-member. Address is noted or attached at right.

Enclosed is payment in the amount of $ .

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

8 9 10 11 12 13 14

15 16 17 18 19 20 21

22 23 24 25 26 27 28

29 30 Additional words; attach separate sheet if needed.

FREE Headings (Select One): Around the House Business Opportunities Employment Opportunities Gift and Craft Ideas Livestock and Pets Miscellaneous Motor Vehicles and Boats Nursery and Garden Real Estate Recipes and Food Tools and Equipment Vacations and Campsites Wanted to Buy

SPECIAL HEADING: . SPECIAL HEADING FEE: $5 for co-op members, $10 for non-members. Applies even if heading is already appearing in Penn Lines. Insertion of classified ad serves as proof of publication; no proofs supplied. SEND FORM TO: Penn Lines Classifieds, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Please make CHECK/MONEY ORDER payable to: PREA/Penn Lines.

Penn Lines classified advertisements reach more than 165,800 rural Pennsylvania households! Please note ads must be received by the due date to be included in the requested issue month. Ads received beyond the due date will run in the next available issue. Written notice of changes and cancellations must be received 30 days prior to the issue month. Classified ads will not be accepted by phone, fax or email. For more information please contact Vonnie Kloss at 717/233-5704.

Name/Address or Mailing Label Here:

March 2014 . . . . . . . January 16

April 2014 . . . . . . . . February 12

May 2014 . . . . . . . . . . . March 18

AROUND THE HOUSE

SPECIAL OFFER — BOTH COOKBOOKS FOR $12. “CountryCooking,” Volume 2 — $5, including postage. “RecipesRemembered,” Volume 3 — $7, including postage. Both ofthese cookbooks are a collection of recipes from men andwomen of the electric co-ops of Pennsylvania and NewJersey. Payable to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association,P. O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Write Attention:Cookbooks. Volume 1 of “Country Cooking” is SOLD OUT.

CLOCK REPAIR: If you have an antique grandfather clock,mantel clock or old pocket watch that needs restored, wecan fix any timepiece. Macks Clock Repair: 814-421-7992.

BUILDING SUPPLIES

STEEL ROOFING AND SIDING. Over 25 years in business.Several profiles - cut to length. Residential roofing$2.20/lineal foot. Seconds, heavy gauges, accessories, etc.Installation available. Located - northwestern Pennsylvania.814-398-4052.

FACTORY SECONDS of insulation, 4 x 8 sheets, foil back. R-Value 6.5 per inch. Great for pole buildings, garages, etc.Also prime grade A foil bubble wrap insulation. 814-442-6032.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

PIANO TUNING PAYS — Learn at home with American Schoolof Piano Tuning home-study course in piano tuning andrepair. Tools included. Diploma granted. Call for freebrochure 800-497-9793.

NEED REMODELING? Professional and knowledgeablecarpenters specializing in mountain homes of PA. Call forreasonable quotes! Serving Somerset and Rockwood areas.814-926-2887.

OWNERS wish to RETIRE following 28-year ownership of asuccessful Family Campground. Includes plus or minus 40acres, owners’ home, recreation hall, store, three cabins,shop, garage, and equipment. Located in West SpringCreek, PA, Warren County. Price $595,000. 814-664-2994.

LEASE PARTNERSHIP. Newly renovated restaurant to becompleted Spring 2014 located in Northern Fulton County.Serious inquiries only. Please call 443-463-2972.

CONSULTING FORESTRY SERVICES

NOLL’S FORESTRY SERVICES, INC. performs TimberMarketing, Timber Appraisals, Forest Management Planning,and Forest Improvement Work. FREE Timber LandRecommendations. 30 years experience. Call 814-472-8560.

CENTRE FOREST RESOURCES. Maximizing present andfuture timber values, Forest Management Services,Managing Timber Taxation, Timber Sales, Quality DeerManagement. FREE Timber Consultation. College educated,professional, ethical. 814-867-7052.

CONTRACTORS/CRAFTSMEN

Beautiful HARDWOOD LUMBER — Cherry, Ash, Poplar, Maple.Planed or unplaned. Cheaper than Lowes, Home Depot.814-435-2592. North Central Pennsylvania.

CRANE SERVICE

NEED A LIFT? Crane service for all your lifting needs.Experienced, fully insured, Owner-Operated and OSHACertified. Precision Crane, Linesville, PA 814-282-9133.

FENCING

Building a fence? Find hydraulic post drivers, high-tensilewire, electric fence, electric netting, rotational grazingsupplies, tools and more from Kencove Farm FenceSupplies. FREE Fence Guide/Catalog – Call 800-536-2683!www.kencove.com.

GIFT AND CRAFT IDEAS

SPECIAL OFFER — BOTH COOKBOOKS FOR $12. “CountryCooking,” Volume 2 — $5, including postage. “RecipesRemembered,” Volume 3 — $7, including postage. Both ofthese cookbooks are a collection of recipes from men andwomen of the electric co-ops of Pennsylvania and NewJersey. Payable to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association,P. O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Write Attention:Cookbooks. Volume 1 of “Country Cooking” is SOLD OUT.

GRASS FED BEEF

100% GRASS FED BEEF. Our holistic management producesthe highest quality meat. Animals graze on a natural diet,are never fed grain, growth hormones, antibiotics orpesticides. McCormick Farm, LLC 814-472-7259.

HEALTH AND NUTRITION

Tired of all those medicines ⎯ Still not feeling better? Doyou want to feel better, have more energy, betterdigestion, less joint stiffness, healthier heart/circulationand cholesterol levels? Find out how to empower your ownimmune system ⎯ start I-26 today! It’s safe, affordable,and it works. Call 800-557-8477: ID#528390. 90-daymoney back on first time orders or call me 724-454-5586.www.mylegacyforlife.net/believeit.

HEALTH INSURANCE

DO YOU HAVE THE BLUES regarding your Health Insurance?We cater to rural America's health insurance needs. Formore information, call 800-628-7804 (PA). Call usregarding Medicare supplements, too.

Page 23: Penn Lines January 2014

Toll Free 1-888-875-8233

F a x : 9 4 0 - 4 8 4 - 6 7 4 6 e m a i l : [email protected] e b s i t e : h t t p : / / w w w . R H I N O B L D G . C O M

25 Year Warranty on Roof & Walls;Prices F.O.B. Mfg. Plants; Seal Stamped Blue Prints; Easy Bolt Together Design.

Farm•Industrial •Commercial

VISITOUR

WEBSITE

PRICES INCLUDE COLOR SIDES

& GALVALUME ROOF

VISITOUR

WEBSITE

(Local codes may affect prices)

Arena Special (roof & frame)

100’ x 100’ x 14’...$35,499

30’ x 50’ x 10’........$8,68140’ x 60’ x 12’........$11,99950’ x 75’ x 14.........$17,88860’ x 100’ x 12’......$23,995100’ x 150’ x 14’....$56,999

&3, 4, 5 & 6 night cruises on the magnificent and historic

Quebec City, Ottawa, Kingston Departures

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 23

HISTORY OF YOUR LAND

LEARN THE HISTORY of your land and land ownership goingback as far as 150 years. Makes a unique thoughtful gift, doit for yourself or someone you love. 814-580-0547.www.mylandhistory.com.

HUNTING

CUSTOM HAND MADE to order or in-stock wooden turkeycalls of various woods and sizes. 814-267-5489 leavemessage for Precision Unlimited Inc., Berlin, PA.

INFRARED SAUNAS

Removes toxins, burns calories, relieves joint pain, relaxesmuscles, increases flexibility, strengthens immune system.Many more HEALTH BENEFITS with infrared radiant heatsaunas. Economical to operate. Barron’s Furniture,Somerset, PA. 814-443-3115.

LANDOWNER INCOME OPPORTUNITY

OUR SPORTSMEN will Pay Top $$$ to hunt your land. Call fora Free Base Camp Leasing info packet & Quote. 866-309-1507. www.BaseCampLeasing.com.

LAWN AND GARDEN EQUIPMENT

HARRINGTONS EQUIPMENT COMPANY, 475 Orchard Rd.,Fairfield, PA 17320. 717-642-6001 or 410-756-2506.Lawn & Garden equipment, Sales – Service - Parts.www.HarringtonsEquipment.com

LEGAL SERVICES

WORKERS’ COMPENSATION: Injured and want to know yourrights? Call us at 877-291-9675 for FREE advice or visit ourwebsite for your FREE book at www.workinjuryinpa.com.

LIVESTOCK AND PETS

PEMBROKE WELSH CORGI Puppies — AKC, adorable,intelligent, highly trainable. Excellent family choice.Reputable licensed breeder guaranteed “Last breed you’llever own.” 814-587-3449.

TWO REGISTERED HORSES for the price of one. “Failed backsurgery” – husband tired of taking care of them. Hay andall tack also available, reasonable prices. Call: 814-623-8178. Text: 814-935-7796.

LOG CABIN RESTORATIONS

VILLAGE RESTORATIONS & CONSULTING specializes in 17th and18th century log, stone and timber structures. We dismantle,move, re-erect, restore, construct and consult all over thecountry. Period building materials available. Chestnut boards,hardware, etc. Thirty years experience, fully insured. Call814-696-1379. www.villagerestorations.com.

MEDICATION MANAGEMENT

TOO MANY MEDS – Not Enough Money? Have a Pennsylvaniapharmacist trained in drug costs and improved healthoutcomes review your medicine list and makerecommendations tailored to your needs. Find cheaper,better drugs. One-page synopsis $40. Also, 2 free reports:“How to Read a Prescription” and “There are No FreeSamples.” Call weekdays at 570-465-2838.

MISCELLANEOUS

BECOME AN ORDAINED MINISTER — Correspondence Study.The harvest truly is great, the laborers are few, Luke 10:2.Free information. Ministers for Christ Outreach, 7558 WestThunderbird Rd., Ste. 1 - #114, Peoria, Arizona 85381.www.ordination.org.

MOTORCYCLE-SNOWMOBILE INSURANCE

For the best INSURANCE RATES call R & R InsuranceAssociates from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at 800-442-6832 (PA).

REAL ESTATE

Beautiful CABIN/VACATION Home for sale – LycomingCounty. Three bedroom, 1,500 square foot great room, fulldry basement, garage, loft above garage, fully furnished,1.38 acres, snowmobile access trails 4 1/2 baths. $220,000.717-225-3443.

RECIPES AND FOOD

SPECIAL OFFER — BOTH COOKBOOKS FOR $12. “CountryCooking,” Volume 2 — $5, including postage. “RecipesRemembered,” Volume 3 — $7, including postage. Both ofthese cookbooks are a collection of recipes from men andwomen of the electric co-ops of Pennsylvania and NewJersey. Payable to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association,P. O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Write Attention:Cookbooks. Volume 1 of “Country Cooking” is SOLD OUT.

SAWMILLS

USED PORTABLE Sawmills and COMMERCIAL SawmillEquipment! Buy/Sell. Call Sawmill Exchange 800-459-2148.USA and Canada. www.sawmillexchange.com.

SHAKLEE

FREE SAMPLE Shaklee’s Energy Tea. Combination red, greenand white teas that are natural, delicious, refreshing, safe.For sample or more information on tea or other ShakleeNutrition/Weight Loss Products: 800-403-3381 orwww.sbarton.myshaklee.com.

TRACTOR PARTS – REPAIR/RESTORATION

ARTHURS TRACTORS, specializing in vintage Ford tractors,30-years experience, online parts catalog/prices, Indiana,PA 15701. Contact us at 877-254-FORD (3673) orwww.arthurstractors.com.

VACATIONS AND CAMPSITES

SPRING IS COMING! Raystown Vacation House Rental.Sleeps 11, fireplace, four bedrooms, table for 12, two newflat screen Satellite TVs, two full baths, two half baths,linens/towels provided. One mile from Snyder Run boatlaunch, large parking area. Minimum two nights. Call 814-931-6562. Visit www.laurelwoodsretreat.com.

NAPLES FLORIDA CONDO — Two bedrooms, baths, heatedpools, near beaches. December 18-January 1st, $1,200;January 3-23, $1,700; March 8-21, $1,200. 717-872-7930until December 7th. December 14th – 239-774-2306.

BEAUTIFUL LAKE ERIE COTTAGE — Enjoy swimming, fishingand sunsets at their finest. Sleeps eight, 20 miles west ofErie. Available May to November. Call 814-333-9669. Visitour website at www.curleycottage.com.

NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Florida condo. Two bedrooms, twobaths. Heated pool. Lovely small historical town. 200 yardsfrom beach. $500 weekly, $1,800 monthly. Call 814-635-4020.

WANTED TO BUY

CARBIDE – Paying cash/lb. – Some examples of items thathave carbide pieces at their tips for cutting or drilling are:coal mining machinery – roof bits – road bits –gas/oil/water well drill bits – machining inserts as well asmany others. We will pick up your materials containingcarbide pieces. We will extract the carbide item from thepart in which it is held in most cases. 814-395-0415.

LOOKING TO BUY large handmade bear trap with jaws byNewhouse (old). Also pre-1860’s copper whiskey still withrounded bottom for display. Call Ron at 717-532-6059.

DR POWER EQUIPMENT wants your ideas! Earn $300 forqualified new ideas for property tools and equipment.Submit your idea by going to www.drpower.com/300.

PENNLINESclassified

WELL WATER

WATER TEST KITS — Do It Yourself. Safe, designed aroundUS EPA Standards for bacteria. Check results in 48 hoursin your home, $19.95. Delivered by mail. Order by phone717-368-1190 or email [email protected].

HOW HEALTHY is your well? The homeowner is responsiblefor testing your water. Wells may become contaminatedwith bacteria and other pathogens – kill bacteria with ourultra violet whole house lights. Factory priced, made inMaryland. Save hundreds off retail. Call 717-368-1190. [email protected].

JA N UA R Y 2 0 1 3

InsulateLayers of flavorThe blue jay

PLUS

Flight offancyBirdwatchers find Pennsylvaniahome to many feathered friends

M A R C H 2 0 1 1

Building efficiency & comfort

Birds’ spring songs

Tastes of the tropics

PLUS

The no-dig

gardening alternativeThe no-dig

gardening alternative

APR I L 20 1 3

Flexible Tex-MexImpatiensHow did I ever survive?

PLUS

Timemachines

Classic tractors tell early storyof American agriculture

Reach nearly 166,000 ruralPennsylvania households!

Advertise in Penn Lines. Formore information, please visit

our website atwww.prea.com/Content/

pennlines.aspor call 717.233.5704

Page 24: Penn Lines January 2014

24 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

OUTDOORadventures b y M a r c u s S c h n e c k

WE HAD come full circle,through some of the meanestbrush and bramble the smallriver valley could throw upin our path, and now cutacross our earlier tracks inthe snow. The red fox’sprints revealed he had spentlong minutes studying ourtrail before assessing thedanger to be elsewhere andmoving directly back alongthe route he was followingwhen we had spotted hisfresh trail three hours earlierand began our tracking.

New-fallen snow is a bookwritten fresh, printed in thelanguage of tracks of all thatmove through it.

Today’s volume revealed afew hours in the life of alarge red fox taking care ofhis daily business.

He moved slowly, unhur-ried, cautious and careful,always close to the densetangles of undergrowth.

He spent considerabletime at the hopping tracks ofsome chickadees, nuthatchesand other small, mixed-flockbirds. Most likely he hadseen the birds making thetracks and, when no preda-tory opportunity presenteditself and the birds movedon, made the best of the situ-ation and learned a bit moreabout the potential prey.

He paused at the edge of asmall, grassy opening andpaced a downwind semi-cir-cle along about a third of theclearing. Then he apparentlysat just outside the opening,scanning the hillocks of sod.Something, probably a

mouse or vole, maybe mov-ing beneath the three or fourinches of snow, must havecaught his attention.

He stalked, waited, stalkeda bit farther and pounced.His entire body arced up,over and straight back down,front paws and snout first,right down into the snow.

The target had been follow-ing an under-snow trail thatwas the most obvious clue forme, but paled in usability forthe fox, with his super-sensesof hearing and smelling.Maybe at the last moment hehad sighted something, but hehad zoomed in on his prey wellbefore his vision came intoplay. His ears and his nose hadlocated a small rodent beneaththe snow that the fox likelynever saw before he pounced.

No evidence at the scene ofthe attack indicated the foxhad been successful, but just ashort way off from the open-

ing he dined with much lessenergy output. He had torninto the carcass of an alreadydead rabbit. Something hadhappened to the rabbit beforethe snow began falling about ahalf-day earlier. The full threeto four inches still coveredpart of the carcass, even afterthe fox had tugged at it to tearoff the bits and pieces thatmade up his meal.

The fox urinated on therabbit leftovers, attempted toscratch some dirt and leavesover the cache, gave up onthat, and moved on. He beganthe wide, meandering loopthat eventually took him backacross his own trail and mine.

It was a book well written,complete with plot twists andcharacters beyond anythingon the bookshelf.l

MARCUS SCHNECK isis outdoor and naturewriter at PennLive.com,the website of The Har-risburg, Pa., Patriot-News. He also writes fora range of magazinesand websites, and has

written more than two dozen books. For moreof his writing, visit www.marcusschneck.com.

What doesthe fox say?

TRACKS IN THE SNOW: Fresh snowprovides the opportunity to get toknow a fox a bit better.

Page 25: Penn Lines January 2014

Attention High School SeniorsAt least five $1,000 Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association Scholarships in Memory of

William F. Matson are available for the 2014-15 college year.

fill out and mail this coupon

Please send me an application for the 2014-15Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association Scholar-ship Trust Fund in Memory of William F. Matson.I am a high school senior and the son or daughterof a member or employee of an electric cooperativein Pennsylvania and New Jersey who belongs tothe Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association.

_______________________________________________________________Name

_______________________________________________________________Address

_______________________________________________________________Town or City

_______________________________________________________________State Zip

_______________________________________________________________Email address

_______________________________________________________________Name of Electric Cooperative

Who is eligible?The Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association Scholarship Trust Fund in Mem-

ory of William F. Matson is offering scholarships to sons and daughters of membersand employees of electric cooperatives in Pennsylvania and New Jersey who belongto the Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association. Applicants must currently be highschool seniors and be able to furnish necessary aptitude test scores and financialneed information. At least five $1,000, one-time scholarships will be awarded.

Important dates to rememberAll applications and required information must be received no later than

May 12, 2014. Finalists will be sent a follow-up questionnaire that must bereturned by June 2, 2014. Scholarship awards will be announced at the Penn-sylvania Rural Electric Association Summer Meeting in July 2014.

How to applyTo receive an application, simply fill out and mail the accompanying

coupon or contact your local electric cooperative office. If you would like toreceive the application via email, please include your email address or visitour website,www.prea.com, for more information.

Applicant:To request a scholarship application, mail coupon to:

The Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association Scholarship Trust Fund in Memory of William F. MatsonP. O. Box 1266Harrisburg, Pa. 17108-1266

Attention Past Rural Electric Youth Tour StudentsAt least two $1,000 scholarships in memory of Jody Loudenslager are available through the Pennsylvania Rural Electric

Association Scholarship Trust Fund in Memory of William F. Matson for the 2014-15 college year.

fill out and mail this coupon

___________________________________________________________Name

___________________________________________________________Address

___________________________________________________________City

___________________________________________________________State Zip

___________________________________________________________Email address

___________________________________________________________Name of your electric cooperative

___________________________________________________________Year on Youth Tour

Who is eligible?The scholarship is available to any college-bound or college student who

participated in the Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association (PREA) YouthTour. Applicants need to furnish necessary aptitude test scores, GPA andfinancial need information.

Dates to rememberAll applications and required information must be received no later than

May 12, 2014. Finalists will be sent a follow-up questionnaire that must bereturned by June 2, 2014. Scholarship awards will be announced at the PREASummer Meeting in July 2014.

How to applyTo receive an application, simply fill out and mail the accompanying coupon

to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA17108-1266. If you would like to receive the application via email, please includeyour email address or visit our website, www.prea.com, for more information.

Jody Loudenslager, a 1995 Pennsylvania RuralElectric Association Youth Tour student fromTrout Run, Pa., was among the 230 passengerskilled July 17, 1996, when TWA Flight 800exploded shortly after take-off from New York.Since Jody was committed to higher education,the scholarship was created to honor her and helpYouth Tour participants with college costs.

Page 26: Penn Lines January 2014

26 P E N N L I N E S • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4

Nicole GriffithIsaac GriffithREA Energy

RURALreflections

HUNDREDS of Penn Lines readers sub-mitted photos for the 2013 Rural Reflec-tions contest, and a panel of independentjudges selected the year’s favorite photos.Each of the winners in the categories ofmost artistic, best landscape, best humansubject, best animal subject and editor’schoice will receive a $75 prize, but all of thereaders who submitted photos during thepast year deserve our thanks.

Next month, Penn Lines will publish thejudges’ other favorite shots from 2013. InMarch, we’ll begin publishing our 2014photos, so start sending us your springphotos now.

To be eligible for the 2014 contestprizes, send your snapshots (no profes-sional photos, please) to: Penn Lines Pho-tos, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg PA 17108-1266. On the back of each photo, includeyour name, address, phone number andthe name of the electric cooperative thatserves your home, business or seasonalresidence. (The best way to include thisinformation is by affixing an address labelto the back of the photo. Please do not useink gel or roller pens to write on the photoas they bleed onto other photos.)

Remember, our publication deadlinesrequire that we work ahead, so send yourseasonal photos in early. We need springphotos before mid-February; summer pho-tos before mid-May; fall photos beforemid-July and winter photos before mid-September.

Again, thank you for participating inthe 2013 “Rural Reflections” contest andcongratulations to our winners. Pleasenote: 2013 photos that were accompaniedby self-addressed, stamped envelopes willbe returned in late January. l

Congratulations toour 2013 winners

Mary ThallNorthwestern REC

BESTHUMANSUBJECT

EDITOR’SCHOICE

Page 27: Penn Lines January 2014

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 27

Carolyn BledsoeAdams EC

BESTLANDSCAPE

Wes StoltzfusTri-County REC

Andrew MishockValley REC

MOSTARTISTIC

BESTANIMAL

Page 28: Penn Lines January 2014

TOGETHERWESAVE.COM

I’M HELPING MY ENERGY STAR® TV REALLY SHINE.

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Page 29: Penn Lines January 2014

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 4 • P E N N L I N E S 29

Thoughts from Earl Pitts,UHMERIKUN!

PUNCHlines

Social commentary from Earl Pitts —— a.k.a.GARY BUR BANK , a nation ally syndicatedradio per son ality —— can be heard on thefollowing radio stations that cover electriccooperative service territories in Pennsylvania:WANB-FM 103.1 Pittsburgh; WARM-AM 590Wilkes-Barre/Scran ton; WIOO-AM 1000 Carlisle;WEEO-AM 1480 Shippensburg; WMTZ-FM 96.5Johnstown; WQBR-FM 99.9/92.7 McElhattan;WLMI-FM 103.9 Kane; and WVNW-FM 96.7 Burnham-Lewistown.

Guys like to bragabout how far they candrive on empty

I did a commentary a ways back ‘boutthings guys like to brag about. And I saidone a’ the biggest things guys like to bragabout is how fast we can get somewhere.Some guy down at the Duck Inn says hecan drive to Mudd Lake in a hour an’ ahalf. Some other guy will say he drove itin a hour. An’ before you know it, some-body is claimin’ they got there so fast theonly way they could’a done it is with a jetcar an’ a dry salt bed.

So anyways — here’s another thingguys like to brag about. And between youand me, I don’t even get this one. Theylike to brag how far they can get after thegas needle is on “E.”

Like me an’ the Meeker boys was dri-vin’ out in Dub’s truck to go huntin’recently. An’ this is way out, about a hourpast Mudd Lake. We’re talkin’ out inGod’s country.

An’ I says to ol’ Dub, “Dubster, youbetter put some gas in this old beast. Thissucker is just about on ‘E.’”

He looks at me an’ rolls his eyes.He says, “Earl, when my gauge hits

empty, I can drive another 70 miles!”I says, “Dub, you know where we’re

goin’ huntin’, right? We goin’ about as farinto the wilderness as you can get withoutfindin’ Survivorman. Get some gas, myfriend.”

An’ then ol’ Junior pipes up. He saysthe gas gauge on his truck don’t evenwork. He says his needle has been stuckon a quarter-tank for five years. He saysthat never scared him.

My only question is, “How do youknow when you need gas?”

He looks at me real funny an’ goes, “Itstops running.”

Wake up, America. Yeah, just behappy this idiot wasn’t accepted in pilotschool. He’d be up at 30,000 feet tryin’ toconvince passengers they got enough fuelto get across another two states.

Me an’Earl Junior was in the livin’room last night, jist flippin’ between 14different games on 14 different sportschannels. Because that’s what men do. Allof a sudden, my better half, Pearl, come in

there, grabs the remote out of my hand,flips off the TV and stares at us.

I said, “Woman, the house better be onfire, or an alien had better landed in thebackyard.”

Then she goes, “Boys, we’re gonnahave a family fun night.”

An’ I go, “Excuse me, but we just were.Until you come in here.”

Her response was, “Earl, THIS isgonna be family game night. One night aweek, all families is supposed to turn offthe TV an’ play games together. It’s sup-posed to bring us closer together.”

Of course, our family is like mostAmerican families. The thing that mostkeeps us together is stayin’ apart. ‘Causewe know if we was to get too close, we’dkill each other. Every time when somebrain-dead, clueless nitwit mows downhis family, there in the back of my head, Iwonder if they was havin’ a family gamenight.

She holds up a Scrabble box, an’ shegoes, “Does anybody wanna play Scrabble?”

An’ Earl Junior says, “I can’t spell,Mama.”

I got to second the boy on that. I figgerhe’ll never lead a life a crime ‘cause hecouldn’t write a hold-up note or a ransomdemand.

So she holds up another box, an’ shegoes, “Does anybody wanna play Pic-tionary?”

And Earl Junior goes, “I can’t draw,Mama.”

I got to second the boy on that. I haveseen the boy draw stick figures that a 4-year-old looked at, an’ then rolled his eyes.

An’ I stopped my better half before shecould move to the game that was behinddoor number three.

I says, “Pearl, if you truly wanna havefamily fun night, the next box you pull outbetter have a pizza in it.”

Wake up, America! We did orderpizza. We did have a family fun night. Mean’ Earl Junior watchin’ the games, an’Pearl playin’ solitaire. We had so muchfun, we might even do it again next week.

I’m Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun.l

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Page 30: Penn Lines January 2014

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Page 32: Penn Lines January 2014

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