Peer Review: Paper 3

3.21.12

ELI Review

For the most part this Review is the same:

You will be in groups of 4

You will have to make 3-4 comments per paper

How it is different:

I will be endorsing comments (instead of instructor copy)

You will be graded on your comments (10 points)

Grading your comments

Because I will be grading your comments here is a refresher on what I am looking for

MAPS/Good Comments

Identify/Evaluate/Explain

Need work identifying

“very good story and explanation of how you discovered life guarding literacy”

This comment could benefit from location in the text and explanation, for example: Very good story and explanation of how you discovered life guarding in the introduction. I especially liked the example you used about…

MAPS/Good Comments

Evaluating

I saw a lot of evaluating, people were good at giving their opinion, but explaining will help even more.

I liked the fact that you used stories, but you need to explain the literacy of football better throughout the paper. Try and tie in the literacy into each paragraph.

MAPS/Good Comments

Explaining

This is a large area of need for everyone. Be clear about why you are making suggestions.

you go into lots of detail about the game, like how to move, special stuff that most of us wouldn't really get if we hadn't played, try to focus more on how the xbox 360 opened you to the rest of the community more than just talking about the mechanics of the game

Also in the first paragraph, you bring up the concept of exercising being a mental activity. Perhaps it would be beneficial for you to explain in a paragraph about what you personally experienced. Where there times it was difficult? Did you ever think you couldn't do a particular activity?

Examples

If you put:

“I really like your introduction”

You will not get very many points.

Examples

If you put instead:

I really like your introduction. The way you set up your argument makes it clear that your audience is students.

You will get a good amount of points.

Examples

If you put:

I really like your introduction. The way you set up your argument makes it clear that your audience is students. Though I think your second and fourth paragraphs need to focus more on that audience.

You will get all the points. (do this)

Areas to spend time

You don’t have to say everything about your topic

You should have an argument or purpose

There should research

Organization is big