PEERS & FRIENDS

Q OF THE DAYThink of your most memorable

moment with a friend/friends and write about it. What made it special, memorable, fun, serious, etc.

JOURNAL What are qualities you want in a good

friend? (Ex: caring, trustworthy, someone

who listens, someone with good advice, etc.)

Write down as many things as you can

6 MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS

Everyone = 91-93 (top of) 1 = What’s at your center? 2 = It’s all about popular 3 = Queen Bees, Wanna Bees, Gamma Girls 4 = Quirks, Faults, and Foibles 5 = Mean Girls, Gossips, and bullies 6 = Crabs and Competition 7 = How come you don’t kick with us no

more?

WHAT’S AT YOUR CENTER?! Are Friends at your center? ANY PROBLEMS…?

Friends are imperfect, unstable, and human They move They change

What SHOULD be at our center? PRINCIPLES

Honesty…Respect…Responsibility Principles never fail Principles are MAGNETIC!

POPULAR: DARK VS LIGHT SIDE

Dark Side Stuck up, snotty,

think you’re better than others

Light Side people that are well

liked and respected because they are genuine decent people (PRINCIPLE CENTERED )

QUEEN BEE, WANNA BEE AND GAMMA GIRL

Queen bee: popularity means everything. Protect clique at all cost and will boot anyone out who tries to threaten their reign.

Wanna bee: Those who do whatever it takes to get in with the Queen Bee.

Gamma Girl/Boy: kids who may not be known as “popular” but they are comfortable with who they are, they like their parents, are smart, and are kind!

QUIRKS, FAULTS AND FOIBLES

Just like you, your friends are trying to figure out who they are and what the purpose of life is….

There is a time to forgive and a time to draw the line….

MEAN GIRLS, GOSSIP, & BULLIES

Gossip we can do things about… Confront it….(I-message ) Live above it. Ignore it and move on

TREAT EACH OTHERS REPUTATIONS WITH CARE!

LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN WHEN YOU FIND THEM

CRABS & COMPETITION Crabs?? …..

Friends pulling you down?

Compare clothes, looks, abilities and compete

Think WIN/WIN I want to win and you

can win too

HOW COME DON’T YOU KICK WITH US ANYMORE?

Friends change…and that’s okay.

Big difference between abandoning your friends and developing new friends because your interests change.

Don’t get upset if your naturally start drifting apart because your interests take you in different directions

QUICK REVIEW!! BE the type of friend you WANT in others!

Be PRINCIPLE centered friend MAGNET!!!

We all should want to be POPULAR.

But HOW do we make NEW friends? Care about them Ask questions Be PRINCIPLE centered

FRIEND MAKING SKILLS You will develop many kinds of friendships

throughout your life. Some will be more important to you than others

Common attributes of Friends Similar values, interests, beliefs and attitudes Share joy/disappointment/dreams and concerns Respect, care and support Concern for each others safety

THE NEWLY FRIEND GAME!

Pairings….

Cake/cookie stomach/ache salt/pepper

Ebony/ivorychocolate/chip nurse/DR String/cheese Reeses/pieces night/day Ice/cream dog/cat early/late Bread/jam loose/tooth Black/white hubba/bubba Peanut/butter straw/berry

MAKING & BEING A FRIEND

Be slow to judge YOU make the effort Build the RBA Be Inclusive Treat Unkindness

with kindness Lift others

“You can’t make people like you, but you can always make yourself more likable.” **Covey

6 WAYS TO BE MORE LIKEABLE Dale Carnegie

1. Become genuinely interested in other people

2. SMILE!!! 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that

person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener5. Encourage others to talk about

themselves. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

6. Make the other person feel important And do it sincerely

It takes a great deal of COURAGE to stand up to your ENEMIES,

but a great deal more to stand up to your

FRIENDS.

PEER PRESSURE When you feel pressured by people in your

age group to act a certain way.

Positive PP: when your friends expect good things from you

Negative PP: when your friends persuade you to conform or do something you don’t want to do

Remember your life centered on PRINCIPLES…not FRIENDS

NEGATIVE PEER PRESSURE

Harassment: Persistently annoying others

Manipulation:indirect, dishonest way to control or influence other people

PEER PRESSURE SHIELD

ASSERTIVE REFUSAL SKILLS State Your Position:

NO, firmly and simply

Suggest Alternatives: Suggest another activity

Stand Your Ground: Make it clear you meant what you said Remove yourself from the situation

JOURNAL Think of a time when you were pressured.

Who pressured you? What activity/behavior were you being pressured

to do? What arguments did the person/people

pressuring you use? How did you respond? If you tried to resist, what

did you say or do? What might you say or do in the future to resist

peer pressure?

4 RED FLAGS You may want to suggest a new group

of friends if…. You have to change your clothes, language,

friends, or standards in order to keep your friends.

You’re doing stuff you don’t feel good about, like stealing, fighting, or doing drugs.

You feel like you’re being used

Your life feels out of control