Partner Abuse Intervention
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Transcript of Partner Abuse Intervention
Crossroads Counseling of Chicago 1
Partner Abuse Intervention
Rob Johnson, MA, LCPC27 N Wacker Drive, #245Chicago, IL 60606
312-316-3366
rjohnson@crossroadscounselingchicago.comwww.crossroadscounselingchicago.com
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Self Introduction
• Rob Johnson, MA, LCPC– 30 year career in computer technology• IBM, Chicago Mercantile Exchange
– 20 years of experience working with men in the area of transformation and personal growth
– Masters in Professional Counseling, 2006– Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Illinois– Specialize in Partner Abuse Intervention and
Personal Leadership Development
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Definitions
• Domestic – Of the home or family
• Violence– Any attempt that I make to force my will on you– Takes many forms
• Partner– Anyone that I have been intimate (sexual) with– Excludes parents, siblings, children, roommates, …
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The Duluth Model• Partner abuse is a pattern of actions used to intentionally
control or dominate an intimate partner (cycle of violence) • The victim is not to blame• Offenders are held accountable• The voices of the victims take priority• Intervention programs are offered to offenders• Treatment comprises an integrated response among
legislative, judicial, criminal and civil justice agencies, health care, community members, victims, etc.
• Societal conditions that support men’s use of tactics of power and control over women must change
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Cycle of Violence1. Seduction/Honeymoon2. Disenchantment 3. Discord
4. Violent break (Police intervention)
5. False apology
6. Return to step 1
• You’re the one• You’re not the one• Escalating arguments,
verbal/emotional abuse• Physical/sexual abuse,
property destruction• Reset to before violence,
forget this ever happened
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Goals of Intervention
• Stop the violence– Not couple’s or pastoral counseling
• Help offenders become conscious of how they abuse in intimate relationships
• Help offenders learn and adopt alternatives to coercive, controlling, and violent behavior in intimate relationships
• Help to create a culture of deterrence
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Intervention Philosophy
• Guiding Principles– Violence is a learned behavior and therefore it can be
“unlearned”– Alternative, non-violent behaviors can be learned
• Cognitive-Behavioral Training – Cognitive: I become conscious of how I am violent– Behavioral: I learn non-violent and respectful ways to get
my needs met• Intervention– A transformational experience is necessary
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Cognitive: Violence Beliefs
• We are not equal• You must respect me• I decide what is right, what is best for you (the
children, etc.)• I can do whatever I please and you have no
right to object• I am justified in using Power and Control over
you to get my way
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Cognitive: Equality Beliefs
• We are equal in all ways– I have empathy for you
• I respect you and I respect myself• I do not decide what is right for you• How I live my life impacts you• The use of Power and Control to get my way is
abuse
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Behavioral: Words vs. Actions
• My behavior, not my words, reveal my true beliefs– My boundaries are established to control you
I “defend” myself by overpowering you– I have no empathy for you– I know best how to parent "my" children– I cannot let you get away with "disrespecting" me– If you don't see things my way, you are "crazy“– I cannot allow you to have your way because you
would become "spoiled".
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Initial View of the World
• Male Privilege– Role model definitions– Social support for male privilege– The great male conspiracy
• Defense Mechanisms– Minimize, Deny, Blame, Deflect, etc.
• The Drama Triangle– Stephen Karpman, 1967 paper– Transaction Analysis (Eric Berne)
• The Games People Play
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You are the cause of my problems: The solution to my problem is for you to change. I am, therefore, justified in forcing my will on you.
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Forms of Masculinity
• Immature– Life-taking– Violent, destructive– Exploitative, selfish, uncaring
• Mature– Life-giving– Protective, constructive– Generative, blessing
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Intervention: A Rite of Passage
• InitiationDescent
Ordeal
Return
• I leave my comfort zone. I am no longer in control of my life.
• I am required to look deep within myself and take responsibility for how I live my life (face the dragon)
• I return to my world but I have been transformed by my experience from immature to mature masculinity.
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Ordeal: Facing the Dragon
• Classroom training is insufficient to bring about transformation
• The consequences of not facing the dragon must be sufficiently unpleasant in order for transformation to occur
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The Crucible
• Mandatory participation in intervention programs is essential– Transformation/Change
only occurs when enough heat can be applied
– A “pot” is necessary• Accountability provides
the heat
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Accountability
• Taking responsibility for my actions and all consequences, intended or not– Those who do not express their accountability are
not accepted into the program during intake– Those who later deny responsibility, advocate
violence, or re-offend are discharged from the program
• A possible consequence of not being accepted or of being discharged is incarceration
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Program Accountability
• Take full responsibility for abuse• Understand Power and Control• Understand Equality• Demonstrate understanding through group
participation• Use respectful language in referring to women• Pay fees, attend regularly, complete written
assignments successfully
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Cycle of Healing
1. Breaking through defense mechanisms– Minimize, deny, blame, deflect, etc.
2. Accepting accountability– Facing shame, embracing reality
3. Willingness to change– Claiming power over myself to change– The Drama-less Triangle
4. Stumbling (return to step 1, 2)5. Bearing witness/advocating for change
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I take responsibility for my own problems: The solution to my problem is for me to change. I have no need to force my will on you.
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Desired Outcome
• Intimate Partnerships based on– Equality– Mutual Respect– Empathy– Fairness
• Advocates for change– Pass the gift forward