JACK AND GILL IN 2008

COMPOSED BY DAVE HAMBIDGE

PART THIRTEEN

LIVERPOOL LOU IN SERIOUS TROUBLE

The smashing picture of the Preseli Hills in Wales is by ceridwen who can be found at

http://www.geograph.org.uk/profile/6699

with the full picky used on wiki athttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Preseli.jpg

One day while he was skiving off from work,With his van hidden behind a rural kirk, (Scottish for Church, getting a bit desperate I know!)

Jack was slumbering across the front seat,His boots were off but clothes otherwise neat.His mopho chirped with a text from Gill,“Quick, come to the shop, there’s a problem with Lil.”As he drove back to town, taking great careHe pondered what ailed the pseudo-Celtic mare?

Leicester Lil may have cured Jack neckBut was still a strange creature, and ruddy heck

Why did she and Liverpool LouWith whom she was besotted, that was true,

Pretend to be Celtic and speak in Jock?Jack knew they’d both had a terrible shockWhich had changed and altered their livesAnd moved them to T’Both from St. Ives.

But even allowing for all of that,And their predilection for walking the cat,Lil and Lou were an erratic pairProne to exchanging their underwear.Jack parked up his van and walked to Gill’s shopHoping the trip wouldn’t be a big flop.Gill and Lil were not in the storeBut sitting outside of the big rear door.

“Hello you two and what can I do?”“Jack,” blurted Lil, “it’s a problem with Lou!I’m very afraid that he murdered a manWhilst we were on holiday in a caravan.”“Do what?” said Jack “Lou as a killer?He’s a placid as Windy The Miller!”(Windy was the star of a 1960’s UK children’s TV series called Camberwick Green

Richard Evans @www.T-web.co.uk)

“But listen to her Jack!” said a scowling Gill“And tell us your thoughts, if you will?” (Huff and sniff)

“You know that when we came to The Bottom of The HillLou and I had both been very ill.I’d been raped and Lou’d been stabbedBy the same man who later was grabbedBy the police for another crimeWhich he claimed to have done at the same time.He was sent down for the other offenceAfter clever pleading by his legal defence.

Well, whilst on holiday in CarradaleLou knew that he saw this maleStanding and fishing off the pier.

He didn’t have to get too nearBut used the telescope to checkAnd recognised the mole on his neck.Lou got very upset and downAnd spent the day with a heavy frown.

That night Lou went out for a walkI’d rather hoped we could have a talk.

He stayed out till morningAnd came in yawningDishevelled and damp

Carrying a lamp.Lou went to bed and slept till lunch

Something had happened, I had a hunch.

When I asked Lou later that dayAll that I could get him to say

Was that he felt much betterAfter writing a long letter

Which he sealed in a jarAnd threw very far

Out to sea to cleanse his soulAnd now he fancied chips and sole!”

“Ok,” said Jack, “so what from that storyMakes you leap to such a goryConclusion that Lou killed a man?”“Well let me finish, I know I can.On the tele news last nightI had a big surprise, all right,A picture of the man from the pierWho it seems had disappeared.

Whilst we were on our holidayBut whose body was found in a bayOn the south of the Mull, near Macharioch,Splattered all over the cliff and rock.

I’ve been awake for half the nightBut now I know that I am right.The dead man is our one from St. IvesWho is no more ‘cos Lou took his life!”

Gill and Jack both remained silent and satAs Lil stubbed her ciggy out on the mat.What they had heard sort of made senseBut the implications were quite immense!Could Lou really have killed the chap?Jack understood why Gill was all in a flap.After pondering the options, which were sparseJack decided this was not a farce.

“Lil, my dear, you must make a decisionConfront Lou and risk his derision?”

“I agree,” said Gill, “but whatever his answer,Will you be able to live with him after?”

Lil went quiet and lit up a fag,“That’s a good question, what a drag!”

The three sat quietly in the sunBehaving as if it was all fun!

Lil finished her smoke and then had a teaWhilst Jack went in and had a pee!As he came out, Gill had a smile

The first Jack had seen in quite a while.“Lil has gone home to The Bottom of The Hill.

After our chat, I don’t think that she willConfront Lou about their dead man

And I’m not sure that she can?”

“Exactly,” said Jack, “what does it serve?Even if she conjured the nerveTo demand that Lou reveal the factHow would he than have to react?Confess to the police? To achieve what?The dead geezer deserved what he got!”“Good,” said Gill, “I’m glad you helped Lil.Now, a light bulb needs changing over the till!”