Parenting Tips at the Horse Show (Waite)
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Transcript of Parenting Tips at the Horse Show (Waite)
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My Horse University and eXtension’s HorseQuest welcome you to this live Webcast.
Tips for Horse Show Parents
Karen L. Waite, M.S.Michigan State University
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Meet our presenter:
Karen L. Waite, M.S.Michigan State University
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Introduction• Why discuss this topic?
• Why youth participate in showing horses
• What parents can do to help
• How 4-H leaders, coaches and trainers can help
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Why Discuss This Topic?
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Why Youth Show Horses• Young people get involved in sports because they are
fun…and stop participating when they stop being fun. (Weiss, 2004)
• Parents are a critical piece of the “horse show team.”
• Parents play an important role in whether showing horses is fun. (or not)
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How Can Parents Help?• Keep fun a factor!
• “When it stops being fun, we stop showing horses.”
• Planning for “fun.”
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Dealing With Anger• Take deep breaths
– Inhale 4 seconds, exhale 8 seconds
• Suck on a lollipop• Repeat a calm word or
phrase or visualize relaxation
• Replace angry thoughts with rational ones
• Count to 10 before speaking
• Ask the child how they felt they did, rather than asking about mistakes or why they didn’t win
• Praise effort first, then consider commenting on results– Goldstein, 2008
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Provide Support for the Child
• Unconditional encouragement and support
• Physical presence at horse shows
• Interest in child’s efforts regardless of outcome
• Talking up the child’s efforts to others. (notice: efforts, not outcomes!)
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Don’t Push TOO Much…• Pressures on parents can be
great– Financial– Time
• Excessive pushing to practice, take lessons and win can detract from fun for some children
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But Learn Optimal Push!
• For some youth, a slight push may actually enhance enjoyment and may be needed.
• Fine line between positive and negative push for child AND horse!
• Knowing how much is enough for horse and rider can be a delicate balancing act.
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BE the Parent.
• Not the coach or horse trainer
• Even when the parent has credibility as a coach or trainer, the child needs unconditional support from someone.
• Should be agreed to by parent and child, or assistance from someone else may be helpful.
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Respect Officials and Show Management
• Judges are typically well trained and competent in multiple events
• Judges must look at every exhibitor in the pen, parents typically do not
• Disrespect for officials and show management models poor sportsmanship
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Recognize Signs of Burnout in Children
• Avoidance of training sessions and the barn • Lack of effort at lessons or shows • Lackadaisical attitude• irritability around barn• crying spells• impatience with horse• Battles of will– Sasson-Edgette, 1996
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Recognize Signs of Burnout in the Horse• Tail wringing, ear pinning
• Back or leg soreness
• Refusals
• Depression or general appearance of overall tiredness, rough hair coat etc.
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Recognize Signs of Stress in Family
• Everyone is irritable and no one is talking
• Child does not want family members at shows
• Sense of dread around horse shows
• Worries about time and money– Sasson-Edgette, 1996
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What to Do?• Be observant
• Encourage conversation
• Insist on good manners no matter what
• Consider the horse
• Do something different for horse, rider and family as needed.
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Keeping the Competitors Mentally and Physically Ready
• Drinking plenty of water
• Eating appropriately– Pack healthy lunches and snacks
• Sleeping
• Practicing at regular and appropriate intervals
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Keeping the Competitors Mentally and Physically Ready
• Time to play with friends/socialize
• Clothing and equipment
• Sense of humor!!!
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Goal Setting
• Help children set realistic goals
• Use the SMART Goal setting system
• Review goals periodically at an appropriate time.
• Set new goals if old ones are met.
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SMART Goal Setting• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Realistic and Relevant to the child
• Time Sensitive
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Other Ideas
• Developing and using a “riding resource room” Sasson-Edgette, 1996
• Lucky dance (or song)
• Rituals or symbols
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Give us your feedback!
• You will receive a survey by email in 1-2 days. Please take a few minutes to give us your feedback on this webcast. It will help us to better serve you!
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Upcoming Webcasts
• Our FREE monthly webcasts will return in September! Check back with us for our fall lineup!
• Use the summer to catch up on any webcasts you may have missed - recorded webcasts are available on our website!
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Thank you for attending this live web presentation!
For more information about My Horse University please visit us at:
www.myhorseuniversity.com
[email protected] | www.myhorseuniversity.com | 517-353-3123