Parental Discipline: Sorting out the Mixed Messages

Parental Parental Discipline: Sorting Discipline: Sorting

out the Mixed out the Mixed MessagesMessages

Bob LarzelereBob LarzelereHuman Devel. & Family Human Devel. & Family

ScienceScienceOklahoma State UniversityOklahoma State University

December 1, 2009December 1, 2009

OutlineOutline

Historical Pendulum SwingHistorical Pendulum Swing Developmental vs. Behavioral ViewsDevelopmental vs. Behavioral Views Putting views togetherPutting views together Effective vs. Detrimental Effective vs. Detrimental

Disciplinary Enforcements Disciplinary Enforcements Implications for Parent EducatorsImplications for Parent Educators

Historical Pendulum Historical Pendulum SwingSwing

Watson (’28) Maternal love is Watson (’28) Maternal love is dangerous.dangerous. No hugs or kisses or sitting in your lapNo hugs or kisses or sitting in your lap Rapid self-care: toilet training begins at 3-5 Rapid self-care: toilet training begins at 3-5

weeks, strap to toilet at 8 months.weeks, strap to toilet at 8 months. Spock (’46-) Restored balance of love Spock (’46-) Restored balance of love

and limitsand limits ““Trust yourself” – first words to parentsTrust yourself” – first words to parents Moderate strictness or Moderate strictness or

permissiveness OK for loving permissiveness OK for loving parents – extremes are detrimentalparents – extremes are detrimental

Historical Pendulum Historical Pendulum SwingSwing

TodayToday Mixed messages? Forehand & Mixed messages? Forehand &

McKinney (’93)McKinney (’93) Trust experts, not yourself or your Trust experts, not yourself or your

parentsparents Permissiveness, maybe with mild Permissiveness, maybe with mild

consequencesconsequences What pendulum point is optimal?What pendulum point is optimal?

Child Developmental vs. Child Developmental vs. Behavioral Tx (vs. Behavioral Tx (vs.

Traditional)Traditional) Complementary (Child Dev. vs. Beh Tx)Complementary (Child Dev. vs. Beh Tx)

Children studiedChildren studied FoundationsFoundations GoalsGoals Proactive disciplineProactive discipline

Contradictory disciplinary responsesContradictory disciplinary responses Reasoning Reasoning Child Devel. Child Devel. Time out Time out Behav. Parent Training Behav. Parent Training Spanking Spanking Traditional Traditional

Child Developmental Child Developmental ViewView

Children studiedChildren studied NonclinicalNonclinical FoundationsFoundations Attachment, sensitivityAttachment, sensitivity GoalsGoals Moral internalizationMoral internalization Proactive stepsProactive steps Modeling, Modeling,

coachingcoaching Response tacticResponse tactic Reasoning, minimal Reasoning, minimal

power assertionpower assertion

Behavioral Parent Training Behavioral Parent Training ViewView

Children studiedChildren studied Clinically defiantClinically defiant FoundationsFoundations Positive reinforcementPositive reinforcement GoalsGoals Reduce disruptive Reduce disruptive

behaviorbehavior Proactive stepsProactive steps Clear commands, Clear commands,

a few targeted a few targeted behaviorsbehaviors

Response tacticsResponse tactics Time out, Time out, privilege privilege removal, little reasoningremoval, little reasoning

Parenting Programs Parenting Programs Often Focus on One or Often Focus on One or

the Otherthe Other Good communication is keyGood communication is key

Parent Effectiveness Training – GordonParent Effectiveness Training – Gordon Consistent consequences are the keyConsistent consequences are the key

1-2-3 Magic -- Phelan 1-2-3 Magic -- Phelan

Putting Pieces TogetherPutting Pieces Together

Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Love & limits Love & limits Reasoning & consequencesReasoning & consequences

Key #2: Sequence of disciplinary tacticsKey #2: Sequence of disciplinary tactics Matching tactic to misbehaviorMatching tactic to misbehavior Matching tactic to underlying motivationMatching tactic to underlying motivation More forceful tactics should More forceful tactics should enhance enhance milder milder

tacticstactics Mildest tactic that is effective for situationMildest tactic that is effective for situation

Key #1: Authoritative Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Love and Parenting: Love and

LimitsLimits Combines both perspectivesCombines both perspectives Love & firm controlLove & firm control Reasoning & negative consequencesReasoning & negative consequences Consistently optimal outcomesConsistently optimal outcomes

Parenting Styles: Parenting Styles: PrototypesPrototypes

High Control

Low Control

HighWarmth

LowWarmth

AuthoritativeAuthoritarian

PermissiveDisengaged

Eight Parenting StylesEight Parenting StylesHigh Control

Low Control

HighWarmth

LowWarmth

AuthoritativeAuthoritarian

Permissive

Rejecting

Directive

Neglecting

DemocraticGood

Enough

Outcomes of Outcomes of Authoritative ParentingAuthoritative Parenting

Does authoritative parenting have Does authoritative parenting have long-term beneficial outcomes? long-term beneficial outcomes?

Short answer: Yes, esp. vs. extremesShort answer: Yes, esp. vs. extremes Much better outcomes than Much better outcomes than

authoritariansauthoritarians Better outcomes than permissiveBetter outcomes than permissive Similar outcomes to parenting styles Similar outcomes to parenting styles

that are not low on either warmth or that are not low on either warmth or controlcontrol

Competency Outcomes Competency Outcomes (at Age 14, 10 years (at Age 14, 10 years

later)later) General Competence FactorGeneral Competence Factor IndividuatedIndividuated: interesting, arresting : interesting, arresting

personality; sense of identity; articulatepersonality; sense of identity; articulate Projects Self-ConfidenceProjects Self-Confidence: self-: self-

respect, confidence with parents, respect, confidence with parents, cognitive confidencecognitive confidence

Cognitive CompetenceCognitive Competence (Cognitively (Cognitively Motivated + Achievement Oriented)Motivated + Achievement Oriented)

Communal CompetenceCommunal Competence ( (Self Self Regulated +Regulated + Socially ResponsibleSocially Responsible))

Problem Outcomes (Age Problem Outcomes (Age 14)14)

Externalizing ProblemsExternalizing Problems: : dangerous exploits, delinquent dangerous exploits, delinquent behavior, dropout lifestylebehavior, dropout lifestyle

Internalizing ProblemsInternalizing Problems: self-: self-pitying, excessive worrying, feels pitying, excessive worrying, feels worthlessworthless

Mean Teen Competency T-Scores by Parenting Style at Age 4

40 45 50 55 60

AuthoritativeDemocratic

DirectiveAuthoritarianGood Enough

PermissiveNeglecting

Rejecting

T-Score (M=50, sd=10)

Mean Teen Problem T-Scores by Parenting Style at Age 4

40 45 50 55 60

AuthoritativeDemocratic

DirectiveAuthoritarianGood Enough

PermissiveNeglecting

Rejecting

T-Score (M=50, sd=10)

Integration Key #2: Integration Key #2: Sequencing Disciplinary Sequencing Disciplinary

TacticsTactics

Maintenance Region ofOptimal Child Behavior

Initial Control Attempts


2nd Level Control Attempts


3rd Level Control Attempts


Time

UpperLimitControls

LowerLimitControls

Bell’s Control System Bell’s Control System ModelModel

OngoingChild Behavior








Time


UpperLimitControls

LowerLimitControls

Disruptive Child Disruptive Child BehaviorBehavior





Time

UpperLimitControls

Roles of Behavioral and Roles of Behavioral and Developmental EmphasesDevelopmental Emphases


Behavioral ParentTraining

Developmental Psychology

Upper Limit Control Levels Upper Limit Control Levels (e.g.’s)(e.g.’s)

Initial level Initial level Verbal -- correction, reasoning, negotiationVerbal -- correction, reasoning, negotiation

22ndnd level level Mild to moderate power assertion – Mild to moderate power assertion –

privilege removal, restraint, redirecting, privilege removal, restraint, redirecting, time out, yellingtime out, yelling

33rdrd level level last resort (e.g., for time out)– restraint, last resort (e.g., for time out)– restraint,

spanking, brief forced isolation, job chores, spanking, brief forced isolation, job chores, grounding grounding

Sequencing as one key to Sequencing as one key to putting pieces togetherputting pieces together

Goals: from Child Developmental ViewGoals: from Child Developmental View Child behavior to stay in tolerable rangeChild behavior to stay in tolerable range Rely on verbal correction (e.g., reasoning) as Rely on verbal correction (e.g., reasoning) as

much as possible (if effective)much as possible (if effective) Authoritative parents: verbal persuasion, give-and-Authoritative parents: verbal persuasion, give-and-

taketake

Methods: from Behav Parent Training viewMethods: from Behav Parent Training view Nonphysical conseq’s necessary when reasoning Nonphysical conseq’s necessary when reasoning

is ineffective (esp. when children are defiant)is ineffective (esp. when children are defiant) Can enforce reasoning in 2- and 3-year-oldsCan enforce reasoning in 2- and 3-year-olds

70

75

80

85

90

95

34 Months 54 Months

Age

Mis

beh

avio

rMisbehavior Trends for High Use of Misbehavior Trends for High Use of

Disciplinary Reasoning (preschoolers)Disciplinary Reasoning (preschoolers)

Rarely Backed Up (0% to 9%)

Backed Up Periodically (10%+)

with Negative Consequences

Average Trend Overall

Source: Larzelere et al. (1998). J Marr Fam, 60, 388-403.

Sequencing as keySequencing as key

Shows only beneficial use of spankingShows only beneficial use of spanking To back-up time outTo back-up time out When 2- to 6-year-olds are defiantWhen 2- to 6-year-olds are defiant Only one back-up equally effectiveOnly one back-up equally effective

Forced brief room isolationForced brief room isolation

More forceful tactics enforce More forceful tactics enforce cooperation with milder tacticscooperation with milder tactics Forceful back-up tactics can then be Forceful back-up tactics can then be

droppeddropped

Foundations for Effective Foundations for Effective Firm ControlFirm Control

1. Supportive nurturance1. Supportive nurturance 2. Enhancing desired behaviors2. Enhancing desired behaviors 3. Decreasing misbehaviors3. Decreasing misbehaviors

Skills at #1 & #2 help with #3 in two Skills at #1 & #2 help with #3 in two ways:ways: a. Less misbehaviora. Less misbehavior b. Child more responsive to corrective b. Child more responsive to corrective

disciplinediscipline

Foundations for Effective Foundations for Effective Firm ControlFirm Control

Positive reinforcementPositive reinforcement Clear expectations and Clear expectations and

communicationcommunication Age-appropriate expectationsAge-appropriate expectations

Effective Disciplinary Effective Disciplinary EnforcementEnforcement

Age-appropriate maturity demandsAge-appropriate maturity demands Regular structure and routineRegular structure and routine Age-appropriate choresAge-appropriate chores

Confront misbehavior directly but calmlyConfront misbehavior directly but calmly Prefer verbal correction & brief reasoningPrefer verbal correction & brief reasoning Enforce verbal discipline with mild Enforce verbal discipline with mild

consequences (time out, privilege removal)consequences (time out, privilege removal) Spank only for defiance to milder tacticsSpank only for defiance to milder tactics

2- to 6-year-olds2- to 6-year-olds

Last-Resort Back-Ups for Last-Resort Back-Ups for DefianceDefiance

Back-up spankingBack-up spanking 2 open-hand swats to bottom for defiant 2 open-hand swats to bottom for defiant

responses to nonphysical punishment (> 10 of responses to nonphysical punishment (> 10 of 13 alternatives, mostly based on 2- to 6-year-13 alternatives, mostly based on 2- to 6-year-olds)olds)

Note: supports cooperation with milder tacticsNote: supports cooperation with milder tactics Brief forced room isolation: Brief forced room isolation:

Only alternative equally effective for defiant 2- Only alternative equally effective for defiant 2- to 6-year-olds in 2+ studies (back-up for time to 6-year-olds in 2+ studies (back-up for time out)out)

Chaffin: best treatment for abusive parents Chaffin: best treatment for abusive parents uses latter back-up for time out (in PCIT)uses latter back-up for time out (in PCIT)

Detrimental Disciplinary Detrimental Disciplinary EnforcementEnforcement

Verbal hostility: Worst outcomesVerbal hostility: Worst outcomes Psychological controlPsychological control

Overly intrusiveOverly intrusive Limits age-appropriate independence, Limits age-appropriate independence,

autonomyautonomy Arbitrary, inconsistent controlArbitrary, inconsistent control Severe physical punishmentSevere physical punishment Reasoning without enforcementReasoning without enforcement

Parent Education Parent Education ImplicationsImplications

Prevention 1Prevention 1stst, Cure 2, Cure 2ndnd

Balance love and limits (extremes Balance love and limits (extremes detrimental)detrimental)

Verbal tactics 1Verbal tactics 1stst, mild actions 2, mild actions 2ndnd, , last resort 3last resort 3rdrd

Balance Love & LimitsBalance Love & Limits

Authoritative parenting and Authoritative parenting and approximations are optimalapproximations are optimal Authoritarian & permissive extremes Authoritarian & permissive extremes

detrimentaldetrimental Balance reasoning and negative Balance reasoning and negative

consequencesconsequences Either without the other is detrimentalEither without the other is detrimental

Expand parental optionsExpand parental options Make milder discipline more effectiveMake milder discipline more effective Strategy to phase out last-resort tacticsStrategy to phase out last-resort tactics

Sequential Ordering of Sequential Ordering of Disciplinary ResponsesDisciplinary Responses

11st --st -- Mild verbal tactics Mild verbal tactics Be responsive to children & their viewpointBe responsive to children & their viewpoint

22nd --nd -- Mild disciplinary actions Mild disciplinary actions Diversion/redirecting vs. nonphysical Diversion/redirecting vs. nonphysical

consequences?consequences? Single warning for (nonphysical) punishmentSingle warning for (nonphysical) punishment Out-persist, don’t out-escalate the childOut-persist, don’t out-escalate the child

33rd --rd -- Last resort tactics Last resort tactics Only for defiant responses to milder tacticsOnly for defiant responses to milder tactics

Higher levels enforce lower levels, to Higher levels enforce lower levels, to phase out higher levelsphase out higher levels

Concluding ThoughtsConcluding Thoughts

Love AND LimitsLove AND Limits Mild AND EffectiveMild AND Effective Power assertion should support, not Power assertion should support, not

undermine positive parenting undermine positive parenting Fit of your parent education Fit of your parent education

emphases within overall model?emphases within overall model?

Parental Discipline: Sorting out the Mixed Messages

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