Panda Project

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THE PANDA PROJECT

As Medical Director and chief of staff of the New Hope neonatology department,

Emile Raskin was able to come and go as he pleased. And he was pleased to let himself

into the genetics lab early that Sunday morning. Being that it was Sunday, there was no

medical staff in the lab and that left Emile free to rummage through the files for the

information that would be so critical to his new project. The Panda Project was what he

secretly called it.

Secret, indeed. There was no-one who knew (or ever would know) about Panda, not

even Gemma, his wife. Dr. Gemma Raskin, head of high-risk obstetrics, was a brilliant,

sensitive, doctor who was top in her field. She was also infertile and unable to bear a

child of her own. How tragic; a woman who was able to grant the wishes of hundreds of

women and provide baby after baby to each of them, to every patient, except herself.

Every attempt she and Emile tried, from artificial insemination to in vitro fertilization,

had failed. All the standard medical treatments and avenues had failed. So, Gemma

Raskin gave up and totally, turned her attentions to those women she couldhelp.

Emile found the files he wanted and locked the lab, as he left. Then, he walked to the

end of the isolated hallway to an old closed-off lab; closed off, since outside funding had

dried up for the project that the lab housed. Making sure there was still no-one around,

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Emile let himself into the room.

Dr. Raskin flipped on the overhead light and the room was bathed in bright fluorescent

light. What was supposed to be an empty lab was filled with equipment that he had been

squirreling away, little by little. Emile ran his hand over the slightly out-dated respirator

and a two year old isolette.

It will do nicely, he thought to himself, as he looked around and made a mental note of

the few items that he still needed to obtain. Everythings in place. Nowits just a matter

of time.

He tucked the stolen files into his inside lab-coat pocket, turned off the lights and left

for home. Gemma would be waiting. Her wait wasalmost over, he smiled.

It had been a long night; two deliveries, back to back. One of them was a rough C-

section for a breech birth. Close call, but mother and baby were doing fine. Gemma

brushed her long chestnut hair into a metal clip that held it confined neatly at her neck.

She slipped into her jeans and favorite sweatshirt and went down into the kitchen to pour

herself a very strong cup of coffee. She knew Emile would be home from his jog any

minute and she wanted to be at least a little more coherent. Gemma was used to being on-

call and her sleep cycles were like wild roller coaster rides. She never knew if she was

going to be on the up or down, but her body had learned how to adapt and she could cat-

nap at a moments notice, waking up refreshed and ready to go another round or two.

When Gemma heard the front door open, she took down another coffee mug to pour

her husband a cup of French roast. Unlike most joggers who quenched their thirst with

cold water, Emile liked a cup of coffee first and then downed a large glass of orange

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juice. Hes an odd duck, she thought, fondly, as she handed him the mug.

Hi sweetheart, he said, as he kissed her forehead and took a sip of his coffee.

Well, you didnt work too hard, she laughed, as she noticed that he had hardly

broken a sweat.

OhI got a cramp and had to walk the last couple of miles back, he made up. He

watched Gemmas face and saw that she bought it. No need to worry.

Want some breakfast? she asked.

No, thanks. Im gonna hit the shower, love, he answered, as he slipped his arms

around her waist and pulled her tight. She looked up and brushed her lips against his

cheek.

Shes going to make a great mother, he thought and went to take his shower.

Well, are you ready for this? Gemma asked Alicia McDaniel.

I think so, Alicia said, nervously, as the surgical nurse swabbed the cold Betadine

over her swollen belly.

Well, before you know it, you and Jeff will have two healthy little girls and youre

not going to have another good nights sleep again for a long, longtime, Gemma

laughed.

Okay, Dr. Raskin, Alicia tried to smile. This was her first C-section and her first set

of twins; her first baby was a boy and an uncomplicated vaginal birth.

Marta, I think you can go get Jeff, Gemma told the nurse.

Sure, Dr. Raskin, Marta said, and left to bring Jeff into the OR.

Mr. McDaniel, sit right here, behind the drape the anesthesiologist told Jeffrey

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McDaniel. Marta noticed he was white as a sheet. She patted her pocket and felt the vial

of smelling salts. She could spot a fainter a mile away and Jeff McDaniel was going

down; she was sure of it.

Here we go, Gemma said, as she ran the scalpel across the draped abdomen. As the

blood oozed from the clean incision, Marta looked over and saw Jeffrey McDaniel slide

from the stool to the floor.

Jeff? Alicia cried out, as he slid from view.

Its okay, Alicia, Gemma said, reassuringly. Hes not the firstand he wont be the

last.

Like a well-oiled machine, Marta tossed the smelling salts to one of the circulating

nurses who revived the very embarrassed Jeff McDaniel. He was helped back to the stool,

just in time to see his first daughter lifted from his wifes belly.

Gemma dangled the wet, lifeless form covered in bloody secretions and cut the cord.

Then, as if by magic, the motionless baby came to life, howling breath into her lungs. Jeff

kissed his wife, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Okay, thats one. Now, lets get #2, Gemma said and went back into Alicias belly.

Alicia and Jeff could hear their 1st daughter wailing, while one of the nurses tended to

the newborn in the heated warmer. They were smiling at each other and were unaware

that there was a problem with their other daughter.

Marta, call the NICU, Dr. Raskin said, quietly.

What is it? she asked, as she quickly spoke into the intercom behind her on the wall.

Cord around the neck, she said in a low voice, so as not to alarm the parents.

Within 30 seconds, Emile Raskin dressed in scrubs and donning an OR mask rushed

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into the room. He was followed by a nurse from the neonatal intensive care unit, who

would assist him, if the next baby needed resuscitation.

Emile watched, as his wife expertly attempted to free the second twin from the

entangled cord. He could see the sweat bead up on Gemmas forehead and knew that

baby B was in trouble. His NICU nurse quietly, set up special equipment that might be

needed to save the baby. Alicia and Jeffs attention was finally directed from their first

daughter and back to the prolonged birth of their 2nd.

Is something wrong, Dr. Raskin? Alicia asked.

The cord is around her neck, Alicia and Im having trouble getting her out, Gemma

said. It was rare that a complication couldnt be resolved, but every now and then, Mother

Nature would interfere with technology. FateGodDestiny, something other than

science would win out and a baby would be lost or born with severe complications.

Gemma feared this was

one of those times. Silently, she said a prayer, as she often did in these infrequent

circumstances.

Emile! Gemma said to her husband, as she handed him the lifeless infant.

He skillfully listened for a heartbeat with the stethoscope from around his neck.

Gemma could see from the eyes above the surgical mask that there was none. She

swallowed hard and then went back to suturing Alicia McDaniels uterus closed.

Why isnt she crying? Jeff asked in a panicked voice.

Whats wrong?? Alicia cried.

Theyre doing what they can, Alicia, Gemma said, compassionately.

She knew from the movements behind her that baby BCaroline, as the McDaniels

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had named her, was dead. It was rare; it was unfortunate; it was tragic. The McDaniels

went into the delivery room expecting two healthy babies and they would leave with only

one. It broke Gemmas heart. She could only imagine the pain they would feel. Yes, she

could only imagine

Emile Raskin had carried the hypodermic syringe in his pocket for many weeks. He

knew that it was just a matter of time when he would have the opportunity to use it. New

Hope was a large, metropolitan hospital that delivered well over a thousand births a year.

Sooner or later, there would be an unfortunate birth and hed have his chance. He just

hoped and prayed it wouldnt be one of Gemmas.

But, as luck would have it, when the code box screeched code C in OR 2, he knew it

was, indeed, Gemmas room. These days, he closely followed her delivery schedule so as

not to be caught off guard when the right moment presented itself. Still, as he clutched his

pocket and ran down the stairs to the OR, his heart was pounding from more than

exertion.

It was an all to familiar scene in the OR and he knew from the eye contact above her

surgical mask, that the baby was in big trouble. And then, when she passed him the limp

body, he knew there was little hope.

As he laid the baby in the heated warmer and dried off the skin, the motionless infant

remained blue and still. There was no heartbeat, no attempt to breathe. Patty Ferguson,

his NICU code nurse, handed him the appropriate equipment to attempt resuscitation. He

intubated the baby and she gently squeezed the ambu bag, while he again listened for a

heartbeat. Again, nothing. Then, he expertly slipped a catheter into the umbilical vein to

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give resuscitation meds in the outside hope of getting the tiny heart to revive.

Epinephrine! he called to her. She handed him the syringe and he pushed the med

through the linenothingchest compressionsnothingmore epinephrinenothing.

It was over.

Well, almost. Emile reached into his pocket and slipped out the syringe, unnoticed.

While the nurses were busy tending to other things and everyone was focused on poor

Alicia McDaniel, Emile Raskin injected the lifeless baby with the unknown substance.

Then, he threw the empty syringe into the needle box at his side.

He could feel his heart thumping so hard, he was afraid it was audible and that

everyone including his wife was going to turn around and look at him. But, no-one did.

Gemma was finishing up the surgical procedure while at the same time trying to consol

the grieving parents. The anesthesiologist sat silently at the head of the bed, next to his

equipment, just eyeing the dials. He never knew what to say in these situations and it was

one of the reasons he chose anesthesiology as his specialty. His patients were very often

unconscious, and he like it that way.

Jeff sat at his wifes side, wiping her tears and kissing her forehead. A nurse had the

wherewithal to bring Megan, baby A, to Jeff. He cradled the bundled baby in his arms

and brought her tiny, wrinkled face close to his wifes. Alicia turned her face so she could

kiss her baby, her only baby.

Small comfort, Gemma thought. At least she has one. Then, in a brief instant she

thought, againat least she has one. She shook herself back to the task at hand and

finished the surgery.

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Ill take it, Patty, Emile said to his nurse.

Okay, Dr. Raskin, she responded.

It would have been her dubious job to take the babys body to the morgue and check it

in. It was definitely the part of her job she hated the most. It didnt happen often, but

when it did, her heart would break for the grieving parents.

What a nice guy, Patty thought of Dr. Raskin. Not many doctors would volunteer for

such a task. Theyd fill out their papers, say a cursory remark to the parents, and leave her

with the distasteful job. Yes, Dr. Raskin was one of a kind.

Before he wheeled the transport crib from the room, Emile looked over at his wife.

Her face was white and damp and he knew how awful she felt. Dont you worry, Gemma,

he said to himself. Youll be happy, soon enough.

One of the biggest advantages of being the head of his department was that he could

do just about anything or go anywhere without being questioned. No-one would ever

suspect the esteemed Dr. Emile Raskin of any impropriety. He was without reproach.

So, when he wheeled the transport crib, draped with a blanket to shield the lifeless

baby, down the hall and into the elevator, no-one batted an eye. He went unnoticed down

the corridor and in plain sight of passing staff, he entered the old lab.

Quickly, he locked the door behind him. The sign on the door was in place and DO

NOT ENTER would ward off any possible intruders. With the precision of an expert, he

unwrapped the dead baby and placed her in the already warmed incubator. He flipped on

the respirator and heard the whir and hum of the machine as it came to life. Then, he

attached the tubing to the endotrachial tube still taped in place in the babys mouth from

the delivery room. He watched the babys chest rise and fall, softly to the tune of the

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cyclical sounds of the respirator. He watched as the cold, blue color of the babys skin

turned first to pasty white and then, light pink.

Emile felt for the pulse. It was strong and rhythmic. Guh-gunhguh-gunhguh-

gunh. He smiled, as he reached into his pocket for yet another syringe. He set it to the

side and hooked up the IV bag to the umbilical catheter that he purposely left in place in

the OR. It was going exactly as planned. Even better because this was a twin. Even

though they would be grieving the loss of this child, they would be focused on the baby

born alive and that would make this easier for Emile.

It wont be long now, Gemma, he said, gently, as he stroked the babys soft downy

hair.

Im so sorry, Emile told his wife, as she sobbed in his arms that night.

I felt so helpless. If only there was something else I could have done, she cried. But

Gemma knew that there was nothing else to be done. It was an accident of birth and there

was no-one to be blamed. The McDaniels certainly didnt blame her. They thanked her

for trying to save Caroline and for the healthy little Megan. They would have the

bittersweet experience of taking home half a set of twins, but they were grateful they

didnt lose them both.

That night, Emile comforted his wife, knowing that soon, he would have a gift for her.

A very special gift that would fill the empty place in her heart she covered up, so

expertly. She didnt know that he could hear her sobbing softly in her pillow, night after

night, when they finally gave up trying to conceive. He had sworn that he would find a

way and now, he had.

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As soon as Gemma fell asleep, Emile slipped out of the house. If she were to wake,

she would assume he had received an emergency page to return to the hospital. As he ran

his ID card through the parking garage slot, he realized how easy it was, if you knew

what you were doing. And he knew what he was doing.

There was very little activity in the hospital after 11 at night. The night shift was only

a skeleton crew compared to the day shift. He let himself into his special lab and turned

his attention to the baby in the incubator. Her chest continued to rise and fall to the

rhythm of the respirator. The heartbeat on the monitor was strong and steady.

Too bad she was dead.

Emile knew that through the technology he developed, he had brought her back to

technical life, but for all intents and purposes, she was really dead. Her heart was beating,

her lungs were being oxygenated, but her brain was gone. It had been deprived of enough

oxygen at birth to kill the brain cells that could keep the body alive. But he had harnessed

the power to bring the vital organs to life for a very special purpose. She was going to be

the host for his baby; his and Gemmas.

Time to get to work.

First, he went to the special freezer and removed the precious cylinder. The frosty mist

hissed and rose, as he carefully lifted out the vial and laid it next to the sterile

instruments.

Next, Emile scrubbed in at the sink and then, donned the sterile gown and gloves. It

was a procedure he dreamt about month after month, year after year. The idea had come

to him after their third failed attempt at in vitro fertilization.

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One night, Emile awoke in a cold sweat with an idea; a crazy, insane, miraculous idea.

He hadnt been raised by a research scientist, for nothing, he thought. As he fed equation

after equation into the computer, working and reworking the numbers and figures, until it

finally all clicked and the formula was born. If his father had still been alive, he would

have been very proud of his sons persistence and genius.

At first, he tested it on the lab rats. Right from the beginning, it worked miraculously

and he knew that it was an inspired gift that he was given; specifically for his wife. How

could he possibly turn the opportunity down? Perhaps, it was a little illegal. Perhaps, it

was a little unethical. But perhaps, it would work and he would have created a new life

from a dead one and it would be his own child. His and Gemmas.

Emile moved with razor sharp precision to implant the embryonic cells into the

artificial sac he had attached to Carolines umbilical cord. Ever so carefully, he injected

the HGH-527 into the circulating IV fluid. The mutated form of human growth hormone

he created pulsed through the dead baby and into the microscopic cells that had been

joined and frozen to implant into Gemma, should she ever decide to try in vitro again.

Perfect, he said, quietly, as he removed the surgical mask and gown. After pulling

off his gloves and throwing them in the trash, he sat down at the desk to record the

procedure.

2:16 a.m. - HR - 136BP - 86/52

O2 sat - 100%

IV - lactated ringers @ 12ccs/hr2:19 a.m. - embryonic cells implanted

HR - 132

BP - 82/50

O2 sat - 100%

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2:23 a.m. - 5ccs HGH-527 given IV over 5 min.

2:28 a.m. - HR - 134

BP - 83/ 52

O2 sat - 100%

2:45 a.m. VSSprocedure complete

He closed his eyes, as well as the journal. Emile could feel the tightness in his neck

muscles. It had been a very long day and more than a little out of the ordinary. Through

the wonders of science and his own genius, he created life from death; a modern day

Frankenstein. The only difference was that this was his baby and it was going to grow

and live as a normal child. He would make sure of it. This would be no monster.

Every morning, before rounds, Dr. Emile Raskin would check in on his baby; for that

was what is was now. With daily injections of the HGH-527, he was growing at more

than triple the normal speed. At this rate, his son would reach the full gestational age of

40 weeks in less than three months; that would put his birth date somewhere around the

beginning of August.

Day by day, his fetus grew more and more active in the sac that was attached to his

host, Caroline. As she lay there, pasty and lifeless except for the machine breaths, Emiles

son was coming to life. Before Emiles amazed eyes, his fetus sucked his thumb,

stretched his arms and legs, until he grew so large that there was no room in the sac for

him to move.

It was almost time. He had been planning this moment for a long time and now that it

was here, Emile found himself anxious and nervous. What was Gemmas reaction going

to be? He knew that initially, she might be shockedeven angry that he did this without

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including her in the process. But Emile knew that the minute he placed her own son in

her arms, she would forgive any faux pas on his part. After all, he had done this allfor

her.

Unbeknownst to Gemma, Emile had pre-planned their vacations so they would have

two weeks together to make the adjustments as new parents. All Gemma knew, was that

Emile had a surprise for her and she had never seen him so excited. Normally, he was

cool, calm and collected, but the week prior to their vacation, he was a different man.

Cant you even give me a hint? she would ask. He would just smile and shake his

head.

Youll find out soon enough, he would tease.

You know I hate surprises, she responded, but Emile wasnt going to budge.

Whatever it was, he was going to torture her, until the day they left. She suspected it was

a cruise to Alaska. It was her dream trip, but they never seemed to have the time to go.

Thats itAlaska, she thought to herself.

The bedside clock read 1:15a.m.,when Emile gently roused his wife.

Wha..whats the matter? she asked, sleepily.

Time to go, he said, as he kissed her forehead.

Go? Now?? she asked, as her eyes snapped open. Good God, Emile, its one in the

morning!

He laughed, as he pulled the covers back. Gemma groaned. It was bad enough to have

to get up in the middle of the night for a delivery when she was on call, but on vacation?

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really! Well, Alaska better be would be worth it.

After a quick, cold shower, she was ready. Good thing because Emile was practically

dragging her to the car.

We have to make a quick stop at the hospital, first, he told her.

Figures, she thought. Well probably get stuck with some emergency and there goes

the trip. It had happened before and she knew it would happen again. When you were a

doctor (or 2, in their case), it just went with the territory.

Gemma followed her husband through the bowels of the hospital to old, secluded lab.

What on earth does he need, down here? she thought. Before unlocking the door, he

turned to face her. Even in the dim, hallway light, she could see the strange look on his

face.

Whats wrong? she asked, instinctively.

GemmaGemma, I love you. I have been working very hard for thisfor youfor

us, he said, as he took her in his arms.

Emile, what is it? Youre scaring me!

No, no, darling. Its wonderful. I promise you. Its the most wonderful thing in the

world, he said, bursting with pride and love. Close your eyes, he told her and she

obeyed.

As he opened the door and ushered her in, she could hear the familiar sounds of a

respirator.

What? she started to ask.

Hush, darling, he said. Listen to me. Keep your eyes closed and listen to me. I

know that you have been denied the most important thing to you. I have agonized over

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our inability to have a child. So, I have found a way, Gemmato give you your child,

he confessed.

With that, Gemmas eyes popped open in alarm. What on earth was he talking about?

Has he gone mad??

When her eyes refocused from the bright light, she saw that he had, indeedgone mad.

She felt her knees buckle and Emile eased her to a chair near the incubator that housed

the disturbing sight.

In shock, Gemma was unable to speak. She just stared at the vision and realized that

she was dreaming. That was it, she was having a nightmare and she tried to wake herself

up.

Gemma, Gemma, its alright. I promise, Emile said, as he took her by the hand and

led her closer to the incubator. She stared at the bizarre sight with revulsion and couldnt

wait to wake up. She could hear Emiles voice speaking to her from a distance. Then, it

got closer and closer and she could hear every word, very clearly.

Gemma, I did this for you. For us! This is ourson, he said, tenderly, as he lightly

touched the sac. Gemma could see the fat, baby bathed in amniotic fluid squeezed into

the see-through membrane. She could see him sucking his thumb. Then, she looked at the

waxen baby attached to the respirator. It was obviously being kept alive on life-support

and she felt sickened.

Wake up, Gemmawake up!! she said out loud. The nausea rose in her throat and

she couldnt catch her breath.

Wake up!! she screamed.

Gemma, this isnt a dream. Look at me, Emile said, as he took her face in his hands.

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And its time to deliver our son.

Emile went to the scrub sink and handed her a sterile scrub brush. In a daze, knowing

that she had to wake up soon, she unwrapped the brush and joined him at the sink. When

they had finished scrubbing in, he handed her a gown and gloves and led her to the

incubator. Expertly, he had things set up to disconnect his baby from the host he had

provided only months before. Gemma stood at his side, going through the motions just as

if it were a real delivery. First they punctured the sac and watched it deflate, as the fluid

drained into the sterile towels. Then, Emile clamped the cord that attached baby to host.

Proudly, he cut the cord and dried his son in warmed towels. As he stimulated the baby,

Gemma heard the wail and her eyes filled with tears.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, she said, even though she knew that her dream state

could be broken at any moment. Still, while it lasted, she was drinking in the feelings of

giving birth to her own son.

Emile placed the baby into her arms and watched the love pour from her. He knew he

had been right in doing this. He knew that the Panda Project was worth the risk. He could

see it in Gemmas face.

As Gemma cradled her tiny son in her arms, she gazed down at his face. His precious,

sweetness surrounded her heart and filled it with a joy she had never known. Suddenly,

she didnt wantto wake up. She wanted this moment to go on, forever.

All of a sudden, the heart rate monitor began to alarm. Gemma looked up and saw her

husband turn to the baby in the incubator. The heart rhythm on the monitor indicated a

fatal arrhythmia. With the disconnection of the sac, the host baby was going into shock.

Emile turned to the respirator and shut it off. The rhythmic cycling ceased and the babys

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chest movement came to a halt. Gemma watched, as the heart rate spaced out and then

became a flat line. The dead baby died again.

How sad, she thought and then looked back at her son. How beautiful. She turned and

smiled at Emile, as he covered the other baby with a sheet.

It must be time, she said.

Time for what, sweetheart?

For this to be over. To wake up. Thank you, Emilefor all of this, she said.

She really thinks this is a dream, he thought. Shes in shock. He bent down next to her

and took the baby from her. He placed his son in the open crib he had waiting in the

corner. Then, he turned back to his wife and shook her, hard.

Emile! Stop! she said, but the shaking did the trick. When he stopped, she looked

deep into his eyes and she realized with horror that this was no dreamit was a living

nightmare!

Emile, my God! What have you done?? Gemma screamed.

Ive given you a baby, he said, calmly.

Gemma looked first at the crib with her baby and then, at the incubator. She felt the

cold icy fingers grip her insides and twist into convulsed terror. She walked to the

incubator, reached in and pulled back the sheet.

Whowho? was all she could say.

Emile put his arm around her shoulder and led her away from the image of the dead

baby. Then, he told her the storythe whole story from start to finish. As he watched her

face turn from fear to amazement to horror to disgust, he knew he was losing her. Panic

seized him. Not now! He had gone through too much. They had a son now and it was

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what they had hoped and prayed for all those years. Emile was not about to give up now!

Sadness filled his heart, as he reached into his jacket pocket. He hesitated for only a

split second; then with swift precision, he injected his wife with the syringe. He watched

her eyes widen with fear and then, with understanding. She didnt know what it was, but

as she slipped into unconsciousness, she knew it was the only thing he coulddo.

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