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Historic Diary.30

From Oct. 16 1959 Arrival -

Leaveing1959

1st Page

Oct . 16. Arrive from Helsinki by train ; am met by Intourest Repre. andin car to Hotel "Berlin" . Reges . as . "studet" 5 day Lux . tourist. Ticket .)Meet my Intorist guied Rimma Sherikova I explain to her I wish to appli .for Rus. citizenship . She is flabber;;assed, but aggrees to help. She checkswith her boss, main office Intour ; than helps me add . a letter to Sup. Sovitasking for citizenship, mean while boss telephone passport & visa office andnotifies them about me.Oct. 17 - Rimma meets me for Intourist sighseeing says we must contin .with this although I am too nevous she is "sure" I'll have an anserwer .soon. Asks me about myself and my reasons for doing this I explaine Iam a communist, ect . She is politly sym . but uneasy now. She tries tobe a friend to me. she feels sorry for me I am s-ometh . new.

Sun Oct . 18 .

My 20th birthday, we visit exhib . i n morning and in the after noon TheLenin-Stalin tomb . She gives me a present Book "Ideot" by Dostoevski .Oct . 19 Tourism . Am anxious since my visa is good for five days onlyand still no word from auth . about my regest .Oct. 20.

Rimmer in the afternoon says Intourist was notified by the pass &visa dept . that they want to see me I am excited greatly by this news .Oct . 21 .

(mor) Meeting with single offial .

Balding stout, black suit fairly.good English, askes what do I want?, I say Soviee citizenship, he ask whyI give vauge answers about "Great Soviet Union" He tells me "USSR onlygreat in Literature wants me to go back home"

I am stunned I reiterate,he says he shall check and let me know weather my visa will be (extendedit exipiers today) Eve . 6.00 Revive word from police official .

I must leavecountry tonight at. 8 .00

as visa expire .

I am shocked!!

My dreams!I retire to my room . I have $100 . left. I have waited for 2 year to beaccepted.

My fondes dreams are shattered because of a petty ofHal ; becauseof bad planning I planned to much! 7.00 P.M . I decide to end it . Soakgist in cold water to numb the pain .

Than slash my left wrist .

Than plaugwrist into bathtub of hot water.

I think "when Rimma comes at 8 . to findme dead it wil be a great shock . somewhere, a violin plays, as I

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31

DIARY

2nd page

Oct . 21 (con .) :

watch my life whirl away.

I think to myself. "how easyto die" and "a sweet death, (to violins) about 8.00 Rimma finds my un-concious (bathtub water a rich red color) she screams (I remember that)and runs for help .

Amulance comes, am taken to hospital where five stitchesare put in my wrist. Poor Riminea stays by iny side as interrpator (myRussian is still very bad) far into the night, I tell her "go home" (my moodis bad) but she stays, she is "my friend"

She has a strong will only at thismoment I notice she is preetyOct . 22 .

Hospital I am in a small room with about 12 others (sick persons .)2 ordalies and a nurse the room is very drab as well as the breakfast .

Onlyafter prolonged (2 hours) observation of the other pat. do I relize I am inthe Insanity ward . This relization disquits me . Later in afternoon I amvisited by Rimma, she comes in with two doctors, as interr she must askme medical question ;

Did you know what you were doing?

Ans. yes

Didyou blackout? No . ect . I than comp. about poor food the doctors laughapp. this is a good sign

Later they leave, I am alone with Rimma (amonstthe mentaly ill) she encourgest me and scolds me she says she will help meme get trasfered to another section of Has . (not for insane) where foodis good .Oct . 23.suspious of me.) they know) .

Afternoon .tourist office

of the hotel,/ who askes about my health, very beauitiful,very merry and kind, she makes me very glad to be alive .vistsOct. 24

Hospital routine, Rimina visits me in afternoonOct . 25 .

11

"

Oct . 26 An elderly American at the hospital grow suspious about me forsome reason . because at Embassy I told him I had not registered as most

Transfered to ordinary ward,

tourist and I am in general evasive about my presence in Moscow and atAfternoon

hospital . Rimma visits.Oct . 2-7

Stiches are taken out by doctor with "dull" scisorMo

28 Leave hospital in intorist car . with Rimma for Hotel "Berlin" laterI change hotels to "Metropole" all cloths packed, and money from my room(to the last kopeek) returned as well as watch, ring. Ludmilla Dimitrova(Intorist office head) and Rosa invite me to come and sit and take withthem any time . I get lonesome at new hotel . They feel sorry for me .

COMMISSION ExHIBIT 24-Continued

(airy, good food .) but nursesI am visited by Rosa Agafonova

excelant Eng .,Later Rimma

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32

DIARY

3rd page

Oct. 28(con.) Rimma notifies me that, pass S registration office whshesto see me about my future.

Later Rimma and car pick me up and we enterthe officies to find four offials waiting for me (all unknown to me)

Theyask How my arm is, I say O.K ., They ask "Do you want to go to your home-land.

I say no I want Sovite citizen

I say I want to reside in the SovietUnion . They say they will see about that . Than they ask me about thelone offial with whom, I spoke in the first place (appar . he dad not pass alongmy request at all but thought to simply get rid of me by not extending mySoviet visa . At the time I requested it) I desqribe him (they make notes)(what papers do you have to show who and what you are? I give themmy dischare papers from the Marine Corps . They say wait for our ans.I ask how long? Not soon. Later Rimma comes to check on me . I feelinsulted and insult her.Oct . 29.

Hotel Room 214 Metropole Hotel .

I wait.

I worry

I eat once,stay next to phone worry I keep fully dressedOct . 30. Hotel Room I have been in hotel three days, if seems like threeyears I must have some sort of a showdown!Oct . 31 . I make my dision . Getting passport at 12"00 I meet and talkwith Rimma for a few minutes she says : stay in your room and eat well,I don't tell her about what I intend to do since I know she would not approve .

See :

After she leaves I wait a few minutes and than I catch a taxi, "AmericanOct

Embassy" I say .

12"30, I arrive American Embassy, I walk in and say to31st

the receptionist `I would like to see the Consular" she points at a large lagerI

and says "If you are a tourist please register".

I take out my AmericanN

passport and lay it in the desk, I have come to dissolve my American citizen-t

ship.

I saymatter-of-factly she rises and enters the office of Richard Snydere

American Head Consular in Moscow at that time. He invites me to sitr

down.

He finishes a letter he is typing and than ask what he can do for me .v

I tell him I have dicided to take Soviet citizenship and would like to leaglyi

dissolve my U.S . citizenship .

His assitant (now Head Consular) McVickerse

looks up from his work .

Snyder serys- takes down personall Information,w

ask questions

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33

1959

His. Diary

Sat. Oct 31 . (con) warnes me not to take any steps before the soviets exceptme, says I am a "fool", and says the dissolution papers are along time inpreparing (In other words refuses to allow me at that time to dissolve U.S.citiz . I state "my mind is make up" From this day forward I considermyself no citizen of the U.S.A .

I spend 40 minutes at the Embassy beforeSnyder says 'now unless you wish to expound on your maxist belifes youcan go."

I wish to dissolve U.S . citiz, not today he says in effect.

I leaveEmbassy, elated at this showdown, returning to my hotel I feel now myenorgies are not spent in vain .

I'm sure Russians will except me after thissign of my faith in them .

2 :00 a knock, a reporter by the name of Goldstenewants an interview I'm flabbergassed "how did you find out?

The Embassycalled us ."

He said .

I send him away I sit and relize this is one way toI)ring pressure on me. By notifing my relations in U.S . through the news-papers.

Although they would say "ifs for the public record."

A half hourlater another reporter Miss Mosby comes .

I ansewer a few quick questionsafter refusing an interviwe. I am surprised at the interest . I get phonecalls from "Time" at night a phone call from the States I refuse all caller,without finding out who's it from .

I feel non-deplused because of the atten-tion 10 :00 I retire .Nov . 1 - more reporters, 3 phone calls from brother & mother, now I feelslightly axzillarated, not so lonly .Nov -2-15

Days of utter loneliness I refuse all reports phone calls I remainein my room, I am racked with dsyentary .-Nov 15 - I decide to give an interview, I have Miss Mosbys card so I call her .She drives right over. I give my story, allow pictures, later story is dis-torted, sent without my perrmission, that is : before I ever saw and O.K.'ed

her story .

Again I feel slightly better because of the attentionNov . 16.

A Russian official comes to my room askes how I am.

Notifies meI can remain in USSR till some solution in found with what to do with me,it is comforting news for me.


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34

Diary

Nov 17 - Dec . 30 I have bought myself two self-teaching Russian Lan. Books Iforce myself to study 8 hours a day

I sit in my room and read and memorize words.All meals I take in my room .

Rinanea arranged that .

It is very cold on the streetsso I rarley go outside at all for this month and a-half I see no one speak to no-oneaccept every-now-and-than Rinunea, who calls the ministry about me. Have theyforgotten?,

During December I paid no money to the hotel, but Rimmer told Hotel Iwas expecting alot of money from USA.

I have $28. left.

This month I was calledto the passport office and met 3 new offials who asked me the same questions I ans .a month before.

They appear not to know me at all .Dec 31 .

New Yearseve, I spend in the company of Rosa Agafoneva at the Hotel Berlin,she has the duty .

I sit with her untill past mignight, she gives me a small "Boratin,"clown, for a New Years present She is very nice I found out only recently she ismarried, has small son who was born crippled, that is why she is so strangly tenderand competing.Jan 1- 4

Nochange in routineJan 4 .

I am called to passport office and finilly given a Soviet document not the sovietcitizenship as I so wanted, only a Residence document, not even for foringners but apaper called "for those without citizenship ." Still I am happy. The offial says they

onlyare sending me to the city of "Minsk"

I ask "is that in Siberia?

He / laughes.

healso tells me that they have arranged for me to recive some money though the RedCross.

to pay my hotel bills and exhensis .

I thank the gentelinen and leave later inthe afternoon I see Rimma "she asks are you happy" "yes"Jan. 5.

I go to Red Cross in Moscow for money with Interrupter (a new one)

I recive5000. rubles a huge sum!!

Later in Mink I am to earn 70 rubles a month at the factory.Jan. 7 .

I leave Moscow by train for Minsk, Belorussia .

My hotel bill was 2200, rublesand the train ticket to Minsk 1,50 . rubles so I have alot of money & hope.

I wrote mybrother & mother letters in which I said "I do not wish to every contact you again."I am begining anew life and I don't want any part of the old".


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35.

Diary

Minsk.

Jan 7 .

Arrive in Minsk, met by 2 women Red Cross workers

We go to Hotel "biinsk"I take room, and meet Rosa and Stellina two persons from intourist in hotel who speakEnglish

Stellina is in 40's nice married young child, Rosa about 23 blond attractiveunmarried Excellant English, we attract each other at once .Jan 8 .

I meet the city mayor, comrade Shrapof. who welcomes me to Minsk promisisa rent-free apartment "soon" and warns me about "uncultured persons" who somethimesinsult foriengers.

My interputer : Roman Detkof. Head For. Tech Instit . neat door .Jan. 10.

The day to myself I walk through city, very nice.Jan . 11 I vist Minsk radio factory where I shall work. There I meet ArgentinianImmigrant Alexander Zeger Born a Polish Jew . Ilmni to Argen . i n 1938 and back toPolish homeland (now part of Belo.) in 1955 speaks English with Amer . accent heworked for Amer . com . i n Argen.

He is Head of a Dept. a quialified Engenier, in late40's mild mannered likable

He seems to want to tell me somet.

I show him my tempor .docu . and say soon I shall have Russ . citiz .Jan . 13 - 16

I work as a "checker" metal worker, pay : 700 rubles a month, work veryeasy, I am learning Russian quickly

Now, Everyone is very friendly and kind .

I meetmany young Russian workers my own age they have varied personatities all wish toknow about me even offer to hold a mass meeting so I can say.

I refuse politely.

Atnight I take Rosa to the thearter, movie or operor almost every day I'm living big andam very satisfied . I recive a check from the Red Cross every 5th of the month "tohelp ." The check is 700 rubles. Therefore every month I make 1400. R. about thesame as the Director of the factory! . Zeger observes me during this time I don'tlike : picture of Lenin which watchs frome its place of honour and phy . training at11r-11 .10 each morning (complusery) . for all. (shades of H. G . Wells!!)March 16. I recive a small flat one-room kicten-bath near the factory (8 min. walk)with splendid view from 2 balconies of the river, almost rent free (60 . rub. a man.)it is a Russians dream .March 17 - April 31 - work, I have lost contact with Rosa after my house moving .

Imeet Pavil Golovacha . A yonuge man my age friendly very intelligent a exalant ra-dio techniction his father is Gen. Golovacha Commander of Northwestenr Siberia .Twice hero of USSR in W.W. 2 .


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May 1- May Day came as my first holiday all factories Ect . closed after sptacular mili-tary parade all workers parad past reviewing stand waving flags and picutres of Mr . K .ect. I follow the Amer . custom of marking a Holiday by sleeping in in the morning .At night I visit with the Zegers daughters at an party throw by them about 40 peoplecame many of Argentine origen we dance and play around and drink until 2 am. whenparty breaks up. Leonara Zeger oldest dau . 26 formally married, now divorced, atalanted singer. Anita Zeger 20 very gay, not so attractive but we hit it off. HerBoy-friend Alferd is a Hungarian chap, silent and brooding, not at all like Anita .Zeber advises me to go back to U. S . A. its the first voice of oppossition I have heard.I respect Zeger, he has seen the world .

He says many things, and relats mangy thingsI do not know about the U. S . S . R .

I begin to feel uneasy inside, its true!June-July Summer months of green beauty, pine forest very deep . I enjoy manySundays in the enviorments of Minsk . with the Zegers who have a car "mos.vick"Alfred always goes along with Anita, Leonara seems to have no permanet Boy-friend,but many admirirs . She has a beautiful Spanish figure, long black hair, like Anita.I never pay much atten . to her shes too old for me she seemes to dislike my lack of attention for some reason .

She is high strung.

I have become habituatated to a smallcafe which is where I dine in the evening the food is generally poor and always oactlythe same, menue in any cafe, at any point in the city.

The food is cheap and I dontreally care about quiality after three years in the U.S.M . C .Aug-Sept

As my Russian improves I become increasingly concious of just what sortof a sociaty I live in. Mass gymnastics, compulsory after work meeting, usually po-litical information meeting . Complusary attendance at lectures and the sending ofthe entire shop collective (except me) to pick potatoes on a Sunday, at a State col-letive farm. A "patroict duty" to bring in the harvest. The opions of the workers(unvoiced) are that its a great pain in the neck.

They don't seem to be esspicialyenthusiastic about any of the "collective" duties a natural feeling.

I am increasinglyaware of the presence, in all thing, of Lebizen, shop party secretary, fat, fortyish, andjovial on the outside. He is a no-nonsense party regular .

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28

Diary

Oct .

The coming of Fall, my dread of a new Russian winter, are mellowed in splendidgolds and reds of fall in Belorussia plums peachs appricots and cherrys abound for theselast fall weeks I am a healthy brown color and stuffed with fresh fruit.

(at other timesof the year unobtainable)Oct. 18 my 21st birthday see's Rosa, Pavil, Ella at a small party at my place Ella avery attractive Russian Jew I have been going whlking with lately, works at the radiofactory also.

Rosa and Ella are jelous of each other it brings a warm feeling to me.Both are at my place for the first time.

Ella and Pavil both give ash-tray's (I don'tsmoke) we have a laugh.Nov.

Finds the approach of winter now . A growing lonliness overtakes me in spite ofmy conquest of Ennatachina a girl from Riga, studying at the music conservorie inMinsk .

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After an affair which last a few weeks we part .Nov 15 in Nov. I make the aequaintaces of four girls rooming at the For . Ian . domi-tory in room 212.

Nell is very interesting, so is Tomka, Tomis and Alla .

I usually goto the institute domatory with a friend of mine who speaks english very well .

EraichTitov is in the forth year at the medical institute .

Very bright fellow

At the doma-tory we 6 sit and talk for hours in Russiae englishDee1

I am having a light affair with Nell Korobka .Jan 1New Years I spend at home of Ella Germaim

I think I'm in love with her.

She hasrefused my more dishonourable advanis, we drink and eat in the presenec of her familyin a very hospitable atmosfere.

Later I go home drunk and happy .

Passing the riverhomeward, I decide to propose to Ella .Jan. 2.

After a pleasent handin-hand walk to the local cinima we come home, standingon the doorstep I propose's She hesitates than refuses, my love is real but she has nonefor me . Her reason besides lack of love ; I am american and someday might be ar-rested simply because of that example Polish Inlervention in the 20's . led to arrest ofall people in the Soviet Union of polish oregen "you understand the world situationthere is too much against you and you don't even know it"

I am stunned she snickersat my awkarness in turning to go (I am too stunned too think!)

I realize she wasnever serious with me but only exploited my being an american, in order to get theenvy of the other girls who consider me different from the Russian Boys. I ammisarable !


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27

DAIRY

Jan 3.

I am misarable about Ella . I love her but what can I do? It is the state offear which was awway in the Soviet Union.Jan . 4.

On year after I recived the residence document I am called in to the passportoffice and asked if I want citizenship (Russian) I say no simply extend my residentalpassport to agree and my document is extended untill Jan 4. 1962Jan-4-31

I am stating to reconsider my disire about staying The work is drab themoney I get has nowhere to be spent. No nightclubs or bowling allys no places ofrecreation acept the trade union dances I have have had enough .Feb . 1st Make my first request to American Embassy, Moscow for reconsideringmy position, I stated "I would like to go back to U.S ."Feb. 28th

I revive letter from Embassy .

Richard E . Sneyder stated "I could come infor an interview anytime I wanted."March 1-16 I now live in a state of expectation about going back to the U.S . Iconfided with Zeger he supports my judgment but warnes me not to tell any Russiansabout my desire to reture . I understade now why .March 17 - I and Erich went to trade union dance. Boring but at the last hour Iam introduced to a girl with a French hair-do and red-dress with white slipper I dancewith her. than ask to show her home I do, along with 5 other admirares Her nameis Marina . We like each other right away she gives me her phone number anddeparts home with an not-so-new freiend in a taxi, I walk home.March-18-31- We walk I talk a little about myself she talks alot about herself .her name is Marina N. ProsakobaApr : 1st-30

We are going steady and I decide I must have her, she puts me off soon April 15 I propose, she accepts .April 3', after a 7 day delay at the marralge beaure because of my unusual passportthey allow us to registra as man & wife two of Marinas girl friends act as bridesmaids .We are married at her aunts home we have a dinner reception for about 20 friendsand neboribor who wish us happiness (in spite of my origin and accept) which was ingeneral rather disquiting to any Russian since for. are very rare in the soviet unioneven tourist . after an evening of eating and drinking in which uncle Wooser starteda fright and the fuse blow on an overloaded circite We take our leave and walk the15 minutes to our home. We lived near each other. at midnight we were home .

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26

DIARY

1stMay Day 1961 . Found us thinking about our future . Inspite of fact I married Marinato hurt Ella I found myself in love with Marina .May - The trasistion of changing full love from Ella to Marina was very painfullesp . as I saw Ella almost every day at the factory but as the days and weeks went byI adjusted more and more my wife mentaly. I still haden't told my wife of my desireto return to US . She is maddly in love with me from the very start, boat rides onLake Minsk walks throught the parks evening at home or at Aunt Valia's place markMayJune - A continuence of May, except. that ; we draw closer and closer, and I thinkvery little now of Ella. i n the last days of this month I revele my longing to returnto America . My wife is slightly startled . But than encourages me to do what Iwish to do.July - I decived to take my two week vacation and travel to Moscow (without policepermission) to the American Embassy to see about geting my U. S. passport backand make arrangements for my wife to enter the U . S . with me.July 8 - I fly by plane to Minsk on a il - 20, 2 hrs 20m later after taking a tearful andanxiou parting from my wife I arrive in Moscow departing by bus From the airfield Iarrive in the center of the city . Making my way through heavy traffic I don't comein sight of the embassy until 3 :00 in the afternoon . Its Saturday what if they areclosed? Entering I find the offices empty but mange to contact Snyder on the phone(since all embassy personal live in the same buiding) he comes down to greet meshake my hand after interview he advises me to come in first thing mon .

(see - July 8 - 13 . )July 8 .

Interview July 9 recive passport ; call Marina to Moscow also .July 14 .

I and Marina returen to Minsk .July 15 . Marina at work, is shocked to find out ther everyone knows she enteredthe U . S . embassy . They were called at her place of work from some officials inMoscow." The hoses hold a meeting and give her a strong browbeating. The firstof many indocrinations.


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DIARY

lard Page

July 15 Aug 20. we have found out which blanks and certificates are necesscearyf-Ar to apply - for a exit visa they number about 20 papers ; Birth certificates affidavitephotos ect .

On Aug 20th we give the papers out they say it will be 31/2 months beforewe know wheather they'll let. us go or not .

in the meantime Marina has had to stade4 different meeting at the place of work held by her Boss's at the direction of "some-one" by phone. The young comm . leauge headquthers also called about her and shehad to go see them for 11/2 hrs .

The purpose (expressed) is to disaude her from goingto the U.S.A ., Net effect : Blake her more stubborn about wanting to go Marina ispregnet, we only hope that the visas come through soon .Aug 21-Sept 1 - I make expected trips to the passport & visa office also to ministry offor. affairs in Minsk, also Min . of Interal affairs, all of which have a say in the grantingof a visa . I extracked promises of quick attention to US .Sept-Oct 18 . No word from Min.

(They'll call us.")

Marina leaves Minsk by trainon vaction to the city of Khkov in the Urals to vist an aunt for 4 weeks. Duringthis time I am lonely but I and Erich go to the dances and public places for enitanment .I havent done this in quite a few months now .

I spend my birthday alone at the operawatching my favoriot "Queen of Spades." I am 22 years old .Nov-2 Marina arrives back, radient, with several jars of preserses for me from herher aunt in Khkov.Nov-Dec .

Now we are becoming anoid about the delay Marina is beginning to waiverabout going to the US . Probably from the strain and her being pregrate, still wequarrel and so things are not to bright esp. with the approach of the hard Russianwinter.Dec 25th Xmas Day Tues . Marina is called to the passport & visa office. She istold we have been granted Soviet exit visa's . She fills out the completing blank andthen comes home with the news . Its great (I think!) New Years, we spend at theZeger's at a dinner party at midnight. attended by 6 other persons.Jan. 4 .

I am called to the passport office since my Residenceal passport expires today,since I now have a US. passport in my possition I am given a totly new resid. pass .called, "Pass for Forin," and since they have given US perrmission to leave, and knowwe shall, good to July 5, 1842.

COMMIBBION IJRAIBIT 24-Continued

24

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Jan 15.Feb . 15 .

Days of cold Russian winter .baby on March 1st.Feb 15 - Dawn .

Marina wakes me.

Its her time .

At 9 :00 we arrive at the hospitalI leave her in care of nurses and leave to go to work .

10 :00 Marina has a baby girl .when I vist the hospital at 500 after work, I am given news.

We both wanted a boy.Marina feels well, baby girl, O.K.Feb . 23 Maria leaves hospital I see June for first time .Feb . 28

I go to registra (as prespibed by law) the baby.

I want her name to be JuneMarina Oswald .

But those Beaurecrats say her middle name must be the same as myfirst . A Russian custom support by a law . I refuse to have her name written as"June Lee ." They promise to call the city ministry (city hall) and find out in thiscase since I do have an U.S . passport .Feb . 29. I am told that nobody knows what to do exactly, but everyone agrees "Goahead and do it, "Po-Russki ."

Name : June Lee.March .

The last commiques are exchanged between myself and Embassy .

letters arealways arriving from my mother and brother in the U.S . I have still not told Erichwho is my oldest existing aquaitance, that we are going to the State, he's o.k . but I'mafraid he is too good a young communist leage member so I'll wait till last min .March 24 - Marina quits her job in the formal fashion .March 26 - I revive a letter from Immigration & Natur . service at San Antonio,Texas, that Marina has had her visa petition to the U.S . (Approved!!) The lastdocument . Now we only have to wait for the U.S . Embassy to receive their copy of theapproval so they can officially give the go ahead .March 27 1 revive a letter from a Mr . Philles (a employ . of my mother, pleging tosupport my wife in case of need .April -

But we feel fine .

Marina is supposed to have


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