8/2/2019 Ossim Skit is Ossim

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Ossim skit is Ossim

One dull, lethargic Monday morning, Biotechnology class began. It was raining, not too hard but

enough to make the sky turn a dark shade of blue. The kind of shade you would want to color your

bedroom in, but not your living room, instead you should look for the light vivid green similar to that of

an asparagus. Otherwise this dark shade of blue might dampen the mood of any house guests you might

have and we dont want that now do we? A bright young man, by the name of Jack entered the

classroom; lo and behold everyone around him gazed upon this youth with respect and envy. Revered

by all, shunned by none, this man might very well be the future president of the world.

Moving on As Jack walked into the classroom he greeted his classmate Jeffrey who was sitting

there nonchalantly eating.

Jack: What is up? Didnt have breakfast this morning I see.

Jeffrey: Well I woke up late, give me a break.

Jack: Still youre not supposed to be eating in class; do you know how dangerous it is to have food

around the lab room?

Jeffrey: Bite me, now let me finish this banana before the teacher sees me, and is that Alcohol you have

there?

To the side of Jack, there was a small brown paper bag wrapped around a bottle. It was labeled

books.

Jack: Uhhhh, noooo. These are books ;D

Jeffrey: Whatever just go away and let me finish eating.

Hurt by this, Jack began to cry and placed his head down on the table. Jeffrey finished his

banana and tossed the peel on the floor like the senseless jerk that he is. Meanwhile Antony, who had

recently recovered from an incident involving gun trafficking and the motor vehicles department walked

into class. However he was too busy being tall and didnt see the banana peel on the floor. Next thing he

knew, he was on the floor with his hands around his legs.

Antony: OH GODDAMIT YOU FOTHER MUCKING Piece of GOD NOT AGAIN I JUST GOT OUT OF

PHYSICAL THERAPY ( or sumthin)

He had slipped on the banana peel and had sprained his ankle. Jeffrey and Jack alerted by all this

noise turned to see what had happened.

Jack: What seemsh to be the problem officers?

Jeffrey: Oh shit, What happened?

Antony: some idiot left a banana peel on the floor, and also left out the H in my name.

Jeffrey: ohh yeaaa mustve been from the last class. That lazy bastard who does he think he is leaving his

trash on the floor?

Jack: WE SHOULD CALL THE COPS. wait, wasnt that idiot ---

Dragging Jack aside. Jeffrey began to take advantage of the drunken idiot.

Jeffrey: No it was you remember? You were the one eating breakfast in class even though I tried to

convince you otherwise.

Jack: D: really?

Jeffrey: Yea, dont worry though I got your back Ill take care of this for 20$, just cover for me and dont

tell anyone about this.

Jack: Thanksh youre a tru pal thas for shure, here you go.

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Turning back to Antony, Jeffrey begins to drag him out the door while Jack faints in the corner.

Antony: Wait what are you doing? Someone Tell the teacher HELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEE.

Jeffrey: Its going to be alright I took a class in anatomy once, Im pretty sure I can fix your scapula.

Antony: THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH MY SCAPULA!( Antonys trademark) SHIT-

While Jeffrey drags Antony out, Pei enters the room, late as always, applying her makeup,

prettying herself up in hopes that someday she might be able to look as pretty as Justin Bieber one day.

There was thing this thing about Justin Bieber that attracted so many men to her, and one day Pei hoped

to be just like her. Back in elementary school, Pei was left isolated in the classroom since she didnt have

fancy makeup or an easy bake over. To this day shes scarred by what that man had done to her. But

thats a different story well save for another time.

Pei: whats good homes boy?

Jeffrey: Nothin much just the usual, you?

Pei: I got a date today, getting ready.

Jeffrey: Well thats great and all but Ive gotta go give this man a new kidney

Antony: I DONT NEED A NEW KIDNEY

Jeffrey: Sure you dont, and Priests dont molest little boys.

Antony: CALL THE COPS PEI.

Pei: Thats great, later guys.

Once again, not looking another student falls prey to the trip and fall. Pei loses her footing as

she trips on Antonys leg, spilling her makeup all over the floor.

Pei: MYYY MAKEUPPPP D;

Antony: MY GODDAM LEG GODDAMIT HURTS SO MUCH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?!?

JACK: MY BOOKKSSS WHERE ARE MY BOOOOKKSS?

Said Jack as he awakes from his slumber.

Jeffrey: right there on the table where you left them.

Jack: Oh great

Said Jack as he grabs the booze, collapsing knocking down the chemicals on the desk dropping

his books on the floor spilling them all over the ground lying next to Pei and Antony.

Antony: WHY DOES MY LEG BURN? AND AM I BLEEDING?

Jeffrey: No I think thats fire.

Yes, a fire had been created from mixing the compounds that were being experimented on in

the lab with the makeup power and the alcohol, somehow, spreading all over the floor.

Pei: NOOOO, THIS WAS A NEW DRESS. begins to cry-

Antony: NOW WILL YOU CALL THE COPS? JEFFREY? WHERED YOU GO

Before he knew it, Jeffrey had already disappeared from the scene leaving no evidence that he

was ever there. Meanwhile Pei was still lying on top of Antony crying, and Jack had passed out.

Antony:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!