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8/22/2019 Orly Benjamin y Sullivan Oriel. Relational resources, gender consciousness and possibilities of change in marital r
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Relational resources, genderconsciousness and possibilities of change
in marital relationships
Orly Benjamin and Oriel Sullivan
Abstract
Investigating the possibilities of change in marital relationships, we
argue, involves examining the interplay of gender consciousness, rela-
tional resources and material circumstances in their concrete, inter-
actional manifestations. The attempt to address this interface is
grounded in the idea that understanding gender relations necessarily
involves both institutional and interactional dimensions. While much
research has been devoted to the influence of material or structuralresources on indicators such as the domestic division of labour, relatively
little direct attention has been given to the issue of differing relational
or interpersonal resources. We use a multi-method approach based on
interviews with women in different occupations to analyse possibilities
of change in marital communication and the domestic division of labour
in relation both to womens material and to their relational resources.
We conclude that a combination of increased gender consciousness and
the development of particular inter-personal skills facilitates negotiation
and change in the boundaries regulating both communication and thedomestic division of labour within the marital relationship.
Introduction
For many years now there has been an interest among sociologists
in the extent to which gender power relations in the home have been
influenced by womens increased access to social and materialresources. The feminist argument that access to independent
resources is a major condition for the liberation of women consti-
tutes a significant theme of this debate. For example, Marx-Ferree
argued (1988, 1991) that access to material resources acts as an
important leverage in womens power position at home and a major
The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999. Published by Blackwell Publishers,108 Cowley Road, Oxford OX4 1JF, UK and 350 Main Street, Malden, MA 02148, USA.
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condition in the enabling of marital negotiation. In the same vein
Hartmann suggested that womens increasing economic indepen-
dence will create high levels of domestic conflict around their efforts
to raise their male partners levels of domestic participation
(Hartmann, 1981). Such suggestions encouraged several feminist
researchers to undertake the project of exploring the domestic
sphere in order to trace the development of conflict or negotiation
in this area. Particularly well-known in this respect are the studies
of Komter in the Netherlands (1989); Brannen and Moss in
England (1991); and Berk (1985), Hochschild (1989) and DeVault
(1990, 1991) in the USA. All of these studies focused, as part of
their more general scope, on employed mothers and their attitudes,
thoughts or feelings around the domestic division of labour. In fact,
what all of them reported were very low levels of domestic negotia-
tion, and these results were backed up by a range of theoretical
explanations for the relative absence of change in gender relations in
the home. All of these explanations (with the exception of Komter,
1989), directed their attention to the dynamics of the husband-wife
relationship, and the production of femininity and masculinity
through traditional domestic arrangements. Together with a range
of other studies (eg Thompson and Walker, 1989; Mederer, 1993;
Thompson, 1993), these studies therefore contributed to the recog-
nition that change in structural conditions does not translate in sim-
ple ways into domestic divisions of family labour, and that changes
in womens employment commitments, for example, has at best a
limited mediating influence on levels of mens participation. On the
other hand, there is increasing evidence recently to suggest that
some structural factors, such as the duration of a womans full-time
work commitment, can indeed lead to longitudinal adjustments
between partners in the domestic division of labour over time
(Gershuny, 1995).
These conflicting findings have been difficult to reconcile, in the
face of research which has shown a stubborn persistency in womens
almost exclusive responsibility for aspects of performance and man-
agement of domestic tasks, and which, moreover, has revealed the
complexity of an emotional situation in which structural factors
alone do not play the most significant role. In this paper we attemptto give recognition to the interconnectedness of dimensions of
power, intimacy and housework by conceptualising possibilities of
change in both marital communication and the domestic division
of labour in relation both to womens material and relational
resources.
Relational resources
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In particular, we develop the argument that, for some groups of
women, exposure to what we call therapeutic discourse (see below)
in both their professional and personal lives can promote both an
enhancement of gender consciousness (Gerson and Peiss, 1985),
and the development of particular inter-personal skills. This combi-
nation of increased gender consciousness and inter-personal skills
in turn facilitates negotiation and change in the boundaries regulat-
ing both communication and the domestic division of labour within
the marital relationship. The change referred to in the title is thus
conceived of as womens success in challenging normative scripts in
both marital communication and the household division of labour.
Therapeutic discourse and gender consciousness
Therapeutic discourse in the sense in which we use it is taken to
refer to part of the wider ideological environment, and encompasses
a range of practices and media at both the professional and popular
level: individual therapy and counselling; group or family therapy;
self-enhancing workshops; self-help books, tapes and videos; media
shows and advisory services. A major message of therapeutic dis-
course is that people can develop and improve the inter-personal
skills which they use within their relationships. It is claimed, for
example, that people are able to learn how to talk; how to commu-
nicate their feelings; how to change their feelings; and how to man-
age situations so as to maintain the sense of being in control. As
explained by Cancian and Gordon (1987) such messages are signifi-
cant in enabling feminist ideas regarding direct conflict and
womens empowerment to be brought into the intimate situation.
Direct and indirect reference to these aspects of the wider discursive
environment can be found in the work of many authors. Along with
criticism directed at its origins in individualistic utilitarianism (see, for
instance, Bellah, 1985; Swidler, 1985), one can also find within this lit-
erature a recognition of the potential for a facilitation of change
embedded within therapeutic discourse. For example, Illouz makes the
claim that what she terms the therapeutic ethos should not only be
understood in terms of the pervasive influence of individualism, butalso as providing a dimension of self-observation and self-knowledge
(1991: 240). Crawford (1995) writes of the self-help industry:
The quest for self-transformation encouraged by individualistic
social science does, at least, give women the message that Your
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life is yours to control. And this belief may be necessary and
empowering for anyone committed to change. (Crawford, 1995:
179)
A similar message is to be found in Giddens (1991), where he argues
that therapy can be seen as an expression of generalised reflexivity,
which should be evaluated as a methodology of life-planning. It
represents a means by which the individual may acquire a more
developed self-understanding, and be able to harmonise present
concerns and future projects with a psychological inheritance from
the past (p. 180). Thus, womens access to expert systems or bodies
of knowledge can equip them with new perceptions of self and a
new awareness about relations with others. With perhaps a more
direct reference to the theme of this paper Cancian (1987) argues
that what she terms the human potential movement has had a sig-
nificant impact on culture in the United States, facilitating the
development of new blueprints of intimate relationships, based on
images of androgynous love.
So we suggest that, embedded in the emphasis within therapeutic
discourse on open and change-orientated communication, lie some
significant potential pathways to the development of enhanced gen-
der consciousness, defined according to Gerson and Peisss 1985
formulation. In their approach gender consciousness can be
thought of as a continuum along which a generalized gender aware-
ness is succeeded by a consciousness of the rights associated with
specific gender locations within a given system. This in turn implies
a reciprocal influence on the generation of these rights in social
interaction, which might be either reactionary or progressive in
nature. Finally, a clearly articulated challenge to the existing system
of gender relations may emerge, containing an explicit commitment
to change. Gender consciousness is thus, according to Thompson
(1993), central to whether or not partners, particularly women,
push for change (p. 566). It may be regarded as a critical enabling
element in the desire for the transformation of the normative
boundaries which regulate gender relations (see Potuchek, 1992).
Gerson and Peiss have stressed the need for more research on how
such consciousness develops or recedes and other writers havedrawn attention to the link between changing norms of intimacy
and the growth of what we have called therapeutic discourse (see
Giddens, 1991; Cancian, 1987).
Relational resources
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Relational resources and negotiation of boundaries
In addition to the relationship at the wider level between the influ-
ence of therapeutic discourse and an enabling gender consciousness,
we might also consider that those with high and systematic expo-
sure to therapeutic discourse may also develop specific interper-
sonal skills. Examples of such skills might include change-directed
negotiating skills, the ability to express thoughts and feelings more
clearly, and the controlled use of anger in conflictual situations. In
our analyses we use measures of such skills as operationalisations of
the concept of relational resources, which we understand as the
combination of the interpersonal and emotional skills and resources
that individuals bring to a relationship. We argue that relational
resources, like material resources, can act as important facilitators
of change in aspects of intimate relationships (specifically, in the
empirical operationalisation of these concepts in this paper, in mari-
tal communication and the domestic division of labour). While
much research has been devoted to the influence of material or
structural resources on indicators such as the domestic division of
labour, relatively little direct attention has been given to the issue of
differing relational resources. We argue that in order to investigate
the possibilities of change in marital relationships we should in fact
be examining the specific interplay of gender consciousness, rela-
tional resources and material circumstances in their concrete, inter-
actional manifestations.
With this model we attempt to bridge the different levels of analy-
sis which are involved in any theoretical conceptualisation of gender
relations, which are simultaneously and interpenetratingly con-
structed at the institutional level (shaping images and meanings of
intimate relationships, cf: Cancian, 1987; Hochschild, 1989, 1990;
Giddens, 1991, 1992; Illouz, 1991; Simonds, 1992) and negotiated
within individual relationships. The attempt to address this inter-
face is grounded in the idea that an understanding of possibilities of
change in the sphere of gender relations necessarily involves both
interactional and institutional dimensions: the gender perspective
simultaneously emphasizes the symbolic and the structural . . . the
interactional and institutional levels of analysis (Ferree, 1990: 868).
However, despite widespread recognition of the theoretical
importance of multidimensionality in the study of gender relations,
empirical analyses which attempt to incorporate it are relatively rare
in the literature, having tended to focus on either the interactional
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or the institutional level. The empirical analyses presented here
therefore involve both an investigation of the relational resources
resulting from womens differential exposure to therapeutic dis-
course at the institutional level, and their interactional outcomes in
respect of negotiation and change within the marital relationship. It
is argued that women who have been exposed (through professional
development activities, personal counselling, reading etc) to influ-
ences at the institutional level which promote the development of
reflexivity and self-awareness in intimate relationships are more
likely to have acquired the relational resources necessary to achieve
the successful challenging of normative boundaries regulating both
the communicative sphere within marriage (marital talk see
Zvonkovich et al, 1996) and the material measure of the division of
domestic labour.
The importance of our theoretical conception of negotiation and
boundaries in the marital relationship is also developed from
Gerson and Peisss influential article (Gerson and Peiss, 1985).
Negotiation in this approach relates to the way in which women
and men, from an initial base of resources, bargain for privileges
and resources. This notion of negotiation is twinned in Gerson and
Peisss conception with domination, which is used to refer to the
ways in which women are oppressed, and may accommodate or
resist such oppression. The importance of boundaries as a concept
is that it simultaneously expresses a basic commonality in the divi-
sions between the sexes, while at the same time permitting analysis
of differences and change in patterns of gender experience. There
may be large boundaries, as between work and leisure, public and
private, but also smaller ones regulating, for example, the domestic
division of labour or talk and no-talk zones in the marital con-
versation (Benjamin, 1995). These intersections are significant in an
analysis of gender relations since they demarcate normative behav-
iours and attitudes, and permit the identification of points of
dynamic change when they are shifted. The relationship between the
three elements in respect of change is summarised by Gerson and
Peiss thus:
[C]hanges in gender relations occur along the three dimensions ofboundaries, negotiation/domination and consciousness; change
in any one variable elicits change in the other two. (1985: 327)
Thus negotiation may permit adjustment of boundaries either pre-
ceded, accompanied or followed by an alteration in consciousness
Relational resources
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(1985: 323). What we have tried to do in this study is to provide, in
an inevitably limited way, an empirical model of this theoretical
conception, operationalized in terms of interpersonal skills, marital
communication and the domestic division of labour. As referred to
above, however, we were also interested in the interaction of these
factors with the more conventionally-analysed differentials in mate-
rial resources, and the combination of all these factors gives us the
following working model, in which both the theoretical concepts
and the corresponding measured variables (shown in italics) are
indicated:
Data and method
The model suggested above requires assessment of the association
between exposure to a particular ideological environment (thera-
peutic discourse) and relational resources capable of facilitating the
successful negotiation of change within intimate relationships. It
was hypothesized that women with the most systematic exposure to
such discourse would be professional women who came into contact
with it through their employment. In order to fairly compare access
to relational resources between women it was therefore necessary to
select other professional women as a comparison group. Hence theanalyses presented here are based on professional women with dif-
ferential exposures to therapeutic discourse.1 An additional consid-
eration in this selection was that the evidence for change in
domestic division of labour is currently still relatively limited, and it
is precisely among such groups of middle-class employed profes-
Orly Benjamin and Oriel Sullivan
800 The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999
gender consciousness
relational resources(= interpersonal skills)
structural resources
(= material circumstances)
negotiation in maritalrelationships: possibility of
boundary shifting(= communication/domestic
division of labour)
Figure 1 Working model of relationships
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sional women that there is the most evidence in the literature for
increased levels of male participation (Edgell, 1980; Gilbert and
Dancer, 1992; Gershuny et al, 1994). By controlling in this broad
way for occupational status, a more refined analysis can be per-
formed, relating both to differences in exposure to institutional level
forces (therapeutic discourse) and to differences in relational and
structural resources (such as years in full-time employment). The
method of sampling was thus based upon theoretical considerations
relating to the underlying conceptual model (theoretical sam-
pling).2
The data presented come from a study conducted in England in
199192, further details of which may be found in Benjamin (1995).
Four groups of professional women were sent detailed mail ques-
tionnaires, and, based upon their responses to this questionnaire,
some were subsequently interviewed in depth. This multi-method
approach is, we would argue, important if one plans to work at dif-
ferent levels of analysis, and in the analyses presented below differ-
ent methods were used to address and clarify different parts of the
model outlined above. In general, the survey material was used to
investigate exposure to therapeutic discourse, self-assessed interper-
sonal communication skills, and changes in the pattern of the
domestic division of labour, while the in-depth interview material
was used to assess womens experience of detailed negotiation and
transformation of boundaries in respect both of marital communi-
cation and the domestic division of labour.
The initial consideration in the selection of specific groups of
qualified professional women for the survey was to attempt to max-
imise the contrast between women who come into contact with
therapeutic discourse as part of their professional lives, and those
who are materially similar, but whose contact with therapeutic dis-
course would only be informally based. On the basis of these con-
siderations marriage guidance counsellors (with strong professional
exposure in both training and practice to therapeutic discourse)
were selected to be compared with chartered accountants (with little
professional exposure). Head teachers (with as little professional
training as chartered accountants but the probability of more infor-
mal exposure) and social workers (with some exposure through pro-fessional training, but not so much as marriage guidance
counsellors) completed the range.
All the women were aged between 35 and 50. It has been argued
that at these ages the parenting of young children is less likely to be
exerting strong pressure towards forming traditional gender roles
Relational resources
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(eg La Rossa and La Rossa, 1984), and there is evidence in the psy-
chological literature to suggest that the mid-life years are particu-
larly amenable to change regarding gender roles (eg Friedman,
1993). Following an initial pilot exercise the mail questionnaire was
sent to 1140 women aged between 35 and 50 in the four different
professions, who were contacted via their workplaces or profes-
sional organizations. Information was sought on aspects of employ-
ment (including training involving communicative skills), financial
situation, relationship history, domestic division of labour in the
household (including attempts at change), feelings about current
relationships, exposure to self-help or psychology literature and
self-assessed interpersonal communicative skills. Altogether 408
questionnaires were returned (an overall 36% response rate within
the range to be expected from the initial return to a postal question-
naire survey ranging from 28% from head teachers to 51% from
chartered accountants).3
Table 1 shows the general characteristics of the sample in respect
of employment (full-time or part-time employed), age (under 42 years
or older), mean age of youngest child and current partnership status
(no current partner, first live-in partner or second live-in partner).
It is evident that there are some structural differences between the
different occupations in respect of these characteristics. Of particu-
lar relevance to a discussion of change in the domestic division of
labour is the fact that chartered accountants are on average
younger, while head teachers and social workers are more likely to
be employed full-time than are the other groups. According to the
literature on the relationship between structural factors and change
in domestic division of labour, we would expect to find a more equal
division of domestic labour in the households of younger and full-
time employed women (see, for instance, Gershuny, 1995). We
return to a discussion of this point in the following section of the
paper, and simply note here that although there are important
structural differentials between the occupational groups, the expec-
tations which we would have about the consequences of these differ-
ences based on the existing literature on structural difference and
the domestic division of labour are not borne out in any particularly
clear way in the analyses that follow.The depth interviews were conducted with women on the basis of
their responses to questions in the survey (including willingness to
be interviewed). According to responses to questions about
attempts to change domestic arrangements, six categories of women
were identified for interviewing. These ranged from those reporting
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successful attempts at change, through those unsuccessfully
attempting change, to those who reported never attempting change.
Altogether 28 women (13 marriage counsellors, 3 social workers, 2
head teachers and 10 chartered accountants)4 were interviewed in
detail about their relationships (focusing particularly on housework
and patterns of communication), their communication skills, their
attempts at changing aspects of their relationships, and their experi-
ence of processes of change where this had been attempted and/or
achieved. It was from these interviews that information about nego-
tiation and transformation of boundaries in marital communication
and the domestic division of labour was collated.
Relational resources
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Table 1 General characteristics of the sample by occupation
Marriage Social Head Chartered
counsellors workers teachers accountants
% % % %
Part time employed 78 30 2 37
(103) (20) (1) (56)
Full-time employed 22 70 98 63
(29) (47) (54) (98)
N 100% 132 67 55 154
Mean of full time years* 14.5 9.8 19.0 15.0
Under 42 years 28 42 38 74
(37) (28) (21) (114)
42 and older 72 59 62 26
(95) (39) (34) (40)
N 100% 132 67 55 154
Mean age of youngest child 15.0 13.8 12.8 7.9
No present partner 9 22 27 8
(12) (14) (15) (13)
First live-in partner 70 51 58 77
(92) (34) (32) (118)
Second live-in partner 21 28 15 15
(28) (19) (8) (23)
N 100% 132 67 55 154
*Calculated only for women currently in full-time employment
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Findings
Therapeutic discourse and relational resources
The first connection within the proposed model relates to the extent
of exposure to therapeutic discourse, and the association between
this and the level of relational resources among the different groups
of women. The investigation of this association constitutes the first
step before moving on to investigate the relationship between rela-
tional resources and negotiation and boundary change in aspects of
the marital relationship.
Table 2 shows the proportions of the four groups of professional
women who had attended a relationship/interaction focused course
(including the marriage guidance training course, another coun-
selling or psychotherapy course and/or communication/assertive-
ness courses); had experience of personal or marital counselling;
and who had some familiarity with the self-help literature.
There are some strong relationships evident between exposure
and occupation. All of the marriage guidance counsellors received
the Relate counselling training course (including basic counselling,
supervision and education skills), which was considered to be thestrongest average indicator of exposure. On the other hand, nearly
80% of chartered accountants had no exposure to the various kinds
of courses recorded here. This major differential is reflected in the
other two types of exposure, with marriage counsellors being the
most likely to receive personal counselling (over 50%, compared to
9% of chartered accountants) and the most likely to have read sev-
eral self-help books (nearly 70% reporting themselves as having
read more than a few compared to just 3% of chartered accoun-tants). Social workers and head teachers occupy intermediate posi-
tions with respect to all three types of exposure, with social workers
tending to have higher levels of exposure than head teachers. With
regard to the translation of this exposure into relational resources
there is previous evidence to suggest that marriage guidance train-
ing in particular leads counsellors to adopt a more analytic
approach to their own marriages (Walker and Baird, 1988), which
in turn tended to improve some aspects of their marital relation-ships (Morgan, 1992; Walker and Baird, 1988). The qualifications
for social work in England is not as directed at counselling skills as
the training for marriage guidance, but nevertheless involves train-
ing in relevant areas such as communication skills, decision-making
and evaluation. Collins and Collins (1992: 57) have explicitly
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Table 2 Exposure to therapeutic discourse by occupation
a) Number of respondents who had taken various relationship related courses
Marriage Social Head Chartered
counsellors workers teachers accountants
Relate* training course
(basic counselling,supervision, education) 132
Assertiveness course 10 12 6 11
Communication course 9 3 13 12
Counselling course
other than Relate 20 13 1 10
Psychotherapy course 5 12 1
% of respondents whoreceived any of the above 100 60 38 21
N 132 67 55 154
*Relate is the name of the main marriage guidance organization in Britain
b) Number of respondents with exposure to personal and marital counselling
Marriage Social Head Chartered
counsellors workers teachers accountants
Had personal counselling 69 27 8 14
Of these who didnt have
personal counselling
had marital counselling 9 3 3 12
% of respondents who
received any of the above 59 45 21 17
N 132 67 55 154
c) Number of respondents reporting familiarity with self-help literature*
Marriage Social Head Chartered
counsellors workers teachers accountants
Read no such books 2 1 11 104
(2) (2) (3) (68)
Read only one 2 5
(2) (3)
Read a few 36 43 29 40(28) (70) (66) (26)
Read more than a fe w 90 18 4 4
(69) (29) (9) (3)
N 132 67 55 154
Of these who read any
% who reported it was
useful 81 48 32 29
*The numbers in brackets are the percentages of the relevant occupational category
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referred to the development of reflection, self-disclosure, challeng-
ing, emotional support and the promotion of change as part of the
social workers practice skills. In contrast, neither head teachers nor
chartered accountants receive any formal training in counselling or
communication skills (although opportunities for such training are
usually available to head teachers in the course of their careers),
with more stress in both professions increasingly being placed on
the development of management skills.
Following on from this, Table 3 shows the self-assessment (on a 5-
point scale) of interpersonal skills from the mail questionnaire for
the different groups of women. In accord with expectations based
on the above information on occupational exposure, marriage coun-
sellors and social workers reported higher levels of control than
head teachers and chartered accountants over the following skills:
effective communication of self-interest; effective communication in
delicate situations; awareness of own emotions and approval of
open conflict in relationships.
There is support here for the idea that exposure to therapeutic
discourse is distinctly different for women in different professional
occupations, and that this exposure is associated with the acquisi-
tion of the relational resources which we hypothesize are useful to
the negotiation of boundaries regulating aspects of the marital rela-
tionship.
Relational resources and change
Having indicated an association between exposure to therapeutic
discourse and the development of relational resources, Table 4 below
examines the main link in the model; that between levels of rela-tional resources and reported success in the achievement of change
in marital relationships. Change applies here both in the more con-
ventionally measured area of the domestic division of labour and in
respect of marital communication. The index of relational resources
used in the table has been constructed from five Likert-scale ques-
tions on the questionnaire which deal with interpersonal skills such
as how effective a woman feels she is at communicating her own
interests (see Table 3) and how easy she finds it to go against herpartners opinions/expectations. The index ranges from one to five,
and its overall mean is 2.8. The categories relating to attempts to
change aspects of the marital relationship are constructed with
reference to three dimensions for both marital communication and
the domestic division of labour: attempted/didnt want to change;
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success/disappointment following attempts at change; and degree of
partners cooperation in an aspect where change was not sought.
These categories are shown ranked in Table 4 according to the mean
relational resource score associated with each.6 The table shows that
no successful attempts to introduce change in either communication
or housework are found within the lowest eight category means (ie
where mean relational resources were less than the overall mean),
while in all the remaining categories except one, women reported
success in changing at least one aspect of their marital relationship
either the domestic division of labour or marital communication or
both (refer to italics in the table).
We have some support in the correlation shown in Table 4 for the
connection in the model between the level of relational resources
and the accomplishment of change in aspects of the marital rela-
tionship. But how might such change actually be achieved on the
micro-level? The qualitative interviews provide us with information
about change in the interactional context. In particular, they yield
insights into the negotiation of boundaries governing both commu-
nication (eg talk/no-talk zones) and housework (her responsibil-
ities).
Relational resources
The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999 807
Table 3 Comparison of means of self-reported interpersonal skills
by occupation
Mean for Mean for
MC and SW HT and CA T-Value
Effective communication of
self-interests 3.8 3.3 4.96**
Effective communication in
delicate situations 3.5 3.0 6.28**
Awareness of ones own emotions 4.1 3.6 6.51**
Approval of open conflict in
relationship 3.7 2.9 6.70**
N 199 209
Key: MCmarriage guidance counsellors; SW social workers;
HT head teachers; CA chartered accountants
(note: the means of the occupational groups are combined due to small sample
numbers)
**statistical significance of difference
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The negotiation of change: shifting boundaries
Authors in the field of marital negotiation emphasize its mostly
implicit and unspoken nature (eg Backett, 1982; Luxton, 1986;
Hochschild, 1989). Askhams 1985 study presented one possibleexplanation for this pattern: apparently, all marital conversations
exclude certain issues which are perceived by the couple (the man,
the woman or both) to endanger the relationship. Womens respon-
sibility for housework is perceived, within the context of traditional
gender ideologies, to be part of the cultural given. Explicit conversa-
tion on this topic is therefore both redundant and dangerous.
Discussing housework (outside the gendered allocation of com-
plaining entitlements, where women may complain about theirpartners failure to properly provide and men may complain about
their partners failure to provide them with appropriate services
Tomaskovic-Devey, 1989) is therefore tantamount to a challenge of
the relationship itself. In Hochschilds terminology it upsets the deli-
cate balance of the couples economy of gratitude (Hochschild,
1989).
The interviews conducted in this study support Askhams argu-
ment: most interviewees showed how they could not bring theirpartner to discuss certain issues, at least for a substantial part of
their relationship. For some of them this was because they had
assumed there would be a negative emotional effect on the relation-
ship, which they preferred to avoid. For others, this inability to dis-
cuss things had to do with negative past experiences. That is, events
in which they tried to voice their concerns and encountered a force-
ful attack, withdrawal or ridicule. Of the twenty-eight marital con-
versations which were described, seventeen excluded housework as atopic for open conversation. These cases included six interviewees
for whom housework remained excluded despite attempts to bring it
into the marital conversation. On the basis of this analysis and par-
ticularly because of the implications of this exclusion for the possi-
bility of change in this area, it seemed that a boundary in Gerson
and Peisss (1985) terms was being reported.
Housework was of course not the only issue excluded by a
boundary within the marital conversation. For quite a few couplesdiscussing topics related to the relationship itself was also impossi-
ble. Fifteen of the interviewees described their marital conversation
as regulated by this boundary, which excluded intimacy and emo-
tional support from the marital conversation. Seven of the women
who reported facing this boundary described events in which they
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The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999 809
Table 4 Means of relational resources index for 16 categories of
experience of change in marital situation
Experience of change in marital situation Relational resources index
Grand mean 2.8 N
Tried to change ddl. but remained disappointed,
didnt want to change com. cooperative partner. 2.0 6
Tried to change ddl. but remained disappointed,
didnt want to change com. despite lack of
cooperation. 2.4 11
Didnt want to change ddl. despite lack of
cooperation and tried to change com. but
remained disappointed. 2.5 41
Didnt want to change ddl. despite lack of
cooperation and didnt want to change com.despite lack of cooperation. 2.6 19
Tried to change ddl. but remained disappointed,
tried to change com. but remained disappointed. 2.6 68
Didnt want to change ddl. cooperative partner,
didnt want to change com. despite lack of
cooperation. 2.7 10
Didnt want to change ddl. cooperative partner,
didnt want to change com. cooperative partner. 2.7 18Didnt want to change ddl. despite lack of
cooperation, didnt want to change com.
cooperative partner. 2.8 23
Wanted and managed to change ddl., didnt want
to change com. despite lack of cooperation. 2.8 10
Tried to change ddl. but remained disappointed
and wanted and managed to change com. 2.9 30
Wanted and managed to change ddl. and tried tochange com. but remained disappointed. 2.9 40
Wanted and managed to change ddl. and didnt
want to change com. cooperative partner. 2.9 8
Didnt want to change ddl. despite lack of
cooperation, wanted and managed to change com. 3.0 30
Didnt want to change ddl. cooperative partner
and tried to change com. but remained
disappointed. 3.0 11
Wanted and managed to change ddl. and wanted
and managed to change com. 3.0 49
Didnt want to change ddl. cooperative partner,
wanted and managed to change com. 3.1 21
Key: ddl. domestic division of labour; com. marital communication
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tried to challenge it but were unsuccessful. Their partners responses
protected the boundary against any attempt to shift it.
However, as was indicated in the previous section, some of the
women interviewed in this study did describe achieving what
could be regarded as a successful shift of boundaries. Issues (eg
housework) which earlier in the relationship could not be dis-
cussed were brought by the interviewees into the marital conver-
sation in a way which enabled that issue to be discussed, and
often this seemed to enable change in the related aspect of the
relationship. For seven women this process of shifting the bound-
aries involved the rejection of previous norms delegitimizing the
expression of anger. For example, one woman who succeeded in
achieving change said:
. . . You know good girls dont shout . . . I was a good girl. But
now, anything like . . . being late or breaking the rule of the house
or disobeying can raise my anger . . .
. . . with my first marriage we never raised our voices, we never
ever had a row or anything like that. But here we have wonderful
rows. Banging on the table. There isnt any . . . neither of us are
scared to show his or her anger . . .
In this household once banging on the table became a possibility, a
range of previously excluded issues appeared to become available
for discussion. The respondent felt that this possibility enabled her
to take a more active role in shaping the marital conversation, and
the concrete household arrangements which emerged from it.
Five other women experienced boundary shifting in respect of
housework as part of an increased awareness of the nature of their
communication with their partners. For these women often the most
important first change was that involving bringing their partners to
the realisation that a change in communication was needed. Once
their partners were convinced on that point, the old boundaries
around housework started to weaken. This example is illustrative:
Interviewer: I asked you whether you have been trying to change
the situation and you said you did. May I ask you how? Whatdid you do?
Communicated how I felt about it.
Interviewer: Like saying youre angry or what?
Yes, or like saying why is it always expected that I should do it?
you know I wasnt actually born with a hoover in my hand . . .
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I think it was needing to get the message across that because I
do it it doesnt always mean to say that I like doing it . . .
The interview material shows that these efforts to get the message
across is a major part of the process by which boundaries are
shifted, and change can occur. The possibility of bringing previ-
ously excluded topics into the marital conversation enables women
to take an active role in shaping their domestic arrangements as well
as other aspects of their relationships.
An important additional element in linking changes of the kinds
described above to the possession of relational resources is the sub-
jective assessment of the respondents in respect of the reasons for
their success or otherwise in initiating change. Table 3 above identi-
fied that women with greater access to therapeutic discourse through
their work (marriage guidance counsellors and social workers)
report themselves as equipped with greater interpersonal skills. But
to what extent do women in these occupations attribute their ability
to negotiate and change aspects of their relationships to the impact
of the relational resources acquired through their professional lives?
These acquired resources were directly perceived by some women as
contributing to the successful negotiation of change in their maritalrelationships. For instance, of the thirteen marriage guidance coun-
sellors interviewed, three confidently related a significant change in
their marital relationships to their counselling training, while
another six described changes they had experienced as being related
primarily to individual therapy (often undertaken during or as a
consequence of the Relate training). Some descriptions of this
process include:
Interviewer: Why do you say that [your partner] has changed a
lot?
Because he was a lot more selfish maybe I was too but I
think he was, and Ive told him that, and these are the things
weve been able to discuss and communicate you see. (marriage
guidance counsellor)
So I was getting a lot of training from outside about feelings
and what makes us react to things. And I was able to use thatin my relationship. I was growing up because of what I was
learning from outside. (social worker)
So it seems that some women (9 of 13 marriage guidance counsel-
lors, for example) do directly attribute the accomplishment of
Relational resources
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change to specific skills acquired through their professional careers.
This conclusion is supported in the survey data, where of 230
respondents who reported that it had become easier to go against
their partners expectations, more than half (N 130) related the
change to the impact of their occupational life. Of those who made
this connection, 60% were either marriage guidance counsellors or
social workers.
We cannot of course (nor do we wish to) claim any necessary or
invariant causality here. Some women reported that they were able
to use interpersonal skills acquired in this way in order to achieve
significant changes in both their marital communication and in
their partners participation in domestic work. However, there were
also a few women who received an extensive occupational exposure
to therapeutic discourse yet who perceived that they had failed at
introducing change at the concrete level of household arrangements
into their relationships despite trying (n 3). All these women had
low levels of material resources a point we will return to below. On
the other hand one woman (a successful chartered accountant expe-
riencing upward mobility in her profession) who had not received
any such exposure, reported that she had tried and been successful
in achieving change. This diversity at the level of individual house-
holds only illustrates the complexity of attempting to provide an
understanding of change in an area where dimensions of power,
intimacy, material resources and individual histories are deeply
embedded and mutually interconnected. We only hope to provide
some evidence in support of our argument that specific institu-
tional-level influences can play a significant role in the development
of individual relational resources, and that such resources constitute
one important element in the negotiation of change in aspects of the
marital relationship. Other elements are also of course significant,
two obvious examples being partners previous history of relation-
ships (there is increasing evidence that there may be more equality
in second marriages: Ishii-Kuntz and Coltrane, 1992; Pyke and
Coltrane, 1996; Sullivan, 1997), and the impact of structural factors
such as employment history and relative income.
Structural and relational resources
In illustration of the interconnectedness between some of these ele-
ments we return here to a question raised earlier concerning the rela-
tionship between structural and relational resources. There is in fact
an interesting inversion evident in this sample between levels of struc-
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tural resources and those of relational resources. Marriage guidance
counsellors and social workers, who have the highest levels of rela-
tional resources, score lower than head teachers and chartered
accountants on a range of measures of material resources: income;
financial circumstances of the family of origin; number of years in
full-time employment; paid hours per week. It appears that high lev-
els of relational resources go together in this particular sample of
professional women with lower levels of access to material resources.
This relationship can be seen in Figure 2, where material and rela-
tional resources are graphed together with a more conventional indi-
cator of relative gender power in households; partners participation
in domestic work.7 A word of explanation is required about the cal-
culation of the indices. The index of relational resources is the one
introduced in a previous section (p. 807). The index of material
resources was based on four components: the respondents income;
the number of weekly hours in paid employment; the number of
years spent in the profession; and the financial situation of the
respondents family of origin. The index of partners participation is
based on a question which asks, for seven feminine-associated
tasks8 (Goldsheider and Waite, 1991), who does that task as part of
the daily household routine. In respect of the relationship between
material and relational resources, it can clearly be seen that those
Relational resources
The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999 813
*
**
*
*
75.3572.46
0.49
3.433.390.61
3.76
33.72
0.72
4.05
0.62
13.46
material resources
relational resources
partners participation
Figure 2 Relational resources, material resources and partners
participation in domestic work
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professional groups with the lowest access to material resources are
those with the highest access to relational resources. When the index
of partners participation is added an interesting effect is evident.
There appears to be a slight positive association between the level of
material resources and partners participation over the first three
groups, but chartered accountants, whose material resources are the
greatest, report the lowest levels of partners participation. This raises
an interesting question, since in general in research in this area it is
found that higher levels of partners participation in domestic work is
associated with higher levels of womens material resources. There is
clearly a more complex relationship involved, to which other factors,
including relational resources and perhaps selection effects into dif-
ferent occupations (see, for instance, Crompton, 1996), are likely to
be making a contribution. Looking at the relationship between part-
ners participation and relational resources, the two professions with
the highest levels of relational resources have intermediate levels of
partners participation according to these indices, while head teach-
ers, with levels of relational resources equivalent to chartered accoun-
tants have in fact the highest levels of partners participation.
In the face of this somewhat inconclusive macro-level relation-
ship, we felt it to be important to directly consider the effects of
relational resources while holding constant a measure of material
resources in multivariate analysis. In other words, what is the effect
of relational resources on partners participation at different levels
of material resources? Table 5 shows an example of such an analysis.
The multiple classification analysis from a non-hierarchical analysis
of variance is presented, in which the measure of material resources
used is the number of years in full-time employment, while rela-
tional resources are dichotomised into low and high categories
(above and below the mean value of the index of relational
resources). The dependent variable is, as above, the index of part-
ners participation in domestic work. The adjusted deviations show
that, while holding constant the effect of years in full-time employ-
ment, there is still a significant difference in the expected direction
according to whether womens level of relational resources are high
(where the level of partners participation is found to be above the
mean) or low (where it is below the mean).In other words, irrespective of the material resources measured
where womens relational resources are higher their partners make
on average a greater contribution to domestic work. An examina-
tion of the category means shows that the difference is particularly
marked for those women who have been in full-time employment
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for ten years or more. In other words, the impact of relational
resources is higher when the level of material resources is also high.
This reinforcement effect between material and relational resource
derives theoretical support from the assessment that: (gender) con-
sciousness . . . is the outcome of processes of negotiation and domi-
nation as well as the result of womens structural location.
. . . (It) influences processes of negotiation and domination, and
ultimately, the boundaries shaping gender relations (Gerson and
Peiss, 1985: 325) (our italics).
Conclusion
The main argument of this study is that the concepts of relational
resources and gender consciousness have an important contribution
to make to our understanding of processes of change in marital rela-
tionships. Although the evidence can only be considered prelimi-
nary, we found that women from occupational groups with high
levels of exposure to therapeutic discourse (in professional training,
personal counselling, reading etc) are more likely to report them-
selves as having acquired specific interpersonal skills through theiroccupations. Moreover, combinations of these interpersonal skills
(relational resources) were associated with the successful challenging
of normative boundaries regulating both the communicative sphere
within marriage and the material arena of the division of domestic
labour. Many women attributed such success to their professionally
Relational resources
The Editorial Board of The Sociological Review 1999 815
Table 5 Multiple classification analysis from analysis of variance;
dependent variable index of partners participation in domestic
work
Grand Mean.62Adjusted
N Deviation Beta P-value*
Years of full-time work
No full-time experience 179 .09
Up to 10 years 59 .10
10 or more years 163 .13 .27 .000
Level of relational resources
High 240 .04
Low 161 .05 .11 .031
*See note 5
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derived interpersonal skills, and in in-depth interviews some
described the process whereby they had achieved the successful chal-
lenging of boundaries through the use of such skills. In addition, the
possibilities of transformation in marital relationships in one of
these areas (the division of domestic labour) appeared to be influ-
enced by a reinforcement of relational resources and material
resources, such that those women with high levels of both material
and relational resources were more likely to have more participatory
partners.
In part, this paper was prompted by Gerson and Peisss call
(Gerson and Peiss, 1985) for more research into the processes by
which gender consciousness develops of recedes. Such conscious-
ness, according to Thompson, 1993, constitutes a central compo-
nent in our understanding of womens attempts at change, and in
connected here with the argument advanced by Giddens (1991,
1992) among others, that exposure to expert systems of knowledge
about self and relationships can serve to enhance reflexivity and
control over relationships with others. We have argued that the
accomplishment of change in these areas is connected to an
enabling gender consciousness, which may also derive from the
same exposure. The approach presented here therefore connects on
one level with research on gender ideologies and the transformation
of intimacy (eg Giddens, 1992; Cancian, 1987), and on another with
research on the links between housework and levels of intimacy/
communication at the individual household level (Thompson, 1993;
Zvonkovic, 1996; Sanchez and Kane, 1996; Pyke and Coltrane,
1996). We have recognised the complexity of the different levels of
analysis that are involved in a study of this kind by stressing
throughout the interconnectedness of the relationships between
resources, intimacy, power and their material expression in indica-
tors such as the division of domestic labour. We believe that it is
necessary to take on directly the challenge of doing research at the
interface of the institutional and interactional levels of analysis in
order to move forward in this area. This approach is, we believe, not
only justifiable from the theoretical literature on gender relations,
but is centrally constitutive though one only rarely taken on in
empirical studies.In terms of further research, while the analysis here has been
restricted to a specific group of women chosen for particular theo-
retical reasons, other models connecting possibilities of transforma-
tion in marital relationships relating both to gender consciousness
and to material and/or relational resources could clearly also be
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postulated and examined. In addition little attention has been given
in this paper to the detailed relationship between the two aspects of
marital relationships examined (the domestic division of labour and
marital communication), despite the recognition that these dimen-
sions are strongly interconnected. The qualitative data suggest that
housework becomes negotiable in conditions where marital com-
munication provides a framework for the open discussion of house-
work-related feelings. More likely, though, the causal connections
are not as straight-forward as this implies, and further research is
needed in order to clarify these relationships. Finally, the examina-
tion of negotiation and communication in marital relationships
should of course ideally include information from both partners in
the relationship. In this study, since the particular interest was on
the acquisition of resources derived from specific discourses, it was
decided (for reasons of manageability) to focus only on professional
women. The analyses presented here therefore provide information
on womens perceptions of their experiences, but research which
included similar information for both men and women in other sta-
tuses would constitute an important further step in our understand-
ing of these processes.
Bar Ilan University and Received 20 November 1997
Ben Gurion University of the Nagev Finally accepted 16 March 1999
Acknowledgements
The author would like to thank Professors Julia Brannen and Jonathan Gershuny for
advice and inspiration.
Notes
1 We are aware that there is evidence for differential sorting into occupations, and of
the existence of different occupational subcultures (see Kanter, 1977). However,
as the analyses below demonstrate, there is evidence for the direct effect (at least as
perceived by the women themselves) of skills developed as part of occupational
training.
2 We have therefore tried to keep the use of techniques of analysis relying on statisti-
cal significance to a minimum, since their use implies probability sampling.
3 On the issue of whether the response balance attracted any specific pattern regard-ing attempts to change the division of domestic labour, results were compared to
previous studies concerning mens domestic participation, and in this respect the
sample resembled representative samples.
4 Marriage guidance counsellors and chartered accountants were focused upon,
since these were thought to provide the main contrast in respect to exposure to
therapeutic discourse.
Relational resources
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5 Strictly speaking, the use of tests of statistical significance with a non-probability
sample is not justified. Readers should bear in mind that they are included here for
descriptive purposes only.
6 Although this classification produces a table with a large number of categories, we
did not want to lose the richness of the full description of womens successes anddisappointments in their attempts to change different areas of their relationships.
7 This indicator is used in order to be able to refer more directly to previous research
which deals with the relationship between womens material resources and the
domestic division of labour.
8 These tasks are: cooking, child-care, washing, cleaning, shopping, planning meals
and planning shopping.
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Orly Benjamin and Oriel Sullivan