Only Human22

8/14/2019 Only Human22

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Chapter 22

Title: Only Human (22/27)

Author: Amethyst Jackson

Rating: M/NC-17

Category: Drama, Angst, Romance

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Summary: A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

Disclaimer: All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I’m just having a little fun.

A/N: We're visiting vampire! Edward this chapter for a short reprieve.

It had taken three weeks of working and saving, and then begging my mother to lend me the rest,

but I had done it. I finally had enough money to put a ring on Bella’s finger. It wouldn’t be much,

but I knew she wouldn’t mind, and besides, I would buy her a better one someday. This was about

making it official. Making her mine in the eyes of the world.

The small jewelry store didn’t look like much, but a friend at work had recommended it, and it

was in my price range.

The clerk, a dark-haired man in his thirties with a mustache that curled at the ends, smiled when I entered. It wasn’t really a friendly smile; rather, the smile of someone who had just locked on a

target.

“How may I help you today, young man?” he asked. “Looking for a special present for your

s weetheart, perhaps?”



The idea amused me. My sweetheart. Bella was so much more. “I’m looking for an engagement

ring, actually.”

“ Ah,” he smiled knowingly as if I’d just shared some secret. “We have a fine selection of rings,” he

went on, pulling a tray out of a case for me to browse from. “See if there’s anything you like here.”

There were diamonds, rows and rows of diamonds in different shapes and sizes, different

arrangements on different bands, but none of them were quite right. Bella wasn’t a diamond, some

shiny, pretty little thing to be thrust under noses at parties and oozed and shed over. She was

something much better.

“Do you have anything more…unique?”

His expression registered surprise, but he didn’t voice it; instead he reached for another tray.

“Perhaps one of these will suit you better.”

There were more diamonds, but other stones, too – configurations of rubies, pearls, opals…they all

seemed too garish or too…girlish for Bella. She was a woman who deserved a woman’s rin g.

When my eyes landed on the sapphire, practically hidden off to the side, I knew it was the one.

Deep and elegant, small but powerful…it was very much Bella.

“That’s the one.”

Her acceptance of the ring was so laughably easy that I almost felt offended…a lmost. But I could

see in her eyes what my human heart didn’t want to acknowledge – the fear, the guilt, the sadness.

Even though I remained blissfully unaware in the past, Bella knew what was coming, and she

wouldn’t dare ruin my last human memories arguing about rings and weddings. I was grateful for it,

because in those memories, I was blissfully happy. Nearly as happy as I’d been when I saw Bella

walking down the aisle to me.

I wondered if she had any idea how close the end was. I had weakened as a vampire September

29th. Nine days, including the transformation, from my best count, unless she somehow changed

the past. But could she? If I wasn’t changed at that precise moment, would I be sitting here reliving

the memories now? It was…impossible. More impossible than vampires or werewolves or wish-

induced time-traveling.

I’d never seen my father ill before. He’d been healthy every day of his life, as far as I knew. My

mother was afraid; I could see it every time I went to check on them. Bella was always there,

holding my hand, but I knew she felt as helpless as I did.

“…he keeps asking for you…” My mother’s voice faded to the background as I thought of climbing

those stairs and walking into that room, but I made myself do it somehow. He was so incredibly

pale, white as the sheets beneath him, but he forced a smile for me.

“Father…”



“Edward, I want to…apologize.” A cough. “We always think we know how our children’s lives

should go.” Another cough. “You do what makes you happy, Edward. Don’t waste a moment you

h ave with her.”

“Come now, Father,” I said, trying to lighten the mood, “tomorrow you’ll be feeling back to

normal and get straight back to telling me what to do again.”

His laugh turned into a long cough. He held a handkerchief to his mouth, muffling the awful

hacking sound. When he pulled his hand away, the cloth was stained with blood. I could only stare

in horror.

“This isn’t an ordinary summer cold, Edward. You should…prepare yourself for the worst.”

I felt sick all over at how easily my father discussed his own death. He was serious, and I wanted it

to be a joke.

“Take care of your mother,” he went on. “And hold on to Bella. Nothing has ever motivated you

like she does. Elizabeth was right…she’s exactly what you need.”

I swallowed past the lump in my th roat and tears burned my eyes. “Father…I…”

He smiled; it looked like an effort. “Run along now, son. You needn’t stay and listen to me

cough.”

I realized with horror that he was trying to spare me the pain of watching him die, and then I had

to flee. This was impossible. He was young. He was healthy. Impossible.

It was a strange memory to relive. Ever since I’d been changed, I’d struggled to remember what it

felt like to cry. Now, as I re-experienced falling into Bella’s arms in grief, I could feel the tears

running and the wonderful sensation of release and cleansing that went along with them.

I felt…peace. For the longest time, I had been left in the dark, wondering what my parents were

like, how I had interacted with them…my remaining memories had never been enough to fully

answer those questions, and I had been left unable to grieve for what I had lost – how could I

grieve for people I didn’t know?

Now I could confirm things I’d only been told or had to guess at before – that my mother was kind

and perceptive and loved me dearly. That my father approved of my choices. That I was happy

and loved.

And now I had the benefit of knowing they loved my Bella. I hoped they would be proud now to

see that I had tried to make the best of this life I’d been given, and that I had found some kind of

redemption in love.

“I think sometimes, destiny has something bigger in mind than most of us can ever see, and

sometimes, these things that seem so unfair and so wrong can serve a higher purpose.”



My past self hadn’t felt the full meaning of her words, but I did. I had lost a great deal when the

Spanish flu struck – my family, my dreams – but I had eventually gained something greater. Her .

And for the first time, seeing my previous mortality anew, I felt lucky to trade in a human lifetime

for an eternity with the woman I loved.

It was harder and harder to remain in the painful memories, but I did, determined to watch Bella until I had her back in my arms. And she surprised me. My Bella had a large, loving heart, and she

grew attached to people easily. I knew my family was no exception, and I expected, as they began

to pass, that I would need to comfort her. But she never cracked. She was the one to comfort me,

to calm me, to care for my mother, even to cook when the servants needed the sleep. I felt a swell

of pride, seeing her so strong and capable, so…grown-up. And yet it came with a strange unease,

forcing me to wonder what had inspired that strength…and I had to admit that I wanted her to

need me in difficult times.

My memories soon turned dark again. Bella’s care had done a great deal to improve my state of

mind since my father’s death, but everything turned on its head when I walked into my mother’s

room to find her in the state my father had died in.

I’d never been so scared in my life. I hated to leave my mother alone in the hospital, but the

doctors gave me no choice. I could only turn to Bella once more, though I felt guilty placing so

much of my burden upon her. I couldn’t help it. She was all I had, and I needed h er strength.

“…don’t think,” She said, “Just feel. Focus on here and now.”

And her lips made me forget everything. I knew I should stop; I had promised I would treat her

the way she deserved. But she was offering everything, and I didn’t want to let go of the feeling her

warm kisses gave me.

I was nervous. My knowledge about this intimate act was incredibly limited – I simply knew the

basics of which parts went where. I’d always avoided hearing about it when the boys at school

would joke and laugh about their experiences. My father had told me it was nothing I needed to

know about until my wedding night, and so he’d refrained from explaining…and now he never

would.

Bella seemed to know enough for the both of us, but I didn’t ask how. If she had been with

som eone else before, I didn’t want to know, and I didn’t know if there was a way to tell. That was

one of the things I’d never learned. What mattered was that she was mine now, in my arms and

wearing my ring, and she loved me enough to stay with me in this terrible time.

Her body was the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on, more beautiful than any Grecian goddess, more beautiful than any Italian master had ever painted. I could revel in her skin for

hours, trace the soft curves of her breasts and hips, delight in her trembling form.

She showed me where to touch her, and I felt the most powerful surge of arousal at the sight of her

reaction, her open mouth as she gasped and the arch of her back. My finger slipped into her

opening, and the feeling of her flesh all around me drove me past the point of waiting. I needed to

be within her so desperately, but I didn’t know how to voice that desire.



She seemed to know without being told, and somehow, through my fumbling and embarrassment,

I still found myself in her arms, inside of her, into the greatest, most blissful feeling I’d ever known.

The images in my mind were so vivid, so fresh that I was surprised not to find myself sweating with

the intensity. How naïve I had been, and so damned lucky. It had been everything I could have

ever wanted or needed to lose myself completely in her, moving, touching, kissing without thought.

I was envious of my past. I wanted her here with me now; I wanted to be able to feel that way with

her. To experience everything for the first time with her instead of witnessing it through the sordid

thoughts of others.

Try as I might, I couldn’t merge the new memories filtering in with my own past. I couldn’t feel

like the person having those experiences when I was here seeing them for the first time.

I knew I wouldn’t feel right again until Bella was with me, where I could see her and touch her and

talk to her. I needed answers from her lips. I needed her reassurance. I needed more than ever to

know her thoughts and feelings.

But I couldn’t shake the nagging fear that she wouldn’t come back in any state to provide those

things.

Only Human22

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