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Open Forum 2 www.oup.com/elt/openforum Oxford University Press 2006

Open Forum 2Web Site Transcript

Chapter 12

A = In-store host

B = Rachel Asher, author

A: Thank you all for coming this evening. As Im sureyou all know, our in-store guest today is RachelAsher. Ms. Asher is currently touring the countrypromoting her new book, Home Away from Home,based on her experiences raising small children whileworking for a U.S. corporation overseas. Welcome!

B: Thank you.

A: Can you share with us an example of one of thestories you included in the book?

B: Certainly. One of my favorite stories occurred whenmy husband and I lived in Tokyo. It involves theJapanese custom of removing shoes when enteringthe home. We in the U.S., of course, are not normallyin the practice of taking off our shoes every time weenter a house.

Now . . . most everyone in Japan and the U.S. knowsabout the others customs, but that doesnt meanthat your small children are prepared to deal with it. . . and more importantly, prepared to accept bothtraditions without judgment.

A: Right. Go on.

B: Well, we let our 5 year old know that if she visited

a Japanese home for a play dateas we certainlyhoped she wouldthat she would need to removeher shoes, which she found delightful. After a fewdays at her international school, she was invitedover to the home of a classmate. Now, before we leftthe states, I had just begun to teach my daughter thatthe floor was dirtythat she should not fall asleepon the floor, that it wasnt a place to eat, et cetera.

A: So how did these two issuesher idea that thefloor was a dirty place and the Japanese tradition ofremoving shoes in the housecome together?

B: Well we went to this home, and everything seemed

great at the beginning. I sat down for tea withthe girls grandmother, who was a retired Englishteacher. A few minutes later, both girls re-appearedand mine demanded to go home . . . and announced,to my horror, that this house and her friend, weredirty and she couldnt stay. She and her newfriend had been playing dolls, and the JapanesegirlMakikohad gotten out her dollhouse . . .and things were great . . . until bedtime. It was then

that Makiko placed the family on the floor of theirbedrooms.

A: I think I see where this is going.

B: Exactly. My daughter, of course, announced that thiswas dirty, and that she wasnt going to sleep on thefloor. Makiko said that this is how her familyslept . . . and Susan told Makiko that her family wasdirty . . . and Makiko responded that people whowear their shoes in the house were dirty . . . andsoon we had two very hurt and angry little girls.

A: What happened next?

B: I immediately began to explain to Susan that shecouldnt say things like that, but the grandmotherinterrupted, gently, and suggested that we listento why the girls thought as they did. Luckily, thegrandmother took overnever underestimate thewisdom of grandmothersand listened closelyto what my daughter had to say. We realized thatthey hadnt thought through the reasoning behindthe different traditions and ideas of cleanliness. Mydaughter hadnt considered the fact that becauseJapanese people dont wear shoes indoors, thattheir floors might not be as dirty. What I got fromthisand what I encourage parents to applyis thatit isnt enough to be familiar with different customs

. . . you need to talk with your children about howothers think differently . . . and how those ways ofthinking lead to different traditions and opinions.You cant cover every topic, but you can developsuch open minded patterns of thinking and listeningin your children.

A: And we can read this book to discover issues thatother parents have dealt with, too.

B: Yes, you can.

A: Well, lets take some questions and comments fromour audience . . .