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October - November 2015 Newsletter

Tim Whittaker photo, August 23rd

The photo in the calendar will have the riders by their bikes

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RUNS COMMITTEE Jason Wawatai 021 885 913 ngaroata@orcon.net.nz Runs coordinator. Direct questions about runs to Jason. Nui Hodges 022 428 2192 Knhod6@gmail.com Robin Hyde 844 8597 raeandrob@clear.net.nz Mike Myers 022 169 8650 Tim Stewart 875 0238 sallyandtim@xtra.co.nz Robert Anderson 976 3037 robertanderson309 @yahoo.co.nz

Secretary Jeff McPhun #6670

844 7836 macs1@clear.net.nz

Treasurer Mike Shaw #9061

876 5994 mike6156@gmail.com

Committee Robert Anderson #8845

976 3037 robertanderson309

@yahoo.co.nz

Branch President Tim Stewart #8959

845 0238 sallyandtim@xtra.co.nz

BRANCH COMMITTEE

Committee Jason Wawatai #8652

021 885 913 ngaroata@orcon.net.nz

Committee Mike Clark #8916

027 4465 330 Mikeplusmichelle

@icloud.com

Committee Brenda Anderson #8846

976 3037 robertanderson309

@yahoo.co.nz

WELFARE OFFICER

Toni O’Connor Mobile 020 407 38359 Phone (06) 878 9253 oconnortg@xtra.co.nz

QUARTERMASTER

WEBMASTER Jeff McPhun 844 7836 macs1@clear.net.nz H.B. WEBSITE Go to the Ulysses web site www.ulysses.org.nz , click on Branches. scroll down to Hawke’s Bay, click on Web Site EDITOR Bob Gordon 844 2719 puzlrob@xtra.co.nz Mail to 9 Burness Road Greenmeadows Napier 4112

Nui Hodges 022 428 2192

Knhod6@gmail.com

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RUNS LIST Direct any questions to Runs Coordinator, Jason Wawatai, 021 885 913, ngaroata@orcon.net.nz Rides may be altered or changed at short notice, mainly due to the weather. Ring Jason for updates

Times etc may change for various reasons, these will be advised by e-mail or text Saturday October 10th — On Yer Bike ride for Cranford Hospice. Hosted by the British American Motorcycle Club. Registration fee of $20. Ulysses members meet at BP Clive at 9am for a group ride to Cranford at 300 Knight Street Hastings. Please support this event if you are able as BAMC have pledged to support our ambulance run on Anzac Day. See poster on Page 6 for details. Sunday October 11th — Ride to Herbertville for lunch. Meeting at BP Stortford Lodge at 10am. Return leg to Taradale RSA. RIC to be announced. Tuesday October 13th — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Taradale RSA, all welcome. Tuesday October 20th — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Bay View pub, all welcome. Sunday October 25th — Spring Poker Run. Meeting at Anderson Park in Greenmeadows at 10am. $10 entry fee, prizes for the best hands. Finish at Deano’s Bar & Grill, Taradale. RIC Jason Wawatai. Tuesday October 27th — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Taradale RSA, all welcome. Tuesday November 3rd — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Bay View pub, all welcome. Sunday November 8th — The Country Excursion Mystery Ride. It’s going north, south and west so fill up with petrol before you go. Meeting at BP Bay View at 10am with a mystery stop for lunch. Return leg to Taradale RSA. RIC Robert Anderson Tuesday November 10th — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Taradale RSA, all welcome. Sunday November 15th — Birthright Toy Run in association with the Ulysses Club Hawke’s Bay and the Hawke’s Bay Classic Club. Meet at BP Clive at 10am for a group ride to the start point at Plunket Street in Hastings. The ride will leave Plunket Street not before 11am and proceed to Anderson Park in Greenmeadows Bring a toy or a donation for the collection at the end of the ride. Tuesday November 17th — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Bay View pub, all welcome. Tuesday November 24th — Diet Club twilight ride. Meet at old Placemakers carpark Taradale Road at 6.30pm. Finish at the Taradale RSA, all welcome. You will notice we have left out a rescheduled date for the John Birch Memorial Ride. This will be announced in the next runs list and the ride will take place in late December or early January.

Remember — full tanks and empty bladders before a ride is due to leave (Who said we should put this load of bollocks at the end of a runs list?)

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

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Branch President’s report Hi guys, I expect we are all happy to see winter is leaving us and looking forward to the prospect of some great summer rides. We now have the first couple of Diet club rides out of the way with a good turnout for the first ride, the RSA as a finishing point seemed a popular with everyone, the food was good value and well done considering the room was packed with people. Jeff and I will be travelling to Wellington next weekend to represent our club at the National co-ordinators meet-ing. This will be first official meeting with the National committee and as yet I am unsure what to expect, I will have lots of questions and I am hoping it will be a steep learning curve for me, as I appreciate I am still a fairly new member and my depth of knowledge isn’t as good as I would like. As many of you know I don’t participate in political correctness but I do participate in respect and consideration to others, this club and members have always reciprocated, The club motto is ‘Grow old disgracefully’ not ‘Grow old disrespectfully’ and for me there is no place in the club for people who treat any member in anything but the highest regard. I appreciate that a club is made up of many different personalities and everyone is trav-elling their own journey through life but the Ulysses club is a place where people come to for camaraderie and respect and to be treated as equals no matter what is happening in their personal life. If this ever stops being the case I will be the first one to hand in my resignation. Our Ulysses club is not a place for old grudges and stewing on historical mistakes from years ago. Cliff has handed me a well set up and well run club and we need to bring enthusiasm and a positive respectful attitude for the club to keep moving forward. I think this is what keeps our club working as well as it does. As always if you have any ideas for the club or if you want to change something bring it to the committee, and we will do what we can to help, we don’t know if you don’t tell us and remember it is your club the more you put in the more you get out. Cheers ‘Tiny’ Tim Stewart #8959 Hawke’s Bay Branch President PS, as I am writing this the England rugby team are being stuffed by the Aussie’s so if anyone wants to know which team I support it is the Mighty All Blacks and any team playing against Australia, just so happens that this time it was a very unlucky England!

Sunday 15th November 2015

Riders meet from 10.30am at Plunket Street

Stortford Lodge, Hastings Not leaving before 11:00am

Travel to Anderson Park Auckland Road, Napier

For more info Phone 842 2227

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FURBALLS

The Editor is still finding stuff to bring up This October newsletter is different from the ones I have produced for the last few years in that there is not a photo of the recipient of the John Birch Memorial Award on the front page. Thanks to the wild weather we had in September the award ceremony hasn’t been held yet. On Saturday September 19 we met up with some of the Gisborne members at the Bay View and we were all looking forward to meeting up again the following Sunday at Mahia for the John Birch ride. Gavin Williamson must have had a premonition of what was about to happen as he said he wasn’t going if the weather was crap. It started raining the next day and by mid week the flooding in Gisborne and Hawke’s Bay was getting a tad serious. Although the rain had stopped, almost, by the following Sunday when the John Birch ride was scheduled, the runs committee had made the decision earlier in the week to postpone the ride. This is a decision I totally agree with as, although the road to Wairoa had re-opened, in the areas where the worst of the slips had been cleaned up the road would have been very slippery and would have made for hazardous riding. Because of this I don’t think we would have had a very good turn-out had the ride gone ahead. A sobering thought is that it was a slip that brought the tree down that crashed onto John Birch. When the Gisborne members where at the Bay View pub, on the Saturday night they asked the publican, Bill Roughan, if there was any chance of breakfast the next day. He said for a nominal fee he would supply the food and they could cook it themselves and he would donate the money collected to Cranford Hospice. Good one Bill. Daylight saving is back again and so are the weekly Diet Club rides. The once a fortnight get togethers at the Bay View pub during winter went well after a bit of a slow start and now a couple of reprobates have started a Wednesday morning meet-up. There has only been one so far and I was unable to attend so I don’t know how it went. If it goes as well as the Diet Club that will be great for the branch. Details are on page 8. Bob Gordon #4782, Editor

Did someone mention we had a bit of rain? This is the Ngaruroro river at the Chesterhope bridge. Tim Whittaker took the photo using his drone. Toni O'Connor lives not far from the river.

Should we use this one for a ‘put a caption on that’ competition?

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New ! Just for the: Unemployed Unemployable Retired Pensioner Beneficiary Shift worker Rich lay about A small group of us have decided to organize a time and place for a mid week meet up, this is cur-rently the Ankor Wat bakery in Hastings at 10.30am every Wednesday (Warehouse car park) These are not organized rides, just a time and place, whoever turns up can decide where to go or maybe not go anywhere, just a get together, your choice. As time goes by we may change the time and place if that’s what suits those that turn up, this is just a starting point. For more info, Jeff-8447836 / 0275777205 Mike-8765994 / 021458330

Donation to the Brain Injury Association Margaret and Daime from the Brain Injury Association (HB) accept a cheque for $400.00 from Jeff McPhun, H.B.Ulysses Club Secretary. The money was raised by a ride to the Patangata Tavern on June 21st. As well as our Branch, we were joined by bikes from Wairarapa and Manawatu Ulysses, British and American Club, Blue Guards, the Classic Club and a gener-ous donation from the Tavern. Thanks guys, this has been growing for the last couple of years, long may it continue.

Barry Robertson’s next bike?

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The branch has a Facebook page called HBULYSSESFACEBOOK The page is a closed group and only members of the group can post to it

and the information on it is for group members only. At the moment there are 28 members. To become a member you must be

added by an existing member so if you want to be added to the group flick a request email to Jeff McPhun

Communication is the key WHOOPSIE!!!! Wrong number!!!! In the previous newsletter the phone number was incorrect. If you have sent a text to Tim

could you please re-send it to the number shown below During the winter months there may be occasions when due to bad weather our club rides may be cancelled, to get messages through to all the members when this happens is almost impossible. In an effort to keep everyone updated on these days I would like to send out a bulk text message when the decision is made to cancel. This is something that is in place at the Wairarapa club and works very well for them. My mobile package has unlimited text messages so this will be at no cost to the club. If you would like to receive text updates on club run days please send a text message to – 021 053 7842 and please include your name in the message. ‘Tiny’ Tim Stewart #8959 Hawke’s Bay Branch President

Nui Hodges has taken on the job of Branch Quartermaster, thanks for that Nui. Here’s how the system works:- At the monthly meetings the Quartermaster will have current catalogues of the available Ulysses clothing and equipment. Once members have identified what they want to purchase they are to complete an order form from the Quartermaster and pay the Treasurer. Confirmation of payment will start the ordering process by the Quartermaster. Items will be given to members at the following monthly meeting. You can contact Nui on 022 428 2192 or email Knhod6@gmail.com Note:- nothing will be ordered without confirmation of payment.

We have a community organisation Facebook page called Ulysses Hawkes Bay.

This page is to let the rest of the world know what we are up to. Tell your friends to go to this page for info on our rides and events.

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The Operating Fee was set at $15 for the current financial year at the Annual General Meeting in May and is due now

This can be paid to the Treasurer, Mike Shaw, at the branch monthly meeting or posted to Mike at 61 Algernon Road, Longlands, Hastings

or paid online to our bank account, Wespac #03-1517-0006290-00 with your name and Ulysses Number in the comments field

The following Branch members have paid the Operating Fee as at 29 September 2015, 31% of membership.

Brenda Anderson, Robert Anderson, Ivan Birch, Jamie Bramley, Mike Brownlee, Angie Buchanan, Frank Bur-giss, Roy Campbell, Mike Clark, Lloyd Cox, Trevor Ellmers, Helen Gardner, Bob Gordon, Dean Green, Dave Harris, Cliff Heydon, Beryl Heydon, Ann Hubbard, Arthur Hubbard, Chris Hughes, Len June, Warren McE-

wen, Peter McMurtrie, Jeff McPhun, Perry Parslow, Michael Shaw, Glenn Smythe, Diane Turner, Ross Turner, Pauline Walters, Gavin Williamson, Larry Watts, John Wuts, Daniel Zuercher

In the August raffle Peter Bell had the first lucky number and he thought he needed sweetening up so he chose the lollies. Nui Hodges came in second and made a quick grab for the red wine. Bob Gordon was third and collared the white wine leaving Brenda Anderson, who was fourth, with the Ulysses registration plate sur-round. The September raffle saw Mike Clark’s number pop up first and he was quick to swoop on the pineapple lumps. Bob Gordon was second and grabbed the lollies. Trevor Ellmers needed some light in his life and took the torch which left Nui Hodges with the key ring. Bob Gordon shared the lollies around and that prompted Mike Clark to share the pineapple lumps.

Cliff Heydon went to the Tauranga Branch meeting to introduce himself. Went on Wednesday night, should have been Tuesday. Three of our old dudes are doing ‘The last of the summer wine’ act. Jeff McPhun as Compo, Mike Shaw as Clegg and Chris Hughes as Foggy. They went to the new Origin Earth Café, that was the Tandem Café, at the back of Havelock. They couldn’t give it a pie rating as it doesn’t sell pies…… or chips …. or fry-ups….. A word in the English language that scares the hell out of Tim!!! SALAD!!!! As a chartered club the Taradale RSA has a dress code but it will accept our members in riding gear. Must have a membership card for the RSA or an affiliated club or be signed in to purchase alcohol.

At the September meeting President Tim was in the process of appointing a temporary secretary when a very flustered Jeff McPhun arrived to the sound of a great round of applause.

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RIDES WE HAVE BEEN ON LATELY Ulysses Remembrance Ride, Taupo, Saturday August 8

The group was all smiles before the ride started but that was soon to change. The forecast was for occasional showers and strong westerly winds. We were lucky in missing the showers but the wind chill dropped the temperature to be-low freezing once we were over the top of Titiokura. Bear and Peanut cheated, they went in a tinnie. A regroup at the Summit revealed there was not as much snow as last year but the wind was absolutely viscous. There was much rubbing of hands when we stopped at the Z station in Taupo.

Lunch was at the Pub ‘n’ Grub on the corner. Cliff and Beryl met us there. Jeff hopes there is enough sauce in that tiny tomatoe thingy. Toni said it was a heart on the top of my coffee but I think it was a brown eye.

Mike Clark and Bear look like they are singing a duet, thankfully they weren’t. After lunch girl talk & boy talk. The rider briefing at the AC Baths car park before the ride. Because of the weather the at-tendance was down by about a third with very few from the southern area of the North Is-land. The main ride took quite a drenching on the ride from Roto-rua to Taupo.

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Love you too Toni. Mike Shaw left early and met the main ride at Rotorua and Ian Stuart caught up with the Hawke’s Bay contingent. Although numbers were down the mass ride into Taupo still looked spectacular.

Toni O’Connor on the ride; Jeff McPhun and Bob Gordon arrive at the hall; the hair looked great.

Toni proudly displays her new patch that Beryl had sown on her vest. It must have been cold; that’s Beryl hiding under the hoodie. The Remembrance Books are handed over to the Auckland Branch President after being piped into the hall. On stage is Val Ottaway from Palmerston North. Because of road and weather conditions she arrived just in time to step onto the stage and begin the service. Although this photo makes the hall look full the left side was empty. There are some Hawke’s Bay faces three and four rows back.

We were going to warm up at the Tarawera Café on the way home. Café had other ideas; it was shut. This ride may have been dominated by the conditions but on the way home I still felt quite a twinge of sadness when I rode through the cutting near Te Pohue where a tree crashed

down on John Birch, having heard his name read out at the Remembrance Service. Bob Gordon #4782

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The Great Calendar Photo Shoot, Bluff Hill Lookout, Sunday August 23 Some time ago a publisher approached President Tiny Tim and said they were producing a calendar for 2017 on motorcycles and motorcyclists and would Hawke’s Bay Ulysses like to be March? Yep, we’ll be into that. The lookout on Bluff Hill was chosen for the location and Tim Whittaker, who had taken the photos for the Bay Buzz magazine, was conned into taking the shots as the publisher needed super high definition stuff and none of us had a camera good enough. For the initial dates the weather did not cooperate but it did on Au-gust the 23rd which is just as well as that was about the last day for the publisher. Why the hurry? 2016 cal-endars have been on sale for a few weeks now.

“Now all look at me”. Tim gets ready to line up the shots and checks with Jeff McPhun that everyone has signed the indemnity form so their faces could be shown on the calendar. Looking down over the port Alex Wallace tells John Wuts how long he worked down there.

An area on the grass to the west of the carpark was chosen as the best spot and a gap between a couple of the rocks on the edge of the carpark was wide enough to get the bikes through. When it was time to get out a car was parked across the gap. Problem solved when Robin Hyde found the rocks are just sitting on the ground and shifted one of them out of the way.

Bob Gordon #4782

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Putorino loop road off the Wairoa road, Sunday August 23 This ride could best be described as a bit of a shambles. It took place after the calendar photo shoot on Bluff Hill. The first of three break downs was Toni O’Connor’s bike when she noticed the oil leak from the rear hub was at the serious stage and spraying oil over the rear tyre. She took the bike home from the photo shoot and didn’t even make it to the start line at BP Bay View. Most of those on the photo shoot went on the ride and were joined by others who were only interested in the ride.

There was a good turn-out for a ride on a sunny day. Tim couldn’t go on the ride as he was waiting for a new battery for his bike. Instead of lunch with the rest of us he made do with a service station pie. As is usual over the Wairoa road the ride soon spread out. When we turned left at the Tutira store for the start of the Mataho-rua loop I came across our second break down. This was another leaking problem with Nigel Ralph’s Tri-umph having fuel spurting out from under the tank when the key was turned on.

As there were enough people looking for the prob-lem, first time rider with us, Paul Eager and his wife Carol on a Goldwing, and I continued around the Matahorua loop. Part way round the loop it looked like we were riding into a yellow fog; it was just the pine trees releasing another load of pollen. A bit further around the loop and a chap and his part-ner on an Indian were heading back the other way. Before the start of the ride the chap had been pro-moting a charity ride to help prevent youth suicide. I can’t remember when he said the ride would be so I hope someone has some information on it so we can promote the ride in the club.

When we arrived at the Waikare pub there were several people having a coffee and something to eat with the rest milling around in the car park. What’s going on here? There is only cabinet food and no hot chips and fry-ups so they are going back to the Bay View pub for lunch. I informed Dan Zuercher and Heather that their friend Nigel’s bike had broken down at the Tutira store and they left to see if they could help. The rest of us stayed to yap for a bit longer before we took off back to Bay View. As there were bikes parked at the Tutira store I stopped to see what was going on while Paul Eager and Carol continued on their own to Bay View. Not the best of introductions to a ride with Ulysses. I couldn't see any of the bike riders so I went into the store to enquire where they were. The woman behind the counter asked a child if they were still out the back and then said to me “It’s private property out there you know.” If this is the way this woman treats her customers no wonder the shop is up for sale. Because of the height of the fence I hadn’t seen the bikes and riders in the back yard. Working on the Tri-umph was a salt of the earth Kiwi bloke, beard, dogs, chain saws, fix anything type of guy. They had taken the tank off the Triumph and found the fuel line had come off the fuel pump, hence the spurting petrol. The tank was going back on when I arrived and Dan and Heather went back with Nigel hoping the temporary fix would get them home ok. It did. Also parked there was the Indian we had seen going back the other way. It had a sick moccasin, a puncture in the rear tyre. The owner and his partner had been thinking of leaving the bike there and getting a ride back to Hastings to organise a trailer. The woman at the shop wanted to charge them ten bucks to leave the bike there. The bloke that had worked on the Triumph would have none of that and offered to take the Indian back to Hastings. This guy is something special.

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The Indian was loaded onto a trailer towed by one of those big four wheel drive thingies and the bloke’s wife and daughter went in an-other large four wheel drive wagon towing a trailer load of fire wood. About 10k down the road one of the tie-downs holding the bike mis-behaved and when we stopped to rectify the problem I had a chance to talk to the bloke who was giving a couple of bikers with broken down bikes such phenomenal service. He and his family were renting the house at the Tutira store and had moved in two days before. If the price was right they were going to buy the prop-erty and run the store. I will have to check if they are running the store as they will get my custom even if it is just to buy the occa-sional can of drink. With their attitude they should do well at the store. As they had helped with the break downs Jeff McPhun and Mike Shaw had a late lunch at the Bay View pub with Mike insisting his chips were the biggest. Despite the drama there was a good social gathering at the Bay View and Nigel said he is going to join the club. On the way home a couple of us were travelling at the same speed as the traffic, which was below the speed limit, when we were over-taken by a number of riders with very new looking ‘Outlaws’ patches on their backs. Overtaking on the left, using minimum clearance (as in a few centimetres) from the cars they were passing and carving in front of vehicles forcing them slow. Not a good look for motorcy-cling.

Bob Gordon #4782 Barry Robertson went to Sturgis

Find Barry in that lot!!!! Barry said it was total gridlock. They expected a million bikes but when the word got out that Barry was coming half a million more bikes turned up. We welcomed Barry back from Sturgis for the Putorino loop ride on 23/8/15. Barry’s wife joined him as pillion for the ride. The riders left the BP Bay View in formation to re-group at the Tutira café & store. Several kilometres into the journey on the loop road Barry rounded a corner to be confronted with a Road Glide, with sidecar attached, on the wrong side of the road. The Road Glide was ridden by a 200 kg Boar with flames coming from his nostrils and the sidecar was occu-pied by a Monkey eat-ing a Hokey Pokey ice cream. Barry’s only choice

was to put the CVO into cross country mode and head off road. This is when Mrs R deployed the CVO option Barry re-cently purchased in Sturgis and installed on the CVO. Mrs R pressed the pillion ejection seat button and bailed out, landing unharmed on the side of the road. You have got to admire Harley Davidson’s Custom Vehicle Operations for their contin-ued innovations. .

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things:

a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

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Cold Kiwi Rally, September 4 - 6 The “Cold Kiwi”, what the hell is that? I soon realized it was a gathering of motorbike enthusiasts in the mid-dle of winter. After a lot of convincing from Robert and Brenda, my wife and I decided to adventure into the unknown. Leaving on Friday 4 September was Robert myself and Toni on our beloved bikes, Brenda and wife had the comfort of the car. A bit of a chilly ride to Taupo and then rain onto Turangi and the rally site. On arrival the Rally site it looked like a mud bath with riders and bikes falling over, luckily we managed to stay upright and ventured to our camp site. Putting up tents and collecting fire wood in the rain was a novelty. By the end of the day tents were up, been fed and having a cold one made it all worth while. Following day was clear with a great views of Mt Ruapehu. Activities started about 1pm with motorbike hill climbing, Tee shirt change and sausage eating while riding, a few laughs had by all. We decided to move our bikes down the hill in the afternoon ready for our early departure the following day as snow was predicted. Fireworks that night and live band really picked up the atmosphere with everyone getting on with no hassles. We departed by 8 am on Sunday for Turangi, our breakfast stop. It rained most of the way to Taupo and from there fine to Sunny Hawke’s Bay. Would I do it again? “Yes” Go to You Tube “Cold Kiwi 2015” and view the videos, great laughs.

Getting Nui and Robert off the site. Toni’s bike back home before the big clean-up Nui Hodges #9221

Kathy, Brenda, Nui, Toni and Robert. Toni wasn’t going to get wet, she borrowed some gear from Frank Burgiss.

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Tim’s Mystery Ride, Sunday September 6 The biggest mystery about this ride is where Tim would take us for lunch.

I didn’t do a head count but there was at least fifteen of us which is not too bad a turn-out seeing it was Fa-ther’s Day. Tim informed us the ride would be through Havelock North, down Longlands Road and Ngata-rawa Road with a regroup at Omahu. After the regroup it would be along Swamp Road, Apley Road and Glengarry Road with the lunch stop at the Bay View pub.

An impressive line up of bikes opposite the Bay View pub. For a Ulyssian from Nelson who has relocated to Hawke’s Bay (can’t remember his name, should have written it down, sorry about that) riding a GS BMW it was his first ride over most of the roads and he was stoked with them. Another rider commented that it was the first time for him over some of the roads too and he was more than happy with the ride.

Tim put on his waiter face again, making sure there was enough sauce for Bear. Can’t figure out if Barry Robertson is asleep or saying Grace. The chap with Dan Zuercher is Nigel Ralph who had the problem with the fuel leaking Triumph a cou-ple of weeks before. As it was Father’s Day most of the riders left soon after lunch. Tim remarked that he would go home and thank his family for the slippers they have bought for him and then it would cost him a fortune to feed them. Bob Gordon #4782

Winner of the Chicago Tribune's best Tweet of the week:

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting

pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."

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Visit from Gisborne members, Saturday September 19, Sunday 20 On the Saturday a group of Gisborne members came to Hawke's Bay to visit the British Car Museum and to spend the night at the Bay View Hotel. They were brave riders as the weather forecast for Sunday was total stink. On Saturday morning Toni O’Connor rode to Putorino to meet up with the Gis-borne riders and there was a good turn-out for a meal and socialising (that’s a posh name for telling lies and bullshit) at the Bay View pub on Saturday night.

“You going to eat all that?” Nigel from Gisborne asks Gavin and Cath Williamson. “Look Nigel, it’s all gone.”

Shane from Gisborne is impressed with the size of Jeff McPhun’s sauce bottle.

If it was that funny it would have to be rude.

Seeing that through the win-dow is enough to give you nightmares. A good night was had by all and the Gisborne contingent arrived home safely on Sun-day albeit by the direct route rather than Ashurst or Taupo as originally intended.

Bob Gordon #4782

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The Hawke’s Bay Harley Davidson Club ride for Canteen, Saturday September 26 Although Dan Zuercher and a few other Ulyssians knew when this ride was on the bulk of us didn’t as it is not listed in the runs list and there was no advisory email from the secretary. The ride was discussed at the September meeting but no-one was sure of the date. Apparently it is held on the last Saturday in September and perhaps this should be checked and noted in the runs committee diary as no doubt there are members who would like to support the charity the ride is for. Ed.

Anyone would think the Diet Club is all about food. It’s not just food, it’s a time to so-cialise and have some fun and now that daylight saving has resumed there is some riding thrown in as well. With the return of daylight saving there will be a ride each Tuesday night starting at 6.30pm from the ex Placemakers car park in Taradale Road (between Palmers Garden Centre and the Mobil service station) and finishing at either the Taradale RSA or the Bay View pub. Come along and have some fun.

August 18 — 13 of us were at the Bay View for some nosh and a natter.

Tim was there; he is not in the group photo because he took it. Polly and Russell made the pilgrimage from Waipukurau. Jeff McPhun insisted that his was bigger than everybody else's. September 1 — It was so cold, wet, windy and horrible I went in the tin top instead of on the bike. There were only four of us there and I forgot to take the camera. September 15 — For the last meeting before the start of daylight saving 10 of us turned up.

When I arrived Chris and Caroline were eating on their own. That will get the gos-sip mongers going. Jeff McPhun is proud of the size of his sauce bottle.

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September 29 — Daylight saving has started, the torrential rains have stopped and we went for a ride. This shot was taken at the end of the ride. John Sowman is not trying to be incognito, he had to go home. I had been working on the newsletter and it was a couple of minutes after 6.30 when I was riding down Gloucester Street to the Taradale RSA in time to see the riders heading down the road. Bear was at the back so I just followed the noise until I caught up. Robert Anderson lead the ride down Omarunui Road, Apley Road and Puketitiri Road back to the RSA for a meal.

Paul and Carol eager were going to go on the ride but their Goldwing had other ideas. It decided its battery was too flat to go for a ride but as they live over the back fence from the RSA they came over for the meal. Jeff McPhun was another nosh only attendee. Bob Gordon #4782

Diet Club members? Get me to the church on time

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The deadline for material for the next newsletter is: November 23 2015 There is no deadline for general interest material but it may be held over for the next newsletter HELP US TO CONTACT YOU If you are not one of the 90 plus who receive HB Branch Updates in their email letter box – send an email message to the committee at hawkes.bay.sec@ulysses.org.nz - with “Subscribe to Ulysses” in the subject box and your name in the message box. It is proving to be an effective medium for keeping members up to date with news and changes. If you have an e-mail address and you have not been receiving e-mailed news recently, (usually every fortnight) please e-mail hawkes.bay.sec@ulysses.org.nz with your details. There have had a couple of "bounced" e-mails for some addresses on file, and there are lots of you out there that we have no e-mail addresses for. We are trying to cut costs by using e-mail, so it would be helpful if you could let us know how to contact you. If you change your email address let us know. The Committee Opinions expressed in this publication are those of the writer and are not the responsibility of the Committee of the Hawkes Bay branch of Ulysses.

SENDER: H B Branch, Ulysses Club, C/- Bob Gordon, 9 Burness Road, Napier