Ocean Revelry Edits
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Is there a favorite place you Do you have a favorite place that you go visit to think, to clear your mind, or to do a little soul searching? For me, that has always been the beach. : I take in the kaleidoscope of colors, the lulling sounds, and the salty-mist smell. I commit them to memory and think about them during the bustling week ahead. On this day, Stella, my four year old four-year-old Lab-Shepard mix, and I were exploring Summers Beach (located along the PCH between Ventura and Carpinteria, CA). surf spectators The sky and sea had changed from the squally conditions of the previous day to a mild, gentle grey, overcast. As we strolled along the beach, I noticed a lot of spectators lined up with cameras and binoculars. There were booths set up and chairs put out; clip boards with blank lines and scribbled names; and . A a nnouncers’ voices booming boomed from flared loud speakers. In the water, young sur f fers lined up in a queue of white, red, yellow, blue, and orange (no green today). Stella and I had come upon a surf contest! I sat down on the sand next to the (cement) sea wall and watched the surfers as they tried to master the waves. The ocean was still showing signs of the passing storm: t T he waves were 4’ – - 7’ walls with offshore winds. Despite the less than perfect conditions, the participants all seemed to be enjoying the sport and fellowship of the day. : T T heir surfboards danced and skipped in and out of the surf to the resounding cheers and clapping from the spectators, who were watching the events wrapped up in their winter jackets and hats. ; S s ome even had scarfs wrapped around their faces and necks to keep out the ocean winds. But, on this day the weather was unimportant, the enthusiasm was contagious, and good vibrations filled the salty sea air. Family Surfing Today’s event at Summers Beach is part of the Scholastic Surf Series, a division of the Western Surfing Association (WSA) for middle and high school co-ed teams
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This is a blog post that I did a copy edit for.
Transcript of Ocean Revelry Edits
Comment by Rachel: Can we add a subhead before this paragraph to make it more clear?Is there a favorite place youDo you have a favorite place that you go visit to think, to clear your mind, or to do a little soul searching? For me, that has always been the beach.: I take in the kaleidoscope of colors, the lulling sounds, and the salty-mist smell. I commit them to memory and think about them during the bustling week ahead. On this day, Stella, my four year oldfour-year-old Lab-Shepard mix, and I were exploring Summers Beach (located along the PCH between Ventura and Carpinteria, CA).Comment by Rachel: Consider adding a comma hereafter an introductory adverbial phrase. Chicago 6.36
surf spectatorsThe sky and sea had changed from the squally conditions of the previous day to a mild, gentle grey, overcast. As we strolled along the beach, I noticed a lot of spectators lined up with cameras and binoculars. There were booths set up and chairs put out; clip boards with blank lines and scribbled names; and. Aannouncers voices booming boomed from flared loud speakers. In the water, young surffers lined up in a queue of white, red, yellow, blue, and orange (no green today). Stella and I had come upon a surf contest!Comment by Rachel: Can we add a transitional word or phrase before Stella?
I sat down on the sand next to the (cement) sea wall and watched the surfers as they tried to master the waves. The ocean was still showing signs of the passing storm: tThe waves were 4-7 walls with offshore winds. Despite the less than perfect conditions, the participants all seemed to be enjoying the sport and fellowship of the day.: TTheir surfboards danced and skipped in and out of the surf to the resounding cheers and clapping from the spectators, who were watching the events wrapped up in their winter jackets and hats.; Ssome even had scarfs wrapped around their faces and necks to keep out the ocean winds. But, on this day the weather was unimportant, the enthusiasm was contagious, and good vibrations filled the salty sea air.Comment by Rachel: The meaning here is unclear to me. Can we consider a different way of saying this?Comment by Rachel: Chicago 6.59Comment by Rachel: Truly lovely imagery.
Family SurfingTodays event at Summers Beach is part of the Scholastic Surf Series, a division of the Western Surfing Association (WSA) for middle and high school co-ed teams from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara. WSA is a California non-profit corporation that has been around since 1961. They are also the oldest surfing association. The WSA promotes fun, family-oriented surfing contests. The Scholastic Surf Series is professionally operated and managed. The contestants compete in five events culminating in the State Championship for both middle and high school teams. The Summers Beach contest today was the seco2nd in the series. What an awesome way for youths to spend the weekend : fresh air, sportsmanship, exercise, and appreciation of nature! (For more info go to www.surfsss.org.). And, what a way for all of us to celebrate our enjoyment of the water and ocean, which is such a precious resource.Comment by Rachel: This would be a good place for another subheading.Comment by Rachel: What do you think about adding a hyperlink here for our readers?Comment by Rachel: We can also add another link here that will serve as a resource for our readers. Comment by Rachel: Accurate facts.Comment by Rachel: To make this more accessible for readers, maybe add this link to the bottom of the article too. Comment by Rachel: Maybe we can move this linktothe first sentence.
dog at beachIt is always enjoyable to stroll along the beach. I always see something interesting or learn something new. As I walked to my car today, I thought about how lucky I was to happen upon the surf competition.; Iit reminded me that good fun, for me anyway, doesnt require anything more than a few dollars for a little bit of gasoline, and my faithful, beach-loving dog,gie Stella. My walks along the beach remind me that spectacular scenery still exists as long as we preserve it and protect it. Perhaps, you will celebrate World Water Day this year with your own walk on the beach, swim in the ocean, or fun time at the pool. Share your water story with us at [email protected]..
