CONT ENT S .

CHAPTER I .

—A Young Man! s Amb it ion to Be

come a W aiter

I I -A W aiter! 3 F i rst E xperi ence In theBusin ess

I I I .

— How a W aiter I s T ied DownIV .

— Manner of Dress,Pol iteness , E tc .

V.-!Physica1 Part of a W aiter

! s L i fe . 1 3

VI .

—A W aiter! s T emptations 1 6

VII .— His Sa lary ! Does He E arn I t or Not 1 7

VII I .

— W hat a W aiter Has to ‘KnowAboutCooking

,M ixed Drinks , the Peo

p le ! s Appetites and T h eir Fancies . 1 9

IX .

—‘Private Rooms— Nuf Sed 2 1

X . W aiter ! s Ph ilosophy

XI .

- In formation BureauXII — T hree Kinds o f Female —Fussy, A d

vertising , Society 2 7

XIII — A W aiter! s Amusements After Hours . 3 2

XIV .

—W hat Kind of a T rade I s I t ! 3 3

XV .-Proprietors 34

XVI —JWhat W aiters Ca l l Gentlemen 36

XVII .

— A W aiter ! s Opinion of Labor Law. . 37

XVIII—Good Service 38

XIX .

—A W aiter! s W ork and Li fe 39

XX .

— T he Head W aiter 4 1

XXL— T ipping t .43

INTRODUCT ION.

My DEAR R EADERS :T his book is written for the waiter, and , from my

point of view o f the subj ect,I do not think he has many

sympathetic friends . I am writing for h im what Ithink is right

,and I will uphold him in al l things that

I think he deserves . In relation to what he does hemay h ave some bad qual it ies , but I wil l not mentionthem all

,for I think his good qual ities wil l cover the

bad ones a thousand times,considering the obstacles

that are be for e him in his l ine of business .

T h e outcome of this book, entitl ed“Th e W (titer,

i s a sample of th e different classes of people that ihhabit t h e globe ! to put in print the feel ings o f a waiter !What he has to comply with to hold his pos ition ! al lkinds of questions he is asked

,not only from the nu

educated,but from the educated people

,and especial ly

from the profess ional classes,whom you would think

would know diff erent . You ,readers of th is l ittle book

,

must remember that the writer— a man of expe rience ,and a man that has travel ed the Globe—m ust tel l youo f a few good qual it ies which this book is entitled to .

From an educated standpoint , I must say the waiteris the most educated man in existence . Now,

I willstate my reasons for making such a statement . A l l

waiters do not receive a col leg e education , but most ofthem have a fair education , and what they have missedin not going to col l ege they have learned in hal f thetime it takes the young man graduate from such aninstitution . Secondly ,

a waiter with a fair educationcan deve lope h imsel f to such a degree , th at with h is

T H E W AITER 5

experience h e can converse with anybody of any profession,

or on any sub iect. In other words , he can

make his conversation p leasing to anybody from aminister to a statesman ! whi le a col lege-bred manis confined to the pe0p 1 e of his class . He could notface the multitude of the masses of pe0p1 e, and p leasethem all

,from an humble workman to the pres ident of

the United States . I am not making th es e statementsto boast for the waiter, but from a commonsense standpo int . A man cannot make a goo d wai ter

,or be

master of hi s work , i f he does not comply with whatI have told y ou .

In the fol lowing chapters you will read what a waiterhas to do to fu lfi l his pos ition

,to make himse l f p leas !

ing to everybody , and I hope you wi l l agree with mein many ways wh en you have finished read ing my

CHAPT E R I .

A YOUNG MAN! S AMB ITION TO BECOME A W A ITER.

T h e beginning o f th i s book is a serious undertak

ing,and

,to do j ustice to whom it is ded icated , I must

start at the beginning of a young man ! s l i fe, one whohas fol lowed th is vocation for a l ivel ihood , one thewriter has known from experience— to state a fewincidents of the starting of a young man in th is l ineo f work . I do not need to tel l you h is l i fe from infancy ,but at a rough estimate . I wil l tel l you of a mere boyin his school day l i fe .

First , i f the reader wi l l look back and th ink of h isfel lowplaymates when a boy , one seems very dull andhas no des ire to mingle with the oth er boys ! does notcare to j oin in the diff erent kinds of sport and gam es !was obstinate at al l times , whi le the other boys . werea lways j ol ly and in for anything the gang would propose in the l ine of sport and games , always havingdates ahead for d ifferent k inds of trips wh ich are madein boyhood days . And as the days and months andyears go by th is s econd boy , so full of play and sport ,has grown out of h is ch i ldhood thoughts . His m indhas developed some new ideas and , from seeing, h earing and read ing about great men and things , h is des ire is to get out o f the country vi l lage where he hasspent his ch i ldhood days , wh ere he can get somewh ereand look for a larger field in which to develope h isamb it ion . After read ing of great men who had made

8 T H E W AIT E R

a fortune in a short time,and who were once country

boys ! after having tried at different occupations , lwas doing fairly wel l

,but was not getting along fast

enough according to my desires . On account of notenough of excitement connected with my pos it ion

,I

dri fted from one p lace to another,until final ly I ac

cepted a pos it ion offered me as a waiter . I d id not getalong very wel l at the start

,as it was a trying posit ion

for a novice . I was completely bro-ken up . I was notaccustomed to the kind of abuse I received

,which you

wil l surely get when you are an apprentice in the business .

As time wore on I received my degrees , one afteranother . T here was not much doing that I was noton to

,and final ly I said

,My boy , this is the occupation

that suits you best,

” for the excitement takes awaythe rough part o f i t and it is a pleasure to deal with thepeople of every day l i fe . I was kept posted on everything going ou , whatever happened , as wel l as whatwas going to happen— from a dead sure thing tothings that were not so sure— j ust from mere conversation with the parties I was serving

,and getting

acquainted with the peop le in every walk of l i fe . W henan opportunity came my way

,or i f anything occurred

that I wanted to know about , or the best way to goabout it

,I was acquainted enough to consult the pro

per person and to go the right way to accompl ish it ,thus saving time and capital . And , after al l , the waiterl ives on the best in the land . H e may not be. a Rockefell er or a Morgan

,but l ives and enj oys himsel f j ust

as wel l,only he can ! t put his hands on his banknotes

so often as they can . But he always has plenty for

T H E W AITER 9

h imsel f, according to his mode of l iv ing , and he letsit go as freely as he sees others do. And stil l anotheridea o f a young man ! s ambition to become a waiter,i s that they are not drove to work by a whistl e or abel l , as some other young men are , especial ly thoseworking in a factory or other places o f the kind , so Iwil l agree with the young man as far as he has gone .

I-Iis troub les are g reat , and I hope he will rece ive al ittl e k indness in the fol lowing chapters

,yet I do not

think so, as this i s only a starter and I think he wil lhave a glorious finish .

W ife to H usband— Let us have supper at Dary <9

A nth ony!

s after the th eater .

H usband— IVhy ,my dear, I have only a do l lar and

ten cents.

W ife— T hat is more than enough .

H usband— Why no . One do l lar for th e waiter and

ten cents for supper !

CHAPT E R I I .

A WAITER! S F IRST EXPERIENCE IN THE BU ISNE SS .

His first year,I must say

,i s the most laborious of

any o f the years he wil l have in the bus iness , and , youmay rest assured

,after he has found out some of the

tricks o f the trade h e wi l l be making his work easierfor h imsel f every year

,expect ing the n ew ones (or

apprentices , as I might cal l them ! who may appear onthe scene , to put up with al l th e rough part o f it , whicha newman has to do when he first takes a po s ition in

1 0 T H E W'

AIT ER

any place . My dear readers , I know you do not understand what I mean by the rough part of it . I f youhave an acquaintance who has been in the business ,which I am sure you have

,or i f you have been out din

ing at al l— he could explain it thoroughly to you . Iti s th e waiter that knows , i f anybody doe s , or i f he hashad a few years ! experience at a first-class place orny pretentious sort of a hotel , club or restaurant .During the first year of his apprenticeship he is s implya servant for his fel low waiters . I mean the fel lowshe works wi th , s ide by s ide . T hey know he is a newman at the business and is anx ious to do anything forthem in order to lear n! that they may , when he wantsto know anything

,be wil l ing to tel l him . Another

th ing I want to relate is that when a fel low is learn ingthe business he is avoided by every one coming intothe place where he works , because he is new in thebusiness , and they don

'

t want h im to wait on theirparty ! consequently , instead of learning the business ,he real ly has to steal it . A fter working under al l th eseconditions , he final ly gets acquainted with a few ofthe good pe0p1e and by degrees he is working his wayto the top notch , and at the sam e time getting al l theexperience connected with it . I f the young man staysany length of time in one place, after overcomingal l these difficu l ties— which is very often the case—a

i t frequently happens that he wil l become the lead ingwaiter in the place and also the favorite , having wonout by his strenuousness , and admired by h is fellowemp loyes .

“I say , wa iter, th is salmon ou tlet isn

!

t half so goodas th e one I had here lastweek.

”

“Can

!

t seewhy , sir ! its off the samefish 1”

T H E W AIT ER 1 1

CHAPT E R I I I .

H OW A WAITER I S TIED DOWN .

A waiter is the most t ied-down being to his occupation of any l ine of bus iness

,no matter what l ine you

mention . For instance, a waiter works al l hol idays ,when al l other human beings are enj oying themselves !hol idays

,when the peop le of al l other l ines of bus iness

work the least,the waiter is at his hardest day ! s work .

T he summer arrives , and sti l l the waiter is workingwhen al l other peop le are enj oying the pleasure of thesummer breezes , as wel l as the d iversions that takep lace during this particu lar time of the year, such aspicni c parties

,sai l down the bay ,

moonl ight excurs ions and a l l kinds of various sports and pastimesthat happen at the great number of shore places wehave in this beauti fu l country of ours . How can weenj oy a l l thi s sort of p leasure

,i f we are work ing wh en

al l these th ings take p lace ! I f we have an afternoonoff, or an evening, i t i s so short that there i s not sufficient time to walk around the square . I f we happen tohave a po s it ion at any o f the shore p laces a l l th e funwe have is to look on and see others enj oy themse lves .

Summer passes by and we are into the fal l seasonsti l l the same old story—work seven days a weekdon ! t even have time to go to chu rch . T hat is whywaiters are such heath ens . I f h e i s a marri ed man andwants to be home once in a wh i le he must l ive near thep lace h e is employed , or h e wi l l never be acquaintedwith h is fam ily . Very se ldom you see h im in companywith h is wi fe , un less she meets h im at the door wh erehe is employed . I f he went home to take her to theth eater, or any oth er p lace of amusement

, h is time

1 2 T H E W AIT ER

be on deck again to answer the rol l cal l . I f you stayaway from work a few hours and put a Substitute inyour place you have to pay him what you make for afull day

!

s salary . T his is one of the reasons thatmakes the waiter so shi fty . I f he wants a vacationor a l ittle pleasure he has to throw up his position andwhen he returns he gets a position in another place .

Gentl eman (dining at th e c lub! to waiter A ren!

t

y ou waiting on th is tabl e !”

“No

,sir

”

(pointing to wai ter in distance! . That

gentl eman is, over th ere.

CHAPT E R IV .

MANNER OF DRESS,POLITENESS

,ETC.

T his chapter is what a great many do not understand . H ow, on a mere salary that they are paid , canthey stand the expenses of furnishing themselves theway they are obl iged to . I f they want to look respectable , thei r laundry bil l would take al l their sala ryalone

,not speaking about the other l ittle sundry ac

counts they have,which is not worth mention . Can

you blame them for looking for t ips ! T hey not onlyneed to have clean l inen , but a good waiter must havea “dress suit

,a T uxedo

,and have to buy them o ften .

It is not as though a bus iness man , who wears hi sevening dress at night , and can make it last him forever, but a waiter has to wear his at al l times , and theconsequence is that it takes a few dol lars to keep himin this l ine of cloth ing . I f you have not the necessaryclothes to go with the position you have

,you might

T H E W A ITER 1 3

j ust as wel l look for some other occupation . I f lacking in these things , i t is as bad as a carpenter withouta saw . S t i l l another thing I want to impress on thereader ! s mind . T h e waiter has not the freedom ofdress l ike any Other person ! for instance, the occupation demands white Shirts and black clothes , does itnot ! W e l l , he cannot invest in any other color. I f hedoes he wil l never wear them out

,but wi l l S imp ly get

tired of them , for he does not have the time to donal l kinds of loud dress , especial ly that l ine you may seeworn by the general pub l i c . I f a young man wantsto keep in the swim he has to fol low the sty le , and appear out on parade with the fash ion of the season .

Sti l l th e waiter has the same b lack c loth es , a lwayslooking the same, for he is h emmed in on al l s idesby h is occupation , and then we wonder at crime . Asfor j ewel ry , or any other decoration a man may wear ,at any other trade

,it is out of the question w ith the

waiter . It is not proper for him to ! ash any k ind ofappare l l ike that

,because it i s out o f place . Th e way

for him to look is neat and c lean,with dress very p lain .

I f a waiter has any diamonds , or j ewe lry of any kindthat is valuable

,he wou ld not get the cred it for such

for people th ink they are worn by a man who can ! tstand for it in that l ine of occupation . But we havethem just the same, and good ones at that .

CH APT E R V .

PHYS ICAL PART OF A WAITER! S LIFE .

You might think , because a waiter works in a downtown restaurant , hotel , or cafe , and a lways looks wel lin th e way o f neatness and dress , that he has no heavy

1 4 T H E W AIT E R

work . On the contrary , he has . He does not shovelor perform laborious work

,but you would be surprised

i f you knew the number of miles he walks in a day .

Not a slow walk, but at a good gait . W hat more does

a man want for exercise ! You know walking is thebest exercise for the human system ,

providing you donot walk too much . But the quest ion i s , does thewaiter g et too l ittle exerci se . I never saw it in myl i fe , as long as I have been in the bus iness . You canconsult a phys ical di rector and i f you are in want ofexercise the first advice he wil l give you is to takeplenty of long walks . Th e diff erence be tween yourwalk and ours wil l be in the open air . I f you wereto ask my advice I would tel l you to take up my occu

pation and you would never suffer'

from dyspeps ia .

indigestion or any of the diseases going about in thi stwentieth century of ours . I do not know what thecoming generat ion wi l l do . Not many years ago al

most everybody walked to thei r place of employmentand thought nothing of it . Now i f you have to go twoblocks you hop on a car . T here are some people whowil l have to be excused

,especial ly those l iving in the

suburbs of the city . But it would do them more goodi f they walked . T h e generation that is growing up ,

instead of walking,I guess

,wil l ! y or shoot through

tubes or th e l ike , or any old thing to make rapid transit , so they won

! t have the troubl e of walking. Hackmen were starving to death a few years ago becausethey on ly had the wealthy class to patronize them .

Nowa l l kinds of people have grown into the habit ofcal l ing Cabbie ,

” even the waiters,who must be ex

cused , as they often work into the early hours of dawn ,

making it necessary for the waiter to do so,as a great

T H E W AIT ER 1 5

many times the cars are stopped on many of the routesat that hour in the morning .

Th at is not al l on the phys ical question .

Secondly— not only does he develope his legs bywalking

,but al so his arms and shoulders , carry ing .a

great dea l of weight through the course of a day!

swork . T hink of the amount of trays , dishes , s i lverware

,glasses and food

,not to mention the hundred and

one other different kinds of work he has to performto add to his physica l abil ity . In many cases wherehe works he has not al l the accommodation that isnecessary for quick service . He often has to c l imbstairs to the kitchen ,

or go down stai rs to th e bar , andvery often the pantry i s in another part of the house .

Many peop le who don ! t know the way the differentdepartments are s ituated th ink everything is put in thewaiter ! s hands . W e al l know first- class houses haveelevators , but if an employe rides in any of them inperforming his duties it wil l cost him his j ob . Veryo ften no employe of the hotel i s a llowed to ride , nomatter whether th ey are going to serve a party in aroom at the top ! oo r or not , and

'

if a waiter don ! t follow these ru les to the letter , and wants to hold hispos ition

,he has to make the best of it . But they do

not always do what they are told in that respect . I fthey have to c l imb to the top of the bu ilding they wi l ltake a chance and ride

,or th ey wi l l stand in with the

elevator boy someway,for th e e levator boy may want

a p iece of pie,or a l itt le ice cream

,or something e lse

in that l ine , to keep h is stomach from caving in . Inmany cases he might give him something in the l ine ofl iqu ids ,

“Squirre l W h i skey”

for instance, which wi llmake h im send the elevator up a l itt le l ivel ier.

1 6 T H E W AIT ER

I am nearing th e end of this chapter, so I thoughtI would give it to you as strong as I could for thewaiter ! s sake .

I t iswith narrow-sou l ed peop l e as i t iswi th narrownecked bottl es— th e l ess th ey have in th em th e more

no ise th ey make in pouring it out.

CH APT E R VI .

A WAITER! S TEMPTATIONS .

My dear readers , th is chap ter wil l be as short aspossible . You may think this is where you have himcornered

,but I am not going to boast for the waiter,

and then turn around and throw him down . I amgoing to tel l you more of his goo d qual ities than hisbad ones

,although I am going to relate some of his

faults . You know a fel low at this occupation meetsthe people when they are out on a good time and ona sporty lark . A man that i s in the swim may keepaway from sporting for a time

,but once in a while they

are bound to let out . T his is when a waiter sees al lth e doings of a party when they are out on such akind of time . T hey wine and dine

,and keep it up to

the early hours of dawn . T his is one of the ways awaiter is spoi led . W ith seeing all the various sorts ofenj oyment

,his thoughts are turned toward that d irec

tion , and he has to do the same when he gets a chance .

! uite often the waiter is troll ing home when the sunis coming over the hil l s . I f very many of these o c

curs , he gets SO he can! t do without a regular draught

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1 8 T H E W AITER

American traveler stops at a hotel there the proprietoralways adds to the bil l as an item (service ! for thewaiter who has attended him during his stay , theAmerican peop le not being accustomed to t ipping thewaiter as are foreign people . I f my American fr iendsdo not th ink what I have said true , they ought to takeone trip to France

,or Germany , and a few other coun

tries , and they wil l s ide in with me on this part o f thechapter .

I f a {vaiter i s paid a salary o f twenty-five dollars amonth , or, at the most , thirty-five— which is the salaryhe is paid in al l th e l eading hotel s in the countrydo you think he could keep himsel f on that ! I f he didnot receive tips

,do you think a fel low with the ambi

tion a waiter has would stay at this occupation ! Do

you think he earns it ! I f h e only had the work to servewhat they order

,i t would be easier for him ,

no doubt .He has al l kinds of bother to find out what the pe0p 1ewants , and must take al l the insults that are thrownat him and yet can not sav anything in return . I fhe does he loses hi s position . Look p leasant no matterwhat your troubles are , and laugh against your wil l .W hen you go in to the pantry swear as much as youl ike

,provided no one hears you . A waiter may get a

smal l salary in a first-class place , but he makes up thedifference in t ips .

I f it comes down to a regular week ly salary , it i sthe second-class places that pay the most , but that isal l

,for the peop le that go there n ever pay the waiter .

I th ink private rooms can be counted as a top-notcherfor a waiter for a chance to get a fai r salary . T h e

po s ition demands more th an a regular dining-room , be

cause it is another l ine of business altogether . You are

T H E W AITER 1 9

not supposed to know anything and at the same timeknow everything ! not to see anything,

but i f he doeshe must be bl ind . I think he earns every cent he gets .

He deserves something for al l this knowledge of thebus iness . T here is one thing I came near forgettingwhich i s very important to my readers . W hen a waiterhas been in the bus iness and has walked four thousandmiles every day the time comes when he cannot wa lkat a l l . His feet go back on him . T hese fel lows wecal l kidney- foot waiters . T hey cannot help this styleof walking

,for they have de formed themselves trying

to satis fy the pe0p1e, from whom th ey get but l ittlethanks , and when in o ld age th ey are not fit for anyother occupation .

S ummer Boarder—“I though t y ou advertised this

p lace as‘

Lake View" H ouse. I don!

t see any lake

around h ere .

”

Farmer You fo l l ow me (taking him to the roofof th e h ouse and pointing to a lake abou t ten mi l es

away ! S ee that lake over there. You city folks ain!

t

got any th ing on me.

”

Boarder—“You also advertised fresh vegetabl es

from th e farm.

”

Farmer—“That cook always gets me in troubl e. I

to ld h im to open fresh cans every morning .

”

CHAPT E R VIII .

WHAT A WAITER HAS To KNOW ABOUT COOK ING, M IXEDDRINKS

,THE PEOPLE! S APPETITE AND THEIR

FANCIES .

Here are some of the few th ings he has to knowabout in this l ine of bus iness . You take, for instance,

2 0 T H E W AIT ER

as near as I can explain it to you,a party coming in

to the dining-room to dinner . T h e first thing that isasked is ,

“W aiter, what have you got that is goodT h e most fool ish question that can be asked of him .

E verything is good , some things better than others .

W e do not serve anything that is bad . I f they are bad ,

or stal e, you can bet it wil l not get past the waiter i fhe knows his bus iness ! especial ly for his own good ,i f nothing el se . T h e proprietor does not want anyfoo d {erved that i s not right . He wants the peopleto come again . T hat is a part of the reputation of theplace— pure food and nicely served . I f such a thinghappens , the waiter is cal led to account for it . Secondly . T h e party wil l look at the menu . I t may be printed ih French

,and then they wil l ask the waiter

,

“H ow

is this cooked ! ” “W hat is it composed of He issupposed to know how it i s cooked and the variousauces that go with it and the l ike, and when you tel lthem , they may order that particular entree , or whatever it may be . It takes time and memory for thewaiter to find out al l about the diff erent dishes on themenu , and the menu is often changed . Carte du Jour,which means card of the day , are the special dishesfor that day . H e has to be posted on what is on it ,and many times he has trouble with the cook lookingfor thi s in formation . T h e cook ' i s O ften busy and wil lnot stop to give you th e in formation . T he same questions arise as to drinks . A dinner looks and tastesdifferent from what it ought to when the drinks areomitted . I f you look over a wine l ist you wi l l findmore than a h undred diff erent kinds of mixed drinks ,and the waiter must know howal l of th em are m ixed !

T H E W AIT ER 2 1

howmuch of this bitters and that bitters it is compo sedo f how much lemon j uice

,sugar

,and

,

“Do they pu t

In plenty of l iquor ! ” I t is very often asked of us ,"

W hat is the name o f the labe l “W hat part ofFrance does it come from ,

or some other old country !“W ho i s the the importer ! ” “How many bottles in acase ! ” “

H ow much does it cost ! ” and a few otherth ings . W hen a person once gets acquainted with awaiter, and he is in the habit of waiting on him ,

hewil l say : “

H el lo, Jack (B i l l , Jim or whatever his name

may be ! W hat wi l l you give me today !” W el l , i t

takes a good man to suit his taste . T here are someexceptions . Some peop le are very easi ly satisfied ,

andthey leave it to the waiter who has been serving themfor a long whi le to fix them up . But

,on the contrary ,

how does a waiter knowwhether your stomach is incondition to stand a hearty meal or not ! how can heknow wheth er you are steak hungry or chicken hungry ,or i f you on ly want a sandwi ch ! A waiter with al ittle reason can overcome these d ifficulties by a shrewdconversation and by a few suggestions can find out j ustwhat wil l suit you to a T . Give a waiter fai r p lay andhe wil l do what is right every t ime .

Look p leasant no matter what y our troubl es are and

laugh against y our wi l l ,But don

!

t forget to get h is coin when h e is pay ing h isbi l l .

CHAPT E R IX .

PRIVATE ROOMS— NUF SED .

In every first—Class p lace there are private rooms .

Some people don ! t know what the private rooms are

2 2 T H E W AITER

reserved for. T hey are not for s ingle individuals tod ine in . I f they were you would have to have a roomfor every person that patroni ! es your place, whichwould mean a very large building . T hey are not forparties always in a hurry , people that patronizethese rooms are peop le that have plenty of time , andthey do not want to be in a publ ic place to be “rubbernecked” by al l that see them . Bus iness people oftenoccupy private rooms , to talk business ! to finish somedeal or other sort of contract that is connected withtheir l ines ! or to talk over some great festival , or dinner

,or celebration , that they may settle al l the detai l s ,

for the committee for which they are acting . T heseare some of th e peopl e who occupy them . But th ere

are others . You take , for instance : A lady or a gentl eman go into a publ ic ca fe or restaurant

,and she or-h e

wants an appetizer be fore d inner— say a Mart in i , or

a Manhattan , or someth ing straight . W el l they cannot take any pl easure in it when there are so manypeople watching them

,i f they once see a cocktail

or anything else to drink on the table,are rubbering

to see what is drank next , and very Often say to theirneighbors : “I was in a down town restaurant lastnight , and guess what I saw ! I saw Li z ! ie (Mamieo r Nel l ! , drinking . I d id not think she drank anything , she thinks she is so nice . I real ly was surprised .

” And i f a fel low saw a good- looking girldrinking a cocktai l or a bottle of wine they wou ld wantto make a date with her right away . You can j udgefor you rsel f the popularity a person wil l get i f they dosuch a thing . T hat is another reason for a privateroom . I f a person wants a drink th ey can enj oy it to

T H E VVA IT E R 2 3

thei r heart'

s content without oth ers pass ing remarks .

It is a p lace for a fellow to bring his best girl , or

somebody els e ! s best girl,and enj oy themselves without

her best fel lowbeing any the wiser ! a very good placeto br ing your wi fe to dine ! a better place to bring somebody else ! s wi fe (For every th ing is on the ! . T . !A waiter that knows his bus iness don ! t know anyth ingand never sees anything, and a l l you sports knowwhat a waiter means when he says these wordsespec ial ly the bus iness men,

who knows a thing or

two about private room affairs i f he emp loyes any number o f help at al l , especial ly fema les . T h e next thingis when a waiter i s serving a party in the private room :

I f they have been there be fore they are very kind toh im ,

for he has p layed so many tricks on them they wil lbe more careful the next t ime . W hen a party comes ina private room for the first time

,the waiter wi l l fre

quently run into very fussy peopl e . T hey wil l tel l youthey want their order served thi s way and that way .

and“Be (1 quick about it, and don ! t lay down and

have a s leep on the way , or a smoke .

”T hese are some

of the few remarks which are given to us the firstthing without any provocation . W e l l , the waiter thatknows his place wi l l take it in goo d part , but he wi l lsay to himsel f ,

“I wi l l fix that fel low in some way andmake h im think he wished he was not so fresh .

”T he

waiter knows from his look or actions whether he hashis best girl with him , or i f he has h is wi fe or somebody else ! s wi fe , and then the waite r looks for a chanceto get back at him , and an opportun ity to p l ay trickson them . For instance

,I wil l te l l you one of the tri cks ,

wh ich I th ink is mora l enough,and you can guess

2 4 T H E W AITER

some of the others i f you are a good guesser , but iti s hard for you to do that i f you have not been in thehabit of going to these places . A waiter wil l take aman ! s order for dinner who is very fussy , above theordinary , and he is kicking about everything that heorders at the start . At the same time the waiter knows ,from observation , that he is as crooked as a fish -h ookand he knows he would not come to a private room i fhe was not in for “something doing

,so the waiter

takes his orde r and he leaves the room . Apparentlyon the impu lse of the moment he will spring backagain and ask him how he wants his order cooked

,or

some other b luff,in order to catch him at som e funny

tricks and , as luck wou ld have it , the party cannotanswer the waiter ! s question

,being so embarrassed ,

and is caught in such a position (holding hands i s notin it ! that he cannot speak at al l . T his i s one of h istricks . T he next time he comes , i f he ever comesagain , he is so kind and gentl emanly that he don

! tcare how long it takes to cook his order . He is th ebest friend the waiter has , and h e uses every precautionafter that . T here are a great many other tricks

,but

they cannot be mentioned at present . Personally thewaiter can tel l you them al l . In many cases the waiteri s cal l ed on as a witness to testi fy in a great manydivorce suits , so you don

! t know what time he can doyou a good turn .

T here was a rai lroad accident ou t West, and in one

of the papers it read l ike th is :

Four ki l led, two women,one man and a wai ter.

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2 6 T H E W AIT ER

FA RME R A ND WIFE!

S TR IP TO NE W YORK.

W ife—I wonder why they have these bi l l of faresprinted in French or German!

H usband— S0 th ey can warm over what is l eft fromy esterday .

CH APTE R XI .

INFORMATION BUREAU .

W aiter,give me my lunch quick ! I have got to go

to Pawtucket,or some other old town ! Do you know

wha t t ime the trol l ey leaves ! How long it takes to

get there ! Can I get the steam cars to carry methere in shorter time ! I am going to spend three hourswith my brother

! s folks ! when can I get a return car !

I am going to Boston next week to do some shopping,

see what time the train goes ! W aiter , wil l you pleaselook in the Di rectory and tel l me Mr . B

!

s address .

You know all this takes t ime . T hese are a few of thequestions asked

,and to be pol ite one must comply with

their wishes . I f they ask you what time a boat leavesH ong Kong for R ussia and you do not know ,

theyfeel very much disappo inted . T hey wi l l ask you what

p lays are going on this week at the various places ofmusements

,al l about the basebal l score

,boat race

,

and al l other things,which it is diffi cult for a waiter

to keep up with,besides attending to his own bus iness .

H owmany mi les to this place or that place ! I s it goingto rain today

,or snow, or do you think it ! s best for

T H E W AIT E R 2 7

me to carry an umbrel la ! T hey even want to knowwh ether

,i f they drink plenty of l iquor

,they wil l get

intoxicated . I can keep on writing all day and tell ingyou the fool ish questions asked , but they seemtoo s il ly to put in print . You know that inevery first- class place they have an orchestra and awaiter has to keep in touch with al l th e popular music .

Very often they are asked the name of the piece theyare play ing

,who composed it , who is the writer . T hey

wil l ask the waiter to have the orchestra play this pieceand that one , and very often they do not know whatthey are asking for . T hey even do not know how topronounce the name of the piece they want played .

T h en the waiter has to guess at it . I f he does notknow

,he ta lks it over with the leader of the orchestra

to find out, so we are musicians and we are not . I fwe could answer a l l the quest ions asked of us we wouldnot be employed as waiters . W e would be looking fora professorship in some col lege or some other greatplace of learning .

Waiter, give me an egg omel ett!

What a foo l ish order. W'

e a l l know ome l ettes are

made wi th eggs. H owwou ld th is sound (wh i ch means

the same th ing ! :“H ere is m y name-card .

CHAPT E R XII .

THREE K INDS OF PEOPLE— FUSSY,ADVERT I S ING SOCIETY.

T he fussy people are d ivided into classes by themselves . Some are natura l ly fussy , others are only oc

ca SIOnal ly so, and there are some that cou ld no t be

2 8 T H E W AIT ER

pleased , i f St. Peter himsel f were waiting on them .

T hey wil l come in to dine and the first thing they wil ldo is to gi ve their order . T hen they wil l make re

marks l ike this !“I want my order right away , and

(1 quick ! I want a drink ! th e first th ing I wantis a glass o f water ! bring me the daily paper . Howis a waiter going to satis fy a man l ike this ! He wantseverything right away and wants everything first . Howcan that be done ! Before the waiter gets throughwith him he receives a cal l , and is served on the kindo f dishes they have in the house . Sti l l they wan twh ite, green or blue service . W hy , i t wou ld keep apainter al l his time painting crockery to suit some peopl e so they would have the color of dishes they desire ,th e proper si lver

,or some other old thing they saw in

some other house where they had been fortunateenough to have some one ask them out to dinner . T h e

waiter tries to serve him as quickly as poss ible . I f heasks for hi s order from the cook before he gives thelatter a chance to cook it , the cook gets mad with h im .

It i s very d ifficult to have things come right i f you donot keep friendly with the cook . W e get much information from th at functionary in regard to many thingson which we wish to keep posted . W hen an order isproperly done it i s always sent to the waiter. You

cannot hurry things i f you want them properly cooked .

I do not blame the cook for becoming cross sometimes .

It i s very disagreeable to be standing over a hot rangeevery day

,especial ly during the summer months

,with

out being troub led by other affairs . W hen a cook isout in company with h is fel low men he i s as good aperson as you can find . W hen he is busy he i s l ike

T H E W AIT ER 2 9

one in a trance and he should not be bo th ered . T h eyhave many things to think of when they are cooking .

I f their mind is not on what they are doing,they can

not suit the taste , and then the people find faul t in thed ining-room . I t is al l blamed on the cook . T h e person in a hurry is the one that is a lways kicking . Nomatter how much time he has , he is a lways nervousand

“

wants everything in a ! ash . I f he has a train tocatch he i s there j ust as it i s pu l l ing out

,and anybody

in his way wi l l rece ive some remarks from him that isnot in the B ib le . I f he misses it by a m inute he is tel ling o f the mismanagement of the company

,or has

some o ther kick , trying to get square . T his person isput down as no good by everybody that comes in contact with h im .

Second ly—T he advertis ing people . I f you were tonotice these things the way a waiter does and understand them

,you would cal l it funny

,and a Show in

itsel f . A bus iness man wi l l appear in a d ining- rooma place that is po pular— frequented by the peop le his apt to dea l wi th , and especial ly a new place whichhas been recent ly opened he p icks out as a p lace for afield of operations . T he head waiter wi l l ass ign himto a table

,and as soon as he gets seated he begins to

rubber. I f h e sees any one h e knows it is a chance forh im to start his game o f advertis ing . He wi l l not betwo minutes at his table before he wi l l change . Inthe course of ch anging h is p lace he is shaking handswith every one he knows and bowing right and leftin such a manner that he attracts the attention of everybody . T h e lookers on wi l l inqu ire as to who that person i s and th ey wil l receive in rep ly that h e isMr. M . ,

30 T H E W A ITER

or -Mr . C . , who is in the p iano business , or cloth ingbusiness , or whatever bus iness he might have . You

can see where he gets his free ad . No matter whatthe incident that has happened worth record ing in history this free adverti s ing grafter was an eye—witnessto the affair, or Johnny-on- th e—Spot , yet at th e sametime he was many mi les away from the th ing that happened . E very time they come into the dining-roomthey want to see the proprietor, on no business whatever, but to show themselves , to let him know that heis patroni ! ing his place . Many of my readers wouldnever notice this manner of things . In th e future takenotice and you will be convinced that I am striking thenai l on the head

,especial ly in regard to the cheap

business people who advertise in this manner . In acommonsense express ion they are no goo d . W hereever they go they are looking after a two—for—one graft .T h e society people are very near on the same category .

As a matter of fact,they are not looking for an ad .

in business,but are looking for an ad . in

other ways . T hey are the noi s iest peopl e that entera dining- room

,with a few exceptions . I do not mean

boisterous or rough in thei r actions , but the clatteringo f their tongues would make a menagerie look l ike 30cents , one trying to out- talk the other ! to be noticedmore ! to look the most fascinating ! the one that talksand laughs the most to attract the attention of thepeople in the d ining-room with them . It is supposedamong the society people that the party laughing andtalking and attracting the most attention is the partythat is enj oying themselves most , as they look at it .But you ask the waiter whether the laughing, etc .

,i s

T H E W AIT ER 3 1

a l l enj oyment which comes from a gathering of thiskind

,and he wil l tel l you it is al l a blu ff . E verything

that i s done in a j ovial way IS only for eff ect for thelookers-on . You can talk about a book on characterstudy

,but the waiter has learned more from the society

people and others than a writer can express in words .

A waiter can tel l you more in a minute than Kipl ingor any oth er poet or book-writer can in a year . You

can bet that the kind of people I have described to younever pay cash for what they get. T hey will have thei rcheck charged . Not only that , but thei r bi l ls are veryhard to col lect . I f they buy a ten- cent article they wil lhave it del ivered . It wil l cost the firm two cents forpostage to send thei r bil l and two cents to return areceipted bi l l . You could get rich on that kind ofbus iness . A poor man wil l buy a loaf of bread

,pay

for i t in cash ,and carry it home himsel f . W hen they

g ive a dinner they want things j ust so, and are al lthe time kicking . W hen presented with the b l l l theyeven get insulted . A firm has to pay money out tofurnish the stock for dinner parties , and it takes solong to collect it that it is almost forgotten . Manytimes they wil l pay their last bi l l when they want togive another dinner party .

H inty ,M inty , Minthy M0 !

If y ou ever step on a waiter/s toe,Wh en h e hol lers you had better go.

P . S .

— A nd go d— L fast

, for h e knows howto sl ing

p lates.

3 2 T H E W A T IE R

S TR E NUOUS S OCIE TY LIFE .

IVI abel—“S ix lunch eons in one week! Did y our

gowns h o ld ou t!”

I rene—“Yes

,indeed but I hadn

!

t any conversation

for the last two days.

CHAPT E R XIII .

A WA ITER! S AMUSEMENTS AFTER HOURS .

T his i s the on ly time he has a l ittl e enj oyment . Canyou tel l me when at other than a fter hours he has achance ! I f there are more than one hotel in the city ,the wai ters from one house meet the waiters from ah

other house,and they wander off to some hotel that

i s run on the Bohemian principle . T hey have lunchand someth ing to drink ! tel l thei r experiences of thepast week and many incidents that have happened inthe dining room ! general ly there are some funny cor

versations,j okes and stories , and the waiter can tel l

them . Th ey are a very j ovia l class of people and al

ways wil l ing to forgive and forget . T hat is the waya waiter keeps in touch with the doings o f differenthotel s and places . In itsel f it is a regular hotel schoolsess ion . From th ese meetings he knows how much thevarious p laces are doing, the proprietors names , thenumber of help emp loyed at d ifferent hotel s , and thesalary they get . W e have to take in the shows everyweek

,not for our own amusement , but to keep in touch

with th e‘

times. I f we are not up to date we mightj ust as wel l go back and sit down . I f a waiter can

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34 T H E W AITER

For instance, he may have l itt le ones depend ing on

him for support . It is a trade you are al l the timelearn ing, for in this twentieth century of ours the people are not what they were ten years ago . I f youwant to suit the people you have to be up to the times .

Competition is so great that the place which caters tothe people of the present day and is up

-to-date is theplace that is popular and success ful .

CHAPT E R XV .

PROPRIETORS .

T h e writer! s experience has been very lucky withthe Proprietors . I have received cordia l treatmentfrom them . T hat cannot be said by al l the waiters ,and I think some of it is due to themselves . I havefound it so . You take the case, for example, of a waite r when first h e works in a place . He is a stranger,and wil l not be trusted

,but i f he is found to be honest

and industrious it wil l not take long for the proprietor to notice al l these l ittl e points

,and in the future he

is kind ly treated . He knows he is deserv ing of it . Hetakes an interest in his work , which not only helps thereputation of the place

,but his own reputation . He

is very much trusted afterwards . A waiter that is inthe habit of drinking and letting it interfere with hisdai ly work is not success ful . How can a propri etordepend on him ! T hese are the sort of fel lows thatmake uncomp l imentary remarks about them . Havingsaid a fewkind words about the good ones , I wi l l say

T H E W AITE R 35

a fewwords about the other class . Instead of speak ingin a gentleman ly way to their emp loyes , when theywant anything done, or i f they g ive orders of any kind ,they wil l pounce upon the person they are talking towithout cause

,th inking the work wil l . not be done

properly i f there isn ! t a few cross words to go w ith it .An employe looks on a proprietor as his master . Afew kind words spoken to a waiter is appreciated byhim . He wil l say to himse l f,

“I f we get used wrongby Some of the publ ic , there is one goo d thing,

we havea n ice proprietor . You can rest assured the waiterwho has any sense at al l , wil l look out for h is interestwhether he is watching him or not ! and he is spokeno f by the waiter with the greatest esteem . More workcan be done with a good wil l when they receive kindtreatment from the proprietor. A waiter workingagainst h is wil l is not profitabl e —you might j ust aswel l try to drive a balky horse . I am not writing al lo f this chapter for the proprietor

,to keep on the right

s ide of him . I am on ly tel l ing my experi ence and howI have known them .

T here was once a waiter who was al l the time beingca l l ed down by the proprietor, and h e to l d h is fe l lowwaiters about i t. One of them, an E ngl ishman

, said :“T e l l h im to go to

!

el l the nea t time he says any th ing

to you, and he wi l l stop cal l ing you down.

”T he next

time he did so, and the propri etor discharged h im . H e

then to l d the E ng l ishman that it was his fau l t that hewas discharged for tel l ing h im to say that. In rep lythe E ng l ishman said . What did y ou let him hear y ou

for !”

36 T H E W AITER

CHAPT E R XVI .

WHAT WA ITERS CALL GENTLEMEN .

Once a gentleman always a gentleman, i s an oldsaying. W el l , we do run into some good fel lows inthis l ine . I t does a waiter good to meet them

,especial

ly when his spirits are away down . It makes h im sorewhen he gets a cal l he does not deserve from a person .

T h e gentleman wil l come into the d ining-room and allthe boys wil l greet h im with a smil e and al l are wil l ingto wait on h im . He gives his order for d inner

,s its

there contented unti l h is order is served , and h e hassense . He knows the amount o f time it takes for various articl es of food to be cooked . He leaves the placesatisfied . He has given them time to have his ordercooked prope rly . He knows the waiter does not delayin serving him ! a waiter is anxious to finish his workas soon as he can . Th i s kind of a person is served inthe proper manner . E verything he eats is praised asbeing wel l cooked and properly seasoned . E verybodyserved that way gives some satis faction to the em

p l oy es, from the waiter to the cook, and even the pro

prietor. On the contrary , i f you order in a hurry itwil l not be properly cooked . You don ! t want to givethem the time to do it j ustice . T hese are the peoplethat go away d i ssatisfied and are a lways knocking thplace . It i s their own fau lt . T hat is th e kind of a mathat is never wrong and is a lways right .

Waiter, I wish y ou!

d take away that g lass ofwater.

I m ight drink it by mistake.

T H E W A ITER 3 7

CHAPT E R XVII .

WAITERS ! OPIN ION OF LABOR LAw.

For the last ten years the principal cry of the workman has been about labor ! what they have to performand the number of hours they have to work . But prev ious to that we had not heard so much of the agitationof the labor law . W hat a great field it has been forthe pol i ti c ian ! especia l ly the po l i t ical grafter, who hasspoken on every subj ect imaginable

,convinc ing the

people of th ings which were true and a good many moret imes convincing them of th ings that were not true .

It is a bless ing to them that the times have demandedsuch a subj ect as labor to talk on ! to keep themselvesfrom going stal e , and also to keep themse lves in the

pol it ica l field . T hey speak at all the pol it ica l meetingson this subj ect ! at a l l th e ra l l i es and caucuss es h eld prev ious to election . T hey have spoken of manufactur

ing people,of capita l i sts

,of al l kinds of business and

trades , and rid i cu led them for making the wage earnerwork more than ten hours a day ! of many tradesmenthat were on ly working eight hours a day

,but not

receiving a fu l l day ! s pay for it . Th ey have not lookedal l over the labor field , or h ave th ey forgotten thewaiter . Do they ignore him ,

or do they think he hasno vote , for which th ey are seeking ! Probab ly theythink he has no vote because he belongs to a shi ftyc lass of people . T hey never speak of the waiter in re

gard to the hours h e has to work or the salary he re

ceives. I do not see any reason for th eir forgetfu lness .T he waiter serves them when they are fix ing up manydeals in regard to pol it ics , and al l the kind of schemesthat precede election day ! he waits on them at manv

38 T H E W AITER

an early hour in the morning,when after attend ing a

publ ic meeting or recept ion , they go to a private roomin a hotel and te l l one another what a good bluff speechthey put up , and how it took . T h ey s imply size upthe crowd and the national ity it i s composed of andmake their speech accordingly

,sti l l

,forgetting the

waiter, who knowmore of them than the general publ i c does ! Does the pol itician forget our hours oflabor !

,He can agitate the eight or ten-hour law ,

but why does he not take a tumb le to himsel f and saysomething for the waiter

,who is working, not eight ,

or ten hours,but twelve and fi fteen

,and often twenty

a day ! I f the pol it ic ian is looking for a field for hisbluff labor speech es

,why does he not take a subj ect

that is not a bluff ! For example , a waiter! s hours of

labor . He wi l l be crowned with success and gain thepo int of his l i fe, and may rise to a position and repre

sent the people of the state by giving fair and honestspeeches which the publ ic at large knows o f. I amin sympathy with the laboring class of peop le , but thequest ion is : W hen you are agitating labor you mustnot forget the waiter !

Do you emp loy unionwaiters here !I th inknot! I sawone of them bringing an order in

a hurry .

CHAPT E R XVIII .

GOOD SERVICE.

W hat I ca l l good service i s wh en a party i s servedin proper time, each course in its proper place , w ith

T H E W AIT ER 39

ne'

atness in serving it ! to have the party go away satisfied and p leased with the cooking and the attentionthe waiter has shown , accompanied by the usual pol iteness . In this chapter is told to you the princip le ofgood service in a nut-she l l . I f you can give al l theserequirements the peopl e wil l be a lways pleased . I fyou treat the customer wel l the first time

,he wi l l al

ways ask for the same waiter . You can serve th e bestfood on the market to people and they wi l l not besati sfied i f you throw it at them . On the contrary, i fyou serve them in a nice manner any kind of foodpleases them .

CHAPT E R XIX .

A WAITER! S WORK AND LIFE.

A waiter has a good many th ings to do bes ides serving peop le . It is what is ca l led s ide work . He hasto prepare th e d in ing-room so every table wi l l havec lean cloths ! to see that in genera l appearance everything is c lean

,and to h ave everyth ing handy , so that

wh en bus iness starts al l th ings wi l l be in reaching d i stance to make the servi ce qu icker . In the performanceo f h is duties

,i f a waiter breaks any di sh es or glasses

he is charged for th em , but very often th ey are not

seen wh en th is happens . In many cases he is dockedfor being late . A waiter ! s l i fe is a fast one . WhatI mean by that is

,an o rdinary tradesman can work

in a shop a l l day and see nothing relating to everyday l i fe and the doings of th e people,

th at are betters ituated . After work he m ing les with the pe0p1e ,, but

40 T H E W AITER

his t ime is too short for h im to learn much about human nature . A waiter is always working in the midstof al l classes and at al l times sees many things andl earns much . A waiter can stand on any corner of thestreet and from the passers-by can tel l you the peopleo f every-day l i fe . I f you have trouble over legal matters and you consu lt him he can in most cases

,tel l you

some very good ideas to ‘ go by . I f he cannot,he is

acquainted with al l the men of al l kinds of profess ionsand he could tel l you the one to consult that wouldprove to be the best person for your case . Some professional men are so crooked you might run into thewrong one , because you don

!t know them as the waiterdoes . A waiter is O f a wandering nature

,because

he l ikes to vis it d iff erent places to see what is goingon . W hen he hears peop le talking of the diff erenttravel s

,it makes the waiter feel l ike seeing the places

and al l sorts of things . W hen he is in a strange landhe soon makes friends , and feels at home , no matterwhere he is . Most of them have a quiet d isposnion,

and when out to dine amongst themse lves they enj oyit . T hey know howto order . I f a waiter is in a hurryhe will not order something that i s not ready , and togo with it some vegetab les that wi l l take twenty minutes to cook . O f course , the business teaches h im better . He is always free with hi s cash and spends it asfreely as h e gets it . T h e wise one can accumulatequite a sum if he is foxy . Many a man in the business . i f he looks out for number one , can put a nicesum away for himsel f to use in his old days . I wil lrelate to you an incident of a Chicago hotel propri etor who was fond of fast horses . W hen he happenedon the speedway he always had a brush with many . I f

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42 T H E W A IT ER

a do! en substitutes on his staff,for you don ! t know

when your men are going to quit you . You don ! tknow the schemes they make up

,and sometimes they

walk out together and l eave the place in a bad fix . You

may hire a gang of fel lows today and tomorrow theywil l not Sh ow up . Very few wil l give you notice . Ahead waiter has to know al l the tricks of the trade

,

and they are many . You have to watch them closely ,for i f you don ! t they wi l l make more money than theproprietor . T o keep their checks straight is a task initsel f . E very system of checks has been outdone bythe waiter . Some o f them won ! t stay in places wherethey cannot make a fair salary by scheming . A waitercan understand this better than any one . A head waitermust give them to understand they must do what hewants them to do . I f he i s good-natured with themthey take advantage of it ! they wi l l impose on him andwil l not mind him when he tel l s th em to do anything .

T his i s the reason a proprietor, when he has a headwaiter in charge of his dining-room , should give himful l charge and uphold him . I f some are favoredthere cannot be any system

,and consequently no dis

cipl ine in the d ining- room . T here are t imes when ah ead waiter should use a l ittle d iscretion . Anybodyis l iable to make a mistake . I f a waiter should makea mistake

,and it is not intentional , he shou ld not

discharge him but give him a chance . I f he should dothings to beat the house

,or was s loth fu l in his work ,

and was cautioned severa l times , h e should be d ischarged . At the same time

,i t i s not necessary for a

h ead waiter to be too offi cious , which i s often the case .

T hey do not know how long their j ob wi l l last , and inmost cases they are compel led to work as a common

T H E NVA IT E R 43

waiter themse lves . W hen a customer comes into adin ing-room

,i f the head waiter does not notice him

and say : “H ow do you do ! ” make al l kinds of blu ff

conversation ! almost carry them to their tab le,and

do everything but eat for them , they very Often walkout. T hat is what we cal l spo i led people . T hey donot come to satis fy thei r appetite . It i s to occupy atab le and do a l ittl e rubbering , and this i s a great opportunity for them to gossip .

Once th ere was a waiter wh om th e propri etorthough t made more than h imself

,and one day he cal led

h im into h is office and said :“I d ischarge y ou !

”T he

waiter wanted to know th e reason, and the proprietorsaid :

“You have only worked h ere three months and

y ou have bui l t a house.

”Th e wai ter answered, say ing :

Why don!

t y ou keep me ! I have my house bui l t and

the other man y ou h ired in my p lace has not.

CHAPT E R XXI .

TIPPING.

T his is the most important part of this book , whichthe writer, a waiter of long experience and a fe l lowo f fair mind , takes the most pride in . Before I fin

i sh th i s chapter al l may hear from me , in a l l kinds ofways

,so it may interest you , and i f i t does not you

are re ferred to the caus e of this chapter . Many atime a poor, h onest expert waiter has lost his employment through the ignorant maltreatment of uneducatedand other kinds of peop le . A lthough many tip waiters

,

there are a great many more who do not know why

44 T H E W AITER

they should . T he people who dine in the so-cal ledfirst—class restaurants should real i ! e that the waiterwho serves them gets a smal l salary

,and depends on

his t ip for his l ivel ihood . W hen you enter a res taurantwh ere it i s customary to tip the waiter

,you know per

fectly wel l what you are doing . You know the waiterthat serves you works on a salary

,arranged on a fee

giving bas is . I f you refuse to pay the customary fee,

on are robbing the waiter of his j ust due,exactly as

if ! ou held back part of the sum due the owner of theplace . Surely i f the people who patronize these first

class houses and restaurants expect extraordinary at

tention,I think the service should be paid for in tips .

W e get a small salary for putting the food,wines

,etc . ,

on the tab le , but thi s is not service . W e suggest topeople what to eat , drink , and what is in season . W e

serve, carve and do most everything but eat it . T h e

waiter mus t get the best there i s and be quick aboutserving it . For al l this he must stand in with the cooks ,omnibusses and pantry men , who expect thei r fee aswel l as the waiter expects h is . W e must have spotlessl inen , wear good clothes , have a clean shave, shoespol ished

,clean col lars and cuff s

,a p leasant smile

,a

j ovial d ispos ition ! be an encyclopedia of know ledge !speak two or three languages and work seven days aweek and many extra hours . Al l these odd things costmoney

,so you cannot blame him for looking for tips .

T h e man who works hard and honest ly is entitled tohis ful l reward . T h e other man , who is bent on pleasure

,should be wi l l ing to let somebody else enj oy a

l ittle prosperity . On various arguments we base ourdeclaration that the waiter ! s fee 1 5 a legitimate part ofhi s earnings

,and the fee he gets shou ld not be given

T H E W AITER 45

grudging ly . T ipp ing is one of the branches o f awaiter ! s business , and i f there i s a waiter wh o i s no tlooking for it , you can bet he is not a first-class man .

I t is j ust‘

the same as a broker buying or sel l ing realestate . He is looking for his commiss ion

,and for the

interest of his customers , the same as the waiter thati s serving you is looking for your interest and seesthat everything is first- class in every respect .

DON!

T s it and stop to think andFORGE T the time is ! eeing.

TO hes itate means a lostT IP

, Skip and run with al l your m 1gh t,

T H E time is ! eeing, and we must keep upthe fight . A

WAIT E R !

S cause is what we cal l al l right .

A WAIT E R .

A waiter wi l l never ask y ou to tip,But you can tel l by h is eyes he wants you to d ip ,And when you do he is content ,For a l l he is looking for is j ust a few cents .

T h e Lo rd h e lp the man who does not comp ly ,W ith th 1 s ru le o f looking into hi s eye !For the next time you come to d ine in stead of ordering

toast ,A l l you w il l get i s a d good roast.

46 T H E WAIT ER

So when you are out to d ine or to boo! e,Be care ful , don

!

t use him any old way you choo seFor the man is wel l marked that is a bul ly this wayAnd wi l l be treated on the bum i f he does not pay .

A waiter is a waiter wherever he goes,

So be care fu l you don ! t step on his toes .

I f any man thinks he wil l not accept a tip

He ought to get a few j abs on his upper l ip !And when he goes to the doctor to have it fixed upH e wi l l tel l him h e made a bad sl ip-up .

I f y ou want to be up-to-date

W h en you order a two dollar plate,

Don ! t forget to give the waiter hi s rake !And when you die Peter wil l say ,“I f you are a friend of the waiters you can come here

to stay .

”

And i f not a friend on this earth

In the hereafter you wil l get nothing but dirt .

So be fairm inded , honest and p lain ,And don ! t forget the waiter is deserving of a good

name .

And al l the goo d fel lows wi l l be awarded above

And see al l the waiters as pure as a dove !For they have received p lenty of hel l on earth

And there in heaven wi ll enj oy al l kinds of mirth .

So al l the winers and diners j oin hands with the boyson this earth

T H E W AITER 47

And you wil l al l be rewarded because you did not

shirk .

All you st iff s take warning and fear ,For Luci fe r wil l have a good hold on your ear

And when you holl er murder,and he lp

,

T he waitl

er wil l give y ou a push that wi l l make youye P

And after you are placed on the grateT he waiter wil l shout , give him coa l at one cent a

plate,

And keep putting it on unti l it i s late .

On earth he would keep a waiter waiting on him untilearly morn ,

So while he is there keep it good and warm .

I f on the next shi ft he begs to go back to earth

Luci fer wil l make him proérnise to the waiters he wi l l

not shirk .

So I wil l finish my poem ,

And you can bet the waiter has

Friends wherever he roams .

Be goo d to the waiters i f you want any fame

For the waiter that wrote th is has a very good name .

J. J. FLANAGAN .

T H E E ND.