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Transcript of November—December 2013
For more information: holtinternational.org/korea
888-355-HOLT
Fall
2013
HURRY!Great gift ideas inside! GIfts of hopeINSIDE: Christmas 2013
A partnership for children and families in Ethiopia
Moving
HEARTS ACTIONto
november-december 2013 vol. 55 no. 5
our visionA world where every child has a loving and secure home.
In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Cambodia, China, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea), Ethiopia, Haiti, India, Nepal, the Philippines, the Republic of Korea (South Korea), Thailand, Mongolia, Uganda, the United States and Vietnam.
president & ceoPhillip A. Littletonvice-president of Africa & haiti programsDan Lauervice-president of finance & Administration Kevin Sweeneyvice-president of Adoption services Lisa Vertulfovice-president of development Jack Wharfieldvice-president of policy & external Affairs Susan Soonkeum Coxvice president of Asia programsDavid Limvice president of china programsJian Chen
Holt International magazine is published by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit, Christian, child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization.
creative services director Brian Campbellcreative services manager Laura Mathews managing editor Robin Munrowriter/editor Ashli Keyserwriter/editor Billie Loewen
subscription orders/Inquiries & Address changesSend all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts or photos.
reprint InformationPermission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor Brian Campbell at 541/687.2202 or [email protected].
copyright ©2013 by holt International children’s services, Inc.Issn 1047-7640
in this issue4 A Place of Hope & Promise
In Shinshicho, Ethiopia, Holt is partnering with the local community to improve the lives of children and families.
11 Holt’s Gifts of Hope catalogHonor your loved ones this holiday season by giving gifts of hope to children and families in need.
22 Adoptees TodayAn adult adoptee shares her story of meeting her birth family in Korea.
24 Post Adoption Struggling with their daughter’s indiscriminate affection, a family learns ways to teach her about appropriate boundaries.
This month, we explore Holt's work in Ethiopia, from family strengthening projects like the Shinshicho Mother and Child Hospital, to the changing adop-tion landscape. Cover photo by Jessica Boever Photography.
P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175
Dear Readers
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2robin munro | Managing Editor
I’m excited to share with you the fall 2013 issue of Holt International Magazine! In
this issue, we feature a story about our recent work in Ethiopia. In three vignettes, staff
writer Billie Loewen explores the different ways Holt is working to improve the health
and wellbeing of families and children in the southern region of Shinshicho — from
supporting a new school for deaf children, to partnering with the community to build
a hospital focused on maternal-child health. These projects bolster our efforts to help
vulnerable children remain in the loving care of their birth families, and we are so
excited to see the lasting impact they will have on this beautiful community.
This month, we are also celebrating another important part of our work. November
is National Adoption Month! While in recent years we have broadened the scope of
our work to focus on family strengthening and other child welfare programs, interna-
tional adoption remains a significant part of what we do. We still seek a world where
every child has a loving and secure home. And we still seek families for children who
truly need them — children like Kettie Lou Britton, whose face graces the cover of this
magazine. Kettie just came home to her family from Ethiopia this past July. Her story
is featured on page 8.
This National Adoption Month, join us in advocating for children who need families!
Start by reading about Shaun, Scott, Anderson and Andy in the waiting child section of
this magazine. Boys, especially older boys, continue to need extra help finding loving
families, and you can help by sharing their stories.
During this year’s awareness campaign, we will be sharing lots of wonderful family
and adoptee stories on the Holt blog and social media pages. We will also post stories
about children waiting for families, and helpful information about everything from
affording adoption to post-adoption services for families and adoptees. As an adoptive
parent, you can encourage others to consider adoption by sharing your own story. Or if
you’re considering adoption — what a wonderful month to begin your journey! Follow
us online at www.holtinternational.org/blog for more ideas and inspiration on how you
can help advocate for orphaned and abandoned children this National Adoption Month.
Adoption Rocks!
directions
P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175
A message of hope, A Gift of love A holiday message from Holt’s President and CEO
Weaved throughout the Christmas season is the theme
of “messages.” We celebrate Christmas to remember the
birth of our savior, Jesus Christ. God sent Jesus to earth
to share His message of love and hope for the future. And
today, as we prepare for the holidays, we receive messages
in our mail from family and friends, wishing us happiness
and health. These warm messages offer us all a heart-
felt reminder of all the blessings the Lord has provided
throughout the year.
I recently returned from a trip to Ethiopia, a beauti-
ful country, indeed, but one that is in desperate need of
another kind of message — a message from people here in
the United States, especially at Christmas time. A message
that we have not forgotten what the Lord has called us to
do: “help the widows and orphans in their distress.”
Through our special Gifts of Hope catalog, Holt offers
you a chance to do just that, and not only in Ethiopia.
Maybe you adopted a child from China or India. Wouldn’t
it be special to send a Christmas gift to a vulnerable child
who lives in your child’s birth country? Or help a struggling
family provide for their children? This holiday season, you
can purchase gift items for your family members and other
loved ones that will go directly to children in Holt’s care.
Items that will help a girl in India receive a proper educa-
tion, or help a family generate income.
This Christmas, you can also help Holt finish construc-
tion on the maternal-child hospital in Shinshicho, Ethiopia
— the project featured on page 6. Through your gift, you
could help save the lives of thousands of children, and
bring a brighter future to the people of Shinshicho.
Just as we receive loving messages during Christmas
time, it’s time to send the people of Ethiopia, and all the
countries where we work, a message that we care about
what happens to them. A Christ-centered message of good
wishes, of health, of happiness and of hope.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
phillip A. littleton | President
Scan here for Gifts of Hope giving opportunities online.Scan here for Gifts of Hope giving opportunities online.
In 2010, Ato Abebe AburA, a business-
man in Shinshicho, Ethiopia, was walking
through a lively market where residents
sell coffee beans from hand-woven bas-
kets, rolls of colorful fabric, and heaps of
bananas. Families were busy buying and
selling goods, and children were busy run-
ning and playing. He saw a group of children
surrounding one boy. At first, he thought
they were playing. When he realized the
boy was being beaten, Abebe rushed in to
help. He broke up the crowd and pulled the
boy to his feet.
It took a moment, but Abebe soon real-
ized why the boy was being bullied. He was
deaf.
In Shinshicho, the rate of deafness in
children is alarmingly high. More than 500
children in the area have been identified as
deaf, and most are from poverty-stricken
families — the same families we support
through family strengthening and other
programs. No one is sure why deafness
is so prevalent here. Some think it may
be an adverse side effect of malaria, or
even malaria antibiotics. Others suspect
it’s genetic.
While the cause is unclear, the impact
on deaf children is quite apparent — and
goes beyond a daily struggle to communi-
cate. In Ethiopia, most physical disabilities
are heavily stigmatized. “For children with
disabilities, including deafness and blind-
ness, it is very terrible,” says Dan Lauer,
Holt’s vice president of programs in Africa
and Haiti. “They are marginalized from the
community.”
Until three years ago, the deaf children of
Shinshicho were mostly kept behind closed
doors and had nowhere to learn. Without a
place in society, they also risked losing their
families — ending up on the streets, vulner-
able to abuse and exploitation.
In 2010, Abebe convInced coun-
try officials to donate a mud-and-stick,
two-room school, and he worked with the
ministry to find sign language teachers.
Recognizing that this school is vital to
keeping deaf children in their families, Holt
aided with supplies, and now about 200 stu-
dents attend the first school in Shinshicho
for deaf children. For some of these chil-
dren, the school is the first place — outside
of their homes — where they feel safe and
loved.
During Dan’s visit in August, he watched
as children bent and curled their fingers,
following the hand movements of their
teachers in white lab coats. Their shoulders
touched those of the student sitting on a
bench next to them, and the classroom
was hot and sticky. The teacher scratched
a stick-figure shape of a dog onto the black-
board with chalk. The kids slapped their
thigh twice, lifted their hand near their chin
and snapped their fingers. Dog.
In the classroom with older kids, they
were stringing together sentences, and
learning to write in English and Amharic.
“This school is giving our children a
chance for a future,” one student’s father
told Dan. “Before they came to this school,
they could not talk to anyone, includ-
ing their mothers and fathers. Now they
have a life that was not possible before.
Whatever it takes to get them to school, we
will do it.”
On Saturdays, parents attend classes too,
learning to communicate with their child
for the first time. The parents laugh and
follow along in the lesson with their child.
Some have walked up to eight miles to be
here. “Most of these parents are very poor,”
Dan says. “They are mostly illiterate and for
them, this is their first time receiving an
education. It’s very emotional for them.”
AlreAdy, the number of students
has overwhelmed the available space and
resources. When the school opened, they
had space for 50 students, but didn’t want
to turn away any of the hopeful faces who
showed up — eager to learn.
With the help of local officials and Holt,
the community is drafting plans to expand
the school. Next year, the school hopes to
add at least 100 new students, and continue
adding students at the same rate each year
until every deaf child is included.
By giving them a place in society, this
grassroots movement is slowly erasing the
stigma against deaf children in Shinshicho.
“For the first time, kids get to have support-
ive friendships and normal childhoods,” Dan
said. “They get to re-enter their community,
and be embraced.”
Holt is working with the school to deter-
mine how we can continue to assist. Holt
hopes to add 50-100 families with deaf
children to our sponsorship and family
strengthening program. In addition to edu-
cational assistance, sponsors will help pro-
vide these families with medical care, live-
stock and other projects to generate income,
and other vital services. While these family
strengthening services will help keep deaf
children in their families, the education
they receive at the school is essential to their
overall health and wellbeing. In many ways,
supporting this school is an important part
of achieving our mission in Shinshicho.
Less than three blocks away stands the
nearly complete Shinshicho Mother and
Child Hospital — the hospital Holt is help-
ing to build for the people of this commu-
nity. Dan hopes that once the hospital is
operational, some time and resources will go
toward studying and identifying the cause
of deafness in the region — and ultimately,
eradicating it from Shinshicho.
A PLACE OF HOPE & PROMISE
billie loewen | Staff Writer
Whether it is two communities partnering to build a life-saving hospital, sponsors and parents joining forces to educate children with special needs, or a family welcoming home their newest edition, Holt International and the people of Shinshicho, Ethiopia have come together for one cause: to give children a brighter, more hopeful future.
A PLACE TO LEARN
TOP LEFT: Students follow along with their teacher during a lesson at Shinshicho's first school for deaf children. The number of deaf children in this region is alarmingly high, and no one is sure why it is so prevalent. TOP CENTER: A teacher signs the alphabet with her students. When the school for deaf children opened in 2010, the teachers expected 50 students. On the first day, more than 100 showed up for classes. The school has grown to include 200 students, and hopes to add 100 new students per year until every deaf child is in attendance. TOP RIGHT: On Saturdays, parents attend class with their child. Some are learning to communicate with their child for the first time. BOTTOM: Children run and play near Shinshicho, where the first deaf school in the region is helping erase the stigma associated with this common special need.
the pArKInG lot of Eugene, Oregon’s Big Y
Storage looks like a Tetris board of metal IV
drips, padded gurneys and birthing equip-
ment. On an unseasonably hot September
morning, volunteers from four local organi-
zations and businesses are emptying three
large bays of storage, each overflowing with
medical gadgets, into a semi-truck.
From the Big Y lot, the equipment will
embark on the first leg of a two-month jour-
ney, from Eugene to Seattle in a 40-foot ship-
ping crate, across the Pacific by ship to the
port of Djibouti in the horn of Africa, then by
truck to its final destination — the hospital
Holt is helping to build in Shinshicho.
In this isolated region scarred by civil war,
famine and illness, thousands of women
and children die every year in childbirth, or
from other preventable causes.
Three years ago, Holt allied with the
Shinshicho community to combat
this reality. Together, we would build a
40,000-square foot maternal and child hos-
pital in Shinshicho, equipped with surgical
units, X-ray labs and more than 100 doc-
tors trained in advanced care. Although
this project developed from a partnership
between Holt and Shinshicho, Holt never
anticipated this decision would unite two
communities from opposite ends of the
globe; together, we would turn an incredible
vision into a life-saving reality.
It all started in 2007.
when holt beGAn a family strength-
ening project in Shinshicho six years ago,
the region's only health clinic desperately
needed repairs. Many mothers were forced
to gamble on their health, and the health
of their children. When children had high
fevers or mothers went into labor, they
could try to make the 12-mile journey by
foot to the nearest hospital, or hope for the
best. Seeing the tremendous need for bet-
ter medical care, Holt helped revamp the
run-down clinic, and more than 50,000
people received care the first year. Still,
the clinic couldn’t treat more advanced
conditions.
At the urging of Shinshicho elders, Holt
and officials from Ethiopia began to draft
plans for a hospital focused on mother and
child health, but equipped to offer life-sav-
ing medical care to the 250,000 people who
live in the region.
Neither Holt nor Shinshicho could have
predicted how God would make the hospital
come together. But Psalm 145:14 is a remind-
er that, “The Lord is faithful to all His prom-
ises and loving toward all He has made.”
True to His promises, the Lord orchestrated
a plan that moved hearts to action.
In 2009, a year before the hospital project
officially began, Patric and Holly Campbell
traveled to Ethiopia to adopt their son,
Miles. While there, they visited the clinic in
Shinshicho, and heard about plans for the
new hospital. Not long after the trip, Patric
was in a board meeting at Slocum Center for
Orthopedics and Sports Medicine in Eugene,
Oregon — the Campbells just happen to
live in the same town as Holt’s headquar-
ters — when he heard the company wanted
LEFT: Rotary Club members help move donated hospital equipment from storage bays into a semi-truck. The
equipment arrived in Shinshicho, Ethiopia in October. CENTER: Children and parents near the mother and child
hospital Holt is helping to build in Shinshicho. In Shinshicho, the closest hospital is about 12 miles away. RIGHT: The
mother and child hospital in Shinshicho is expected to be complete in early 2014.
Neither Holt nor Shinshicho elders could have predicted how God would make the hospital come together. But Psalm 145:14 is a reminder that, “The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made."
A PLACE TO HEAL
To help support the Shinshicho Mother and Child Hospital, turn
to page 17
to upgrade some of their X-ray equipment.
Patric saw an opportunity to help the hos-
pital that still weighed heavy on his heart,
and asked Slocum to donate their unneeded
equipment to Shinshicho.
“The equipment still had a 20-plus year
lifespan,” Patric says, “Slocum didn’t want
the equipment to become junk.”
In 2010, Slocum donated two full rooms of
X-ray equipment, including tables, machines
and film processing materials.
meAnwhIle, In shInshIcho, the hos-
pital project was transforming local families
before the foundation had even been poured.
Holt strived to employ locals to build the
hospital, which created more than 200 new
jobs in the area.
“Part of the reason the hospital is tak-
ing longer to build is that it was important
to keep the work local, which means the
workers had to be trained,” says Holt’s vice
president of Africa programs, Dan Lauer.
The construction crew has learned skills
that will continue to increase their employ-
ment opportunities long after the hospital
is complete, ultimately strengthening their
ability to provide for their children.
Four village elders rallied the community
to raise funds, and gathered support from
farmers, ministry officials and local lead-
ers. Already, the people of Shinshicho have
pooled more than $150,000, and they’ve
done it by donating $2-20 at a time. Many
people in Shinshicho live on less than $2 per
day, so these funds represent a tremendous
sacrifice. “When I visit people struggling to
survive — they mostly live on subsistence
farming — it’s amazing to think of that
many donations,” Dan says.
After slocum donAted the X-ray
equipment, Patric told hospital administra-
tors about Shinshicho, and some clinics
donated equipment. Patric also met with
Eugene’s Delta Rotary Club, which shared
some incredible news. Across Oregon, when
medical clinics updated their equipment,
rotary clubs in the area had the vision to
place the discarded equipment into storage.
Across the state, hospital supplies began to
stockpile, waiting to be put to good use.
Shinshicho was the perfect opportuni-
ty.
In 2011, Big Y Storage donated three bays
of space to keep the hospital equipment in
one central location in Eugene.
On the equipment shipping day, Rotary
Club members volunteered to do the heavy
lifting, and an international shipping com-
pany based in Eugene, Lile Moving and
Storage, donated trucks to facilitate the
haul. Wheelchairs, ultrasound machines,
and exam tables litter Big Y’s parking lot.
While Patric coordinates the move on his
cell phone, volunteers carry boxes of gowns,
blankets and X-ray illuminators into the
truck, which will then transport the sup-
plies to Lile’s headquarters. Then, every-
thing, including Slocum’s X-ray equipment,
will be loaded into one of two 40-foot metal
shipping containers.
Already, Shinshicho is drafting future
plans for the hospital. The district donated
a large parcel of land, which could some day
house medical staff offices or a care center
for the elderly. The zonal health ministry
is committed to staffing the hospital long-
term, and continuing to invest financial
resources in the project.
The community of Eugene helped the hos-
pital get off the ground, but it’s the commu-
nity of Shinshicho that will keep the hospital
running for years to come. The hospital is
set to open in early 2014, and already there
is a sense of hope — both in Eugene and
Shinshicho — for the future.
the bus bounced and bobbled during
a 45-minute drive on rough, dirt roads
through Ethiopia’s capital city. Shannon
and Jeff Britton had studied books on the
region, but this was their first time in the
country, and as the driver pulled up to a
small gate and honked a few times to be
let in, their hands shook with nervous-
ness. The care center director welcomed
the American guests, and led them to a
back room where a row of babies was fast
asleep. The caretaker picked up one baby,
a tiny 14-month-old who had just recently
entered care. Ketinbone, which means “she
who has pride,” wore a blue denim dress,
her short, dark hair separated into little
ponytails all over her head. Shannon wasn’t
sure whether to laugh or cry. She and Jeff
had waited more than two years for this
moment, fighting off doubt that it would
ever come. When the caretaker handed
Ketinbone to Shannon, the baby didn’t cry
or seem scared. Her big, sleepy brown eyes
curiously studied the woman smiling down
on her, tears in her eyes.
Ketinbone didn’t know it, but she was
meeting her parents for the first time.
In KetInbone’s nAtIve ethIopIA, more than 4.6 million children are miss-
ing one or both parents. Illness, economic
instability, and drought all threaten the
livelihood of families and children — chil-
dren like Ketinbone, who is just one of
many whose family felt compelled to relin-
quish her not for lack of love, but lack of
resources.
When Holt began our work in Ethiopia in
2007, we aimed to help strengthen vulner-
able families, and find families for orphaned
and abandoned children — for children who
truly need adoption to have a stable, loving
home. Whenever possible, we strive to keep
or reunite children with their birth families
before pursuing adoption. But some children
have lost their families. Or in some cases,
their families have made the informed deci-
sion to place them for adoption. For these
children, adoption is truly the best avenue
to a stable, loving family.
This fact has remained unchanged in the
years since Holt began placing children from
Ethiopia. What has changed is the number
of children coming home every year.
In 2008, adoption placements grew as
hopeful adoptive families learned of the
need in Ethiopia. The following year,
Shannon and Jeff Britton spent a week car-
ing for orphans in Guatemala, and their
hearts opened to the idea of adoption. On
Shannon’s 25th birthday — in 2010 — they
submitted paperwork to adopt a child from
Ethiopia. A short while later, Ethiopia began
to limit placements and create stricter adop-
tion guidelines over concerns about child
trafficking. While Holt joined forces with
the U.S. and Ethiopian government to help
ensure important protections for children
and their birth parents, the process slowed
to a near halt for many families. Meanwhile,
the number of orphaned and abandoned
children continued to grow.
Caught in the delays, the Brittons con-
tinued to wait for a match. They stayed
awake at night questioning whether adop-
tion was really God’s plan for them, and
every time Holt’s 541 area code appeared
on their phones — their hearts jumped, and
then sank. Then, one afternoon nearly two
years into the process, Shannon laid her son
down for a nap, and kicked back to relax.
Her phone rang.
“It was a number I didn’t recognize,
but it said Oregon, and if you’re adopting
from Holt, you always answer if it’s a call
from Oregon,” Shannon says. “I said hello,
expecting that we needed to turn some-
thing in.”
The call was from Holt. They had a daugh-
ter.
Crying, shaking and jumping, Shannon
drove to meet Jeff at his office. Together,
they opened an email from Holt, and a
picture of Ketinbone stared back at them.
In July 2013 — two years and eight months
from the time they applied to adopt —
Shannon and Jeff brought their daughter,
“Kettie Lou,” home.
todAy, As ethIopIA contInues to
strengthen safeguards for children, the
standard time frame to adopt from Ethiopia
is upwards of 26 months. But just this year,
Holt’s Ethiopia program has matched 70
children with families — a number small in
comparison to the 186 placed in 2010, but a
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TOP LEFT: Kettie Lou with her older brother, Charlie. Shannon says the siblings quickly became best friends. MIDDLE LEFT: Shannon and Kettie Lou meet for the first time at a childcare center in Addis, Ethiopia. Shannon and Jeff brought Kettie Lou home two years and eight months after applying to adopt. BOTTOM LEFT: Shannon, Jeff and Charlie welcome home Kettie Lou, one of 70 children Holt placed in 2013. RIGHT: Shannon says Kettie Lou is learning quickly. She is giggly and loves to eat.
A PLACE TO CALL HOME
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significant increase from the last two years. While the majority of chil-
dren being placed in loving homes are infants-to-3 years old, older chil-
dren, children with special needs, and sibling groups are also finding
families. As referral ages vary, Holt is only accepting applications from
families who are open to adopting a child 5 years or older, which helps
ensure that every child referred to us for home-finding will soon be
matched with a family. To keep wait times reasonable for families, our
Ethiopia program is only accepting a limited number of applications.
Shannon and Jeff say even though their process was tricky, the
transition home has been relatively easy. Kettie is giggly and happy.
She gained five pounds in her first seven weeks home. She and her
brother Charlie are best friends, and Kettie is learning to identify all
the members of her big new family. When Kettie is ready to learn about
her family in Africa, Holt has provided Jeff and Shannon an incredible
resource to guide that conversation.
In AprIl, holt began a partnership with care centers in Ethiopia
to create an innovative new resource for adoptees and their parents,
called “life books,” which are short, deeply personalized documen-
taries on the child’s birth country and life prior to adoption. The life
book helps answer an adoptee’s questions about his or her birth family,
and also reassures parents that their child’s relinquishment was well
considered and done purely out of love.
Kettie’s life book is about 11 minutes long and includes interviews
with her birth mother, scenes from the town where she was born, and
important information about Kettie’s birth family and circumstances
of relinquishment. The DVD is both heartbreaking and reassuring,
intimate yet candid.
Jeff and Shannon say Kettie’s life book is a blessing. Some day, it will
help answer questions Kettie may have, and remind Kettie how deeply
loved she was and is.
“We knew a lot of Kettie’s story before the life book was given to us,”
Shannon says. “Because of that, it was hard for us to get the courage
to watch it. We deeply love Kettie’s birth mother, and are saddened by
the events in her life. The blessing Kettie is to our family and our gain
came with great loss and pain for her young birth mother.” Like many
young women, Kettie’s birth mother faced tremendous struggles, and
wanted Kettie to have a better future.
Shannon is grateful that Kettie will be able to see what her birth
mother looks like, and hear how much she loves her.
While adoption wasn’t easy for the Brittons, it was worth it. “We
would cry every tear and go through those sleepless nights again in
a heartbeat,” Shannon says. “She is more than worth the wait.”
Interested in adopting from Ethiopia? Learn more at www.holtinternational.org/ethiopia.
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED to promote child sponsorship!Join Holt International & NewSong at
COMING SOON TO YOUR AREA!
SIGN UP TODAY!
we need volunteers for wInter JAm 2013Your gift of time for one evening will positively impact
a vulnerable child’s life forever!
Since 2006, NewSong has helped find more than 50,000
new sponsors for vulnerable children around the world.
We are excited to join forces again in 2013 to advocate for
orphaned, abandoned and at-risk children and families
overseas! Every year, in jam-packed stadiums from
the West to the East coasts, Winter Jam artists inspire
thousands of people to sponsor children in need.
Tell your family and friends about this fun and easy
way to make a difference in the life of a child — with Holt
and NewSong at a concert near you!
We look forward to seeing you at one of the 50 winter
and spring concerts planned for Winter Jam 2014! See
Holt’s website for a full list of concert dates and locations
and to register online as a volunteer!
Register NOW to volunteer at
a concert in your area! Go to:
holtinternational.org/winterjam
be A volunteer SIGN UP ONLINE AT: holtinternational.org/winterjam
YOU CAN HELP CHANGE A CHILD'S
LIFE FOREVER!
On September 24, 2004, we welcomed home our first child from
Ulsan City, South Korea — a boy we named Jake. When he came off
the plane, a relative of his escort pulled my husband aside and whis-
pered in his ear, “He is a wise old soul.”
Jake is a third grader now. He is a smart, compassionate kid with
one main love — hockey. When Jake was in preschool, he would use
everything — blocks, playdough, markers — to create a hockey arena.
He would make his classmates or friends stand while he sang both the
U.S. and Canadian national anthems. Always a determined little kid,
he learned to skate as a young toddler and now plays goalie for the
New Jersey Youth Devils hockey club.
We live in the suburbs of New Jersey, where our kids attend Brunner
Elementary School. As part of a grade-wide service learning project,
the third graders embarked on a mission to help others who need
companionship. The class identified and discussed different groups
who may be in need. After their teacher, Mrs. Pincus, read them a
child’s story about a community coming together to help those in
need — Give a Goat by Jan Schrock — Jake’s class was determined to
raise enough money to help struggling families. Some students held
bake sales, while others donated money from their allowances.
Inspired by the book and his classmates’ efforts, Jake came home
from school with an idea. He wanted to organize a fundraising event
that combined his desire to help others with his favorite sport, hockey.
He simulated a game often held between periods in NHL arenas
across North America, called Super Score O. In Super Score O, partici-
pants try to shoot a puck into the net from a set distance. It’s not an
easy game for any adult, let alone a third grader! Despite an early heat
wave in New Jersey, friends came out in droves to participate in Score
O. All together, his class raised $892.94, of which Jake and his Score O
teams contributed $330.
We weren’t surprised when Jake wanted to incorporate a hockey
theme into helping others, but we were surprised by how much
money he was able to raise. We were even more surprised when we
heard whom the money would benefit.
When Jake’s class was deciding where to donate the money, Jake
told them about Holt International, the agency through which we
adopted him and his sister, Chloe. After he shared how Holt helps
orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children all over the world, Mrs.
Pincus’ third grade class decided to donate half the money they raised
to Holt. As a special way to honor Jake, the class felt the money should
go specifically towards the South Korea program! Of the $450 donated
to Holt, more than $300 will help children in Korea who need cleft lip
and palate surgeries, or surgeries for a congenital heart condition. The
rest will help support children living in foster care.
Holt’s foster care program in Korea holds a special place in our
hearts. Both Jake and Chloe were privileged to live in foster care while
they were in Korea. They received the unconditional love and care that
is vital to a child's healthy development. Words cannot express how
grateful we are to these selfless families who care for these babies as if
they were their own. The love Jake received in foster care helped shape
him into the loving and compassionate boy he is today.
We couldn’t be more proud of Jake, his amazing classmates, and his
extraordinary teacher, Mrs. Pincus, who helped teach such an invalu-
able lesson. She taught her students that altruism and generosity
can make the world a better place, and that wisdom can come from
anyone, at any age.
christine schunke | Scotch Plains, New Jersey
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score one for holtAs part of a service learning project at his school, Holt adoptee Jake Schunke uses his love of hockey to raise funds for orphaned and abandoned children in Korea.
ABOVE LEFT: Jake in his New Jersey Youth Devils hockey uniform, pictured with his sister, Chloe. ABOVE RIGHT: Jack and Chloe with their parents, Brian and Christine.
children who give
Help children with special needs receive the medical
care they need! See item #8 on page 14.
Help children with special needs receive the medical
care they need! See item #8 Giftsof
HOPE
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HURRY!Great gift ideas inside!
cows and donkeys save familiesA cow’s milk, fertilizer, calves and meat can quickly strengthen a family’s
fi nancial stability and help them escape hunger for good. Donkeys help
transport grains, vegetables and other crops to market, easing the burden
on many subsistence-farming families in Ethiopia and Uganda.
suggested Amount: $150
1.
Most populargifts!
little chicks make a huge differenceWithin a few months of birth, chicks become
chickens and begin laying eggs. Eggs provide
protein and other vital nutrients for growing kids,
and extra eggs and chicks can generate income
for a small family business.
suggested Amount: $50
2.
pigs and Goats are like money in the bankWithin months, piglets grow to
weigh a couple hundred pounds
— bringing a big payoff at the
market. Goats are also a smart
investment, as they thrive in
extreme climates and arid
landscapes while fertilizing
the ground with their manure.
Goats also supply families with
nutritious milk every day!
suggested Amount: $100
4.
An egg a dayFor children in our partners' care in In-
dia, eggs are a valuable source of protein
and an essential part of their diet. Your
Gift of Hope can provide ten children
with one egg every day for one month!
suggested Amount: $30 per month for 10 children
3.
vocational training or education In countries around the world, Holt works to strengthen
families by giving them the tools and resources they need to
support their children. In some cases, Holt helps provide job
skills training or other education for parents struggling to
make ends meet — many of them single mothers. In India,
Holt equips many struggling
mothers with induction cookers
or sewing machines they can
use to run small businesses
selling meals and sewn items.
This Christmas, give the gift of
education or vocational training
and start-up resources to an at-
risk family overseas — helping
loving families stay together, and
children grow and thrive.
suggested Amount: $100
6.
medical procedures for childrenGive a gift that lasts a lifetime! Many children relinquished into Holt’s care have
disabilities or special medical needs. When children receive the medical attention they need, not
only are they more likely to thrive, they are also more likely to rejoin their birth families or join adoptive families.
Your gift of a cleft lip and palate repair or surgery for a congenital heart condition can change a child’s life forever.
suggested Amount: $300
8.
protect a child from deadly diseasesMany of the families Holt serves can’t
afford basic healthcare for their children
— care that can safeguard a child
against life-threatening illnesses. Your
gift will provide basic treatments, tests
and immunizations against preventable
childhood diseases.
suggested Amount: $75 per child
7.
foster care for a vulnerable child A more nurturing alternative to institutional care, foster
care provides the loving, personal attention children need to
grow and thrive. Holt strives to place as many orphaned and
abandoned children in foster care as possible while they wait
to rejoin their birth families or join loving adoptive families.
Typically, $85 — less than $3 a day — will cover one
month of care for one child.
suggested Amount:$85 per month per child
5.
sturdy shoes and bootsImagine walking to school
or gathering food and water
in a pair of homemade,
cloth shoes. Without sturdy
shoes, children’s feet are
defenseless against injury
or parasites. We wish you
could hear the squeals of
delight when children open
boxes of brand new shoes
and boots!
suggested Amount: $20 per child
10.
help furnish holt’s childcare centers with beds, cribs, bedding, linens and toysMany of Holt’s programs are always in need of more beds, cribs,
bedding, linens and toys for children. Your Gift of Hope will help us
provide a refuge for children in greatest need.
suggested Amount: $50 per child
11.
Many children enter Holt’s care in nothing but tattered rags, exposing
them to weather and disease. Your Gift of Hope will help provide climate-
appropriate clothing and other personal items for children in need.
suggested Amount: $40 per child
warm clothing for children in care
9.
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education for school-aged Girls in IndiaOver half of all girls in India don’t fi nish primary
school, most because they lack money for fees,
books, uniforms and supplies. Help one girl in
India achieve her goals — support one year of her
education!
suggested Amount: $100 per student/per year
14.
16
$100 per student/per year
education for orphans in chinaThe Nanning Educational Support project provides
food and educational assistance for orphans living
with their grandparents or other extended family in
southern China. Often, extended family can barely
afford to care for extra children in their home, much
less pay for their education. Your Gift of Hope can
help keep children in school, and with their families.
suggested Amount: $50 per student and family/per month
15.
school supplies for At-risk childrenIn many of the impoverished regions Holt serves, edu-
cation is a child’s best hope of escaping a life of poverty
and despair. But many families can’t afford the fees,
textbooks and supplies children need to attend school.
Your Gift of Hope will help a child receive an education,
and a brighter future!
suggested Amount: $25 per child
12.
daycare for vulnerable childrenMany low-income families can't pay
for daycare, which leaves children
at risk of malnutrition, neglect and
isolation. Your Gift of Hope will
provide a preschool-aged child with
the opportunity to attend a safe,
education-based daycare, complete
with nutritious snacks and meals.
With reliable childcare, parents are
able to seek and maintain regular
employment — creating stronger,
healthier families.
13.
suggested Amount: $100 per child
urgently needed Infant diapers, clothing and personal Items for new children in careMost children in Holt’s care own little more than the
potential within them. Your gift will deliver basic
necessities to one new child in care for one month
— necessities like brand new clothing, diapers,
blankets and other personal care items.
suggested Amount: $50 per child
16.
life-saving foodIn recent years, the cost of food worldwide has risen
sharply, putting many impoverished families at
greater risk of malnutrition. Your gift can provide
basic grains, vitamin and mineral-enriched biscuits,
infant formula, powdered milk and other nutritional
supplies, helping families and children in Holt’s
care to weather this growing food crisis.
suggested Amount: $35 per family
17.
shinshicho hospital constructionIn 2009, Holt upgraded a small clinic in Ethiopia, tripling the number of people
who receive treatment every year — most of them children. The clinic, however,
remained ill-equipped to provide more advanced treatment, such as surgery.
To meet the needs of this community, Holt committed to funding the construc-
tion of a full maternal-child hospital. Once complete, the Shinshicho Mother
and Child Health Center will provide acute, quality care for a region of 250,000
people, saving the lives of many who would never otherwise receive treatment.
suggested Amount: $1,500
18.
Popular
giftPopular
gift
support for single mothersIn the Philippines and Thailand, single women who be-
come pregnant often suffer from discrimination. Holt’s
partners help provide women with a safe and support-
ive environment to carry their babies to term. Your
Gift of Hope will provide expectant mothers with food,
shelter, counseling, medical assistance and vocational
training. By supporting new or expectant mothers, you
will help provide a bright and loving future for their
babies.
suggested Amount: $150 per mother and child
21.
help children with special needs in chinaMany orphaned, abandoned and
vulnerable children in China have
correctable or treatable physical
conditions. Children with special
needs often require more involved
care for them to reach their full
potential, including more frequent
physical exams, therapies and
treatments. Your Gift of Hope can
help a child with special needs
receive the specialized care he or
she needs to thrive!
suggested Amount: $150 per child
19.
special needs in chinaMany orphaned, abandoned and
vulnerable children in China have
correctable or treatable physical
conditions. Children with special
needs often require more involved
care for them to reach their full
potential, including more frequent
physical exams, therapies and
treatments. Your Gift of Hope can
help a child with special needs
receive the specialized care he or
20. special needs Adoption fund (snAf)Every Child Deserves a Family: Special
Needs Adoption Fund (SNAF). Hundreds
of children with special medical
conditions, older children and sibling
groups wait for a forever family. Today,
one in fi ve children in our care has a
special need. SNAF grants offset the
cost of adoption, and also help families
pay for any medical care the child may
need. This is often a critical factor in a
family's ability to adopt, meaning your
Gift of Hope will help give children the
loving, permanent families they need.
suggested Amount: $60
Where most needed
where most needed Immediate ImpactHelp where it's needed most!
Your Gift of Hope helps us
immediately address specifi c,
vital needs of children and
families — needs that might
otherwise go unmet.
Any amount makes a difference
22.
suggested Amount: $60
like an extended familyHolt's long-time partner in Thailand helps single mothers succeed for their children.
When you bring your first child home
— whether from the hospital or through
adoption — your whole world changes.
Life before baby quickly becomes a distant
memory. At once, your world is flooded
with a love you never knew was possible,
as well as fears you never knew existed.
Suddenly, you have so many questions
you never had to ask before. Is she get-
ting enough to eat? How will I know if he
needs something? What if I mess it all
up? The newness of it all can prove over-
whelming and exhausting.
Enter grandparents.
Always around to answer questions
or just offer a listening ear, your parents
know just how to help. They’ve been there,
after all.
And when imperfect circumstances
find a new parent raising a child on his or
her own, one can only hope that a helpful
grandparent, or equivalent support sys-
tem, will be there to support the needs of
the frightened parent and fragile baby.
But in countries like Thailand, where a
stigma against unwed mothers endures,
single mothers rarely receive support
from their families. Out of shame and
fear, many choose to relinquish their
babies into institutionalized care.
When *Prim, a university student in
Thailand, became pregnant at the age
of 20, the baby’s father abandoned her.
Terrified, Prim kept her pregnancy hidden
from her family for as long as she could.
When Prim gave birth to little *Bell, Prim’s
mother, *Ning, insisted that she relinquish
Bell to an orphanage to avoid scandal and
disgrace.
At the urging of a relative, Prim instead
looked into the range of services provided
by Holt’s longtime partner in Thailand,
Holt Sahathai Foundation (HSF).
Founded on the belief that every child
deserves to grow up in a permanent, lov-
ing family, HSF is a prominent provider
of child welfare services. Over the years,
HSF services have expanded to include
counseling, financial assistance, vocation-
al training, educational sponsorship and
income-generating projects.
To assist unwed mothers like Prim, HSF
also provides shelter, health and postnatal
care, as well as counseling to help them
cope with discrimination, and ultimately
make an informed decision about whether
to relinquish their child.
Through HSF intervention, Prim made
the decision to keep Bell, and Ning agreed
to assist in raising her grandchild after she
received counseling and training. “Ning
loves Bell very much,” says an HSF social
worker. HSF offered Prim financial help
to finish her education, and while Prim
attends school, Ning looks after her grand-
daughter. Both Ning and Prim also receive
financial management counseling.
Today, precious Bell thrives in her
mother and grandmother’s care. “She is a
lively and healthy girl,” says a social work-
er. Ning received the tools she needed to
assist her daughter in raising her grand-
child, and Prim no longer feels shame
about being a single parent.
To date, about 80 percent of the single
mothers who receive HSF support eventu-
ally decide to keep their baby.
When Prim felt hopeless and alone, HSF
came through for her, acting, in a way, like
a special surrogate family. Now, not only
does Prim have her mother’s support, she
also has the entire HSF community there
to encourage her. Like many new moms
before her, HSF helped Prim cope with
the dramatic, wonderful change that is
parenthood.
Ashli Keyser | Staff Writer
Give hope to single mothers in the Philippines and Thailand this Christmas! See item #21 in our Gifts of Hope catalog
Giftsof
HOPE
*names changed
from the field
TOP: When Prim attends school, her mother lovingly cares for Bell. CENTER: Today, Bell is a lively and healthy toddler. BOTTOM: Prim
deposits funds monthly into a savings account designated for Bell.
In November 2009, we brought our sons home from the
Philippines. At the time, Lucas and Eli were 8 and 9 years old and
had spent five years in an orphanage. Their adoptions were consid-
ered unique in that they are biological siblings and were older at
the time of their adoption. Our family make-up was also somewhat
different for a newly adopting family. At the time we adopted, we
had been married for 30 years and had daughters who were 24, 19
and 16 years old.
Starting into the process of bringing Lucas and Eli home, we
quickly foresaw that we’d need to be on a steep learning curve in
relation to a multitude of issues that we’d never experienced or
heard about.
We learned that the boys did not speak English but spoke a com-
bination of Tagalog, Visayan and Chavacano. We were told that
because of the mix of the three languages, people in the Philippines
had difficulty understanding their unique dialect. Clearly, we had
a communication obstacle to overcome. This was partly met when
the boys were transferred from their orphanage on the island of
Mindanao to foster care in Manila, where they stayed while waiting
to join our family. The boys spent four months in Manila, where
they attended a school that utilized both Tagalog and English.
While they began learning basic
English, we learned some basic
words and phrases in Tagalog.
Once we arrived in Manila and
for three months after arriving
home, we used a combination
of English, Tagalog and sign
language to communicate.
We mistakenly assumed
that Lucas and Eli would
retain their native language
because they would be able
to speak with one another.
This was not their experi-
ence. Within six weeks of
arriving home, they were
communicating primarily
in English and sign lan-
guage. When consulting
a professional in English
Language Learning, we
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from the familythe language of
While they began learning basic
English, we learned some basic
words and phrases in Tagalog.
Once we arrived in Manila and
for three months after arriving
home, we used a combination
of English, Tagalog and sign
retain their native language
loveOlder brothers Lucas and Eli faced many challenges coming home — from learning a new language, to blending with their new siblings, to fi nding their individual places within their new family. But no matter the diffi culties, they soon discover that in this family, they will forever belong.
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found out that this was normal. Inundated with a new language,
the boys were building pathways within their brains to accom-
modate English — leaving their native languages unused and,
eventually, lost. Listening to them speak while playing gave us
great insight into how they were making accommodations to their
new environment. They would play in English, and when they
weren’t able to come up with the correct word, they would ask the
other for the word using Tagalog. Eventually, the Tagalog phased
out completely. There was a period of time we called “the silent
period,” in which they no longer used Tagalog, but had not yet
developed enough English to fill the gap. This period lasted about
two weeks.
While working to communicate with Lucas and Eli, we also
faced the challenge of blending our family into a new definition.
Our three daughters had three varying concerns. Alison, then 24,
was concerned about the new dynamics within our family. While
my husband and I read adoption books and attended seminars,
we couldn’t locate available information to aid the siblings on the
home front.* Now at age 27, Alison is her brothers’ biggest support-
er, but will also attest to the need for more up-front information on
adoption dynamics for the sibling group, both new and established.
Added stress, financial strain and potential behaviors that could
impact the family were but a few of her areas of concern.
Rachel was then 19 and an out-of-state college freshman whose
top concern was how she would establish a sibling relationship
with Lucas and Eli while not living close to home. She put in a lot
of extra time driving home on long weekends, as well as calling and
using Skype to help all three of them connect. Currently, Rachel is
student teaching and living at home. She now gets to experience
her rambunctious teenage brothers on a daily basis.
Sydney, then 16, was our daughter most directly affected by the
arrival of two new brothers. She traveled to Manila when we went
to bring the boys home and is the only sister to have a glimpse of
their birth country and culture. Living through the daily struggles
with them has afforded her a deeper understanding of her brothers.
She observed their struggles with homework, their frustrations
with English, and the physical exhaustion that came with being
absorbed into a previously unknown environment and family.
During the first year after arriving home, Lucas and Eli would often
approach Sydney for answers to many issues, giving her further
insight into their concerns. They would often take their social cues
from Sydney. Even at the age of 20 and in college, Sydney is fre-
quently checked on and consulted by her brothers.
We knew going into the adoption that Lucas and Eli were a solid
unit and very dependent on one another for their daily needs. Lucas
was a people pleaser who would ingratiate himself with adults to
receive favorable treatment. Eli was not. He was described as inde-
pendent, uncooperative and difficult. How this would play a part in
building relationships would not come to be known until we were
home for several months.
After the initial honeymoon period, it became apparent that for
each boy to understand his need to become an individual, it would
take a concerted effort on our part to separate them with activi-
ties. This has allowed them to develop appropriate social skills
and find their individual places in our family, without resorting
to institutional coping methods or relying solely on one another
for their needs. Separate classrooms, sports teams and circles of
friends have helped the boys develop their individual identities.
Ultimately, they discovered that they did not have to enjoy the
same things and have begun exploring their own interests inde-
pendent of one another. In the process, Lucas discovered that we
were his family even when he wasn’t working overtime to be com-
pliant. Eli learned not to shut down and turn away when he would
misstep and have consequences. He, too, had to learn his family
would be there even when things weren’t always pleasant.
There have been many challenges and triumphs these past four
years. Lucas and Eli attend public school and have loved the inter-
action with peers from the first day they walked through the doors,
two weeks after coming home. Interacting with peers and partici-
pating in sports has helped them progress in learning language and
social skills at a much faster rate than we had initially anticipated.
Our entire family has grown in ways that we would never have
imagined. I asked Alison for her input for this article. “Mom,” she
said, “Honestly, I can’t imagine our lives without the boys.”
When you ask Lucas what adoption means to him, he maintains
the same response he had the first time we raised the subject. “It
means I have a family and they have me,” he says “I belong forever.”
Eli grins and responds, “It means you get to be my parents. You’re
lucky!” Did I mention he’s quite the comedian?
mike and lori pickle | Logan, Iowa
LEFT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM: Lucas and Eli while still in care, at ages 7 and 6. From left: Eli, 10, and Lucas, 11, in fall 2010 — a year after coming home. Lucas and Eli with their older sisters. From left: Sydney, 20, Alison, 27, and Rachel, 22. Bottom from left: Lucas, 13, Eli, 12. RIGHT: Participating in sports has helped the boys learn English and develop stronger social skills. From left: Lucas, 13, and Eli, 12.
*Introducing an adopted sibling into your family? Help prep your kids at home by viewing Holt's webinar series Sisters and Brothers in Adoption.
Go to: www.holtinternational.org/webinars/
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meeting
adoptees todayadoptees todayadoptees todayadoptees today
Before traveling on Holt’s heritage tour of Korea, adoptee Natalie Anderson initiated a search for her birth family. Five months later, she reunites with a family who has long awaited meeting her.
THIS STORY IS ABOUT A MEETING that I never planned, but
one that my birth family had been waiting for a long time.
Some assume that meeting your birth family is about get-
ting closure. For me, it was an opening not only to my past, but also
to a different and happier future.
In the summer of 1988, I took my first transcontinental flight to
meet the family that would lovingly name me “Natalie.” Growing
up, my parents were very open about my adoption and told me
everything that they knew. I didn’t feel an overwhelming need to
know my birth family or the circumstances of my adoption. The
reason for this, I have found to be two-fold. First, I was completely
satisfied, thankful and blessed to live in the family I was placed
with. The second reason I didn’t discover until my twenties, when
I realized I was avoiding potential pain that could come along with
asking questions about my birth family.
In high school, my mom began asking me if I wanted to go on a
Holt heritage tour of Korea. I kept coming up with excuses of why
we should wait until the next year. But after finishing graduate
school, I had no more excuses. I was at a point in my life where I
no longer wanted to avoid, and felt ready to find out more about
where I came from. So we planned to go on Holt’s 2012 heritage
tour. Little did I know that making this decision — especially at
that particular time — would forever change my life.
While filling out the birth family search paperwork, I can dis-
tinctly remember thinking that nothing would come of placing my
name on the adoptee registry. Then, six weeks prior to the tour, I
mybirthfamily
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received an email. Holt Korea had been in contact with my birth
mother and father, and I had a sister who lived in the States. They
all wanted to meet me. Wait… What?! My husband had to brace
me as I cried tears full of alien emotions. Questions that had never
come up reeled through my head, especially about my sister. Was
she a full sister? Was she older or younger? Was she adopted too
and that’s why she lived in the States? I had an intuition that she
was a full sister, and I was so anxious to meet her. All I could do
during the wait was try to process how I felt and pray that the
meeting would go well, bringing everyone peace and joy.
The day before the meeting, I visited the Holt Korea office to
look at my file. They gave me a folder with letters from my birth
mother, father and sister, each with pictures of their families.
Overwhelmed with emotion, I took them to my room and carefully
read through each letter and looked at the pictures. I saw my sister
for the first time and noticed that we looked so much alike. She
was an older full sister, just like I had thought. We had spent the
first two years of my life together. My sister had spent her child-
hood with our birth father, and high school and college years in
Japan with our birth mother. For the first time, I saw someone who
looked just like me. Also, I saw resemblances in my birth parents
and half-siblings. It was so emotional and miraculous that I would
actually meet these people.
The next morning, I was so nervous that I was pacing the hotel
before it was time to go to the meeting place. When I arrived, they
were all waiting in one room. I walked in by myself. Immediately,
they all gathered around me, crying and hugging me. It felt weirdly
like a reunion — like we had all been together at one time and now,
24 years later, we were together again. After the initial and very
emotional introduction, we sat down and my sister, who speaks
English, translated for us. So many things to say and ask. My par-
ents then came in and met everyone, and my birth mother and
father could not stop thanking them for taking care of me and
loving me. The next day, I got to meet my three half-brothers
and we all spent time getting to know each other.
It turned out that my sister and her family lived in San
Francisco, only six hours away from us in Los Angeles!
After making plans to go visit her and meet her children
and her husband, I discovered that my birth mother
already had plans to visit them in the U.S. for a
month. This gave me more time to get to know my
sister and birth mother, and to ask a lot of ques-
tions that I still had.
It was wonderful to meet my birth family and learn about the cir-
cumstances of my adoption, but this also opened a lot of other feel-
ings that I am still processing. No matter what, I know that God’s
hand was in all of this. There were too many ways that the trip and
timing worked out perfectly. It was my sister who re-established
my family’s contact information in the Korean adoption registry.
Just two months before I decided to go on the trip and search for
them, my sister also wrote a letter to me — a letter I could only
read if I decided to open my file in Korea. She was in the U.S. and
had recently moved to California just a few years after I had moved
there. Now, I see "Unni" — Korean for “older sister” — about once
every couple months. It feels like we have always been sisters. She
calls me “JiEun,” my Korean name, because that is what she has
always known me as and it feels right. I also keep in contact with
my birth mother and father through video chat.
I was concerned about my parents and brother and how they
felt about me meeting my birth family. However, I am now more
confident than ever that the people that love you and raise you
are indeed your true family. I expressed this to them when I came
home, and I feel like this experience has brought us closer together.
I am so thankful to Holt International and Holt Korea for helping to
make this meeting possible. Every adoptee has a unique story and I
am so blessed to have been a part of the amazing story that Harry
and Bertha Holt began over 60 years ago.
by natalie Anderson | Rogers, Arkansas
"My husband had to brace me as I cried tears full of alien emotions. Questions that had never come up reeled through my head, especially about my sister. Was she a full sister? Was she older or younger? Was she adopted too and that’s why she lived in the States?"
LEFT: Natalie with her birth mother and sister in San Francisco. FAR LEFT: Natalie with her birth family in Seoul, Korea. From left: Natalie’s birth
father, birth sister, birth mom with her son, and Natalie.
BELOW FROM LEFT: Natalie on the Holt heritage tour with her parents, Paul and Luann • Natalie and her family at her brother’s wedding last
December • Natalie with her birth sister in San Francisco
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Today I ran across a photo of my daughter, Anandi, taken before
she was my daughter. Dark curls framed her chocolate complexion
and sparkling eyes. Instantly, I felt transported back to the time
when we were preparing to welcome a new child into our family — a
three-year-old foundling from half a world away.
It’s commonplace to hear adoptive families say it was “love at first
sight” when they first saw a photo of the child they would adopt.
That wasn’t the case for me. I thought this tiny girl from southern
India was cute, to be sure, as did my husband. But a cute stranger,
one whom I definitely didn’t feel “in love” with. As with an arranged
marriage, love would have the opportunity to grow with the relation-
ship. But it wasn’t guaranteed…for her or for us.
The first time I met Anandi — whose name means “bringer of
joy” in Hindi — she was astride a white plastic horse that she had
wheeled to the doorway of the therapy room at Vathsalya Charitable
Trust (VCT), a care center in Bangalore and one of Holt’s legacy
partners in India. She was tinier than I had envisioned; 25 pounds
and not yet three feet tall at age three and a half, she seemed more
toddler than preschooler. She soon showed herself to be a charming
extravert, first posing for the camera, then commandeering it.
With Anandi were three of the women who had cared for and
loved her for the past two-and-a-half years. Her foster mother, sister
and aunt sat on the floor alongside me and my own foster mother, a
remarkable woman who had brought me into her home as a 16-year-
old and taught me a thing or two about loving the stranger in your
midst. Thirty-three years later, she was my guide and companion on
this adoption journey. It felt like coming full circle to be welcoming
an unknown child into my family, much as she had done for me so
many years before.
During the next ten days together in Bangalore and Delhi, Anandi
accepted both me and my foster mother, seemingly without qualms.
Except for nightly sleep disturbances that suggested separation trau-
ma, she seemed to take it completely for granted that she suddenly
had a new mother and grandmother. While it made for a shockingly
smooth transition, I felt uneasy at her equanimity. If losing the only
family she’s ever known doesn’t seem unsettling to her, how will
OUR family ever matter to her? Of all the things I worried and prayed
about during our adoption, experiencing overt rejection from our
adopted child topped my list. With her instant acceptance, it seemed
that God answered my prayers with utmost clarity. It never occurred
to me that I would adopt a child who accepted me too readily!
Anandi’s easy transition seemed, at times, too good to be true —
especially when she exhibited wildly enthusiastic affection for the
man in line behind me at the bank, and every other person at the
grocery store. She climbed into strangers’ laps at Starbucks, and
gestured to be picked up by every parent at dance class. I began to
feel like an “auntie,” as they referred to caretakers at VCT. Perhaps a
favorite auntie, but nevertheless interchangeable with the numerous
other “aunties” — and “uncles” — she encountered.
bringer of Joy
post adoption
While the Marran family teaches their daughter Anandi about appropriate boundaries, she teaches them about unbridled joy.
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ABOVE FROM LEFT: Anandi with her father, David, mother, Maire, and sister, Aubrey • Anandi in her favorite pink cowboy boots • A recent photo of Anandi playing in a fountain in downtown Lewiston •
Maire first meeting Anandi in India • Anandi with her sister, Aubrey
“Indiscriminate affection” is the term used to describe the behav-
ior of children who lovingly interact with others with no regard
to the level of relationship. It’s a survival mechanism that results
from not having developed a permanent attachment to a caregiver.
I knew that it was common in adopted children. I just didn’t know
what it was going to feel like to parent a child who exhibited it so
frequently. To quell my discomfort when she’d greet strangers a little
too eagerly, I’d gently pull her away and joke that she’s practicing to
be an ambassador when she grows up. I certainly wasn’t going to
complain about having the world’s friendliest child!
Child psychologists will often describe indiscriminate affection
as an attempt by the child to manipulate or control the emotional
responses of the adults around them. I dislike the negative conno-
tation of that terminology, however, as the child is most likely not
conscious of his or her behavior. According to The St. Petersburg-USA
Orphanage Research Team, a collaboration between the University
of Pittsburgh and St. Petersburg State University in Russia, “The early
experiences children have in orphanages often produce deficits in
executive functioning skills (things like planning, organization,
decision-making, inhibiting responses, etc). It's quite possible that
this superficial social ‘charm’ that children show is actually showing
their inability to inhibit social responses around strangers.”
This rang true: Anandi could seemingly not stop herself from
flinging herself into strangers’ arms!
Anandi has a language impairment that makes it difficult to
explain to her that giving hugs and climbing into laps are only for
family and friends. To teach appropriate boundaries, I have primar-
ily relied on physical intervention and redirection. However, when
she recently startled the pet store employee who was netting a
guppy from the tank for us by suddenly thrusting her hand deep into
his front pocket, I knew it was still very much a work in progress.
While Anandi still frequently goes right up to strangers, I am
relieved that she seems to be developing a real attachment to us as
her mama and papa. I feel a thrill course through me on the rare
occasions when she clings to my leg and peeks out at someone she’s
just met. And I was actually happy when, after a rare date night
out, our babysitter reported that she cried for Mama and Papa at
bedtime.
Since our arrival home on Thanksgiving Day two years ago,
Anandi has taught me that it’s the simple moments — or rather,
opportunities — that I need to be mindful of. While I teach her about
appropriate boundaries, she teaches me about unbridled joy and
enthusiasm. I make a conscious effort to do little things that nour-
ish the concept that she is my daughter and I am her mama: feeding
her by hand, playing “baby” and other reciprocal connecting games,
saying “Hold Mama’s hand” instead of just “Hold my hand.” And
although I can’t guarantee that our family will ever matter to her
in the way I hope it will, I can make an effort to make this moment
matter to her — and to me.
by maire marran | Lewiston, Idaho
“Anandi’s easy transition seemed, at times, too good to be true —
especially when she exhibited wildly enthusiastic affection for the
man in line behind me at the bank, and every other person at the
grocery store.”
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C h a n g e S e r v i c e R e q u e s t e d
P o s t O f f i c e B o x 2 8 8 0E u g e n e , O R 9 7 4 0 2
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california
July 27-31, 2014, Camp Rockin U —Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16
years old
Georgia
July 20-24, 2014, Calvin Center—Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16
years old
nebraska
March 29, 2014, Omaha—Gala Dinner & Auction, Embassy Suites,
La Vista, 5:30 p.m.
new Jersey
August 3-8, 2014, Camp Louemma —Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16
years old
oregon
April 12, 2014, Eugene —Gala Dinner & Auction, Valley River Inn, 5:30 p.m.
July 13-17, 2014, Camp Angelos — Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16
years old
wisconsin
July 6-10, 2014, Camp Lakotah —Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16
years old
Get the Info
For Holt Adoptee Camp and Family Picnic information, contact:
Pame Chow at [email protected]
For Events information, contact:
Shonna Wells at [email protected]
For Holt Heritage and Adult Adoptee Tour information, contact:
Sara Higgins for China tours:
Paul Kim for Korea tours:
Meghan Nelson for adult adoptee tours:
For Vision Trip information, contact:
Sally Dougherty at [email protected]
neighborhood
calendar
updatesP o s t O f f i c e B o x 2 8 8 0
updatesP o s t O f f i c e B o x 2 8 8 0
updatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdatesupdates2013 holt GraduatesIn the Sept/Oct 2013 issue of Holt International Magazine, we celebrated Holt adoptees who recently graduated from high school or college. We have three more updates to share with you.
Brenda Osler of Rochester, Minnesota recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in management, with an empha-sis in human resources, from St. Cloud State University. During her time at St. Cloud State, she was involved in Delta Zeta and University Program Board. She plans to pursue a career in human resource recruiting. Brenda was adopted from Guatemala.
Earlier this year, Jacob Vedral graduated from high school in Egg Harbor City, New Jersey. In high school, Jacob participated in varsity baseball, achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at the age of 15, and graduated as a member of the National Honor Society. He plans to study business management at Rutgers University and would one day like to open a small business. Jacob was adopted from South Korea.
Michael Evanowski of Beachwood, New Jersey recently graduated from high school and plans to study math at Rutgers University. In high school, Michael was involved with marching band, concert band, jazz band, track, cross-country and Tri-M Music Honor Society. He was awarded the Louis Armstrong Jazz Award, TREA scholarship, and the Toms River High School South Indian Bandwagon scholarship. Michael was adopted from South Korea.
philippines Ambassador tripTwo years ago, Holt led our first ambassador trip to the Philippines to advo-cate for older children living in orphanage care. During a week full of fun activities, eight Holt ambassadors got to know 11 older children — their likes and dislikes, their challenges and strengths, and what makes them special. Once home, the ambassadors began advocating for the children’s adoptions.
This program has proven so successful in helping older children find families that over the past two years, Holt has led two more ambassador trips to the Philippines! The most recent group of ambassadors returned just last month, ready to find families for the boys and girls they met. To learn more about the program and this year’s special group of children, contact Jessica Palmer at [email protected] or visit us online at www.holtinternational.org/philippines.
national Adoption monthWe at Holt love the month of November, when families, organizations and public figures rally together to support a cause dear to our hearts — finding families for orphaned and abandoned children. This National Adoption Month, help raise awareness about children who need families! Share stories of waiting children you read about on the Holt blog. Donate to the Special Needs Adoption Fund, featured on page 18. Encourage others to consider adoption by sharing your own story, or if you’re considering adoption — what a wonderful month to begin your journey!
Michael Evanowski of Beachwood, New Jersey recently graduated from high school and plans to study math at Rutgers University. In high school, Michael was involved with marching band, concert band, jazz band, track, cross-country and Tri-M Music Honor Society. He was awarded the Louis Armstrong Jazz Award, TREA scholarship, and the Toms River High School South Indian Bandwagon the Toms River High School South Indian Bandwagon scholarship. Michael was adopted from South Korea.
Earlier this year, Jacob Vedral graduated from high school in Egg Harbor City, New Jersey. In high school, Jacob participated in varsity baseball, achieved the rank of Eagle Scout at the age of 15, and graduated as a member of the National Honor Society. He plans to study business management at Rutgers University and would one day like to open a small business. Jacob was adopted from South Korea.
more updates to share with you.
Brenda Osler of Rochester, Minnesota recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in management, with an empha-sis in human resources, from St. Cloud State University. During her time at St. Cloud State, she was involved in Delta Zeta and University Program Board. She plans to pursue a career in human resource recruiting. Brenda was adopted from Guatemala.
ShaunBorn: 04.07.2007, China
Gregarious and clever, Shaun entered foster care as a newborn. Developmentally, he is on track. Shaun enjoys bike riding and skateboarding. He helps his foster mother with household chores and enjoys bedtime stories. He likes to sing children’s songs and tell stories. Shaun is affectionate to his fos-ter mother and is well liked by his teacher and kindergarten classmates. Shaun needs a family prepared for an older child adop-tion, with access to the resources he may need as he continues to grow and thrive.
ScottBorn: 08.05.2000, S.E. Asia
Scott is described as very smart, kind, generous, observant and creative. He entered a child care center in 2002, and then a foster home in 2003. Scott is in good health and his development is on target. He enjoys running, climbing, playing soc-cer, riding his bicycle and drawing cartoon characters. Scott is doing well in the sev-enth grade. He reads well, writes short sto-ries and knows some English words. Scott enjoys playing folk music with his school band and would love to be an animator or music composer one day. He also gets along well with friends. He has received counsel-ing on intercountry adoption and he says he would love to have a family adopt him. He needs a family who understands the behav-ioral impact of grief and loss. Experience parenting past his age and with adoption is also preferred. *scott has an $8,000 special blessings grant from holt for this adoption and holt fees have also been reduced.
AndersonBorn: 10.23.2008, Africa Anderson is a handsome little boy who likes to play outdoor games and sports. Although Anderson tested positive for Hepatitis B, he is in otherwise good physi-cal and mental health. Anderson is a very happy, healthy and active boy. He is highly sociable. He has a good sense of humor and strong imagination. He has a good relation-ship with his caretakers and shows concern for small children. Anderson is in need of a family who understands the impact of grief and loss on development, emotional regula-tion, transition and academic learning. An ideal family will have access to any medical care he may need and should also have a plan on how to communicate effectively with Anderson during the transition.
holtinternational.org/blog/2013/09/a-typical-5-year-old-in-every-way-but-one-anderson-needs-a-family/
Andy Born: 02.28.2012, N.E. Asia
Andy is a sweet little boy who was born premature at 36 weeks. He has been receiv-ing physical therapy to help him overcome some developmental delays. He is able to pull himself to a stand and walk holding onto furniture. He is also able to say six words, wave bye-bye, drink from a cup and scribble with a crayon. His foster parents report that he is a very popular child, and all of the neighbors enjoy spending time with him and holding him. He has met with an endocrinologist, and has had a few tests to try and determine the cause of his short stature and poor weight gain. Andy is in need of a family who is open to some unknowns and can provide him with any medical care or therapies that he may need.
waiting childrenthese and other children need
adoptive families
Andy
Anderson
then a foster home in 2003. Scott is in good health and his development is on target. He enjoys running, climbing, playing soc-cer, riding his bicycle and drawing cartoon characters. Scott is doing well in the sev-enth grade. He reads well, writes short sto-ries and knows some English words. Scott enjoys playing folk music with his school
Scott
Shaun
For more information on adopting these and other waiting children, contact Erin Anderson at [email protected] w w.holtinternational.org/waiting-child/photolisting
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For more information: holtinternational.org/korea
888-355-HOLT
adopt from
• Mostly boys, ages 18-24 months at
placement who have some minor,
correctable health issues
• All children live in foster or family-like
care
KoreaMany children in Korea
holt urgently needs families for…
are waiting, right now,
for a LOVING family.