NOVEMBER 2019 1

the grim reality that infants stinkup the apartment or house, theycause parents to lose sleep andbecome grumpy, and then aschildren “mature” they havetemper tantrums, scream and rebel. We loved our daughter and ourson before they were born, but likeall parents, we were not preparedfor the long hours and low payinvolved in being a loving parent.Later, as exasperated parents ofteens often say, there are those dogdays of parenting when parentsbecome so fed up with theirteenagers they want to send themback. It’s a good thing, in a way, thatparents wanting to have childrenare blinded to the realities they willface, because if young marriedcouples had any idea about howmuch kids would smell and rebel,the human race would have endedlong ago.

Marriage requires commitmentand it is a long slog—today itseems when someone wants ananswer, solution or successfuloutcome, all one needs to do is“Google” it. I know far less nowthan I once thought I did, but Ican tell you 50 years into theadventure of marriage, I do knowthat one doesn’t Google asuccessful marriage—nor do theyask Siri or Alexa to produce oneout of thin air.

Marriage is one of the hardestthings that anyone can everundertake—but it is a worthy, noble

and indeed divine endeavor. Wedding vows promise to love,cherish, honor and be faithfulthrough sickness and health,through riches and poverty …toalways “be there” and support eachother. These vows are virtuousgoals and laudable, but they arepromises no human can perfectlykeep. A more realistic vow wouldbe something like, “in spite of mybest intentions, I will screw up andfail on a regular basis and everyonce in a while, on a good day, Iwill admit it and ask yourforgiveness. But don’t hold yourbreath expecting me to always say‘sorry’ when I should.”Many young people get marriedthinking that married life will beone eternal, unending, honeymoonof fun and frolicking…one longuninterrupted blissful time offloating in a swimming pool filledwith wine and roses. Many starry-

PLAIN TRUTH ®

w w w . p t m . o r g

Continued on page 3

insideRomans: Whose

Righteousness? p2

Gratitude; One Key to Recovery p6

In Control p7

Quotes & Connections p8

NOVEMBER 2019

Volume 84, Number 6

aren and I entered thegrand adventure ofmarriage in 1969. We wereyoung and in love. Giventhe demands of long hours

in ministry and the reality of lowpay, we knew we would never make alot of money. At that time, wethought it was going to be hard,perhaps impossible, for us to everpurchase a house. Later we were ableto scrimp and save and eventuallybuy a house, but “making a home”proved to be a far more challengingtask.We could not wait to start ourfamily—and we didn’t! As weawaited the arrival of our firstchild, I lived in a Never-Neverland,with dreams and expectations of alittle child emerging from Karen’swomb, smiling and cooing, “I loveyou Mommy and Daddy.” As Karenand I anticipated our first littlebundle of joy, I did not dwell on

CHR I S T I AN I T Y W I THOUT THE R E L IG ION ®

K

Greg Albrecht

Love andMarriage:

50 Years ofLessons

2 PLAIN TRUTH

But now apart from the law therighteousness of God has been made

known, to which the Law and the

Prophets testify. This righteousness is

given through faith in Jesus Christ to

all who believe.—Romans 3:21-22

Gods’ grace confers therighteousness of God to us,through faith in Jesus.

Conversely, the righteousness ofreligion must be earned by obedienceto law. God’s grace is amazing—itdoesn’t play by religious rules.• We humans would rather earnwhat we believe we deserve fromGod. We would rather gainrighteousness, like the commercialsays, “the old fashioned way.”Righteousness “the old fashionedway” in the old covenant (beforethe new covenant in Christ) was“credited” (Romans 4:3) by faith.But righteousness “the old fashionedway” was transactional according tolaw, by/under/through the law, notby faith in Jesus Christ.• The righteousness of God, by

grace through faith, is not ofourselves, but of God. A gazillionlifetimes of human effort cannotacquire the righteousness of God.The righteousness of God is apartfrom any law, not derived from law,but freely given by God’s grace. • God’s grace goes head-to-headwith our human, religious and legalsense of justice and fair play. Whenmost people talk about the justice ofGod they are actually talking abouttheir desire to see other people “getwhat they have coming to them.” • Even when people are inclinedto accept and embrace God’s gracefor themselves, they find his samegrace applied to other people to besoft-hearted and even permissive.

One of the huge problems wehave with God’s grace is that itconfounds our every expectation ofwho and what God “should” be—which is an incredible statement onits own, isn’t it? So, God should consult us to see

how he should behave and act

and react?? God’s grace proclaims that ALL ourattempts to achieve righteousnessare, as Isaiah proclaims in Isaiah64:6, “…like filthy rags.” TheHebrew word for “filthy rags” isprobably the same word used for amenstrual cloth. How useful to Godor anyone is a “filthy rag”?Some respond, “Wait just a minuteGod! Are you saying after all I havedone for you, after all my efforts, mysacrifices and hard work to earn yourlove and approval, they amount to amenstrual cloth?! But I don’t displaymenstrual cloths in my trophy casewhere I keep certificates about all myreligious accomplishments. What areyou saying God?” God answers, “Yes, my child! Ithink you are beginning to get thepicture. That picture doesn’t fit, doesit? I have a better deal for you.” Along with its twin, the book ofGalatians, the book of Romans isthe bedrock of the gospel, forChrist followers the core of theirconvictions and the foundation ofGod’s amazing grace.Romans, more than any otherbook of the Bible, is a logical, carefuldeconstruction of human religionand a step by step construction ofthe righteousness of God bestowedas a gift, upon those who believe. The book of Romans lays siege tohuman notions that our task in lifeis to please and appease God via ourrighteous deeds. God is already in

love with us—the righteousness ofour Lord Jesus Christ has been givento us, by the grace of God, if we wishto embrace and accept it. Christless religion is a lie becauseits primary faith is based on thesteps that must be taken, tests thatmust be passed, regulations thatmust be adhered to, and rituals andceremonies that must be performedto make God happy and keep himhappy. Christless righteousness is a cheapcounterfeit, an addiction that leadsto slavery and misery. Romans demolishes Christlessreligion and all of its deceptive ideas—it takes Christ less religion andburies it as Paul carefully places andhammers in one nail after anotherinto the coffin of Christless religion.Paul’s case for grace is air tight. Romans is the case againstreligion. It is written much like alegal brief, as an attack on thestronghold of religion and all of itslies, misrepresentations, deceptions,prevarications, snipe hunts and wildgoose chases which enslaves all whofollow its teachings and practices. This case against religion in thebook of Romans is the precedentand summation that we humansneed not live under condemnation,for we are set free. Christless religion is bad news—the gospel of Jesus Christ isincredibly, almost too-good-to-be-true news. Romans 8:1 says, THOSEWHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS ARENOT CONDEMNED. q

Join us for “Romans: Whose

Righteousness?”at the audio teaching

ministry of Christianity Without theReligion, the week of November 10,

2019.

Romans: Whose Righteousness?

eyed young people seem to feelthey will have a happy marriage ifthey just find the right person, butthey are ill-equipped and woefullyunprepared to consider a happymarriage involves being the rightperson. Ideally, the wedding day officiallylaunches the first stage of marriage—a stage that is overwhelmed byidealized notions of romantic love,sex, attraction, sex, infatuation,sex, desire…and…did I mentionsex? Young married couples oftenthink they know all about love butreally, they have no idea. They areinfatuated. They are often in lovewith the idea of being in love. Theyare in love with who they wanttheir spouse to be/become.Though the lyrics of an old songimplore a loved one to “make theworld go away,” marriage doesn’tdissolve or shrink the world—ifanything marriage makes the worldmore complex and challenging.Newly married couples soondiscover that marriage is far morethan a solitary relationship withanother person and that marriagedoes not make “the world goaway.” Marriage isn’t just about twopeople. Marriage is like the pebblethrown into the still waters of apond, causing concentric circles toradiate from the core, until theentire pond is impacted. Marriageaffects and impacts lots of people.Marriage is all about others who aresupporting the couple and livingaround this new marriage—parents, children, friends andcommunity. In marriage, one doesn’t merelymarry another person—one gets a“package deal” which is often a“deal” far more than one hadbargained for. Not long after the newlyweds

say “I do,” one day they wake up

and find themselves on stage,

living out a part in a drama they

never auditioned for, reading a

script it seems someone else wrote.

Report CardsWe are introduced to formal reportcards when we start school and weco-exist with those reports formany years of schooling. When wefinish school and start work, wediscover performance evaluationsand annual reviews given to us byour employers. Life is filled withgrades and reports and reviews.When we get married, we soonrealize that spouses are free to giveperformance reviews wheneverthey feel such critiques are needed! When couples marry, they mayhave graduated from college orgraduate school, but they soonrealize marriage means theireducation is just beginning. Many ayoung man marries a woman andhopes she will never change, whilea young woman marries a manarmed with a detailed architecturalblueprint about how she willchange, fix and repair him. Bothwind up disappointed. The arrival of children means ahusband and wife start learninghow to be parents. For thosemarried couples who are able andwish to share their lives withchildren, little do they know whenthey first bring children into theworld, those children will soon bestarting to compile a parentingreport card they will later presentto their parents. After they have poured theirheart, energy and treasure intotheir children, when their children

become adults, husbands and wivesenter the stage of marriage whenthey learn how to be parents ofadult children. All parentseventually have to learn how to“let go” of their children. Parentingis not defined as owning children—it’s really more about leasing orrenting them and preparing themto face the world on its own terms. Couples enter another stage ofmarriage if and when adultchildren marry. Then fathers andmothers learn how to be a mother-in-law and a father-in-law. This isanother chapter in the book of loveand marriage filled with drama andexpectations and pitfalls andshortcomings. As parents wereceive a grade for this stage aswell. Over 50 years later, I look back.What kind of a grade on my reportcard do I give myself? There weremany failures…many times inwhich I was far less than what Ihad hoped to be and give. Is thereany advice I have learned…or anywisdom I can pass on to others? Iam thankful that as I grew upspiritually, by the grace of God,Jesus enabled me to be more of thekind of husband and father I reallywanted to be in the beginning.

I never did win father or husband of

the year. I have apologized to bothof our children on a number ofoccasions, but I have also cautionedthem that as clearly as they can seemy own faults, they are well served

Continued from page 1

NOVEMBER 2019 3

and condemn. Rather, it soberlyrealizes that one will be judged bystandards one uses to repudiate andcriticize. • Marriage and family grows andmatures on the battlefields ofselfishness, ego, lust and pride. Marriage and family do notmagically happen as the pixie dustof love sprinkles down on twopeople who blissfully stroll throughcarefully manicured and groomedrose gardens. Marriage does involveroses, but as it has often beenobserved, the beauty of a rose isfirmly attached to a stem thatfeatures many thorns.

Over 50 years I have learned manythings about arguments anddisagreements in marriage. I havelearned that huffing and puffing canblow the house of marriage down.

On the other hand, serving andsacrificing and swallowing one’spride will build the house ofmarriage. Marriages becomebeautiful when they are no longerbest described as a duel, but as aduet with both partners striving tosing in harmony.

Marriage teaches how to love, give,support and sacrifice. Marriageteaches us how to serve and respectour beloved. In the words of Paulmarriage is about submitting one toanother.

Marriage reveals selfishness andstubbornness and dishonesty. Whena couple is first married, theycelebrate their physical love—theyshare their bodies and become one

PLAIN TRUTH

to be aware that their own children(our grandchildren) have razorsharp vision about their ownparents’ deficits and shortcomings,and they may not be inclined tograde “on the curve.” As I look back on my role in 50years of marriage, I realize thatthere are many wounds and hurtsKaren and I endured. I have regrets,as indeed most couples who arestill married will admit. In the caseof the wounds I suffered duringthese 50 years, I also know thatmany, if not most of them, wereself-inflicted.

I do not consider the fact we have

enjoyed and endured 50 years of

marriage to be a victory I achieved—it

is a celebration of the grace I

have been given. I am thankfulthat Karen, Cherie and Scott stuckwith me, and that we all survived.

Fighting and “Being Right”

All marriages involve fights,squabbles and disagreements. In ahealthy marriage the partners donot do not keep a record of howmany fights one wins and howmany one loses and how many endin a tie. From the perspective of mygender, many a young husbandfeels he has won an argument—little does he know it is not over.Nobody wins arguments and fightswithin marriage. Studies demonstrate the obvious—newly married couples whoinsult each other infrequently have

a far greater chance ofremaining married. Onthe other hand,couples who persist inflinging negative, nastycomments at eachother are headed forthe rocks, unless one orboth mature and coolerheads prevail. • In a healthymarriage forgiveness islavished on thebeloved by the lover. • Marriage is toointimate and sacred tobe all about alwaysbeing right. • Marriage grows and is sustainedwhen love, mercy and gracetriumph over judgment. • Marriage is more aboutwanting to love and receive lovethan needing to be right. • Marital love is active anddynamic. In the words of an oldsong, “the love you take is equal tothe love you make.” • Marital love does not keepaccurate books, balancing good andbad deeds, carefully measuringassets and liabilities of one’sspouse. Love lavishes grace,overlooking the desire for revenge.• Love that enables a marriage tosurvive and thrive will not alwaysseek to balance the scales or tiltthem in one’s favor. • In a healthy and growingmarriage, love is not quick to judge

flesh. But sharing one’s body doesnot expose and uncover the souland spirit that lives in that body,either to oneself and certainly not toone’s beloved spouse.

Marriage humbles us because it laysbare who we really are—sadly, manypeople who get married refuse to everadmit who they really are and theyrefuse to admit to anyone that they areever, ever wrong about anything. Our human nature is addicted to acomfortable and pleasing, yet falseimage of who we really are—afixation on that false image is adifficult addiction to kick.In 50 years, marriage teaches

many lessons…the lessons are not

automatically learned or even

listened to by others with whom

one might wish to share them, but

they are lessons nonetheless.

Lessons Learned

Here’s a few of the favorite things Ihave learned in 50 years ofmarriage. I thank Karen for helpingme learn them:1) 50 years have taught me lovecan take a licking and keep onticking. Sickness, mistakes andfinancial hardships can challengeand threaten love. Love is tough and resilient and itneeds to be because there are manyenemies that threaten marriage andfamily. The love of God can heal,redeem and reconcile the mess andbrokenness that can and doeshappen in a marriage. Love is both a verb and a noun.

NOVEMBER 2019 5

Love receives and love gives. Love isthe subject and object. Love is aforce and dynamic that involves allkinds of feelings, actions andreactions. Love is not a permanentstate of excitement or ecstasy. 2) 50 years have taught me timewill never heal all wounds—timemight help bad memories fade, buttime does not heal. Acting like wounds don’t exist,blaming one’s spouse for all thehurts and pains while refusing toaccept personal responsibility willnever heal wounds. Love alone willheal all wounds. 50 years havetaught me that we imperfecthumans have a “gift” of alwayshurting the ones we love, but thegift of divine love will heal thosehurts. 3) 50 years have taught me it’strue—all you need is love. All youneed is a hand to hold and a heartthat understands—all you need iscompassion that puts up with youand mercy that forgives you. All you need is that little fist of anewborn child or grandchildholding your finger, and you’re inlove for life. 4) 50 years have taught me wordscan wound and even destroy. Wordsare best shared and served soft andtender, because we often have to eatthem. Words can and must beforgiven. Words are cheap. Words are heretoday and gone tomorrow. Love isexpensive, treasured and lastsforever.

5) 50 years have taught me thereare many mortal enemies of loveand marriage. Religion can separateand divide a home. Other peoplecan and do, for a variety of reasons,attack the sanctity of marriage andcause enormous grief. Bitterness, pride and the desire forrevenge may be the most toxic of allthe enemies of love and marriage.Forgiveness, humility and mercy aretrue friends and allies of love. 6) 50 years have taught meidealistic expectations can be amortal enemy of love—becauseexpectations are idealized notionsand they wind up being dashedwhen the rubber meets the road. We all have expectations—ofourselves and for our loved ones.Love involves the acceptance ofreality when our expectations fail.No husband or wife should ever gettired of seeking forgiveness andassuring their spouse of their love,and no husband or wife should evertire of saying “sorry”and expressingtheir love. 7) 50 years have taught me everycouple wants to make it to the topof the mountain, to see theirchildren do well, to enjoy healthygrandchildren, to pay off themortgage, to retire and enjoy thegolden years. Not everyone will make it to the top of the mountain they areclimbing, and that’s fine becausesatisfaction and happiness lie in thejourney, not on the top of themountain. q

As a toddler learning my firstprayers, my parents taughtme the importance ofgratitude. Not that they

explained exactly why gratitude wasimportant—just that it was. And so,at every meal and every night atbedtime, I made a habit ofidentifying ways that I experiencedGod’s goodness and I thanked him. While we’re all prone to reducinggratitude to a lifeless exercise in inanereligiosity, I now notice that othersreligiously avoid it. I’m intriguedwhen other Christ-followers scornprayers of thanks as a show of theirnon-religious spirituality. I find this odd in the context of ahigh-stress, grumpy world aftermodern psychology has confirmedPaul’s instincts about the two-foldimportance of fixing our minds onpositivity and giving thanks to Godin all circumstances:Positivity: “…Whatever is true,

whatever is noble, whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable—if anything is

excellent or praiseworthy—think aboutsuch things” (Philippians 4:8).Positivity is not naive optimism.Rather, it is attentiveness to thequiet melodies of God’s goodness ina cacophonous world. As a realistprone to jadedness, I know thevalue of spotting signs of hope andusing them as anchors for mymental health. I have much togrieve and much to celebrate everyday, so it’s important that I feed mysoul with nourishing spiritual

thoughts, words and images as oftenas I eat actual meals.Gratitude: “… give thanks in all

circumstances; for this is God’s willfor you in Christ Jesus” (1Thessalonians 5:18).I don’t give God thanks for eviland tragedy as such, but throughevery trial of life—in everycircumstance—I can be grateful thatI’m never alone. I can surrender mylife to the care of a loving God. Iwatch for both the surprising andthe unremarkable ways that careplays out, especially through thoseChrist sends as angels of mercy,whether they realize it or not. Anencouraging message from someonewho cares can change the course ofmy day and lift me fromdespondency to gratitude. Often,these boosts come through friendswho are extending their ownpractice of gratitude to bless me.

Faith Practice

One might regard the simplicity ofgiving thanks to God and others asbanal. “Banality” is defined as“unoriginal, obvious and boring.”But after 30 years of walking withothers drowning in the symptoms ofextreme trauma and/or addiction, Isee gratitude as a first-order necessity

for a life of recovery. Gratitude(along with surrender andforgiveness) is a daily stepping stoneon the pathway to wholeness. Often,gratitude is the best lifeline for thosetottering on the brink of insanity orrelapse—even if they can only “act as

if” they are grateful in the beginning. For that reason, I’ve come tobelieve gratitude is an essential faithpractice. No, it doesn’t earn us pointsin heaven or make God love us more.We’re way past that, right? Thenwhat do I mean by “faith practice”?First, thanksgiving sometimessprings naturally from a full heart.But far more often, especially forthose passing through dark valleys,expressing gratitude requires a leapof faith. When life is hard, praying“God, thank you for your goodness”is not hypocritical. It’s a prayer offaith like the “even though” prayersof the prophet Habakkuk:

“Though the fig tree does not budand there are no grapes on the vines,though the olive crop fails and thefields produce no food, though there areno sheep in the pen and no cattle in the

stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, Iwill be joyful in God my Savior”(Habakkuk 3:17-18). Second, gratitude is a practice,

because developing a habit of givingthanks when we’re doing okay givesus the spiritual muscle memory toreach out when we’re struggling. Aconsistent faith practice of gratitudeis not “religion”—it’s a mark ofChristlike maturity amid volatiletimes. Gratitude doesn’t open thetaps of heaven’s mercy—it opens ourhands to heaven’s already flowingmercy. Gratitude orients receptivehearts to our all-merciful God! q

Brad Jersak serves on the PTM andCWRpress editorial team.

Gratitude:

By Brad Jersak

One KeytoRecovery

NOVEMBER 2019 7

You know how events happen in groupsof three, don’t you? It happened to mejust last week. Well, two things anyway.

That’s almost three. I learned that some dearfriends had traveled multiple thousands ofmiles to visit an alternative healing center. As Iunderstand it, their ills will be diagnosed byspecial sound waves. Then they will undergo athree-week healing regimen, including moretherapeutic sound waves. This is obviously notconventional medical science, but they areconvinced it will be helpful.Then the very next day, as I was ponderingthis, I got an email from someone decrying thelack of physical healings. He said he hadn’theard of any healings (by his standards) inyears, so he was setting aside a day to avoidfood and drink to help convince God to healmore people—and he urged all to whom hesent his email to join with him.I have no argument with alternativemedicine or spiritual disciplines as such.People can engage in these things if they wish.Some alternative medical practices may have abasis in fact, although more valid research isoften needed as to how or whether or in whatcontext they work. Faith healings, prayer and fasting aredifferent matters, outside the purview ofscience. I just can’t agree with the writer’sassumption that there haven’t been any“healings” lately. Healings are happening allthe time—millions of them! A close friend, after being given five weeks tolive, was recently pronounced cancer-free afterseveral months of rigorous conventionalmedical treatments. Did we pray? Of course wedid, and we thanked God for his healing.We have also prayed for many other friendsand relatives who eventually died of cancerand other causes—including old age. If webelieve they have eternal life, we also mustbelieve that these people are healed in a timeand context of God’s choosing.Sitting in our living room, my wifecommented that some of our friends have

arrived at that place in life where they feel outof options—and that they take hope andcomfort from alternative treatments and/orrituals. While that is certainly true, I suspectsome folks may be looking for dramatic,spectacular, jaw-dropping “first-century”healings. But I see no indication in the NewTestament that arcane medicine or collectiveavoidance of food will make any of thathappen.When we are confronted with life’s bigproblems, we naturally seek solutions.Happily, sometimes the solutions are quick,easy and obvious. We take the right steps andboom! It’s all under control.

But other issues are stickier—especiallyhealth-related issues. As we exhaust ordinarysolutions, we begin to feel our sense of controlslipping away. The problems are out of our control. At thatpoint, we grasp at whatever is available,including unproven remedies, panaceas andmagic bullets. Beyond that, we become opento various rituals, practices and protocols thatwe think might give us some leverage withGod. Even though our problems may remainunsolved, we’re doing something, darn it, andwe feel like we’re back in control again.Here’s a thought (about which I have to keepreminding myself). What if, when we are facedwith situations beyond our control—whenwe’re out of options and there’s nothing leftfor us to do—when we’re at the end of ourrope—what if we just fall back on simple faithin God? He’s not a stickler for ritualistic protocolsand procedures. We can sincerely and intentlyask for his help—and then sit back and acceptthe fact that this is one of those times that weare not in control—but He is. q

—Monte Wolverton

When we’re at the end of our rope—

what if we just fall back on

simple faith in God?

In Control

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COPYRIGHT & POSTAL INFOThe Plain Truth is published six times a year byPlain Truth Ministries, Pasadena, CA 91129.Copyright © 2019 Plain Truth Ministries.Printed in U.S.A. All rights reserved. Volume84, Number 6: November 2019. Unless notedotherwise, scriptures are quoted from the HolyBible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 International BibleSociety. Used by permission of ZondervanBible Publishers. The Plain Truth® is a U.S.trademark.

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Quotes &

Connections

“My idea of God is not a divine

idea. It has to be shattered time

after time. He shatters it himself.

He is the great iconoclast. Could

we not almost say that this

shattering is one of the marks of

His presence? The Incarnation is

the supreme example. It leaves all

previous ideas of the Messiah in

ruins. And most are ‘offended’ by

the iconoclasm; and blessed are

those who are not.” —C.S. Lewis,

A Grief Observed

“Gratitude is an essential part of a

Christ-centered life. In marriage,

gratitude can act like super-glue,

bonding a couple. Gratitude in any

setting, including marriage, can be

infectious. Be an agent of gratitude

and infect others!”—Greg Albrecht

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