Notes from

TOaDHaLL

NNever Too Late

Margie , I 've adopted the "Shirkers & Slackers" program recently afterfailing yet again at another more sequential organized plan. Idon't need the burden of such at this time in my life--been there,done that. Blessings, Doug.

Doug should know that last August I finished reading through the Bible. Notbecause I finished way ahead of schedule. No. No. It took four and a half years thistime, so long that the chart with little squares checked off, dotted, dashed, folded,smeared with something brown--coffee or chocolate, I hope--looks like I've been living under a bridge, which is what happens when it takes months, even years.

Issue #1 - 2009Still Winter

2

You know how in Januarychurches, small groups, andministries across Christendomtry to recruit us to their read-through-the-Bible programswith all kinds of charts, prom-ise keeps, and certificates ofhonor? And you, in a momentof naivete, guilt, or chagrin foryour negligent, piggish ways,said this year I'll do it? Well,now it's February and you arealready hopelessly behind, youwretch. You are skipping days,cheating by checking off all ofLeviticus, and lying as you tellyourself tomorrow I�ll catch up.You are working out, talkingon your cell, updatingFacebook, anything but readingthe book of Habakkuk.Finally you just give up.If you are not one of us,please just skip thiswhole page. You are agood person and far moredisciplined than us.

Some years ago I pub-lished a schedule I calledThe Bible ReadingProgram for Shirkers andSlackers because itchanged the whole thingfor me. (You can find iton our website alongwith my original argu-ments: www.ransomfellowship.org;or you can clip out p.3-4 of this issue.) I think itwould be good to revisit this.

Now, I have good friends ofa younger generation whodetest daily Bible reading as afake gauge of holiness amongChristians; they see it as alegalism. There is also thequestion of why read a bookover and over again when I'veonly read, maybe five booksmore than once, one being C.S.Lewis' Til We Have Faces,which I read four times. Oh,and Francis Schaeffer's EscapeFrom Reason three timesbecause I didn't understand aword he said the first two tries.Of course, this is minus theendless repetition of children's

books that nearly wore me outand caused me to burn all ofDr. Suess' books. Naw. Just kid-ding, I probably took them toSalvation Army.

I agree there is nothingmagical about reading throughthe Bible in a year. It won'tsubtract years in Purgatory orobligate God to favor you overthe next guy. I understand thisbecause at one time I did readto chastise myself, hoping Godwould love me more. I waseventually freed when for morethan a year I didn't pray or reada single word and wouldn'thave attended church exceptthat Denis was on the staff of achurch at the time, and I didn't

have the guts not to. It wasBeing Human by RanaldMacauley and Jerram Barrs thathelped me understand theacceptance of Christ; his lovefor me was not dependantupon anything I added to mysalvation. Redemption wascomplete. Some of us find thismore tricky if we've habituallyworked to win the love of sig-nificant people, like, say, afather and not received it.

The big difference betweenthis plan and any other I'vetried is that it isn't tied to anyparticular date of the year. Onany day of the week, say,Friday, I read the assigned por-tion and happily check it off.Fridays are good days and it is

true I finished all of thembefore I finished the Saturdays,but then I simply read wherev-er I was behind. I also like thatreading chunks from differentparts of Scripture throughoutthe week gives a clearer pictureof the entire narrative of God'ssteadfast love through thou-sands of years of history help-ing me see that we are part of astory that is, yes, complete insome ways, but we still live inan unfinished chapter.Wherever I look in life,whether globally or the mostprivate rooms of my heart, Ineed a bigger picture to main-tain hope. This is where themagic and the mystery of God's

Word lives: listening tohis story gives mecourage to keep on doingmy small part, even as wewait for the final renewaland consummation ofGod's kingdom. I desper-ately need reminders ofthe absolute basics ofwho I am and where I amheaded. Though it some-times ticks me off, know-ing why is usually notsomething God gives. Iread, too, because it sus-tains and blesses not justin areas of the heart, but

in our very vocations and call -ings, which bring glory to Godwhether it is to plant a garden,map a gene, write a book, man-age a financial portfolio orstumble our way through per-sonal relationships.

So then, the next two pagesare meant to be clipped,trimmed and kept handy. Ifyou're so inclined. And if youhave a story, a response, or acomment (even if negative)send it to me via the Ransom�swebsite www.ransomfellowship.organd I will publish them laterthis year in an article or on myblog:http://toadsdrinkcoffee.blogspot.com .

Notes from Toad Hall

3Still Winter 2009

Notes from Toad Hall4

Still Winter 2009 5

RRansom Notes

This year our board of directors methere in Rochester despite some who com-plained bitterly about the January weather.(See our website for bios http://www.ransomfellowship.org/people.asp) Henry T. couldn'tmake it as he was hospitalized with avicious infection. (This is what you get, wesay, when you practice pathology and livearound all those dangerous bugs. Tsk.) Mygood friend, Peggy was coming with him toprepare meals, but also needed to cancel.We suffered, but managed with help fromsimpler menus and local friends who pitched in. I managed my control issues withexhortations from Denis who said , "I'm in no mood to tell you to sit down."

We love our time together with these friends who've walked beside us for manyyears, who bear our burdens, but also share their own hearts - their own joys andgriefs. We find both accountability and security with them. Denis and I marvel notonly at their love, but are pleased, challenged, and sometimes even amused whenthey don't hesitate to change our plans and priori -ties. Isolation and independence in ministry is not asafe thing and we've seen how it can wreck livesand callings.

During our two days together we spent morn-ings reflecting on topics that have a broader appli -cation to life, not just board business. The followingisn't a thorough summary, but more a "providentialcrapshoot," (Which became a theme when wedecided next year's meeting would be in St. Louis,and everyone moaned "Will it be WARMER there?"And Mary Guthrie replied, "it will be a providentialcrapshoot.") �and because I can't stop thinkingabout our discussion.

The first was led by Donald Guthrie, professorat Covenant Seminary. We looked at I Cor. 1: 4-9,focusing on what it means that God will make us strong or "sustain" us to the end. Ifyou are in a ministry what would that take? Steve commented that as he talks nation-wide to successful Christian leaders, a common theme is expressed: "My ministry isgoing pretty well; I am doing horribly." According to Donald's research, ongoing,unresolved conflict is the primary reason people leave ministry. But isn'tthat often why any of us leave people and situations in life?

Donald proposes five factors that contribute to sustainability. One areahe mentioned struck me because of my personal struggle with it: "SelfCare." Self-denial and martyrdom seem way more godly. And yet, beforeGod, I sense the truth of this comment: "If you cannot look someone in theeye with a legitimate need and say I cannot help you, you'll be dead."Really? Well, if not dead, then pretty sick. There is a finiteness to our givingand a point where we can pass from serving into sin when we assume theburden of all that's wrong with the world. Only God sustains us to the end.

The next morning Steve Garber, Director of the Washington Institutefor Faith http://www.washingtoninst.org led a discussion about the tension ofbeing found by God but often feeling like, to us, it is too late to makemuch difference.

Margie and Steve Garber

Front Yard at Toad Hall Jan ‘09

Sustainable

Daniel 9 was read and we discussed the pronouncementfrom God to Daniel, "You are greatly loved." Daniel is assuredof this on three different occasions. Here is the truth that weare not lost, we have a home, that God is for us. And yet it isalso true that "desolations are decreed" (Daniel 9:26). So why,he asked, Ransom Fellowship? What does the word "Ransom"mean in the midst of this tension? Because the deepest ofhuman longings is to be in a place where we are accepted;where we are home. We want Ransom Fellowship to representthe hidden reality that desolation is not the end of the story.Instead the orphan's wildest dream will come true - we will beransomed, rescued and led by the hand to our true home.

At year's endRansom squeakedthrough financially andwe have a bit to startthe year. We caught upon expenses. It waspretty amazing. Manyfriends have faithfullycared for us, some foryears, others who arenew to us. How canwe thank you for pray-ing and for giving? We

don't take it for granted, and we don't say God is good becauseof this or that, he is always good. When or if we get down to"chewing bones" we'll keep praying and watching how Godchanges our course or provides in ways we hadn't imagined.Trusting God shouldn't be new to any of us, nor should we bediscouraged when the future is unclear; he requires trust fromall of us whether in a ministry or not.

This year the board said it was anguishing to make deci -sions about budget cuts. (We get to leave during that part.Conflict of interest.) But, I can't emphasize enough how com-fortable we were with theprocess, and how eager weare to see what will happenthis year. We are comfortedby belonging to a communi-ty of friends and new possi-bilities for flourishing inuncertain times. Is thatcrazy?

One necessary cut willbe in publishing Critique--fewer issues and pages, butif we stay on time with ourprint schedules you'll stillhear plenty from us. Themost crushing cut will begiving up our Learjet and theGreek island I'm so fond of.

Notes from Toad Hall66

RComing Up

February 13-15.Rochester L'Abri Conference. �Proclaiming All God's Wondrous Works:Creation, Redemption, and Future Glory.�Denis will give a plenary (�Creation asGlorious Ruin�) along with workshops onthe unlovely, or ugly in art & life. I will havea conversation with a young couple - organ-ic farmers. Hope to see many of you there.

March 13-15. Concord, NC, Providence PCA. Denis will do a weekend conference onengaging culture. Check their website fordetails. http://www.ppcnet.net/.

March.My first column on food "Comforts andDelights" will be published by CommentMagazine. http://www.cardus.ca/comment/.

Praying about:Dates for Denis to teach classes atBEAMM, a Texas/Mexico border ministry.Possibilities and dates to do a film festivalin Knoxville.

Keeping up with our printing schedule, get-ting publications out on time.

Understanding and taking the time to write.Quiet time in one spot.

Balance between writing responsibilitiesand reaching out to others.

Thanks to God for the wonderful time Denishad teaching a class on small groups atCovenant Seminary with Dr. Guthrie.

Thanks for some prof-guys who want totake a road trip with Donald to Toad Halland replace some kitchen cabinets! Really?!

Thanks for continued friendship withyounger generation that inspires us beingjust who they are. And, ya, you older guys,too.

Ransom Notes continued

Travis, Toddy, Denis, BrookeL’Abri Conference 2008

Still Winter 2009 77

FFamily Notes

Our grandchildren amuse,delight, and call out fierceand fervent prayers from us.

Last year was our 40th weddinganniversary! I know! Much

grace has been required for twoflawed people to love eachother this long. We spent 2

weeks alone in CO.

We’re thankful for the way Marsena & Jeff havemade Denis' Aunt Ruth a part of their home & lives.

Movie night at the LaRose house.

For you.From Isobel.

Ansom & Paigeget footie PJs.

Superboys: Lishy, Kaiden, Mason.Our oldest granddaughter, Manessah.

The Lord is My ShepherdLast night I had trouble sleeping and watched the clock from

1:08 a.m. to 5:30 or there abouts. At 2:15 I put lotion on my hands--they were dry and annoying. I shifted pillows. I snuggled to Denis'warm back and got too hot. I folded the blanket back and waitedfor chill air to settle. I watched the black pine sway against the nightsky. At 3:10 I ate a tiny bowl of granola and raisins, watching thedarkened neighborhood from the kitchen window. I slipped backinto bed. I tried not to think or even pray for Shaun who is having asevere asthma attack, or for friends whose marriage has imploded,or Dad who needs his foot amputated, or any other thing that needsto be left in God's hands while I sleep. Cautiously turned on thebedside lamp and worked a Sudoku, hoping the light wouldn'twake Denis. He didn't stir. I solved it by cheating a little.

My dreams are vivid. Sometimes troubled. Men intending evilget in the house.�ah, well, that's another topic. So then, finally fellasleep reciting the 23rd Psalm, not counting sheep, but imagining Iwas one. What sort of hillside would ittake to make me drowsy, sleepy? Twohours later I woke and rememberedleaving a familiar house, someone wascalling me out. I stepped into a field ofbright grass dotted with flowers andgrazing animals. A row of ducks filedpast. Then another. A familiar andbeloved dog romped beside me. Iscolded him for snapping, in his doggyfashion, a bumble bee hanging from aclover blossom. He spit it out lookingchagrined. An old ewe, black-faced andsquare, her gray fleece scruffy and stuckwith bits of straw approached. My fin-gers twined in the wool of her back asshe led me toward a group ofPercherons grazing across the field. Oneof them, a dappled mare, lifted herhead and walked toward me. I kneltdown, waiting, a handful of offering in my hand. Towering aboveme, she lowered her head, her lips quietly popping, and gentlypulled the alfalfa from my hand and ate. I woke wondering what isthis place and who has called me here?

Even, perhaps for some, only in dreams our lives track throughthe nights, through the years toward God, toward true home,toward inevitable joy and lightness of being.

Wishing you shepherded togreen pastures.

Warmly,

Margie Haack

8 Notes from Toad Hall

FFinal Notes Toad Hall is the name of our home,christened by our children. It is fromthe book The Wind in the Willows, afavorite of ours. In it Mole, a shy yetdaring character, and Ratty, who ismuch nicer and more sensible thanhis name would imply, have manyadventures along the river. One oftheir friends is Toad of Toad Hall. Toadis something of an aristocrat and livesin a mansion. Otherwise, he has verylittle to commend him and reallydoesn�t deserve friends since he is acallous liar, lacks common sense and,well, he lives for the pleasure of themoment�which brings him no end oftrouble.

When we moved to Minnesota in1981, our children had rarely seensuch tall homes with their imposingthree stories. They were used to one-story adobes which rambled along inthe hot New Mexico sun. So, to ourchildren, a midwestern Gothic four-square looked amazingly like a man-sion. Possibly even as great a houseas Toad Hall.

Managing Editor - Matthew Hundley

Notes From Toad Hall is not availableby subscription. Rather, interestedreaders can request to be added toRansom�s mailing list, which is updat-ed frequently. Donors to RansomFellowship, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, tax-deductible ministry, are added to themailing list automatically unlessrequesting otherwise. Everyone onRansom�s mailing list also receivesCritique magazine. To receive themsend your mailing address to:

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