Notes to Active Listening
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ACTIVE LISTENING
Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to feed back what they hear to
the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm
what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties.
When interacting, people often "wait to speak" rather than listening attentively. They might also be
distracted. Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others, focusing attention on
the "function" of communicating objectively as opposed to focusing on "forms", passive expression or
subjectivity.
There are many opinions on what is "active listening". A search of the term reveals interpretations of the
"activity" as including "interpreting body language" or focusing on something other than or in addition to
words. Successful communication is the establishment of common ground between two people
understanding. Agreeing to disagree is common ground. Common ground can be false, i.e., a person
says they feel a certain way but they do not. Nevertheless it is common ground, once accepted as
understood. Dialogue, understanding and progress can only arise from that common ground. And that
common ground cannot be established without respect for the words as spoken by the speaker, for
whatever reason.
Thus the essence of active listening is as simple as it is effective: paraphrasing the speakers words back
to them as a question. There is little room for assumption or interpretation. It is functional, mechanical and
leaves little doubt as to what is meant by what is said. "The process is successful if the person receiving
the information gives feedback which shows understanding for meaning. Suspending one's own frame of
reference, suspending judgment and avoiding other internal mental activities are important to
fully attend to the speaker.
Primary elements
There are three key elements of active listening: comprehending, retainingand responding
Comprehending
Comprehension is "shared meaning between parties in a communication transaction".[1]
This is the first
step in the listening process. The first challenge for the listener is accurately identifying speech sounds
and understanding and synthesizing these sounds as words.[citation needed]
We are constantly bombarded
with auditory stimuli, so the listener has to select which of those stimuli are speech sounds and choose to
pay attention to the appropriate sounds (attending).[citation needed] The second challenge is being able to
discern breaks between discernible words, or speech segmentation.[1]
This becomes significantly more
difficult with an unfamiliar language because the speech sounds blend together into a continuous jumble.
Determining the context and meanings of each word is essential to comprehending a sentence.[citation
needed]
Retaining
This is the second step in the listening process. Memory is essential to the listening process because the
information we retain when involved in the listening process is how we create meaning from words. We
depend on our memory to fill in the blanks when we're listening. Because everyone has different
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memories, the speaker and the listener may attach different meanings to the same statement. However,
our memories are fallible and we can't remember everything that we've ever listened to. There are many
reasons why we forget some information that we've received. The first is cramming. When you cram there
is a lot of information entered into your short term memory. Shortly after cramming, when you don't need
the information anymore, it is purged from your brain before it can be transferred into your long term
memory.[2]
The second reason is that you aren't paying attention when you receive the information.
Alternatively, when you receive the information you may not attach importance to it, so it loses its
meaning. A fourth reason is at the time the information was received you lacked motivation to listen
carefully to better remember it.[1]
Using information immediately after receiving it enhances information
retention and lessens the forgetting curve (the rate at which we no longer retain information in our
memory).[3]
Retention is lessened when we engage in mindless listening, where little effort is made to
listen to a speaker's message. Mindful listening is active listening.
Responding
Listening is an interaction between speaker and listener. It adds action to a normally passive process.
The speaker looks for verbal and nonverbal responses from the listener to determine if the message is
being listened to. Usually the response is nonverbal because if the response is verbal the speaker/listener
roles are reversed so the listener becomes the speaker and is no longer listening. Based on the response
the speaker chooses to either adjust or continue with his/her communication style.
Tactics
Active listening involves the listener observing the speaker's behavior and body language. Having the
ability to interpret a person's body language lets the listener develop a more accurate understanding of
the speaker's message.[4]
When the listener does not respond to the speaker's nonverbal language, (s)he
engages in a content-only response which ignores the emotions that guide the message. [citationneeded]
Having heard, the listener may then paraphrase the speaker's words. It is important to note that the
listener is not necessarily agreeing with the speakersimply stating what was said.
In emotionally charged communications, the listener may listen for feelings.[citation needed]
Thus, rather than
merely repeating what the speaker has said, the active listener will describe the underlying emotion ("You
seem to feel angry," or "You seem to feel frustrated, is that because ... ?").[citation needed]
Individuals in conflict often contradict each other. This has the effect of denying the validity of the other
person's position.[citation needed]
Ambushing occurs when one listens to someone else's argument for its
weaknesses and ignore its strengths.[1]
The purpose is to attack the speakers position and support their
own.[citation needed]
This may include a distortion of the speakers argument to gain a competitive advantage.
Either party may react defensively, and they may lash out or withdraw. [citation needed] On the other hand, ifone finds that the other party understands, an atmosphere of cooperation can be created. This increases
the possibility of collaborating and resolving the conflict.[citation needed]
In the book Leader Effectiveness Training, Thomas Gordon, who coined the term "active
listening,"[5]
states "Active listening is certainly not complex. Listeners need only restate, in their own
language, their impression of the expression of the sender. ... Still, learning to do Active Listening well is a
rather difficult task ..."[6]
Use[edit]
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Active listening is used in a wide variety of situations, specially most important of which is in ironing out
disputes.
Active listening chart[citation needed]
A listener can use several degrees of active listening, each resulting in a different quality ofcommunication. The active listening chart below shows the three main degrees of listening: repeating,
paraphrasing and reflecting.[citation needed]
The proper use of active listening results in getting people to open up, avoiding misunderstandings,
resolving conflict, and building trust.[12]
In a medical context, benefits may include increased patient
satisfaction,[8]
improved cross-cultural communication,[13]
improved outcomes,[8]
or decreased litigation.[14]
Active listening can be lifted by the active listening observation scale.[15]
Barriers to active listening[edit]
All elements of communication, including listening, may be affected by barriers that can impede the flow
of conversation.[citation needed] Such barriers include distractions, trigger words, vocabulary, and limitedattention span.
[16]
Listening barriers may be psychological[citation needed]
(e.g. emotions)[citation needed]
or physical[citation needed]
(e.g.
noise and visual distraction). Cultural differences including speakers' accents, vocabulary, and
misunderstandings due to cultural assumptions often obstruct the listening process.[citation needed]
Frequently, the listener's personal interpretations, attitudes, biases, and prejudices lead to ineffective
communication.[citation needed]
Shift response[edit]
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The first of these is the shift response which is the general tendency in a conversation to affix the
attention to you. There is competition between individuals for attention and a focus on self by shifting the
topic; it is a me-oriented technique.[citation needed]
The listener shifts from a passive position, receiver, to an
active role, sender.[citation needed]
This is a type of conversational narcissism; the tendency of listeners to turn
the topic of conversations to themselves without showing sustained interest in others listening.[17]
With
conversational narcissism there is a tendency to overuse the shift response and under use the support
response.[citation needed]
A support response is the opposite of a shift response; it is an attention giving
method and a cooperative effort to focus the conversational attention on the other person. Instead of
being me-oriented like shift response, it is we-oriented.[18]
It is the response most likely to be used by a
competent communicator[1]
Overcoming listening barriers[edit]
To use the active listening technique to improve interpersonal communication, one puts personal
emotions aside during the conversation, asks questions and paraphrases back to the speaker to clarifyunderstanding, and one also tries to overcome all types of environment distractions. Judging or arguing
prematurely is a result of holding onto a strict personal opinion.[19]
This hinders the ability to be able to
listen closely to what is being said. Furthermore, the listener considers the speaker's background, both
cultural and personal, to benefit as much as possible from the communication process.[citation needed]
Eye
contact and appropriate body languages are seen as important components to active listening. Effective
listening involves focusing on what the speaker is saying; at times the listener might come across certain
key words which may help them understand the speaker.[citation needed]
The stress and intonation may also
keep them active and away from distractions. Taking notes on the message can aid in retention.[citation
needed]
Misconceptions about listening[edit]
There are several misconceptions about listening. The first of these is listening and hearing are the same
thing.[citation needed]
Hearing is the physiological process of registering sound waves as they hit the
eardrum.[citation needed]
We have no control over what we hear. The sounds we hear have no meaning until
we give them their meaning in context.[citation needed]
Listening on the other hand is an active process that
constructs meaning from both verbal and nonverbal messages.[1]
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A c t i v e l i s t e n i n g
What affects listening?
Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are listening to,
whether in a group or one-on-one, in order to understand what he or she is saying.
As the listener, you should then be able to repeat back in your own words what they have said to their
satisfaction. This does not mean you agree with the person,
but rather understand what they are saying.
What do you think of the
subject matter?
Have you a lot of experience with it?
Will it be hard to understand, or simple?
Is it important to you, or just fun?
Is the speaker experienced or nervous?
What are his/her non-verbal cues?
What frame of mind is he or she?
How personable, threatening, intelligent, etc.?
Is the message illustrated with
with visuals or examples?
Is the space conducive to listening?
or to interaction or exchange
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Is technology used effectively?
Are concepts introduced incrementally,
or with examples?
with the speaker?
Are there avoidable distractions?
Described above are the external factors.
Now: what about you, the center, the listener?
Prepare with a positive, engaged attitude
Focus your attention on the subject
Stop all non-relevant activities beforehand to orient yourself
to the speaker or the topic
Review mentally what you already know about the subject
Organize in advance relevant material in order to develop it further
(previous lectures, TV programs, newspaper articles, web sites, prior real life experience, etc.)
Avoid distractionsSeat yourself appropriately close to the speaker
Avoid distractions (a window, a talkative neighbor, noise, etc.)
Acknowledge any emotional state
Suspend emotions until later, or
Passively participate unless you can control your emotions
Set aside your prejudices, your opinions
You are present to learn what the speaker has to say,
not the other way around
Actively listen
Be other-directed; focus on the person communicating
Follow and understand the speaker as if you were walking in their shoesListen with your ears but also with your eyes and other senses
Be aware: non-verbally acknowledge points in the speech
Let the argument or presentation run its course
Don't agree or disagree, but encourage the train of thought
Be involved:
Actively respond to questions and directions
Use your body position (e.g. lean forward) and attention to encourage the speaker and signal your
interest
Follow up activities
One-to-one
Give the speaker time and space for rest after talkingExpress appreciation for the sharing to build trust and encourage dialogue
Check if you have understood
Restate key points to affirm your understanding & build dialogue
Summarize key points to affirm your understanding & build dialogue
Ask (non-threatening) questions to build understanding
Continue dialogue:
Reflect on your experience to demonstrate your interest (feedback)
Interpret after you feel you have grasped content
Apply what you have learned to a new situation
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In a group or audience
give the speaker space to regroup, to debrief after talking
During Q & A
If posing a question
Quickly express appreciation
Briefly summarize a preliminary point
Ask the relevant question
If making a point
Quickly express appreciation
Briefly restate the relevant idea as presented
State your idea, interpretation, reflection
Invite a response
Continued development
Get contact information for later reference
Invite friends/colleagues/etc. for discussion afterward Write out a summary with questions for further review
Although the feedback step is at the heart of active listening, to be effective, each of the following steps
must taken:
Look at the person, and suspend other things you are doing.
Listen not merely to the words, but the feeling content.
Be sincerely interested in what the other person is talking about.
Restate what the person said.
Ask clarification questions once in a while.
Be aware of your own feelings and strong opinions.
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If you have to state your views, say them only after you have listened.
Steps
1. 1
Prepare mentally. This requires that you clear your mind and dedicate your focus to taking in as much asyou can of what is being said to you. Prepare for active listening in the following ways:
o Tell yourself that you are going to pay attention, and then make the conscious effort to focus solely on thespeaker and block out any background noise or other distractions.
o Get rid of any distractions that may stand in your way of paying full attention. This means closing off anyother conversations you are having and stopping any activities you are doing.
o Clear your mind of any preconceived ideas or emotions pertaining to what you think the speaker mightsay. It is important to approach active listening with an open mind, and to wait to form opinions until youhave heard what the speaker has to say.
2. 2
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Pay attention. Active listening involves focusing not only on verbal communication skills, but alsoon body language cues, in order to get a thorough understanding of the speaker's message. To beattentive, employ the following techniques:
o Maintain a physical stance that promotes successful communication. Face and lean towards the personspeaking to you. Open your posture, as opposed to crossing your arms.
o Make eye contact with the speaker.o Take note of the speaker's body language. This will give you clues into the meaning, feeling and purpose
behind what the speaker is saying.o Focus on the message behind the words, rather than the words themselves. Your goal is to understand
what the speaker is trying to communicate to you, regardless of how effective the speaker is atarticulating the message. Discard judgment and pay close attention to the verbal and physical clues youare receiving.
o Consider both what the speaker is thinking and what the speaker is feeling.o Practice empathy. Empathy is the act of feeling what the speaker is feeling. Attempt to identify with the
speaker, so that you fully understand the depth of what is being said to you. You don't have to agree, but
you should be able to recognize the speaker's full intention.o Avoid formulating a response while you are listening. Wait until the speaker is finished before you devote
your mental energy to what you want to say. If the speaker signals to you for an acknowledgement ofyour understanding during the speech, it is okay to respond with a simple comment or question to showthat you are paying attention.
3. 3
Allow the speaker to communicate without any interruption, until the speaker concludes .
4. 4
Provide feedback. Do so with honesty, and with respect for the speaker. Focus on the speaker'smessage and avoid adding new ideas.
o Acknowledge to the speaker that you are paying attention. Nod your head, smile and give other physicalencouragements when it is appropriate. Additionally, provide verbal cues of encouragement to thespeaker, such as, "go on" and "I see."
o When the speaker concludes, respond with your interpretation of what was said. It is a good idea to takea moment of silent consideration as you formulate your response. Your response should be a conciseparaphrase, or summation, of what the speaker said, as you understood it. Phrases like, "this is what Iheard" and "I think this is what you meant" are commonly used when paraphrasing.
o Allow the speaker to further clarify if you misjudged the meaning of the communication.o Ask questions if you feel that you need more information. Actively listen as the speaker provides
explanation.
5. 5Repeat the feedback process until you and the speaker are satisfied that the message was amplyconveyed.
Active Listening
Part of our: Listening Skills series.
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Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. However, this skill can
be difficult to master and will, therefore, take time and patience.
'Active listening' means, as its name suggests, actively listening. That is fully concentrating on
what is being said rather than just hearing the message of the speaker. Active listening involves
listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the
active listener is also seen to be listening - otherwise the speaker may conclude that what they
are talking about is uninteresting to the listener. Interest can be conveyed to the speaker by using
both verbal and non-verbal messages such as maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and
smiling, agreeing by saying Yes or simply Mmm hmm to encourage them to continue. By
providing this 'feedback' the person speaking will usually feel more at ease and therefore
communicate more easily, openly and honestly.
Listening is the most fundamental component of interpersonal communication skills. Listening isnot something that just happens (that is hearing), listening is an active process in which a conscious
decision is made to listen to and understand the messages of the speaker. Listeners should remain
neutral and non-judgmental, this means trying not to take sides or form opinions, especially early in the
conversation. Active listening is also about patience - pauses and short periods of silence should be
accepted. Listeners should not be tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there are a
few seconds of silence. Active listening involves giving the other person time to explore their thoughts
and feelings, they should, therefore, be given adequate time for that.
Active listening not only means focusing fully on the speaker but also actively showing verbal and
non-verbal signs of listening. Generally speakers want listeners to demonstrate active listening by
responding appropriately to what they are saying. Appropriate responses to listening can be both verbaland non-verbal:
Signs of Active Listening
Non-verbal signs of attentive or active listening
This is a generic list of non-verbal signs of listening, in other words people who are listening are more
likely to display at least some of these signs. However these signs may not be appropriate in all
situations and across all cultures.
Smile
Small smiles can be used to show that the listener is paying attention to what is being said or as a way of
agreeing or being happy about the messages being received. Combined with nods of the head, smiles
can be powerful in affirming that messages are being listened to and understood.
Eye Contact
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It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. Eye contact can however be
intimidating, especially for more shy speakers gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given
situation. Combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker.
Posture
Posture can tell a lot about the sender and receiver in interpersonal interactions. The attentive listener
tends to lean slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting. Other signs of active listening may include a
slight slant of the head or resting the head on one hand.
Mirroring
Automatic reflection/mirroring of any facial expressions used by the speaker can be a sign of attentive
listening. These reflective expressions can help to show sympathy and empathy in more emotional
situations. Attempting to consciously mimic facial expressions (i.e. not automatic reflection of
expressions) can be a sign of inattention.
Distraction
The active listener will not be distracted and therefore will refrain from fidgeting, looking at a clock or
watch, doodling, playing with their hair or picking their fingernails.
Learn more about Non-Verbal Communication.
Be aware that: it is perfectly possible to learn and mimic these non-verbal signs of active listening
and not actually be listening at all. It is more difficult to mimic verbal signs of listening and
comprehension.
Verbal signs of attentive or active listening
Positive Reinforcement
Although a strong signal of attentiveness, caution should be used when using positive verbal
reinforcement. Although some positive words of encouragement may be beneficial to the speaker the
listener should use them sparingly so as not to distract from what is being said or place unnecessary
emphasis on parts of the message. Indeed casual and frequent use of very good, yes or indeed can
become irritating to the speaker. It is usually better to elaborate and explain why you are agreeing with a
certain point.
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Remembering
The human mind is notoriously bad at remembering details, especially for any length of time. However,
remembering a few key points, or even the name of the speaker, can help to reinforce that the messages
sent have been received and understood i.e. listening has been successful. Remembering details,
ideas and concepts from previous conversations proves that attention was kept and is likely to encourage
the speaker to continue. During longer exchanges it may be appropriate to make very brief notes to act
as a memory jog when questioning or clarifying later. (See more on Questioning and Clarifying.)
Questioning
The listener can demonstrate that they have been paying attention by asking relevant questions and/or
making statements that build or help to clarify what the speaker has said. By asking relevant questions
the listener also helps to reinforce that they have an interest in what the speaker has been saying. (See
our pages on Questioning and Types of Question.)
Reflection
Reflecting is closely repeating or paraphrasing what the speaker has said in order to show
comprehension. Reflection is a powerful skill that can reinforce the message of the speaker and
demonstrate understanding. (See our page on Reflection.)
Clarification
Clarifying involves asking questions of the speaker to ensure that the correct message has been
received. Clarification usually involves the use of open questions which enables the speaker to expand
on certain points as necessary. (See our page onClarification.)
Summarisation
Repeating a summary of what has been said back to the speaker is a technique used by the listener to
repeat what has been said in their own words. Summarising involves taking the main points of the
received message and reiterating them in a logical and clear way, giving the speaker chance to correct if
necessary.