Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a method for conflict resolution and social change International...

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Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a method for conflict resolution and social change International Fellowship of Reconciliation German branch

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  • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a method for conflict resolution and social change International Fellowship of Reconciliation German branch
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  • Project experience: Constructive Conflict managment in Communes and Boroughs (CCC) 2001 - 2005 supported by the Ministry of Integration and Family
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  • Nonviolent Communiation What I want in life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart. And on this ground acting for peace and social change Marshall Rosenberg Words can be walls or windows
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  • NVC is... a language of compassion a tool for social change and peace work a way to connect with oneself and others transforming conflicts acting out of authonomy and free will understanding on level of needs and feelings
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  • Wolf and Giraffe Words can be walls or windows
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  • Communication Disconnecting Connecting Evaluation, Interpretation Devaluation Position Order Conflict = Danger War-tradition Feeling=sign of failing Win-loose strategy Judge, Guilt, blame Analysis World of boundries Observation Appreciation Needs, Interestes Request, Free will Conflict = Chance Tradition of comprehension Feeling=signpost for understanding Win-Win strategy, synergy Mediation Compassionate listening World of rich variety
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  • Diconnecting Communication Impact on personal and interpersonal development Regarding oneself (self worth) and otheres: Punish, demand, compare, analyze, criticize, praise, blame, evaluate Reactivity, Defensiveness, Dependence, Fixation on outcome
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  • Connecting Communication Impact on personal and interpersonal development Regarding oneself (inherent self worth) and others: Request, connect, understand, compassion, needs, feelings, protect, appreciate, listen Concious responses, Autonomy, Focus on connection, Interdependence
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  • The four components of NVC 1. Observation 2. Feelings 3. Needs 4. Request Distinguishing them from judegments, interpretations and demands Fostering of understanding, connection and authonomy
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  • 1. Observation: Description of what is seen/heard. 2. Feelings: Our inner experience rather than reaction to what other people are doing. 3.Needs: The cause of our feelings. That what we need (universal). 4.Request: Doable, immediate and positive action. Empathy: Listening to what is going on in me and the other person.
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  • Feelings show weather needs are met or not met Feelings we have when needs are not met: Afraid, concerned, nervous, over- whelmed, shocked frustrated, irritated bored, depressed, exhausted, hurt hopeless, sad, tired Feelings we have when needs are met: Amazed, alive, calm confident, encouraged, glad, grateful hopeful, loving, peaceful, relaxed touched, stimulated joyful, eager
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  • Needs Subsistence Food / Rest / Shelter / Clear Air and Water / Intimity Freedom Autonomy / Choice / To speak one`s mind Celebrating / mourning Creativity / learning / inspiration Security Openness / Order / Safety / Honesty / Trust Participation Belonging / Community / Harmony / Recognition / Support / Respect / To enrich life / Learning Understanding Consideration / Empathy / Peace of mind / Love / Peace / Beauty / Meaning
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  • Four Steps (expression) Observation When I see/hear... Feeling I feel... Need Because I need... Request Would you be willing...?
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  • Four Steps (empathy) Observation When I you see/hear... Feeling Do you feel...? Need Because you need... ? Request Would you like...?
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  • The class is out of control. The teaching seems to be a mass... Observation: When I see, how unhappy my daughter is, when she comes home and tells what has happened at school... Feeling: Im feeling alarmed and concerned... Need:...because I need clarity about what`s going on for my daughter. I need to know that she is safe and supported. Request: Would you be willing to share with me what you see happening and the steps you`re taking to foster harmony among the children?
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  • Fields of applicating NVC Intercultural dialogue Administration NGO`s Local authority University Team, Networks School, Kinder garden Neighbourhood, Family Company Government, Politics
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  • Preperation and planing Teacher training Project week Start End Supervision and Ongoing practice Evaluation School conference Parents training Example: SCHOOL PROJECT
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  • Think of a non-NVC reaction/response you made: __________________________ Now transform into NVC: 1. What was your observation?____ 2. How did you feel?_____________ 3. What did you need?___________ 4. What could be a request?______ Exercise
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  • Optionen im Konflikt Quelle: Schule fr Mediation und Verstndigung, Steyerberg
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  • Gefhle bei unerfllten Bedrfnissen angespannt, ngstlich, aggressiv, aufgeregt, bedrckt, beschmt, besorgt, betroffen, deprimiert, einsam, elend, entsetzt, erschpft, erschrocken, frustriert, gehemmt, geladen, gelangweilt, gleichgltig, hilflos, mde, nervs, sauer, skeptisch, traurig, ungeduldig, unzufrieden, unter Druck, verspannt, verschlossen,wtend, verzweifelt, zornig
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  • Gefhle bei erfllten Bedrfnissen angeregt, ausgeglichen, beflgelt, befreit, begeistert, berhrt, dankbar, energetisch, engagiert, entschlossen, entspannt, erfllt, ermutigt, frei, froh, geborgen, gelassen, heiter, interessiert, kraftvoll, lebendig, liebevoll, offen, selbstsicher, still, unternehmungslustig, verliebt, wachsam, zufrieden, zrtlich, zuversichtlich
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  • Der Wolf Meine Lieblingsbeschftigung ist, mich rgern Wenn ich angegriffen werde, mu ich zurckbeien Ich mache oft Schuldzuweisungen Ich stelle Forderungen statt Bittend Ich denke Mit Dir ist etwas nicht in Ordnung Ich sehe besonders, was jemand nicht kann Man kann anderen nicht trauen
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  • Die Giraffe Ich habe das grte Herz aller Landtiere Ich stehe fr Austausch und Klarheit Ich sage, was ich brauche Ich kann Gefhle und Bedrfnisse anderer rausfinden Ich bin fhig, um Hilfe zu bitten Weil ich mich selbst wertschtze, kann ich auch andere wertschtzen Mein Blick richtig sich auf Mglichkeiten, statt auf Defizite
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  • Giraffen-Detektiv werden 1. Was hat die Person gesagt oder getan? 2. Worauf hat die Person reagiert? 3. Was hat die Person gedacht? 4. Was hat die Person gefhlt? 5. Was hat die Person gewollt oder gebraucht?