NO ONE IS BORN TO BE ALONE - afnonlus.org APPEAL Central Africa Republic Saint Claire School Complex...

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Travelling to discoversupport at a distanceprojects

AROUND THE WORLD

How to approachbiological familymeetings?

ADOPTIONS

NO ONE IS BORN TOBE ALONEWe want all children to beable to experience the senseof an extended family

AFN Azione per Famiglie Nuove onlusSpazio Famiglia Magazine - Year II n.3 November 2017

AN APPEAL

Central Africa Republic Saint Claire School Complex A SCHOOL FOR THEM!

school building consisting of threeclassrooms where educational activities ofany kind, training, recreational andagricultural activities for both childrenand their parents can be carried out. Theproject was already launched last summerand the construction is nearly finishedwith the help of the local community, butit is necessary to complete the works inorder to make the entire complexaccessible. The funds to be collectedamount to approximately Euro 28,400.00.If you would like to help with thisinitiative, contributions can be made tothe AFNonlus current or postal bankaccount with the following paymentdescription: “Sainte Claire RCA complex donation”.

e are in the municipality ofBimbo, in a suburban area,on a 2 hectares plotbelonging to the Focolare

Movement, fenced and with a well fordrinking water, 8 km from the capital,Bangui, in the Central African Republic.Today the SAD programme is aimed atapproximately 90 children (from 6 to 19years old), who receive support in termsof food, health care and schooling. Thechildren attend primary schools andprivate high schools. Extra-curricularactivities such as after school activities,remedial courses, fun activities duringholidays, food distribution and health careinterventions are provided in church halls.The project involves the construction of a

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15AFNonlus - Azione perFamiglie Nuove Onlusmonthly magazineNovember 2017

Editor Aurora Nicosia

CoordinationGiovanna Pieroni

This issue saw thecollaboration of: Anita Leonetti, GiulioMeazzini, Barbara Pandolfi,Paolo Perticaroli, GiovannaPieroni, Marzia Rigliani,Andrea Turatti, Anna Vegliach

Graphic design and Art direction Alessandro Palmieri

Publisher and Registered office AFNonlus - Azione perFamiglie Nuove OnlusVia Isonzo, 64 - 00046Grottaferrata (Roma) ItalyTax Code 920 1212 0587 Tel. 06.97.60.83.47Fax. [email protected]

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3NOVEMBER 2017 SPAZIO FAMIGLIA

Editorial

We all have it in us to be donors

Our commitment

The open spirit with which AFNonlus projects and initiatives are being carried out

DIANDREA TURATTI

uring these past few years ofpassionate commitment, thatwhich left the most lastingimpression on me is theexperience of being a donor. An

enriching experience, which makes oneaware of one’s potential and which continuesto be valid even when it is not accepted orunderstood. If I can be a donor, others can beso for me. This year, visiting a number ofAFNonlus projects on three continents, I sawwith my very eyes that in our schools,

children benefit not only from education andnutrition, but experience the beauty of love,through different games and dynamics,enriched by the experience of giving. Adonation in fact, is never just somethingmaterial, rather relating to one’s availability, a

Dlife proposition, a sharing experience.Children, experiencing the confidence thatthey are given, acquire the tools to becomeprotagonists of their lives and promoters ofchange around them. In our projects, parentsof children who have received help noticesmall but important progress in their lovedones, to which they do not remain indifferent.With their curiosity aroused they seek to getto know and then to participate themselvesin the Community Centre, contributing asthey can to housekeeping, preparing mealsfor the kids, or by sewing their uniforms.Living in close contact with these families,one discovers new needs, leading to courseson nutrition, hygiene and health careprevention, professional training andinformation on responsible procreation. Inthis way, the community broadens andbecomes a family. The long-distance supportand sponsorships provided by AFNonlusmakes this possible. Based on the “culture ofgiving” of the Focolare Movement, it is anexperience that forms and transforms thoseinvolved, a means through which everyonecan enrich themselves though theexperience of giving. We all have it in us to bedonors, as Benigni says about happiness, butmany times we are not aware of thispossibility or deny it for fear of losingsomething. While in reality, by giving weenrich ourselves. Is the most beautiful wish Iwould like to extend to everyone.

HELLO,

The Mangia family tells its adoptionstory of three sisters who arrived fromLithuania and the visit of theirbiological grandmother

International adoptions Lithuania by Giovanna Pieroni

GRANNY!

6 MARZO 2017SPAZIO FAMIGLIA

International adoptions Lithuania[ ]

6 NOVEMBRE 2017SPAZIO FAMIGLIA

he walls of the Man-gia family house ca-refully preservephotos from thepast, a thread to berewound, at timesfoggier than the fu-ture. A frame di-splays a quote by J.

Baladán Gadea: “We too, like waterflowing, are travellers in search of a

sea”. It does not seem to be there bychance. Aurora, Alessia and Agnese,three Lithuanian sisters aged 11, 13and 14, recently received a specialvisit from grandma Marina, who tra-velled from their native country tomeet them. “I am extremely gratefulto the parents who keep this rela-tionship with me alive”, she tells us.In fact, at the beginning, the motherElisa was scared of this meeting:“Who knew what thoughts andemotions such a visit could elicit inour daughters. But we realised wehad to allow this to happen with anopen mind.” The stork arrived onAugust 31, 8 years ago when Elisaand Claudio finally learned thatthree baby girls were waiting for afamily. Vilma Banyté, AFNonlus Inter-national Adoption representative inLithuania, accompanied them tomeet the three young sisters whoresided in two different institutions.Since the first two had reached theage of 4, they had in fact been relo-cated to a different structure fromAgnese. “Aurora and Alessia conti-nuously implored us to not forgetabout their little sister – Vilma recalls–. Their grandma Marina could not

take them with her, but she wouldvisit often, bringing the girls bana-nas, grapes and ice cream. One timethe oldest, Aurora, told her, hesita-ting: “We are going to have new pa-rents.” Grandma Marina reassuredher, seeing in this transition – whichfor her implied a painful separation– the chance of a new life, acceptingthe request to meet the new parentsprior to the conclusion of the adop-tion”. She smiles at the memory, hereyes becoming deep blue like thesea: “When we met, I felt like I knewElisa and Claudio for 100 years, as ifwe were one family. I am very happythat the girls have such wonderfulparents and I pray that they will ha-ve strength and enjoy a long life.”The new family then left Lithuania,greeting grandma Marina with a“Goodbye”. It was Christmas Eve anda new life was waiting for them inItaly. Elisa and Claudio tried to sup-port the girls in their integrationstep by step and with as much careas possible, helping them overcomethe fear of their new surroundingsand the difficulties of integrating inanother country.

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Aurora, Alessia and Agnese withgrandma Marina in Lithuania and with

the foster parents Elisa and Claudio


Interview with Daniela Forante AFNonlus Trento social worker who speaks to us about theimportance of support services for adoptive families

Searching for originsby Anna Vegliach

What are the modes forfacilitating meetings with thebiological family?

In most cases, there is a need toprepare the family for this mee-ting. It is essential that childrenhave sufficiently consolidated the“attachment process” towardstheir adoptive parents, aimed atstrengthening mutual ties. Forchildren who entered into their fa-mily at a later age, a long period oftime may be needed, not withoutdifficulties. Later, when it is notedthat rekindling relationships withbiological figures may also benefitthe family balance, and when the-re is an express will on both sides,it is indispensable to provide spe-

cific support, including on site,which may facilitate the meetingand the subsequent develop-ments.

Is there a “right” time forchildren to return to theirhome country and search

for their biological family?They are different things that havedifferent maturation processes. Inany case, it is necessary that thewhole family has matured the de-sire to do so together. Returningto their country of origin allowschildren to “reconcile” their expe-riences and, supported by theiradoptive parents, develop theawareness of their identity. Thetrip allows the entire family to ex-

perience something importantthat seals everyone’s sense of be-longing to that country, becomingcommon heritage. Contact withunknown biological family mem-bers requires permission from au-thorities of the country involvedbut, in any case, it is essential thatadequate psychological support isprovided.

The AFNonlus organisationoffers seminars on the topicof origins. Where does this

need come from? The theme of origins falls withinwhat are known as SensitiveAdoption Issues. For a mother anda father, coexisting with “competi-tive” figures about which thechild could fantasize – in a positi-ve or negative manner – can bepainful, troubling and distressing.During the seminars, for examplethose that I coordinate in our Co-gnola (TN) office, participants areoffered insights beneficial to rela-ting to the experiences of biologi-cal parents and fostering theemergence of the inevitable fee-lings towards them, as well as apositive processing of the same.All this work directed at themsel-ves allows adoptive parents to de-al with the questions and feelingsof their adopted children in amuch more tranquil and confi-dent manner and to arrive muchmore prepared at their eventualreturn to the children’s country oforigin or the search for contactwith their biological family.

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“WHO KNEW WHAT EMOTIONSTHEIR GRANDMOTHER'S VISITWOULD HAVE ELICITED”

Their adoptive father took themto the office to show them his wor-kspace and looked for a small schoolfor them, so it would almost givethem the sense of a family. The tea-chers did their best to try to under-stand the girls, respecting their indi-vidual times to adapt. “At first Aurorawas afraid of being left in the cla-ssroom: I would find her by the door,crying and waiting for me with hercoat on – remembers the adoptive

mother –. Worried that I would notcome back.” Agnese, the youngest,began talking with the teacher onlyat the end of third grade. “Her pastexperiences pushed her to developan inner resilience, namely the capa-city to face the world alone, “ex-plains Daniela Lonano, AFNonlus

psychologist –. It was not easy forthe girl to let go when she met peo-ple who wanted to take care of her.She slowly began to talk and com-municate only when she finally feltsafe. At this point she was six yearsold.” Today the girls are teens loo-king to discover themselves, themeaning of their lives, to be accep-ted and loved. “A great opennessand a big commitment is necessaryto welcome a child with an early hi-story different than one’s own – re-flects their adoptive mother –. Butdespite the problems encountered, Iwould still make the choice toadopt”. The psychological supportreceived helped the parents andchildren to retrace their memoriesand confront the present. The mee-ting with the girls’ grandmother alsorequired preparation, because forthem this meant dealing with thepast and with their time of aban-donment. “One thing that providedthe children with a sense of serenity– explains Claudio –, has been ourcloseness and commitment as acouple. You have to dedicate time,debate, create a harmonious atmo-sphere in the home. Both parentsand children must be able to reco-gnise the emotions involved to ma-nage moments of discouragement,to understand each other and apo-logise.” Elisa admits: “At times it is Iwho have to recognise my mistakefor taking the wrong attitude.” It is indebating and accepting each otherthat parents and children confirmtheir mutual affection and build thesense of family. We are all travellers,like water flowing in search of thesea, the sea of love, infinitely large, ifwhich we must plunge fearlessly. J

The meeting with Marzia Rigliani,manager for International Adoptions,

Vilma Banyté, representative inLithuania and Daniela Lonano


A home for unaccompanied foreign minors

The “Casa di Ismaele”group home forunaccompaniedforeign minors wasopened in Rogliano(CS), coordinated bythe Fo.Co. soc. coop.,AFNonlus, Amu andMi.Fa. soc. coopassociations. Minorsare offered a family-focused andwelcomingenvironment to helpthem gain security

and confidence, withsupport in obtainingthe required

documentation andin their schoolingprocess. The main

purpose is to helpminors feel at homeand promote theirinclusion into thesocial fabric. To thisend, an educationalproject is developedfor each child, towhich the entire teamformed by a manager,a coordinator, apsychologist, twocultural mediatorsand specialisededucators contribute.

Saturday, September 23 thenew AFNonlus office in Napleswas officially opened. Theoffice aims to be a physicalspace from which to operateand activate new alliances tocomplete solidarity projectsand oversee the reality ofinternational adoptions for theCampania region. Theopening celebrations wereattended by many familiesand children, partners andauthorities, who expressedtheir closeness. Among these,Giovanna Ferraro who heads

the Nazareth Institute, theFerraro Foundation, the Gil 3and Gil 4 of the Naples 3 LocalHealth Enterprise, thePietraviva Onlus Association, inaddition to the Banco di NapoliFoundation, which has made itpossible to carry out 3 years ofthe “Heart Families” projectfocused on providingparenting support for adoptivefamilies and which in 2017,together with Meridonaremade it possible to organise alarge crowdfunding campaignon their online platform.

NEWS

AFNonlus in NaplesA new office for work carried out in the Campania region

ROGLIANO (COSENZA)

Up2MeProject:Weekend fortutorsLast September aweekend focused onsharing experiencesand updating skillswas held inLoppiano for tutorsof the Up2Meproject. 13 pairs oftutors from aroundthe world cametogether toexchangeexperiences and newdevelopments of theproject focused oncomprehensivetraining.Approximately 500children participatedin Up2Me, and 37courses were heldaround the world.

Meeting of theCommission ofInternationalAdoptionsAfter three years, theCommission ofInternationalAdoptions met againon September 12,2017. During themeeting, the need toverify the validity ofagreements withadoption countrieswas identified. Aseries of measures tosimplify the adoptionprocess are expected,including theintroduction of adigital dossier withdocuments relatingto the adoption, anda verification processof all authorisedentities.

byBarbara Pandolfi


THE ISLAND

by Giovanna PieroniSupport at a Distance Indonesia


OF GOLD

Giovanni's journey to Sumatra and the Sumber Harapan “Sourceof Hope” social centre


hose who are open tohope, hold in theirhand the key to facingdifficulties and buildinga better future. This isthe spirit within whichthe Sumber Harapan“Source of Hope” socialcentre – located in In-

donesia, in the so-called “Pacific ringof fire”, an area with a high risk of ear-thquakes – operates. Medan’s projecthas been supporting approximately145 children and families since Chri-stmas 2004, when a terrible tsunamiunleashed a tidal wave over 17 me-tres that destroyed the island's WestCoast (area which a year later was al-so the target of a strong earthquake).Since then, as in an extended family,various programmes have been laun-ched to support families who havelost everything, helping them asmuch as possible to rebuild their ho-mes and providing support to orpha-ned children or those who find them-selves in disadvantaged family condi-tions, thanks to contributions fromgenerous supporters. Among these,the family of Giovanni Bonfanti, a 22-year-old who studies economics andsocial sciences in Milan. For him, soli-darity was an opportunity for growthand discovery of different worlds andcultures. Last year, Giovanni’s desireto broaden his horizons and gain abetter understanding of Asia

brought him to travel and stay for 4months in Singapore, with stops inMedan at the Sumber Harapan Cen-tre. “It was a great honour and a giftto receive a visit from a supporterfrom Italy – stresses Faisa Francisco,coordinator of the Support at a Di-stance programme in Indonesia –.Giovanni quickly joined our staff tocollaborate in the various activitieswe organised for the Centre’s chil-dren. But the best moment was nodoubt the meeting between Giovan-

ni and Intan Theresia, the girl who heand his family have been supportingfor more than a decade. Today she isall grown up. She is also 22 years old.Despite coming from very differentworlds, not only geographically, thetwo youngsters found a lot of com-mon ground through their experien-ce of sharing and exchange, whichmade them able to give each othersomething of themselves”. Accompa-nied by a social worker, Giovanni visi-ted Intan’s home to learn about her

Sumber Harapan and the Support at a Distance

The “Source of Hope” social centrepromotes a culture of peace andsolidarity between people andfamilies of different religions, inthe spirit of a universalbrotherhood. Thanks to theSupport at a Distance programme,145 children and needy families in

Medan and Nias receive help,ranging from Catholic andProtestant to Muslim. Childrenbenefit from educationalprogrammes, receive schoolsupplies and basic necessities. Incase of emergencies, medicalcheck-ups are also offered.

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Support at a distance Indonesia[ ]


“IT WAS A GREAT HONOUR TORECEIVE A VISIT FROM ASUPPORTER FROM ITALY”family: “Her house is very poor. Evenpoorer than I thought it would be: asmall sheet metal hut, built by them,where the 4 children live with theirparents. Their father struggles to findwork. With a small sacrifice in my eve-ryday life, Intan was able to completeher studies and is now studying che-mistry at the local University. She ho-pes to be able to improve her fami-ly’s conditions. She is very grateful.”Giovanni also expressed a deep grati-tude: “I was struck by the hospitality

of the people I met, their unlimitedavailability to welcome me in theirhomes, to show me the city, to sharetheir culture, along with a pinch ofcuriosity about a foreigner from faraway. I had everything I needed, I waswelcomed as a family member, I feltat home. Speaking of Intan, I wasstruck by her innocence, the absenceof disillusionment and cynicism, thehope for the future and the desire totry to change her family’s current si-tuation. This visit brought me an im-mense inner happiness and a senseof peace”. Giovanni has many pro-jects in mind for the future, includingcontinuing his studies and returningone day in this part of the world whe-re together with poverty, he discove-red and experienced the preciou-sness of mind of the people of Suma-tra. A preciousness also enclosed inits ancient name, “Suvarna Dvipa”,which in Sanskrit means “Island ofgold”. Who knows, perhaps not justfor the mining work, but also for thehuman wealth of its people. J

Giovanni, Intan Theresia, herfamily and the children of

the Social Centre


AROUND THE WORLD

In the last two years,we have visited anumber of Supportat a Distanceprojects and lookedclosely at the realityof the slums of thecountries where we

were. We met people who devotetheir lives to thosewho are in need,men, women andchildren strugglingfor survival and whowith a smile

donated therichness of theirhumanity. To learn more pleasevisit thewww.afnonlus.orgsite.

Our travelsFace to face with our local representatives, the childrenwho attend our schools and the whole community

HONDUR

ASEL SA

LVADOR

MEXICO

GUATE

MALA

ARGENTINA

BRAZIL


LEBANON

JORDAN

CONGO-DRC

KENYA

PHILIPPINES

Coordinators of theSupport at a Distanceprogramme visiting as

part of the variousprojects aimed atconsolidating new

development strategiesfor children


Projects

With a backpack Worries and courage accompany the young migrants on the run

Working together by Anita Leonetti

17MARZO 2017 SPAZIO FAMIGLIA

on their shoulders arriving in Italy from painful situations and harrowing wars

backpack on theirshoulders, with fewobjects inside themand many emo-tions weighingthem down. It iswith this single pie-ce of baggage that

many young people arrive in Italy, af-ter a long and difficult journey. Theyget here lost, without a family to sup-port them. Europe is their redemption,the possibility of a new life. Welco-ming them and supporting them

though the integration process beco-mes a duty and a responsibility forthose who are on the right side of thesea. In January 2016, when the “Faresistema oltre l’accoglienza” (“Workingtogether beyond hospitality”) projectwas launched, the primary goal was toensure young migrants the opportu-nity to penetrate the social fabric,through assistance finding work andprofessional training courses. With anadded step. To support them, a net-work of families ready to open the do-ors of their homes to an unknown

piece of humanity has been createdand strengthened over time. Differentcultures coming together, with thedesire to participate in each other's li-fe. Since then, many steps forward ha-ve been taken. Some thirty familiesacross Italy have decided to join thenetwork, making it possible for theyouth to try out different work oppor-tunities or simply to spend their holi-days together. These families, however,are not left alone: the territorial nodes,reference points when it comes to mi-grant reception, are there to sup-

A


Projects Working together[ ]

port and accompany them in thisjourney. Today, there are about a do-zen such nodes scattered throughoutthe country, concerned with suppor-ting the families and the youth whorely on the network. One of the mostactive nodes is located in Florence, atthe AFNonlus branch office. “This ex-perience allowed me to see just howmany generous families open to re-ceiving migrants there are. – affirmsPaola who, together with her role asrepresentative for international adop-tions, has managed the Tuscany nodefor the past two years –. At the same ti-me, I also saw in many people a greatunpreparedness, prejudice and hosti-lity, driving me to want to do muchmore”. The first wall to break down re-lates to people’s indifference and pre-judice caused by misinformation andfear of something that is different. On-

ly by breaking down these mental bar-riers are people able to embrace thisimportant reception work. It is an all-encompassing experience, which do-es not finish with the end of the wor-king day. It is thus that Paola, with a bigheart, has followed the integration ofthe young migrants who arrived in Tu-scany. Among them, Tato Claude, a 22-year-old migrant from the Ivory Coast,who arrived in Florence at the end ofAugust with the opportunity to workas a grape picker. “From the first mo-ment I met him the airport I felt thatsomehow he relied and trusted me.He trusted me because I was part ofthat circle of people who have sup-ported him in the community of Cata-nia and established a beautiful bondwith him.” In addition to the search forliving accommodations and the rela-ted difficulties, Paola opened her ho-

me to this smiling young man. “I try tosupport him even in small everydaythings, like washing his clothes or so-metimes accompanying him to work.He has even developed a beautifulfriendship with my children.” Claudehas told them of his life, of his tiringjourney, the detention in Libya’scamps, of violence and of his final arri-val in Italy full of hope. “This experien-ce has gone beyond the boundariesof my job. I became fully involved andClaudio, as he likes to call himself now– perhaps as a reminder of his desireto belong to this new country – willforever remain in our hearts, whateverroad he may take in the future”. Thereception of migrants is made up ofthe many faces, smiles and arms thatslowly help to remove, one piece at atime, the full weight of that heavybackpack on their shoulders. J

Young migrants and thehost families, as part of the“Fare sistema” (“Working

together”) project

“THIS EXPERIENCE HAS GONE BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF MY JOB, I WAS FULLY

INVOLVED”

192017 SPAZIO FAMIGLIA

FAMILY HORIZON

A new start with the third national conference

The stronger the family...he stronger the family, thestronger the country” wasthe theme on which theentire Conference focusedits attention (September 28

and 29 at the Capitol in Rome),attended by severalrepresentatives of Azione perFamiglie Nuove Onlus and otherassociations working as part ofthe Forum of Family Associationsin different regions across Italy.The goal was to put the conceptof family at the centre of ourcountry's life and to achieve this,

we need the strong commitmentof institutions and of each andevery associative body. The needto move from social familyassistance to the establishment ofa pact of responsibility forcefullyemerged. The conference stressedthat family, in all its various forms,problems, hopes andopportunities, is the cornerstoneof our Republic, as articulated byPrime Minister Gentiloni. Acornerstone that requires a greatdeal of care and attention to

better achieve that inclusivegrowth process desired by thevarious political forces. We must allwork together with determinationto recognise, enhance andstrengthen the fundamental andprimal role of our society, familyconsidered a true asset, thecommon social and economicgood, starting from a more justtaxation system and renewededucational structure, withoutallowing the differences andcontradictions of contemporarysociety to hinder us. An importantmoment from which to restartwith determination to save ourcountry from a demographicimplosion. But a number ofquestions still remain unanswered.Now the real Conference begins!For additional information pleasevisit afnonlus.org/news

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The Conference wasproposed by theDepartment of FamilyPolicies

An opportunityto gain a betterunderstanding

of the situationof families in

Italy and futureprospects

by Paolo Perticaroli

afnonlus

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FROM AFNONLUSGO TO WWW.AFNONLUS.ORG/IDEE-SOLIDALI

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NO ONE IS BORN TO BE ALONE - afnonlus.org APPEAL Central Africa Republic Saint Claire School Complex...

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