Next to Normal Libretto

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Prelude. GABE: What are you doing up? It’s 3:30. DIANA: (sung) GABE: (spoken) It’s the seventh night this week I’ve sat ‘til morning. Great. Here we go. Imagining the ways you might have died. Ah, yes, and tonight’s winner is… In a freak September ice storm without warning… Because that happens. There’s a gang war; there’s a bird flu; trains collide. What did we say about watching the news? Now you act all sweet and surly But you swore you’d come home early, and you lied. You’ve got to let go, Mom. I’m almost eighteen. DIANA: (spoken) Are you snorting coke? GABE: Not at the moment. DAN: (offstage) Who’s up at this hour? DIANA: (to Gabe) Your father. Go. Up the back way. GABE: Why does he hate me? DIANA: Because you’re a little twat. GABE: You can’t call me a twat. (He leaves.) (Dan enters.) DAN: Everything okay? I heard voices. DIANA: Just me talking to myself, you know. Now you head on upstairs. I’ll be up for sex in a minute. DAN: Uh, are you sure you’re okay? DIANA: Go. Just Another Day. (sung) They’re the perfect loving family, so adoring And I love them everyday of every week So my son’s a little shit, my husband’s boring And my daughter, though a genius, is a freak Still I help them love each other Father, mother, sister, brother – cheek to cheek (Natalie enters and startles Diana.) DIANA: (spoken) Natalie! It’s four in the morning; is everything okay? NATALIE: Everything’s great. Why wouldn’t it be great? It’s great. I’ve just three more chapters of calculus, a physics problem, that history quiz, and two pages on floral imagery in “Flowers for Algernon”, which is, like… duh… everything’s so under control. It’s just, like, calm.

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Libretto of Next To NormalBook by Brian Yorkey

Transcript of Next to Normal Libretto

  • Prelude.GABE:Whatareyoudoingup?Its3:30.DIANA:(sung) GABE:(spoken)ItstheseventhnightthisweekIvesattilmorning. Great.Herewego.Imaginingthewaysyoumighthavedied. Ah,yes,andtonightswinnerisInafreakSeptembericestormwithoutwarning Becausethathappens.Theresagangwar;theresabirdflu;trainscollide. Whatdidwesayaboutwatchingthenews?NowyouactallsweetandsurlyButyousworeyoudcomehomeearly,andyoulied. Youvegottoletgo,Mom.Imalmosteighteen.DIANA:(spoken)Areyousnortingcoke?GABE:Notatthemoment.DAN:(offstage)Whosupatthishour?DIANA:(toGabe)Yourfather.Go.Upthebackway.GABE:Whydoeshehateme?DIANA:Becauseyourealittletwat.GABE:Youcantcallmeatwat.(Heleaves.)(Danenters.)DAN:Everythingokay?Iheardvoices.DIANA:Justmetalkingtomyself,youknow.Nowyouheadonupstairs.Illbeupforsexinaminute.DAN:Uh,areyousureyoureokay?DIANA:Go.JustAnotherDay.(sung)Theyretheperfectlovingfamily,soadoringAndIlovethemeverydayofeveryweekSomysonsalittleshit,myhusbandsboringAndmydaughter,thoughagenius,isafreakStillIhelpthemloveeachotherFather,mother,sister,brothercheektocheek(NatalieentersandstartlesDiana.)DIANA:(spoken)Natalie!Itsfourinthemorning;iseverythingokay?NATALIE:Everythingsgreat.Whywouldntitbegreat?Itsgreat.Ivejustthreemorechaptersofcalculus,aphysicsproblem,thathistoryquiz,andtwopagesonfloralimageryinFlowersforAlgernon,whichis,likeduheverythingssoundercontrol.Itsjust,like,calm.

  • DIANA:Honey,youneedtoslowdown.Takesometimeforyourself.Imgoingtohavesexwithyourfather.NATALIE:Great.Thanks.ImsogladIknowthat.(sung)SoitstimesliketheseIwonderhowItakeitAndifotherfamilieslivethewaywedoIftheyloveeachotheroriftheyjustfakeitAndifotherdaughtersfeellikeIfeel,tooCausesomedaysIthinkImdyingButImreallyonlytryingtogetthroughGABE:ForjustanotherdayForanotherstolenhourWhentheworldwillfeelmypowerandobey NATALIE:Itsjustanotherday ItsjustanotherdayFeelinglikeIllliveforever FeelinglikethisfeelingnevergoesawayForjustanotherday Forjustanotherday(DanandDianaenter.)DAN:Thatwasgreat,wasntit?Thatwasgreat.Christ,Imlate.DIANA:Well,thatllteachyoutotakeawholetenminutes.DAN:Sorry,what?DIANA:Isaid,isntitabeautifulday?DAN:Okay,sure.Imean,itscloudyandrainyandreallycoldforSeptember,butbeautiful.DIANA:Makesyouwannadiveinwithbothfeet,doesntit?(Sheleaves.)DAN:Absolutely.Ineverknowwhatshestalkingabout.(sung)WhenitsuptoyoutoholdyourhousetogetherAhouseyoubuiltwithpatienceandwithcareButyouregrapplingwiththatgrayandrainyweatherAndyourelivingonalatteanda DIANA:Prayer PrayerCanyoukeepthecupfromtipping? Canyoukeepthecupfromtipping? Canyoukeepyourgripfromslipping CanyoukeepyourgripfromslippingIndespair Indespair?Forjustanotherday ForjustanotherdayInthehustleandthehurryYouwanttowipeyourworriedpainaway

  • ALL:Forjustanotherday.DIANA:Iwillkeeptheplatesallspinning.DIANAandNATALIE:WithasmilesowhiteandwinningallthewayALL:Causewhatdoesn'tkillmedoesntkillmeSofillmeupforjustanotherday.GABE:ItonlyhurtswhenI'mhereALL:Bumbumbum.DIANA:(spoken)You'regoingtobelateandyouhaveahugeday.GABE:(spoken)YouhavenoideawhatIdoallday.DIANA:Jazzbandbeforeschool.Class.KeyClub.Thenfootball.GABE:Notbad.DIANA:Nowgetoutofhere.DIANA:(sung)Itonlyhurtswhenhegoes.ALL:(sung)Bumbumbum.GABE:(spoken,toNatalie)Goodmorning,Sunshine.NATALIE:(spoken,toDiana)So,Igotthedateformywinterrecital.Doyouthinkyouguyscancome?DIANA:Wellputitonthecalendar!NATALIE:Mom,thecalendarisstillonApriloflastyear.DIANA:Oh.Well,happyEaster.NATALIE:HappyEaster,Mom.DAN:Hi,sweetheart.NATALIE:Sheisonfirethismorning.DAN:Oh,Iknow.

  • NATALIE:Eww.(Sheleaves.)DAN:Hon,willyoudotheshoppingtoday?Imslammedatworkandwereoutofeverything.DIANA:Ikeepcaveclean,yougooutgetfire.DAN:Absolutely.Again,noclue.DIANA:(sung)ItonlyhurtswhenIbreatheDAN:(sung)ItonlyhurtswhenItryGABE:(sung)ItonlyhurtswhenIthinkNATALIE:(sung)ItonlyhurtswhenIcryDAN:ItonlyhurtswhenIworkGABE:ItonlyhurtswhenIplayNATALIE:ItonlyhurtswhenImoveALL:ItonlyhurtswhenIsayIt'sjustanotherdayGABE:WhenthemorningsunisshowingNATALIE:AndyouwishthatyouwererunningfarawayALL:ForjustanotherdayDIANA:EverydayisjustanotherandanotherIwillholditalltogetherWeretheperfectlovingfamilyIftheysaywerenotthenfuckemTheperfectlovingfamilyDAN:(spoken)Diana!DIANA:(sung)Iwillkeeptheplatesallspinning

  • Andtheworldjustkeepsonspinning(spoken)Ithinkthehouseisspinning.DAN:Diana,honey.NATALIE:DadDAN:(toNatalie)Dontworryaboutit.Goonahead,youllmissthebus.GABE:MomDIANA:Everythingsfine.Imjustmakingsandwiches.Onthefloor.Yougoonahead,youllmissthebus.DAN:Go.(GabeandNatalieleave.)DAN:Sweetie,everythingokay?DIANA:Iwantedtogetaheadonlunches.DAN:Sure.Letmehelpyouup.DIANA:GuessIgotcarriedaway.DAN:Maybealittle.LetsgoseeDocterFine.Thisisjustablip,okay?Nothingtoworryabout.Illwrapupthe,uh,sandwichesandthenwellgo.(Lightsfade.Bellrings.Natalieisseenplayingthepiano.)EverythingElse.NATALIE:(sung)MozartwascrazyFlatfuckingcrazyBadshit,IhearButhismusicsnotcrazyItsbalanced,itsnimbleItscrystallineclearTheresharmony,logicYoulistentotheseYoudonthearhisdoubtsorhisdebtsordiseaseYouscanthroughthescoreandputfingersonkeysAndyouplayAndeverythingelsegoesawayEverythingelsegoesawayAndyouplay'tilit'sperfectYouplay'tilyouacheYouplay'tilthestringsoryourfingernailsbreak

  • Soyou'llrockthatrecitalAndgetintoYaleSoyouwon'tfeelsosickAndyouwon'tlooksopale'Causeyou'vegotyourfullrideAndyourearlyadmitSoyou'redonewiththisschoolAndwithallofthisshitAndyougraduateearlyYou'regoneasofMayAndthere'snothingyourparanoidparentscansayAndyouknowthatit'sjustasonataawayAndyouplayAndyouplayAndeverythingelsegoesawayEverythingelsegoesawayEverything(Henryenters.)HENRY:(spoken)Soundsgood.NATALIE:Istillhavethispracticeroomforsevenandahalfminutes.HENRY:Yeah.Imean,Iknow,Ijustliketolisten.ImHenry.NATALIE:Natalie.HENRY:Yeah.Imean,Iknow.NATALIE:Itsalittlecreepythatyouknow.HENRY:Wevegonetoschooltogetherfor,like,sixyears.Isitbehindyouin,like,fourclasses.NATALIE:Alsocreepy.HENRY:Youreinherealot.Beforeschoolandafter.NATALIE:Right.Sevenminutes.(Henrygoestoleave.)Yougiveupwaytooeasily.HENRY:(Hestops.)Umm,yourekindofaconfusingperson.NATALIE:Youshouldmeetmymother.(ShebeginstoplayagainasHenrywatchesoverhershoulder.Lightsfade.)WhosCrazy?/MyPsychopharmacologistandI.DOCTORFINE:Thepinkonesaretakenwithfood,butnotwiththewhiteones.Thewhiteonesaretakenwiththeroundyellowonesbutnotthetriangleyellowones.Thetriangleyellowonesaretakenwiththeoblonggreenonewithfood,butnotwiththepinkones.IfatrainisleavingNewYorkat1:20andatrainisleavingSaintPetersburgatthesametimegoingbackwards

  • DAN:(sung)Whoscrazy,Thehusbandorwife?WhoscrazyTolivetheirwholelifeBelievingthatsomehowthingsarentasbizarreastheyare?Whoscrazy,Theonewhocantcope,Ormaybetheonewhollstillhope?Theonewhoseesdoctorsortheonewhojustwaitsinthecar?AndIwasawildtwentyfiveAndIlovedawifesoaliveButnowIbelieveIwouldsettleForonewhocandriveFINE:(spoken)Theroundblueoneswithfoodbutnotwiththeoblongwhiteones.Thewhiteoneswiththeroundyellowonesbutnotthetrapezoidalgreenones.SplitthegreenonesintothirdswithatinychiselDIANA:(sung)MypsychopharmacologistandIItslikeanoddromanceIntenseandveryintimateWedoourdanceMypsychopharmacologistandICallitaloversgameHeknowsmydeepestsecretsIknowhisnameAndthoughhellneverholdmeHellalwaystakemycallsItstrulylikehetoldmeWithoutalittleliftTheballerinafallsFINE:(spoken)Goodman,Diana.Bipolardepressivewithdelusionalepisodes.Sixteenyearhistoryofmedication,adjustmentafteroneweek.DIANA:(spoken)Ivegotlessanxiety,butIhaveheadaches,blurryvision,andIcantfeelmytoes.FINE:So,welltryagainandeventuallywellgetitright.DIANA:Notaveryexactscience,isit?NATALIE,GABE,HENRY,andDAN:(sung)ZoloftandPaxilandBusparandXanax,Depacon,Chronaphin,Ambien,ProzacAtivancalmsmewhenIseethebillsTheseareafewofmyfavoritepillsDIANA:(spoken)Oh!Thankyou,doctor.Valiumismyfavoritecolor.How'dyouknow?

  • NATALIE:(toHenry,whoissittingatthepiano)Itsjustthat,thethingwithjazzhowdoyouknowyougotitright.Itsjustmakingshitup.HENRY:Whichisalsoknownastheactofcreation.NATALIE:Oh,youreoneofthosepretentiousstonertypes.HENRY:Thatstotallyunfair.Imnotpretentious.(Helaughs.)Imdefinitelynotclassical.Itssorigidandstructured.Theresnoroomforimprovisation.YouhavetoplaythenotesonthepageNATALIE:Yeah,andwhatdidMozartknowanyway?HeshouldvejustsmokedabowlandjammedonTwinkle,Twinkle,LittleStar.HENRY:Yeah,letsdothat!(Lightsfade.)FINE:(spoken)Goodman,Diana:Secondadjustmentafterthreeweeks.Delusionslessfrequent,butdepressivestateworse.DIANA:(spoken)I'mnauseousandI'mconstipated;Ivecompletelylostmyappetiteandgainedsixpounds,which,youknow,isjustnotfair.NATALIE,GABE,HENRY,andDAN:(sung)Maycausethefollowingsideeffects,oneormoreDizziness,drowsiness,sexualdysfunction,Headachesandtremors,nightmaresandseizures,(),constipation,nervouslaughter,palpitations,Anxiousness,anger,exhaustion,insomnia,irritability,Nausea,vomitingDIANA:(sung)OddandalarmingsexualfeelingsNATALIE,GABE,HENRY,andDAN(sung):Oh,andonelastthingUsemaybefatal. FINE:(sung)Usemaybefatal. Usemaybefatal. FINE:(spoken)Goodman,Diana:Thirdadjustmentafterfiveweeks.Reportscontinue:mildanxietyandsomelingeringdepression.DIANA:(spoken)Inowcan'tfeelmyfingersormytoes.Isweatprofuselyfornoreason.NATALIE:(spoken)Ihavewasted,like,weeksofpracticewithyouhereimprovising.HENRY:(spoken)OscarPetersonwasclassicallytrained.NATALIE:Beethovendidcocaine.HENRY:MilesDaviswenttoJuilliard.NATALIE:Mozartwrotepoemsaboutfarts.DIANA:Fortunately,Ihaveabsolutelynodesireforsex.Although,whetherthat'sthemedicineorthemarriageisanybody'sguess.FINE:I'msureit'sthemedicine.

  • DIANA:Oh,thankyou.That'sverysweet,butmyhusband'swaitinginthecar.DAN:(sung)Who'scrazy,Theonewho'shalfgoneOrmaybetheonewhoholdsonRememberingwhenshewastwentyAndbrilliantandboldAndIwassoyoungandsodumbAndnowIamold DIANA:(sung)Andshewaswickedandwired AndthoughhellneverholdmeThesexwassimplyinspired HellalwaystakemycallsNowthere'snosex,she'sdepressed ItstrulylikehetoldmeAndme,I'mjusttired,tired,tired,tired WithoutalittlelifttheballerinafallsWhoscrazy MypsychopharmacologistandI...Theonewhosuncured ?Ormaybetheonewhosimplored WithoutyouIddieTheonewhohastreatment,ortheonewhojustdealswiththepain MypsychopharmacologistandI...DAN:Theysayloveisblind...Butbelieveme,loveisinsane.DR.MADDEN:(spoken)Goodman,Diana:Sevenweeks.DIANA:(spoken)Idon'tfeellikemyself.Imean,Idon'tfeelanything.DR.MADDEN:Hmm.Patientstable.(Lightsfade.LightsuponNatalieandHenry.Henryisholdingabong.)NATALIE:Yourmomis,like,inthenextroom.HENRY:Shesindenial.Itstotallyconvenient.(HetriestohandthebongtoNatalie.)Dude,itstherapeutic!NATALIE:Right.ItsmedicalmarijuanatotreatyourADD.HENRY:Totally.Huh?NATALIE:Idontputanythingintomymouththatsonfire.HENRY:Iguessthatsagoodrule.(HegoestokissNatalie.Shebacksaway.)NATALIE:Look,Icantdothis!Notwithmylife.Im,like,onefuckupfromdisaster.HENRY:Yourlifeisnotadisaster.Theenvironmentisadisaster.Sprintisadisaster.NATALIE:Yourestoned.HENRY:(sung)Ourplanetispoisoned

  • Theoceans,theairAroundandbeneathandaboveyouNATALIE:(sung)Umm,Henry,thatstrueAndItotallycareHENRY:ImtryingtotellyouIloveyouNATALIE:(spoken)What?!HENRY:(sung)TheworldisatwarfilledwithdeathanddiseaseWedanceontheedgeofdestructionTheglobe'sgettingwarmerbydeadlydegreesNATALIE:(sung)AndthisisonefuckedupseductionHENRY:ThisplanetisprettymuchbrokenbeyondallrepairButonethingisworkingifyou'restandingtherePerfectforyou,IcouldbeperfectforyouImightbelazy,aloner,abitofastoneritstrueButIcouldbeperfectforyou,perfectforyouYousquareallthecorners,IstraightenthecurvesNATALIE:Youvegotsomenerve,HenryAndImjustallnerveHENRY:ButevenifeverythingelseturnstodirtBOTH:WellbetheonethinginthisworldthatwonthurtHENRY:IcantfixwhatsfuckedupButonethingIknowIcandoIcanbeperfectforyouNATALIE:IcanbeperfectforyouBOTH:Perfectforyou(Theykiss.LightsuponDianawatching.)HENRY:(spoken)Nicehouse.CanIcomein?

  • NATALIE:(spoken)Oh,no.HENRY:Okay.(GabeenterswhereDianasits.)GABE:Areyouspyingonyourowndaughter?DIANA:Whendidshegetaboyfriend?HowdidImissthis?GABE:Well,youkindofmissalot.DIANA:Doyouthinktheyreinlove?GABE:Whoknows?Theyreyoung.Theyrehorny.Ithappens.(Heleaves.)(Danenters.)DAN:Marryme!DIANA:What?DAN:Marryme.Letshaveafamily.Iknowweretooyoung,butwerenot.Imalmost22,andhowdoyouknowthisisntasignsayingwebelongtogether?DIANA:Howdoyouknowitsnotasignsayinggetnewrubbers?DAN:BecauseIknowitsnot.Iloveyouandthisbaby!DIANA:Dan.Thisiscrazy.DAN:Maybeitis.(Heleaves.)IMisstheMountains.DIANA:(sung)TherewasatimewhenIflewhigherWasatimethewildgirlrunningfreeWouldbemeNowIseeherfeelthefireNowIknowsheneedsmetheretoshareImnowhereAlltheseblankandtranquilyearsSeemstheyvedriedupallmytearsAndwhilesherunsfreeandfastSeemsmywilddaysarepastButImissthemountainsImissthedizzyheightsAllthemanic,magicdaysAndthedark,depressingnights

  • ImissthemountainsImissthehighsandlowsAlltheclimbing,allthefallingAllthewhilethewildwindblowsStingingyouwithsnowAndsoakingyouwithrainImissthemountainsImissthepainMountainsmakeyoucrazyHereit'ssafeandsoundMymindissomewherehazyMyfeetareonthegroundEverythingisbalancedhereAndonanevenkeelEverythingisperfectNothing'srealNothing'srealAndImissthemountainsImisslowlyclimbWanderingthroughthewildernessAndspendingallmytimeWheretheairisclearandcutsyoulikeaknifeImissthemountainsI,ImissthemountainsImissmylifeImissmylife(Sheendsthesonghavingpouredallofhermedicationintothegarbagecan.Gabeenters.)GABE:(spoken)Areyousureaboutthis,Mom?DIANA:(spoken)Doyouthinkitsabadidea?GABE:Ithinkitsagreatidea.Ithinkyourebrave.DIANA:Whatwillyourfatherthink?GABE:Nothing.Hedoesntknow.(Theyleave.LightsuponDan.)ItsGonnaBeGood.DAN: CHORUS:Itsgonnabegood Good,goodItsgonnabegood Good,goodItsgonnabegood GOOD,goodItsgonnabegood UhhuhItsgonnabegood MmmmmmTwoweeksanditsallworkingJustthewayIknewitwould

  • AndIdon'tsitandwork CHORUS:Justwaitingforthephonetoring RingItsagood,good,good,goodthing Itsagood,good,good,goodthingCHORUS:Ring,ringDIANA:(spoken)Hello?Oh!Hi,sweetie!Everythingsgreatherefantastic!Idisinfectedtheentirehouse,rewiredthecomputeranddidsomedecoupage.Okay,byebye.(Shehangsup.)Hmmnext,IthinkI'llretiletheroof.DAN:(sung) CHORUS:(sung)Itsgonnagreat GreatItsgonnagreat FuckinggreatThesexisstillamazingAndwedon'tstayupthatlateIt'salmostbeenamonth OoooAndshe'shappyasaclam HappyasaclamDoIlookgreat?Iam!NATALIE:(spoken)Idinviteyouin,butitstoosoon.HENRY:(spoken)We'vebeengoingoutfornineweeksandthreedays.Don'tIgettomeetyourfamily?NATALIE:Youkeepcount?You'resothegirl.Andno.DAN:(spoken)Natalie.AndthismustbeHarry.GABE:ItsHenry.DAN:Pleasuretofinallymeetyou.Comein.Whydon'tyoucomeinandjoinusfordinner?NATALIE:Umm,Dad,Henrycan'treallystay.He'sgotuhDAN:(sung)It'sgonnabegoodNATALIE:(spoken)Homework!DAN:ItsgonnabegoodNATALIE:(spoken)Surgery!DAN:We'llsitrightdowntogetherlikeahappyfamilyshouldNATALIE:(spoken)Rabies!DAN:We'lleatandtalkandlaughandjokeMypridemybroodandmeIt'sgonnabegoodyou'llsee

  • ALL:(sung)We'llsmileandchatAndjustlikethatIt'llallmeallokayItsgonnabegreatItsgonnabegreatItsgonnabegonnabegonnabeGreatthatwayItsgonnabegoodItsgonnagoodWe'llsitrightdowntogetherjustlikeafamilyshouldAndeatandtalkandlaughandjokemyfamilyandmeItsgonnabegoodgonnabegoodGonnabegonnabegonnabegonnabegonnabeGoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodGonnabegood,gonnabegoodGonnabegoodyou'llsee.DIANA:(spoken)Okay,it'ssomeone'sbirthday!HENRY:(spoken)Whosebirthdayisit?NATALIE:(spoken)Mybrothers.HENRY:Ididntknowyouhadabrother.NATALIE:Idont.HediedbeforeIwasborn.HesNotHere.(DanwalkstowardDianawhoisholdingalitbirthdaycake.)DIANA:What?Whatisit?DAN:(sung)HesnothereHesnothereLove,IknowyouknowDoyoufeelhesstillreal?Love,itsjustnotsoWhyisityoustillbelieve?Doyoudreamordoyougrieve?YouvegottolethimgoHesbeendeadsixteenyearsNo,mylove,hesnothere.NATALIE:(spoken)Thisisfucked.DAN:(spoken)Language.NATALIE:Fuckthis!(Sherunsupstairs.)

  • HENRY:Itwaswonderfultomeetyouboth.(Herunsupstairs.)DAN:Whataboutthenewmeds?DIANA:Wehavethehappiestseptictankontheblock.DAN:Jesus,Ditheywereworking.DIANA:Theywerentreally.DAN:Wellgetanewround.WellcallDoctorFineDIANA:NO!DAN:Diana,look,Iknowthisishard.YouDontKnow/IAmtheOne.DIANA:Doyouknow?Really?Whatexactlydoyouknow?DAN:Iknowthatyourehurting.Imhurting,too.DIANA:(sung)DoyouwakeupinthemorningAndneedhelptoliftyourhead?DoyoureadobituariesAndfeeljealousofthedead?ItslikelivingonacliffsideNotknowingwhenyoulldiveDoyouknow,doyouknowWhatitsliketodiealive?WhenaworldthatoncehadcolorFadestowhiteandgreyandblackWhentomorrowterrifiesyouButyoulldieifyoulookbackYoudontknowIknowyoudontknowYousaythatyourehurtingItsuredoesntshowYoudontknowItlaysmesolowWhenyousayletgoAndIsayyoudontknowThesensationthatyou'rescreamingButyounevermakeasoundOrthefeelingthatyou'refallingButyouneverhitthegroundItjustkeepsonrushingatyouDaybydaybydaybydayYoudon'tknow,youdon'tknow

  • Whatit'sliketolivethatwayLikearefugee,afugitiveForeverontherunIfitgetsmeitwillkillmeButIdon'tknowwhatI'vedoneDAN:(sung)CanyoutellmeWhatitisyoureafraidof?CanyoutellmewhyImafraiditsme?CanItouchyou?WevebeenfineforsolongnowHowcansomethinggowrongthatIcantsee?CauseI'mholdingonAndIwon'tletgoIjustthoughtyoushouldknowIamtheonewhoknowsyouIamtheonewhocaresIamtheonewho'salwaysbeenthereIamtheonewho'shelpedyouAndifyouthinkthatIjustdon'tgiveadamnThenyoujustdon'tknowwhoIamCouldyouleaveme? GABE:(sung) HeyDad,itsmeCouldyouletmegounder? Whycantyousee?WillyouwatchasIdrownAndwonderwhy? AndwonderwhyAreyoubleeding? Areyouwaiting?

    Areyouwishing?Areyouwantingallthatshecan'tgive?

    Areyoubruised?Areyoubroken? Areyouhurting? Areyouhealing? Areyouhopingforalifetolive?DoesithelpyoutoknowWell,soamI? Well,soamI!Tellmewhattodo LookatmeTellmewhotobe LookatmeSoIcanseeWhatyousee AndyoullseeIamtheonewhoholdsyou IamIamtheoneWhowontwalkaway Iwontwalkaway

  • Yeah,yeah,yeahIamtheonewhollhearyou IamAndnowyoutellmeThatIwontgiveadamn YoudogiveadamnButIknowyouknowwhoIam WhoIamYeah,yeah,yeah,yeah Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeahThatswhoIam IamYeah,yeah,yeah,yeah Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeahThatswhoIam IamYeah,yeah,yeah,yeah Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeahThatswhoIamCauseImholdingon DIANA:(sung) YousayyouhurtlikemeAndIwontletgo YousaythatyouknowDAN:(sung) GABE:(sung)Yeah,Ithoughyoushouldknow Yeah,Ithoughtyoushouldknow Youdontknow IknowyoudontknowIamtheonewhoknowsyou IamtheonewhoknowsyouIamtheonewhocares IamtheonewhocaresIamtheonewhosalwaysbeenthere Yousaythatyourehurting Iamtheonewhosalwaysbeenthere IknowitaintsoYeah,yeah,yeah Youdontknow Yeah,yeah,yeahIamtheonewhoneedsyou IamtheonewhoneedsyouAndnowyouthinkthatIjust Whydontyoujustgo? AndnowyouthinkthatIjustDontgiveadamn Pleasego Dontgiveadamn AndImsayingThenyoujustdontknowwhoIam YoudontknowWhoIam YoudontknowWhoIam YoujustdontknowwhoIam(Lightsfade.LightsuponNatalieandHenry.)NATALIE:(spoken)Whenshegetslikethis,shesuseless.Shecantusethephone,cantdrive.HENRY:(spoken)Ibetshesgotgreatpills.Imean,notthatIdgothere.Thatshitsinorganic.NATALIE:Andtotallyineffective,apparently.HENRY:Imoldschooldyingbreed.AllthepreppiesandthejocksareraidingtheirparentsmedicinecabinetsandpoppingXanexandsnortingAdderall.NATALIE:Really?HENRY:Believeme.Imthemasterofmakingapipeoutofanapple.(Hehandsherhishomemadebong.)NATALIE:Yeah,youretheMcGiverofpot.Youpromisethisllhelp?

  • HENRY:No.Why?SuperboyandtheInvisibleGirl.NATALIE:(sung)SuperboyandtheInvisibleGirlSonofsteelanddaughterofairHesahero,alover,aprinceShesnotthereSuperboyandtheInvisibleGirlEverythingakidoughttabeHesimmortal,foreveraliveThentheresmeIwishIcouldflyAndmagicallyappearanddisappearIwishIcouldflyIdflyfarawayfromhere(Dianaenters.Natalieturnstofaceher.)SuperboyandtheInvisibleGirlHestheoneyouwishwouldappearHesyourhero,foreveryoursonHesnothereIamhere(Gabeenters.)DIANA:(sung)YouknowthatsnottrueYoureourlittleprideandjoyOurperfectplanYouknowIloveyouIloveyouasmuchasIcan(NatalieturnsawayfromDianatofaceHenry.Dianaleaves.)NATALIE:TakealookattheinvisiblegirlHeresheis,clearasthedayPleaselookcloselyandfindherbeforeShefadesaway GABE:(sung)Superboyandtheinvisiblegirl SuperboyandtheinvisiblegirlSonofsteelanddaughterofair SonofsteelanddaughterofairHesahero,alover,aprince Hesahero,alover,aprinceShesnotthere ShesnotthereShesnotthere ShesnotthereShesnotthere ShesnotthereShesnotthere Shesnotthere

  • (Lightsfade.LightsuponDianaandDan.)DAN:(spoken)Letsnotgetdiscouraged.Wellfindyouadoctorwholltreatyouwithoutthedrugs.Theressomeoneoutthereforyou.Inthedepressionchatrooms,theysayitslikedating.Youhavetokeepgoinguntilyoufindtherightmatch.DIANA:(spoken)Theyhavedepressionchatrooms?DAN:Andthisdoctorssupposedtobefantasticarealrockstar.Threedifferentwomenatworkgavemehisname.DIANA:ThreewomenatworkknowImnuts?DAN:Uh.(Hechangesthesubjectbyleadingherintothedoctorsoffice.)Ah!DOCTORMADDEN:Diana,thisway,please.(sunglikearockstar)YEAH!DIANA:Whatdidyoujustsay?MADDEN:(spoken,normal)Isaidwelcome.Haveaseat.Itsnicetomeetyou.(sunglikearockstar)Letsgetitonnow,baby!DIANA:Excuseme,what?MADDEN:(spoken,normal)Isaid,Letsgetstarted.Areyounervous,Diana?DIANA:Iamalittle.Abitoutofbreath.Tingly,actually.Nowyougo.MADDEN:Letsstartbygettingtoknoweachotherabit.Psychotherapyandmedicationworkbestintandem,butwecantrythefirstalongandseehowfarweget.Whydontyoutellme(sunglikearockstar)Baby,whatsyourhistory?Wheredyougoandwhodyousee?Yeah!DIANA:Ummmyhistory?Well,Iwasdiagnosedbipolarwowsixteenyearsago.Only,itturnedoutbipolardidnttotallycoverit.MADDEN:(spoken,normal)Well,oftenthebestthatwecandoisputnamesoncollectionsofsymptoms.Itspossiblebipolarhasmoreincommonwithschizophreniathandepression.DIANA:WhenIwasyoung,mymothercalledmehighspirited.Shewouldknow.ShewassohighspiritedtheybandherfromthePTA.MADDEN:Well,sometimestheresapredispositiontoillness,butactualonsetisonlytriggeredbysometraumaticevent.DIANA:IneverknowwhattosaywhenIhavetogooverallofthis.ItstartstosoundlikesomestoryItellaboutsomeotherpersonentirely.

  • MADDEN:Whydontyoutellmeaboutthelasttimethatyoutrulyfelthappy.DIANA:Oh.MADDEN:Wereyouhappywhenyougotmarried?DIANA:IthoughtIwas.MADDEN:Theresadifferencebetweenbeinghappyandjustthinkingyourehappy?DIANA:Mostpeoplewhothinktheyrehappyjusthaventthoughtaboutitenough.Mostpeoplewhothinktheyrehappyareactuallyjuststupid.MADDEN:Isee.Wereyouhappywhenyoursonwasborn?DIANA:Myson?ImAlive.MADDEN:Tellmeabouthim.DIANA:Aboutmyson?MADDEN:Whyishestillaround?Whoishe?Whatishe?(LightsuponGabe.)GABE:(sung)IamwhatyouwantmetobeAndI'myourworstfear,you'llfinditinmeComecloserComecloserMADDEN:(spoken)Wheredoeshecomefromeven?GABE:(sung)Iammorethanmemory,IamwhatmightbeIammysteryYouknowmeSoshowmeWhenIappearit'snotsoclearIfI'masimplespiritorI'mfleshandbloodButI'malive,I'malive,IamsoaliveAndIfeedonthefearthat'sbehindyoureyesAndIneedyoutoneedme,it'snosurpriseI'malive,soaliveI'maliveNATALIE:(spoken)Fourtimesaweek?Thatsalot,isntit?DAN:(spoken)Thatswhatthedoctorrecommended.

  • NATALIE:Thisisnevergoingtogetbetter,isit?Hesnevergoingaway.DAN:Idontknow,Natalie.NATALIE:Thisisoneofthosemomentswhenyoucouldjustbeatypicalparentandlieandsayyes.DAN:Yes.NATALIE:Thanks.Thatscomforting.(Sherunsupstairs.)GABE:(sung)IamflameandIamfireIamdestruction,decay,anddesireI'llhurtyouI'llhealyouDAN:(spoken)Youknow,Natalie,itsnotallaboutyourcomfort.(Hefollowsherupthestairs.)GABE:(sung)I'myourwish,yourdreamcometrueAndIamyourdarkestnightmaretooI'veshownyouDAN:(spoken)Itsabouthelpingyourmother.GABE:(sung)IownyouNATALIE:(spoken)Asalways!(Danleaves.)GABE:(sung)Andthoughyoumademe,youcan'tchangemeI'mtheperfectstrangerwhoknowsyoutoowellAndI'malive,I'maliveIamsoaliveAndI'lltellyouthetruthifyouletmetryYou'realive,I'malive,andI'llshowyouwhyI'malive,soaliveImaliveNATALIE:(spoken)Xanex.(SheisdiggingthroughDianaspillbottles.Shetakesabottle.)Whatthehell!GABE:(sung)ImaliveI'mrightbehindyouYousayforgetbutI'llremindyouYoucantrytohidebutyouknowthatIwillfindyou'Causeifyouwon'tgrieveme,youwon'tleavemebehindOh,oh,ohMADDEN:Yousayheseighteennow.Isntthatwhenkidsmoveout?Isntittimetolethimgo?

  • GABE:(sung)No,no,noI'malive,I'malive,IamsoaliveIfyouclimbonmybackthenwebothcanflyIfyoutrytodenyme,I'llneverdieI'malive,soaliveI'maliveYeah,yeahI'maliveI'maliveI'maliveI'malive(Lightsfade.LightsuponDianaandDoctorMadden.)MADDEN:(spoken)Itsbeenfourweeks,andIdliketotrysomethingnewtoday.Sometimeswhenthesestoriesarehardtotell,hypnosiscanbehelpful.MakeUpYourMind/CatchMeImFalling.DIANA:Oh,IdontthinkIcouldbehypnotized.Imean,itsfine.ItsjustImnotthetype.MADDEN:Putyourfeetonthefloor.Putyourhandsinyourlapandbreathe.(sung)WalkwithmeWalkwithmeGoallthewaydownDownalongflightofstairsDIANA:(spoken)Stairs.MADDEN:(sung)GostepbystepintothedarknessdownthereDIANA:(spoken)Shouldweturnonalight?Youknow,withthestairs?MADDEN:(sung)WalkwithmeDownahallAhallthatyouknowAttheendtheresadoorItsadoorthatyouveneverlaideyesonbeforeOpenthedoorOpenthedoor(spoken)Canyouhearme,Diana?DIANA:(spoken)Yes.MADDEN:Areyounervous?DIANA:No.

  • MADDEN:Good.Now(sung)MakeupyourmindtoexploreyourselfMakeupyourmind,youhavestoriestotellWellsearchinyourpastforwhatsorrowsmaylastThenmakeupyourmindtobewellDAN:(spoken)Di,youcomehomefromthesesessionsintears.IsthishelpingorDi?Di?DIANA:(spoken)Wewerebothundergradsarchitecture.Thebabywasntplanned,neitherwasthemarriage.Ihadalwaysexpectedtobetoobusy,butwhenthebabycame,itallseemedtomakesenseuntiluntilMADDEN:Until?DAN:(sung)HesnothereHesnothereLove,IknowDAN,GABE,NATALIE,HENRY:(sung)YouknowMADDEN:(sung)MakeupyourmindthatyourestrongenoughMakeupyourmind,letthetruthberevealedAdmitwhatyouvelostandlivewiththecostAttimesitdoeshurttobehealedGABE:(sung)Catchme,Imfalling GABE:(sung)MADDEN:(spoken)Inourfirstsession,youtoldme... Catchme,Imfallingthattalkingthroughyourhistory FasterthananyoneshouldDIANA:(sung)Catchme,Imfalling Catchme,ImfallingMADDEN:(spoken)feelslikeitsaboutsomeoneelse.DIANA: GABE:Pleasehearmecalling PleasehearmecallingMADDEN:(spoken)Makeitaboutyou.DIANA: GABE:Catchme,Imfallingforgood Catchme,ImfallingforgoodHENRY:(spoken)Hey,Imnotsupposedtobebackstage,butIthought(heholdsoutflowers)forluck.NATALIE:Didyouseemyparentsoutthere?HENRY:Um,areyouokay?

    Evan Michael Woods

  • NATALIE:Imfine.Mydadsaidtheydbothbehere.HENRY:ThenImsuretheywillbe.NATALIE:Willthey?DIANA:WehadNatalietoandIknowsheknows.Icouldntholdherinthehospital.NATALIE:Wherethehellarethey?DIANA:Icouldntletmyselfholdher.MADDEN:ThatsthefirsttimeyouvementionedNatalieinweeksoftherapy.NATALIE:Goddammit!(sung)Shesnotthere!NATALIEandGABE:(sung)Shesnotthere!NATALIE,GABE,andHENRY:(sung)Shesnotthere!MADDEN:(sung)Makeupyourmind,youwantclarityTakewhatyouknowandthenmakeitmakesenseJustfacewhatyoufearandsoonitcomesclearThevisionsarejustyourdefenseNATALIE:(spoken)Umm,thankyouforcoming.NatalieGoodman.(Shesitstoplaythepiano.Shebegins,messesup.)MADDEN:(spoken)Letstrytounderstandwhatthisisdoingtoyouandyourfamily.NATALIE:(Sheplays,messesupagain.)Fuck.MADDEN:Yourgriefforyourson.YourdistancefromNatalie.NATALIE:Imsorry.Ijustthethingis,Iyouknowwhattheproblemwithclassicalis?Itssorigidandstructured.Youhavetoplaythenotesonapage!Theresnoroomforimprovisation!HENRY:Oh,noNATALIE:(sung) DIANA:(sung) MADDEN:(sung)Takealook,takealook Falling MakeupyourmindtobefreeatlastFalling Falling MakeupyourmindtobetrulyaliveFalling MakeupyourmindtosurviveNATALIE,DIANA,GABE,andDAN:(sung)Catchme,Imfalling

  • MADDEN:(spoken)Unresolvedlosscanleadtodepression.NATALIE,DIANA,GABE,andDAN:(sung)Catchme,ImfallingMADDEN:(spoken)Andfearoflosstoanxiety.NATALIE,DIANA,GABE,andDAN:(sung)FlyingheadfirstintofateMADDEN:(spoken)Themoreyouholdtosomethingyou'velost,themoreyoufearlosingit.NATALIE,DIANA,GABE,andDAN:(sung)Catchme,ImfallingPleasehearmecallingMADDEN:(spoken)Depression,anxietyNATALIE,GABE,andDAN:(sung)CatchmebeforeitstoolateMADDEN:(spoken)Depression,anxietyonegivesrisetotheother.NATALIE,GABE,andDAN:(sung)CatchmebeforeitstoolateMADDEN:(spoken)Itbecomesacycle.NATALIE,GABE,andDAN:(sung)Catchme,ImfallingCatchme,ImfallingCatchme,ImfallingMADDEN:(spoken)Wouldntyouliketobefreefromallofthat,finally?Wouldntyouliketogohomeandclearouthisroom,spendsometimewithyourdaughterandletyoursongoatlast?HENRY:(spoken)Uh,shouldwego?DIANAandNATALIE:(spoken)Yes.GABE:(spoken)Mom.DIANA:Yes,Iwould.(Gabeleaves.Maddenleaves.LightsfadeonHenryandNatalie.Danentersholdingacardboardpackingbox.)DAN:Thisisgood,Di.Itsagoodstep.(Heleaves.)IDreamedaDance.(Dianasits,beginssortingthroughthebox.Shepullsoutawoodenmusicboxandopensit.Musicplays.Shehumsalong.)DIANA:(sung)

  • IsawyoulighttheballroomWithyoursparklingeyessoblueGracefulasanangel'swingIdreamedadancewithyou(Gabeentersinawhitetuxedo.)Youwhisperedslyly,softlyYoutoldmeyouwouldbetrueWespunaroundathousandstarsIdreamedadancewithyou(Theybegindancing.)IknowthenightisdyingdearIknowthedaywilldawnDIANAandGABE:ThedancersmaydisappearStillthedancegoesonGABE:AndonDIANA:I'llwakealonetomorrowThedreamofourdanceisthroughButnowuntilforeverloveI'lllivetodancewithyouI'lldreammyloveI'lllivemyloveAndI'lldietodancewithTheresaWorld.GABE:(sung)There'saworld,there'saworldIknowAplacewecangowherethepainwillgoawayThere'saworldwherethesunshineseachdayThere'saworld,there'saworldoutthereI'llshowyoujustwhereAndintimeIknowyou'llseeThere'saworldwherewecanbefreeComewithme(Gabereachesforherhand;shetakesit.)MADDEN:(spoken)Goodman,Diana.GABE:(sung)Comewithme

  • MADDEN:(spoken)Discoveredunconsciousathome.GABE:(sung)There'saworldwherewecanbefreeMADDEN:(spoken)Multiplerazorwoundstowristsandforearms.Selfinflicted.GABE:(sung)ComewithmeMADDEN:(spoken)Saline,sutures,gauze,IVantibiotics.Isolated,sedatedandrestrained.Damnit.ECTisindicated.DAN:(spoken)Wow.Imean,thiscandothat?MADDEN:Wedo.Yes.Itsthestandardincaseslikethis.Shesgotalonghistoryofdrugtherapyandresistance.Shesacutelysuicidal.Itsreallyourbestoption.DAN:Well,thatskindofterrifying.MADDEN:Itsnot.Theelectricityinvolvedisbarelyenoughtolightaonehundredwattbulb.DAN:Oh.Justahundredwattbulb.MADDEN:Itssaferthancrossingthestreet,andtheshorttermsuccessrateisovereightypercent.DAN:Ithoughtshewasbetter.MADDEN:Sometimes,patientsrecoverjustenoughstrengthtofollowthroughonsuicidalimpulses,butnotenoughstrengthtoresistthem.DAN:Well,thatseemsveryfucked.MADDEN:Yes.Legallyweneedherconsent.Hospitalpolicyisweneedyours,too.(HehandsDanaclipboard.)DAN:Idontthinkshesgonnagoforthis.MADDEN:Mr.Goodman,wecanadministertheECT,andyoucanbringherhomeintendaysorwecankeephersedatedforfortyeighthours,dischargeherandwaitforhertotryagain.Look,gohome.Takethenight.Talktoherinthemorning.(Heleaves.)IveBeen.DAN:(sung)Standinginthisroom,Well,IwonderwhatcomesnowIknowIhavetohelpherButhellifIknowhowAndallthetimesthatI'vebeentoldThewayherillnessgoesThetruthofitisnoonereallyknowsAndeverydaythisactweactgetsmoreandmoreabsurdAndallmyfearsjustsitinsideme,screamingtobeheardIknowtheywon't,though,notasingleword

  • IwashereathersideWhenshecalled,whenshecried.Howcouldsheleavemeonmyown?Willitwork,thiscure?There'snowaytobesureButI'mwearytotheboneAndwhenevershegoesflyingIkeepmyfeetrightonthegroundOhnowIneedaliftAndthere'snoonearound(Hecleansthebloodoffofthefurniture.)HeyGABE:(sung)HeyBOTH:(sung)OhOhDAN:AndIveneverhadtofacetheworldwithoutherbymysideNowI'mstrollingrightbesideherastheblackholeopenswideMineisjustaslowersuicideI'vebeenherfortheshowEveryhigh,everylowButit'stheworstwe'veeverknownShe'sbeenhurtandhowButIcan'tgiveupnow'CauseI'veneverbeenalone(Natalieenters.)IcouldneverbealoneNATALIE:(spoken)Dad,whydidntyoutakemewithyou?DAN:(spoken)Youknow,wedontseemuchofyouthesedays.IsthisHenryagoodinfluence?NATALIE:Like,comparedtowhat?DAN:Okay,thatsagoodpoint.(LightsuponDoctorMadden,Diana,andGabe.Dianaislyingonahospitalbed.)MADDEN:Theaftereffectsareminimal.Youllfeelabitlikeyouhaveahangover.

  • GABE:Mom,dontletthemdothis.Itcausesbraindamage.DAN:Yourmothersinforanewtreatment.ECT.NATALIE:OkayL,M,N,O,P.Whatisthat?Idontknow.DAN:Electroconvulsivetherapy.Shocktherapy.MADDEN:Aminorityofpatientsreportsomememoryloss,butitsusuallynotmuchmemory.GABE:Howcanyouknowhowmuchmemoryyouvelostifyouvelostit?NATALIE:Yourekidding,right?Dad,thatsbullshit!DAN:Language.MADDEN:Patientshavesaiditslikebecominganewperson.NATALIE:Itsbullshit!Shetrustsyou!DAN:Natalie!(LightsfadeonNatalieandDan.)DidntISeeThisMovie?.DIANA:(sung)Didn'tIseethismovie,withMcMurphyandthenurse?Thathospitalwasheavy,butthiscuckoo'snestisworse.Isn'tthistheonewhereintheendthegoodguysfry?Didn'tIseethismovie,anddidn'tIcry?Didn'tIcry?MADDEN:(spoken)Themodernprocedurescleanandsimplehundredsofthousandsofpatientsreceiveiteveryyear.DIANA:(sung)WhatmakesyouthinkI'dlosemymindforyou?I'mnosociopath,I'mnoSylviaPlathIain'tnoFrancisFarmer,Idon'tfightforyouSostayoutofmybrainI'mnoprincessofpainDidn'tIseethismovie,wherethedoctorlookedlikeyouWherethepatientgotimpatientandsaid,"Sorry,doc,I'mthrough?"Iknowwherethisisgoing,andIknowwhatyou'reaboutCauseIhaveseenthismovieandIwalkedoutIwalkedoutI'mwalking...(Dianagoestoleave.Danenters.Shestops.HetakestheclipboardfromDoctorMadden.DoctorMaddenleaves.)ALightIntheDark.

  • DAN:(sung)OnelightshinesinthedriveOnesinglesignthatourhouseisaliveOurhouse,ourownSowhydoIlovetherealone?TellmewhyIwaitthroughthenightAndwhydoIleaveonthelightYouknow,IknowOurhousewasahomelongagoTakethischancecauseitmaybeourlastTobefree,toletgoofthepastAndtotrytobehusbandandwifeToletloveneverdieortojustlivesourlivesTakemyhandandletmetakeyourheartKeepyoufarfromwhatkeepsusapartLetusstartwithalightinthedark(Hereachesforherhand.Shetakesit.)NightfallsIstareatthewalls DIANA:(sung)IstareatthesewallsIwakeandwanderthehalls IgetlostinthesehallsAndIachetotheboneDIANA:It'slikenothingI'veknownBOTH:Ican'tgetthroughthisaloneDAN:Takethischanceandwe'llmakeanewstartSomewherefarfromwhatkeepsusapartAndIswearthatsomewhereinthenightThere'salight(Dianatakestheclipboardandsignsit.)Alightinthedark(Theykiss.DoctorMaddencomesinandtakestheclipboardastheykissandthenwheelsheraway.Lightsfade.)EndofActI.ACTII.(LightsuponNatalieandHenry.)NATALIE:(spoken)Comeon!Thisismyfavoriteclub!Letsgo!

  • HENRY:Hey,isntthreeclubsalittlemuchforaTuesdaynightWednesdaymorning?NATALIE:Oh,comeon.Theyreplayingmyfavoritesong!HENRY:Theyreallyourfavoritesong.Whatareyouon?NATALIE:Adderall,Xanex,aValium,andRobitussen.HENRY:Whendidyoubecomeabadinfluenceonme?NATALIE:Hey,Iamunderstress.Mymomisinahospitalbeingelectrocuted.(LightsuponDiana,DoctorMadden,andtheanesthesiologist.)MADDEN:Goodmorning,Diana.Itsgoodtoseeyou.NATALIE:Seriously.Shegetsit,like,everydayfortwoweeks.Icantevendealwithit.Idneverletthemfuckwithmybrainlikethat.HENRY:No,yourestrictlyadoityourselfer!MADDEN:Thisisyouranesthesiologist;justbreathenormally,countbackwardfromonehundred,andbeforeyoureachoneyoullbeasleep.Whenyouwakeup,youmayfeelsomemusclestiffness,disorientation.Dontworryitscompletelynormal.Diana?Diana?...good.WishIWereHere.DIANA:(sung)InaninstantlightningflashesAndtheburstmightleavemeblindWhentheboltoflightningcrashesAnditburnsrightthroughmymindItslikesomeonedrainedmybrainoutSetmyfrozenmindtothawLetthelethargyandpainoutWhileIstoodandwatchedinaweIamridingonthebrightestbuzzIamworldsawayfromwhoIwasAndtheytoldmeitwouldchangeme ALLMEN:(sung)Thoughtheydontknowhowitdoes ThoughtheydontknowhowitdoesIhavelivedalifeofcloudsandgreyButthisiscrystalclearWishIwerehere WishIwerehereIimagineitsremarkableExuberant,austereWishIwerehere WishIwerehereWishIwerehere WishIwerehereNATALIE:(sung)

  • Itseuphoria,itsanger Itsthewinterwind,itsfire Itsthewinterwind,itsfireAnditkillsmydeepesthungerAsitfillsmewithdesire Imthelightandheatofeverysun DIANA:(sung) ImthelightandheatofeverysunImabulletfromamagicgun ImabulletfromamagicgunAndImtryingtoenjoyitButImmissingallthefun ButImmissingallthefun IammissingallthefunNATALIEandDIANA:AmIfeelingwhatIthinkImfeeling?Thehope,theheat,thefear ALLMEN:WishIwerehere WishIwerehereIsthissomeoneelse'sheadtrick?DoIjustdisappear?WishIwerehere WishIwerehereWishIwerehere WishIwerehereDIANA:(spoken)Sweetheart,whatareyoudoinginmyelectricity?NATALIE:(spoken)Itsalwaysaboutyou,isntit?ImRobotripping!Icantfeelmylegs.DIANA:Idontwantyoudoingdrugs.NATALIE:Thatspersuasive,comingfromthePfizerWomanoftheYear.Youretheonewhoshallucinating.DIANA:Itsmytreatment.Itsamiracle.Everythingsdifferentnow.NATALIE:Iknowwhatyoumean.NATALIEandDIANA:(sung)PlugmeinandturnmeonAndfliptheswitch;ImgoodasgoneItslitsmyskinandtripsmybrainIfeeltheburn,butIdontfeelthepainIsmybrainrebornorisitwreckedInfreedomorinfear? ALLMEN:(sung)WishIwerehere WishIwerehereHaveIblownmymindforever?Iscloudymynewclear?WishIwerehere WishIwerehereWishIwerehereWishIwereHENRY:(spoken)Natalie!Natalie!Damn.Thisis,like,thefifthnightinarowthatIvehadtocomefindyouatsomerandomclub.

  • (LightsuponDanandDiana.)DAN:(spoken)Diana?DIANA:(spoken)Dan.DAN:Yourtwoweeksareup.Itstimetogohome.DIANA:Home?ButDAN:Shhdonttalk.Relax.(Theyleave.)NATALIE:(spoken)Okay,youcango.Im,like,seventypercentlessmessedupnow.Seriously,mydadsgoingtobehomeanyminute.Hesbringingmymomfromthehospitalthismorning.Youdontwanttobehere.HENRY:Willyoucallme?NATALIE:Justgo.(Henryleaves.)NATALIE:(sung)CanIhidemystupidhunger?Fakesomeconfidenceandcheer?WishIwerehereWishIwerehereDAN:(spoken)Werehere!(HeenterswithDiana.)NATALIE:(spoken,toDiana)Hey.Wowyoulookgreat.DIANA:(spoken)Oh.Well,thankyou.Andwhoareyou?NATALIE:WhoamI?DAN:Diana,thisisNatalie.(Dianastilldoesntunderstand.)NATALIE:Yourdaughter.DIANA:Oh.Ofcourse.Andthisisourhouse?SongofForgetting.DAN:Diana,dontyouyoudontrememberanyofthis?DIANA:Ishould,right?DAN:(sung)ThishouseandalltheseroomsLastChristmasorlastyearOutbackthedogwoodblooms

  • DIANA:(sung)DoIreallylivehere?DAN:Thepaint,thewallsAllthisglassandwoodYoudontrecall?DIANA:HowIwishIcouldDAN:OurhouseonWaltonWayThehousewiththereddoorOurtriptoSanTropezThewholeweekadownpourNATALIE:(sung)MyfirstfewstepsAndmyfirstlosttoothWhat,nothingyet?DIANA:TotellthetruthDAN:SingasongofforgettingAsongofthewaythingswerenotSingofwhat'slosttoyouOftimesthatyouneverknewSingofnotrememberingwhenOfmemoriesthatgounrememberedandthenSingasongofforgettingagainThatdayourchildwasbornOurbabygirl'sfirstcryThatgrayanddrizzlymornI'veneverfeltsohighDIANA:ThedaywemetAndwesharedtwobeersDAN:Then?DIANA:Iforget.DAN:Butthatsnineteenyears

  • DIANA:(spoken)ThatDoctorMitchellsaidthattheremightbesomememoryloss.DAN:(spoken)DoctorMadden.DIANA:Well,seethereyougo.NATALIE:(sung)Whatalovelycure!ItsamedicalmiracleWithamindsopureThatshedoesntknowanythingDAN:(sung)Itsthere,Imsure NATALIE:(sung)Causememoriesdontdie Why? DIANA:(sung)Theydontdie Theydie! Why?Singasongofforgetting Singasongofforgetting SingasongofforgettingAsongofthewaythingswerenot Asongofthewaythingswerenot ThingswerenotSingofwhatslosttoyou Whatslosttoyou Whatslosttoyou Whatslosttoyou WhatslosttoyouAndtimesthatyouneverknew Whatslosttoyou,youneverknew Whatslosttoyou,youneverknewDAN,NATALIEandDIANA:SingofnotrememberingwhenOfmemoriesthatgounrememberedandthenDAN:Singasongofforgetting NATALIE: Singasongofforgetting DIANA: SingasongofforgettingDAN,NATALIEandDIANA:Again(Lightsfade,aschoolbellrings,schoolhallwayambience.LightsuponHenryrunningintoNatalie.)Hey#1.HENRY:(sung)HeyNATALIE:(sung)HeyHENRY:IvemissedyouthesedaysIthoughtyoumightcallItsbeenweeks

  • NATALIE:IvebeencrazedHENRY:Hey,heyHaveyoubeenonthescene?CauseyoulooklikeamessNATALIE:Thanks,IguessHENRY:Areyouclean?NATALIE:Wow,comingfromyouHENRY:IdontdowhatyoudoNATALIE:Okay,howdiditstart?HENRY:ButyoutookittoofarNATALIE: HENRY:Oh,Itookittoofar?Henry,dont! Hey,heyDontdothistome Areweover? DontsaythatwereoverDontyouwantustobe? No,IwantwhoIknew Shessomewhereinyou(Nataliegoestoleave.Henryfollowsher.)HENRY:Hey,sayWillyoucometothisdance?ItssomespringformaldanceItsMarchfirstanditscheeseButitsfunanditsfreeNATALIE:IdontdodancesHENRY:DothisdancewithmeNATALIE:Goodbye,Henry(Sheleaves.)

  • HENRY:(spoken)Natalie,Natalie!Waitup!(Hefollowsafterher.Lightsfade.)(LightsuponDan,Diana,andDoctorMadden.)MADDEN:Thismuchlossisrare,butithasbeenreported.Itmaybepartlypsychedelic.Attimeslikethis,themindtendstorepressmemories,buttheyrestilltheresomewhere.Theytendtoreturninfitsandsparks.DAN:Butitsbeentwoweeks.SecondsandYears.MADDEN:(sung)AlittlelossofmemoryisnormalAndhelpfulinforgettingallherfearsDAN:(sung)IcouldntgiveaflyingfuckwhatsnormalWehaventhadanormaldayinyearsMADDEN:(sung)Diana,arethingsbecomingclearerwiththetreatment?DIANA:(spoken)Well,yes.MADDEN:(sung)Islifelesscloudythanitwasbefore?DIANA:(spoken)Yes.MADDEN:(sung)Doyoustillfeelyourheadisfilledwithconcrete?DIANA:(spoken)No.(sung)Andyourenotascaryrockstaranymore(Sheleaves.)MADDEN:(spoken)Okay.Great.DAN:(spoken)Butwhatabouthermemory?MADDEN:(sung)ThememoriesaretheresomewhereFindsomepicturesyoucanshareKeepsakesofthelifethatstherebehindherDAN:(spoken)ShouldIbringupthesubjectofMADDEN:(spoken)Yes.

  • (sung)ButkeepitlightatfirstThatsbestCarefulthatshesnotdistressedWhenthetimesrightTelltherestRemindherYoullfindher(Danleaves.Lightsfade.LightsuponthekitchenwithDan,Diana,andNatalie.)BetterThanBefore.DAN:(sung)SoletsstartwithsomethingsmallSomethingpersonalandprettyIbetyoullknowtheseshinythingsDIANA:(spoken)Theymustbetackytrinketsfrom,Iguess,AtlanticCity?DAN:(sung)No,actually,DiTheyreourweddingringsNATALIE:(spoken)Itsgoingwell.DAN:(sung)HeresaflowerfromourweddingItwassuchasighttoseeAndtheceremonyeverythingwedhopedNATALIE:(spoken)Umm,DadDAN:(sung)Well,thatshowIrememberitSothatshowitllbeNATALIE:(sung)ItwasrainingItwasPortlandYoueloped(spoken)Imean,Portland.DAN:(sung)ItsanopenbooktowritehereItsalifewecanrestoreWecangetbackwhatwehadandmaybemoreMaybegetusbacktobetterthanbeforeNATALIE:(spoken)Umm,missingafewpictureshere,arentyou,Dad?Didntthedoctorsay...DAN:(spoken)Thedoctorsaidattherighttime.

  • NATALIE:Oh.Well,thenDAN:(sung,toDiana)HerestheyearwedrovethewestWehitthehighwayintheHondaAndItookpictureseverywherewewentWesawthePaintedDesertTheGrandCanyonandAuntRhondaAndNatlearnedwhathermiddlefingermeant(NatalieflipsoffDan.)HeresthefirsthousethatweownedOnWaltonWay,welovedthatplaceThenwebuiltthisoneonlandThatwebothchoseAndheresapicofallofusWithsmilesoneveryfaceAndthephotoshoppinghardlyevenshowsDIANA:(sung)WerestandingbyalakewithalltheseducksAndwhosthislittlechubbygirl?DAN:ThatsNatalieNATALIE:Thissucks(Shegetsuptoleave.Danfollowsher.)DAN:(spoken)Nat.(sung)GonnagetusbacktonormalGonnagetusbacktogoodGonnagetbackwhatwehadandmaybemoreGonnagetusbacktogoodtimesAndforgetthethingsweshouldGonnagetusbacktobetterthanbeforeGetthingsbacktobetterthanbeforeNATALIE:(spoken)Allright,fine.(ShesitswithDiana.)(sung)HerestheheadlineinthepaperWhenyoufreakedoutatthemarketHeresthehouseonWaltonWayAfterthefireHeresthedamagetotheHondaWhenyoushowedmehowtoparkit

  • DIANA:(sung)Didwecrushsomebodyscatbeneaththetire?NATALIE:(spoken)Yes,ours.(sung)HeresDadatmyrecitalAndwerewonderingwhereyouareDIANA:IrememberthisImadeittotheschoolDAN:(spoken)Wait,youremember?DIANA:(sung)ItwastheyearoftoomuchLithiumIhidoutinthecarDAN:(spoken)Yes.DIANA:(sung)AndyourswimmeetjustlastyearIminthepoolNATALIE:(spoken)Soyouare.DAN:(sung)YouregettingitYouvegotit,DiHooray!DIANA:(sung)Yourlifehaskindofsucked,IthinkNATALIE:(sung)Youvegotit DAN:(sung) DIANA:(sung)Yay,hooray! Hooray! Hooray!DIANA:GonnagetbackwhatIlosthereGonnafindoutwhoIwasGonnaopenupthegatesandletitpourDAN:AndifmemorymakesthingsbetterWell,memoryalwaysdoesGonnagetusbacktobetterthanbeforeDANandDIANA: NATALIE: DIANA:Makeeverythingmuchbetterthan Wontanythingbebetterthanbefore? Iguessitmustbebetterthanbefore

  • DANandNATALIE:BetterthanbeforeDAN,NATALIEandDIANA:BetterthanbeforeAftershocks.(DanandNatalieleave.Gabeenters.)GABE:(sung)TheyvemanagedtogetridofmeReturnmetothegraveECT,electricchairWeshockwhowecantsaveTheyveclearedyouofmymemoryAndmanymoreaswellYoumayhavewantedsomeofthemButwhocanevertell?YourbrainwavesaremoreregularThechemistrymorepureTheheadachesandthenauseawillpassYoullendureYoursonisgoneforever,thoughOfthatthedoctorssureThememorieswillwaneTheaftershocksremainYouwonderwhichisworseThesymptomorthecureDAN:(spoken)Di,honey,youvebeenatthisfordays.DIANA:(spoken)Theressomethingmissing,Dan.Itslikeitstuggingatme.Icanalmostseeit.DAN:Cometobed.Ifthememoriesaremeanttocomeback,theywill.(Heleaves.)(Henryenters.)HENRY:Oh.Sorry,Ms.Goodman.IjustneededtotalktoNatalieaboutsomehomework.Iknowitslate.Shesnotansweringherphoneiseverythingallright?DIANA:Henry.HENRY:Yes.DIANA:Youremindmeofsomeone.Howoldareyou?HENRY:Seventeen.Why?DIANA:Idontknow.Nataliesinherroom.

  • (Henrygoesupstairs.)GABE:(sung)TheyvemanagedtogetridofmeImgonewithoutatraceButsearthesoulandleavescarNotreatmentcaneraseThey'vecutawaythecancerButforgottofilltheholeTheymovedmefromyourmemoryI'mstillthereinyoursoulYourlifegoesbacktonormalnowOrsotheyallbelieveYourheartisinyourchestagainNothangingfromyoursleeveThey'vedrivenoutthedemonsAndthey'veearnedyouthisreprieveThememoriesaregoneTheaftershocksliveonButwithnothingtorememberIstherenothinglefttogrieve?DIANA:(sung)Withnothingtoremember(Lightsfade.LightsuponNatalieandHenry.)Hey#2HENRY:(sung)HeyNATALIE:(sung)HeyHENRY:Sotomorrow'sthedanceIt'sannoying,IknowButlet'sgoNATALIE:NotachanceHENRY:LetmeknowyouagainNATALIE:NotrightnowHENRY:Okay,when?

  • SaywaitandI'llwaitNATALIE:It'salreadytoolateHENRY:There'snowayit'stoolateNATALIE: HENRY:Hey,hey TheresnowayWillyoulisten? IstayedbyyoursideJustshutupandlisten HENRY:WhydoIgetdenied?NATALIE:YouremindmeofmeAndhowfuckedupIcanbeHENRY:Okay,heyLet'sstartovercleanslateI'llcomebyhereateightIfyoushowThenwe'llgoIfyoudon'tWell,we'llseeNATALIE:Youjustdon'tgiveupHENRY:Sodon'tgiveuponmeNATALIE:Goodbye,HenryYouDontKnow(Reprise).(Lightsfade.LightsuponDianaandDoctorMadden.)DIANA:(sung)It'sbeenfourweekssincethetreatmentAndmymindisstillamessAndwhat'slefttoberememberedWell,it'sanybody'sguessCausemypastisliketheweatherItwillcomeanditwillgoIdon'tknow,evenknowWhatitisthatIdon'tknowI'msomeChristopherColumbus

  • SailingoutintomymindWithnomapofwhereI'mgoingOrofwhatI'veleftbehindIdon'tthethingsIdon'tknowI'msuresomething'smissingIwishitwouldshowIdon'tknow,yousaytakeitslowIdo,buthowIdo,Idon'tknowMADDEN:(sung)Areyoutalkingwithyourhusband?DIANA:Well,hehasn'tmuchtosayMADDEN:Ishelpingyouremember?DIANA:Irememberthat'shiswayMADDEN:DoesthepuzzlecometogetherPiecemypieceandrowbyrow?DIANA:Idon'tknow,Idon'tknowWherethefuckingpiecesgoCauseIdon'thowthisstartedSo,Iwon'tknowwhenit'sdoneMADDEN:Haveyoutalkedofyourdepression,Yourdelusionsandyourson?DIANA:(spoken)Mywhat?MADDEN:(spoken)YourhusbanddidntIthinkyoutwoshouldtalkmore.DIANA:Weshouldtalkmore?That'sit?Idon'tevenremembermarryingthisman,itsnotlikeI'mnotsomesexuallyfrustratedsoccermom.MADDEN:Interestingly,theunderlyingchallengesaresimilar.I'llseeyounextweek.DIANA:ButMADDEN:Nextweek.(Gabeentersandplacesaboxofkeepsakesdownstage.Dianaapproachesitandbeginsgoingthroughit.Shepullsoutthemusicbox,opensitandthemelodyplays.Gabebeginshummingalong.)DIANA:What?

  • (Danrunsin.)DAN:Whatareyoudoing?(Hetriestotakethemusicboxfromher.)DIANA:Whatisthis?DAN:Wheredidyougetthat?Itsnothinganoldmusicbox.HowCouldIEverForget?.DIANA:Weplayeditforthebaby.Sometimesithelpedhimsleep.DAN:Diana.DIANA:Him.Wedidhaveaboy.DAN:Diana,youshouldntDIANA:(sung)WewerestilllivingdowntownDAN:(spoken)Thisisnotagoodidea.DIANA:(sung)MyblackcoatthrownovermybluenightgownYoudrovetoofastThelightsofthecityflewpastDAN:(spoken)PleasedontDIANA:(sung)HowcouldIeverforget?OutsidethemorningwascoolandwetHehadsuchchillsButstill,helaytheresostillJusteighteenmonthsoldSocoldWeranhiminsideLost,worrying,wonderingThathospitalroomThatgloomHowcouldIeverforget? DAN:(sung) HowcouldIeverforget?ScreamingatdoctorsAlarmed,upset God,IwassoupsetTheysaidtowait Diana,dontTheyneversaidweweretoolate Youthinkthiswillhelp,butitwontButIwasachild SomanyyearsagoRaisingachild SomuchwecouldnotknowThoseweeksfullofjoy

  • ThenamomentofdreadSomeonesimplysaid,Yourchildis HowcouldIeverforget?HowcouldIeverforget?Mylifewasset ThiswasthemomentmylifewassetThatdaythatIlostyou ThatdaythatIlostyouItsclearasthedaywemet ItsclearasthedaywemetDAN:(spoken)Whywouldyouwanttorememberthethingsthathurtyou?DIANA:(spoken)Iwanttoremembereverything,Dan.Howdidhedie?DAN:Hewassick.DIANA:Withwhat?Whywasnthetreated?Whatwaswrong?DAN:(sung)SomethingthedoctorsallmissedTheclinic,theER,eachspecialistTheysaid,Babiescry,Allergies,gas,whoknowswhy?AndIwasachildRaisingachildWestayedupallnightThosenightsyousleptathissideButstillhejustcriedAndcriedDIANA:(spoken)Hewasababywhenhedied,butIrememberhimmucholder.DAN:(spoken)No.Hewasababy.WeshouldcallDoctorMadden.ItsGonnaBeGood(Reprise).DIANA:WhyshouldwecallDoctorMadden?Imjusttryingtomakesenseofthis.Godwhatwashisname?Idontremembereverhearingyousayhisname.Whyisthat?DAN:Diana.DIANA:Tellme.DAN:(sung)It'sgonnabefineIt'sgonnabefineWe'llgobacktothedoctorsCausewecaughtitjustintimeWe'lltakethepills,we'llpaythebillsWe'lldomoreECTDIANA:(spoken)HisnameoursonDAN:(sung)

  • It'sgonnabegood,you'llseeDIANA:(spoken)Whatwashisname?DAN:(sung)It'sgonnabegood,you'llseeDIANA:(spoken)Whatwashisname?DAN:(sung) DIANA:(sung)Itsgonnabegood Whatwashisname?Itsgonnabegood Whatwashisname?Itsgonnabegood Whatwashisname?Good,good,good,good Name,name,name,nameGood,good,good Whatwashisname?

    Whatwashisname(Dantakesthemusicbox,throwsit,andbreaksitjustasNatalieenters.)NATALIE:(spoken)Jesus!Dad!DAN:(spoken)Natalie...(Natalierunsupstairs.)WhyStay?/APromiseDIANA:(sung)Whystay?Whystay?SosteadfastandstolidAndstoicandsolidFordayaftereverydayWhystay?Whystay?WhynotsimplygiveinAndgetonwithlivingCauseeveryoneknowsyoutriedButsomehow,somethingdiedonthewaySotellmewhyyoustayDIANAandNATALIE:Whystay?Whystay?EnduringandcopingAndhurtingandhopingFordayafterfuckingdayWhystay?Whystay?WhynotsimplyenditWe'dallcomprehendit

  • AndmostoftheworldWouldsayit,he'sbetteroffthatwayTobefreeandmaybesoissheDAN:(sung)ApromiseaboysaysforeverDANandHENRY:(sung)AboysayswhatevermaycomewillcomethroughAndwhocanknowhowWhenallIknownowtobetrueIsthispromisethatImadetoyouAquestionaboywonderswhetherShouldIstaytogetherthewaythattheystayForyearafteryearforloveorfeareitherwayDAN:ThatsthepromisethatImadethatdayHENRY:Here'swhatIsayDANandHENRY:TothegirlwhowasburningsobrightlyLikethelightfromOrionaboveDAN:AndstillIwillsearchforhernightlyDANandHENRY:Ifyouseeher,pleasesendhermyloveAndtheboywasaboyforallseasonsThatboyislonglosttomenowAndthemanhasforgottenhisreasonsDAN:ButthemanstillremembershisvowApromiseamansaysforeverAmansaysI'llneverregretorletyouThepromiseImadetostayandIstaytrueKnowingonedaywe'drememberthatjoyYou'drememberthatgirlI'drememberthatboytilwedoThepromiseImadeI'llmakeitbrandnewThepromisethatImadetoyouImAlive(Reprise).(Gabeenters.DianapushesDanoutoftheway.)GABE:(sung)

  • IammorethanmemoryIamwhatmightbeIammysteryComecloserDIANA:(spoken)Dan...GABE:(sung)ComecloserDAN:(spoken)Diana,theresnothingthere.GABE:(sung)IamoldastimeI'mforeveryoungIameverysongthatwillstayunsungI'llfindyouDIANA:(spoken)Oh,no.DAN:(spoken)Goddamnit!GABE:(sung)RemindyouDIANA:(spoken)Natalie!DAN:(spoken)Di!Comebackhere!(Natalierunsdownstairs.)GABE:(sung)UntilyounamemeYoucan'ttamemeThisisoneoldgameIcanplaysowellImalive,ImaliveIamsoaliveThemedicinefailedAndthedoctorsliedI'malive,ImaliveIamdeathdefiedImalive,soaliveNATALIE:(spoken,toHenry)Icantgotoyourdance.Ihavetotakemymomtothedoctor.HENRY:(spoken)Illdrive.NATALIE:No!

  • GABE:(sung)I'maliveHENRY:(spoken)Letmehelp.NATALIE:(spoken)Youcant.Justgo!Look,Illtrytocomelater,okay?(Sheleaves.Hefollowsbehindher.)HENRY:Illwaitforyou!DAN:Natalie!GABE:(sung)SoaliveI'malive(Lightsfade.LightsuponDianaandDoctorMadden.)TheBreak.DIANA:(sung)TheytoldmethatthewiringwassomehowallmisfiringAndscrewingupthesignalsinmybrainAndthentheytoldmechemistry,thejuiceandnotthecircuitryWasmixingupandmakingmeinsaneWhathappenswhentheburnhashealed,buttheskinhasnotregrown?Whathappenswhenthecast,atlast,comesoff,Andthenyoufindthebreakwasalwaysinanotherbone?MADDEN:(spoken)Relapseisverycommon,Diana.It'supsettingthatthedelusionalepisodeshavereturned,butitsnotentirelyunexpected.DIANA:(sung)TheytriedamillionmedsandTheystrappedmetotheirbedsandTheyshruggedandtoldmethat'sthewayitgoesButfinallyyouhititIaskedyoujustwhatdiditYoushruggedandsaidthatnoonereallyknowsWhathappensifthemedicinewasn'treallyincontrol?Whathappensifthecut,theburn,thebreakwasneverinmybrain,Orinmyblood,butinmysoul?Whathappensifthecut,theburn,thebreakwasneverinmybrain,Orinmyblood,butinmysoul?MakeUpYourMind/CatchMeImFalling(Reprise).MADDEN:(sung)MakeupyourmindthisisclarityClaritythatyoudidnothavebeforeThetreatmentisstrongbutlastonlysolongItsmaybeyourmind'sneedingmore

  • DIANA:(spoken)Let'ssaythat'snotthat.MADDEN:(spoken)TheECTispowerful.Itgaveyouyourlifeback,buttheeffectsfadeandadditionaltreatmentsarealmostalwaysneeded.DIANA:(spoken)Thatwasn'tontheform.MADDEN:(sung)Makeupyourmindthatyou'lltryagainMakeupyourmindtherearemomentsoflightButonethingsthat'ssureisthatthereisnocureButthatdoesn'tmeanwedon'tfightDIANA:(sung)CatchmeI'mfallingMADDEN:(spoken)We'llreturntothetalktherapy.DIANA:(sung)SinkingandsprawlingMADDEN:(spoken)There'smoreworktodo.DIANA:(sung)MaybeI'llletmyselffallWatchmeI'mfallingMADDEN:(spoken)WemayneedtolookatDIANA:(sung) GABE:(sung)Maybethefalling MaybethefallingIsn'tsobadafterall IsntsobadafterallMADDEN:(spoken)anewdrugregimen.Youhavetocontinuetakingmedicine.Thereareotherpromisingtreatments.DIANA:(sung) GABE:(sung)Isn'tsobadafterall MakeupyourmindtobefreeWatchmeI'mfalling MakeupyourmindtobefreeWatchmeI'mflying MakeupyourmindSomehowsurviving MakeupyourMADDEN:(spoken)Diana!Youhaveachronicillness.Likediabetesorhypertension.Ifyouleaveituntreated,itcouldbecatastrophic.DIANA:(spoken)Iunderstand.Buttherehastobeanotherway.MADDEN:(sung)Staywithme,tryagainDontwalkoutontreatmentDontlosewhatyouvewonYouvestruggledforyearsButyouveonlybegun

  • DIANA:(spoken,throughtears)Myfirstpsychiatristtoldmethat,accordingtothemanual,griefthatcontinuespastfourmonthsispathologicalandshouldbemedicated.Fourmonths.Forthelifeofmychildwhomakesthesedecisions?MADDEN:(spoken)Itsaguide,Diana.Nothingmore.DIANA:Yes.Nothingmore.MADDEN:(sung)StaywithmeTryagainIsmedicinemagic?YouknowthatitsnotYouknowitsnotperfectButitswhatwevegotItsallthatwevegotDIANA:(spoken)Goodbye,DoctorMadden.(Lightsfade.LightsuponNatalieandDiana.)Maybe(NexttoNormal).NATALIE:Whatdhesay?DIANA:HesaidIcoulddomoreECTorgobackonthemeds.NATALIE:Andwhatareyougonnado?DIANA:Imgoingtotakeyoutoyourdance.NATALIE:MomDIANA:Itstimeforyoutostartthinkingofyourownhappiness.NATALIE:Itsnothappiness.ItsHenry.DIANA:Youlovehim.NATALIE:Mom,youcantjustwalkoutonyourdoctor.DIANA:(sung)MaybeIvelostitatlastMaybemylastlucidmomenthaspastImdancingwithdeath,IsupposeButreally,whoknows?CouldbeImcrazytogoTheysayyoushouldstaywiththedevilyouknowButwhenlifeneedsachangeandtheonedevilwontYouflytothedevilyoudontNATALIE:(spoken)Sowhat?Yourejustgoingtowingit?

  • DIANA:(sung)MaybeImtiredofthegameOfcomingupshortoftherules,oftheshameAndmaybeyoufeelthatway,tooIseemeinyouAgirlfullofangerandhopeAgirlwithamotherwhojustcouldntcopeAgirlwhofeltcaughtAndthoughtnoonecouldseeButmaybeonedayshellbefreeNATALIE:(sung)ItssolovelythatyouresharingNo,really,ImallearsButwherehasallthiscaringbeenForsixteenyears?ForallthoseyearsIprayedthatyoudgoawayforgoodHalfthetimeafraidthatyoureallywouldWhenIthoughtyoumightbedyingIcriedforallwedneverbeButtherellbenomorecrying DIANA:Notforme Thingswillgetbetter,youllseeNotforme YoullseeNotforme Youllsee,youllseeNotforme YoullseeDIANA:MaybewecantbeokayButmaybeweretoughandwelltryanywayWelllivewithwhatsrealLetgoofwhatspastAndmaybeIllseeyouatlastNATALIE:(spoken)Idontbelieveyou.DIANA:(spoken)Seventeenyearsagowhenyourbrotherdiedofanintestinalobstruction,hewaseightmonthsold.Thedoctorsmissedit,andyourfatherandIdidntknowanything.Wewerekids,notmucholderthanyou.Imsosorrywenevertalkedaboutthat.Wewantedtogiveyouanormallife,butIrealizeIhavenocluewhatthatis.NATALIE:(sung)IdontneedalifethatsnormalThatswaytoofarawayButsomethingnexttonormalwouldbeokayYes,somethingnexttonormalThatsthethingIdliketotryCloseenoughtonormaltogetbyDIANA:(sung)WellgetbyNATALIE:Wellgetby

  • DIANA:(spoken)Okay.Now,gotoyourdance.(Theybothleave,lightsfade.LightsuponHenrywhoiswaitinganxiouslyforNatalie.Shearrives.)Hey#3/PerfectForYou(Reprise).HENRY:(sung)HeyNATALIE:(sung)HeyHENRY:YoulooklikeastarAvisioninblueNATALIE:Oh,Ido?HENRY:Andyouare!Hey,youcameNATALIE:Well,IsaidthatImightHENRY:IthoughtwewerethroughMeandyouNATALIE:NottonightHENRY:Willyourmombeokay?NATALIE:Well,shemightbesomedayHENRY:Butfornowitsallfine?NATALIE:ShesstillonmymindHENRY: NATALIE:Canyouleaveitbehind? Hey!Stay,letsseethisthingthrough Hey! AmIcrazy? ImightendupcrazyHENRY:Illbehereforyou

  • NATALIE:YousaythatrighthereButthengiveitayearOrtenyearsoralifeIcouldendupyourwifeSittingstaringatwallsThrowingshitdownthestairsFreakingoutatthestoreRunningnudedownthestreetBleedingoutinthebathHENRY:ShhhPerfectforyouIwillbeperfectforyouSoyoucouldgocrazyorIcouldgocrazyItstrueSometimeslifeisinsaneButcrazy,IknowIcandoCausecrazyisperfectAndfuckedupisperfectsoIwillbeperfectNATALIE:PerfectBOTH:Perfectforyou(Theykiss,takeeachothershandsandthenleavetogether.LightsfadeandthencomeuponDianawhostandsonstagewithDan.Sheholdsasuitcase.)SoAnyway.DIANA:(sung)Soanyway,ImleavingIthoughtyoudliketoknowYourefaithfulcomewhatmayButclearly,IcantstayWedbothgomadthatwaySohereIgoAndanyway,ImleavingIguessthatyoucanseeIlltrythisonmyownAlifeIveneverknownIllfacethedreadaloneButIllbefreeWithyoualwaysbesidemeTocatchmewhenIfallIdnevergettoknowthefeelofsolidgroundatallWithyoualwaysbelievingthatwecanstillcomethrough

  • ItmakesmefeelthefooltoknowthatitsnottrueWhatdoctorscalldysfunctionWetrytocallromanceAndtrue,itsquiteatricktotellThedancersfromthedanceButratherthanthechancetakemeIlltakethechance(Gabeenters.)IlltakeachanceonleavingItsthatorstayanddieIlovedyouonceandthoughYoulovemestillIknowitstimeformetoflyIlovedyouonceandthoughIloveyoustillIknowitstimeformetogoAndso,goodbye(Sheleaves.)IAmtheOne(Reprise).DAN:(sung)IamtheonewholovedyouIamtheonewhostayedIamtheoneandyouwalkedawayIamtheonewaitedAndnowyouactlikeyoujustdontgiveadamnLikeyouveneverknewwhoIamGABE:(sung,toDan) DAN:(sung)Iamtheonewhoknowsyou IamIamtheoneyoufeel IamIamtheonewhosalwaysbeenhere Ivealwaysbeenhere IamIamtheonewhollhearyou IamIknowyoutoldherthatImnotworthadamnButIknowyouknowwhoIamDAN:(spoken)NoGABE:(sung)IknowyouknowwhoIamDAN:(spoken)Whycantyoujustleavemealone?GABE:(sung)IknowyouknowwhoIam

  • DAN:(spoken)Whydidntyougowithher?GABE:(sung)CauseImholdingon DAN:(sung) LetmegoAndIwontletgo LetmegoAndIwantyoutoknow YoudontknowBOTH:(sung)IamtheonewhoheldyouIamtheonewhocriedIamtheonewhowatchedwhileyoudiedIamtheonewholovesyouItriedpretendingthatIdontgiveadamnGABE:(sung)ButyouvealwaysknownwhoIamDAN:(spoken)Gabe.Gabriel.GABE:(spoken)Hi,Dad.(Heleaves.Natalieenters.Dansitsinthedarkness.)NATALIE:Dad.Whatthehell.Whyarethelightsoff?WheresMom?DAN:Shes,uhshesNATALIE:Gone.DAN:Yes.Light/Finale.NATALIE:Oh.So,itsjustmeandyou.Fornow.DAN:Yes.(Hecries.)NATALIE:Okay.(sung)WeneedsomelightFirstofall,weneedsomelightYoucantsithereinthedarkAndallalone,itsasorrysightItsjustyouandmeWelllive,youllseeDAN:(sung)NightafternightWedsitandwaitforthemorninglightButwevewaitedfartoolongForallthatswrongtobemaderight

  • DIANA:(sung)DayafterdayWishingallourcaresawayTryingtofightthethingswefeelButsomehurtsneverhealSomeghostsarenevergoneButwegoonWestillgoonAndyoufindsomewaytosurviveAndyoufindoutyoudonthavetobehappyatallTobehappyyourealiveHENRY:(spoken)Doyouknowwhereshewent?Haveyouheardfromher?NATALIE:(spoken)Shesstayingwithmygrandparents.HENRY:Dotheyactuallyexist?NATALIE:Yes.HENRY:Thatsgood,right?NATALIE:Well,goinghomehasneverreallybeenasolutiontomyproblems.HENRY:Thatswhatyouhavemefor.NATALIE:Seriously?Youre,like,numberthreeonmylistofissues.HENRY:List?Youkeepalist?NATALIE:Butyouremyfavoriteproblem.HENRY:Well,thatsallIask.NATALIE:(sung)DayafterdayGivemecloudsandrainandgreyGivemepainifthatswhatsreal DAN:(sung)Itsthepricewepaytofeel PricewepaytofeelMADDEN:(sung)ThepriceofloveislossButstillwepay(DanturnstoseeNatalieandHenryatthetable.)MADDENandDAN:WeloveanywayDAN:(spoken)Iknowyoucanttellmeifyourestilltreatingher.IjustIwonderifshesokay.MADDEN:(spoken)Ithinkshesworkingonit.

  • DAN:Doyouthinkshellcomehome?MADDEN:Itshardtoknow.DAN:Right.MADDEN:Dan,wouldyoulikemetorecommendsomeoneforyoutotalkto?DAN:No,no.I,uhyes,Iwould.Thankyou.GABE:(sung)AndwhenthenighthasfinallygoneAndwhenweseethenewdaydawnWellwonderhowwewonderedforsolong,soblindThewastedworldwethoughtweknewThelightwillmakeitlookbrandnewSoletitNATALIE,DAN,andHENRY:(sung)LetitLetitshineShineNATALIE,DAN,HENRY,andDIANA:(sung)ShineALL:(sung)DayafterdayWe'llfindthewilltofindourwayKnowingthatthedarkestskieswillsomedayseethesunDAN:WhenourlongnightisdoneDANandNATALIE:TherewillbelightDIANA:TherewillbelightALL:TherewillbelightWhenweopenupourlivesSonsanddaughters,husbands,wivesCanfightthatfightTherewillbelightTherewillbelightTherewillbelightTherewillbelight(Lightsfade.)EndofActII.Curtain.