Vol. V no. 3 The official newspaper of The Touro college flaTbush campus maY 2009

Continued on page 14

Screaming Facts

On February 13, 2006, Ilan Halimi (may G-d avenge his blood), a 23 year old French Jew, was found

bound to a tree near a railroad just south of Paris. He was naked and handcuffed, with acid burns on 80% of his body, and his toe and ear were severed. He died on the way to the hospital.

He was tor-tured for three full weeks by his 27 captors who made ran-som demands by phone and read Quran verses while Ilan was heard screaming in pain in the background. The captors were of Muslim and African descent, but of vari-ous nationalities. Fast forward to May 1st, 2009. Despite the numerous protests from the French Jewish Community, the Halimi Trial is being held in closed pro-ceedings. The French authorities are still hesitant to look in the mirror and call this

an Anti-Semitic crime, and the French ju-dicial system is proving to be incapable of holding a normal Court.

According to Halimis’ attorney, Yous-souf Fofana, the 28 year old leading gang barbarian, smiled in court and yelled “Al-lah will be victorious!” The judge then al-legedly provided Fofana with free reign to intimidate the Halimi family. Unrestrained, he continued his tirade, announcing that the

suffering fam-ily was being photographed. The Halimis r e p e a t e d l y asked the judge to order him quiet so the proceedings can continue. The judge re-fused to do so. The distressed

Halimis walked out in protest. And now there is public outcry from the French Jew-ish community to make the trial public.

Few Jews outside of France are fa-miliar with this story and are failing to sympathize with the Jewish community in France. As administrator of the Glob-al Anti-Semitism Awareness Group on

By Yossi Zucker

What’S InSIde

A reCenT Sprint commercial es-timated that “233,000 people just twittered on twitter; 26% of

view[ers] have no idea what that means.” While this commercial was a marketing gimmick, it contains much truth. Twitter is a new social-web-text messaging ser-vice that some are raving about, while others are simply left clueless. Like Fa-cebook, it started small, and built its user base by word of mouth. Unlike Facebook, it tackles social networking through a completely different outlook, and has not even reached its true potential yet.

Twitter’s obvious aim is to provide an “online social life.” It follows a simple ap-

tweet tweet, the new Rage

By Yossie Lebel

reMeMber the good old days when all an owner had to do for their pet was take it to the veterinarian,

and maybe to the groomers? Other than

that, man and his best friend were free to spend time with each other. The only other pet-related expenses amount to food, toys, and the occasional pooper-scooper. Pet-psychics later began popping out of the woodwork. Alas, now “extravagance” in the pet world is reaching new heights – literally. Introducing: Pet Airways.

To quote their website, “With Pet Airways, your pet will be safe and com-fortable flying in the main cabin---not in cargo! Pet Airways is the first airline ex-clusively dedicated to pets – no humans please – and we take the job of providing a comfortable experience for pets very seriously.”

Seriously, indeed. Pets of all shapes and sizes can be dropped off at the pet lounge up to 72 hours before take off. While traveling, each pet is taken for routine potty breaks by their Pet Atten-

dant. There is a special “Pet Airways Pet Tracker” so that owners can monitor their precious loved one’s every movement. Additionally, if for some reason the pet’s owner can not reach the airport in time for landing, animals can stay at the PAWS Lodge.

Interested in having your cuddly creature fly first class? Prices for flights average $150 each way to most U.S. destinations – cheaper than some human flights. Feeling strapped for cash? Per-haps a collapsible kitty carrier is a worthy investment for the next time you need to travel. Just practice your meows before boarding.

Tova is sure that Bo Obama flies in comfort, but she is much more impressed by William McKinley’s “Yankee Doodle Dandee” whistling parrot.

Bark, Bark, and away!By Tova Snitzer

Continued on page 16

1. GrADUATe SCHOOLS WOrLDWIDeAre you tak-ing the big leap?Get some quick point-erspage 3 2. SPOrTS, POWer, POLITICSAthletes are people too.Find out how!page 6 3. A MUFFIn A DAY...The palat-able art of the muffinpage 8

4. THe reFOrMATIOnThe chang-e s / f o r c e s that take over a Touro studentpage 9 5. YOU GOTTA FOLDIT, FOLDITA game with brainy re-sultspage 15

Also Inside:Student Center.....................4Sports..................................6Food Court..........................8Poetry Page.........................9Around Campus................10Humor/entertainment.......12reviews ............................13Science & Tech.................14Meet the Prof....................15news & Politics................16

S P r I n G 2 0 0 92

Letters to the editor

Letter from the editor

Dear Touro Staff,As I write this, I reminisce about a

difficult class, an impossible test, and too much homework. However, there seems to be a growing number of students who do not feel the same way. They have little stress from school, and it’s not be-cause they have great time-management and study skills. In fact, at times they do not manage to do a stitch of work . Like little thieves, they sneak in under the teachers’ radar, pretend to be more responsible than they really are, and mis-leadingly convince the instructor to raise their grades. Yes, they employ conniving methods to receive a better mark, an ex-tension for an assignment’s due date, or extra time to study for a test. One girl in my class did not do her homework and received no grade deduction. In another class, two girls who failed to study for a test were granted permission to use that period to study and come back later to

take the test. How is it fair that she had more time to study - without penalty - and ended up with a higher grade than many other of the hard working students in the class? What happened to justice in grading? Why can papers be handed in a week late with no repercussion? How is this fair to the rest of the student body? I am not an advocate for strict dictator-ship-like classes, but some measure of responsibility and suitable punishment would be appropriate. no educational establishment could function properly if due dates were a recommendation, rules were disregarded, tests were optional, and everyone was the exception to ev-ery regulation. For those of us who are timely, efficient, and sincere students, it is unfairness rearing its ugly head. Thank you, TCrT, for giving me a venue to vent.

-Anony Mouse

Dear Anony Mouse,Thank you for being the coura-

geous voice of fellow frustrated stu-dents.

Dear round Table Staff,First, a round of applause to you for

producing the round Table - it really is a wonderful newspaper. below is my com-ment to an article in April’s issue. (“Warming up to Polar bears”, April ‘09 issue) I applaud bluma Gottesman for writing this article, not to mention Lorie Loeb for her very creative idea in vividly bringing home the idea of conserving energy. The floating or sinking polar bear not only appeals to our compassion but is also a “measuring” device that informs people when they’re using too much en-ergy - not always easy to know. I, too, can see the polar bear being used in the home, and I certainly hope that its inventor gets her wish. Sincerely,Chava Drummond, a Touro student

Closing CurtainsGoodbyes were never charming moments for me, yet now it is my turn to don the cap and gown and

wave farewell to the building that housed my most recent years of study, to the library and librarians who in-dulged me in hours of good reading, to my classmates-turned-friends who enjoyed bagel Hole lunches and Garden of eat-In dinners with me, and to the professors who have fed and fueled my quest for knowledge.

Hang on, though. After graduating, I can still visit Touro on J. I can still cradle books in my hands. I can still eat, socialize, and do almost everything I did as a student. And I will. So a little formal leave-taking in a cap and gown actually doesn’t ache much.

It is when I wave goodbye to my professors that I gulp hard, because they are the ones who helped make this place of plain desks, nondescript classrooms, and many hallways become a personal place of variety, pursuit, and passion. It is they who made me rejoice with the results of an experiment, made me flush as I argued my point, made me fall in love with Ibsen’s plays, and made me curious about wildebeests. It is the classes they gave, now reduced to hurried notes in my Five Star, that made my years in college feel like days. Textbooks just don’t make me rejoice, flush, love, or grow curious in the same, strong way. Au revoir and merci.

And now, a round of encouraging applause for my successors, Tova and Leah! A hearty welcome and a mighty salute. May you enjoy this precious paper as much as I did. May you merit as special a staff as I had. bienvenue and bonne chance!

Fondly and forever, Dina Kupfer

The round Table

sTaff eDITOr-In-CHIeF

Dina Kupfer

ASSOCIATe eDITOrS

Leah LebelTova Snitzer

COPY-eDITOrS efrat Gordon-Grunin

Shaindy Ziegler

SPOrTS eDITOrMoshe Weiss

DeSIGnZahavah Gottlieb

Samuel Fadeyi

STAFF rePOrTerSrivka borger

Sara brummer bluma Gottesman

Aura LagnadoAbby Moskowitz

Tzvi Zucker

CIrCULATIOnSara brummer

The Touro College round Table is published by the administration of the Touro College Flatbush Campus. Any opinions expressed herein are approved by the dean and may reflect those of Touro College and any of its affiliates.

For questions, comments, or to join the staff, please contact the editors-in-chief at TouronP@gmail.com

Editor’s Page

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 3

I’M suspecting a dinosaur conspiracy against the world of black on white in print. Dinosaurs are certainly feeling lonely and understimulated;

after all, the youthful Tyrannosaur tyrannosaurus is supposedly 66 million years old. They surely want newspapers and books to peruse and self-entertain while lounging in fossil beds. Many predict that published material may soon join them as an extinct species. The ubiquitous Internet is killing the need for the written word, while the economy crunch is creating an advertisement famine, forcing publishing companies off their bread and butter. It is time to take up battle with the bored stiff dinosaurs who are envi-ously sucking our reading material into their black hole. My battle cry: Mark bauerlein’s The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future (Or, Don’t Trust Anyone Under 30). My weaponry: The TC round Table.

I checked out The Dumbest Generation from our well-resourced Touro library with the intent of sharing some parts of it with my students. They re-cently handed in book critiques and, being eager to capitalize on their hesitant interest in the written word, I sought to drill in the positive benefits so that it wouldn’t become a fleeting fascination that falls out of vogue. The book served to do more than that. It served to explain just how urgently and ferociously we need to fight those scheming dinosaurs.

bauerlein neatly pulls together the plethora of dooming research that makes english teachers choke (although they know it in their gut). It doesn’t unveil a sudden epiphany. rather, it presents com-prehensive data that reveals just how stale the stale truth is. High-wired with gadgets and high-strung to succeed, adolescents are turning into “bibliophobes,” too up-to-date and too busy to snuggle up with dog-eared reading material.

It starts early in life: Six-month to six-year-olds are hooked to the screen three times the amount of time they are involved in reading or being read to. And it only gets worse: 15-17 year olds’ aver-age leisure reading time dropped from 18 to 7 piti-ful minutes on a weekend day. reading is essential to the education process, but the problem persists as they zip off to college with deficiencies in reading comprehension, effective writing, and overall com-munication. A stout 80% of college freshman read four books or less in 2005, with seniors not doing much better. This points to yet another economy stressor: “be-cause too many students are not learning the basic skills needed to succeed in college or work while they are in high school, the nation loses more

than $3.7 billion a year.” Having devoted half of my college experi-

ence to the development of the TCrT, I’m anxious. Plainly, published material is not dispensable with-out consequence. but still, the dinosaurs are at work. There was the mournful closing of Denver’s 150 year old rocky Mountain news, birmingham Post-Her-ald is just a memory, The boston Globe and The nY Times are teetering, and there is the forecasted close of a dozen other newsprint giants. newspapers inves-tigate, inform, and amuse. newspapers, even college newspapers, are key to educational enhancement. How can we let them go the way of dinosaurs?

Printed paper is on the endangered list. We must do our share in preserving it. The TCrT needs loyal readers and dynamic writers, efficient editors and talented layout designers. Why are fellow students unaware that a school newspaper is actually alive and breathing, if faintly? Why, as I stood at the se-curity guard’s desk greeting students with a copy of the TCrT, did I walk away with an arm-load, and feeling like the guy on the street corner giving out shreds of the new Testament? We have an elite few devotees, but we need more. We are Touro’s student body mouthpiece. Instead of a weak whisper, there should be warrior shouts against the fossilization of the written word.

Dina draws literary inspiration from Beowulf. She prays dinosaurs are similar enough to Grendel. Show your support, email touronp@gmail.com.

SO, you’re leaving Touro. You’re making that giant leap into the outside world, have less structure than you’re accustomed to, and are

now engrossed in figuring out what to do with the rest of your life. Wow, major life crossing ahead -- caution and careful planning advised.

For those who wish to pursue higher forms of ed-ucation, now is the time to make that final decision, or finish applying, if you haven’t already. For some, leaving Touro involves leaving the state of new York and moving to an entirely new place, now that you’re finishing your college degree. The out-of-towners, having graced Touro’s halls the last few years, may return home. Some elect to stay, as they appreciate the lifestyle of a brooklyner or new Yorker. How-ever, some, like me, move to Israel, where a whole new life awaits.

Searching for a graduate program is always hard; overseas, it can be doubly difficult. Thorough inves-

tigation of graduate schools is then necessary. If you are considering Israel as your next stop, then read on for some of the available choices and a bit of my guidance.

Haifa boasts Technion; Hebrew University is perfect for those in Jerusalem; or bar Ilan Univer-sity, if you’re located in or near ramat Gan. There are also specialized institutes located around Israel- in the Galil, or Ashdod -- usually branches of major universities, like bar Ilan. In addition, there are many colleges specifically geared to the needs of the reli-gious Jewish community, like Touro Israel, Machon Tal and its counterparts, or the Jerusalem College of Technology. Maalot at the neve Campus offers sev-eral options to students as well, and there are always short courses advertised that can offer certificates in various areas, such as computers, or office manage-ment.

The next step, if the colleges in the area where you plan to reside don’t appeal, is to look for an on-line or correspondence degree. An internet search will

usually yield a few masters’ or bachelor’s degrees online that correlate with the field of your choice. Just make sure that they are accredited colleges, and that they have some standing in your chosen field. Correspondence courses are abound, with raizel Wright being the most famous in new York, and

By Efrat Gordon-Grunin

Op-Ed

Graduate Schools Worldwide

War on Literate dinosaursBy Dina Kupfer

Continued on page 6

S P r I n G 2 0 0 94

Student Center

MOnDAY, April 20th, a false alarm sound-ed during the first-

period classes. everyone was instructed to exit the building immediately, but according to the security guard, “Many did not leave.” reasons for refus-ing to exit included the in-clement weather. The rain was heavy, and exiting meant get-ting stuck in the rain until the fire department arrived. In ad-dition, many instructors were aware the alarm was false: “I did not smell smoke or see fire” said one, and so did not

want to disrupt their classes in session. Thus, they informed their students to ignore the bell. “Some students who were on the third floor claimed they did not hear the alarm sound, which is ridiculous, as those who were on the fourth floor told me they heard it loud and clear,” the security guard said. The fire department arrived shortly after, and confirmed there was no fire. Although the culprit who caused this by set-ting off the alarm has not been identified, the scare brought about a warning. It is clear that fire-safety procedures must be better enforced in case, G-d forbid, a real fire breaks

out. Having half the students remain in the building as the alarm sounds is a clear dan-ger. Some of the correct fire-behavior procedures include:

• Installing and main-taining proper smoke alarm systems.

• Knowing the layout of your floor and the nearest fire exit before there is warning of a fire.

• Keeping hallways clear. In case there is a fire and people need to exit, the last thing needed is a hallway full of obstacles for people to trip on.

• Getting everyone out of the building in an organized

fashion as quickly as possible when the fire alarm sounds. There is no need to run and panic when hearing the alarm, just quickly walk toward the nearest exit.

• Alerting others who may not have heard the alarm (or those who are too en-grossed in something else to notice) that there is a fire, and instructing them to exit the building.

• Calling the fire depart-ment as soon as possible when one is at a safe place away from the fire.

• Never returning to a burning building for any pos-sessions.

For a full listing of cor-rect fire evacuation proce-dures, visit the new York Fire Department’s Website: http://www.nyc.gov/html/fdny/html/home2.shtml.

TOUrO College’s Insti-tute on Human rights and the Holocaust

commemorated Holocaust re-membrance Day with a panel discussion on anti-Semitism that included some of the world’s most distinguished scholars, activists, and human rights authorities. Participat-ing in the panel, which was held at the United nations in Geneva, were writer elie Wi-esel, actor Jon Voight, Profes-sor Alan Dershowitz, activ-ist natan Sharansky, author Shelby Steele, and Father Pat-rick Desbois, a French Catho-lic priest who leads a team of interviewers through Ukraine and belarus in search of Jew-ish mass graves from World War II. Over 150 people at-tended the event, which was titled “Anti-Semitism in the Here and now.”

Holocaust remembrance Day coincided with the Un’s week-long Durban review Conference, which was in-tended to combat racism. The

Conference drew criticism and sparked protests when it featured a speech from the controversial President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on its opening day. The panelists at the Touro event discussed modern forms of anti-Semi-tism and President Ahmadine-jad’s controversial Un appear-ance the previous day.

Commented writer and political activist eli Wiesel: “Here we are now in the United nations, an organization creat-

ed at the response to the atrocities of the Second World War, and we have to protest against an anti-Semitic speech delivered by the head of Iran.” Actor Jon Voight added: “We’re witness-ing a new type of Holocaust, and we, good people of all faiths, should ex-press outrage and

demand the truth be heard.” “Anti-Semitism thrives on distortion with the historical record of the kind we heard yesterday from Ahmadinejad,” said Harvard Law School Pro-fessor Alan Dershowitz. “The fact that Ahmadinejad was the first and major and most-covered speaker at this confer-ence was an accurate reflec-tion of what this conference is all about.” Shelby Steele observed that “Anti-Semitism is an expression of bad faith.

That is what it always is, an expression of bad faith.” Fa-ther Patrick Desbois told the audience, “Anti-Semitism will never die. It’s why people of good will must stand and be strong together.”

“I have a frightening feel-ing that already the world of my past is coming back…I feel it here when the fight against racism means first and foremost a fight against Israel,” said long-time human

rights activist natan Sharan-sky. Ms. bayefsky, director of the Touro Institute on Human rights and the Holocaust, not-ed that “On the anniversary of Hitler’s birthday and the eve of Holocaust remembrance Day, the Un has given a voice to a person who denies the Ho-locaust itself while preparing another genocidal assault on the Jewish nation. This is en-couraging anti-Semitism, not combating it.”

By Leah Lebel

Fire Scare at touro

Coming together to Recall the Past and Warn the Future

To the esteemed, reliable, indispensable TCRT staff:Thanks for making it happen, time and again.

Dina Kupfer, EIC

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 5

Meet the Professor

PrOFeSSOr LAnGer is a full-time staff mem-ber of Touro’s Business

and Accounting Department. He teaches a wide variety of courses to both men and wom-en at Touro’s Avenue J Campus, including cost accounting, au-diting, intermediate account-ing, taxation, and government and not-for-profit accounting.

How did you come to join the accounting field?

I guess I married into it. My father-in-law had an ac-counting firm in New York and encouraged me to go into it. I was originally in Toronto (there is a great healthcare sys-tem there by the way), and I moved here in 1985. I went on to study for the CPA exam in 1989.

Do you prefer accounting more than your previous pro-fession?

In Toronto I was teaching, full-time and then part-time, but I always enjoyed it. Once I moved, I missed it. I went to graduate school at brook-lyn College and they asked me to teach a class there and I enjoyed it. I taught there part-time while I was working. I happen to like teaching more than actual accounting work. I always say: “It’s easier to get along with students than with clients.” In 2001, I was asked to work at Touro College and was eventually offered a full-time position, which I happily agreed to.

How did you become affili-ated with Touro?

I got a phone call. Some-one in Touro must have got-

ten my name from someone in brooklyn College. As a grow-ing school, they were looking for more teachers. I was inter-viewed by Dean bressler, Pro-fessor Sklar, and Dean boylan. I began teaching at Touro and haven’t regretted it since.

Of the many accounting courses you teach, which do you most prefer?

It’s hard to choose. I en-

joy teaching cost accounting because it was the first class I taught at brooklyn College. I also enjoy the two tax courses because the material is con-stantly changing – in terms of work and teaching – and you have to keep up with it.

Do you find teaching the men or the women more re-warding?

I enjoy both. but there is something I noticed; the wom-en sometimes come over and say thank you, which gives me a good feeling afterwards.

What do you enjoy most about teaching at Touro?

I enjoy meeting former graduates and having them tell me about their work expe-rience – it’s part of the learn-ing process. Something that I didn’t like at first, but do now, is being stumped by students’

questions. I try to look up the answers and, in the process, discover new things.

What would you like to say to the student body at large?

Accounting is both a very useful and needed profession. There are accounting firms, but also individual businesses that need people to handle their finances. There is always a call for accountants. There are many options open after graduation. You can work in an accounting practice or even a regular family business. The job can be fulfilling, but you have to keep up to date with the various rules and regulations in this ever changing field.

Tova is currently pursu-ing an undergraduate degree in accounting and has had the pleasure of being in several of Professor Langer’s classes.

YOU may have spotted him in the halls, pur-posely striding toward

class or weaving his way be-tween students and book bags. Sunglasses in hand, and a glint in his eyes, meet Touro’s Prin-ciples of Marketing professor, Professor B. Tomsky.

Rabbi Boaz Tomsky was born and raised in a rural com-munity in New London, Con-necticut. He earned his high school diploma at Ner Israel in Baltimore, Maryland. From there, Rabbi Tomsky went to the Talmudic University of Florida and learned under the direction of Rabbi Yochanan Zweig for nine years. During this time, Rabbi Tomsky was an active member of the Miami Beach Chevra Kadisha. He attended Barry University where he re-ceived a Masters of Business Administration with a concen-tration of Finance. He received his S’micha from the Yeshiva

in 1998 and subsequently ac-cepted his first position as rabbi at Congregation Beth Abraham in Bangor, Maine. While in Maine, Rabbi Tomsky was a professor at Husson and Beal College, teaching a range of subject matter including Ac-counting, Finance, Marketing, Business Mathematics and American Sign Language.

Rabbi Tomsky then moved south where he accepted many responsibilities throughout New England. He was the rabbi at Congregation Ohawe Sholam in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. In addition, he was a professor at the University of New Haven and was the student activities coordinator and middle school Judaic studies instructor at Bi-Cultural Day School.

In 2007, Rabbi Tomsky be-came Rabbi Dr. Boaz Tomsky, earning a doctorate in edu-cational leadership from the University of Hartford. His dissertation is entitled: Admin-istrators’ Perceptions of Cur-riculum Integration within Jew-

ish community day schools. A word with the Profes-

sor:CSB: Let’s start right from

the bottom. What would you say is your favorite pair of shoes?

PbT: Well I never put too much thought into the type of shoes that I own; perhaps be-cause I actually have only few of them (can you believe such a thing?) I have a pair of Crocs which I am looking forward to using on my daily strolls to

the beach which is right in my backyard. I like clothes that can be cleaned simply with a hose. My favorite shoes, though, are my dress shoes. I like them because they are black and as I was told they match every-thing. Whether I am at school teaching in my suit or dressed casually in a pair of jeans, they match.

CSB: In a different lifetime, what would be your choice oc-cupation?

PbT: I always longed to be an astronaut. I am fasci-nated with space and love to take calculated risks and am al-ways up for an adventure. I am not afraid of heights as I have skydived before and would do anything to make it to the moon (and back).

CSB: What do you like to do in your free time?

PbT: I love all sorts of sports and outside activities. For example, if you wondered why on the first Sunday of May there were so many closed highways, it was because of

the 5 borough bike tour, which I never miss (except for one year when it fell on the eighth day of Pesach). It was pour-ing and the rain went through my poncho but it didn’t matter. The feeling of accomplishment is so amazing and invigorat-ing! Don’t get me wrong, next year I’ll hope for a bright sun-shiny day. I look forward to the summer months when I get to ride my bike on the boardwalk nearby my home and just ad-mire the breath taking view of the ocean and the beach.

CSB: What do you feel is the greatest challenge facing a college student today?

PbT: As individuals, we certainly have our unique chal-lenges but I would have to ad-dress the question of our cur-rent economy. Many students are concerned about what life will be like after college and if there is any point to continuing in their studies. My advice is to not only continue in the under-graduate program but to seri-

Meet Professor Ben Langer

Meet Professor Boaz tomsky

By Tova Snitzer

By Chaya S. Bleier

Continued on page 8

S P r I n G 2 0 0 96

Sports

health Science Society

eACH professional ath-lete owns a unique personality which has

brought him to where he is now. The strength of an ath-lete’s personality is usually a clear indicator of how domi-nant the player will be in his sport.

The make-up of a profes-sional athlete’s personality includes his intensity, excite-ment, passion, and obsession. every athlete possesses some of these qualities, whether he is the best at the sport or the worst. There is no way a per-son can win such competitive sports and make it to the status of a professional athlete if he does not have some of these characteristics. A person can be born with immense talent, but that will not be enough to make one a leader in his re-spective sport.

An example of someone containing this type of per-

sonality is Zack Greinke, one of the best pitchers in base-ball. He would sometimes buy guacamole from a small shop which sold the dip for $1.50 per serving. When the shop raised the price of the guacamole by 30 cents, Greinke said, “I like the guacamole. now, I don’t really love the guacamole. So I get it when I feel like it. They changed their guacamole from $1.50 to $1.80.... and I’ll never again get guacamole.” When Grienke was reminded that he just signed a $38 million contract he said, “It’s not about the gua-camole itself, I just don’t want to let them win.”

Winning teams share these characteristics as well. These qualities are part of what makes sports ex-citing and unpredictable.

There are many people in sports who are infamous for

various reasons, be it for ste-roids, prison, drugs, or shoot-ing one’s self in the leg.

Alex rodriguez, Michael Vick, barry bonds, Plaxico

burress, Mark McGuire, ran-dy Moss, Dennis rodman, John rocker, Kobe bryant, Lawrence Taylor, ron Artest,

Manny ramirez, Terrell Ow-ens, ricky Williams, and Chad Johnson are all names that are associated with an assorted va-riety of mischievous deeds that

have been thorns to their teams, their communities, and even themselves. The list can go on for pages, each player with his own set of antics. What you would find to be a com-mon factor with all of these players, though, is that each one has made a significant contribution to the respective sport that he plays. each one of these athletes has a strong sense of intensity, excite-ment, passion, and ob-session. Without a drive to be the best, a person would never make it in the “dog eat dog world” of sports. It is this drive

that brought these talented individuals to the stage they find themselves in; and it is this also drive that causes one

to take steroids, fight with a quarterback when a ball is not thrown to them, or kick a cam-eraman for being in the way of a play.

There are few who have this intensity burning inside their heart and do succeed, but they are the exceptions, not the rule.

I am not giving justifica-tion to the way these “grown men” have acted, and I am not condoning their behavior. Clearly, they set a bad exam-ple for young aspiring athletes. Many say that such players do not belong on any team, in spite of their tremendous ca-pabilities. but if I were to cre-ate a professional sports team, these would be the person-alities that I would search for first. For there is nothing more satisfying than winning.

Moshe never likes when a losing team complains about the better team running up the score – play harder and they wouldn’t be able to.

Sports, Power, and PoliticsBy Moshe Weiss

The Touro Health Science So-ciety is pleased to announce its

newly elected members.

President:Chana GreenYechiel Weiss

Vice President:Aura Lagnado

Shlomo Halberstam

Secretary:Sara Brummer

Jason Shaya Freidman

Keep an eye out for more events in the future!

Graduate Schools Worldwide

Open University as another option for a UK or european degree. (As lucky Americans we graduate with only 120 credits, while they need 360!) If you already have a degree, then some online schools will offer further courses to en-hance your credentials. For example, if you have a nursing degree, there is an M.A. online for practicing nurses.

In order to figure out how to actu-ally apply to these s c h o o l s , or if more informa-tion is

needed after exhausting those resources, you might email the colleges involved in the deci-sion, or phone them if no email is listed. It may take some time to get in contact with them and find out the requirements for entry, but it will happen soon-er or later (preferably sooner). Some foreign colleges teach in the language of their coun-try, so they will require a test to see if you have the basic skills, or offer you lessons in that language to be completed as a co-requisite to your stud-ies there. Some require Gre scores or other American tests, and some require that you find a professor or teacher in that country to supervise your

work. Clearly, the process takes much time, effort, and planning.

Hopefully, you’ll find the program of your dreams and be able to set-tle in the country of your choice. remember that it may take time to adjust to a new place and setting, but eventually, you will be able to work your way into the new society, both academi-cally and socially. I wish you the best of luck.

Efrat Gordon~Grunin, a biology graduate of Touro College, is working on her acceptance to a graduate program in Israel, where she currently resides.

Continued from page 3

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 7

Around Campus

THe recent meeting of the Touro College ACM (Computer) Soci-

ety was a resounding success. A large group of students, pro-fessors, and even a representa-tion of devoted Touro alumnae enjoyed a variety of refresh-ments and a rare opportunity to socialize with like-minded stu-dents. Our very own Professor Andrew Schwimmer wowed the audience with a fascinat-ing presentation on multiple topics. He stressed the impor-tance of constant learning for computer professionals. Since the IT field is wide-ranging and changes rapidly, it is near-ly impossible for any school to teach its students everything

they need to know. As an ex-ample, Professor Schwimmer pointed to Google, which was not even around when he was a student but has profoundly changed the way we use the In-ternet. Similarly, much of what students are currently learning will soon become obsolete. In their place, new technologies will be introduced, revolution-izing the world of Information Technology. There is also so much computer knowledge out there that it is nearly im-possible for any school to keep students fully up to date on the most current technologies. Therefore, schools focus on certain fundamental concepts and hope that they are giv-ing students the tools neces-sary to learn the rest on their own. Professor Schwimmer

stressed this to his audience. He also encouraged them to keep up to date with the latest developments in the field and

to teach themselves languages and skills that are not part of the official syllabus.

The second part of Profes-

sor Schwimmer’s talk focused on a subject near to many a senior’s heart – computer job interviews, which are different from those in nearly any other field. He kept his audience en-gaged by laying out various questions regularly asked by large companies ranging from Google to Microsoft. He also discussed the ACM program-ming contests, in which teams of students compete to discover who can find the best solutions to the most problems within a short time period. He spoke about his own experience in the contest and distributed real programming challenges from past years for attendees to try.

The last part of his chat was a brief discussion on writ-ing applications for Android-based mobile phones, an area

in which he excels. The pro-fessor ended his presentation by challenging the students to get involved with extracur-ricular computer activities, to learn new things and develop their skills outside the class-room, and an exhortation to the administration to provide an environment that fosters student creativity and innova-tion, both inside the classroom and out.

Special thanks to Profes-sors Fink and Morgulis for their help in organizing the event. Bluma Gottesman is president of the Touro ACM (Computer) society. For more information on this or future events, contact touroacm@gmail.com.

Computer CrowdBy Bluma Gottesman

THe 109th annual American Society for Microbiology conven-

tion was held in Philadelphia, PA in May 2009, with eager Touro students in attendance. rivka borger, Dina Kupfer, Abby Moskowitz, Henya Sandhaus, Max Shenberger, and Yechiel Weiss work in Dr. Schiffenbauer’s microbiology laboratory at Pace University and were invited to present

their research findings on the antimicrobial effects of poly-phenol and of white tea.

For over a year, these stu-dents have tested the effects of polyphenols, a natural ingre-dient found in teas and fruits, and white tea on eleven strains of bacteria. They found that both white tea, which is high in polyphenol concentration, and pure white tea polyphenol are very effective in killing numerous varieties of disease-

causing bacteria. “The event is like a sci-

ence-fair for geniuses. It was really neat being there,” said one of the Touro students. In-deed, the convention features hundreds of presentations from microbiology laboratories and universities across the world. The vast array of research represented at the convention was overwhelming and awe-inspiring, as it truly demon-strated the depth of knowledge in the field of microbiology. At the same time, it conveyed the many unanswered questions and hypothesis whose answers are sought out in laboratories around the globe.

Most of the research pa-pers presented at the conven-tion were at the graduate level. The work of the Touro students was one of the few undergrad-uate research papers presented at the convention.

The Massacre of the Jews of Lithuania has received praise from the former executive Director of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, Dr. Michael beren-baum. The author, Dr. Sutton, is currently giving talks on the role of the collaborator in the Holocaust. She uses the example of the Lithuanians in examining how and why lo-cal national leaders and populace actively participated in the Final Solutions and explores the range of options.

On the Road to Philadelphia, the aSM Convention

Book Release by

touro ProfessorBy Abby Moskowitz and Dr. Milton Schiffenbauer

S P r I n G 2 0 0 98

AnYOne in Touro who is watching their weight undoubtedly

has tried the Diet Muffins from Meir’s Heimeshe bakery on Avenue J and east 13th Street. These fat-free, no-sugar-added specialties come in so many different varieties. They have everyone hooked! They are available in miniature, low-carb, and of course, in their original form--which comes in over sixty flavors. Whether enjoyed in blueberry, choco-late chip, corn, or in an exotic flavor, these diet muffins give

consumers who are trying to watch their weight the ability to indulge sensibly, without all the unneeded calories that reg-ular muffins normally contain.

According to Meir, the owner of Meir’s Heimeshe bakery, the original-size muffins contain approxi-mately 180-200 calories each (depending on the flavor), which is about half the calo-ries a regular muffin of the same size normally has. The mini-ones, obvi-ously, have proportionally fewer calories. The muffins are sweetened naturally with fruit juice and do not contain

artificial sugar-substitutes.* Although Meir claims

there is no best-selling fla-vor, according to an unofficial student poll taken in t h e

student lounge, the chocolate-chip, and double-chocolate-chip varieties are extremely popular among Touro stu-dents. The bakery also offers a half-and-half option, which is half chocolate-chip and half

double chocolate-chip (also known as marble muf-

fins), for those who can’t decide which one to choose (a di-lemma I frequently encounter). While

muffins may be the form most people con-

sume this tasty treat in, the batter can be made

into cakes, cookies, and even biscotti upon special

request. Obviously, the answer to:

“How do they get them to taste so good?” will have to remain a secret, but one thing is no se-cret: They are by far the most popular baked goods eaten by Touro students, and coupled with a diet iced-coffee or diet milk-shake, they make the per-fect breakfast or snack.

*Note: The original-size and mini muffins do not con-tain sugar-substitutes; howev-er, the low-carb variety muf-fins do.

Leah can often be found munching a double-choco-late-chip muffin in the student lounge.

ously consider advancing your education at Touro’s graduate school. My advice has always been to never stop learning. Once one finishes their Associ-ates or bachelors degree, you may be enticed to take a much deserved break from the pres-sures of school with the self promise that after some time you’ll go back to grad school. The reality is that life happens and life often doesn’t get any easier for two reasons. First, now that you are in school, you are in a groove. Once you stop, it is hard to pick up again. Secondly, many young men and women are develop-ing their interpersonal relation-ships which potentially will lead to marriage, children, and yeshiva tuition! One’s respon-sibilities get bigger and bigger, and before you know it, you’ll wake up and be 50! I know this because I was the youngest in my Doctoral program and ev-eryone in my cohort expressed these sentiments. They were going to take off a semester or two but they ended up being so consumed by their lives and all of their responsibilities that

they never kept their promise to themselves until much later in their lives. My unsolicited advice is to just keep going in your schooling and before you know it, you’ll have many more opportunities and options to choose from upon gradua-tion, as the economy will im-prove. At times, it may seem like a daunting task but don’t look at the whole picture. It’s like when I was riding my bike on the Verrazano bridge. You need to look at the front tire only. If you keep looking all the way to the top of the hill, you are bound to lose steam and just give up. Take small steps and before you know it, when you turn around you’ll realize that you’ve climbed a mountain. Lastly, only sur-round yourself around positive people. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you can’t re-alize your dreams or that a par-ticular program or discipline is too difficult or you. You can do it and you will! Just stay fo-cused and stay positive. With the right attitude and ambition, you can accomplish anything in life.

CSB: Which of the follow-ing characters can you most

relate to and why? A) Gandhi b) Buzz Lightyear c) Morde-chai Ben David?

PbT: Well this is a tough one as all three call to me. Gan-dhi, because I am a spiritual person who wishes to make a positive impact in the world, Mordechai ben David because I love all sorts of music - but I’d have to choose buzz Light-year. If my movie knowledge serves me well, I believe his signature line is “To Infinity and beyond!” What a great at-titude that we must all try to adopt and incorporate in our lives. Often our biggest ad-versary is ourselves as we set limitations and barriers for ourselves. We are often satis-fied with the status quo and are reluctant to take risks or em-brace change because of such fears. We must emulate good old buzz Lightyear and remind ourselves continuously that we can be whatever we want to be and that we can achieve what-ever we want to, all the way to infinity and beyond!

CSB: What brought you to teach at Touro College?

PbT: Touro is the fourth college/university I’ve taught in. It is a very special and

unique school which many of you may not be familiar with since you were not exposed to other colleges. First off, the administration and teachers really care about the students. They are not merely a number but rather treated as individuals with individual needs. I enjoy being part of a program that recognizes the Jewish holidays. In my past positions, a fall se-mester could turn disastrous when Yom Tov would fall out on a particular day that causes you to cancel a few weeks in a row. This is even more trouble-some for a student in a college that is not receptive to your needing to take off these holi-days. even the most dedicated student struggles during these semesters. Most importantly, I feel more welcome and com-fortable in an environment that both embraces sophistication in a secular education and yet also provides a comfortable environment for the observant student. Touro shows the Jew-ish world that you can advance in your academic career with-out having to compromise on ones religious beliefs.

CSB: Which language would you most like to learn?

PbT: I once taught Ameri-can Sign Language when I was a professor in bangor, Maine. It was a fun class that was both interactive and engaging. I be-came proficient in ASL when I was in ner Israel for High School and one of my class-mates was deaf. He had an in-terpreter for only a few hours a day. I chose to learn with him as a study partner. I gradually picked up enough to get by and eventually assisted in the class-room as an interpreter…but that was a very long time ago. I haven’t taught ASL for about ten years now and if you don’t use it, you lose it.

CSB: Make your own end-ing to the sentence: “Mary had a little lamb_____”

PbT: Mary had a little lamb….until I ate my favorite food on my George Forman Grill - Lamb Chops! I am cer-tainly a meat and potatoes man and when I think of “PeTA” I don’t think of the acronym, (the People for the ethical Treat-ment of Animals.) To me, it is a type of bread that holds my Shwarma. Sorry Mary!

Some of Professor Tom-sky’s favorite things: Milk Duds; Seltzer

Food Court

By Leah Lebel

A Muffin a Day Keeps the Cravings Away

Meet Professor Boaz tomskyContinued from page 5

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 9

Poetry Page

She used to visit Flatbush for shopping, Now she comes for learning.She used to reside at home, Now she lives on the Q train.She used to fret over her driver’s license, Now she guards her Student ID card.

She used to stay out of family finances, Now she handles The Bursar.She used to get Macy’s catalogues, Now she receives The Fall Schedule.She used to use her computer in the den, Now she uses C1.

She used to have free time, Now she has Pizza Time.She used to eat in a dining room, Now she dines in the students’ lounge.She used to count calories, Now she calculates joules.

She used to trust idealism, Now she believes in ideologies.She used to read John Grisham, Now she studies Virgil’s Aeneid.She used to be curled up in bed by 10, Now she’s in Lit I until 10:20.

She used to have a regents diploma, Now she also has a bachelor’s.She used to be a seminary student, Now she’s almost s Touro alumnus.All in three sweet years.

As you travel through lifeAnd all seems carefree,With no bumps on the road,As many agree – Do you know yourself?

As you travel through lifeAnd you come ‘cross a thorn,Just a prick – then it’s gone,But part of you is torn – Do you know yourself?

As you travel through lifeAnd you’re caught in a storm,The thunder; the crashing,The loneliness formed --Do you still know yourself?

As you travel through lifeYet you seem so unsure,The future seems bleak,And you feel insecure –Yet you know yourself.

As you travel through life

Many obstacles faced.Yet you rise to the challenge,Now the world’s a good place –Since you know yourself.

As you travel through life,And your faith is renewed,As you see the results, From the good you pursued –Since you know yourself.

As you travel through lifeAnd you try to believe,That you can accomplish,All you wish to achieve --Because you know yourself.

And as life travels byLook at what you have wonTraversing all evil,You’ve done what you’ve done,Only because you know your-self.

Contentment is waking up daily to a sunrise,Contentment is collecting seashells by the beach,Contentment is watching a beautiful sunset,Contentment is to learn in a classroom and to teach.

Contentment is treasuring life’s essentials and not luxuries,Contentment is counting blessings and not monetary wealth,Contentment is a safe, cozy home and food on the table,Contentment is family, friends, and especially good health!

the Reformation Getting to know YOU

By Dina Kupfer By Rivka H. Borger

By Professor S. Siegel

Contentment is happiness and happiness is

Contentment

S P r I n G 2 0 0 910

Around Campus

MOSQUeTerOS is a wonderful exhi-bition of Pablo Pi-

casso’s work in the Gagosian Art Gallery open until June 6, 2009. All of the paintings pre-sented are from the last years of the artist’s life, making this exhibition very unique. In fact, it is the first event in the United States to focus on the late paintings of Pica-sso since “Picasso: The Last Years: 1963-1973,” featured at the Solomon r. Guggen-

heim Museum in 1984. One important figure that appears in Picasso’s later works is Jacqueline roque. She was the inspiration, wife, and con-stant companion of Picasso at the time.

John richardson is the curator and Dakin Hart. rich-ardson is Picasso’s celebrated biographer, whose third vol-ume of “A Life of Picasso” was published in 2007. Dakin Hart is the former Assistant Director of the nasher Sculp-ture Center in Dallas and a Ph.D. scholar working on Pi-casso at the Institute of Fine

Arts in new York. An exten-sively illustrated book, with essays by John richardson, Dakin Hart, Memory Hollo-way (Assistant Professor in Art History at the University of Massachusetts, Dartmouth) and artist Jeff Koons, will be published to accompany the exhibition. Several important but previously untranslated texts from the seventies will complete this vital resource on Picasso’s late work. The exhibition design is by new York-based architect Anna-belle Selldorf.

The Gagosian Art Gallery is

located in Chelsea at 552 W 21 ST and it welcomes visitors Monday through Saturday. Don’t miss out on a chance to explore Picasso’s most extravagant works.

Anastasia has saved her ten dol-lars for the art fair.

Scope art Fair In new York

THe Museum of Mod-ern Art in nYC is the largest modern art

museum in the world. People from around the globe come to be inspired by the masterpiec-es exhibited on the vast white walls of the MoMA.

new York City wasn’t always the art center of the world. During the 1930s-40s, focus shifted from Paris, the traditional home of art and artists, to new York, bringing with it many contemporary artists who redefined art.

Modern art doesn’t speak to everyone, and it did not speak to me until my recent trip to the MoMA with the Touro Art Club. We joined the throngs of spectators on a quest for artis-tic enlightenment. We started our trip on the fifth floor, in front of Monet’s painting, Wa-ter Lilies. It is a magnificent piece of his pond, comprised of three wall-sized canvases. His skilled use of complemen-tary colors gives tremendous

depth to the picture. We made our way into the next gallery and came upon the minimalist works of Piet Mondrian. With Professor Grenadir’s commen-tary, the artwork actually came to life. The black lines and se-quence of squares and colors made sense. One of his more striking works is broadway boogie-Woogie. The bold yel-low, red, and blue squares and lines really make you want to dance.

We continued through the galleries and saw the outstand-

ing works of Pablo Picasso, Kazimir Malevich, Giorgio de Chirico and many other revo-lutionary artists of the twenti-eth century. From Cubism and Suprematism to Surrealism, these artists broke away from nineteenth-century Impres-sionism and realism. They moved away from realistic art and into the abstract world of the unconscious.

Professor Grenadir had strong feelings for the French artists such as Henri Matisse. “French know color; it’s in

their bones. They just know how to paint!”

A personal favorite was Christina’s World, painted in 1948 by Andrew Wyeth. From the strands of hair on the woman’s head right down to the creases of her knuckles, it was painted with such accurate detail that it could have been a photograph.

On the fourth floor, we came upon the works of Jack-son Pollack. Pollack is said to be the father of Modern Ab-straction. He believed that the

process of painting was more important than the results. One: number 31 is a wall-sized painting of his that looks like splattered paint. We won-dered what qualified this as art. “This is very difficult [to paint], physically it’s very dif-ficult. It’s balanced perfectly, there is depth, there is light, and there is incredible move-ment. no one area is heavier than another. The paint is evenly distributed,” Professor Grenadir explained.

With twenty minutes to spare, we ran up to the sixth floor to the Tangled Alphabet exhibit, featuring the works of Leon Ferrari and Mira Schen-del. It was the first time their works were on exhibition in the United States. There was a lot of writing distributed in their works and they had de-tailed sculptures and collages as well as drawings and paint-ings on display.

It was a fascinating trip and the Art Club had a great time. We’re looking forward to the next museum. How about the Louvre?

art Club in actionBy Ricki Mugrabi

By Anastasia Antonenko

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 11

Around Campus

In their efforts to begin searching for candidates to form an LAS branch club,

the Touro Manhattan Market-ing Club arranged for Dr. ben rabizadeh, the CeO of Frum-ster, LLC, to come speak about “business and the Internet.” On May 5, 2009, from 7:15 to 8:15, Touro students planning to major in business, gathered in the student lounge to hear Dr. rabizadeh.

He started off speaking about his personal background. ben rabizadeh’s holds a col-lege degree, surprisingly, in pharmacy. He decided that the best thing to do before he be-gan “investing,” in the inter-net business, was to ensure he had something to fall back on if his investing ventures ever failed. (Little did he know

how unnecessary this was due to his subsequent success with Frumster.com)

After describing his two popular websites: Frumster and JWed, Dr. rabizadeh clar-ified common misconceptions people have towards internet businesses. Included in these mistaken beliefs are thoughts such as, “There is nothing to do once a site is created. A website just sits there and takes care of itself,” and “All one has to do is be first to market something and he/she will become an instant millionaire.” He ex-plained that a website must be maintained twenty-four hours a day. This may entail even more involvement than regu-lar stores, which have specific hours of operation. Dr. rabi-zadeh also recommends mar-

keting a product after others have already done so, in order to learn from their mistakes. In fact, the first internet provider was a company called Prodigy, which failed miserably. The failure of Prodigy; however, allowed AOL to learn form its mistakes and become success-ful.

Toward the end of his lec-ture, before he gave people the opportunity to ask him ques-tions, Dr. rabizadeh provided some useful tips for internet businesses, as well as general business advice. His tips for internet businesses included staying technologically cur-rent and being prepared to constantly improve the busi-ness’ service to stay ahead of competition. Frumster’s suc-cess was largely due to the fact that the site caters to its cus-tomer’s needs. A frum social networking dating site opened

to rival the existing JDate, which allowed membership from people of any religion. Other general business tips Dr. rabizadeh provided includes: focusing on one venture at a time, in order to focus one’s full attention on it , saving money in prosperous times to prepare for economic down-turn, and keeping customers happy to prevent losing them to competition. He also noted that it is best to marketing a

good product.So to all the science (and

other) majors out there, you may just end up working in the business field. As the motto for the new York Lotto goes, “Hey, you never know.”

Tamar is currently an ac-counting major at Touro’s Ave. J campus. Who knows? May-be she’ll end up working at a pharmacy!

TO most of us college students, term papers are the bane of our exis-

tence, something we all dread, or at least do not excitedly an-ticipate. That was my attitude, until I was assigned a history term paper that I chose to do on Galileo, because I find physics fascinating. I discovered there are several ways that can make term papers less of a “bane” and more of a thrill.

Firstly, when you have a term paper to write, do not look for the easiest topic, but rather for a topic you are truly interested in. If it seems that there are no interesting topics available, this might be be-cause you do not know much about them. It would be a good idea to lightly skim through several topics online, and then

choose one that you find most intriguing.

Secondly, the Internet is great for research, but nothing truly compares to read-ing a few solid books on the topic and be-ing able to really learn about your subject. While writing about Galileo Galilei, I took out four books and read all of them. not only did I learn a lot about his life and his accomplishments, but I was also exposed to different viewpoints on his life, and his dif-ferent contributions to science. It was consid-erably easier to write a good paper when I re-ally knew what I was

talking about. When I had originally

heard Galileo’s name, I vague-ly remembered him as a sci-entist who fought with the Church about the Copernican theory and lost. Most people

consign him to the back of their brains, thinking he has no bearing whatsoever on us today. That is incorrect, and and through researching I dis-covered exactly how wrong I was.

You know the Law of Inertia that you learned about in sixth grade? That’s Galileo’s Law of Iner-tia, and it actually ex-plains the reason you are thrown forward when a car shortstops. Do you remember the parabola from Math b? That’s Galileo’s too. And the Coperni-can theory he believed in and validated is one that is very pertinent to us. It states that the earth revolves around the sun and not the

other way around. Let’s not forget the scientific method, which is based on the belief that truth can only be attained through observation and ex-periment. Galileo Galilei was the one who fostered that be-lief and thus became the “Fa-ther of Modern Science.”

My solid research made me realize Galileo is not just some ancient scientist, but that his discoveries are highly relevant. The point of a term paper is for you to learn about your subject and learn how to research, and through that, I discovered that what once seemed to be a fact of ancient history actually has bearing on our lives today Hopefully, these two pointers on papers will help turn the experience into an enjoyable and enlight-ening one, as it did for me. Good luck.

Business and the Internet

Once Upon a time it was a Bore

By Tamar Merl

By Cipi Steinmetz and Efrat Gordon-Grunin

S P r I n G 2 0 0 912

In recent shocking news, the price of green coffee beans has risen 22% this

year. For those of us who drink coffee regularly, a switch to tea may be in order. Figur-ing we would be trendsetters, the humor department made the switch. While sipping tea and flipping through the news channels, we here at the humor desk of the round Table(which is square) came across a star-tling announcement. We were so surprised, we hid under our desks – however, due to budget cuts, there is only one desk for ten of us who toil away in the sub-basement of Touro trying in vain to come up with ways to make tired, hungry, and dis-interested students smile.

The reason for our con-cern was the pronouncement by prominent individuals that Americans should take up arms and revolt! Viva la revolucion, baby! According to rush Lim-baugh’s devoted following and Mr. Hannity’s constituents, and the rest of the conserva-tive movement (including Mrs. Gladys Limburger, retired op-tician), we are now facing a situation of taxation without representation; our President is taxing us unfairly, and we have no representatives to explain to him that we don’t want such taxes. So we have no choice anymore – like our Found-ing Fathers, we need to rebel against the yoke of tyranny. On tax day, an estimated quarter million Americans in hundreds of cities congregated to create a nationwide Tea Party! no tea

was served, nor was there any dumped into the ocean, simply because these parties weren’t anywhere near the oceans. In fact, there wasn’t much of a party at all. It was just a bunch of speeches and chanting. Tex-as Gov. rick Perry announced at Austin City Hall his stance against the federal government, as some in his U.S. flag-waving audience shouted, "Secede!" At a rally at the Iowa Capitol, many of the about 1,000 people wore red shirts declaring "rev-olution is brewing."

This protest was eagerly aired by Fox news, which high-lighted calls for revolution from many influential and obviously important speakers (because they were speaking). In addi-tion to their fair, balanced, and completely unbiased reporting, Fox also promoted attendance at these events, and sent its top news teams around the country to these protests. Morning host Megyn Kelly announced that the day was for “protest from sea to shining sea” (we assume the shining sea is the Atlantic off the coast of Jersey). And reporter Cody Willard asked

people to “Wake up and start fighting the fascism that seems to be permeating this country.” This example of fair, balanced, and completely important re-porting is only one of many il-lustrations of impartiality.

In fact, Glenn beck decid-ed to hold his event in the Ala-mo, because (and we promise we are quoting), it is “The only place in America where I think it really, reALLY, makes sense – the Alamo.” now, inasmuch as most of America is unfamil-iar that the Alamo is where the original Tea Party took place, this seems like an odd idea to us who recall boston. How-ever, the military significance of the Alamo is clear – it was a brutal loss to the Texas revolu-tion. Wait – Texas revolution? Isn’t the governor pushing for one? right! So that’s why Glenn sees it making sense – he is trying to ensure that the Texas revolution not fail the same way twice. That is really astute! The Conservative up-rising is showing remarkable foresight and planning early in the conflict.

So apparently we are hur-tling towards revolution. What is surprising is that the Demo-crats haven’t seen this coming while republicans have been stockpiling guns for years. These tea parties are only the beginning. Personally, we sit-ting here under the humor desk in the RoundTable office are passing the time waiting for revolution the only way we can. Drinking coffee.

Tzvi would like brownies to accompany the coffee, but due to the zero budget crisis none are being offered.

Humor & EntertainmentChess CornerViva La Revolucion!!!

By Tzvi Zucker

By Jeff Vaks

Q. Can you show a good trap in the opening for black?A. expert’s response: This trap works well, especial-ly on a beginner’s level. In this game, I played black. I was in the fourth grade, while my opponent was in the tenth grade.

Mike (White) Jeff (black)1. e2-e4 e7-e52. ng1-f3 nb8-c63. bf1-c4 nc6-d4This is the trap. Black sacrifices the central pawn. Mike was happy.4.nf3:e5 Qd8-g55.ne5:f7? Decisive mistake, but everybody likes to make a knight fork.black send white in knockdown 5...Qg5:g2!6.rh1-f1 Qg2:e4+7. bc4-e2 nd4-f3 # Checkmate!

Q. How important is the opening preparation in high level competitions?A. expert’s response (the following trap was pub-lished by International Master Kostich in his book): The opening preparation is very important. The last world chess championship between Vishy Anand and Vladimir Kramnik was practically decided by the great opening preparation of Anand, allowing him to crash Kramnik and become the new world champion.

now Anand will play a match with Topalov. The young genius Magnus Carlsen will be on Anand’s team. Here is one of Carlsen’s games.

Carlsen Magnus - Werle Jan1.e4 c5 2.nf3 e6 3.d4 cd44. n;d4 a6 5.c4 nf6 6.nc3 d6 7.g3 Qc78.be3 b6 9. bg2 bb7 10. 0-0 nbd7 11.rc1 be7 That was a novelty in this position. White gets an overwhelming advantage.12...ed5 13.cd5 Qb8 14.nc6 b:c6 15.dc6 ra7 16.cd7 n:d7 17. bh3! 0-0 18.bd7 r:d7 19nd5! Carlsen gradu-ally won this position. This game was played in Wijk aan Zee of the netherland in 2004.

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 13

Review

I used to apply arnica to a bruise. I used to encourage my mom to visit an acupuncturist. I used to look forward to my next visit to the chiropractor for those stress knots. now, I’m rethinking it all.

In Trick or Treatment, expert writers Simon Singh and edzard ernst launch into an absorbing analysis of acupuncture, homeopathy, chiropractic therapy, and herbal medicine, and then briefly through a range of other obscure therapies such as anthroposophic medicine, Feldenkrais Method, and reiki. As seekers of scien-tific truth, they tackle the questionable effectiveness of the many alternative medicinal practices. As authors, they keep readers curious and then astounded.

Singh and ernst believe in numbers, in experiments, and ultimately, patient care. Cogently, they un-ravel the principles of evidence-based medicine and gently, they explore each practice before banging the gavel on it. Their reports of clinical trials lead to one undeniable conclusion: alternative therapies are largely value-less aside for their placebo effect and some slight exceptions.

besides for educating readers about these various therapies, Singh and ernst delightfully recount the “inside story” of many medicine-related tales such as the once fashionable blood-letting treatment, vitamin C’s curative power, and Florence nightingale’s valor. Trick or Treatment is a probing and enjoyable read, easily understandable even to the non-scientific mind.

Dina still has arnica in the medicine cabinet. She prays the placebo effect will still work after having read the book.

“That is so not her type.” This statement, and others like it, have always set my teeth on edge. Labeling, pigeon-

holing, and categorizing human beings repulses me. Therefore, when I first picked up “Awareness” by Miriam Adahan, I was appalled. The first thing I saw was that people were classified in a chart entitled “The Enneagram At A Glance,” which clearly delineated nine “personality types.” I immediately suspected what the book would con-tain. Despite my misgivings, my curiosity overwhelmed me, and I began to read. To my surprise, I was delighted by the author’s frankness.

Adahan clearly states that the purpose of her book is to help people reach a higher level of acceptance. She discusses the complex aspects of human personalities, known as “Wings.” each chapter discusses one of the nine personality types in the enneagram, their strengths and weaknesses, their inner fears and inner gifts, what they should improve with, and how. Adahan points out that even within a particular personality type there are healthy, intermediate, and unhealthy levels of consciousness, and that with a conscious effort, one can reach a more healthy state of thinking. She provides tips in each chapter on how to relate to people with the personality discussed.

Adahan identifies and tackles the oft hidden truths of the human psyche, and reading this book takes the reader on a journey that can be painful yet liberating. One should read “Awareness” with the realization that s/he will be looking into an uncompromising mirror that will reveal both the light and the dark sides of his/her personality. As one would expect, this can be a very scary and difficult thing to do. However, with bravery, honesty, and the desire for self-actualization, one can tap into the depth of “Awareness” and discover the great potential that lies within us all.

Gabriella Nussbaum is the type. Whatever that should mean.

trick or treatment: the Undeniable Facts about alternative Medicine

Awareness: The Key to Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Growth

Miriam Adahan

By Dina Kupfer

By Gabriella Nussbaum

By Jeff Vaks

Simon Singh and edzard ernst

S P r I n G 2 0 0 914

Science & Technology

Continued from page 1

MOST of us have been there—the elliptical, the treadmill, the bike,

or the Stairmaster— wiping sweat from our foreheads and watch-ing the digital clock count down the seconds towards the end of the workout. We feel our bodies

ache and want to press the “stop” button. Yet somehow, when the workout if finally over, we are filled with a new-found energy and feel as though we can take on the world.

Part of the reason we feel so great after an exhaustive workout is the release of endorphins. by literal definition, endorphins are a group of peptide hormones that bind to opiate receptors and are secreted as painkilling chemicals in the brain. They are produced naturally and have effects similar to those of artificial narcotics such as morphine and heroin. In fact, morphine attaches to the same re-ceptors in the brain as the endor-phins. The release of endorphins

is believed to increase during prolonged exercise. This may ex-plain the commonly used phrase “runner’s high,” where exercisers experience a sense of excitement during vigorous activity.

exercise has also been found to aid in sleep cycles and increase energy levels. The national Sleep Foundation reports that exercis-ing, specifically in the afternoon, can help deepen shut-eye and cut the time it takes to fall asleep. In addition, the Fred Hutchinson Cancer research Center found that postmenopausal women who exercise for thirty minutes every morning fall asleep more easily than those who do not. In addition, the Harvard School of

Public Health studied more than 31,000 individuals and found that subjects who were physically ac-tive had up to thirty-percent high-er energy levels than those who were physically inactive.

It is clear that exercise has many benefits. contributing to a sleeker physique, happier mood, better sleep, and providing higher energy levels. This can all be at-tained by including a thirty min-ute daily workout—a small price to pay for such grand results. And as a side benefit, it burns many calories! For example, bicycling lightly for one hour can burn be-tween 381 (140 pound subject) to 531 (195 pound subject) calories.

To find out calories burned

from running, walking, or per-forming any other kind of physi-cal activities, visit http://www.nu-tristrategy.com/activitylist.htm.

Abby believes in a physi-cally active lifestyle. She avoids the elevator like she would potato chips.

proach: it allows people to eas-ily follow their friends and allows their friends to follow them. So what exactly are peo-ple “following” you wonder? That question does not have a single answer. People follow whatever their friends may be doing through updates they post. Twitter users have up to one-hundred-forty characters to write whatever they choose. There are no guidelines regu-lating postings. Twitter sug-gests that users’ posts answer the forever-changing “what are you doing?” question. In real-ity, however, users use Twitter as a microblog (blogging with tiny articles), where they keep the people following them up-dated on events that they con-sider important.

Part of Twitter’s popu-larity came about through its use of a KISS (keep it simple, stupid) approach. The web-site is simple to use, having no complex logic or ideas. In fact, some criticize Twit-ter for being too simple, and

want Twitter to start offering more advanced functionality. Their complaints have been so far ignored. Twitter knows that users enjoy it and so have made very few changes to its UI (user interface). Facebook learned this the hard way when thousands of users signed peti-tions against the site redesign. Most people do not like change and Twitter is listening to the majority call.

Many famous individuals use Twitter as a way of keeping their fans “in the know.” Some of these people include Presi-dent Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and Ashton Kutcher (the first Twitter user to gain one mil-lion followers). Cnn is also on Twitter, providing breaking news updates to their huge list of followers.

Twitter’s real power lies in the many real-time updates it receives on a regular basis. For example, when Chesley Sul-lenberger landed Flight 1549 in the Hudson river, Twitter users who were near at the time

immediately posted images of the plane. even traditional news sources got the story much later. Additionally, dur-ing the 2008 Mumbai attacks, Twitter was used extensively to spread information about the attacks. Twitter’s search option is rumored to one day rival Google’s, as it allows people to search through millions of pieces of real-time information (as opposed to Google’s stale information) with the click of a button.

Users of Twitter have sev-eral choices of how to update their status. The most common is via SMS (text messaging). Twitter users in the United States can send their updates to 40404, and the updates are im-mediately posted onto the site.

Furthermore, users can choose to receive updates via SMS from people they follow. Up-dates can also be sent via the web (twitter.com) and through many third-party applications that have been developed for Twitter, like special versions that can be installed on com-puters, iPhones, blackberries, and even nintendo DS.

Twitter is not alone. Many other services provide similar, or almost-identical, features to

this popular service. For ex-ample, there is Jaiku, a service that was purchased by Google, and later retired, leaving de-velopment to “a dedicated and passionate volunteer team of Googlers.” And, we cannot forget Facebook and MyS-pace, which offer comparable microblogging functionality.

Whatever the case, Twit-ter’s future is looking bright as millions begin to “tweet,” almost like the birds.

What exercise does For YouBy Abby Moskowitz

tweet tweet, the new Rage

Law On Your Mind?Join THe TOUrO LAW CLUbwww.tourolawclub.blogspot.com

S P r I n G 2 0 0 9 15

Science & Technology

IMAGInInG a twelve-year-old child win the nobel Prize in medicine may seem ridicu-

lous now, but according to a group of researchers at the University of Washington, a new computer game they created may make it quite possible. The game, Foldit, was designed to take advantage of human pattern-recognition and puzzle-solving skills to help sci-entists with the difficult project of folding proteins. Proteins are one

of the essential building blocks of living things. They perform myri-ads of functions, from aiding di-gestion to fighting infection. Each protein molecule is composed of dozens and sometimes hun-dreds of amino acids, which are hydrocarbon molecules. When a protein is first created, its amino acids are lined up in a long chain. Within milliseconds, the protein folds itself, forming a compact mass. each protein has a unique shape dependant on its molecular structure and the task it will per-

form. For example, an enzyme that breaks down glucose will fold into a shape that fits with a glucose molecule, while proteins that carry nutrients through the bloodstream fold into streamlined masses that easily travel through the body.

Proteins fold so rapidly that their arrangement may seem ran-dom. However, the process is ac-tually governed by strict rules of physics: a protein always folds into the most stable shape pos-sible. Studying the way proteins fold may have major implications for medical science. Scientists have identified and studied mil-lions of proteins, but the native (natural) structures of most are unknown. If we can discover a protein’s native structure, we can better understand its functions, and, if necessary, create drugs to block or enhance these functions. For instance, if we can identify the protein that causes a cell to become cancerous, we may be able to develop a drug that will bind to that protein and neutralize its effect, thereby stopping tumors from growing. In addition, there may be a possibility of designing new proteins, in shapes that can benefit us. For example, if we can design a protein to lock onto HIV viruses and destroy them, or block the action of the genes in

mosquitoes which cause malaria, we can improve the lives of many individuals.

The challenge to fold proteins into beneficial shapes is formida-ble. One group taking up the chal-lenge is The University of Wash-ington research group, headed by biochemist David baker. The baker Lab developed a computer program known as rosetta, which automates the work of protein structure prediction. Given the molecular makeup of a protein, rosetta runs through every pos-sible configuration of molecules, in search of the most stable shape. To marshal the computing power necessary for the endeavor, baker employs an ingenious strategy – he is signing up ordinary people to donate their unused proces-sor time to medical science. ro-setta@home is a program that can be easily downloaded onto a home computer. Once installed, the user’s computer receives puz-

zles from rosetta’s server, and computes them while the proces-sor is not doing any other work.

While this process is much faster than other methods, the program has to sift through every possibility, even those humans would immediately realize are unsuitable. That is where Foldit comes into the picture. The game presents players with unfolded proteins and challenges them to fold them into the most energy-efficient shape possible. Points are awarded based on the stability of the design created. The game is based on the rules of phys-ics which determine molecular attraction. It may sound geeky, but Foldit actually makes a great game. The proteins look like col-orful puzzles, and users have fun yanking, pulling, and wiggling them into the right shape.

Dr. baker and his colleagues have high expectations for the game. Foldit has been download-ed over 100,000 times and has en-couraged player competition for the top score. Seven solutions cre-ated using this program won priz-es at a worldwide protein-folding competition in 2008, beating many of the world’s foremost sci-entists. Foldit’s developers plan to add a protein-design contest to the game, giving players models of viruses like HIV and challeng-

ing them to create a protein that will neutralize them. Ultimately, Dr. Baker hopes to find people who can fold proteins efficiently and design proteins to help cure diseases. “I imagine that there’s a twelve-year-old in Indonesia who can see all this in their head.” Dr. baker hopes they will utilize their skills and go on to win the nobel Prize.

Foldit can be downloaded from http://fold.it/portal/, and rosetta@home from http://boinc.bakerlab.org/rosetta/.

Bluma is terrible at Foldit, so she decided to make her contribu-tion to medical science by getting others to fold instead.

You Gotta Foldit, FolditBy Bluma Gottesman

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S P r I n G 2 0 0 916

News & Politicsdurban II: Serious or Circus?

DUrbAn II, while un-der the auspices of be-ing a United nations

conference to combat racism and improve human rights around the world, became an outlet for different countries to express their opinions regard-ing Israel and America. Dur-ban II, which took place April 20-24 in Geneva, followed the famous 2001 Durban Confer-ence, which equated Zionism with nazism, among other

anti-Israel diatribes. In the midst of Durban I, America walked out after sensing the

atmosphere of the conference. Several similar comments from different sources were expressed. realizing the out-come of the second conference would be similar to the first, many countries refused to par-ticipate in the event, including the United States and about a half-dozen other countries including Italy, Germany and Australia. Those that did come held different views about the conference .

Some used the camera’s eye to spout racism and bigotry while others showed the world what they thought of this type of speech. Ironically, many of the speakers and participating countries are held as some of the

worst in regards to racism and human rights. Ahmadinejad, leader of Iran and one of the conference’s main speakers, called Israel, among other de-rogatory remarks, “A cruel and repressive racist regime.” A few delegates donned brightly colored clown wigs, as their way of expressing their views against Ahmadinejad.. Once Ahmadinejad began speak-ing, these “clowns” threw red soft foam clown noses at him, showing their disgust at his statements. Security forcibly removed these “clown del-egates.” Following this, del-egates from the twenty-three european nations who attend-ed walked out, to the loud ap-plause of the remaining coun-try representatives.

While promoted as a con-ference to end racism globally, Durban II has actually done the opposite by allowing speeches full of hatred towards specific countries given by speak-ers who have been known for

their blatant disre-gard of human rights to occur. In addition, speeches denying the Holocaust were deliv-ered and documents regarding the confer-ence that were full of hatred towards Israel were published.

The dates set for the conference were quite coincidental- they overlapped with Holocaust remem-brance Day. This time overlap carries a deep message for the world: with such hatred permeating the world, espe-cially at an anti-racism confer-ence, another Holocaust is a strongly possible. Conferences such as these have been noth-ing more than a waste of time and energy. Hatred and rac-ism towards others cannot be resolved through meaningless idle chatter - especially when this chatter is part of a Un cir-

cus where people can spout their personal philosophies and bigotries. When the del-egates themselves show how meaningless this event is and so many countries publicly re-fuse to send representatives, the world should listen and de-cide to act, instead of chatter-ing about it frivolously.

Sara Brummer prefers action over speech, decisions over indecisiveness

By Sara Brummer

Continued from page 1Facebook, I receive numer-ous emails from French Jews thanking me for bringing their issues to the fore, while com-plaining at the lack of general support. Apparently, walking

around as a Jew or admit-ting one is Jewish in France is a possible death sentence. French authorities do not seem capable of handling the persis-tent problem – and the prob-

lem is spreading worldwide. I my-self was assaulted by an Arab protes-tor standing behind the protest barriers while passing an anti-Israel dem-onstration on 46th Street and broad-way. The hate signs and chants did not shock me because I have heard of it be-fore. In europe. In the 1940s. but new York City 2009?

Anti-semitism

has not settled in the dust. We can not afford complacency. recently, Leon Klinghoffer’s murderer was released from an Italian prison. Leon was an American cripple who was shot and thrown overboard a cruise ship in 1985 by Al-Moqui, a Palestinian terrorist. bMI Airlines was caught without Israel on its in-flight map. Our president is making advances to Iran and Hamas. europe is desensitized to Israel. The list continues as it has for centu-ries, but the world is smaller now. We have to show that we care. rockets mercilessly bar-raged Sderot, and only after the rockets were threatening the deeper points of Israel did American Jews start tasting anti-semitism. The rockets are starting again.

even if you think it can’t happen here, at least realize what is happening to your brothers and sisters around the world. be aware, remain in-formed, and sympathize. The agony of the Halimis is un-imaginable. To be in a coun-try where a judicial system is scared of the truth and keeps

on burying it under obvious lies is the product of a silence when it was necessary to scream. Let’s join hands and scream for truth and peace. Let us heed the command, “Do not stand idly by the blood of your brother, I am G-d” (Leviticus 19:16).

Screaming Facts