Welcome to my October 2011 NewsletterWord Sense.

Every living being on this planet uses some form of communication whether it is through body movements or noises of some sort. We as Humans have taken communication to a much higher level by developing speech. I might add here that a large part of our communication with each other still relies on Body Language. But that is not what I wish to talk about here. Maybe I will talk about Body Language in another Newsletter, but today I want to talk about Words.

We all use words. They are as much a part of us as breathing; and just like breathing we can not do with out them.I find words and how they are used fascinating. For the most part, when we want to verbally communicate with someone, we just open our mouths and let the words out without really thinking about what we are saying and without understanding that if we become more aware and deliberate in our use of words, we can obtain more information, which leads to better understanding. And with understanding comes insight and learning, which then takes our communication to a higher level.

One of the words that we all use without thinking is the word “Don’t”. Now I find the use of this word interesting as our subconscious mind does not recognize it and yet we all use it all the time. For example, how often do we say to our partner or spouse as they are leaving home to “Don’t forget to buy milk on your way home” and then get upset when the milk does not arrive. Actually, what was registered in the mind of the partner/spouse is “forget to buy the milk on the way home.” Not their fault, it is just the way our brains are wired up. To change the requests for milk to “Please remember to buy milk on your way home” asks the person to remember to buy milk.

Now you have a much better chance of getting the milk. I would like to add that saying “Do Not” is fine; it’s the don’ts that are the problem.

It often amuses me when you see adverts on the TV that are telling us about some special event and then say “Don’t Miss Out” or some such phrase at the end of the ad. So to me, the ad is saying “Miss Out”. I have to wonder how successful these advertisements are as they are actually telling people not to take advantage of the special offer that they are advertising!

Another word that we all use without thinking is the word “Why”. We always want to know Why something happened. The question Why just slips out of our mouths and the result is usually either a shrug off or a huge story about something that gives us very little real information. If, instead of using the question “Why” we ask questions starting with What, When, Who, Where and How, we end up with a different kind of response which gives us more information. Again, the more information we have, the more understanding we gain and our communication becomes much better. For example: Instead of asking “Why did you do it?” you could ask “What motivated you to do it, and how did you feel when you were doing it?” By using What and How, you are more likely to get some really useful information.

Those of you who have participated in my communication workshops will be familiar with all of this. Asking the right questions makes a huge difference to all sorts of communication, especially when trying to resolve issues that are in our personal or in our business lives. Questions used with skill and deliberation can also help with enlisting co-operation and mediation; they can also be used to protect ourselves when we are unexpectedly verbally attacked.

Becoming aware of how we are using our words takes practice and as with everything, by practicing we increase our level of skill. As communication is so vital when it comes to having fulfilling relationships in all areas of our lives, it is well worth the effort.

Just for fun, here are some examples of the way words have been used in signage.

In this sign they have used the word “Don’t”, so this tells me that they want you to throw your cigarette ends on the floor to give the Cockroaches cancer. I presume that the intent of the sign is to stop smokers littering the floor with their cigarette butts, but the message seems to me to be more focused on the health of the Cockroaches!

This sign has to be written with OH& S in mind, but I have to ask myself, what is the purpose of it? Is it telling me to be aware of attack from sharp edges? I have never seen a sharp edge attack anyone and anyhow, what on earth would you want a sign like this for?

Here is another sign where the words are interesting. I would not like to have an emergency here, would you? I wonder how often they check their message bank!

Duh!

Here is a good one. The wording has been well thought out and is one that everyone would benefit from reading and taking on board.

Reminders:

My communication workshop is held each time I have a group of people registered. So if you would like to register your interest, please email me at:myhealingtoolbox@gmail.com

My services are not just for the locals. I offer an on-line service for Relationships, Communication and Life Skills coaching via Skype, so I can work with anyone anywhere. (The only exception is the USA & Canada, because of insurance restrictions.) Go to my web site for details and Click on Online Coaching.

Christmas is nearly here! My book “How to Tame the Monkey in Your Mind” makes a nice Christmas gift. Go to my web site and click on Books.

For unique Cards and gifts go to my web site again, this time click on Shop then click on Visit Our Store. Happy Shopping!

www.theoutandabouttherapist.com

Thank you for reading my newsletter, I hope you enjoyed it.Until next time,Best Wishes,

Hilary.