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Karate Lessons for Underwriters

Strengthen Your Conflict Resolution Skills for Professional Success

Rev. 10/5/2018

Dr. Kyle Steadham, EdD, SPHR, FLMI, CPLP Manager, Talent Development & Communications

TransamericaKyle.Steadham@Transamerica.com

972.881.6837

2018 NEHOUA ConferenceOct. 11, 2018

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Learning Outcomes

1) Understand the costs and stages of conflict.

2) Identify our yown conflict mgmt. style.

3) Analyze five conflict mgmt. styles.

4) Understand how you can apply styles to underwriting.

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Conflict Management & Karate

Sensei Says

It doesn’t matter how strong or tough you are because the real

purpose of karate is the development of good character.

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• Intrapersonal- within self (stress)– Struggling with changing roles and duties– Adapting to different bosses

• Structural- systemic conflict related to organization (change)– Dealing with virtual management– Managing a project without direct control over members– Clashing risk tolerance levels– Managing scarce resources– Changing workflow, policies, and technology

• Interpersonal- between individuals/teams (communication)– Clashing social styles, personalities or thinking styles– Differing values or opinions– Dealing with generational differences

Sources of Conflict in UW

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Conflict Roadmap

Conflict Management Style

(Compete, Collaborate, Compromise, Avoid, Accommodate)

Disaster

Differences Discord Dispute

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vs.

• Discovery– Optimism

– Proactive behaviors.

– In Control

– Opportunity for creativity

– Solution-oriented

• Disaster– Pessimism

– Reactive behaviors

– Out of control

– Opportunity for heartache

– Problem-oriented

Disaster

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Ways to Promote Discovery

• Treat underwriters fairly

• Address conflict quickly and appropriately

• Follow company policies

• Reward creativity & collaborative behavior

• Focus on the customer or agent

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Stages of Conflict

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Differences

• People have different ideas and goals

• Differences can result in discovery or disaster.

• Signs that differences are escalating:– More time spent telling than listening

– Discount others’ ideas

– Not as tolerant as you used to be

– Unwillingness to let go of own ideas

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Discord

• People look out for personal interests instead of mutual goals.

• Signs indicating discord:– Less willing to communicate in a

solution-oriented way.

– Defensive about ideas and start taking sides.

– Little 2-way communication.

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Dispute

• Conflict is in full swing. Original problem is overshadowed by deteriorated relationships.

• Signs indicating dispute:– Care about “winning” instead of best

business decision.– Build allies in those who weren’t in the

original problem or conflict.– Common goals are completely replaced with

personal goals.

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Activity

• Instructions: – Refer to Handout A. For

each example, identify the level of conflict: differences, discord, or dispute.

• Duration: 1 min.

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Types of Conflict

Management

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2 Dimensions of Conflict

Cooperativeness

Ass

erti

vene

ss

Degree to which you satisfy others’ concerns

Deg

ree

to w

hic

h y

ou s

atis

fy

you

r ow

n c

once

rns

These are separate, independent dimensions–

not opposites of each other.

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5 Conflict Modes

Avoiding

(Delay)

Accommodating

(Yield)

Competing

(Win)

Collaborating

(Win-Win)

Low Cooperativeness High

Low

Ass

erti

vene

ss

Hig

h

Compromising(Find Middle

Ground)

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Why We Use 1 or 2 Modes More than Others

• Background, upbringing

• Work environment

• Job responsibilities/position

• Communication skills

• Social skills/demeanor

• Past experience – use what works

• Culture

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Habit vs. Conscious Decision

Because we are comfortable with some modes more than others, we tend to overuse them out of

habit.

By reacting out of habit, we may not be applying our skills in the most effective way possible.

In fact, we may be causing unwanted situations for ourselves without realizing it.

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What’s Your Style?

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Bottom Line

• Dominance in one area (even collaborative) does not mean you should apply it most of the time.

• How do others perceive you? We have another assessment for this.

• Adjust your style according to the skill/knowledge, situation, and person.

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The Conflict Equation

Your Conflict Mode

= Skill Situation+ Person +

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What is Competing?

• Assert position after considering opposing view points.• Characterized by high assertiveness or aggression.• Stand up for your rights or throw position around.• This is the a win-lose mentality.• Appropriate uses of competing mode:

– Quick action– Unpopular decision– Vital issues– Protection

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Benefits of Competing Skills

• Ability to argue, debate, assert your position• Not afraid to use rank, position, or influence• Possibility of a quick resolution• Good self-defense and standing your ground

What are disadvantages?

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• Concerned with satisfying both parties- give and take

• Work with other person to find win-win solution• Reach beyond compromising to help solve the

other’s needs• Appropriate uses of collaborating mode:

– Integrate solutions– Learn– Merge perspectives– Gain commitment– Improve relationships

What is Collaborating?

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Benefits of Collaborating Skills

• High quality decisions through synergy• Ability to listen and learn• Parties are committed to resolutions• Nonthreatening confrontation• Analyze input• Strengthen relationships

What are disadvantages?

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What is Compromising?

• Find middle ground or forego some of your concerns in order to have others met.

• Negotiate or split the difference- win some, lose some.

• Appropriate uses of compromising:– Issues of moderate importance

– Both parties have equal power and strong commitment

– Temporary solutions

– Time constraints

– Back up for competing/collaborating

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Benefits of Compromising

• Good at negotiating- finding a “middle ground”

• Make concessions

• Assess value

• Maintain relationships

What are disadvantages?

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What is Avoiding?

• Not satisfying your concerns or others’ concerns

• Stall on an issue or ignoring it

• Create a lose-lose situation

• Appropriate uses of avoiding:– Issues of low importance

– Reduce tensions

– Buy time

– Low power/control

– Allowing others

– Symptomatic problems

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Benefits of Avoiding

• Ability to withdraw and reduce stress

• Sidestepping sensitive issues

• Not wasting time on low-priority issues

• Ability to leave things unresolved

What are disadvantages?

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When to Avoid Conflict

• Emotional issues– Issues of blame

– Control your anger

– Don’t discuss personalities

• Avoid issues where little is gained– Unimportant issues

– Symptoms of other issues

– Issues others can handle

– Issues which are too sensitive

– Issues you can’t win

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What is Accommodating?

• Forego your concerns to satisfy the needs of others.• Act in selfless generosity or simply obeying orders.• Create a win-lose arrangement.• Appropriates uses of accommodating:

– Issues of low importance– Show reasonableness– Develop performance– Create goodwill– Keep “peace”

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Benefits of Accommodating

• Sacrifice to help

• Restore harmony

• Doing favors

• Obeying orders

• Ability to yield

What are disadvantages?

Additional Resource

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Questions?

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Resources for this Course:• Buhler, Patricia. (2001). Alpha Teach Yourself Management Skills in 24 hours. Bookends. ISBN 0028641434.

• Certo, Samuel. (2000). Supervision: Concepts and Skill Building, 3e. McGraw-Hill. ISBN 0072284048.

• Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc. (1996). Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument: Conflict Workshop Facilitator’s Guide. Xicom, Inc. at 800-624-1765.

• DDI (2003). Facilitator’s Guide, Participant Guide, & Discussion Planner for Resolving Conflict.

• FredPryor Seminars. (1998). Conflict Management and Confrontational Skills Seminar Workbook. One-day seminar.

• Hassell, Randall and Edmond Otis. (2000). The complete idiot’s guide to karate. ISBN 0028638328.

• OZ Principle Accountability Course (2005). Below the Line Behaviors.

• Scott, Gini G. (2000). Work with me: Resolving Conflict in Your Organiztion. ISBN 0891061371.

• Thomas, Kenneth. (2002). Introduction to Conflict Management: Improving Performance Using the TKI. CPP, Inc.