Negotiations

Notes on negotiating & interviewingtechniques

How to get to YES when negotiating

with difficult people

Definition of Negotiation

The process of back-and-forth communication aimed at reaching agreement with others when some interests are shared and some are opposed.

Three Criteria to fairly judge a negotiation

Produce a wise agreement

Be efficient Improve or at

least not damage the relationship

Definition of a Wise Agreement One that meets the

legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible, resolves conflicting interests fairly, is durable and takes community interests into account.

Negotiation takes place at two levels Substances Implicitly - procedure for dealing

with the substance

Positional Bargaining Locked into positions Agreement less likely

Principled Principled NegotiationsNegotiations

oror

Negotiations on the Negotiations on the MeritsMerits

Four Basic Points People - separate the people from

the problem Interests - focus on interests, not

positions Options - generate a variety of

possibilities before deciding what to do

Criteria - insist that the result be based on some objective standard

People Recognize parties

as human Have strong

emotions Different

perceptions Different

communication styles

Interests Designed to

overcome positions

Focus on underlying interests of the other party

Options Difficulty

designing solutions under pressure

Brainstorming

Criteria Fair standards

Stages of Negotiations Analysis Planning Discussion

Analysis1. Diagnose the situation 6. Options already presented

2. Gather information 7. Suggested criteria

3. Organize it

4. Think about it

5. Consider the people problem

a. Hostile emotions

b. Unclear communications

c. Your interests

d. Their interests

Planning

Discussion

The Method of Principled Negotiations

Remember 4 Criteria

1. Separate the people from the problem

2. Focus on interests-not positions

3. Invent Options for mutual gain

4. Use objective criteria

Separating the People from the Problem Recognize dealing

with a person who has:a. Emotionsb. Deeply held valuesc. Different background & viewpointd. Unpredictablee. You have the same things

Two kinds of interesta. Substanceb. Relationship

Relationship becomes entangle with the problem

Separating the People from the Problem

People see the world from their own personal vantage point, and they frequently confuse their perception with reality. Routinely, they fail to interpret what you say in the way you intend and do not mean what you understand them to say.

-Getting to YES

Separating the People from the ProblemDeal directly with the people problem Perception - fact/truth doesn’t matter,

how each side perceives the other is what matters

See the situation as the other side sees it. This is one of the most important skill you can possess

Don’t deduce their intentions from your fear. People assume that what they fear the other side will do.

Dealing directly with people problem con’t Don’t blame them for your problem Give them a stake in the outcome by

making sure they participate in the processa. Will be easier to accept a disagreeable conclusionb. Gives them ownership in outcomec. Once claim ownership will defend outcome to others


Separating the People from the ProblemEmotion1. Recognize & understand their’s, your’s2. Ask what is producing emotion then work

to solve it3. Make emotion explicit & acknowledge

thema. Be pro-active & discuss them

4. Allow the other side to let off steama. listen without respondingb. don’t take it personally


Emotion continued5. Don’t react to emotional outburst

a. lose sight of negotiationsb. feeds their outburst morec. maybe attempt to unnerve you

6. Use symbolic gesturesa. apologyb. thank you cards


Communications1. Problems to good communications

a. not talking to each otherb. not listening to each otherc. misunderstanding

Separating the People from the ProblemCommunications2. Solutions

a. listen actively & acknowledge what is being said - mirroringb. speak to be understood - focus on the problem togetherc. use “I” messagesd. Speak for a purpose

Focus on interests not positions Interests define the problem, what

makes you decide on a position. Identify interest

Ask why Ask why not or why haven’t they

asked

Focus on interests not positions Basic human needs in order of

importance1. Security2. Economic well-being3. Sense of belonging4. Recognition5. Control over one’s life

Focus on interests not positions Be specific with your interests, give

details Acknowledge their interests Put the problem before your answer

give reasons and interests first then conclusions, proposals last.

Be hard on the problem, soft on the people, attack the problem don’t blame the people.

Invent options for mutual gain

1. Obstacles preventing inventing optionsa. Premature judgmentb. Searching for the single answerc. Assumption of a fixed pied. Thinking, “solving their problem is their problem”.

Invent options for mutual gain2. Inventing creative options

a. Separate inventing from judging (brainstorming)b. Broaden options instead of looking for single answerc. Look for mutual gainsd. Invent ways to make their decision easy

BrainstormingBefore beginning Define purpose Chose a few

participants (5-8) Change

environment Design informal

atmosphere Chose a facilitator

Brainstorming

During Seating

Side by Side Facing the

problem Clarify ground

rules No criticism rule

Brainstorming

Don’t forget to record the ideas that are generated

BrainstormingAfterwards Mark most

promising ideas Invent

improvements for most promising ideas

Evaluate and chose best ideas

Invent options for mutual gain

Expanding the pie Identify shared interests Dovetail different interests - orange

exampleMaking their decision easy Address/anticipate their fears with

options/solutions they can say yes to

Objective criteria Needs to be independent of each

side’s will Be legitimate and practical

BATNABATNA

Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement

BATNA-Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement Your worse case scenario Gives you direction during

negotiations Remember to consider other side’s

BATNA Can anticipate their actions and

have response ready

BATNA-Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement To develop a BATNA

1. Listing of actions you would take if no agreement were reached

2. Improve most promising ones and converting them into practical alternatives

3. Select the best alternative

Breaking Through Barriers to Cooperation

Negotiating Your Way From Confrontation To Cooperation

Five Barriers to Cooperation

1. Your ReactionWhen attacked or encounter NO, feel like striking back


2. Their EmotionBehind attacks may lie anger/hostility or fear/distrust.


3. Their PositionPositional Bargaining as was discussed earlier.


4. Their DissatisfactionCan’t see benefit to them, fear of losing face, or not their idea.


5. Their PowerSee negotiation as win-lose

Breakthrough Strategy Indirect actionRequires you to do

opposite of what you naturally feel like doing in a difficult situation

Change the gameInstead of playing

their game; let them have your way - joint problem solving

Five Corresponding Strategies Go to the Balcony Step to Their Side Reframe Build Them a Golden Bridge Use Power to Educate

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare Before each interview - prepare After each interview-assess your

progress/adapt your strategy-prepare again

secret of effective negotiations is simple: prepare, prepare, prepare.

Map to Help Prepare Interests Options Standards Alternatives Proposals

Go To The Balcony

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

-Ambrose Bierce

Go To The Balcony

Useful image: imagine yourself standing on a balcony looking down on your negotiations. Metaphor for a mental attitude of detachment. Going to the balcony means distancing yourself from your natural impulses and emotions

Go To The Balcony

Three Natural Reactions1. Striking back2. Giving in3. Breaking off

Go To The Balcony

Unfair Tactics Stonewall (obstructive) Attacks (offensive) Tricks (deceptive)Identify unfair tactics and you break

the spell they castAlso, know your hot buttons

How To Go To The Balcony

Pause and say nothingBy saying nothing

the other side has nothing to push against

How To Go To The Balcony Repeat what the

other side just said

Buys time to cool down

Used to spot tricks

How To Go To The Balcony Take a breakhave a preplanned

excuse for leaving

How To Go To The Balcony Summary: first thing you need to

do in a negotiation is not control the person’s behavior but to control your own.

Step To Their Side

Involves three elements1. Listening2. Acknowledging3. Agreeing

Step To Their Side Listening

give the other side a hearing paraphrase/ask for corrections

Step To Their Side Agree wherever

you can agree without

conceding accumulate yeses tune into their

wavelength

Step To Their Side

Show respect to get respect

Step To Their Side Express Your Views Without

Provoking standard mind-set is either/or change mind-set to both/and don’t say “But” say “Yes…and” use “I” statements not “you”

statements

Reframe

Definition: redirecting the other side’s attention away from positions and towards the task of identifying interests, inventing creative options, and discussing fair standards for selecting options.

Reframe Ask Why

“Why do you want that?”

Ask why not “Why not do it this

way?” Ask what if

Brainstorming Ask for their advice

Ask what Makes That Fair

Make questions open ended

Remember the power of silence - once ask a question, be silent until the other side speaks.

Reframe Tactics

Stone Walls Ignore it Reframe demand

as an aspiration Test it

Reframe TacticsDeflect Attacks Ignore it Reinterpretate attack

on you as attack on the problem

Reframe personal attack as friendly

Reframe past wrongs to future remedies

Reframe “you” & “me” to “we”

Reframe TacticsExposing Tricks Ask clarifying

questions play dumb, like a fox

Reasonable Request Test

ask a reasonable request that the other side would agree to if they were genuinely cooperative

Build them a Golden Bridge

Definition: Making it easier for the other side to surmount the four common obstacles to agreement.

Golden Bridge Obstacles to Agreement1. Not their idea2. Unmet interest3. Fear of losing face4. Too much too fast

Golden Bridge Involve the Other Side ( not their

idea) Ask for & build on their ideas Ask for constructive criticism Offer them a choice

Golden Bridge Satisfy Unmet Interests

Don’t dismiss them as irrational Don’t overlook basic human needs

Security Economic well-being Sense of belonging Recognition Control over one’s life

Don’t assume a fixed pie Look for low-cost, high-benefit trades

Golden Bridge

Definition of Saving Face: Short-hand for people’s self-worth, their dignity, their sense of honor, their wish to act consistently with their principles and past statements, plus, of course, their desire to look good to to others.

Golden Bridge Help them Save Face

Show how circumstances have changed

Ask for third-party recommendation

Point to a standard of fairness Anticipate counterpart’s critics and present persuasive counterarguments

Golden Bridge Go Slow to Go Fast

Guide them step-by-step Don’t ask for a final commitment until the end

Don’t rush to the finish - summarize

Use Power to Educate Last Obstacle to breakthrough -

Power Plays

“An eye for an eye and we all go blind”

Mahatma Gandhi

The harder you make it for them to say no, the harder you make it for them to say yes because they may still think that they have to win.

Use Power to Educate

Use Power to Educate

Inform Them of Consequences - Ask Reality Testing Questions

“What do you think will happen if we don’t agree”?

“What do you think I will do”?

“What will you do”?

Use Power to EducateWarn, don’t threaten Threat is an

announcement of your intention to inflect pain, injury, or punishment on the other side.

Warning is an advance notice of danger.

Use Power to Educate Use a deadline Deploy your BATNA without provoking

use minimum power necessary Tap the Third Force

A peer Co-worker Supervisor Their spouse Their parent

Use Power to Educate Constantly remind

them of the Golden Bridge

may feel trapped, this is their escape route

Keep implementation in mind

design the deal to minimize your risks

Turning Adversaries into Partners Your goal is not to win over them,

but to win them over

Final Exercise

Final ExerciseThere is a man who left 17 camels to his 3 sons. He

left half the camels to his eldest son, a third to his middle son, and a ninth to his youngest. The 3 set up to dividing up their inheritance but soon despaired of their ability to negotiate a solution-because 17 could not be divided by 2 or 3 or 9. The sons approached you to help solve their problem. So here’s your task: help the sons solve their inheritance dilemma.

One final hint: you’re in the desert, so everyone has camels.

Camel SolutionAfter pondering the problem, give

the sons one of your camels. So the sons had eighteen camels. The eldest son took half-that was nine. The middle son took his third-that was six. And the youngest son took his ninth-that was two. 9 and 6 and 2 made 17. They had one camel left over. They gave it back to you.

Summary Go to the Balcony

First step is not to control the other person’s behavior. It is to control your own

Summary Step to their Side

Before you can negotiate, you need to create a favorable climate

Summary Reframe

Next challenge is to change the game. Don’t reject: Reframe

Summary Build Them a Golden Bridge

Draw them in the direction you would like them to go

Summary Use Power to Educate

Educate them about the costs of not agreeing

Your goal is mutual satisfaction, not victory

Make sure they know the Golden Bridge is always open

Bon Voyage

Negotiations

Technology

Transcript of Negotiations