NCS CHAPTER PLAYBOOK 2019 - New Canaan Society · NCS is a network of men joined by a common desire...
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1 NCS CHAPTER PLAYBOOK Table of Contents A) NCS IN TWO MINUTES 2 B) OUR “RULES OF THE ROAD’ 3 C) HOW NCS CAME TO BE 4 D) OUR “DNA” / OUR CULTURE – WHAT NCS IS . . AND IS NOT 5 E) THE VALUES WE HOLD CLOSE 6 F) HOW NCS DOES WHAT IT DOES 6 LOCAL CHAPTERS 7 ENERGY GROUPS 7 NCS ANNUAL NATIONAL AND REGIONAL RETREATS 8 G) PRACTICAL POINTERS / STEPS FOR NEW CHAPTERS 8 STARTING YOUR NCS CHAPTER 8 LEARNING FROM FAILURE . . . AND FROM SUCCESS 9 H) THE CHAPTER KIT: THINGS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED AND OPERATE 11 I) SOME FINAL THOUGHTS 12 APPENDIX 14 THE VALUES WE HOLD CLOSE 15 INSIGHTS FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHER CHAPTERS 19 SUGGESTIONS FOR RUNNING A CHAPTER MEETING 28 OUR NAME AND BRAND IDENTITY 29 NATIONAL TEAM & NCS BOARD (PLEASE SEE NCS WEBSITE) 30
Transcript of NCS CHAPTER PLAYBOOK 2019 - New Canaan Society · NCS is a network of men joined by a common desire...
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NCS CHAPTER PLAYBOOK Table of Contents
A) NCS IN TWO MINUTES 2
B) OUR “RULES OF THE ROAD’ 3
C) HOW NCS CAME TO BE 4
D) OUR “DNA” / OUR CULTURE – WHAT NCS IS . . AND IS NOT 5
E) THE VALUES WE HOLD CLOSE 6
F) HOW NCS DOES WHAT IT DOES 6
LOCAL CHAPTERS 7 ENERGY GROUPS 7 NCS ANNUAL NATIONAL AND REGIONAL RETREATS 8
G) PRACTICAL POINTERS / STEPS FOR NEW CHAPTERS 8
STARTING YOUR NCS CHAPTER 8 LEARNING FROM FAILURE . . . AND FROM SUCCESS 9
H) THE CHAPTER KIT: THINGS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED AND OPERATE 11
I) SOME FINAL THOUGHTS 12
APPENDIX 14
THE VALUES WE HOLD CLOSE 15 INSIGHTS FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHER CHAPTERS 19 SUGGESTIONS FOR RUNNING A CHAPTER MEETING 28 OUR NAME AND BRAND IDENTITY 29 NATIONAL TEAM & NCS BOARD (PLEASE SEE NCS WEBSITE) 30
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THENCSMISSION
TheNCSMissionisthefocusofwhoweareandwhatNCSdoes.
NCSMissionStatement
NCSisanetworkofmenjoinedbyacommondesireforadeepandabiding
friendshipwithJesus,andlastingandtransparentfriendshipswitheach
other.
ThemissionandpurposeofNCSistoconnectmenwhoseekandvaluesuch
friendships,toworktogetherinpartnershipandtoencourageandequip
eachothertoexperiencepersonaltransformation,inanenvironmentof
trustandacceptance.Throughfriendship,partnershipandtransformation,
wewillhaveapositiveandpowerfulimpactonourfamilies,our
communities,themarketplaceandtheworld.
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FulfillingtheNCSMissionishappeningeveryday,insmallwaysandinlarge,throughoutthenetworkofNCSChapters,inlivesofmenwhohavecommittedthemselvestofriendshipwitheachotherandfriendshipwithJesus._________________________________________________________________________________________________________A)NCSInTwoMinutesWhofindsafriendfindstreasure.-IrishProverbAtNCSmengathertogetherregularlyinfriendshipandfaithatlocalchaptersacrossthecountry.Weshareourlives,ourpersonalstories,ourfamilyconcerns,ourspiritualstrugglesandvictoriesandtheotherchallengesthatlifebrings.Andweencourageeachothertobecomebetterfriends,betterhusbands,betterfathers….bettermen.WhatholdsanNCSchaptertogetheristhatweallcometorealizethattruefriendshipbringsgreatrichnesstoone’slife–ofakindthatmoneycannotbuy.WearenotachurchgrouporaMen’sBibleStudyorlikeanyothermen’smeetingyouhaveeverattended.WhileourrootsareChristian,wedon’tthinkofourselvesasa“religious”group.Butourcommitmentistogrowinfriendshipnotonlywitheachother,butalsowithJesus–theFriendwhostickscloserthanabrother,astheProverbssay.
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NCSismorelikeamen’sfraternity–with(hopefully)noneofthenegatives,butmanyofthepositives–includingaculturethatgreatlyvaluesgoodhumorandhavingfun–somethingusuallyalienfromyourtypical“faith”gathering.Weeklyorbiweekly,NCSmengatherinlocalrestaurantsorothercommonground(neverinachurch)tobetogetherwithotherguysandusuallyshareameal.Welistentoapersonalstoryfromsomeone’slife–sometimesfromafellow“brudda”–oroftenfromaguestspeakerwhoistherenottogivealectureordeliverasermonbuttosharesomethingofpersonalvaluefromhisownlife’sjourney.WhatmattersthemostisthatatNCS,friendshipscandevelopwhichbreakdownthewallsofisolationthataresocommonamongmeninoursociety,especiallyamongmarketplacemenwhohavetradedsomeoflife’struerealitiesfortheluresofsuccess…andintheprocesscanexperienceadeepsenseofpersonalisolation.AnNCSchapterhasaratherspecialcharacterthatmenpickupquickly.Formostmen,theirpastexperiencesuggeststhata“men’smeeting”fallsintooneoftwotypes:a“churchy”gatheringlikeaMen’sSundaySchoolClass…oraBreakfastmeetingwherea“Christiancelebrity”arrivestogiveatalk–comingasiffromaSpeaker’sBureauofthefamousandtheinfamous.TheseMO’sareallabout“content”andtoourwayofthinkingatNCS,guysalreadyhavetoomuch“content.”Weareinformation-overloadedandthatbringsitsownproblemsofboredomandlossofgenuinemeaning.Neitherofthesetwoapproacheswillchangeaman’slife.Andwhilewedohavecontent,we’renotaboutcontent.WhatiscriticaltoNCSisthis:weencouragequestionsandfeedback…andarelessconcernedaboutaspeaker’s“content”perseforthesakeofgainingmoreinformationthanaboutthepersonalimpactandlivelybrother-to-brotherdiscussionwhichatalkorpublicsharingprovokes…andwhichcanleadtonewinsightandpersonalchanges.NCSpreferstocreateanenvironmentwheremencanbetogether,growinfriendship,sharetheirlives,learnfromeachotherandexperiencefaithinnew,realandlastingways….waysthatcanchangetheirrelationshipswiththeirwives,theirchildrenandeventuallytheirinfluenceintheircommunities.B)Our“RulesoftheRoad”NCSchaptersareguidedbyafewsimpleprinciples:
- Allmenarewelcome.- NCSisa“safeplace.(Inthis,wetakeacuefromA.A.–“whatissaidherestayshere.”)- Wemeetinneutralground.(Attractive,convenientlocationslikerestaurants,
countryclubs,officesandhomes…andweavoidchurchbuildings.)- Membershipisfreetoall.(TherearenoduesorfeestobeanNCS“member”.)- Anyorganizationwehaveisvery“flat.”(WeviewNCSasamovement,notaformal
organization.)- Allourleadershipcomesfromthemarketplace.(Somechurchleadersandpastors
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mayattend,buttheyarenottheleadersofanyNCSchapter.)- WhileChapterleadershipisessential,therearenopaidchapterleaders.
Mostimportantly,chaptersshouldbeginsmallandstartwithacoregroupofguys(5to7typically)whocommitthemselvestobuildingbondsofgenuinefriendship–then,onlythen,shouldthelocalgroupopenthingsupandinviteothers.C)HowNCSCametoBeItallstartedinthelate90’swhenaGoldmanSachsveteranJimLanerecognizedtherewassomethingprofoundlylackinginhis“successful”life.Fromonelook,hehadeverythingthatgoeswithbeingaGoldmanSachspartner–themoney,thepower,theegosatisfaction,aswellasthepressingschedule,thecrazinessandsomeotherthingsaswell…Hehadapersonalphonebooktodiefor–hecouldcallanyoneofinfluenceintheworld…buthehadnoonereallytocallwhenheneededhelpbecausehehadnotinvestedinanydeeprelationshipswithmenhecouldreallyconsiderfriends.Jimwastheclassicsuccessful“Istandalone”businessexecutive.Butwiththesuccesscamepersonalfailures…hismarriagewasalreadyintrouble,therewasemotionalchaosathomeandhisdrinkingwasoutofcontrol.TherealitywasthatthesuccesshefoundonWallStreetwasnotreflectedinhispersonallife.Jimsays:“IhadachoiceandIdidnothandlesuccesswellwhenmoneystartedpouringmyway…IstartedbelievingmyownB.S.–like‘You’vemadepartnerat34…prettydamngoodJim’…andIstartedactingout…”Hesays“IfailedandIdidnotreallyknowhowtogetback…Ididnotknowwheretogoforhelp…thereseemedtobenooneIcouldhonestlyopenupto…”Thereislackoffortrue,deepfriendshipinthelivesofmarketplacemen.Meninpositionsofpowerunderstandthestress,thestrugglesandisolationofthemarketplacebutneedtobewithbrotherswhocanbereliedonintimesofpersonalneedandfamilystruggle,guysthatcanhonestlysharelife.
TheideaofNCSwasconceivedandanumberofguysbegantotalkaboutwhatamen’sfriendshipgroupmightbelike.Theconventional“fellowship”gatheringsofchurches,typicalspiritualretreatsortheworn-outfraternalordersheldnoappeal.Healsorecognizedthatmeninthemarketplacedonotmakedeepandlastingrelationshipsoftenoreasily—especiallywithotherguys.Forthoseatthetop,thefeelingofbeingalone,of“noonereallyunderstandsmycircumstances”wasparticularlystrong.
Menworkhard,playhardandhavelittletimeforgrowingrelationally.Most,deepdown,carriedconcerns,fearsandsecretstheyfelttheycouldsharewithnoone.Ifmenaregoingtosucceedatbeingbetterhusbands,betterfathers,andbettermembersoftheircommunity,theyneededGod’shelp…andtheyneedthehelpofothermenjustlikethemselveswhostruggledandcouldsharetheirvictories,theirfailuresandtheirlifelearning.
Ifamen’sgrouphasanyhopeofsucceeding,ithadtobeaplacewheremencouldbemen;wherebeingopen,honest,transparentandvulnerablecouldhappeninaplaceofsafetyandrealtrust.
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JimstartedagroupinhisNewCanaan,Connecticuthome.Thatsmallgroupofguysincludedmenwhoarestillinvolvedevenmanyyearslater.
ThekeyaspectofNCSareconversation,camaraderie,laughter,difficultiesovercome,empathy,andpersonalsharing.
Intheyearsthatfollowed,thisfirstgroupof“pre-NCS’ers”wouldrecognizethattheheartofNCSistobetogether,toactivelycareabouteachotherbecausefriendswereinthesameplace,atthesametime,withthesamegoal.D)Our“DNA”/Our“Culture”–WhatNCSIs…andIsNotNCSchapterscreateaplacewhereguyscanjustbe.NoonecaresaboutyourcredentialsatNCS.Hereguyscangrowinfriendshipwithothers,sharetheirownstories,theirpersonalchallenges,theirlives.Itiswhereaguycanprocesswhereheisatandbringsomesanitytohislife.Whilechapter-widemeetingswillusuallyhaveaspeaker,NCSisnotaboutspeakers.Forsure,thereisnoshortageofreallygoodspeakerswhowillcomeandgiveyou“presentations”withlotsofcontent.Butthesedonotbreakdownthewalls,thebarriersbetweenmen.Thatbeginstohappenwhenwemeetinsmallergroupsandbegintodiscusswhatthespeakersharedandaskquestions–becauseitisoutofthisthatguysopenupinawaywhichjustgettingonemoreinformationdownloadcanneverdo.IfyouweretoaskwhatistheDNAofNCS,itisreallyallaboutlifestories--simply,thatNCSencouragesmentosharetheirpersonaljourney(andweencourageallspeakerstodothesame).WhatNCSIsNOTTomakethingsabitclearer,somefolkshavefounditinstructivetoconsiderwhatNCSisNOT:
n Wearenotamen’sprogramfromachurchoranydenomination.n WearenotaBibleStudy…althoughNCSersdoreadtheBibleregularly.n Wearenotaprayermeeting…althoughweencouragementopray.n Wearenotacounselingservice…althoughthereisnodoubtwehavemanystoriesof
guyslivesbeingchangedtogether.n Wearenotarehabprogramorasupportgroup–12Steporotherwise…althoughwe
havetakensomeprinciplesfromA.A.liketheneedtobebrutallyhonestaboutyourownjunk.n Wearenotadrinkingclub…althoughwehaveplentyofwine,scotchandcognacsnobs
amongus,wealsoinfacthavesomerecoveringalcoholicsamongus.Wearealwayssensitivetothem.
n Wehavebeenrumoredtobeacigarclub…There’sneveranyshortageofqualitycigarsandtheaccompanyingconversations.Agreatcigarisagreatwaytostartafriendship. ChapterLeadershipcommitstoeachotherasfriends,andcommitstosupportthenurturingofthenewchapter…takingtimetodowhatisneededforaChaptertosucceedanddiggingintheirownpocketstodefrayoperatingcostsoftheregularmeetings.(Thisisnottosaythatchaptersdonothaveabucketatthedoor…butthatisalwayscompletelyvoluntary…andusuallydoesnotcovereverything.)
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PerhapsthegreatesthallmarkofNCScultureisoursenseofhumor.Wesimplydon’ttakeourselvestooseriously.Humor,goodcleanribbingandjokingaroundhavealwaysbeenapartofNCS.Humorkeepsthingsinperspectiveandchasesawayanyreligious“spirits”!Andmakesusrealizewe’renotthecenteroftheworld–despitewhattitleswemayhaveonourbusinesscard.Theboundariesareprettywidebutneverdisrespectful.Paradoxically,thefactthatwedon’ttakeeverythingseriouslyhelpsustodealseriouslywithwhatreallymatters.E)TheValuesWeHoldCloseThecourseandgrowthofNCShasbeensteadied,webelieve,bythewaywe’veoperated,withouttypical“Command&ControlfromtheTop”organizationalstructureandinsteadhadorganic,decentralizedgrowth.Thishasbeenguided,mostofall,byacommitmenttocertainCoreValues:-Friendship-LivingLifeTogether-Safety&Trust-AuthenticityandVulnerability-Humor(Wedon’ttakeourselvestooseriously)-ByMen,ForMen…AllMen-FamilyRelationshipsAsPrimary-ImpactingOurCommunitiesAsaFaithfulPresence-Worship…LikeItMattersTheseCoreValuesarefullyexplainedontheNCSWebsiteandthefirstsectionoftheAppendix.F)HowNCSDoesWhatItDoesBynowitshouldbeclearthatNCSisverymuchaboutfindingyouridentityandyouridentityisnotwhatyoudo–asifwhatmatteredmostisyourcareer.Ofcourse,therealityisthatmenusuallydoleadwithwhattheydo.AtNCSwestepbackandsaywedonotcarethatyouareapartneratyourfirm.NCSisnotaboutperformance.Itisaboutwhoyouareasaman.Andwehaveseenthatamanwhohasstrongrelationshipswithfriendshecantrustandbetransparent…plusagrowingverticalrelationshipwithJesus…hasobtainedtheessentialthing.NCSchapters,then,arefocusedonhelpingmentoknowwhotheyare…andultimatelytheiridentityinChrist.WhenNCSmengetitrightrelationallywitheachotherandwithJesus…whattendstohappenisthateventuallytheydowanttoserveothers…becausemenaremadethatway,theyknowhowtogetthingsdone.(IntheAppendix,youcanreadaboutwhatanumberofNCSChaptersaredoingtoreachoutintotheircommunitiesandplacesofneedaroundtheworld.)
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Tosumitup,weadopted(andslightlymodified),asakindofNCSmotto,aquotefromAlfred,LordTennyson’sIdyllsoftheKing--alineofSirLancelot’sthatoneislikelyseepostedatmanyNCSmeetings:
“LiveGrace…SpeakTruth…RightWrong…FollowtheKing”ACloserLook:LocalChapters…EnergyGroups…andtheNCSNationalRetreat
LocalChapters
NCSchaptersaretheheartbeatofwhatwedo.Inover60+locations,localchaptersarewheremenmeetweeklyorbi-weeklytohearaspeakershareapersonalstorythatchallengesandgivesinsightintothekindsofreallifesituationsmanymenarefacing.Abreakfastorothermealisalmostalwaysapartofthechaptermeeting.
Chaptermeetingsaretheplacewhereguysenjoyeachother’scompany,learnhowtosupportandprayforeachotherwhenandwhereitmattersmost.
AtthecenterofthisisthesenseofcommunitythatcomesfromknowingGodlovesus,forgivesusandacceptsusjustasweareandweneedtodothesame.NCSChaptermeetingsareallaboutmenwhocometorecognizetheirownbrokennessandwhoseetheirneedforother“brothers”togivelifemoremeaning.
EnergyGroups
WhenNCSChaptersreallygetgoing,somethinguniquehappens:smallergroupsoffriendsexperienceamuchdeeperlevelofcaringforeachother.
WeencourageeachchaptertoformEnergyGroups.Thesegroupsmeetregularly(averagetwicemonthly)andmayvaryinsizefromchaptertochapterbutaretypically4-6men,withthepurposeofNCSmembersgoingdeeperintothechallengesandopportunitiesthatamembermightbefacinginhislife.It’sagreatopportunityformetohelpeachotherinaprivate,non-oppositionalandnon-imposingmanner.NCSmembersfindthesesmallgroupsarebothEmpoweringandEnergizing.Thusthename,EnergyGroups!
Theseguysreallycareabouteachother’slives,theirjobs,marriages,familiesandcommunities.Theyfeel“we’reinitforthelonghaul,”helpingeachotherdealwithpain,frustrationandanxietyofliving.Thatmeansweengageinlifetogether.Itmightinvolvearegularroundofgolf,coffeebeforework,aweeklydinner,atimewhenallthefamiliesdosomethingtogetherorwhenwejoinwithspousesandgirlfriends.Theycommunicatewitheachotherregularly,manydosodailybytext,emailorphone.Theylivelifetogetherandsharewhatreallymatterstothem.
Inshort,NCSEnergyGroupsareattheheartofrealtransformation.Thisiswhererealfriendshipsdevelopandoutofthatcometheguyswithwhomyoucanlivelifetogetherinadeepersense.
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NCSNationalandRegionalRetreats
NotquitefiveyearsafterNCSstarted,weaddedasignificantelementwithourNationalRetreat.
AttheRetreat,menfromallChaptersconvergeforatimeofrelaxation,talksandteachingsfromahostofspeakers,spiritualgrowthandalotofcamaraderie.Thefirstannualretreatin1999hostedforty-fivemen.Today,upwardsof800willcometogetherinanamazingdisplayofesprit-de-corps(usuallycappedoffwithalatenightcigarfest!)
Atthenationalretreats,wearetreatedtointernationallyknownspeakerslikeTimKellerandgreatmusicianslikePaulBaloche.
Butalwaysthe“magic”lies,notinwhat’ssaidfromthepodiumorplayedonthemusicstage,butinbrothersenjoyinglifetogetherinsharedmeals,conversationsandheartfeltprayer.Formany,oncetheyexperiencethe“magic”ofanNCSRetreat…lifecanneverbequitethesame.
Today,NCSRegionalretreatsarealsohappening,asaresultofthegrowthofourChaptersacrossthecountry.
G)PracticalPointers/StepsforNewChapters
Someofthedecisionsyoumakewillbebasedonyourownparticularlocalneeds.Someofthedecisionsyoumakewillbebasedonyourownstyleofleadershipandpersonallikesanddislikes.Otherdecisionswillbeinfluencedbythechapterandtheirdesires.
Whatworkswellinoneareaofthecountrymaynotworkwellinanother.Atthesametime,weknowfromexperiencethatitisgoodtotrytofollowthebestpracticeslistedhereaswellasvisitingafewchapterstoseehowtheyruntheirmeetings.Itisalsowisetoseewhatpreviouschaptershavedonewellandareaswheretheymademistakes.(SeeAppendixforsomeCaseStudies:“InsightsFromtheExperienceofOtherChapters.”)
ThebigpicturevaluesofNCShavebeenexplained;herearesomepracticalstepsofgettingachapterstarted:
StartingYourNCSChapter
1) Gatheryourcoregroup:Talkoutthecommitmentlevel,determineahostlocation(usuallyhomeforstarters)andputsomemoremoneyontheline.Pray…andkeepprayingforwisdom.
2) Spendtimetogether:Getthefeeloftheenvironmentwheneveryoneisonboard.Nourishdeepfriendshipsamongthecoreteam.Thesewillsetthetonewhenyouopenuptoawideraudience.Taketimetoexperiencelifetogethersociallybeforeyouinvitetheworldtothefrontdoor.Careaboutyourbrotherslikefamily,liketheyreallymatter.
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3) VisitanactiveNCSmeeting,ifpossible.Checkthewebpagetogettimesandlocations.Remember,menmaybeattractedbyaspeakerbuttheywillcomebackbecausetheyseetheleadershipmodelingChrist-likefriendship.
4) GettotheNCSNationalEvent.WhatyouwilltakeawayfromtheretreatwillgiveyouarealexperienceofthedynamicsofNCS.You’llseeithappeningrightinfrontofyou.Morechaptershavestartedasaresultofmencomingtotheretreatthananyotherway.Takeadvantageoftheopportunity.[Checkthenationalwebsitefordetails:www.NewCanaanSociety.org]
5)CommittotheNCS“DNA”:Makethesharingof“lifestories”acorepartofyourmeetings…evenonthepartof“bigtime”speakers
6)HaveTimeforDiscussionWhenYouMeet:Alwayskeeptimeforquestionsanddiscussion…afterthemajortalkandontheoffweekduringthemoreintimatecloserEnergyGroups(below)
7)HumorIsEssential:Besuretokeepthingslight…encouragefun…maybeevenhaveadesignatedcomedianwhoknowshowtotellagoodcleanjoke…
8)MeetRegularly:Weeklyorbi-weeklyworksbest.SomeChapterswillhavealarger,wholeChaptermeetingononeweekandthenontheoffweek,thesmallerEnergyGroupsoftenprecededbyashorttalk.
9) StartEnergyGroups:Asapartofyourchapter,G.A.S.groups(“GiveAShit”)areessential.EnergyGroupsarethelife-bloodbehindyourgrowthasachapter,bothnumericallyandrelationally.[SeetheEnergyGroupPlaybookformoreinformation]
• NCSEnergyGroupsaretypicallybornoutoftheChapters,butsometimesviceversa,theChaptersarebornfromguysjustdoinglifetogether.Themengathertobuildfriendshipwithoneanotherandasmallergroupisformed.Chapterscanrangeanywherefrom50toseveralhundredwhileEnergyGroupsremainsmall.
10)PrayforGod’sGuidance&forChapterLeadership:OtherthantheHolySpirit,theentiresuccessofaChapterisbasedonthedepthinrelationshipsandtheleadershipcapabilitiesoftheleadership/coregroup.
LearningFromFailure…andFromSuccessSomuchoftime,menfeelasthoughthedemandforperfectionrestssquarelyontheirshoulders.NCShasananswerforthisheavyarmor.We’reallbroken.Welearnaboutourindividualandmutualbrokennessinalotofways.
Putthedrivetobeperfectbehindyou.AtNCS,webelievethatfailureisabigpartofgettingtosuccess.Havingsaidthat,wehavemademistakesalongthewayandhavelearnedfromthem.
AvoidingPitfalls-Theseareafewofthespecificmistakesthatwehavemadeandwhichweurgeyoutoavoid:
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– Bestnottomeetinachurch—asopposedtoahomeorrestaurant.Wewanttocreateanatmospherethatmakesanymancomfortableassomeofourguysdon’tyetknowJesus.Therealityissomechurchesjustaren’tthatwelcomingandachurchenvironmentmayscaresomeguysaway.
– StartUpWhentheEssentialsAreinPlace:Afewofourchaptershavealsomadethemistakeofopeningtheirdoorstooquicklywithouttheproperleadershipteaminplace.Therearenosetrulesasfarashowlongachaptermustmeetasaleadershipteamorprayuntiltheyopentheirdoors.AgoodruleofthumbwouldbetofollowtheHolySpirit’sleadandmakesuretheentireleadershipteamagreeswhenyouareready.
– NoEndorsements,Please:AnotherrealityaboutNCSisthatwedonotmakeanyendorsementswhichcouldbedivisive.Wedon’ttakepoliticalpositions.
– LeavePersonalAgendasattheDoor:DiscourageanyonewhothinkstheycanuseNCSasawaytonetworkforbusinessorotherself-interestpurposes.Businessmayeventuallyhappenbrothertobrother.ButthemotiveincomingtoNCSshouldbeactuallywantingtoenterintocommunityandbecomefriendswithotherguys.NCSisasafeenvironmentandpartofmakingitsafeissomeoneshouldnotbeherefortheirown“agenda”—andweletthatbeknown.
SomeThingsWe’veDoneRight-Onthegoodlearningside,therewereplentyofthingsthatwehavedonewellthroughouttheyears,having60+NCSchaptersupandrunningtoday.WerealizethatsomuchofthishascomefromthegraceofGod…asnoneofusareallthatsmart.
– PrayerIsFoundational:Webeganandendedeverymeetingandeverygettogetherwithprayer.Manyofourprayerswereheartfelt,literallycryingouttoGodbecausewedidn’tknowwheretoturnorwhattodoorsaynext,andtheHolySpiritwastheretoguideus.
– StartSmall,KeepItCloseUntilYou’reReallyReady:Wekeptasmall,closedgroupbeforeopeningthedoors,notworryingaboutmetricsornumbers,butrelationships.Werealizedthatweneededasolidcoregroup,andwewerewillingtowaititoutandgetitright,thanrushthingsforthesakeofquickgrowth.
– LocalGuys’TestimoniesAreVeryImportant:Manychaptersalsousethetestimoniesoftheguyswithintheirchapterstospeaktotheheartsofthemen.Fewofuscanrelatetotheprofessionalspeaker,theeliteinternationalbestseller,butputoneofourowninfrontofusandwewillrelatetotheirstoryalldaylong.
– MakeaSpacefor12StepMeetings:Alotofourmembersarein12-stepprogramslikeAA.Toaccommodatethisimportantpartofthehealingprocess,wescheduleourmorningmeetingssothat12-stepgroupscouldmeetjustbeforetheNCSchapter.OnthebackendoftheNCSmeeting,wearecarefultobepromptaboutendingontime.Everyonehastogettowork,right?
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H)TheChapterKit:SomeThingsThatWillHelpYouGetStarted&Operate
EveryNCSChapterreceivesinessencea“toolkit”withresourcestohelpyourCoreTeaminlaunchingandoperatingtheChapter.Hereisthebasicinventoryofessentialresourcestohelpyoulaunchandmakeoperatingalittleeasier.
1) AnAffiliationAgreementthatundergirdsyourbecominganNCSChapter.
2) Non-ProfitrelatedDocumentscoveringthelegalrequirementstoputachapterinplacethatimmediatelygivesyourlocalchapter501C3non-profittaxstatusundertheIRS-granted“umbrella”thattheNewCanaanSocietyholds.
3) NationalHeadquartersSupport:NCSnationalleadershipwhowillconnecttohelp.
• LeadershipTraining
• Technicalsupportforwebsiteandemailapplication(seebelow)
• DigitalmarketingapplicationstohelpyourChaptergrow
• AGoverningBoardtohandlenationalissuesanddirectionthatwillbenefiteverychapter.
4) AccesstoSpeakers:Whileweencourageyoutobringforwardlocalguyswhocansharetheirstoriesfromthehearttoyourmeetings,sometimeswhatwehaveheardsomewhereelsefromaSpeakerisjustsoimportantit’sworthsharingacrossmanychapters.HelpisavailablefromtheNationalOffice.
5) WebPresenceforChapters:Everychaptergetsitsown“microsite”customizabletomeetyourstyleandlocalneeds.ItislinkedtoalltheresourcesonthenationalNCSwebsite.(www.NewCanaanSociety.org).
• NCShasdevelopedafirst-classnationalwebsitecapableofdeliveringaudioandstreamingvideo,informationcontent,andotherhelpfulapplications.LeveragingoffoftheNationalwebsite,theideabehindtheChaptermicrositeisreallysimple:it’sachapterinabox.– Youcancustomizeyourlookandfeelandstillhaveapowerful,national
confederationbehindyouandgetaccesstomaterials,blogs,devotionals,e-storeandotherusefulcapabilities.Themicrositeprovidesawayforchapterstohavetheirownplaceforpostingcalendarannouncementsandlocalcontent.
– ThelocalChaptermicrositewillalsoprovideawayforyourchaptertostaylinkedwithotherNCSgroupsandfunctionsacrossthenetwork.
6) EmailEngine:E-mailisavitalpartofNCScommunication.Weuseittoannouncemeetings,highlightspeakersandbroadcastimportantNCSannouncements.Thatmeansyourchapterwillneedsomeonewhoisresponsibleforkeepingaccurateemailaddressesandinsuringthatmessagesgooutpromptly.
Theemailapplication[“ActiveCampaign”]willbeprovidedtolocalchapters,offeringapowerful,yetremarkablyeasy-to-usesystemtosendoutregularemailannouncementsandhavearecordofwhat’sbeensent,whoopened/whodidnotopenandwhomayhaveclickedthrough.TheNCSnationalteamandouroutsideresourcescanworkwithyouto
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createalocalchapterstylizedemailtemplateandhelpyoumanageadatabaseofemailnames/addresses.
7) TailoredLocalChapterBrandingwithLogosindigitalformatsforusewithyourmaterials—whetherprintedoronline,alongwithareadyreferenceBrandStyleUsageguidetohelpyouandyourlocalteaminpreparingqualitypieces.
8) ContentLibraryofthebestvideos,booksandarticles,audioandphotoswecanfind.Wehavegatheredcontentthatwebelieveisofinteresttomenlikeus.Wehavecuratedacommonlearningexperience–abaselineofknowledgeforanNCSman.
9) NationalandRegionalEvents:In1999,wegatherednationallyforatimeofrelaxation,spiritualgrowthandconnectedness.Thefirstannualretreathostedforty-fivemen.Today,theseNationalandRegionaleventshosthundredsofmeninahilariousgoodtime,penetratingteachingandesprit-de-corps.
Retreatshavebeenblessedbyinternationally-knownspeakersandtop-performingmusicians.Butthepowerisnotatthepodiumoronthestage.Itisintheconversations,insharedmealsandinbrothersenjoyinglifetogether.
ManyofournewChaptersgottheirimpetuswhenmenhavegonetotheNationalRetreat.
10)MentoringfromOtherChapterLeaders:Newchapterleaderscanhaveaseasonedchapterleaderattheirdisposal,preferablyonethatisgeographicallyclose,tohelpanswertheirquestionsandencouragethem.Settingupamonthlycallormeetingcanbehelpfultoboththementorandthementee.NCSNationalcanfacilitatethis.
11)AWeb-basedeventplatformforlocalandregionalevents—ThisisaticketingandRSVPsystemandalsocanbeusedforeventsthatrequiremoneycollectionwithpre-negotiatedtermsandnon-profitfees.Ifandwhenyourchapterisinvolvedwithrequireregistrationandbookingofaccommodations—regionalretreatsorholdsspeciallocalevents.
12)OswaldChambers’MyUtmostforHisHighestNCSEditionisanNCSdailydevotionalclassic—andisavailabletochaptersandindividualsinbulkorsingles.WehavecreatedaspecialDavidBloomCommemorativeEditiontohonortheNBCReporterandNCSmemberwhodiedinIraqwhilecoveringDesertStorm.
I)SomeFinalThoughts
NCSLongTermVision
“Vision,”JonathanSwiftwrote,“istheabilitytoseetheinvisible.”Visioniswhatwedesireatafuturestatethatisbeyondourgrasptoday.Itisamid-point,ortheendpoint,weaspireto.AndVisionisessentialtolife:astheBookofProverbssays,“withoutavisionthepeopleperish.”
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NCSVISION
Toinspireaglobalconnectednetworkofmenwhoare
committedtofriendshipwithJesusandwitheachother.
WhileNCSisclearlyChristianandtotallycommittedtoJesusashehasbeenproclaimedfromthebeginning,NCSisnotachurch,norareweachurch-relatedorganization.WeconsiderourselvesamovementofmenwhosimplywanttosharetheirlivestogetherandtobetogetherinthepresenceofGod.AndwewanttoletourlivesreflectJesuswithourfamiliesandinourcommunities.
Inessence,TheNewCanaanSocietyisasocialcommunityofmencommittedtocompanionshipandfriendshipandtothefulfillmentofthetwoGreatCommandments:LoveGodandLoveYourNeighbor.
Wecandreamaboutthefuture…wecanarticulateourVisionandwecanpursuewhatwebelieveisthecoursetomovetowardthatVision.Certainly,theimplicationofwhatNCSisandwhatNCSdoes,hasinternationalramifications.AlreadywehavechaptersinSydneyandDubai.ButonlyGodtrulyknowswhatliesaheadforNCS.
WhenBillWilsonoriginallystartedwhatwouldcometobetheAAmovement,onehastowonderwhetherhewouldhaveeverdreamedtherewouldcomeatimewhenAAmeetingswouldnumber5,000meetingsaweek…inNewYorkCityalone!
Asamovementofmencommittedtofriendship,NCSaddresseswhatDr.PaulVitz,retiredProfessorfromNewYorkUniversity,hascalled“thehungerfortheanalog.”Atatime,wheneveryoneisoverloadedwithdigitaloutputsondigitaldevices,whendigitalconnectivityisvirtually24/7andtimegetscompressedandrelationshipsbecomehighlymediated—thereisaninnerresonatorthatpeoplehavewhichcallsoutforanalogconnection…face-to-facerelationships.
Humanbeingsareanalog,notdigitalandwecraverelational/personalconnection.Thisinvolvesaprocessofslower-pacedinvolvement,orelseentropyhappens—whichinaninformationsenseisthelossofmeaning.
ForNCS,thisemphasisonbeinghighlyanalogiskey,becauseinthepressurecookerofworkandtheeconomicchallengesthatmentodayface,thestressesarehugeandtimeacceleration,desiretosucceed,loneliness,seductionsofallkinds—arepresentandatworkinenormousintensity.
Ourgoalwitheverythingwedoistogetguystobeabletobetogetherandtobeopenandhonest.
Werecognize,ofcourse,theincreasingroleofdigitalcommunicationandonlineengagement.Indeed,itourdesirethatwewillintegrate—perhapsuniquely—theanalogandthedigitalinordertodrawmoremenintofriendshipwitheachotherandfriendshipwithJesus—hereandabroad.
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APPENDIX 1) TheValuesWeHoldClose(fromNCSWebsite) 2) InsightsFromtheExperienceofOtherChapters 3) SuggestionsforRunningaChapterMeeting 4) OurNameandBrandIdentity:theNCSLOGO 5) NationalTeam&NCSBoard(pleaseseetheNCSwebsite)
www.NewCanaanSociety.org
[SPACELEFTINTENTIONLYBLANK}
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1)TheValuesWeHoldCloseThecourseandgrowthofNCSovermanyyearshavebeensteadied,webelieve,bythewaywe’veoperated,withouttypical“Command&ControlfromtheTop”organizationalstructureandinsteadhadorganic,decentralizedgrowth.Thishasbeenguided,mostofall,byacommitmenttocertainCoreValues:-Friendship-LivingLifeTogether-Safety&Trust-AuthenticityandVulnerability-Humor(Wedon’ttakeourselvestooseriously)-ByMen,ForMen…AllMen-FamilyRelationshipsAsPrimary-ImpactingOurCommunitiesAsaFaithfulPresence-Worship…LikeItMattersTheseCoreValuesareexplainedontheNCSWebsiteandinwhatfollows.FriendshipMeninourculturehaveahardtimebuildinglastingfriendships.Wedonothavetheaptitudeforrelationshipandfriendshipthatwomenhave.What’smore,menseemtohavemuchlesstime.Theculturedoesnotputmuchvalueonfriendshipeither;it’saculturethatdrawsfromthesocietalmodelwheretheindividualhasprimacyoverthecommunityorgroup.Theresultismendonotgetmuchofthebenefitandblessingfromrelationshipsthataretruefriendships.Andtheissuewiththissadstateofaffairsisthat,forone,ourChristianfaith,isallaboutrelationship.Saiddifferently,menareliterallyrobbedofoneofthemostimportantblessingsinlife,becausewedonotwanttoinvestin,nortaketimetobefriendswithothermen.FriendshipforNCSisreallythestartofajourneyoffaithtoakindofwholenessthatis,atonce,discoveryandtransformation—deepeningfriendshipwithothermenandwithJesus.Thenotionof“friendshipwithJesus”mayseemanalienideatosome.Butweknowitisotherwise.TheNewTestamentaccountstellusthatJesusatewith“publicansandsinners”andthiswasthebasisforthesmearcampaignthathewasa“friendofsinners.”Whatthoseslanderersfailedtoseewasthatthey,justaswe,areallsinnersneedingtoberescuedbysuchaFriend.Wealsoknowthathehad12closefriends,3inhisinnercircleand1thatwasanintimatefriend.LivingLifeTogether“NCS?ItisjustamovementofmenwhoarecommittedtofriendshipwithJesusandfriendshipwitheachother.Welaughtogether,wecrytogether,welivelifetogether.Wereallyliketospendtimetogetherandtobewitheachother.” –LongTime“NCS’er”
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NCSisnotaboutorganized,structuredevents,butitisaboutacommitmentto“partnership.”Thatcommitmenttolifetogethermaybeunspokenbutpresent…toactuallyspendqualitytimegettingtoknoweachotherbytellingone’sstory,bysharingthegood,thebadandtheawful,bybeingauthenticandtherefortheotherguys…andlettingthepresenceofJesusworkhishealing,restorationandtransformation. Safety&TrustMenfindithardtoletdownthebarricadestotheirtrueself.Wearesomuchintomaintainingour“gameface”andbeinginthemarketplacejustreinforcesthat.AtNCS,wegothroughalottogether…andwecanletdownthewalls.Weareagroupofguys,attheendoftheday,whocantalkthroughlife’stoughstuffandnolongerputonthat“gameface”andsuckitupandreportthatallisgoodwhenintruthallisnotsogood.NCSismorelike“let’sfigureitout,supporteachotherandtalkthingsthrough.”Thatisakeybenefitofourgettingtogetherasmen,becauseNCSisasafeplace.MuchlikeAA,whatissaidatNCS,staysatNCS. NCS,likeAA,isaplacewherepeopleunderstandtheyarebroken…Weunderstandandacknowledgethatwehavemadesomebadchoices…Wecometogetherandsupporteachother—inasafeplace—(ashappensatAA)wherewecanprocessthepersonalissuesinaspiritofgraceandtruth,tobewithothersthathavedonethesameandcansupporteachother.AuthenticityandVulnerabilityFriendshipatNCSisbuiltonbeingreal.Itisabouthowweconnectsoultosoulasmen.It’snotabouthavinganothernameinyourdigitalcontactfile;it’snotaboutcollectingsomenewbusinessconnections.ItisworthnotingthedifferencebetweenAuthenticityandVulnerability.Authenticityisbeinghonestaboutwhereyouare.Vulnerabilitygoesonestepfartherandallowsotherguysintoyourlifeandinvitestheirinvolvement.Itispermissiontospeakintoanother’slife.Thiskindoffriendshipisaboutrelatinginadeep,meaningfulway,givingourselvestoanotherfriendandtoaclosegroupofguysinthecommunitywherewecansharelifetogether,inopen,honestandauthenticrelationship. SoifyouaskanNCS’erwhosebeenaroundforawhilewhatisfriendship,you’relikelytohearsomethinglikethis:
Afriendissomeoneyoucanopenuptoinhonestyandshareallofyourlifewith,thegood,thebadandtheugly…someonewhoknowswhatyouarestrugglingwith,howyourmarriageis,howyourkidsaredoing,whatyourindividualchallengesandpersonalissuesare…andsomeonewhowillbewithyouthroughitall…
AtNCS,wecometounderstandthatwecan,andmustbe,vulnerableifwearetoliveauthentically.
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OneofourfavoritespeakersatNCS,TimKeller,oncesaidafriendissomeonewhoalwaysletsyouinandneverletsyoudown.Kellerhasalsonotedthatthisbondoffriendshipisthemomentwhenwesay“Youtoo??”Humor(wedon’ttakeourselvestooseriously)NewcomerstoNCSfinditamazingthatguyslikeuscouldhavesomuchfun…Actually,humor,goodcleanribbingandjokingaroundhavebeenpartandparceloftheNCSexperiencerightfromthebeginning.Humorisimportanttokeepthingsinperspectiveandtohelpusrealizewearenotthecenteroftheworld—despitewhatourtitlesmaybe.Humorhelpsustonottakeourselvessoseriously.Sinceweoftendealwithprettytoughproblemsanddysfunctions—likemarriagebreakdown,familydisorder,addictions,andfailuresinbusinessandbeforeGod—wehavelearnedthatlaughingaboutourcommonstruggleshelpsallofusgetthroughtheroughspots.Humorbreaksdownthebarrierstosharingandgivesussomeperspective.Theboundariesareprettywide,butnotdisrespectful.Paradoxically,thefactthatwedon’ttakeeverythingsoseriouslyhelpsustodealseriouslywithwhatreallymatters.ByMen,ForMen…AllMenNCSisamovementofmen,bymenandformen.It’snotthatwedonotlikewomen.Butwhentherearewomenaround,wehaveahardtimebeingourselves.Itistoughenoughtotalkopenlyaboutfears,failures,addictions,badattitudesinthepresenceofothermenwhoknowexactlywhatyouaregoingthrough.ThishasappliedtoourSpeakersaswell.Whilethereisalotthatmencanlearnfromwomen,wefocusonwhatothermenhavediscovered,struggledthroughandunderstood.WhileNCSisexclusivelyformen,wemakearealefforttoensurethatitisforallmen.AtNCS,nooneisturnedaway.AllthemenwhoaregoingtoanNCSmeetinghavesomeissuethattheyaredealingwith—beitanger,lust,greedoranyoftheother“sevendeadlysins.”Sowedonotturnanyoneawayforanythingbecauseweknowthateveryoneofusisstruggling…andwearehelpingeachotherworkthroughwhateverarethelifeissues.RichardRohrsaysitwell:“Goddoesnotloveusifwechange.Godlovesussothatwecanchange.”(BreathingUnderWater)
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FamilyRelationhipsAsPrimarySon,brother,husband,fatherandgrandfather—eachisarelationalrealityofaman’slife—nota“role”tobeplayedasifhislifewereastagedrama.Formany,evenmost,ofthemenwhocometoNCS,adisplacementoftheseprimaryrelationshiprealitieshasoccurred.Becomingaprofessional,anexecutive,aworker,politician,militarymanorahundredother“roles”becomecenterstageand,alltoooften,pushasidethemostprimaryrelationshipsoflife.Theygetshortshrift,ifoneisreallyhonestaboutit.Wecallthat:lifeoutofbalance…becausetherealprioritiesaretheonesclosertohome.Mostofourmen,astheyspendtimewithothersatNCS,soonrecognizethatyouarenotdefinedbywhatyoudo,butwhoyouare…Theycometobenotonlyafriendofotherguys,butafriendofJesusandgodeeperintheirpersonalfaithwalk.Thatgetsthemseeinghowimportantitistoleadtheirfamilyspirituallyand,foronething,toinvolvetheirwholefamilyinalocalchurch.ImpactingOurCommunitiesAsaFaithfulPresence“Hewhoisnotangrywhenthereisjustcauseforangerisimmoral.Why?Becauseangerlookstothegoodofjustice.Andifyoucanlivearoundinjusticewithoutanger,youareimmoralaswellasunjust.”
– St.ThomasAquinas
Weliveinabrokenworld.AndthosewhocometobeapartofNCS,intheirownway,arebrokenpeoplewhethertheyrealizeitatthestartornot.ButwhileNCSisaplaceformentoexperiencefriendshiptogether,faithandpersonalrestoration,wearenotallabout“usfourandnomore”tousetheoldbackcountrycommonplace.No,NCSmenrealizethattheirpersonaltransformationmusthavearesonance—intheirfamilies,intheirbusinessandintheirgreatercommunity.AversefromtheNewTestamentinformsthewayweatNCSthinkabouthowourlivescan,andmust,reverberatebeyondourselves,intothecommunityandthewiderworld.Jesussaid:“Youarethelightoftheworld.Acityonahillcannotbehidden.Neitherdopeoplelightalampandputitunderabushel.Insteadtheyputitonitsstandanditgiveslighttoeveryoneinthehouse.Inthesameway,letyourlightshinebeforeothers,thattheymayseeyourgooddeedsandpraiseyourFatherinheaven.”(Matthew5:13-16)
Inshort,thereisnotruejourneywithJesus,whichdoesnotexpressitselfinservicetoothers.AlocalchapterofNewCanaanSocietyprovidesakindoflaunchingpadforguystoserve,guyswhoareusedtogettingthingsdone.Andbeingmarketplaceguys—manyofwhomyoucouldsayare“TypeA”personalities,whentheyfocusonsomethingwhetherthatbeanon-profit,aministry,thepoorintownorwhateveritis—thingsreallygetgoing.
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WhatflowsoutofNCSnowrangesfromhelpingthepoorinaverylocalcommunitytosomethingshalfwayaroundtheworld—inpartnershipandteamwork.(TheNCSwebsiteforexamplesofwhatsomeNCSChaptersaredoingintheircommunities.)Thisisputtowordintheoldproverb–“Itisbettertolightacandlethantocursethedarkness.”Worship…LikeItMattersForalotofmen,worshipisanexperienceofdrynessinfusedwithboredom.ThatisinpartaresultofnotyetenteringintoarealfriendshipwithJesus,butitisoftenthelegacyofalotofreligiousobservancethathaslostitssoulandmissesthesheerdelightofexperiencingGod’sgrace.Worshipmusiccantouchusinwaysthatsimplydonothappenintheroughandtumbleworldofwork.Musiccanopenhearts.Asmostofournewmenhavenotsungtheirheartsoutwithagroupofothermen,NCSbreaksabarrierrightthere.ManyChaptersnowhaveincorporatedsharedsongsandfindrealvalueindoingthat;whileothershavenotdoneso.Onethingforsure,isthatourworshipisnevermeanttobecome“church,”soourmusicislargelycontemporary.AtNCS,wetaketimesofworshipsoseriously,everyoneactuallyenjoysit.Foronething,beingpartofagroupofmensingingsongsofpraisetoGodcanbeincrediblyjoyousandmoving.Infact,ahighpointofourAnnualRetreatformanymenarethemomentsofsharedsinging.IfNCShadathemesong,itwouldhavetobe“KnowingYou”(writtenbyGrahamKendrick).SingingtherichmelodyandlyricstothissongissoheartwarmingthatNCSmenhavebeenknowntobemovedtotears:Singingsongsofpraiseisjustonepartofwhatitmeanstoworship.DrawingclosetoGodinmomentsofsilenceandreverenceisjustasimportant.NCS’ersknowthattheheartofeverymanisenrichedbyGod’spresenceinthosedeepmomentsofsilence.2)InsightsfromtheExperienceofOtherNCSChaptersSomeChapterCaseStudiesWebelievethebestwaytolearnistoheardirectlyfromotherchaptersinhowtheydeveloped,sothissectionincludesanumberofcasestudies:BergenCounty(NewJersey),Winston-SalemandOrlandoaswellas“newer”ChapterslikeSanFranciscoandHouston.Thereareclearsimilaritiesamongthem,butalsosomelocalvariationsinhoweachchapterdevelopedoperates.TheflexibilitiesdemonstratethatNCSisaboutwhatworkslocallytobuildacommunityformenbymen.Andinthefinalanalysis,thisPlaybookisaguide,notasystemofrigidrulesasifthiswerea“planfromthetop”oldstylemilitarystrategy.
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(Curiously,formilitarybuffs,NCS’splanningapproachismoreliketheflexibilityofthebestGermanmilitarystrategytraining:layouttheObjective,butletthefieldcommandershavewideflexibilityinhowtheyimplement—basedonaclosereadingof“ontheground”conditions.A)InterviewwithTomLaneoftheBergenCountyNCSChapterInTom’sownwords:“TheNCSchapterinBergenCountyreallybeganattheNCSretreatin2005.Iwentwithmybestfriendandtheexperiencethatwehadwaspowerfulandconvicting.OnthedrivebacktoNewJersey,wedecidedthatwehavetostartagroupinourarea.WegatheredsixtoeightmenseveraltimesthatSpringtohaveexploratorydiscussionsabouttheconceptofstartingamen’sgroupinNewJersey.IntheFall,westartedmeetingatmyhousetwiceamonth.WegotalotofcoachingfromtheNCSchapterinConnecticutandvisitedtheirmeetingstoseehowtheyweredoingthings.Attheirsuggestion,wekeptthegroupsmalloriginallyandmadesurewebuiltastrongcoregroup.WeaskedBJWebertocomeoutandspeakaroundThanksgiving,andweeachinvitedafriendortwo.Wehadfoundamusicianbythenandheledourworship.Ourgroupbegantogrowafterthat.Wecontinuedtomeetinmyhouseforthefirstyear,averagingabout20-30men.OurbreakfastmeetingoccurredthefollowingFallwhenwehadRonHutchcraftasaspeaker.Knowingthathewoulddrawabiggercrowd,wesecuredspaceatalocalgolfclub.Weservedafullhotbreakfast,broughtinaqualitysoundsystem,andourworshipleaderbroughtaworshipteam.Over90mencameforthatmeeting!Werealizedwecouldn’tmeetinmyhouseanylongersowecontinuedtousethegolfclubthatseason.AftertheHutchcraftmeeting,wejumpedfrom20-30mento50-60,andbytheendoftheseason,wehadgrownto70-90.Werealizedwewereoutofthegrowthpotentialatourcurrentsite,sosecuredaswimandtennisclubtokickoffthethirdseason.Wenowaverage100-120.TwootherNewJerseygroupshavestartedaswell.TherealpowerbehindourNCSchapteristheanticipationthemenfeelaboutFridays.Wegetachancetoconnectwitheachother,andspendqualitytimetogether.Formostofus,theFridaymeetingsarethehighlightofanyweek.Whatwe’vediscoveredisthatourchapterfunctionsbestwhenwekeepitnon-churchy,abitedgy,andentirelyoptional.Wetellguyswedonottakeattendance.Wepayattentiontoquality-marketplaceguyscareaboutthat.Theyaretiredofmeetingsinchurchbasements;wehavegreatspeakers,goodfood,andhigh-poweredworship.Itworks.Guyswanttocometoenjoythis
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experienceandbearoundeachother.WhenmencometoNCSandseetheenergylevel,getchallengedbygoodspeakers,andseedeepfriendshipsbetweenguysmodeledout,theywantmore.Itisalsoa“safe”environmentforbringingguyswhodon’tattendchurchatall.Thereisacoreofsevenleaders.Weconsidereachotherbestfriends.WespendalotoftimetogetherapartfromNCSchaptermeetings.Weareallcommittedtothisadventure.WehaveanannualretreatinFloridaforjusttheleaders.It’satimetodeepenourfriendships,doplanningworkfortheyearahead,andjusthavefuntogether.NCSplaysacrucialroleinmylifebygivingmeastrongeranddeeperfoundation,notjustformyfaithbutalsoineveryaspectofmyrelationship-athome,atworkandwithmyfriends.Animportantthemewestressisourdesiretobebetterhusbandsandfathers.Andalsobetterfriends.Forme,NCSisatimeofbeingwithmybestfriends,whichhasenormousbenefitstomyfaithandotherrelationshipsinlife.”B)RecapofAnInterviewwithDavidRobinsonoftheOrlando,FLNCSChapterEightyearsago,DavidRobinsonwasinvitedbyNewYorkCityfriendstovisitanNCSmeetinginConnecticut.SinceDaveworkedforaministrynon-profitfocusedonreachingouttoexecutiveleadership,hewasintriguedbytheopportunitytoseeWallStreetmengatheredtocelebratecommitmenttoChristandtoeachother.Heinvitedhisclosefriend,MichaelTremain,toaccompanyhim.Thatmeetingwasaneye-opener.Theydiscoveredsomethingthattheyknewwasmissingintheirowngeography.TheirexperienceandsubsequentconversationsconvincedthemthattheyneededtobringanNCSchaptertoOrlando.Gatheringasmallcoreofmen,DaveandMichaeldeterminedtolaunchachapterassoonaspossible.WithMichaelTremain’swillingnesstousehishome,the“ParksSociety”ChapterbegantwomonthsaftertheirvisittoConnecticut.TheyfollowedtheformatoftheoriginalNCS,servingasimplebreakfast,openingwithprayerandafewworshipsongs,followedbyaspeakerandclosingpromptlytoalloweveryonetocommutetowork.Theywerefortunatetohaveafewcloseresidentmusicianswholedtheworship.Davehadawidevarietyofconnectionswithvariousbusinessandnon-profitleadersandusuallyhandheldthearrangementforspeakers.ThatallowedthechaptertohearfrommenwhowereengagedineverythingfromfilmproductiontoprivateequitytostreetministrytorunningsomeofOrlando’slargestpubliccorporations.Thegroupgrewbyword-ofmouthinvitation.Fromhumblebeginningsof10to12,thechapterwaspushing30to40bytheendofthefourthyear.Michael’slivingroomwasnolongeradequatespace,sothechaptermovedtoitspresentlocationatCasaFeliz,arenovatedhistoricalhomeinWinterPark.Laughterandwarm,engaginghospitalityhavebecomehallmarksofthefellowship.Theatmospherewasperfectforearlymorningcommunityandthesizequicklyjumpedto60.MeetingsareheldeveryotherFridayfromSeptembertoJune.
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LeadershipinOrlandochapterisaninformalgroupoffriendswhohavesteppeduptotakeonthenecessarytasksofrunningtheorganization.ThecoreconsistsofmenwhowerefriendsbeforeNCSarrivedonthescene.Sincethen,othershavebeenadded.Theleadershipisjustasorganicasthemembershipitself,growingoutofmenwhoseethevisionandwanttoparticipate.Atthesuggestionofseveralmembers,NCSOrlandoisnowpreparingtolaunchasmallgroupsdiscussionseries.Thesegroupswillgatherontheoff-FridaysattheCasaFeliz“clubhouse,”andfourmodulesarebeingdesignedtoexplorethebiblicalconceptsbehindtheNCSmotto,“LiveGrace,SpeakTruth,RightWrong,FollowtheKing.”Thisyear,NCSOrlandoinauguratedthe“NCSBowlinskiCup”golftrophytorecognizethewinningteaminafriendlyRyderCup-typecompletionbetweenNCSWinston-SalemandNCSOrlando.Thisideaoriginatedasawaytohavefun,fellowshipandshareideasamongchaptersinthecontextofaguysroadtripwithOrlandoasthefirsthostteam.Wehopethiswillbecomeayearlyeventthatincludesotherchapters.TheannualNCSretreatisamajoremphasisoftheOrlandochapter.Membersareencouragedtoattendasagroup,andasignificantpartofbondingbetweenmembershasoccurredinandaroundtheretreat.Theexperienceisalwayspowerfulandenrichingandusuallybecomestheimpetusforinvitingmorementobeginexperiencingdeeperrelationships.C)InterviewwithJayHelveyoftheWinston-SalemNCSChapterJayHelvey’sbackgroundwithJPMorganmadehimcuriouswhenhefirstheardabouttheNewCanaanSociety.Asaresult,whenJaywasinvitedtoattendthe2005retreatbyamemberoftheChicagoFellowship,heacceptedtheinvitationandencouragedfourotherfriendsfromtheWinston-Salemareatogowithhim.TheexperienceconvincedthemthattheyshouldstartachapterinWinston-Salem.JayreceivedacopyoftheoriginalChapterPlaybookfromtheNCSfounders.Heinvitedtwelvementhatheknewtojoinhimfordinnerathishometodiscusstheprospectofachapter.Elevenofthetwelvemensaidtheywouldsupporttheeffort.TheybegantomeetforprayerandplanningandeventuallydeterminingthattheywouldusethestreamingvideosessionsfromNewCanaanasthefocalpointfortheirmeetings.Theinitialmeetingtimewassetandinvitationsweresentout.Everythinglookedgood.Alltheequipmentwasinplaceandtested.ThenGodchangedtheplan.Thedayofthefirstmeetingthevideofeedfailed.Scramblingtodosomething,JayaskedoneoftheparticipantstoshareapersonalstorywiththeirwalkwithGod.Theresultswereamazing.Thegroupstartedtobondarounditsownmembers.Duringthenextfewmonths,thegroupmetintermittently,establishingdeeperanddeeperrelationshipswitheachother.Theysoondeterminedthattheyneededalargermeetingspace.Onceagain,Godseemedtodirect.Oneofthemembersofthegroup,withoutprompting,offeredhisnewlyopenedrestaurant.Itwas
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ideallylocatedandhadanatmosphereconducivetoameansgroup,completewithfireplace,sports-barandantlersonthewall.Tothisday,therestauranthasprovidedtheidealplaceforthechaptermeetings.InSeptemberof2005thefirstmeetingwasheldintherestaurant.About30menattended.Sincethenthegrowthhascontinued.Todaythemeetingsareabout150-200men,everyweek.TheWinston-SalemChapterattemptedtofollowtheoutlineinthePlaybookbutsoondiscoveredthatvariationandadaptionwasmoreimportantthanmechanicalexecution.Theytriedtofindpeopletoplaytherolesofcomedian,musicleader,worshipleader,etc.butfeltthatGodwasleadingtheminadifferentdirection.Mostoftheir“program“todayisacombinationofguestspeakersandmemberssharingpersonalfaithstories.Infact,worshipmusichasneverbecomeastandardpartoftheirmeetings.Thereistypicallylotsofsocializingbeforeandafterthegeneralmeeting.Manysmallgroupshavespunoff,providingthemenwithopportunitiesfordeeperconnectionandintimacy.Humoriscertainlypartofthemeetingbutitseemstobetheresultofgeneralbanterratherthandirectedbyanindividual.Thechapterdoeshaveaspecificallydedicated“prayermeister”wholeadsthemeninprayerbeforethespeakergetsup.HeinjectssomeNCShumoralongwithaspiritual“thoughtfortheweek”andblessesthemeetingwithprayer.JaydescribestheNCSchapterlikethis:“It’snotwork,notschool,notchurchandnotBiblestudy-andifyoudon’thavefun,don’tcomeback!”Theattendancekeepsgrowingandthemailinglistnowisover500.Thereisagoodcross-sectionofoccupationinterests.Theleadershipplacesalotofemphasisonprayer.Severalmenactasprayerwarriorstohandleprayerrequestsformthemen.Nametagsareusedatthemeetingsanddatabasemanagementofthee-maillistismanagedbyoneperson.FundingisstillhandledprincipallybyJayandtheleadershipteam.Provisionismadeforweeklycontributionforbreakfastitemsandnormaloperatingexpenses.Otherwise,thereisanannualrequesttothemembersforcontributionsandspecialsolicitations(doneprivately)tofundexceptionalopportunities.Onceayearthechapterpassesthehataroundforcontributions,butleadershipcoversthemonthlydeficit.AsJayHelvey,ChapterLeaderatWinstonSalem,hasstated:1.“NCSisrelationaltoitscore.ThefirstrelationshipisactiveprayertoseekGod’sintentionandblessingforachapterlaunchfollowedbymoreprayerrequestingHimtosendHissaintsandthosewhomHeiscallingtothegatherings.”2.“Youneedacoregrouptocommittolaunchingachaptertobothencourageotherstoattendandtomodelfriendshipwithoneanother.Onceestablished(small‘e’)moveforwardinfaith.”
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3.“PrayforJesustobringspeakers,bothfromthelocalgroupandfromelsewhere.PrayfortheHolySpirittoanointthetestimonywithpowertochangehearts.WaitonHim.”4.“AskJesusforlaborerstosupporttheweeklymeetings.Histimingisperfect.”5.“Avoidoverorganizing.AllowfordiscomfortwhichcomeswithflexibilitywhenyieldingtotheHolySpirit.However,shootforexcellencewithintheconstraintsofallowingtheHolySpiritfreedomtomove.”6.“Embraceintercessoryprayer.”7.“Donotburdenanyone.InvitePartnership.NCSisaroundtableandeveryonehasamplerelationalcapitalintheir“capitalaccounts”iftheyareshowingupandwillingtobetransparentwithoneanother.”8.“ObservethosewhoareansweringHiscall.Obedienceisinspiringandinfectious.Encouragethosewhoaregoinganddoing.Reportbacktothegroupwithoutshamingfolkstogetinvolved.”9.“Prepareforspiritualattacksbytheenemyasheartschange.StayintheWordandinprayer.”10.“Guardagainstanyreligiousspirittakingroot.Humorandhumilityisthebestanecdote.”InhowtheWinstonSalemchapterwasbirthed,JayfeltacallfromJesusandresponded.HeprayedforHisdirectionwithinvitingtheinitialgroupofmenandprayedforalocation.Intheearlydays,Jayprayedpersonallyoverthenametags.EveryweekheprayedforthespeakerandforHimtosendthemenintendedtojointhegathering.Jayprayedforlaborersandtheyhaveemerged.Manyothershavejoinedandleadintheseprayers.Jaysays,“invitementofriendshipwitheachotherbasedonfriendshipwithJesus.Theonlyrequirementistoshowupandberealwithothers.FromthatexpectaKingdomPartnershiptoform,whichwillallowmentocatchthevisionofthepowerandprivilegethatflowsfrombeingaworkerapprovedbyGod,apriestandaKing.Lifecomesalive!”KeyfactsonthepathtakenatWinston-SalemfromJay’sactualchronologyareveryinstructive.HissummarybelowrevealsthekindofdeeppersonalcommitmentneededforasuccessfulNCSChapter:-InvitedbyfriendsinChicagotoattendtheNCSRetreatatMohonkMountainHouseinearly2005
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-CalledbytheHolySpirittostartaNCSchapterinWinstonSalem-ReadOswaldChambers'teachingwhichremindedmethatwhencalledbytheHSweshouldactandburnourbridges-Iinvitedapproximately12menwhomIknewtomyhomeforasteakdinnerandnicewinetodiscusslaunchingachapter-Asarecoveringinstitutional/wallstreetguy,Ipreparedapowerpointpresentationtomakethecase-11to12menagreedtojointheefforttolaunch-InMay2005webeganmeetinginChrisPerry'shome.Ourinitialplanwastowatchtheonline,realtimecontentofCTspeaker-Alltechnologywaspurchased(flatscreeninCP'shomeandcomputer)andinitialtestwasokbutatlaunchnothinghappened-WeaskedPhilZiesemertosharewithusfromhisstoryandaverseanditwasgood.-Wecontinuedtomeetbi-weeklywithadifferentmemberofthegroupsharinghisstory-MywifetellsmethatshefoundaplaceforustomeetforNCS(RiverBirchLodge).ScottGerdingwhoistheownerispartofourlaunchgroup-IdonotsayanythingtoScottbutprayforameetingplace-ScottofferstheRiverBirchLodgeinlatesummerof2005-InSept2005wedecidetomovetotheRBLandaskeachmanwouldtoinviteafriendortwo.Wehadabout30menatourfirstmeetinginSeptember2005inthe-Iprayedforworkersandprayedovereachnametag-WefocusedonpersonaltestimoniestoencourageothersaswesawGodactiveinmen'slivesandtheirfocusonJesus-Intheearlydays,Iwasinvolvedwithbreakfast,weeklyemailsandnametags.Iprayedharderforworkersandpartnersinthemovementandworkersandpartnersemerged.ParkerUmsteadsteppedforwardwitha501c3.Differentmentookthenametags,andweeklyemails,andbreakfast-IcontinuedtoprayandwenttoprayermountaininKorea;manywereintercedingforourgroup-WetappedintotheNCSnetworkthroughrelationshipsfromJimandothers.Jimcame;EricMetaxas,HalRosser,BillJolly,FatherWilliam,DudleyHall,TomCole,MacMcNally,PaulMichalski,MattEvans,DaveRobinson,ScottMorgenthaler....-Wenowmeetthreetimesweeklyabout46weekseachyear-Ourspeakershavecomefromourgroupandfromallovertheworld.Forexample,wehavehadthelocalshoeshinespecialistfromtheairporttotheformerChiefofNavalOperations;formerprisonersandbusinessleadersandcollegePresidents.-Westriveforexcellencebutholdontotheleadershipofthemovementveryloosely.AsIwritethisemailIdonothaveanyspeakersbeyondthisFridaybutJesussendsusspeakerseveryweek-ThekeytoasuccessfulchapterisprayerandcovenantalrelationshipswithothermenwhoarewillingtoseekJesusinprayerandscriptureandwhohavethecouragetobeobedientandgo...-Wearealerttoopendoorsthroughwhichwecanhelpconnectmembersandpastorsintheinstitutionalchurchwithoneanotherinourcity-WeareaboutpartnershipintheKingdombasedonrelationalcapitalbuiltuponfaithinJesus
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ThefollowingchaptersareamongthenewestinNCSandoffersomepracticalsuggestionsaswellforyoutoconsiderasyouplan:D)SanFrancisco,CA
• TheSanFranciscoChapterhasbeenmeetingsinceSeptember2013.InaQ&A,SFChapterleadersofferedthesecomments.
WhenstartingoutwiththeSanFranciscoChapter,whatdidyoudowellandnotsowell?Probablytooearlytotellwhatwedidn’tdowell,buthere’swhatworked:
• HavingJimspeakwithourcoregroupduringoneofhistripsthroughSFwasimpactfultoourteam.Thisinteractionshapedfuturecoregroupdiscussions.SomeonewithNCSexperiencewouldbebeneficialtoenvisioningtheleadersofanyprospectivegroup.
• WecloselyfollowedtheNCSplaybook• Wefocusedfirstonthecoregrouprecruitment,gettingbondsgoingamongthatteamand
makingsurewehadprayerfulalignmentbeforewestartedholdingchaptermeetings.Wealsohadadeepenoughbenchthatifafewguyscouldn’tattendthegroupwouldholdtogethernicelyandcouldexecutethemorningprogram(westartedwith12meninourcoregroupandhavesinceadded2more).
• We’refocusedonkeepingthingssimplebutdoingthosesimplethingswithexcellencepertheNCSDNA.
• Wedistributedtheworksothecoregroupwasengaged.• Ourmeetingsarefocused,highqualityandthespeakershavebeenimpactful.Godis
showingupwhichisthemostimportantpart.Howdidyoubuildyourcoregroupdynamic?SomeofushadNCSexperiencehavingattendedotherchapterssotherewasacommonunderstandingoftheimportanceofNCS.TherewasanintentionalandprayerfulefforttofindlikemindedmenwhohadaheartforwhatGodcoulddothroughNCSinSanFrancisco.AsthegroupbegantobeidentifiedwestartedhavingperiodiclunchestogethertodiscussandprayaboutwhatwemightdoinSanFrancisco.Inadditiontothelunches,wedidanovernighttripasateamwhichallowedformoresocialbondstobeformedanddiscussionaboutthevisionofthechapter.Itwasatthisovernighttripthatwepickedourfirsttargetmeetingdateandmadedecisionsaboutthefrequencyofthemeetings,divisionsoflabor,meetingformatandsoon.Evenafterthechapterstartedmeetingformallywestillhavequarterlylunchesasacoregrouptocheckinwithoneanotheranddiscusschapterbusiness/planning.Whendidyoudecidetoexpandandofficiallyopenyourdoors?Duringourovernighttripwhichwasroughlyamonthpriortothefirstmeetingdate.
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Canyougiveabriefsynopsisofhowyou'vegrownandmaturedasachapter?We’restillinourfirstyear,butwe’restartingtoestablishanidentity.We’velearnedhowtooperationalizethemorningmeetingsandexecutethosewithconsistencyandquality.Ournextpushistoassesswhethertherelationalconnectionsarebeingformedamongthemenwhodoattend.Gettingguystoshowupisgreat,buthavingthemestablishmeaningfulconnectionswherethey’redoing“lifetogether”isreallywhatwe’reafter.We’reaccomplishingtheformer,butnotsureaboutthelatterandthatwillbethetruemeasureofsuccess.Checkwithusagaininayear!Doyouhaveastoryortwoabouthowthechapterhasimpactedyourownlifeorthelifeofsomeoneelse?Withoutgettingintodetails,wearefamiliarwithseveralsituationswheremeninthegrouparetakinginitiativetoministerto,andencourage,otherswhoaregoingthroughchallenginglifecircumstances.Whatadvicewouldyougiveanewchapterleader?Getthecoregroupdynamicsrightanddon’tstarttheopenmeetingsuntilthisisnaileddown.Bemindfulofthegift-mixofthemeninthecoreleadershipgroupandbepracticalaboutwhat’sneeded.Forexample,inourfirstfewmonthswereceivedlastminutenoticethatweneededtofindanewvenueatleastforafewweeks.OneofourguysknowsSFextremelywellandwithafewphonecallswehadanothervenueandcontinuedwithoutinterruptionormuchorganizationalstress.Havingpeopleinthecoregroupthatarewellconnectedtothecommunityyou’reservingisimportant.Youalsowantsome“angelinvestors”amongthecoregroupwhoarewillingtounderwriteearlychapterexpensesuntilyougetbankaccountsandmorecancontribute.Onceachapterstartsmeeting,keepitsimplebutexecuteatahighlevelofqualityandconsistency(thingslikehavingnametagseachweek,agroupofcoreguysdesignatedasinformalgreeterslookingfornewattendeestomakethemfeelwelcome,consistencywiththeMC(oneortwopeoplesharingthisrole).
TheSFChapter’smeetingformatgoeslikethis:
7:00-7:30-Socialtime(guysarrive,filloutnametags,bagelsandcoffeeareserved).7:30-7:40–GeneralannouncementsfromanMC,introductions,somesortofquestionthatallowsforaneasyanswer(whoareyourootingforintheSuperBowl,etc).Wehaverecentlyaddedtheopportunityforonepersontoprovidea1-2minuteoverviewofanon-profitorothersocialendeavorthattheyareinvolvedin.Duringthiswindowwealsosetupthespeakerfortheday.We’vealsotriedtomaintainconsistencyintheMCrolesoeventhoughtheformatandspeakersmaychangethatthereissomepredictabilityandrhythmtothemeeting.7:40-8:10–Speaker.WestartedwiththecoregrouptakingturnssharingtheirstoryandhaveaddedinamixofoutsideorNCS-connectedspeakerstotheformat.
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8:10-8:15–Closing/wrapup.Prayer.Someofusstaybehindincaseanyoftheguyswantsomeprivateprayertime.
E)Houston,TexasChapterInaQ&A,HoustonChapterleadershipofferedthesecomments:
Howlonghaveyoubeenmeeting?SinceJune2011asalargergroup.Theleadersmetfor4monthspriortothat.Whatistheformatforatypicalmeeting?Wemeetat6:30amwithcoffee,smallbreakfastsnack,2songs,prayer,rotatingleaderprovidesmessage,goaroundthegroupandshare,closeinprayer.Whenstartingout,whatdidyoudowellandnotsowell?Wehavegrownsteadilybuthavestalledatameetingsizeof15-25.Howdidyoubuildyourcoregroupdynamic?WewereputtogetherbyTomLane(BenjaminThomas,ScottBrown,MadisonMauzeandmyself)TomVannandJonathanLuskarenowkeyleadersforthegroup.Canyougiveabriefsynopsisofhowyou'vegrownandmaturedasachapter?PrettySteadygrowth.Ittookawhiletolandonastandardmeetingformatthatworkedforall.Doyouhaveastoryortwoabouthowthechapterhasimpactedyourownlifeorthelifeofsomeoneelse?Everyonehasbeenpositivelyimpacted.Thosewhohavegonetoaconferencehavebenefittedmoreinmostcases.Whatadvicewouldyougiveanewchapterleader?Bepatient,setameetingtimeandformatandstayconsistent,makeeveryonefeelwantedandinvolved.Realizethatsomeonehastoplaytheroleofadministrator.
3) SuggestionsforRunningAChapterMeeting
Onceyouarereadytogo,followasimpleapproach.ThefollowingismerelysuggestiveofhowsomeChaptersdoit.Youwillnodoubtwanttomovetoyourwonapproachasyougoforward.
– Food:Breakfastbuffetstylesoitwon’tinterferewithtalking,greetingandlisteningtoothers.Letthecommunitywarmupovergoodfood.
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– Music:Ifyou’reusingmusic,singafew(notmany)songsthatfocusthegrouponGod.Besuretoprovideprintedwordssothateveryonecanjointhechoir.(Thisstepisentirelyoptional.Somechaptersuseit.Somedon’t.)
– OpeningGreeting:Letthehostgreeteveryone.Keepyourannouncementsshort.Alwaysletnewcomersknowtheyarewelcomeandhowtheycanconnectwithothers.
– Prayer:Offerashortopeningprayer
– SpeakerIntroduction:Welcomeandintroducethespeaker(becertaintoconfirminadvancethatthespeakermustfinishupintimeformentoleaveforwork)
– The“Talk”:Thespeaker(whomaybeapartofthemembershiporanoutsideguest)usuallytalksabout30minutesorless,thenopensthesessionforquestionsiftimepermits.
– MeetingSign-Off:Closethegatheringwithprayer,asong,agentle“benediction”orsomeactionthatisuniquetoyourchapter(forexample,OrlandousuallypraysfortheSpeaker).
– InviteThemBack:Dismisswithaninvitationtocomebacktothenextmeeting—timeanddate
– StickAroundAfterwards:Thecoreteam,orsomeonefromthecore,sticksaroundforthosewhowanttoaskquestions,talkalittlelongerorneedhelporprayer.
– MeetingFrequency:Meetonaregularbasisasdeterminedbythecoreteam,butatleast2timesamonth.Meetingtogetheranylessthanthatdoesn’tdevelopcommunity.
– HumorAlways:Ohyes,anddon’tforgetthatlubricatingthemeetingwithsomelighthumorgoesalongwaytomakingthingswelcomingandeasygoing—especiallyfornewcomers.
4)OurNameandBrandIdentity:theNCSLOGOOURNAMENewCanaanSocietygetsitsnamefromseveralplaces.MostdirectlyfromtheManhattanbedroomcommunityofNewCanaan,ConnecticutwhereJimLane,ourFounder,livedatthetime.Firstadozenorsomenandeventuallyover200gatheredwhichledtothefirstsixNCSchapters.ThenthereistheBiblicalreferenceisofthepromisedlandofCanaan.ForNCS,theanalogyisourleavingbehindthebondageofanyfragmented,and,oftenbroken,livesandjourneyingtowarda“new”Canaan,aplacewhereweareconnected,wherelifetogetherisricher,morefulfillingandempoweredwithGod’sgrace.Thefactthattheword“Canaan”means“merchant”or“trader”alsoseemedapt:sinceNCS’ersaremenfromthemarketplace,themonikersuitsuswell.
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Theword“Society”isapurposefulcompletiontoourname.Wearenotacluborreligiousorganization.Weareanintentionalcommunity,afraternityofmenformenbymen,whoarecommittedtofriendshipwitheachotherandfriendshipwithGod.Justas19thcenturyEnglishparliamentarianWilliamWilberforceusedtheterm“Society”over15timesinvariousendeavorstoendslaveryandreformthemoralconditionofBritain,webecamethe“NewCanaanSociety”—acommunityofmencommittedtohospitality,companionship,friendshipandthefulfillmentofthetwoGreatCommandments:LoveGodandLoveYourNeighbor.OURLOGOWechosethearcherasasymbolofthestrongfriendshipbetweenJonathanandDavidintheBible.David’sgoodfriendJonathanwasthesonofKingSaul,andtherightfulheirtothethrone.WhenGodclearlyanointedDavid,JonathanwasfaithfulandhonoringtoGodandhisfriendDavid.KingSaulwantedtokillDavidtoreinstatehisownsonandmademanyattemptstocaptureandkillDavid.DuringoneepisodeDavidwascomingtoSaul’shometoseekpeaceandJonathanthoughthecouldbeingravedanger.TheymadeaplanthatJonathanwouldshoothisarrowsdeeppastthetargetifSaulwassettingatrapforDavidandthiswouldbehissigntofleeforhislife.Thearrowwaslong,theclearwarningthatDavidwasindanger.David’ssuccessasoneofthegreatestkingsinhistorywasmadepossiblebythesacrificialfriendshipofhisfriendJonathan.Weseethisasoneofthemoststrikingexamplesofacommitted,true,friendship.
5)NationalTeam&NCSBoard(pleaseseetheNCSwebsite)
