Navigating Difficult - Amazon S3

How to control your reactions and respond effectively

Program Workbook Video Session 6

By Kathy Obear, Ed.D.

Navigating Difficult Situations in the Workplace

Self-Care and

Healing Work

Video Session 6

6PartYou lose so much of your time, energy, and organizational capital when you over-react and mismanage difficult situations. You can take specific steps to decrease the intensity of your triggered reactions and even eliminate your hot buttons.

I wish I had just taken a moment before I answered his question that challenged both my research and the project plan. But I was so tired from finishing up the presentation at 3am and was still getting over the flu that I just didn’t have it in me to pause or ask a question to give myself time to think. I just snapped and, raising my voice, “put him in his place!” It took me months to rebuild that relationship and regain his trust and respect. As I look back I realize that his question retriggered a memory of the times this one professor would publically critique my work and never give me any positive feedback. Once I unhooked these memories from my experiences with my colleague and did some healing work to take the sting out of those past situations, I was not as triggered by him anymore. In fact, we are beginning to create a powerful partnership on a couple of projects.

You can learn tools to deactivate the power of old issues and unresolved situations that fuel your triggered reactions. In this session you will identify strategies to heal your intrapersonal roots and redesign your life so you respond in intentional, deliberate ways that bring you the respect and dignity you deserve.

And first we will explore self-care practices to help minimize your feeling triggered in the first place.

Navigating Difficult Situations in the Workplace: How to control your reactions and respond effectively Permission to reprint for personal or educational purposes with proper attribution • © Dr. Kathy Obear | 101

Self-Care: Identify How You Spend Your Time

Directions: Use the following worksheet to begin to identify how you spend your time. Think about typical days for both the week and the weekend.

1. In the column on the left side of the paper make a list of all the common activities you do in a day.

2. Next, use different colors to fill in the bar graph to represent how much time you spend in each activity. Each large line on the graph represents one hour. For instance, if you sleep for eight hours, you would use one color to fill in eight spaces and then label that area “sleep.” If you watch a couple of hours of TV at night, you would use a different color to fill in two space and label it “TV.”

3. After you completely fill in the bar, notice how you spend your time.

4. Then, keep track of how you use your time over the next 1-2 weeks. As you review your notes, identify 2-3 changes that will help you find more time for self-care.

5. You might also want to journal each morning and evening to identify:

• Thoughts and activities that added value and energy to my day

• Thoughts and activities that left me feeling depleted

Navigating Difficult Situations in the Workplace: How to control your reactions and respond effectively Permission to reprint for personal or educational purposes with proper attribution • © Dr. Kathy Obear102 |

WEEKDAY WEEKENDCommon weekday activities:

Common weekend activities:

Self Care: Identify How You Spend Your Time, page 2 of 2


(-) (+)10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 10987654321

-10 = Not At All Satisfied 10 = Completely Satisfied

How Satisfied Are You? Rate each of the following using a -10 to +10 Scale:

h Work life, career

h Life vision and dreams

h Physical health

h Exercise, fitness

h Emotional and mental health

h Eating

h Sleep

h Time with family and friends

h Love life

h Play, fun, adventure

h Meditation, religious/spiritual/ways of knowing practices

h Activities that add joy and happiness to your life

h Rest, relaxation, rejuvenation

h Emotional care and release

h Stress management

h Activities that enrich your learning, creativity, intellectual growth

h Ways to be of service, pay it forward

h Financial health


My Plan for Better Self-Care

How will I take better care of my health? (sleep, exercise, stress management, doctor appointments, religious/spiritual practice, etc.)

How will I eat (and drink) in ways that are better for me?


How will I create a better work/life balance?

My Plan for Better Self-Care, page 2 of 2


My Declarations: Self-Care Directions: Below, write some declarative statements about your beliefs and intentions as you choose to center self-care in your life:

h I deserve to take care of myself, and I will.

h I can only serve others if I continue to replenish my energy reserves.

h I will put myself on top of my to-do list so I can be helpful to others.

h There is always enough time to take care of me.


1. How I will get support and help to navigate my current life issues (financial pressures, relationship dynamics, burnout from deadlines and numerous responsibilities, illness, grief and loss, etc.):

2. How I will release the stress and pressure from the cumulative impact of recent events (talking with others, exercise, stress release activities, meditation…):

My Plan for Healing My Intrapersonal Roots


3. How I will work with others to resolve unfinished business and heal old wounds:

4. How I will identify and release my fears and anxieties:

5. How I will rearrange my life to find healthy ways to meet my needs more frequently and consistently:

My Plan for Healing My Intrapersonal Roots, page 2 of 3


6. How I will examine, heal, and shift my ego-centered desires:

7. How I will identify and shift assumptions, stereotypes, shoulds, expectations and judgments:

My Plan for Healing My Intrapersonal Roots, page 3 of 3

If you are interested in inviting me to speak to the members of your organization or if you would like to

explore ways to work with me as an Executive Coach or Life Coach, please contact me:

Dr. Kathy Obearwww.drkathyobear.com

[email protected]

Workbook and video slides designed by:

Pamela Graglia Freelance [email protected]

EXECUTIVE /L IFE COACH

Navigating Difficult - Amazon S3

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