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Is he/she capable of commitment? (V)Written by Chioma Gabriel

Friday, 31 October 2008

A regular contributor Femi Fasanya who counsels singles with his wife wrote a piece sharing an

experience of one of the women he counseled. In the piece, a lady by name Funto widowed before30 tells how her husbands stubbornness led to his death and advises that couples should learn tolisten to good advice from elderly people they trust and men should listen to their wives intuitionwhich is accurate most of the time. Women, according to Fasanya can sense danger miles away andmen in committed relationships ought to listen to their wives so-called nagging as that could savethem a lot of trouble. Read Funtos experience as submitted by Femi Fasanya.

My husbands stubborness cost him his life-Funto

My name is Funto; I am a widow at an age less than 30 years and with a child that is barely eightmonths. This is the story of my life so farI met Dan during my NYSC programme about five years ago. We met when he was in his finalyear in university in the state I was serving. We dated a few years from that point till he graduated

and got a job. Not long afterwards, he proposed to me and I didnt give him my consent until Ispoke to my mum about him. She went to pray and what she was told was that people in his family

who do well dont live long. I was worried about that but Dan was on a trip and I couldnt do much.As if to confirm what my mother said, when Dan returned from his trip, he came back with thedeath story of one of his aunty that was doing well and supporting members of the family.I immediately wanted to leave the relationship but because of the emotion and love that I had forhim, we continued.

Our courtship was not all fairytale. We had our challenges and on several occasions, I would havewalked out of the relationship. Why did I eventually get married to him? I guess the answer lies inthe fact that he was teachable (that was what I thought until after marriage) and he was the onlycommitted Christian in his family. I believed that with his commitment to God all other thingscould be taken care of.We got married amidst glamour, pomp and pageantry. Dan was fortunate to be working in a placewhere doors of favor were opened to him.

.A few months after our marriage, all hell seemed to break loose between us. He becamecontrolling and always insisted on what he wanted to the point of even dictating what I was to eator wear; who I would see, who should visit me and so on. Often times, he would bluntly tell methat I should pack out if I wanted and that years later his child would come looking for him..

Before I had our child, I developed high blood pressure that almost cost me my life during the laborbut for the mercy of God . The name I was called by nurses and patients that heard my story was

miracle woman.

Was my marriage all hell? My answer is NO. Yet, one thing might have prevented the death of myhusband at such an early age if my husband was not stubborn and always wanted to do things his

own way; he would have been alive today if he had the ability to listen to people and not stubbornlydo his will. Two days before his death, a man of God had told him that he shouldnt take a trip to histown (this I didnt know until two weeks after his death). I also felt strange about the trip he wantedto make. On the day of his death, I asked him not to take the trip since what he wanted to go homefor (burial arrangement of his mums family member) had been shifted to the following month. Icalled his sister to find out if there had been any change of arrangement concerning the burial andshe said no. When she called him on the issue, he practically shouted her down and took the journeyfrom which he never returned .On his way back, he had a ghastly accident that cost him his life andan age a little above 35 years. If only he had listened to people; if only he had taken serious theprophesy I shared with him when he asked my hand in marriage and that of the man of God thatinstructed him not to go to his home town for now.

I believe his death did not come from God. I believe that the bad things that happen to people don t

come from God and that some are avoidable and that husbands should build a structure around themthat would help protect them from certain troubles. I have seen avoidable troubles happen to somemarried men because they didnt put this structure in place.

The first structure is that of a good friend that they are responsible to; a friend that can speak to oneand that persons opinion can be objectively looked at. In my own life, I have people who when theytalk, I listen. They are people that my wife can walk to and when they talk to me on any issue theysee that I have gone wrong in my marriage, I listen. Not all friends can fulfill this role. The onesthat can are those that give godly advice irrespective of their feelings. Sometimes these people areolder than the conventional friends we keep.

The second structure is that they should have a clergy man that they should submit to. I feel thatthis figure is essential for any man to succeed. Clergy men may have flaws, yet they are put in placeby God to help give direction to His people. On rare times, a word they receive from the Lord may

just be the life saver that one requires. If Dan had put this structure in his life, his death could havebeen avoided.

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8/14/2019 My husbands stubborness cost him his life

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The third structure is that of listening to ones wife. Over the years, I have found out that this is amajor challenge amongst men. Many of us are too independent and after marriage, we still want tocontinue in that path.. So when wives complain about certain issues to their husbands, they ignorethem. I feel that husbands should learn to listen to their wives because women have the advantageof intuition. They can sense danger when even the brightest of men cant and some men would tellyou that it was the nagging of their wives that saved them from costly mistakes.

Olufemi Fasanya, +2348037257479, +2348083906405.

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Comments (1)

Avoid taking things for grantedWritten by Bro.Ogugua C.E, on 03-11-2008 11:09 , IP: 195.245.108.130I think we should have a listening ear. Also we should try as much as possible to not to take forgranted prophecies and words of advice especially when it comes from ministers. Pls, be wise andalways ask for God's Grace!

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