MWEng100BC ApLangWordyExact Apostrophes Commas FA14

8/11/2019 MWEng100BC ApLangWordyExact Apostrophes Commas FA14

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Commas

Apostrophes

Appropriate Language, Exact Words, Avoiding

Wordiness


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D&C Thesis Statement

Once you have decided on your group, purpose, and categories, develop a

thesis statement that does the following three things:

names what group of people or things you intend to classify/divide

describes the basis of the classification/division (How is the topic beingcategorized?)

labels the categories you have developed

Our last five U.S. presidents have practiced physical fitness regimens thathave included being regular private gym-goers, disciplined public joggers,

or casual active sports enthusiasts.

Technique variations lend to the categorization of tribal belly dance intoforms such as tribal fusion, American Tribal Style, Hot-pot Improv Tribal

Style, and Homegrown Improv Tribal Style.


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D & C Outline

I. Introduction

A. Attention Grabber1.2.

B. Background information1.2.

C. Relevancy and Thesis Statement1.2.


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D & C Outline

II. Body: Categories or Parts

A. Category or Part 11. Characteristic (explain)2. Characteristic (illustrate w/ specific example)

B. Category or Part 21. Characteristic (explain)2. Characteristic (illustrate w/ specific example)

C. Category or Part 31. Characteristic (explain)2. Characteristic (illustrate w/ specific example)

D. Category or Part 41. Characteristic (explain)2. Characteristic (illustrate w/ specific example)


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D & C OutlineII. Body: Types of Tribal Belly Dancetechnique variations

A. Tribal Fusion belly dance gives dancers the freedom to adopt moves fromOriental styles.

1. Dancers of this style can incorporate moves and

poses that are typically used only in Oriental style.2. Tribal dancers never lift their heels; however, tribal fusiondancers may lift their heels in the upward figure 8.

B. American Tribal Style (ATS) follows a specific sequence of moves based uponvarious cues.

1. These cues are universal so that dancers from various

locations can randomly dance together.2. The specific cues lead to a specific sequence of dance combinationsso that dancers can lead-and-follow one another.

C. Hot-Pot Improv Tribal Style (Hot-Pot ITS) also utilizes the lead andfollow forms but it is less choreographed that ATS.

1. Hot-Pot ITS categorizes moves as fast and slow slow movescan not be cued or danced in a fast song and vice-versa.

2. The Arabic move may not be pulled in a slow song.D. Homegrown Improv Tribal Style (HITS) combines improv and fusioncharacteristics.

1. Dancers of other styles are unable to dance with HITSdancers without instruction, but HITS dancers know the cuesof all other styles.

2. HITS dancers also incorporate moves from Oriental styles.


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D & C Outline

III. Conclusion

A. Link back to Introduction1.2.

B. Reminder of thesis1.2.

3.C. Lasting Impression

1.2.


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Talk to your neighborsWhen do you use a comma?


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Commas Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction

joining independent clausesThe department sponsored a seminar on college

survival skills and it also hosted a barbecue fornew students.

Do NOT use a comma to separate coordinate wordgroups that are not independent clauses

A good money manager controls expenses andinvests surplus dollars to meet future needs.


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Commas Use a comma after an introductory clause or

phrase

When Irwin was ready to iron his cat tripped on thecord.

His cat tripped on the cord when Irwin was ready toiron.

In no time we were at 2,800 feet.We were at 2,800 feet in no time.

Use a comma between all items in a series of 3+

Bubbles of air leaves ferns bits of wood and insects

are often found trapped in amber.Use Oxford comma in MLA style writings

Oxford comma is the comma before the wordand in a series of three or more items


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Commas Use a comma between coordinate adjectives not

joined with and. Do not use a comma betweencumulative adjectives. (use the andtest)

Roberto is a warm gentle affectionate father.

Three large gray shapes moved slowly toward us.


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Commas Use commas to set off nonrestrictive

(nonessential) elements.The campers need sturdy shoes which are expensive.

How do the meanings of these two sentences differbecause of the commas?

The dessert made with fresh raspberries wasdelicious.

The dessert, made with fresh raspberries, wasdelicious.

In the first example, the phrase made with freshraspberries tells readers which of two or moredesserts the writer is referring to. In the examplewith commas, the phrase merely addsinformation about the dessert.


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Commas Use commas to set off transitional and

parenthetical expressions, absolute phrases, andword groups expressing contrast

Minh did not understand our language; moreoverhe was unfamiliar with our customs.

As a matter of fact American football wasestablished in the mid-nineteenth century.


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Commas Use commas to set off nouns of direct address, the

wordsyes and no, interrogative tags, and mildinterjections

Forgive me Angela for forgetting your birthday.

Use commas with expressions such as he saidto

set off direct quotationsIts okay Angela said.


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Commas Use commas with dates, addresses, titles, and

numberOn December 12 1980 orders were sent out for the

arrest of Sitting Bull.

Orders were sent out for the arrest of Sitting Bull on

December 12 1980.The security alert system went into effect on 15 April

2009.

Use a comma to prevent confusion (this is fancy)

Patients who can walk up and down the halls everyday.

To err is human; to forgive divine.


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Exercise 12.1 Adding Commas1. Breeders have long prized their swiftest, most

graceful horses, and raced them.horses and raced them.

2. Horse racing in the United States generally meanseither thoroughbred racing or harness racing.

correct


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Exercise 12.1 Adding Commas3. Harness racehorses pull small lightweight

vehicles, handled by a driver.small, lightweight vehicles handled

4. Harness racing falls into the two categories oftrotting, and pacing.

omit comma


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Exercise 12.1 Adding Commas5. The most famous event in harness racing the

Hambletonian, is a mile-long trotting race.racing, the Hambletonian, is

6. Harness racing may be known mainly toenthusiasts but even people who appreciate verylittle about horse racing are familiar withthoroughbred racing.

enthusiasts, but


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Exercise 12.1 Adding Commas7. Thoroughbred racehorses, unlike harness

racehorses, carry a rider.Correct

8. The best-known events in thoroughbred racing,the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, andthe Belmont Stakes, are the three races, thatmake up the Triple Crown.

three races that make up


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Exercise 12.1 Adding Commas9. All of the Triple Crown races which vary in length

are for three-year-old horses.races, which vary in length, are

10. In the twentieth century only eleven horses wonthoroughbred racings Triple Crown.

century, only

E i 12 2


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Exercise 12.2

Working with Commas

1. Several years ago, many police departmentsignored minor violations of the law, andconcentrated on bigger crime problems.

...law [omit comma] and concentrated

2. Today, however, the broken window theory, iswidely accepted.

...theory [omit comma] is widely accepted.

E i 12 2


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Exercise 12.2

Working with Commas

3. According to this popular theory allowing brokenwindows to remain, unrepaired, leads to a loss ofhope in a community.

...theory [insert comma] allowing broken windows

to remain [omit comma] unrepaired [omitcomma] leads...

4. Frequently, buildings that look neglected makeneighbors feel that no one cares what goes on inthe area.

correct

E i 12 2


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Exercise 12.2

Working with Commas

5. Similarly, if petty crimes are ignored in aneighborhood people there may feel that largercrimes are acceptable as well.

...neighborhood [insert comma] people...

6. Community policing is one result of the newemphasis on stopping victimless crimes such asloitering and panhandling.

...crimes [insert comma] such as...7. But, can a police officer, walking a beat, really be

more effective than a patrol car?

Omit all commas

E i 12 2


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Exercise 12.2

Working with Commas

8. Some experts believe that police should berequired to live in the communities, that theyserve.

Omit comma

9. Police who live elsewhere may not understandthe needs of the community, and they willcertainly know less about the people living in thecommunity.

Correct.

E ercise 12 2


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Exercise 12.2

Working with Commas

10. Different methods of community policing maywork in different areas but the goal should alwaysbe to keep communications open between thepublic and the police.

...areas [insert comma] but the goal


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Talk to your neighbors...When do you use a comma?

In a list of 3 or more items (oxford for MLA) Between adjectives (use And test)

To combine 2 sentences (CS, [FANBOYS] CS)

After an introductory clause

Around extra information in the sentence


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There are only 2 reasons

to use an apostrophe!!!


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Apostrophes Use an apostrophe to indicate that a noun is

possessiveThe hat of Tim

Tims hat

The desk of the lawyersThe lawyers desk

[lawyers is plural. To make it possessive, add s]

The camper of Joyce and Greg

Joyce and Gregs camper

The memoir of my father-in-law

My father-in-laws memoir


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Apostrophes Use an apostrophe and s to indicate that an

indefinite pronoun is possessive (everyone,someone, no one, something)

The raincoat of someone

Someones raincoat


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ApostrophesAvoid common misuses of the apostrophe.

Some outpatients have special parking permits.

The House on Mango Street was written bySandra Cisneros, whos work focuses on theLatino community in the United States.

E 17 1 A h


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Ex 17.1 Apostrophes1. African chiefs stories led a German explorer to

the stone ruins in Mashonaland, now inZimbabwe, in 1871.

Chiefs

2. The explorer, whos name was Karl Mauch,tried to find out who had built the once-greatcity.

whose

E 17 1 A h


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Ex 17.1 Apostrophes3. The tribes nearby could not answer Mauches

question, but they knew gold had been foundthere.

Mauches

4. The Africans called the siteZimbabwe.

Africans

E 17 1 A t h


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Ex 17.1 Apostrophes5. Mauch became convinced that the city was

Ophir, the source of the gold brought back toKing Solomons Israel around 1000 B.C.E.

correct

6. He thought perhaps the cities builder was the

Queen of Sheba.

Citys

E 17 1 A t h


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Ex 17.1 Apostrophes7. An archeologists findings later demonstrated

that the city was about six hundred years oldand that it had been built by African natives.

Archeologists

8. The Shona tribe probably built the first walls

on the site, but its more complex structureswere added later by the Rozwi tribe.

its

E 17 1 A t h


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Ex 17.1 Apostrophes9. The Rozwi probably erected the temple, which

was inhabited by Rozwi ruler-priests untiltheir empires end in the 1830s.

1830s

10. The legends about the origins of the city

persisted for a long time, perhaps because ofwhite South Africans and Europeansresistance to the idea that black Africans had

built the impressive structures.Africans


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Apostrophe songWatch the following video.Write down examples of apostrophe misuse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc2aSz9Ficw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc2aSz9Ficwhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc2aSz9Ficwhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc2aSz9Ficw


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There are only 2 reasons to use an

apostrophe: To show possession

To show omission


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What is wrong?Watch the following video and identify its writing

error.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKueUBlc-u0

So the writer who breeds more words than he

needs, is making a chore for the reader whoreads. Dr. Seuss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKueUBlc-u0http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKueUBlc-u0http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKueUBlc-u0http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKueUBlc-u0


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Tighten Wordy SentencesAvoid unnecessary repetition of words

Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient.

Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill.

The best teachers help each student become a better

student both academically and emotionally.The best teachers help each student grow both

academically and emotionally.


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Tighten Wordy SentencesCut empty or inflated phrases

Along the lines of...like

As a matter of fact...in fact

At all times...always

At the present time...now, currently Because of the fact that...because

Due to the fact that...because

For the reason that...because

In order to...to

In the final analysis...finally


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Tighten Wordy Sentences Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single

wordsWe took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home

of Thomas Jefferson.

We took a side trip to Monticello, the home of ThomasJefferson.


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Exercise E.1 Wordy Sentences1. It seems likely that American parents choose really

carefully when naming their children.American parents choose carefully when naming their

children.

2. Making comparisons between popular names oftoday and the names that were popular in the pastshows how much our ideas about naming childrenhave changed.

Comparing popular names of today and of the pastshows how much our ideas about naming childrenhave changed.


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Exercise E.1 Wordy Sentences3. The names chosen for girls have undergone he most

changes.Girls names have changed the most.

4. Forty years ago, the majority of baby girls receivednames that sounded traditional rather than beingconsidered unusual.

Forty years ago, most baby girls received traditionalnames rather than unusual ones.


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Exercise E.1 Wordy Sentences5. Some of the older names gradually became less

popular over a period of time, and newer names, likeJennifer, now a perennial favorite year after year,took their place.

Some of the older names gradually became less

popular, and newer names, like Jennifer, now aperennial favorite, took their place.

6. In these modern times, parents often give theirdaughters names that were once consideredmasculine, like Sidney or Taylor.

Today, parents often give their daughters names thatwere once considered masculine, like Sidney orTaylor.


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Exercise E.1 Wordy Sentences7. It is also true that some parents try to make their

daughters names seem quite unusual by spelling atraditional name in a way that is not consideredtraditional.

Some parents try to make their daughters names

seem unusual by spelling a traditional name in anontraditional way.

8. Boys names, however, have really changed verylittle and not as noticeably.

Boys names, however, have not changed as noticeably.


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Exercise E.1 Wordy Sentences9. For decades the most popular of the names parents

have given to boys has been MichaelFor decades the most popular boys name has been

Michael.

10. It may perhaps be true, as the results of a recentpoll suggest, that parents think having an unusualname is helpful to girls and having an unusual nameis harmful to boys.

Perhaps, as the results of a recent poll suggest, parentsthink having an unusual name helps girls and harmsboys.


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Choose Appropriate Language Stay away from jargon (theres a time and a place for it)

We outsourced the work to an outfit in Ohio because wedidnt have the bandwidth to tackle it in-house.

We hired a company in Ohio because we had too fewemployees to do the work.

The CEO should dialogue with investors aboutpartnering with clients to purchase land ineconomically deprived zones.

The CEO should talk with investors about working withclients to buy land in poor neighborhoods.


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Choose Appropriate LanguageAvoid pretentious language

Taylors employment of multihued means ofexpression draws back the curtains and lets slip thenostalgic vantage point from which she observesAmerican society as well as her lack of

comprehension of economic realities.Taylors use of colorful language reveals that she has a

sentimental view of American society and does notunderstand economic realities.


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Choose Appropriate LanguageAvoid most euphemisms

Nice-sounding words or phrases substituted for wordsthought to sound harsh or ugly Adult entertainmentpornography

Pre-owned automobileused car

Economically deprivedpoor

Negative savingsbroke

Strategic withdrawalretreat, surrender

Correctional facilityprison, jail

Revenue enhancerstaxes

Chemical dependencyaddictionAvoid doublespeak

Deliberately evasive or deceptive language

Downsizing = firing employees


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Choose Appropriate LanguageAvoid sexist language

Chairmanchair person Firemanfirefighter

Mailmanmail carrier

Mankindhumans

Weathermanmeteorologist

Rather than use too many he/she his/her, use plural

Best to rewrite sentence to avoid problem

completely


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Choose Appropriate Language Revise language that may offend groups of people

Offensive language changes overtime and in regardsto place pay attention to your audience!

North Dakota takes its name from the Indian wordmeaning friend or ally.

North Dakota takes its name from the Lakota wordmeaning friend or ally.


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Find Exact Words Select words with appropriate connotations

When American soldiers returned home after WorldWar II, many women abandoned their jobs in favorof marriage.

When American soldiers returned home after WorldWar II, many women left their jobs in favor ofmarriage.


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Exercise E. 6 Word Choice3. They seem to other people to have pretty much

every advantage.Pretty much = nearly

4. Their families and comrades ordinarily have a roughtime comprehending why they will not eat.

Comrades = friends

Rough = difficult


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Exercise E. 6 Word Choice5. Because anorexia is a psychological disorder, the

sufferers themselves may not catch on to what causedthe onset of their illness.

Catch on to = understand

6. Anorexics have a weird body image.

Weird = distorted


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Exercise E. 6 Word Choice7. They often believe they are totally overweight unless

they are dangerously slender.Totally = extremely

Slender = thin

8. The disease is notoriously difficult to treat, even ifthe patient tries to go along with her doctors.

Go along = cooperate


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Other words/phrasesA lot of = many, severalStart = begin, commence


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Ex E 7 Concrete Specific Detail


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Ex.E.7 Concrete, Specific Detail1. Every year, a large number of high school students

take standardized tests.Every year, almost all college-bound high schooljuniors take one or more college admissions tests.

2. A good test score can help a student.

A high test score can help a student gain admissionto a prestigious college.

3. Test-preparation courses are becoming popular.

Test-preparation courses, which give studentspractice exams to measure their progress, arebecoming popular.

Ex E 7 Concrete Specific Detail


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Ex.E.7 Concrete, Specific Detail4. These courses are expensive.

These courses can cost hundreds of dollars.5. Experts disagree about the value of such courses.

Educators disagree about whether test-preparationcourses actually help students prepare for the

exam and for college work.


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Fi d E W d


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Find Exact Words Do not misuse words

These days the training required for a ballet dancer isall-absorbent.

These days the training required for a ballet dancer isall-absorbing.

Find Exact Words


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Find Exact Words Use Standard Idioms

Speech forms that follow no easily specified rules

NEVER ALWAYS

Angry at (a person) Angry with (a person)

Agree to (an idea) Agree with (an idea)

Different than Different from

Off of Off

Plan on doing Plan to do

think on Think of; think about

Try and; sure and Try to; sure to

Fi d E W d


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Find Exact Words Do not rely heavily on clichs

All of these are so overused that they can be completedjust from memory Cool as a

Beat around

Blind as a

Crystal

Dead as a

Light as a

Like a bull

Nutty as a Playing with

Use figures of speech with care Similes & metaphors

E 8 Figures of Speech


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E. 8 Figures of Speech

1. For generations, women were considered to be

delicate flowers too fragile for sports.Delicate flowers

2. Many people thought that women would die likean old tree if they were too physically active.

Die like an old tree



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3. Even though these mistaken beliefs were

widespread, women athletes have moved forwardby leaps and bounds.

Moved forward by leaps and bounds

4. Individual women athletes, like the track and

golf star Babe Didrikson Zaharias, had to be asstrong as an ox.

As strong as an ox



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5. During World War II, a womens baseball league

drew spectators like a snake in the grass when ashortage of male players depleted mens teams.

Like a snake in the grass

6. The end of the war nipped the womens league in

the bud.Nipped in the bud



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7. The American womens movement of the 1970s

was the dawn of a new era for women in sports.The dawn of a new era

8. A battle of the sexes took place in tennis duringthat decade, when Billie Jean King, a star female

player, made Bobby Riggs, an avowed malechauvinist who had challenged her, look as weakas the ocean tides.

As weak as the ocean tides



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9. In the following decades, some individual women

became sports heroes, like Florence GriffithJoyner, who could run like the wind.

Run like the wind

10. Finally, in the 1990s, the popularity of womens

basketball and soccer spread like a disease in acrowded city.

Spread like a disease in a crowded city


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For Wednesday Rough draft Essay #2 (either compare/contrast OR

classification/division)

Read sample essays online (under Essay #2 sampleessays tab)

MWEng100BC ApLangWordyExact Apostrophes Commas FA14

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