Mr. Conic Is ArrestedAuthor(s): Michael CorneliusSource: Mathematics in School, Vol. 18, No. 5 (Nov., 1989), p. 27Published by: The Mathematical AssociationStable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/30216370 .

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mr MIICSoe Is arres

by Michael Cornelius, University of Durham

It was a drowsy Friday afternoon. Mr Conic dozed at his desk whilst 3B grappled with their individual booklets. There seem to be some excitement in the class. "Sir, there's a police car coming up the school drive" "Just ignore it, get on with your work."

"But, sir, its blue light's flashing" Mr Conic couldn't help watching himself and wondering

what was happening. A few seconds later, footsteps in the corridor, the door flung open and two blue uniforms in the doorway. Gasps of astonishment from the class. "Mr Conic?" asked one of the blue uniforms, "Er, yes. That's me." "Will you please come with us to the station, sir, we'd like to ask you some questions." "But what for?" exclaimed Mr Conic. "Best if youjust come quietly, sir, we don't want a fuss, do we?" "But..." gulped My Conic before he was led away between the uniforms watched by an incredulous class. A few minutes later all the 3B faces were glued to the window as the police car raced along the drive with Mr Conic in the back.

Sitting in a bare room, windows barred, little furniture, Mr Conic started as the door opened and two officers came in,

Mathematics in School, November 1989

"Please" exclaimed Mr Conic, "Please may I know what I'm here for?" "Just keep calm, sir. First I must warn you that anything you say may be used in evidence against you. And, secondly, I'd like to ask you some questions." "But, I want to know why ..." began Mr Conic. "Do you know what a profile component is?" "Er, yes. Or rather I mean I'm not sure ..." "What about a programme of study?" "Er, well its something like er ..." "Can you tell us the difference between a SAT and an AT?" "Well, er, I think ..."

The courtroom was hushed as Mr Conic took the oath before Judge Baker. "Call, Mr. Greyham." "Are you Mr Greyham, HMI?" "I6 am."9 "Can you tell us what happend on October 25?" "Yes. I was visiting Hyperbola Comprehensive School. In the afternoon I was present for a mathema- tics lesson taken by Mr Conic with 3B." 'Can you tell us what happened?" "Yes. I saw Mr Conic giving a lesson on matrices. Such a topic is not in the National Curriculum. Also in giving a lesson to the whole class, he clearly did not appreciate that all pupils were at different National Curriculum levels and should be taught individually." "The topics to be taught are laid down in the National Curriculum which is part of the law of the land - is that not so?"

"It is." "Thank you, Mr Greyham. Call Sharon Quick." "Now Sharon. Can you tell me if Mr Conic often teaches you all as a class?" "Yes, he does. It's great ..." "Yes, well ... and does he tell you and your parents at what levels each of the class is performing?" "What's that, I don't know what you're talking about

"Thank you Sharon. No further questions."

"Gentlemen of the jury, do you find the defendent guilty or not guilty?" "Guilty M'lud." "Mr Conic, you have been found guilty of a most severe breach of the law. It is your responsibility to both acquaint yourself with the law and to carry out your duties in accordance with the law. This you have clearly failed to do. I propose to make an example of you in order to discourage other teachers from attempting to digress from the National Curriculum. Normally I would have imposed a long prison sentence but, in your case that would be too lenient." Gasps from around the court. "Silence in court." "I propose to sentence you to five years work with the National Curriculum Council."

There were mutters of astonishment throughout the court. Few could believe the severity of the sentence. Mr Conic was flabbergasted. He could never have imagined such a harsh punishment. He slumped forward in his seat - a broken man ... an arm was pulling at his shoulder.

"Come on Mr Conic" said the figure brandishing a newspaper in front of him. "Wake up, you've been snoring. And look I've just found this advert for a job with the National Curriculum Council. Why don't you apply?"

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