8/13/2019 Morning Post - April Fool's Day, 2011

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Friday, April 1, 2011

HFHS IN THE NEWS 

Ford Doc Quits: All Washed Up (Detroi t Free Press)  

The person in charge of increasing the number of hospitalemployees who wash their hands regularly to combat thespread of infection at Henry Ford Health System abruptly quit yesterday. In his resignation letter, WilliamConway, M.D., wrote, “I’ve washed my hands of handwashing.” Dr. Conway wrote that the job had becomeoverwhelming, frustrating and dry, according to the letterobtained by the Free Press. “I have dish pan hands,”moaned Dr. Conway in a brief interview by phone. Dr.

Conway refused further comment. A spokesman for thehospital said a replacement hasn’t been selected but asearch has been launched. The spokesman added, “Dr.Conway had a very difficult job. I mean, who wants thecrappy job of constantly reminding adult men and womento wash their hands? That’s what you tell a 4-year-old.” 

Henry Ford to Expand Abroad (Crain’s Detroit

Business)  Dr. Mark Kelley, recently named CMO of HFHS, toldCrain’s that the health system plans to build and staff aseries of new medical centers throughout the world overthe next three years. “The patient market in southeast

Michigan is flat and is projected to stay that way for adecade,” said Dr. Kelley. “On the other hand, ourmarketing efforts into Canada have been very successful.So, we think Henry Ford will draw patients in othercountries.” Tentatively slated for new Henry Ford medicalcenters are Dubai, Bermuda, St. Lucia, Monte Carlo,Geneva, Cabo San Lucas, St. Maarten and Maui. Whenthe 1,100 physicians of the medical group were surveyedas to their interest in the new centers, 983 physiciansindicated they are willing to move.

Men Who What? (TV2)  TV2 has learned that the popular fund-raiser at a Detroit

hospital called “Men Who Cook” has been changed to“Men Who Think They Can Cook.” The PhilanthropyDepartment at Henry Ford Hospital did a cost analysisand found that it could raise four times the amount ofmoney by dumping the fantasy that men can cook andreplacing it with something more realistic and pragmatic.While most men at the hospital applauded the switch(“The pressure is off; now I can bring macaroni.”), womenhad a different take. “Most can’t cook, period. Their wivesdo it for them. All they do is warm it up,” snapped aphysician’s spouse who did all of the work but got none ofthe glory. Another woman said, “It’s a good move – andI’m tired of judging and spending a for tune on Maaloxevery year.” 

Can You Hip-Hop a Hospital? (Video) (Advert is ing Age)  What happens when you mash up marketing videos of aDetroit-based hospital with Dr. Dre, TV’s House andEminem? You get a very interesting ad campaign for theinternationally recognized facility: Henry Ford Hospital.Check it out. 

INSIDE HFHS

HR and IT: “iEngagement: The Final Frontier” IT and HR departments at Henry Ford Health Systemannounced they have developed a software program tohandle all HR issues: “iEngagement: The Final Frontier.”The software, when finished, will be a one-stop shop forall employees. The new program promises to be faster,easier, intuitive, friendlier, robust, effortless,uncomplicated, simple and more straightforward than thecurrent process. Employee issues handled by“iEngagement: The Final Frontier” include payroll, health

engagement issues, employment engagement issues,annual performance reviews, self-employee issues aswell as a direct computer link to Target’s bridal registry.

Henry Ford Announces Leadership PromotionIt was announced last night that Dr. John Popovich, Jr., a35-year veteran of Henry Ford Hospital, was promotedfrom hospital President and CEO to Captain of theHospital. His first order of business, he said, is to renamethe flagship facility: The H.M.S. Henry Ford Hospital.Dr. Popovich added that his new responsibilities willinclude staying the course in Detroit, mapping out newadventures and blogging about them, and toeing the

System line. “As we face economic uncertainty andchallenges …(64 minutes later) we’re going to lookstarboard with renewed vigor,” said Captain Popovich.“From now on, it’s going to be all hands on deck.”  Readmore about the promotion. 

Morning Post to Shut DownThis will be the last issue of the Morning Post. The PublicRelations Department will be replacing the dailyemail beginning next Monday in an effort to make thenews more personal for HFHS employees. Since thelarge number of emails generated by the Morning Post isoverwhelming the computer system, IT has asked that

something less technical be used in its place. Sobeginning Monday, April 4 look for town criers on hospitalfloors, hourly employee huddles, and one-text-per-minuteupdates to your personal cell phones to bring the verylatest System news and information to your businessunits and departments. Learn more about the changes. 

Published by the HFHS Media Relations Department.