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ATTRACTING PEOPLE TO ATTRACTING PEOPLE TO YOU YOU

In West Virginia folklore there is a story of a country doctor who was called out to a holler late one night to assist a woman about to give birth. By the time the doctor arrived at the farmhouse, things had progressed to a point where the doctorasked the husband to help him by holding a gas lantern up high in order to illuminate the makeshift delivery room.

Before long, the courageous mother delivered a healthy baby boy. As the father lowered the lantern, the doctor barked an order to keep the lantern aloft: "We're not done yet." Shortly, a second child appeared on the scene, a healthy baby girl. Shaken by the unexpected arrival of twins, the father heard the doctor say once again, "We can't stop now. It looks as if it's going to be triplets." To which the stunned father, still holding the lantern high, replied, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"

Light has a quality of attraction. I recently left my office door open late one afternoon in our mountain home and, at dusk, the light from within attracted -- a hummingbird! (Coaxing a hummingbird out of the house is a little like pushing a rope. Mostly, whatever you do doesn't work.)

You, too, have a light that attracts...an inner light. Notvisible to the naked eye, but apparent just the same. We speak of a "twinkle" in the eye or a "flicker" of warmth in the heart. Some people shine with a light of kindness. Others emit a light of hope. There are those who glow with enthusiasm and still others who radiate love.

Almost all creatures are drawn to light, including humans. Do you want to attract people to you? Positive and life-affirming inner qualities can attract people like a warm fire on a cold night.

What will draw other people to you best cannot be purchased in any department store. They will respond to that which radiates from within.

You may not always see it, but your light is shining through. And it's one of your most attractive qualities!

Steve Goodier

Celebrate the moments of your Celebrate the moments of your life life

Live as though today is the only day that has ever been and the only day that will ever be. For, in some ways those things are true.

Today is the day that is here now, the one you have with which to work. You cannot change the days in the past, nor can you yet reach the future. Yet today is more than enough. Anything you could possibly dream or desire, you can begin to create for your world today.

Imagine the wonder and awe you would feel if today was the only day you had ever experienced. Imagine the sense of urgency you would have if today was the only day that you would ever be able to experience.

Go through this day with that sense of awe, with that driving urgency. Treat this day as if it were the only day ever. And by doing so, you will make it the best day ever.

When you must get over the mountain, you've got to begin to climb. Much effort will be required, and the sooner you start to climb the sooner you'll reach the other side.

Just because the task is difficult is no reason to avoid it. Just because the odds are stacked against you is no reason to back away. While you're complaining that things are too unfair, complicated or overwhelming, they generally become even more so. Better then to simply start to work on them right away.

Just because you've fallen short in the past is no reason to avoid acting in the present with new energy and resolve. With each mistake and every experience, you've learned and refined your skills. You're more experienced and more capable now than ever before. Put your past disappointments to positive use by transforming them into present opportunities.

Get going, get busy, and you'll put even the most daunting challenges successfully behind you.Ralph Marston

You can choose to: fault yourself, get depressed, get angry, second guess your faith and possibilities, live in fear, put yourself down and always live in the dead past, feel like a victim, focus on your pain, seek to be perfection instead of progress or ----

You can choose to: be bold and move forward, forgive yourself, shake it off, make amends, own your chooses and say "the next time I'm in that situation I will choose wiser", move to plan B, choose progress, optimism, faith and gratitude, accentuate the positive and focus on what's next."Jewel Diamond Taylor

Stop kicking yourself about your past regrets and disappointments.

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.

But I can listen to you, and together we can seek answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor thefuture with it's untold stories.But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;Yet I can share in your laughter and joy.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,

But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.

I can only love you and be your friend.

Your life has a purpose, something uniquely suited to who you are. The more closely you align your day-to-day priorities with that purpose, the more fulfillment you'll know.

When the priorities you've chosen stray away from your purpose, then life becomes filled with frustration. When you put your time and effort into things that don't really matter, it brings on a painful, gnawing emptiness.

If something is truly important to the core of your being, then there is most certainly a way to make it happen. When you make the effort and spend the time on what really matters, the rewards will be great indeed.It will never be easy to follow your purpose. For by its very definition, your highest purpose demands the best that you have to offer. Yet following that purpose will fulfill you in a way that nothing else can. To every extent possible, align your priorities to who you truly are. Let your own special greatness light up this world.Ralph Marston

It's easy to just go along with life - perhaps we have a vague feeling that this isn't the way we expected it to be, or we might even feel so overwhelmed by the demands on our time that anything else seems impossible. Mostly, we don't take the time step back and think about the life we are leading or the relationships we have created.

Often we're so busy juggling work, family, relationship and other commitments that even five minutes alone is a luxury. Yet taking a little time to assess our current life can be both revealing and helpful. It can show us how to make more of every day, help us to reduce our stress levels, or allow us to refocus on the things that are really important to us.

Learning to look at our surroundings with fresh eyes can help us to look at our life anew too.

Jot down your answers to each of the following questions:

What is Actually Happening to You Now?

Keep the answer to this question a specific description of what is happening now, not what you think might be happening. For instance: 'Life is really good' or 'I lose my temper and say things I regret later.'

What is Not Happening?

This question is useful because problems often revolve more around what is not happening than around what is actually taking place. For example: 'I'm not standing up for myself' or 'I'm not seeing my daughter as much as I would like.' This question can be used to highlight positive things too, for instance: 'I'm not smoking anymore.'

What are Other People Doing or Not Doing?

This question helps you to separate yourself from the other people involved. You need to take responsibility for what you are doing - not what others are doing. For example: 'She is being critical of everything I do' or 'He is supporting my return to college.'

What are You Thinking?

Distinguishing between thought, feeling and action is an important aspect of self-awareness. When our senses perceive something, we react by thinking; those thoughts create our physical and emotional response. This leads to whatever action we take. While we are experiencing this it all seems to happen at once, but the process can be separated. Changing your perceptions and how you think about a situation will inevitably change how you feel and then what you do in response.

What are You Feeling?

Your feelings are a product of the way you are thinking. Imagine three mothers faced with a huge telephone bill. The family will need to miss out on a trips and treats for a couple of months to pay. Mother 1 thinks, 'This always happens to me.' Mother 2 thinks 'It's all my daughter's fault, she spends hours on the phone. She never considers my feelings.' Mother 3 thinks 'If we budget carefully this will be fine. I need to talk to my daughter about how much she is using the phone.'

Whatever they are thinking and feeling will not change the situation. This is why it is important that we take responsibility for our feelings and thoughts rather than assume that they are caused by someone or something outside of us. It may seem as though someone else is making you feel what you feel, but this is not really so. Although you can, and should, hold others accountable for their behavior towards you, you cannot blame them for how you are feeling.

Each of these mothers is in the same situation and exposed to the same amount of stress, but each of them has a different experience. Mother 1 feels resignation and sadness; Mother 2 feels blaming and hurt; Mother 3 feels calm and composed.

What Are You Doing?

You will be reacting in some way to the thoughts and feelings you have described. When you answer this question, try to analyze your actual behavior, rather than say what you think you ought to be doing; for instance: 'I withdraw from people' or 'I avoid her'.

What would you prefer to be happening?This question will help you to clarify any changes you want to make. It may be that you decide to concentrate on just one area at once, or you might choose to work on several areas.

Try the following exercise:

Close your eyes and focus on listening. Notice how many sounds you can hear.Briefly describe your experience. Were you surprised by how much you could hear?Before you continue, reflect on this experience of listening. How many sounds came into your consciousness as time went on? For instance, you may have become aware of the sound of your heart beating, or of your own breathing; of distant bird song or traffic; or of a clock ticking. These sounds were going on all the time out of your awareness. The pace of modern living makes it hard to be conscious of everything around us and we can be very cut off from the richness of our environment.

Developing Awareness

We are able to block out much of the distractions around us. While this is a useful skill, allowing us to concentrate on work in a busy office, for example, it can mean we miss out on a lot too.

Now try the following:Look around the room, noticing the shapes, color, forms and textures that you can see. Relax your eyes and let things go out of focus. Try to see as a visitor from Mars might see things. The Martian wouldn't know the name or the purpose of anything. He wouldn't be able to make judgments like something being in the right place; dirty or clean; old or new. Try looking at just one object for at least five minutes and notice whether it (or your view of it) changes as time passes.

Carry with you the idea of peace. And peace will become a part of all you do. Carry with you the idea of abundance. And as you go through each moment, you'll realize and experience the immense abundance that is there for you to live.

Carry with you the idea of giving. The gifts you give will enrich the world around you, and you as well. Carry with you the idea of gratitude and thankfulness for all that is. And in all you encounter you'll find true treasures for which you can be sincerely thankful.

Carry with you the idea of love. And grace will reach into all your moments. Carry with you the idea of a life that's filled with meaning and purpose. And know how precious and wonderful it is to live.

Ralph Marston

ALIVE AND PRESENT

Architect Frank Lloyd Wright once told of a childhood incident that may have seemed insignificant at the time, but had a profound influence on the rest of his life. It happened when he was nine years old. It was winter. Young Frank was walking across a snow-covered field with his uncle. As the two of them reached the far end of the field, his uncle stopped him. He pointed out his own tracks in the snow, straight and true as an arrow's flight, and then young Frank's tracks meandering all over the field.

"Notice how your tracks wander aimlessly from the fence to the cattle to the woods and back again," his uncle said. "And see how my tracks aim directly to my goal. There is an important lesson in that."

Years later the world-famous architect liked to tell how thisexperience had greatly contributed to his life's philosophy. "Idetermined right then," he'd say with a twinkle in his eye, "not tomiss most things in life, as my uncle had."

He determined to be alive and present. To be fully aware and squeeze as much life out of each moment as possible.

We will miss most things in life if we live in the past. Let us learn from the past, but not live there.

We will miss most things in life if we live in the future. Let us plan for the future, but not live there.

We will miss little if we live in the present. And we'll have more fun along the way!

Steve Goodier

Commitment is not just a simple act of wishing forsomething. Commitment is a decision to dowhatever it takes. You may wish to be in awesome shape, But, youwon't succeed until you decide to put down thechocolates, get off the couch, and start exercising,regularly! Yes, this is hard to hear, but that's whatcommitment is all about-deciding to put in thesweat and effort and sacrifice, to achieve the goalsyou hold hear. The sweat and effort may come from your head, asin commitment to your workplace or achieving yourgoals. It may come from your heart, as incommitment to a relationship to your children. But, whatever it comes from, it requires a decisionnot only to start, but persevere. Remember, therewards you seek are priceless, and worth everymoment of dedicated effort. for the future, but not live there.

We will miss little if we live in the present. And we'll have more funalong the way!

Steve Goodier

When you must get over the mountain, you've got to begin to climb. Much effort will be required, and the sooner you start to climb the sooner you'll reach the other side.

Just because the task is difficult is no reason to avoid it. Just because the odds are stacked against you is no reason to back away. While you're complaining that things are too unfair, complicated or overwhelming, they generally become even more so. Better then to simply start to work on them right away.

Just because you've fallen short in the past is no reason to avoid acting in the present with new energy and resolve. With each mistake and every experience, you've learned and refined your skills. You're more experienced and more capable now than ever before. Put your past disappointments to positive use by transforming them into present opportunities.

Get going, get busy, and you'll put even the most daunting challenges successfully behind you.

Ralph Marston

It's time to clean house and surrender any destructivethoughts in your head. No more will you allownegative people to scramble your brain. No more willyou dwell on painful uncomfortable times. Let go means - Let Go! Make it a priority to keep investing in yourself andyour well being. Make room in your life for happiness,success, healing and fulfilling relationships. Before you know it, you will start feeling entitled toabundance. And, that is as it should be.

How much of your life do you spend living in thepresent? Research shows that it is very little. Wespend a lot of time ruminating about thepast, or speculating about the future. Tomake things worse, much of this "non-present"thinking is negative, We thinkabout the things we might have done, or wethink about future dramas that may, inreality, never occur. Or we might just simplywish it was Friday, and effectively wish asignificant portion of our lives away. The secret to real peace and happiness is tolive in the present-to focus on the "Now" If you catch yourself living in another timezone remember, the present is wherefulfillment is.

You think you need this and you think you need that, but you are wrong. You already have it. You already have it and the only thing you must do is to make use of it. It is there for you to discover, there for you to realize.

Whatever you may dream or desire, there is a path that will lead you to it. The first step on that path is right in front of you this very moment. Thoughts of lack and limitation serve only to hide the truth of abundance that is all around you. Look past those limiting thoughts and see the reality of magnificent possibilities.

To fulfill those possibilities, to experience your own unique flavor of abundance, takes effort, integrity and persistence. Yet all these things you already have, and they're waiting to be put to use.

What you think you need, what you truly desire, is already there. Have the courage and the confidence to go to it.

Ralph Marston

When you think about what you don't want tohappen, it happens! Concentrating on what you fearand obsessing about negative outcomes has a wayof manifesting disastrous images in your head.These images are very powerful and often turn intoreality. Instead, create pictures in your mind of what youwant. Imagine the best possible outcome. Take aminute or two everyday to do this. When you focus on things you really want,rather than toward what you don't want, you aremore apt to have it happen. Try it.

Confidence is a strong powerful force thatgives you the ability to conquer life's obstacles.The confidence comes from you. and it is up to youto keep it going in times of doubt. Pretend to be what you want to be until you arrive.If you feel like you have tried everything, but this.It may be the missing piece of the puzzle. Use this idea as an inspiration to stand up andtackle anything that you are unsure about. Fake ifyou have to. Just remember, it won't take long foryour confidence to pave the way.

You can relax any time. You can even relax right now. Relaxation is not something that must be put off until you have nothing to do. Even when you are extremely busy and active you can benefit from the power of relaxation.

Relaxation is a state of mind that does not depend on what you're doing or what you're not doing. In fact, relaxation will make you far more effective and creative when it accompanies even your most strenuous efforts.

Much of the effort of effort is in overcoming your own resistance. Let yourself relax about it, and suddenly it's not bad at all.

Imagine yourself totally relaxed, free of worries, free of anxieties, free of any pain or discomfort. Just thinking about being relaxed can immediately put you in a state of higher positive energy.

Now go beyond just thinking about it and simply let yourself relax. It will bring powerful, effective energy to everything you do.

Ralph Marston