Mork Aftermath

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    Excerpts from the Memoirs

    of

    Werner Mork Aus Meiner Sicht (From My View)

    Copyright !""# $y Werner Mork A%% rights reser&e'

    ther se%ections from these memoirs in the origin % *erm n text c n $e foun'on the we$site of the *erm n +istoric % Museum,

    http,--www.'hm.'e-%emo-forum-ko%%ekti&es/ge' echtnis-

    0r ns% tion $y 1 nie% +. Set2er 3u$%ishe' here $y permission of the uthor

    0r ns% tion Copyright !"4" $y 1 nie% +. Set2er

    http://www.dhm.de/lemo/forum/kollektives_gedaechtnis/http://www.dhm.de/lemo/forum/kollektives_gedaechtnis/
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    May 8, 1945 !

    We were no %onger p rt of 'ep%oyment5 for us there were no more or'ers from $o&e to o$ey. 6t w ss though we were %re 'y written7off s nothing more th n % ugh $%e remn nt5 no %onger com$ t7

    re 'y n' no %onger of ny use. 8o one took ny interest in us e&en though e&ery h n' w s nee'e'

    now if 9ust to gr sp t str ws. Without us5 %m:t2 w s %ost on M y #5 4;eich th t h ' oncec %%e' itse%f the ?*re ter *erm n >eich5? +err A'mir % 1@nit25 conce'e' the uncon'ition % surren'er ofthe go&ernment n' the rmy. 8ow the >ussi n p% nes f%ying o&er us 'roppe' %e f%ets inste ' of

    $om$s nnouncing the c pitu% tion n' instructing us on how to $eh &e now th t truce w s in effect.

    n M y 5 4;A1 D>eichs7Ar$eiter'ienst, Work rig 'es n' the rmy. 8ow 6 w s h ppy th t the W ffen7SS 'i' not ccept mewhen 6 trie' to &o%unteer for th t org ni2 tion. 6 w s %so h ppy th t 6 h ' sur&i&e' %% these ye rs5 th t6 w s ne&er woun'e' n' th t 6 w s not cripp%e. 6 w s f ir%y he %thy n' on%y %itt%e t ttere'5 $ut 6w s %i&e. 6 h ' sur&i&e' s norm % %itt%e pri& te first c% ss without ny speci % r nk5 nothing more to

    '' n' without ny speci % recognition. 6 w s ?nothing? in this gre t rmy5 the Wehrm cht5 n' 6w nte' nothing more th n to simp%y go home n' to try to %i&e in pe ce n' to $ui%' re % %ife. 6w nte' to h &e home n' f mi%y n' to s%ow%y forget the ins nity of this w r. ut 6 %so w nte' tohe%p $ui%' 'emocr tic soci %istic st te th t wou%' fore&er $e free from the m 'ness of w r. 6 h '

    $ecome p cifist n' swore to myse%f ne&er to $ecome so%'ier e&er g in. My 're ms of Gtopi h 'not yet %eft me n' 6 w s con&ince' th t in the new ge to come >e son wou%' reign in %% n tions n'

    %% peop%es reg r'%ess of r ce or skin co%or. Houng foo% th t 6 w s5 6 $e%ie&e' th t mi%%ions of others %ime in %% % n's wou%' renounce the ins nity of w r s so%ution to po%itic % pro$%ems. My Gtopi ni'e s were sti%% with me n' 6 w s con&ince' th t in this new ge >e son wou%' fin %%y reign supreme

    mong %% the n tions in the wor%'.

    3e ce w s here5 $ut first we so%'iers h ' to m rch into 3 W c mps5 there w s no more 'irect w y toget home. 0his 're m w s n' rem ine' for m ny not on%y %ong7st n'ing 're m5 it %e' m ny to their'e ths in spite of the w r?s en'.

    *erm ny w s in sh m$%es. 0he >eich no %onger existe'. ur once so %o&e' n' honore' F:hrermocke' his peop%e n' their s crifices yet g in with the o$ser& tion th t they 'eser&e' nothing $etterth n this 'ownf %%. 0hen this crimin % took the cow r'?s w y out $y ki%%ing himse%f inste ' of st n'ingup $efore the peop%e n' nswering for his mis'ee's.

    A%% of the *erm n 're ms n' wishes were tot %%y wrecke'. 0he goo' *erm n ch r cter h ' $rought $oun'%ess sorrow o&er the wor%' which h ' its h n's fu%% now trying to he % from wh t the *erm ns

    n' others h ' 'one to it. 0here were m ny p rties responsi$%e for the c uses of this w r5 $ut not muchw s $eing s i' $out them. 0he prim ry gui%ty p rty w s *erm ny n' 8 2iism s the origin tor ofthese m ssi&e genoci'es. 0he gui%ty p rty h ' $een conIuere' n' the wor%' court cou%' now sit in

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    9u'gment s se%f7s tisfie'5 no$%e n' 9ust conIuerors o&er the e&i% spirits.

    D...

    0he w r w s o&er5 the >eich n' the 8 2i 3 rty h ' surren'ere' uncon'ition %%y s or'ere'5 $ut the o%'Dmi%it ry spirit w s not $roken s 6 c n we%% ttest once 6 h ' entere' the 3 W c mp.

    0he >ussi n %e f%ets h ' informe' us of the truce n' to%' us wh t we h ' to 'o. We were wi%%ing tofo%%ow the instructions5 $ut the E stern Army?s comm n'er5 *ener % Sch@rner5 w s not re 'y to comp%y.

    %oo'houn' Sch@rner w nte' to use the ce se7fire to conso%i' te wh t int ct com$ t units he h ' %eft inor'er to c rry on the w r with the >ussi ns e&en fter M y th. 0he ins nity w s not yet t n en'5un$e%ie& $%e s it m y seem5 m ny so%'iers preferre' to continue fighting r ther th n to go into the>ussi n 3 W c mps. 0he men tru%y fe re' the >ussi n c mps n' Sch@rner w s $%e to use this fe rto continue with his pri& te w r unti% e&en th t w r c me to n en'. E&entu %%y5 e&en these units h ' to% y 'own their rms.

    0he so%'iers who p rticip te' in this post ce se7firection h ' %et themse%&es in for some m 9or

    pro$%ems. From th t point they were no %ongerconsi'ere' $y the >ussi ns to $e so%'iers5 $ut r ther

    p rtis ns n' s such riske' the 'e th pen %ty fortheir ctions. 0here must h &e $een m ny horri$%escen rios th t p% ye' out5 $ut not for %oo'houn'Sch@rner who took off in the other 'irection in hisFiese%er Storch ircr ft tow r' the rem ining A%pinestrongho%'s. From there he w nte' to try n'con&ince the Americ ns to continue the fight g inst

    o%she&ism n' the >ussi ns. 0he Americ ns wereh &ing none of it n' they turne' him o&er to theSo&iets.

    0he So&iets 'i' not simp%y t ke him out n' shoothim5 this w s in contr st to m ny of ?his? so%'iers whocontinue' the fight un'er his or'ers on%y to h &e him $ n'on them without conscience s he f%e' toAustri n' %eft them to their f te. Wh t sh $$y $eh &ior for this true 8 2i gener %5 this 'e'ic te'fo%%ower of +it%er. +is F:hrer h ' committe' suici'e5 $ut he5 the *ener % Fie%' M rsh %%5 simp%y

    $ugge'7out un'er the con&iction th t his type w s sti%% in gre t 'em n'5 now $y their one7time enemy5the Americ ns. 0hey were %% $ st r'sJ

    0hings were 'ifferent in our outfit. After thenews $out the c pitu% tion our comm n'erc %%e' us %% together n' ''resse' thegroup. First he re%e se' us %% from our o thto the F:hrer which we h ' $een reIuire' tot ke. We no %onger h ' to o$ser&e th t o th5

    n' there w s no new one to fo%%ow. 0henour comm n'er nnounce' th t we were freeto go nywhere we w nte'. +e '&ise' us to

    General Ferdinand Schrner

    Fieseler Storch Airplane

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    consi'er sticking together r ther th n going off %one through hosti%e C2echos%o& ki to fin' w yhome. 6t w s un%ike%y th t the C2ech free'om fighters wou%' %et ny *erm n so%'ier w n'ering %one

    p ss free%y. +e in&ite' us to st y together n' cooper te to try n' get $ ck to the *erm n $or'er. Wewou%' h &e the use n' protection of our &ehic%es n' our %ight we pons to get us w y from the>ussi ns n' tow r' the Americ ns.

    After his speech we took n ctu % 'emocr tic &ote n' $y th t &ote e&eryone gree' to fo%%ow the

    '&ice of our comm n'er. +e w s sti%% our comm n'er n' wou%' rem in so.

    0he next pro$%em w s to figure out which w y we shou%' go to get $ ck home. A %ook t the m psuggeste' th t the shortest w y $ ck wou%' $e to go in the 'irection of u'weis n' from there itwou%' $e short hop to Austri . +owe&er5 our comm n'er h ' he r' from our st ff he 'Iu rters th tthis p th wou%' $e fu%% of 'ifficu%ties %ong the w y. 6n his opinion it wou%' $e $etter to he ' out in the'irection of 6g% u n' from there continue on to 3i%2en. 6t wou%' t ke us w y from the >ussi ns n'we knew th t the Americ ns were %re 'y in 3i%2en. nce g in e&eryone &ote' on the p% n. 0he&oting w s &ery 'ifferent n' tot %%y new fee%ing for %% of us so%'iers.

    8ext we 'estroye' e&ery piece of eIuipment th t w s consi'ere' to $e unnecess ry $ %% st. We 'i' not

    w nt it to f %% into the h n's of the C2echs. From %% of the &ehic%es we se%ecte' two trucks n' K:$e%w gen for the Chief. As we pons we wou%' on%y t ke h n'7he%' guns with sm %% mount ofmmunition. We use' h n' gren 'es to $%ow up n' $urn %% of the &ehic%es5 we pons n' munitions

    th t we were not t king with us. 1uring %% of this we were %ucky not to h &e ?&isit? from the C2echfree'om fighters. 0h t wou%' h &e $een &ery unp%e s nt.

    We s w >ussi n ircr ft f%y o&er us g in5 $ut they 'i' no more th n 'rop more %e f%ets '&ising us th tthe ce se7fire went into effect t mi'night n' instructing %% *erm n so%'iers to rem in in their current

    positions5 % y 'own rms n' w it the rri& % of the >ussi n units. Anyone sti%% un'er rms fter the

    Oberstleutnant Otto Fondermann- Our Commander

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    our go %. 6n spite of the 'ifficu%ties we 'i' m n ge to st y together. Without too much trou$%e n'with cert in %ight5 hopefu% nticip tion we 'ro&e on to where we thought we were cert in to $umpinto the Americ ns.

    After short ri'e we c me to p% ce where we were su''en%y confronte' $y $ rric 'e m nne' $yrme' C2echs. y force of rms we were force' to 'ri&e un'er their escort to m rket sIu re in their

    sm %% town. Arme' 'efense w sn?t possi$%e $ec use we were so Iuick%y surroun'e' $y the C2echs.ur chief recogni2e' this n' for$i' us to use our we pons. nce in the m rket sIu re we weregreete' $y n e&er growing crow' th t h ' n e&i'ent thre tening 'isposition tow r' us. 0hen thecrow' notice' the 6ron Cross th t sti%% hung roun' our comm n'er?s neck in spite of the F:hrer?s 'e th

    n' of course with the sw stik on it. As the crow' m 'e note of this 'ecor tion n' the other me' %she wore on his uniform the f n tic crow' w nte' to 'r g him from his c r n' h ng him in the sIu re.

    0hings $eg n h ppening now with $%in'ing spee'. A rope su''en%y ppe re' h nging 'own from the $ %cony of house on the sIu re n' the cheering crow' w nte' to see 8 2i hung. 0hen %% of theother ?F scists5? th t me ns us5 were to $e ki%%e'. 0o my horror 6 once g in experience' the fury of thewomen. 0hese women were $eh &ing %ike the ones 6 h ' encountere' in %'en$urg in 4;B . 0hesewomen r nte' in the most 'isgusting n' o$sessi&e w y 'em n'ing to see the *erm ns h ng.

    We so%'iers were stunne' $y the fren2ie' riot th t we were he%p%ess to stop. We cou%'n?t 'o nything $ut w it our f te n' our cert in 'e th. ur chief w s pu%%e' from his c r n' force' to the rope th thung 'own from the $ %cony so th t they cou%' put it o&er his he ' n' h ng him from the $ %cony.

    Su''en%y5 shots r ng out o&er the sIu re. 6t w s m chinegun fire going o&er the he 's of the mo$ in the sIu retow r' the house with the $ %cony. We *erm n so%'ierswere rescue' $y n rmore' Americ n p tro% who h ppene'upon this sh mefu% show. 0hey put n en' to the gruesomescene. 0he C2echs 'i' not t ke it &ery we%% n' spirite'

    rgument ensue'. 0he C2echs fe%t s though the Americ nswere stopping them from en9oying the spoi%s of w r whichinc%u'e' %ynching *erm ns. 0he Americ ns p i' no

    ttention to them n' 'ec% re' us to $e their prisoners ofw r. 0he C2echs m 'e fin % p%e to t %e st $e %%owe' toki%% the f scist 6ron Cross we rer.

    6n the en' the C2ech mo$ h ' to st n' $y n' w tch s the*6?s forme' up new co%umn with their 9eep t the he '5our &ehic%es $ehin' n' the Americ n rmore' c r $ringingup the re r with its m chine guns tr ine' on the C2echcrow'. We continue' on our w y5 this time with n Americ n escort. 0hey took us to 0 $or wherethey h ' huge prisoner c mp. 0here were %re 'y % rge num$er of *erm n prisoners in the c mp.

    6n front of the c mp we h ' to ren'er to them %% of our we pons which our escorts h ' %et us ho%' onto up to this point. 0his w s simp%y security me sure n' not 'one out of ny re % fe r forthemse%&es. 0his ren'ering of rms w s re %%y tr shing of rms n' e&erything w s tosse' onto huge pi%e of 'isc r'e' we pons. 6 tosse' my c r$ine on the he p with gre t enthusi sm. +owe&er5 6w nte' to ho%' on to my h n'gun. 6t w s stupi' thing to 'o5 $ut no one notice'. 6 h ' the fee%ing th tit might $e usefu% to me5 e&en if on%y to use it to ki%% myse%fJ E&erything w s so uncert in5 h &ing the

    American ! Armored Car

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    gun g &e me %itt%e fee%ing of contro% n' security e&en if it w s on%y some contro% o&er my ownsuici'e. 6 w s on%y 'oing wh t the officers were %%owe' to 'o. Accor'ing to the + gue Con&entionshonor $%e officers cou%' $e %%owe' to keep their pisto%s. 0h t w s the c se in the first ' ys of thec pitu% tion mong the Americ ns5 $ut they Iuick%y ch nge' the ru%es n' 'is rme' the *erm nofficers.

    0hey %et us keep our &ehic%es which w s $ig surprise to us. 0o h &e &ehic%e whi%e $eing prisonerw s &ery r re. Somehow5 e&erything in this c mp g &e us &ery unsett%ing fee%ing without us $eing$%e to i'entify the c use. n our st ff we h ' the incre'i$%e goo' fortune to h &e n $er%eutn nt

    who h ' %i&e' in Americ for se&er % ye rs n' spoke the % ngu ge perfect%y. +ow gre t goo' %uckthis w s for us you wi%% see &ery soon.

    After conferring with our comm n'er5 our $er%eutn nt sought to mix in with the Americ ns5 ch t withthem n' see wh t he cou%' o&erhe r. 0he t %k $etween the Americ ns 'i' not ring &ery we%% in oure rs. +e %e rne' th t this w s 9ust recei&ing c mp th t wou%' $e turne' o&er to the >ussi ns in fewhours. From their +L in 3i%sen the or'ers h ' come 'own st ting th t %% *erm n troops who h 'fought g inst the >ussi ns were to $e turne' o&er to them n' not $e he%' in Americ n custo'y. 0hisw s in ccor' with the greement re che' $y the high comm n' of the two p rties in C2echos%o& ki .6t w s &ery $ ' news we were he ring from our comm n'er now. 6t w s n unexpecte' shock to us to%e rn th t we were going to f %% into the h n's of the >ussi ns fter %%. Wh t cou%' we 'o

    ur comm n'er h ' price on his he ' set $y the >ussi ns n' he 'i' %ike wh t he w s he ring fromthe $er%eutn nt. 0he comm n'er c %%e' us together n' to%' us to stick c%ose to our &ehic%es5 perh pswe might sti%% m ke use of them. We nee'e' to st y together n' not 'is$ n'5 no m tter wh th ppene'.

    When we rri&e' in the c mp the comm n'er worke' it so th t our &ehic%es5 pure%y $y ch nce(J)5rem ine' c%ose to the entr nce of the c mp. 0he Americ ns 'i'n?t %ike th t $ut with the he%p of ourAmeric n7spe king $er%eutn nt we worke' it out. So we c mpe' out ne r the entr nce of the c mp in

    str tegic position 9ust in c se we might $e $%e to profit from the %oc tion. E&en if it en'e' up costingus our %i&es. We were 'etermine' not to simp%y %et the Americ ns turn us o&er to the >ussi ns without

    putting up some kin' of fight. +ow we cou%' m n ge th t5 we h ' no i'e 5 nor 'i' the hun're's ofother *erm n so%'iers ssem$%e' in the c mp. 6t seeme' hope%ess except th t our positioning ne r theentr nce might gi&e us some sort of n e'ge.

    0hen su''en%y situ tion rose where our positioning $enefite' us n' w s the'ecisi&e f ctor. 0here w s some Iuick mo&ement in the c mp s motorc 'e ofthree *erm n c rs 'ro&e up to the entr nce of the c mp he 'ing out. 0hey

    p use' ne r where we were. 0h t g &e our comm n'er enough time to recogni2e?his? gener %5 *ener % 8ehring. 0hey greete' e ch other n' he Iuick%y %e rne'th t the Americ ns were mo&ing the *ener % out to the GS he 'Iu rters in 3i%sen.0he resu%t of this Iuick exch nge $etween the two frien's h ' the resu%t th t our>egiment % St ff w s su''en%y tr nsforme' into the *ener %?s person % st ff. +em 'e it c%e r to the Americ ns th t these were his peop%e th t h ' to come to3i%sen with him. +e spoke with the &oice of comm n' n' our $er%eutn nt

    cte' s interpreter. 0he *ener % worke' it so th t the Americ ns h ' to %et this $igger con&oy p ss.0ogether with him we %eft the c mp tr &e%ing in our &ehic%es s n ?escort 'et i%? tow r' 3i%sen...or sowe thought.

    General "alther #ehring

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    We %e rne' % ter th t the 0 $or c mp w s in'ee' h n'e' o&er to the >ussi ns 9ust short time fter our'ep rture %ong with %% prisoners n' &ehic%es. 6t w s &ery c%ose c %% for us. We %so he r' th t thetr nsfer of the c mp 'i' not go smooth%y. 0here were c su %ties5 $oth 'e ' n' woun'e'5 $ec usem ny of the *erm n so%'iers wou%' not %%ow themse%&es to $e so e si%y h n'e' o&er to the >ussi ns.

    We h ' the gre t goo' %uck $y pure ch nce to &oi' this f te5 9ust $ec use two rmy $u''ies h ppene'

    to meet e ch other n' sei2e' the opportunity to 9oin us up with *ener % 8ehring?s st ff s they %eft thec mp. 0he new con&oy5 with the *ener % t the he '5 r ce' tow r' 3i%sen where the Americ ns w ite'for him s we%% s cert in other high7%e&e% *erm ns officers th t were of interest to them. 0his w s incontr st to the stinky %itt%e common so%'iers who the Americ ns cou%' c re %ess $out n' who were%eft to their f te.

    *ener % 8ehring seeme' to know why h ste w s so import nt5 $ut we were h &ing h r' time keepingup with him. ur trucks were not up to it. ur comm n'er re %i2e' this n' 'ecent%y e%ecte' to st ywith his men s the *ener % spe' on he '. For us the import nt thing w s th t we were $%e to get outof 0 $or. We no %onger nee'e' the *ener %?s he%p5 $ut we were &ery th nkfu% to him for wh t he h ''one for us.

    nce g in we were on our own5 setting out new on our 'ri&e to 3i%sen on the ssumption th t rri&ingthere wou%' keep us from f %%ing into the h n's of the >ussi ns. 6f we met up with C2ech free'omfighters we knew th t we wou%' h &e no we pons except for the officer?s si'e rms n' my i%%eg %

    uger. We cou%' on%y hope th t things wou%' go right for us. +owe&er5 we 'i' not get &ery f r. Wec me on n Americ n p tro% which stoppe' us from continuing our run for 3i%sen. 6t w s goo' th t ourAmeric n7spe king $er%eutn nt w s sti%% with us. +e to%' the Americ ns $out our c%ose c %% in 0 $or

    n' ske' them to %et us continue on to c tch up with *ener % 8ehring. 0he Americ ns wou%'n?t go forit5 perh ps $ec use $y now night h ' f %%en.

    0hey took o&er comm n' of our unit n' once g in we were tr &e%ing un'er the protection of nAmeric n escort. We 'i' not p rticu% r%y %ike where they took us. 6t w s nother recei&ing c mp. ur

    $er%eutn nt w s ssure' th t we were tru%y in the Americ n sector now. We c me into n re c %%e'+or 2'o&ice5 where5 on the e'ge of town5 3 W c mp h ' $een set up. 0here were %re 'y % rgenum$er of *erm n so%'iers there. 0he so%'iers here were for the most p rt not com$ t troops. 0heywere officers n' en%iste' men who worke' t & rious he 'Iu rters who were co%%ecte' $y theAmeric ns 'uring their '& nce on 3i%sen. 0hey were 'eposite' on % rge me 'ow here s 3 W?s.We were %so 'e%i&ere' there n' h n'e' o&er to the he 's of the c mp. 8ight h ' f %%en n' they 'i'not se rch us g in5 which w s %ucky for me since 6 w s sti%% c rrying the uger. We were simp%y'umpe' somewhere on the open fie%'. 8ow we were the Americ n?s 3. .W.?s without e&er h &ingfought g inst them. ut since we were in C2echos%o& ki n' the Americ ns were t our $ ck n'

    %most cert in%y wou%' h &e come into conf%ict with us if the c pitu% tion h ' not occurre' we were ofthe opinion th t we h ' 'one the right thing $y f%eeing into the h n's of the Americ ns. 0hey were onthe si'e of the A%%ies5 9ust %ike the >ussi ns wereJ

    +owe&er5 the >ussi ns 'i' not sh re this opinion. 0hey w nte' %% *erm n so%'iers who h ' foughtg inst them5 now th t they h ' c pitu% te'5 to go into >ussi n custo'y s their prisoners of w r.

    We knew &ery %itt%e $out the conf%icts $etween the Americ ns n' the >ussi ns5 $ut we wou%' soonsee e&i'ence of their 'is greements. 0his strife wou%' en' up h &ing serious resu%ts for m ny *erm nso%'iers.

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    At this moment5 howe&er5 we were h ppy th t5 th nks to the initi ti&e of our comm n'er5 we h 'm n ge' to m ke it to the Americ n %ines were we fe%t secure. An'5 of course5 we were %so h ppy th tthe w r w s fin %%y t n en'. We thought e&erything w s 'eci'e' n' we 'i' not gi&e thought to ny'is greements $etween the Americ ns n' the >ussi ns. 0hey h ' chie&e' their common go %5 the'estruction of F scism5 the *erm n >eich n' the *erm n rmy. 0here were no %onger ny pro$%emsto 'e % with. 6t wou%' on%y $e m tter of time $efore they %et us %% go. We were of no use to them s

    prisoners5 there w s no more ' nger of us w ging w r $ec use we were no %onger so%'iers. E&en more5s prisoners we were $ur'en to them n' in e&ery respect &ery expensi&e $ur'en th t h ' no & %ueto them.

    We were thinking in &ery pr gm tic terms n' perh ps in retrospect %itt%e too pie7in7the7sky 3erh psin truth we were &ery n N&e n' not &ery re %istic. Wh t 'i' we know $out wh t w s going on in thehe 's of the A%%ies 6t cou%' %so h &e $een the c se th t they s w the ex7so%'iers s source of che p% $or for the A%%ies5 sort of s% &e % $or to $ui%' the ?8ew Age5? n' this wou%' $e our pen nce for

    %%owing ourse%&es to $e %e' $y >eich?s %e 'ers. 8e&erthe%ess5 the w r w s o&er5 we h ' sur&i&e' n'now we were s fe. 0here wou%' $e no more shooting n' 'e th5 th t w s the m in thing5 e&erythinge%se w s secon' ry. Oust s in %% the ye rs $efore we fe%t the typic % so%'ier?s f t %ism coup%e' with thee&i'ent hope for sur&i& % n' $etter times.

    HORAZDOVICE: I Become a P.O.W. of e Ame"#ca$%

    We were with the Americ ns5 the >ussi ns were gone n' we $e%ie&e' th t we wou%' soon $e t ken $ ck cross the *erm n $or'er5 which for us w s not &ery f r w y. 6t wou%' $e so e sy to mo&e usthere or so we thought in our innocent n i&ete. 0he next morning we ?newcomers? were $%e to see th tthis c mp s t on n empty fie%' without ny possi$i%ity for she%ter or housing. 0here w s nothing $utthe n ke' e rth of the empty me 'ow.

    After t king nother c%ose %ook we %so re %i2e' th t we were in the comp ny of % rge num$er of*erm n officers. A%% r nks were represente'5 e&en st ff officers of e&ery sort %% the w y up to*ener %s. 0here were %so gre t m ny mi%it ry 'ministr tors5 m n gers n' %% %e&e%s ofIu rterm ster ssem$%e' here. 0he noisy ?e%ite? of the >e r Eche%on. 0hese m sters of the re r w nte'to ret in the tone of comm n' here 9ust s if they sti%% he%' the reins of power in their h n's.

    0here w s resist nce $y m ny of the common so%'iers5 n' 6 w s one of them. 6 w s of the opinionth t we h ' h ' Iuite enough of 3russi n g%ory n' gr n'eur fo%%owing the tot % co%% pse of the st te5

    rmy n' p rty. From this point 6 fe%t myse%f to $e 'ecommissione' $ergefreiter D3ri& te FirstC% ss n' to 'emonstr te the point 6 'i' something th t w s %ooke' upon s $eing unseem%y n'c use' me to $e shunne' $y the rest of the guys in my outfit. 6 'emi%it ri2e' myse%f. 6 rippe' off %%insigni n' m rks of r nk from my uniform inc%u'ing the winge' e g%e p tch with the sw stik n'my pri& te?s stripes. 6 simp%y threw it %% w y into the muck5 inc%u'ing the winge' e g%e.

    0his w s %ooke' upon gr &e%y $y my former comr 'es n' their $eh &ior tow r' me ch nge'imme'i te%y. 6 w s su''en%y seen s h &ing soi%e' our honor n' $etr ye' our f ther% n'. 6 w s'is' ine' $y e&eryone 'ue to this ct. 0hey cut me off5 %etting me know th t 6 w s sti%% p rt of theWehrm cht n' wou%' rem in so in spite of the c pitu% tion. An' me5 poor foo%5 6 thought th t it w s

    %% o&er. We h ' $een re%e se' from our so%'ier?s o th which to my min' me nt th t we were prettymuch out of the rmy. 0h t w sn?t to $e the c se n' e&en Fon'erm nn w s not in greement with my

    ctions. 0he resu%t of which is th t 6 no %onger existe' for him. Forget %% th t we h ' $een through

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    together5 from this moment 6 w s %ooke' upon s $eing suspect n' $est &oi'e'. 3erh ps 6 w s e&en Communist s one fe%%ow s i' to me right to my f ce. My comments th t Fon'erm nn h ' re%e se' usfrom our o th n' %so from ser&ice in non7existent Wehrm cht were ignore'. 6 w s tr itor. 8o oneknew me nymore. 6 w s $% gg r' n' 6 w s force' to fin' p% ce for myse%f outsi'e the circ%e ofmy comr 'es n' h ' to go off n' fin' nother p% ce to % y 'own on the open fie%' of the me 'ow.

    0his w s my Iuitt nce for my tot %%y un7mi%it ry ctions n' unseem%y $eh &ior of in'epen'ent%y%e &ing the rmy. 6 w s now suspect5 shunne' n' h ' to $e content when the or'er%y c%erk5 on or'ersfrom the chief5 m 'e note of my expu%sion in my p y $ook. 0h t w s $efore the Americ ns co%%ecte'them %%. 0h t turne' out to $e go'sen' for me.

    After few ' ys in the c mp it re %%y c me home to me how tru%y impossi$%e my $eh &ior ppe re'to my fe%%ow so%'iers. 0he officers5 especi %%y the st ff officers5 w nte' to reest $%ish $y7the7$ookmi%it ry or'er n' 'iscip%ine. 0he en%iste' men were to 'emonstr te respect for their superiors. 0heofficers comp% ine' th t the men were too c su % n' insiste' th t the men shou%' greet officers with sm rt mi%it ry s %ute. 6t w s not c%e r which mi%it ry s %ute they w nte' execute'5 the o%'7sty%e s %uteor the one we were or'ere' to use fter the Ou%y !"5 4;

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    mi%it ry wor%' of our officers c me cr shing 'own.

    6n my h ste to remo&e my r nk n' mi%it ry m rking it turne' out th t me5 the 3ri& te First C% ss5 h 'h n'%e' myse%f in the proper f shion. 6t m 'e no 'ifference. My former comr 'es m 'e it c%e r th tmy presence in their circ%e wou%' not $e to%er te'. 6 h ' to go off n' fin' nother p% ce to f%op5

    prefer $%y s f r w y from them s possi$%e. 0hus $eg n my &ery so%it ry %ife in c mp which wou%'

    $e re %%y5 re %%y cr ppy.When 6 got m y p y $ook $ ck 6 foun' 6 h ' to %isten to %ot of unp%e s nt rem rks 'ue to the notethere th t s i'5 8o 'istinctions. 6t w s s i' th t is w s no won'er th t s%ouch %ike me wou%' $eh &eso $ '%y. 6t w s e&i'ence th t 6 w s ne&er n upst n'ing so%'ier or e&en goo' *erm n.

    0he f ct th t 6 h ' free%y &o%unteere' for ser&ice no %onger counte'. My % test tr nsgression w s $etr y % th t h ' to $e expurg te'J With this 6 w s 'ismisse' $y e&eryone on the st ff5 inc%u'ing thechief whom 6 re %%y %ike' n' respecte'. ut he w s5 $o&e %% e%se5 So%'ier5 e&en if he no %onger h '

    F:hrer to fo%%ow. +e w s the typic % c reer so%'ier who might fin' nother ?F:hrer? to fo%%ow if herecei&e' the c %%.

    6 %eft the circ%e of my ex7comr 'es n' tru'ge' offto f r corner of the c mp. 0here5 with the he%p of

    nother pri& te5 6 'ug ho%e in the groun'. 0histime it w s not 'efensi&e foxho%e5 it w s thehomespun she%ter of prisoner of w r who w sw iting to go home g in e&en if there w s no%onger home to go to. +o%es were now the'omici%es of %% the 3 W?s in +or 2'o&ice5 e&enthe high r nking officers h ' to $e content with ho%e in the groun' th t they h ' to 'ig forthemse%&es5 most5 for the first time in their mi%it ryc reers. We %% c mpe' out on the open fie%'5some on the $ re groun'5 in %% we ther. 0herew s no she%ter from win' n' r in5 nor from the

    $% 2ing sun which w s %most un$e r $%e t thistime of ye r. ur &ehic%es were gone now n'

    $eyon' our re ch.

    0he c mp w s gu r'e' $y mi%it ry po%ice unit n' the comm n'er of th t unit w s %so the c mpcomm n' nt. 0he c mp w s encirc%e' $y stur'y fence n' we%% gu r'e' $y M3?s who kept the

    $ rre%s of their guns pointe' tow r' the interior of the c mp.

    After 6 h ' in my own w y 'emi%it ri2e' myse%f5 6 thought $ ck on my youthfu% exu$er nce when 6rushe' out to en%ist5 n' the wi'e gu%f th t sep r te' me from the person 6 use' to $e. 6 w s e&en morecon&ince' now th t the horror of this w r wou%' $e %esson for %% the wor%' g inst %%owing w r %ustto e&er t ke ho%' g in. 6 Iuick%y %e rne'5 howe&er5 th t this w s not the c se for %% of my o%'comr 'es. 6n &ery short time &ery ug%y moo' $eg n to $ui%' th t w s 'ri&en $y n intense h tre'for the C2echs.

    0he re son for this is th t we were $eginning to he r stories $out the trocities the C2echs were perpetr ting on the *erm ns in 3r gue s resu%t of the uprising. We he r' the stories from so%'iers

    A )O" & eado' Camp& or "iesenlager in German*+Conditions 'ere similar in orazdovice

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    n' *erm n ci&i%i ns who esc pe' from 3r gue5 were e&entu %%y c ught $y the Americ ns n''eposite' in our c mp. 0hey to%' us of the $e st%y horrors &isite' upon the *erm ns in 3r gue5especi %%y the women. 0hey to%' us $out the m ny 'e ' who were simp%y mur'ere' $y the C2echs5

    9ust s they h ' w nte' to %ynch us. 0hose stories were 9ust one of the things th t got e&eryone stirre'up5 the other w s the rme' C2echs who c mpe' out 9ust $eyon' the cor'on of the Americ n M3?s

    $eyon' the prison fence. 0hey %urke' there w iting for ny *erm n prisoner who trie' to esc pe or for

    ny *erm n str gg%er who h ppene' to come too c%ose to the c mp. 0hese free'om fighters wou%' ki%%them5 then 'ump their $o'ies t the entr nce of the c mp5 unti% the Americ ns took steps to pre&entth t. Most%y out of their own shock t the sight.

    Emotions h ' come to &ery exp%osi&e %e&e% n' open opinions were expresse' th t these $rut %mur'ers h ' to $e &enge'5 perh ps with the he%p of the Western A%%ies. >umors $oun'e' th t theEng%ish n' the Americ ns were turning g inst the >ussi ns n' new w r cou%' $re kout with the*erm n so%'iers fighting on their si'e. Cert in%y the C2echs wou%' not get off scot7free. 0he m 9orityof recent%y 'is rme' n'ser D n'ser, common so%'ier5 en%iste' m n were re 'y to &o%unteer n't ke up rms g in g inst the >ussi ns5 $ut %so to m ke the ' mne' C2echs p y in $%oo' for wh tthey h ' 'one n' were 'oing to the *erm ns.

    0he wor' mong the so7c %%e' ?% trine gr pe&ine? w s th t the Americ ns were %re 'y recruiting*erm n so%'iers into new com$ t units to go g inst the >ussi ns in the ine&it $%e w r to come. 0hisw s not 9ust $e%ie&e'5 $ut em$r ce' with enthusi sm n' no sm %% num$er of ex7*erm n so%'iers werere 'y gr $ their guns n' with the he%p of the Americ ns c rry on the fight g inst o%she&ism n'fin %%y put n en' to the thre t $y these su$7hum ns th nks to the inexh usti$%e Iu ntities of Americ nm terie%5 guns n' mmunition. 0he *erm n E stern pro&inces wou%' once g in $e free n' the w ywou%' $e open g in for *erm ny to conIuer the 3o%ish n' S% &ic % n's th t it nee'e' so 'esper te%y.0he pu%% of conIuest in the E st returne' to m ny of those who 9ust short time go were fe' up withe&erything. With the m ssi&e power of the GSA $ehin' them they cou%' $ring ?their? c mp ign g instthe >ussi ns to 'ecisi&e conc%usion.

    More n' more peop%e c me to the conc%usion th t the Americ ns wou%' turn on the >ussi ns n'ch se them out of centr % Europe. 0hey h ' come too f r West n' were now seen s thre t $y theWestJ >umors were rife th t the GS *ener % 3 tton in his he 'Iu rters in 3i%sen w s %re 'y $usy5with the he%p of *erm n officers5 in p% nning the c mp ign g inst the >ussi ns. When 6 he r' thisrumor 6 thought $ ck to *ener % 8ehring who h ' $een or'ere' $y the Americ ns to come to 3i%senwith %% 'ue h ste. 3erh ps there w s something su$st nti % in the % trine7ch tter 6 cou%'n?t gr sp thewho%e i'e 5 especi %%y the ch nge' 'isposition of m ny of the *erm ns5 n' $o&e %% th t the A%%ieswou%' su''en%y h &e such m 9or f %%ing7out. 8e&erthe%ess5 the rumor mi%% kept grin'ing out more

    n' more 'et i%s. 6t w s &ery h r' to 'istinguish $etween the f cts n' the wishfu% thinking. We he r'more n' more $out the friction mong the A%%ies n' e&en n un'ertone from them th t m y$e +it%erw sn?t entire%y wrong in his opinions $out o%she&ism. 0he West w s w kening to his w rnings

    $out the ' nger5 if 9ust %itt%e too % te. 0here w s %so comment circu% ting ttri$ute' to Churchi%%s ying5 We ki%%e' the wrong pigJ 6t w s %so Churchi%% who refuse' to or'er the 'is rm ment of the*erm n units in Sch%eswig7+o%stein5 %e &ing them fu%%y int ct5 in spite of the m ny protests of the>ussi ns.

    6n the c mp there were spirite' 'iscussions $out how fter St %ingr '5 +it%er shou%' h &e negoti te' ce se7fire with the Western A%%ies so th t they cou%' ''ress the ' nger from the >e's. With the*erm n $u%w rk g inst o%she&ism5 the So&iets wou%' h &e $een ch se' $ ck o&er the Gr %s. At the&ery %e st5 fter the 8orm n'y in& sion5 +it%er shou%' h &e un'erstoo' the conseIuences n' cut 'e %

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    with the West so th t *erm ny cou%' h &e thrown its fu%% power into the conf%ict in the E st. 0hen wecou%' h &e $e t the >ussi ns without foreign he%p. 0hen the >ussi ns wou%' h &e ne&er $re che' the*erm n frontier.

    E&erything th t we h ' $een through5 things th t e ch m n experience'5 seeme' to $e forgotten n'they w nte' to %e p $ ck into the fr y n' once g in h &e ch nce to $e mong the winners with

    &ictory o&er the >ussi ns n' &ictory o&er o%she&ism. A%% this 9ust few ' ys fter $eing force'into n uncon'ition % surren'er on %% fronts of this unho%y w r. 6t took me whi%e to un'erst n' th tthis w sn?t 9ust the wrong7he 'e' opinion of tiny minority. 6t w s in the min's of m ny5 especi %%ythe officers5 who s i' Iuite open%y th t it w s going to $e on g in &ery soon5 this time with us n' theAmeric ns together g inst >ussi . Wh t we5 the *erm ns5 h ' 'one to them5 w s successfu%%y pushe'

    si'e in f &or of this new crus 'e. 0he horror n' misery th t we h ' 9ust %i&e' through h r'%y existe'nymore. 0he new strugg%e cou%' now $egin5 this time in concert with the Americ ns5 who nee'e' us

    $ec use we were the speci %ists in com$ t g inst the Communists. We were the experience'5 $ tt%e7h r'ene' fighters of the E stern FrontJ 0he Americ ns wou%' $e tot %%y 'epen'ent upon usJ 6 h &e no'ou$t th t the gre t m 9ority of 3 W?s wou%' h &e free%y &o%unteere'5 if one ' y in the c mp the c %%h ' gone out to 9oin7up.

    0he men who were c% moring for this were not Super78 2is5 not men of the W ffen7SS5 they werenorm %5 e&ery' y so%'ers of the 'efe te' Wehrm cht whether officers or en%iste' men who 9ust few' ys $efore w nte' nothing more th n to get out of the shit n' go home. 6 tru%y cou%' not un'erst n'the wor%' nymore.

    0he $eh &ior of our Americ ns in our c mp w s such th t we h ' h r' time figuring out wh tthey w nte'. 8ow they w nte' to i'entify the *erm n outfits in the c mp. 0here wou%' $e ro%% c %%s

    n' in&estig tions to try n' fin' out if ny of the prisoners were p rt of the W ffen7SS or if they $e%onge' to the Wehrm cht?s r n'en$urg 1i&ision. 0he >ussi ns were p rticu% r%y intereste' in thesespy n' s $ot ge 'i&isions. 8e r%y e&ery ' y the >ussi ns c me into the c mp with the Americ ns%ooking for these w r crimin %s. ften they were successfu% n' m ny men were t ken to the othersi'e.

    1uring the se rch for SS mem$erse&eryone in the c mp h ' to t keoff his shirt n' r ise his rms inthe ir. 0his w y they cou%' see ifthe m n h ' his $%oo' typet ttooe' un'er his rmpit. 0hisw s ch r cteristic of SSmem$er. 6n the SS it w s usu %for the so%'ier?s $%oo' type to $et ttooe' there n' it cou%' not $eremo&e'. 8ow it w s $eing use'to ferret out the SS. 0he m rk h '

    $ecome stigm . 8ow 6un'erstoo' wh t goo' %uck 6 h '

    to $e turne' w y when 6 first rushe' out to en%ist in the SS in 4;B;. A$o&e %% 6 w s th nkfu% th t 6'i'n?t get the t ttoo5 which cou%' h &e h ppene' e&en $efore $eing fin %%y ccepte' into theorg ni2 tion.

    oung Captured SS- an Sho's .lood /*pe 0O1 /attoo

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    My p rtner in this fi%thy me 'ow w s somewh t o%'er m n5 f rmer $y tr 'e5 who c me from town c %%e' S n'ste't n 'er Weser5 n' therefor fe%%ow countrym n. DMork is from Veges ck5 %soon the Weser ri&er. We got %ong &ery we%% n' fter whi%e this pri& te first c% ss to%' me story 6cou%' h r'%y $e%ie&e. 6t w s the first time th t 6 he r'

    $out the extermin tion of other peop%e5 of OewsJ

    6n 4;

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    w s so pu22%ing to me t the time. r5 it w s %so possi$%e th t he w s t home when 6 knocke' n' 'i'not w nt to see me g in $ec use of wh t he h ' confesse' to me in the c mp.

    6n my-our ho%e in the groun' we %i&e' somewh t ' ngerous%y $ec use 6 sti%% h ' my uger. 6 $urie' itin the ho%e n' cou%' on%y hope th t the Americ ns wou%'n?t t ke notion to se rch our ho%e in thegroun' n' perh ps 'isco&er the h n'gun. 6 sti%% 'i' not w nt to p rt with the pisto% $ec use 6 thought

    it might pro&e ?usefu%? if we h ' to esc pe from the c mp. 0his stupi' i'e kept coming $ ck to me $ec use of the uncert inty of wh t w s going to h ppen with the c mp n' with us. 0here were sti%%murmurings th t the c mp wou%' soon $e h n'e' o&er to the >ussi ns n' th t the true 'em rc tion%ine w s sti%% $eing rgue' $y the A%%ies5 $ut the %ike%ihoo' w s th t this re wou%' f %% un'er the>ussi n sector. 0here w s nother rumor th t the C2echs wou%' $e t king o&er the gu r' 'uties. 0h tseeme' un%ike%y $ut nothing seeme' impossi$%e in these times. Either one of these scen rios wou%' $e

    $ ' for us5 so the thought of esc pe w s %w ys in our min's5 in spite of the C2ech free'om fighters%urking $eyon' the cor'on of GS troops. 0he *erm n $or'er w s not &ery f r from us n' t night m n 9ust might $e $%e to m ke it. 0h t is why 6 w nte' to ho%' on to the uger5 it g &e me comforting fee%ing of security. 6 kept it e&en though it w s re %%y ' nger to my %ife if 6 h ' $eenc ught with it. 0he gun rem ine' $urie' in the ho%e in c se 6 nee'e' to use it for 'efense or suici'e. 6tne&er got use' n' perh ps ye rs % ter some C2ech f rmer m y h &e p%owe' it up n' kept it s sou&enir of the w r.

    ur ?house? in the e rth s%ow%y $ec me pig sty. 0he sun w sn gony for us $ec use we h ' no protection from it.

    Another gony w s the nights s%eeping on the $ re groun'once g in $ec use we h ' nothing to put 'own un'er us. 6tw s p rticu% r%y $ ' 'uring r in storms. 0he w ter wou%'f%ow in stre ms n' pour into our ho%e. 0he s nit ry situ tionin the c mp w s c t strophe. 6t w s won'er th tepi'emics 'i'n?t $re k out5 though gre t m ny of us gotsick. 0hose who 'i' get sick got &ery %itt%e he%p except from*erm n 'octors n' me'ics who h ppene' to $e p rt of thec mp popu% tion. 0he Americ ns were not prep re' forsupp%ying me'ic % c re n' there w s &ery %itt%e in the w y ofme'icine n' me'ic % supp%ies. 0he on%y goo' thing w s the

    perio'ic 'e%ousing. 0he nti7%ouse7pow'er wou%' $e spr ye'into our c%othes from $ig hose. 6t ki%%e' them $ut we sti%%h ' to w %k roun' with our p nts n' shirts fu%% of 'e ' %ice.0he 'e%ousing w s goo' $ec use %% of the n'ser who c meinto the c mp from the front %ines were tot %%y infeste' with%ice. For weeks there w s no c%e n c%othes or w shing. 6tw s no won'er th t we were co&ere' with %ice. ur he 'swere fu%% of these pests n' our c%othes were the nests n'

    $ree'ing groun's for them n' we h ' no 'efenses. 6t w s misery n' we were t %e st th nkfu% tothe Americ ns th t their nti7%ouse7pow'er free' us from these n sty cre tures5 e&en though they 'i' itmore out of their own interests th n ours. We %e rne' the & %ue of 110. A$o&e %% it re'uce' the' nger of p% gue $re king out.

    ec use of the % ck of s nit tion n' me'ic % c re 6 won'ere' then n' e&en now th t my he %th he%'up n' p rticu% r%y th t 6 'i' not suffer nother m % ri tt ck. 6t wou%' not h &e $een tre te' in thec mp n' 6 know it wou%' h &e ki%%e' me. 6 w s sp re' e&erything...$ut hunger.

    /he (elousing )rocedure

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    Foo' w s huge pro$%em most%y $ec use the Americ n unit gu r'ing us w s com$ t unit n' w ssimp%y not set up to pro&i'e me %s to such huge num$er of prisoners. 0he popu% tion in our c mpw s %w ys growing n' w s f r $eyon' the inten'e' c p city. 0he Americ n supp%y %ogistics wereo&erwhe%me'. We suffere' frightfu%%y from hunger n' thirst n' the situ tion m 'e me think $ ck to

    umho%'er DMork h ' witnesse' the suffering of >ussi n 3 W?s in c mp in umho%'er in 4;ussi ns. Chi%'ren so%'iers %ike 6 h 'seen s% ughtere' in Stein u n 'er 'er. 0here were m ny 4! to 4

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    'ug through the fi%th5 tr sh n' stink %ooking for foo' scr ps th t 6 stuffe' into my tin c ns. 6 soon gotout of the pit first5 $ec use 6 cou%'n?t st n' the sme%% ny %onger n' secon'5 $ec use 6 he ' Americ n&oices coming c%oser. S%ow%y n' Iuiet%y 6 cr w%e' $ ck to the ho%e in the groun' 6 c %%e' ?home.? My

    p% n h ' worke' perfect%y5 we were not 'etecte' $y the gu r's. We now h ' three tin c ns fu%% of price%ess g r$ ge n' we were re 'y for fe stJ

    We m 'e sm %% fire n' he te' the c ns with the scr ps th t h ' some f t tt che'. 6n this w y wem 'e sort of F t 3ot th t e&en h ' %itt%e me t in it. A%% th t w s % cking were some si'e 'ishes tom ke tru%y t sty fe st. We took c re of th t when the sun c me up. We picke' ' n'e%ion %e &es tom ke %o&e%y ' n'e%ion7spin ch s % '. 0hen5 we 'i'n?t simp%y e t it5 we go$$%e' it 'own. 8either ofus g &e much thought to wh t might resu%t from this g%uttony5 especi %%y from the he &y f t th t wewere not use' to. We contr cte' horri$%e 'i rrhe n' ne r%y shit ourse%&es to 'e th. Wh t we h ' sothought%ess%y go$$%e' 'own5 the un ccustome' f t n' fi%th from the refuse pit % ce' with ch%orinefrom the pre&ious ' y cou%' h &e ki%%e' us. +owe&er5 we sur&i&e' the torture n' continue' to e t ourg r$ ge for se&er % ' ys5 $ut in much sm %%er portions. From th t we foun' out th t ' n'e%ions weregoo' e ting5 n' not 9ust for r $$its.

    6 now knew wh t it me nt to $e hungry5 wh t it me nt to go without foo' n' 6 knew wh t men werec p $%e of in their 'ri&e to re%ie&e th t hunger. 8ow5 for the first time5 6 cou%' re %%y un'erst n' wh t 6s w in umho%'er mong the French 3 W?s n' especi %%y mong the >ussi n prisoners. 6 h 'w %%owe' in the muck of refuse pit in this 'isgusting mixture of foo' scr ps5 hum n w ste n'ch%orine without e&en thinking wh t h ppens to g r$ ge when it $ kes in the hot sun. 0he effects ofthis fe st were not goo'5 $ut we sur&i&e' it5 n' perh ps the contents of the pit e&en s &e' our %i&es. Atthe &ery %e st it en $%e' us to through the coming weeks in $etter ste '.

    ne of the worst things $out the c mps w s the gre t uncert inty we experience' not knowing wh tw s going to h ppen to us next. From the spor 'ic inform tion coming into the c mp we foun' out

    $out the four ccup tion Pones n' th t the est $%ishment of these 2ones w s sure to 'e% y ourre%e se. For us th t me nt more weeks of hunger n' gre ter ch nce of st r& tion.

    As if this were not enough5 now tensions $eg n in the c mp $etween groups of the prisoners. 0heAmeric ns h ' to resort to firing their we pons to keep or'er. A 'eep rift opene' up $etween the*erm ns n' the Austri ns who no %onger w nte' to $e stmQrker D stmQrk, After +it%er nnexe'Austri to *erm ny in 4;B it w s referre' to s stmQrk. n' now cte' s though they h ' %w ys

    $een g inst +it%er5 e&en though they h ' me' %s 'ecor te' with the Sw stik stuffe' in their pockets.0hey w nte' speci % tre tment in the c mp n' speci % re 'esign te' for them. 0hey est $%ishe' unifie' front g inst their comr 'es from yester' y. 0hey h ' c%ose' r nks n' th t %e' to $%oo'yconfront tions where kni&es su''en%y ppe re'. 0his w s unhe r' of mong *erm n so%'iers.

    0his ex mp%e $y the $orn7 g in Austri ns g &e other groups i'e s. Soon the ex7so%'iers fromuxem$urg5 A%s ce n' othringen $eg n h nging out together which pro'uce' more $ ' $%oo'. 8ow

    they were %% the oppresse'5 force' into ser&ice $y the 8 2is g inst their true wi%%. 0his w s nonsenses 6 knew &ery we%% for myse%f fter spe king with men from those re s %% through my hitch in thermy from umho%'er n' % ter in Afric . 8ow5 howe&er5 they insiste' th t is the w y it w s n' they

    s t $ ck n' w ite' for the Americ ns to gi&e them speci % tre tment. 0hey 'i' not get ny speci %tre tment5 $ut the conf%icts with the >eich7*erm ns 'i' not su$si'e. 0here were e&en c ses ofm ns% ughter n' there w s t %k of k ng roo courts. 0he rme' inter&ention $y the Americ ns w sun &oi' $%e.

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    6n this inst nce 6 w s g% ' th t 6 w s not mixe' up in this $usiness n' th t 6 h ' $een shunne' $yne r%y e&eryone n' force' to fin' my own %itt%e p% ce on the e'ge of the c mp.

    ne thing th t sti%% $othere' me w s the $eh &ior of the comm n'er tow r' me5 6 9ust cou%'n?tun'erst n' it. Soon though it $ec me c%e rer to me when 6 notice' how he n' num$er of otherofficers seeme' to form union with &ery notice $%e ir of rrog nce tow r' their fe%%ow prisoners.

    0his c%iIue g ther together regu% r%y for ?pri& te con&ers tions? th t the comm n'er %so took p rt in.Since e&erything took p% ce pu$%ic%y in the open fie%' of the c mp e&ery$o'y cou%' see wh t they were'oing. 0hey were $ecoming officers g in. 0hey e&en 'ifferenti te' $etween cti&e officers n'reser&e7officers. 0hese ?o%' comr 'es? ch nge' into &ery uncongeni % officers7c%iIue th t w nte' togo their own w y in the c mp. 0hey5 too5 seeme' to h &e forgotten the recent p st n' w nte' to g in

    p% y the ro%e of the *erm n73russi n gent%em n.

    0hen things got re %%y $ ' when it $ec me known th t the Americ n comm n' nt of the c mp5 ieuten nt Co%one% in rmore' 'i&ision5 h ' $een n officer in the *erm n rmy up unti% 4;B@hm Aff ir.+e emigr te' to Americ 5 $ec me n officer in the rmy n' fought g inst *erm ny. 0his $ec meknown in the c mp fter the Americ n comm n' nt mentione' it in con&ers tion with *erm nofficer. E&eryone in the c mp showe' their c%e r 'is' in for this m n who they &iewe' s tr itor tohis own n ti&e % n'.

    ur former officers foun' it un$e r $%e to o$ey the or'ers of this scoun're% who h ' f %%en into the $ottom%ess pit of $etr y %. We %itt%e peop%e in the c mp knew $out this $ec use there were those whom 'e point of sewing mistrust g inst this tr itor. 0his weighe' he &y on the entire c mp.

    8e&erthe%ess5 it w s the Americ n comm n' nt who w s the one who took it upon himse%f to impro&ethe con'itions for the young chi%'7so%'ers. +e reser&e' foo' from Americ n stores to supp%ement theirr tions. 6t m y h &e $een this goo' 'ee' th t w s the c use of our officer?s sh $$y $eh &ior5 $ec usethey were expecting speci % tre tment %so from officer to officer5 so to spe k. +owe&er5 this m n 'i'not 'o the officers ny f &ors5 inste ' he c re' for the chi%'ren5 the s me ones who h ' $een somisuse' $y the *erm n officers in their strugg%e for F:hrer5 Fo%k n' F ther% n'. 0he Americ n5 thisex7%ieutn nt in the >eichswehr5 cou%' not un'erst n'5 not gr sp the w &e of nimosity g inst him s 6% ter %e rne' when my neck w s ne r%y in the noose.

    6n the c mp there w s ne r p nic o&er the speci % re th t the Americ ns set up outsi'e our norm %sp ce. 0he entry to it w s opposite the m in entr nce of the c mp. 6t w s set up to house mem$ers ofthe W ffen7SS n' the r n'en$urg 1i&ision n' other such contro&ersi % speci % units of theWehrm cht th t $oth the Americ ns n' the >ussi ns were hunting. 0he >ussi ns wou%' he%pthemse%&es to inm tes of this c mp n' the Americ ns wou%' free%y h n' them o&er5 not w nting toho%' on to them themse%&es.

    8orm % prisoners cou%' %so fin' themse%&es in this speci % c mp if the Americ ns thought them to $etrou$%em kers or if they were in&o%&e' in some ?sh 'y $usiness.? 6 wi%% h &e more to s y $out myin&o%&ement in such things % ter. 0he wor' w s th t the Americ ns were not going to screw roun'with pro$%em c ses n' wou%' simp%y h n' them o&er to the So&iets.

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    6n ''ition to the r &enous hunger5 ne r%y e&eryone in the c mpw s suffering with'r w % symptoms from cig rette smoking. 6nthe first ' ys in c mp our pockets were fu%% of cig rettes fromAustri n 0o$ cco Comp ny in Vienn . 8ow we were out n'there weren?t ny more coming into the c mp. For he &ysmoker5 n' 6 w s one t the time5 to $e so su''en%y out of

    smokes w s un$e r $%e to us. E&en worse w s th t we h ' tosme%% the cig rette smoke coming from the Americ n gu r's n'other *6?s. Most of the gu r's were 8egro5 there were &ery fewwhites mong the en%iste' men.

    6n spite of %% the $o'y se rches we h ' to su$mit to5 we sti%% h 'some person % items th t cou%' $e tr 'e' to the *6?s forcig rettes. 0his $% ck m rket w s strict%y for$i''en $ut cti&e%y pursue' s %ong s we h ' things the*6?s w nte'. Hou $etter not get c ught5 either n'ser Den%iste' m n or *6. For us5 the *erm ns5 itme nt $eing sent to the speci % c mp.

    6 experience' such with'r w % from nicotine th t the sme%% of Americ n cig rette smoke wou%' 'ri&eme cr 2y. 6 h ' the opportunity to come in cont ct with $% ck prison gu r' who5 with the he%p of

    h n' gestures5 showe' n interest in my we''ing ring5 $ut 6 'i'not w nt to p rt with it.

    0hen he m 'e me un'erst n' th t he wou%' %so t ke *erm nmoney5 %though 6 cou%' not figure out wh t *erm n moneywou%' $e goo' for in C2echos%o& ki . 6t soon $ec me c%e rth t in %o&e%y *erm ny he %re 'y h ' *erm n sweethe rtth t he met e r%ier when his unit p use' there for whi%e.0hough it w s sti%% new n' unusu % for me to think ofAmeric n so%'iers h &ing *erm n gir%frien's5 6 w s g% ' tohe%p supp%y him with >eichm rks5 if it wou%' get me somesmokes. 6 sti%% h ' my so%'er?s p y on me n' it h ' not $eent ken from me 'uring the se rches n' 6 g &e the *6 the

    prince%y sum of ="" >M5 for which 6 w ite' goo' supp%y ofcig rettes. 6 on%y got one p ck of Chesterfie%'s n' 6 h ' to $eh ppy with th t. 0here w s no one to comp% in to. +e h ' the

    power to $en' me to his wi%%. 6 %so 'i' not know if the moneywou%' h &e ny & %ue or $e of use to me5 so w y with themoney n' here with the cig rettes.

    With trem$%ing fingers 6 %it the first Chesterfie%' n' 'eep%yinh %e' the he &en%y smoke. Gnfortun te%y5 on n empty stom ch n' fter $eing off cig rettes forweeks the effect on me w s worse th n the &ery first cig rette 6 e&er h ' when 6 w s ki' in

    o$$en'orf. 6 got n useous t first5 $ut soon got p st it. 6 s &ore' e ch f g 'own to the % st em$er.0hen 6 w s out g in5 n' %% my money h ' %iter %%y gone up in smoke. My smoking pro$%emsu''en%y reso%&e' itse%f to my f &or n' 6 no %onger h ' trou$%e getting smokes. More $out th tshort%y.

    >eg r'ing the *65 we %% won'ere' t these strong5 we%%7nourishe' so%'iers n' especi %%y t theire sygoing w ys n' their c su % re% tionships with their officers. At %e st th t w s the impression we

    Cigarette )ack - Austrian /obaccoCompan*

    Chester5ield Cigarettes

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    h ' of the GS Army s we got to know them t this time. 0his w s &ery 'ifferent from the 3russi n7*erm n w ys in our Wehrm cht. We no %onger won'ere' how these $r wny men h ' m n ge' toconIuer us. We thought th t the Americ n mi%it ry ser&ices were tot %%y 'ifferent from ours. We-6 'i'not know t th t time th t %% rmies in the wor%' re oppressi&e n' pretty much the s me.

    y this time it w s the en' of Oune 4;

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    me some time $ ck. 0hey h ' note' th t 6 h ' free%y &o%unteere' for the rmy which w s c%e r fromthe seri % num$er in the $ook prece'e' $y the %etters Fr for Freiwi%%iger. 0hey were pu22%e' $y thef ct th t 6 w s sti%% on%y 3ri& te First C% ss in spite of $eing &o%unteer n' in spite of my %ong ye rsof ser&ice. 0hey thought it o'' th t 6 w s ne&er w r'e' ny 'ecor tions n' e&en 'ec%ine' me' %

    $ec use 6 thought 6 'i'n?t 'eser&e it. Since these f cts together were not e sy to un'erst n'5 they $eg nto suspect th t 6 might $e n extreme 8 2i n' my c se nee'e' further scrutiny.

    6t took se&er % hours5 $ut 6 m n ge' to con&ince them th t their suspicions were wrong. At first they'i' not w nt to $e%ie&e me5 $ut fter 6 to%' them pretty much the who%e story of my %ife up to th t point5they fin %%y c me roun'. As the 'iscussion continue' on they offere' me coffee n' cig rettesJ 6n thecourse of the con&ers tion the three Americ ns to%' me th t they were Oews n' th t they were $orn in

    er%in5 $ut their p rents h ' emigr te' to Americ n $efore it w s too % te. 0hey 9oking%y referre' tothemse%&es s $e%onging to the so7c %%e' er%in 0exti%e Oews s m ny of the Oews were c %%e' sincethere were so m ny in the c%othing $usiness. Without ho%'ing nything $ ck 6 to%' them $out mychi%'hoo' frien' +ein2i +er2 n' my $eh &ior tow r' his Gnc%e. D3rior to the w r Mork h ' %%owe'himse%f to $e c ught up in the 8 2i prop g n' . ne ' y in his r 'io shop he ru'e%y refuse' to ser&ehis chi%'hoo' frien'?s unc%e $ec use he w s Oewish. After te%%ing them this5 they no %onger reg r'e'me s f n tic 8 2i.

    As 6 %eft the interrog tion tent they g &e me %o 's of choco% te n' cig rettes. 0he three Oews promise'me th t 6 cou%' %ook forw r' to e r%y re%e se from the c mp s soon s the first re%e ses were

    uthori2e'. 0his promise w s kept n' 6 th nk these men5 mem$ers of group th t we w nte' toextermin te5 for s &ing my %ife. 6 cou%' not h &e he%' out in the c mp much %onger. 6 wou%' eitherh &e co%% pse' or h &e $een h n'e' o&er to the >ussi ns.

    From these three Oews 6 %so he r' more 'et i%s $out their comm n'er the ex7%ieutn nt in the>eichswehr. 6t w s so pecu%i r th t there shou%' $e four ex7*erm ns %e 'ing n Americ n mi%it ryunit. 6 w s &ery thoughtfu% s 6 m 'e my w y $ ck to my ho%e in the groun'. My $u''y w s h ppy tosee me. 0hings cou%' h &e gone &ery 'ifferent%y. 6 sh re' the choco% te n' cig rettes with him5 weh ' no more nee' of the $% ck m rket.

    6t w sn?t unti% few ' ys % ter th t 6 re %i2e' how goo' my %uck h ' $een s resu%t of thecon&ers tions in the interrog tion tent. Wor' went roun' th t wh t we h ' fe re' the most w s $outto h ppen. 0he wor' w s th t %% *erm n so%'iers who were eng ge' with >ussi n units s of M y th

    wou%' $e fin %%y n' irre&oc $%y h n'e' o&er to the >ussi ns. 0his w s n essenti % p rt of thegreement h mmere' out $etween the Americ ns n' the So&iets n' h ' to $e 'here' to. We cou%'

    see with our own eyes th t this w s not 9ust rumor when % rge >ussi n 'et i% rri&e' to t ke contro%of the c mp.

    0here w s ne r p nic in the c mp5 n' 6 thought of my uger $urie' in my ho%e. +owe&er5 ourAmeric n comm n' nt5 the repute' tr itor to his peop%e5 Iuick%y c %%e' us out to ssem$%e n' to%' usth t he w s not re 'y to simp%y h n' us o&er to the >ussi ns5 with the exception of the ?speci % c mp?

    n' cert in%y not $y mere%y gi&ing them the who%e c mp %ock stock n' $ rre% %ike the >ussi nsw nte'. 0his m n5 who the *erm n officers c %%e' tr itor5 took it on his own he ' to 'efy the>ussi ns n' kick them out of the c mp where they were %re 'y getting themse%&es set up.

    ut the >ussi ns stoo' their groun' t the entry g te5 refuse' to mo&e n' repe te' their 'em n' th tthe c mp $e h n'e' o&er. 0his w s &ery critic % moment. 0he GS comm n' nt 'irecte' the $ rre%sof his we pons tow r' the >ussi ns %ong with the he%p of se&er % m chine guns th t were now m nne'

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    0he women were in sep r te p rt of the c mp n'they en9oye' &ery gree $%e speci % ttention from the*6?s. 6t inc%u'e' %ong st n'ing cont cts st mpe' with

    person % cont cts. 0his extr ttention for the youngwomen %so profite' us. We5 the chi%' tr nsport5 were'e$ rke' ne r them. 0hey took pity on us n' tre te'

    us to the goo' things they h ' recei&e' from the *6?ssuch s choco% te5 cig rettes5 coffee n' other s &oryitems. 0he non7*erm n $eh &ior of the women h '

    %re 'y %e' to n exp%osi&e tension $etween the womenn' the *erm n so%'iers. 0he n'ser cou%'n?t

    un'erst n' how these women h ' $een so Iuick tothrow themse%&es t the Americ n *6?s5 n' now h 'o$t ine' foo' n' 'rink %% un'er the noses of the*erm n so%'iers. 0hese ?' mes? h ' on%y recent%y $een

    %it2mQ'chen5 th t is to s y uftw ffe Sign % Corpshe%pers. thers worke' s F% k gun crews n' other

    fem %e support positions in the Wehrm cht. 0here were %so m ny ci&i%i n women n' gir%s in thec mp who f%e' the C2echs. 0hese women were re$uke' $y the *erm n so%'iers for se%%ing themse%&esto the *6?s in such n unseem%y m nner. 0hey were whores who g &e themse%&es to the Americ ns

    fter $eing the p% ythings of the *erm n re r eche%on up unti% the en' of the w r.

    0hose of us rri&ing from +or 2'o&ice h ' one $ig pro$%em n' th t w s the Iuestion of wh t w sgoing to h ppen to us now th t we were in this gig ntic c mp. We were &ery 'ou$tfu% $out oursitu tion5 $ut we he r' th t the c mp h ' its own tr nsport tion connection to the *erm n home% n'.0he c mp h ' its own r i%ro ' spur n' w iting tr ins he 'e' tow r' our homes. 3riority for tr nsportwere the women5 chi%'ren5 sick n' woun'e'5 $ut %so some 'emo$i%i2e' so%'iers. 0h t g &e us hopesince we were p rt of the chi%' tr nsport e& cuees. We were %so concerne' $out the o&ercrow'ingin the c mp. 6t w s %re 'y o&erf%owing $efore we e&en rri&e' here.

    We 9ust h ' to $e p tient n' t ny r te the con'itions here were $etter th n +or 2'o&ice. 0here w smore to e t5 n' not 9ust w tere'7'own tom to p ste5 $ut re % foo'. 8one of us were ccustome' tosuch goo' foo'5 $ut we got use' to it re % Iuick.

    ur group w s tre te' s c%ose' unit5 n' s such it w s registere'5 kept int ct n' gi&en specific p% ce in the c mp. 6 stoo' out s somewh t out of p% ce mong the chi%'ren n' the sick peop%e5 $ut 6 $e%onge' to the group n' 6 stuck with them. After few ' ys something h ppene' which w sconsi'ere' unusu %. ur group w s c %%e' together n' we were ex mine' $y me'ic % 'octor. 6t w sr ther Iuick n' perfunctory ex m. We were 'ec% re' 3hysic %%y fit5 n' e&eryone recei&e' Certific te of 1isch rge. 0his p per5 ' te' Ou%y 4eich

    $or Ser&ice in Worpswe'e which 6 %so entere' on n 4 th5 Apri% 4 5 4;

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    %eft us such short time in c mp n' put us so Iuick%y on the w y tow r' home. 6t w s goo' to $e p rtof the chi%'ren?s group5 e&en though t !

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    conIuer. We ro'e cross the *erm n $or'er tow r' the 8orth n' s w once g in the *erm n townsn' countrysi'e5 $ut %so wh t h ' $ecome of them. >u$$%e5 ruins5 hurt peop%e who for the most p rt

    'i' not $other to e&en %ook t the p ssing so%'iers. 0hey h ' $igger pro$%ems. We ex7so%'iers h 'im gine' our return home from the w r &ery 'ifferent%y. We h ' im gine' $e ming &ictors greete' $y

    9u$i% nt throngs of 'miring citi2ens. 0here wou%' $e g%orious &ictory p r 'es %% o&er *erm ny n'especi %%y the p r 'e to en' %% p r 'es in the n tion % c pito% of er%in tten'e' $y +it%er n' the

    n tion % %e 'ers from %% points of the *re ter7*erm n >eich. An' now5 now we c me $ ck p theticn' inner%y 'estroye' to the % n' th t w s once the gre t n' prou' >eich. We c me $ ck to ru$$%e7fi%%e' % n'sc pe where the sur&i&ors &eget te' %ike hum n ru$$%e in % n' of misery.

    ur trip to free'om w s &ery oppressi&e 9ourney. ur moo' w s not &ery h ppy $ec use of wh t wewere seeing %ong the w y. We were %% fr i' of wh t we wou%' fin' when we fin %%y got to ourhomes5 if they e&en existe' ny more.

    We he r' of the fin % en' to the w r in Europe5 $ut we %so he r' th t the w r sti%% r ge' in the F r E st.We were surprise' th t the O p nese were sti%% $ tt%ing on5 $ut we 'i'n?t re %%y c re nymore. For usthe import nt thing w s th t ?our? w r w s o&er.

    0here were some 'ifficu%ties with the composition of our tr nsport. 0he 'ifficu%ties were 'ue to the p rtitioning of *erm ny. 6t w s so th t in the >ussi n5 French n' Eng%ish 2ones no *erm n so%'iersh ' $een 'isch rge' yet. 0his w s pro$%em for me $ec use remen w s in the Americ n enc% &e $ut'i' not h &e its own 'isch rge office. 8e&erthe%ess 6 w s Iuick%y re%e se' from the ritish 2one withthe note th t 6 wou%' $e m king my w y to remen. 6 wou%' t ke it on myse%f to 'o so5 $ut the m inthing is th t 6 w s no %onger 3 W. After getting p st th t5 the other pro$%ems wou%' $e m n ge $%e.

    6 fin %%y got off the freight tr in in the ritish Pone in Wunstorf ne r + nno&er. 6t w s t compoun'of the former uftw ffe irfie%'. At % st 6 w s $%e to get out of th t stinking freight c r where thehum n excrement h ' $een pi%ing up $ec use we h ' $een for$i''en to %e &e the r i%7c rs e&en whenwe stoppe' in r i% st tion.

    6 h ' ''ition % pro$%ems with the ritish $out the next %eg of my trip $ec use they 'i' not think th tmy 'estin tion w s ppropri te. With the he%p of *erm n so%'ier who w s working with the ritishwe c me up with so%ution th t w s not Iuite correct n' ne r%y on the &erge of $eing i%%eg %. We resetmy 'estin tion city s %'en$urg $ec use it w s ne r%y the s me s remenJ D0he two cities re

    ctu %%y B" mi%es p rt. 6t w s he%pfu% th t 6 w s $%e to s y th t 6 %i&e' in %'en$urg $efore the w r%though time7wise it w s not entire%y correct. 8e&erthe%ess5 it worke' n' 6 soon foun' myse%f on n

    Eng%ish truck he 'e' tow r' %'en$urg. 0his ri'e fi%%e' me wi%% %ot of me% ncho%y thoughts s 6remem$er the gre t times 6 h ' in

    %'en$urg 'uring p st th t now %eftme with nothing $ut nost %gi .

    My trip en'e' t the +orse M rketSIu re 9ust few steps from my o%''omici%e. 6 stoo' in the f mi%i rsIu re s one who h ' &ery %itt%e tohope for. 6 thought $ ck to

    8o&em$er ;5 4;B n' to the peop%e6 s w st n'ing there on th t ' y inthe SIu re. Oews who h ' $een /he orse arket S8uare in Oldenburg

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    roun'e' up 'uring the night n' who stoo' there much %ike 6 'i' now with no i'e s to wh t w sgoing to h ppen to them. 6t is so str nge how things c n turn roun' in %ife. ck then 6 w s h ppyyoung m n fu%% of hope for the future n' now here 6 w s on the s me spot $ur'ene' with %o ' ofmisery. 6t w s the s me sIu re5 n me' A'o%f +it%er73% t2 'uring the 0hir' >eich5 $ut %w ys c %%e'+orse M rket SIu re $y the %oc %s. 6 h ' to w it now for e&ents th t might possi$%y get me %% the w yto remen if 6 cou%' pu%% them together.

    0his w s going to $e 'ifficu%t. 6 h ' to 'o it $ec use of the reIuirement th t 6 h ' to report to my hometown5 prim ri%y in or'er to get r tion c r's which cou%' on%y $e o$t ine' $y reporting in s 'irecte'. 6w nte' to pu%% my h ir out. 6 w s 9ust few ki%ometers from home h &ing pro$%ems with regu% tionsth t m 'e no sense to me. At %e st 6 w s in my own *erm ny n' not trying to 'o this in some foreign% n'. 6 cou%'n?t figure it5 $ut it wh t 'i' 6 know $out the new ru%e un'er mi%it ry % w n' the

    $ure ucr cy they h ' impose' on the *erm n wor%'

    ut in %'en$urg there w s &ery resourcefu% n'ser who w s ch rge' $y the ritish with h n'%ingthe form %ities ssoci te' with getting *erm n so%'iers 'isch rge'. 0his n'ser foun' w y out forme5 e&en if it w s %itt%e roun'7 $out. 0he so%ution w s to h &e me report to the town of erne whichw s sti%% in the %'en$urg 'istrict5 $ut not too f r from my re % home town of esum. 0here 6 cou%'sure%y get my 'ocument tion tr nsferre' to the Work ure u in remen n' th t wou%' put me incomp%i nce with the regu% tions. 0hen 6 cou%' go home to esum n' $e uthori2e' to get my r tionc r's there. First 6 h ' to figure out how to get to remen. 0h t wou%' not $e e sy since %% of the

    $ri'ges o&er the wi'e Weser ri&er h ' $een 'estroye'. e th t s it m y5 6 st rte' out th t s me ' y for1e%menhorst s the first %eg of the trip hoping th t 6 cou%' figure out wh t to 'o next fter 6 got there. 6 cou%' h &e use' my time in %'en$erg to &isit the ? %' Firm? n' the Grsins f mi%y who r n the firm.DMork worke' for them $efore the w r in their r 'io n' e%ectronics s %esroom. 3erh ps th t wou%'not h &e $een &ery goo' i'e gi&en %% th t h ' h ppene' since 6 worke' there n' gi&en 3 u% n'Emm ?s ssoci tion with the 8 2i p rty. esi'es5 the he%pfu% n'ser h ' suggeste' th t 6 get mo&ing

    s soon s possi$%e. So 6 h ' to skip m king &isits5 e&en to my o%' p rtment which w s on%y fewsteps w y cross the sIu re. My current situ tion w s not con'uci&e to m king soci % c %%s5 6 h ' totry somew y to get to remen n' for s tire' n' we k s 6 w s th t wou%' t ke %% my rem iningstrength.

    A%ong with some other ex7so%'iers 6 set out $y foot5 ccomp nie' $y my me% ncho%y memories of myshort $ut $ri%%i nt youth. We hike' o&er the +unte ri'ge tow r' 1e%menhorst. 0here w s no otherme ns of tr nsport tion. We w %ke' s Iuick%y s we cou%' $ut the curfew hour c ught up with uswhi%e we were sti%% en route. *erm n men simp%y cou%' not $e out on the streets n' ro 's ftercurfew. 0he pen %ties were &ery h rsh. We were c%ose to 1e%menhorst n' foun' peop%e to t ke pityon us n' in&ite us into their homes for the night unti% we wou%' $e %%owe' to tr &e% g in t ' y$re k.

    6n t %king with them we 'i' not he r much goo' news $out the %oc % situ tion. 0here were h r'%y ny $ri'ges %eft st n'ing o&er the Weser ri&er n' towns5 %ike my hometown esum5 took he &y ' m ge'uring the fighting in the re . We cou%' not get ny concrete inform tion $out 'et i%s $ec use thenews out%ets no %onger functione'. 0his w s &ery $ ' news for me. 6 w s Iuite 'epresse' s 6 m 'emy w y tow r' remen. 6 nee'e' to get to the Weser ri&er then figure out some w y to get cross.

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    With the he%p of ri'e in horse w gon 6 m n ge' to get to the Weser ri'ge. 6 s w th t it wou%' $e possi$%e5 though with consi'er $%e 'ifficu%ty5 to c%im$ o&er the ruins of the $ri'ge n' get to the othersi'e %ike some others h ' %re 'y 'one. 6 got to the other si'e n' m 'e my w y to the r i% st tion tofin' out th t tr ins were running to esum n' to Veges ck. 0he $ri'ge o&er the esum >i&er w sonce g in us $%e5 th nks to the Americ ns who %so nee'e' the $ri'ge to get supp%ies from

    remerh &en to the occup tion forces in remen n' the southern p rt of the Americ n Pone.

    As 'isch rge' so%'ier5 s trou$%e' something7or7other5 h %f st r&e'5 tot %%y $e'r gg%e'5 tot %%yexh uste' n' on sh king %egs 6 stoo' in wh t they c %%e' the remen > i%ro ' St tion n' %ooke' forthe tr in th t wou%' t ke me to esum. 0h t w s ssuming th t 6 cou%' sti%% m n ge to c%im$ into ther i%ro ' c r n' not kee% o&er.

    +ow things h ' ch nge' in contr st to the times when 6 h ' p sse' this w y fu%% of goo' cheer5 orwhen 6 h ' w nte' to &o%unteer to 9oin up to ser&e F:hrer5 Fo%k n' F ther% n'. 0here w s %so thetime when 6 c me through here fu%% of expect tions5 re 'y to en9oy some %e &e time $efore 'e$ rkingfor foreign % n's.

    8ow 6 stoo' here in the remen St tion w iting for tr in th t wou%' c rry me into new uncert inties5into wor%' th t w s str nge for me. 0he on%y reference point 6 h ' w s the wife w iting for me in

    esum. 0he who%e rest of it wou%' $e new n' str nge % n' for me n' 6 wou%' h &e no he%p to fin'my w y. My mother wou%' h &e $een gre t he%p to me5 $ut she w s no %onger %i&ing5 n' 6 cou%' notexpect much from my f ther. +e w s 'e %ing with his %one%iness n' it wou%' $e &ery 'ifficu%t for himsince he5 too5 re%ie' on my mother for gui' nce n' counse% in %ife 'ecisions.

    6 w s going $ ck to my wife. Gp unti% our m rri ge5 we h ' %i&e' c refree %ife together where we s wourse%&es s gre t %o&ers. We were now m n n' wife. We got m rrie' so th t we cou%' en9oy thecomfort $%e fee%ing of $eing m rrie' coup%e th t wou%' %i&e on in pe ce n' h ppiness. ut th t w snot to $e. 8ow5 in &ery 'ifferent wor%' we h ' to 'e % with one nother ' i%y n' try to $ui%' new%ife th t we cou%' not im gine or e&en know to $e possi$%e.

    9uined .ridges over the "eser 9iver in .remen

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    My wife %i&e' in her p rent?s house where 6 w s str nger n' 'i' not know how to ct. 6 h ' no oneto turn to for he%p on how to 'e % with the &ery new n' 'ifferent circumst nces 6 now foun' myse%f in.My wife n' 6 were c %%ow n' inexperience' n' now we were expecte' to $ui%' %ife in wor%' th tw s not on%y uncert in5 $ut %so % y in ruins. We h ' no i'e how we wou%' m ke en's meet or how togo $out $ui%'ing our future. 0here were no % n'm rks to gi&e us perspecti&e.

    6 thought h r' $out our future $ut sti%% h ' no c%ue th t wou%' %%ow me to s y5 0his is it5 this wi%% getme through to goo' %ife. 0hese thoughts 'i' not get me &ery f r except to the point where 6 s i' tomyse%f it wi%% h ppen. 0he most import nt thing right now w s to get $ ck home where th t new %ifewou%' $egin.

    An ir of uncert inty hung o&er e&erything5 especi %%y o&er how 6 wou%' m n ge to e rn %i&ing. 0h tseeme' hope%ess. +ow wou%' it $e possi$%e to support wife n' possi$%y chi%' +ow cou%' wet ck%e the ch %%enge of m king th t %ife for ourse%&es5 %ife of pe ce n' h ppiness A%% we h ' w s &ery & gue hope for $etter %ife. +ow cou%' we o&ercome the o$st c%es without $ecoming $itter

    Among %% of these thoughts 6 %so re %i2e' th t e&en 'uring the w r 6 h ' %w ys $een ?c re' for.?1uring the who%e w r 6 ne&er h ' to worry $out pro&i'ing foo' n' she%ter for myse%f. 0he rmy 'i'it %% for me without effort on my p rt. efore 6 9oine' the rmy5 it w s my p rents who took c re ofthose nee's for me n' %et me go $out my existence c refree.0hese 'epressing thoughts weighe' he &i%y on me s 6 c%im$e' onto the tr in th t wou%' t ke me to

    esum. 0he s me esum th t 6 h ' %eft with such nxious emotions5 $ut with the reso%ution th t5 inspite of nything th t might come my w y5 6 wou%' $e he 'e' to ?new %ife? e&en though 6 cou%' notim gine wh t th t %ife wou%' $e %ike. 6t re %%y wou%' $e new %ife for me fter this terri$%e w r th t 6h ' sur&i&e' n' now for me in August 4;