Monologues
3
Comic Potential, Alan Ayckbourn Adam: The look? Oh, you mean the take? … the double take. You know about double takes? ... It’s a well -known comic device – the double take – or in Keaton’s case the quarter take. The demi-semi miniscule take. But at the other end of the scale you have someone like – let’s see – James Finlayson – Finlayson’s a good example. He was famous from the Laurel and Hardy movies, Do you know the - ? No? Well, Finlayson would do takes where he literally took off and left the ground. Bold massive takes. Like this. (he demonstrates badly) Really funny. When he did them. Ok, I’ll teach you. Right. Let’s see. Imagine you’re reading a book, yes? You hear me come into the room… You know it’s me, so you don’t look up at once. What you don’t know is that I am covered in mud. I have fallen in a puddle outside the house and I am covered in black slimy mud from head to toe. You look up casually, you see me, register my presence but your book is so interesting you go quickly back to it. You do that… Now, as you look at your book again, the image of me suddenly registers on your brain. You realise what you’ve seen. You look at me again. Quickly, sharply this time. Amazed. All right. Let’s do the whole thing. You’re reading your book. H ere I come. Covered in mud. Good, excellent. Your first double take… we’ll make a comedian of you yet. Next week, the custard pie.
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Monologues
Transcript of Monologues
Comic Potential, Alan AyckbournAdam:The look? Oh, you mean the take? the double take. You know about double takes? ... Its a well-known comic device the double take or in Keatons case the quarter take. The demi-semi miniscule take. But at the other end of the scale you have someone like lets see James Finlayson Finlaysons a good example. He was famous from the Laurel and Hardy movies, Do you know the - ? No? Well, Finlayson would do takes where he literally took off and left the ground. Bold massive takes. Like this. (he demonstrates badly) Really funny. When he did them. Ok, Ill teach you. Right. Lets see. Imagine youre reading a book, yes? You hear me come into the room You know its me, so you dont look up at once. What you dont know is that I am covered in mud. I have fallen in a puddle outside the house and I am covered in black slimy mud from head to toe. You look up casually, you see me, register my presence but your book is so interesting you go quickly back to it. You do that Now, as you look at your book again, the image of me suddenly registers on your brain. You realise what youve seen. You look at me again. Quickly, sharply this time. Amazed. All right. Lets do the whole thing. Youre reading your book. Here I come. Covered in mud. Good, excellent. Your first double take well make a comedian of you yet. Next week, the custard pie.
Seeing You There, Ordinary Days, Adam GwonI used to go to that market on Tenth StreetEvery Sunday, rain or shineAnd the truth is I hated that market on Tenth StreetDigging through junks not a hobby of mineBut I knew if I rolled out of bed by nine thirtyAnd hopped on the subway by ten, then,I might get the chance to spend half of my morningSeeing you there.After we met I would stop by that bakeryUp on Seventh, real up scaleAnd I have to admit that I hated that bakeryThe staff was pretentious, the cupcakes were staleBut I knew if we fought I could show the next morningA slice of peach cobbler in handAnd youd open the door and Id finish my penanceSeeing you there.I made it perfectly clear when we metI did not like the parks in this townIf you wanted a fieldI would find us a real one upstate.But you had that bench down in Washington SquareSurrounded by concrete and bombs everywhereBut I promised Id meet you thereTold you Id run a bit late.Well, actually I was on time, only standing thereWatching you wait.Then like something in a movieThe sunlight hits your faceThe wind picks upYour hair fluttersAnd dances towards the skyYou turn your headMy heart fluttersAnd I dont know whyI think I might cry!Cause there I am standing agapeIn a park in the cityUsually something I cant bearBut with you there the park was this magical landscapeIts true, there were hippies but I didnt careBecause I was distracted by all of these feelingsExactly what I didnt knowSo I searched for the words and I blurted, I love you.Im not gonna lieI dont know quite whySorry to give you a scareBut maybe it came fromJust seeing you there.Open Road, Glory Days, Nick BlaemireWell, I took a month off from schoolAnd decided to go on a tripSo I packed my bags and kissed my mum goodbye.
I got into my car, what a lousy piece of shitBut I didnt care cause I just needed to tryAnd go driving down the coast, in the nice days or the rainI wore the same clothes and got food on the go.
I tore around those curvesAnd went speeding through the planesSometimes I went so fast I wanted to explodeCause it was just me, and the open road.
I stopped at all the parksAnd slept under the skyAnd when I woke I drove the rest of the day.
I took shortcuts through peoples yards and ran my gas tank close to dryAnd when I sped by cops, I knew just what to say after the fourteenth timeWhen I was driving down the eastWith my windows rolled down lowThere was so much air that I could hardly breathe
I taught myself the landFrom the Blue Ridge to PoconosI became and expert on how the traffic flowedI loved my life alone on the open road.
And then I met this kid who wanted to go cross country like I didBut wouldnt hitch because he had too much prideSo, I offered him a ride.
We learnt about each others lives, as we talked all through the nightAnd when he thought the time was right,He kissed me in the carBeneath a starless skyAnd with that kiss he opened up my mind.
And we went driving.We went drivingWe were drivingJust me, a beautiful boy, and the open road.
