Miskatonic University Health & Saftey
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MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY OFFICE OF FACILITIES MANAGEMENT & OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH AND SAFETY THIS IS A COSMIC HORROR FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT In order to comply with State and Federal law, the university has enacted policies designed to hide humanity from the baleful gaze of the Old Ones. Extradimensional summonings and other unspeakable necromantic rites will not be tolerated. Please report to your Lab Manager, Unit Supervisor, or to your HR Liason any of the following: ● incidents of possession ● acts of human sacrifice 1 ● noisome ichors ● gibbering madness 2 ● nonEuclidean geometries This work place maintains the highest standards of conduct and civility, including respect for the boundaries of the spacetime continuum. Remember, the dead gods of alien civilizations undermine productivity and professionalism. Safety is everyone’s responsibility. 1 The souls of contract researchers and postdoctoral affiliates may be offered on designated altars “when the stars are right” (e.g. during NIH, NSF, or NEH granting cycles or other similarly nightmarish incursions from eldritch realities forever beyond human comprehension, see: Office of Sponsored Projects Handbook Section 4b: ‘Grant Management Reporting, BloodPayment Accounting Rules and Institutional CostSharing’). 2 Exceptions: (a) Communications from the Office of the Chancellor; (b) departmental colloquia Copyright 2014: Eric Kansa and the general fevered swamp of geekdom. Miskatonic University seal from (http://villains.wikia.com/wiki/File:The_Seal_of_Miskatonic_University.jpg )[CCBYSA]. Shoggoth image from the Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoggoth )[CCBYSA].
Transcript of Miskatonic University Health & Saftey
MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY OFFICE OF FACILITIES MANAGEMENT & OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH AND SAFETY
THIS IS A COSMIC HORROR FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT
In order to comply with State and Federal law, the university has enacted policies designed to hide humanity from the baleful gaze of the Old Ones. Extradimensional summonings and other unspeakable necromantic rites will not be tolerated. Please report to your Lab Manager, Unit Supervisor, or to your HR Liason any of the following:
incidents of possession acts of human sacrifice 1 noisome ichors gibbering madness 2 nonEuclidean geometries
This work place maintains the highest standards of conduct and civility, including respect for the boundaries of the spacetime continuum. Remember, the dead gods of alien civilizations undermine productivity and professionalism. Safety is everyone’s responsibility.
1 The souls of contract researchers and postdoctoral affiliates may be offered on designated altars “when the stars are right” (e.g. during NIH, NSF, or NEH granting cycles or other similarly nightmarish incursions from eldritch realities forever beyond human comprehension, see: Office of Sponsored Projects Handbook Section 4b: ‘Grant Management Reporting, BloodPayment Accounting Rules and Institutional CostSharing’). 2 Exceptions: (a) Communications from the Office of the Chancellor; (b) departmental colloquia
Copyright 2014: Eric Kansa and the general fevered swamp of geekdom. Miskatonic University seal from (http://villains.wikia.com/wiki/File:The_Seal_of_Miskatonic_University.jpg)[CCBYSA]. Shoggoth image from the Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoggoth)[CCBYSA].
