!EPIC FRESHER FAIL!Our favourite fail of the night (we had sevreal to choose from) had to be the

scantily-clad Eastwood fresher at the bar who proclaimed herself a heavyweight, ordered two pints of snakebite and at-

tempted to down both at once. This only resulted in a cascade of lager, cider and

blackcurrant being poured down her top and through her hair and we found her half an hour later, curled up at the

bottom of the stairs with far less clothing on, mashing out some kind of text to her flatmate whom we gather had already

been on the prowl and gone home with her latest conquest. Good one.

mintyfresh... fresher than a Tub full of first yearsMonday 26th September 2011

!FRESHER OF THE WEEKEND! ‘Mr Floppy’ - caught in his birthday suit; what a

LOO-ny fresher

University of Bath Freshers 2011, you are doing us proud! You’ve only been here three days but we’ve already seen levels of, er, socialising that would rival one of Lindsay Lohan’s birthday par-ties. Occurences so far include the above ‘fine’ specimen of a gentleman getting caught, with his trousers (and everything else) down at the first big event of the weekend; the Surprise Party. Good effort, mate. The Norwood residents kicked it all off with the world’s BIGGEST game of ‘I have never’ ranging from “I have never been on an aeroplane” to “I have never peed myself in pub-lic when drunk”. Let it be known that someone on our sabbatical team may have imbibed at this point. Unfortunately(?), we didn’t witness anyone admitting to punching a farmyard animal, but one nice young man did give us all a detailed ac-count of the super-fun solo time he once had on a plane. Not even long-haul. mintyfresh then partied our way across campus to find hundreds of you freshers spilling out onto the front lawns in Westwood. All we can say in print is that we met some ‘interesting’ characters... Just before we squeezed our way into The Tub, we came across Rory from Solsbury, worthy of a mention as he’d already been thrown

out for ‘socialising’ too enthusiastically. Embarass-ing. In the smoking area (once we had stepped around the suspicious puddle on the floor that we later discovered was courtesy of one classy Woodland girl) we were approached by one rather handsy fresher who, whilst being disap-pointed we weren’t first years available for the taking, seemed to be very happy we would be gracing his kitchen with our presence through-out the week. He happened to have a very ap-propriate surname, too, so ring 07887516*** if you want to ‘Pardy’. Back to the juicy bit - our Freshers of the Night were spotted emerging from the disabled loo, pursued by security, after having what they later described as a “political debate”. Why on earth this would require the removal of all clothes we are yet to fathom. We later found them trying to jump the fence into the smoking area. After calming them down and convincing them we weren’t a bunch of “mental bitches” (an accusation made by the female party) we got to know them better. We’ll nickname them “Mr Floppy” and “Ms Disappointed”, take from that what you will. After much discussion, and the discovery that it was Mr Floppy’s birthday, they made their merry way back inside. Ms Dis-

Yes this could, in fact, be the largest EVER game of ‘I have never’

International students show off their immense flag-drawing abilities

New international arrivals were given the chance to meet and greet fellow students at two events in 4 West’s Tiki café. On arrival we were given a sticker and a stick and all got to work crafting our home flags - some with more success than others (some flags are re-ally hard to draw!). Students came from all over the world, including Spain, France, Estonia, Hong Kong, Denmark, Canada, China, Austria and Germany to name but a few, some on Eras-mus exchanges and others studying full-time. We went along to chat to some of them and find out just what made them choose Bath. Asking the question “Why Bath?” our favourite answer was Andras, from Hungary, who said: “It’s beautiful… I’m in love with it”. Whilst some came to Bath by word of mouth or by finding us online; we were repeatedly told Bath boasted outstand-ing rankings in a number of subjects - but not drawing flags, clearly!

appointed later commented, “He couldn’t even get it up!” (we assume she was talking about the door handle) and was later seen in the toi-lets turning her pants the right way round (must have been an error in getting dressed). Witnesses informed mintyfresh that she later found an-other willing Fresher see to her ‘needs’. Once we seen enough (and far too much) we slid across the jagerbomb-coated floor towards the exits, just as we saw another couple scurrying towards the disabled toilet. No lie.

The Freshers have landed, and let’s just say the first night was, erm… eventful, to say the least...

facebook.com/bathmintyfresh

The search for the most slammin’ shindig of the week gets underway...

The mintyfresh team headed off on Sunday night in pursuit of the lights and sounds of the best freshers pre-socialisation of the night. We were instantly attracted to Brendon Court, where what we must conclude to be the runner-up party was underway; having around 50 people in one kitchen singing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air means both a lot of excitement and a lot of sweat. As we squeezed past the highly lu-bricated freshers, however, we did have a very unexpected reunion with one ‘Ms Disappointed’ (see above). As we continued on our journey across campus, we were impressed by the patrio-tism of the new Conygreans, who were express-ing their adoration for Conygre, the Queen, and Wales. All of Westwood had spilled out onto the grass in front of their halls and, unlike last year, none of these parties seemed to have yet been declared “illegal”. Westwood, so far your Fresh-ers’ Report is ‘must work harder’. In Norwood level 6 we found a pretty impressive gathering, a man dressed as a Zebra should surely get together with the guy walking round dressed as a tiger (may I now point out that the tiger suit has been worn for two consec-utive club nights; no washing, slightly disgusting) Naomi from Solsbury MD6, your friends hope you had a peaceful night’s sleep, which I doubt happened seeing as the winning party of the night was only a few metres below you. When all of you climbed a hill to plank for a photo we were very impressed. A good start to the halls of the week rivalry.

Cheese night reaches stilton status as arrivals get

‘extra mature’

The students from Solsbury Court put their best freshers faces on; say ‘mintyfresh’ everyone!

Brought to you by the bathimpact team

www.bathimpact.com

Onesie of the weekend... goes to ‘Zebra Man’

QUOTES OF THE NIGHT:

Brendon Court displays a good effort. Our report-ers say the Ms Disappointed is captured here

but which wild woman is she?

BEST LEAST Dressed Fresher

This vulumptious lady wins the mintyfresh acclaim of ‘Least Dressed - bring on tomorrow’s competitors!

Captains and sabbs get good and cheesy

- Mr Floppy: “I have lost my friends.” Our reporter: “As opposed to your dignity?”- Woodland fresher: “The magician licked meat paste off his balls!”- Westwood fresher: “My mate Lewis shat himself...”- Jonathan from Norwood: “I have already urinated on Eastwood” (Burn!)

Cheese Night; we forgot how excellent you could be. Watching a thousand stu-dents doing the Macarena is surely a sight to be seen, however, it must be said, for people who are aged 18 to 20, you defi-nitely showed a little too much excitement; really guys, this song’s primary market is youths aged 7 to 14. We also enjoyed the sight of you all running “your hands through your fro”.

We met a lovely duo of Span-ish charmers; Miguel and Manuel from Woodland and Westwood, who told us about their friends Alex and Mark who were involved in a very embarrassing situation involving some meat paste, a mouth, and some spherical appendages that dangle southwards.

Once the alcohol, bodily fluid and conga lines had dried up, we decided to call it a night and slunk home, nursing our wounds from over-enthusiastic face-lick-ing, arse-grabbing and the odd proposal, happy in the knowledge that it all really begins today.

Bring it on Bath, bring it on.

Beware the incredibly tall fresher who gets absurdly drunk and crushes happy-go-lucky freshers on The Tub dancefloor.

If you see this man, our witnesses give the advice: “Run away. Please, just run”.

Wolfson newcomers should keep an eye out for two male freshers who apparently

love a cheeky spoon in random girls’ beds. Our source had to viciously force them to leave her room, so women of Wolfson … keep a keen eye out for our

loved-up pair.

We were also told about a wandering ‘sexual’ predator prowling the dancefloor;

but with only the description of “short, brown hair and a knowing look” there

was only so far our investigative journal-ism could go. Good luck, girls.