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A N I N T R O D U C T I O N T O CHARACTER

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IntroductionWithout your even knowing it, your

experiences in life have built your character.Your parents, family, friends, teachers, and communities all have had a stake in buildingyou up to be the person you are today. Everyinteraction that you have with another humanbeing or living creature shows what type of person you are. How are you respectful? How are you responsible? How are you caring?How are you fair? How are you a good citizen?Believe it or not—how you answer those questions says a lot about the type of personthat you are and are becoming.

People of character choose to make goodchoices and are firm in their words and actions.They have a firm foundation behind them sothat they can make choices that impact theworld around them. People of character take thelead and succeed. They have figured out what ittakes to be a good person today so that they cancontinue to make a difference tomorrow.

No one said it would be easy, though. Beinga person of character is difficult. You have tofigure out what is right in a world that is full ofwrongs and stick to it, even when someoneclose to you might try to pressure you intoanother direction. Every single day is a challenge. Every day there are opportunities to make mistakes, pick up the pieces, and make better decisions tomorrow.

As you read on, you will discover how tobecome a person of character in communication, in relationships, in your decision making, in time management, in dealing with change and stress, and in being aglobal citizen. A person of character must beaware of all of these things in order to truly findbalance and truth in his/her life.

Character GlossaryPeople of Character—People who make goodchoices that benefit themselves and others andare firm in their words and actions.

Respect—Being concerned and considerate foryourself and others through your words andactions.

Responsibility—Being accountable for yourthoughts, words, and actions. Being able tomake choices between right and wrong.

Caring—The work of the heart! In addition to caring for yourself, being interested in someone else’s life or situation other than your own, and actually doing something to show that you care.

Fairness—When everyone has the same chances to succeed or fail.

Citizenship—Being active in the communities you are a part of—school, church, neighborhood, city, state, nation, and world.

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People of Character…in Communication

You communicate with others every daythrough your words, actions, facial expressions,but most of all, through your character. How youchoose to communicate is a direct reflection ofyour character. Let’s face it—sometimes ourcommunication is great, but other times, it just stinks.

Let’s think about what it’s like being a middleschool student today. You communicate in waysthat your parents and teachers never did whenthey were your age. You have access to theInternet with instant-messaging, you often usecell phones to chat with your friends, you text-message, you may use personal networkingsites on the web, and some kids your age evenblog about their lives. Not to mention that youstill talk with your friends on a daily basis in thehalls and classrooms at school and out of school,you interact with your teachers and principals ona daily basis, and most of all, even though youdon’t want to admit it, you communicate withyour parents every day. The way you communicate with each of thesegroups varies based on the situation and topic of discussion.

Instructions: Write a statement that shares exactly how youwould communicate in eachof these situations. Includewords and what kind of body language you may be conveying.

Greeting your best friend in person at the mall.

You need to text message a friend to see if he/she is coming to the movie at 7pm.

Calling a friend from school to get help with a math problem.

Asking your teacher a question about a science assignment.

A blog of your day at school.

ANSWER

ANSWER

ANSWER

ANSWER

ANSWER

ANSWER

A N I N T R O D U C T I O N T O COMMUNICATION

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You think your parents are being unfair about not allowing you to go to a basketball game with a friend. Describe that conversation.Sam

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A N I N T R O D U C T I O N T O NETWORKING

What message are you sendingout toward others?

Communication is a beast of a word. It caninclude everything from how you write an e-mail to afriend to how you speak with your mom about whatyou’d like to do this weekend. However you look at it,understanding how you communicate your characteris important.

A person of character must realize that every interaction he/she has with another living thing communicates a message—good or bad. That’sbecause communication has something called tone.Tone is how something is perceived or interpretedbased on how the communication took place. The way a message is received depends upon the tone that is shared during the communication.

Just think about it. Do you communicate with your friends the

same way that you communicatewith your parents? Is the language that you use with your friends the same as whenyou’re talking around the dinner

table with your mom and dad or your grandparents?Probably not, because we tend to use slang and jargon when we’re just talking with our friends, and your parents don’t always appreciate that whenyou are talking with them. Do your parents and teachers appreciate when you are sarcastic and convey body language that shows disrespect? No. But if you rephrase what you say and present it in a positive light, you are far more likely to get what you want.

So the big question is, how do you maintainintegrity in all types of communication without harming your character?

The forms of communication that you use todayeach have a different set of hidden “rules” for theiruse. One-on-one communication seems to be the besttype of communication to use, as you can look the person in the eye, can read facial and body expressions, and hopefully be able to feel the tone ofwhat is being communicated. With the rise of theInternet, computers, and cell phones, people are now“hiding” behind technology and tone is becoming amore difficult thing to understand for many people.

Other forms of communicationbesides one-on-one

communication are way trickierto interpret and understand.For instance, you tend to use

lots of words when you’re talkingon the phone with a friend. Your voiceinflection and tone can be heard on thephone, but your facial and body

expressions cannot. You might be laughingout loud, but be really annoyed by what was saidand have a grumpy look on your face. You couldbe rolling your eyes at the person, and theywouldn’t even know it. A person of character willtake the time to be courteous to whomever theyare speaking with on the phone, will listen intently, and will not say mean or cruel things tothe person on the other line. Maintaining your integrity as a person is so important to creating a viable future.

If you instant- or text-message that same friend, youmight shorten words and use abbreviations as you type it intoyour phone or computer to savetime, and they will have no idea what kind oftone you are wanting to convey in the message.Something that you meant to be funny could endup hurting someone’s feelings because they didn’t know the tone that you were trying to send.

The same is true with e-mail. When a personsends an e-mail, we don’t see the person’s faceas they are typing. That’s why we tend to use(ha-ha), (wink-wink) or (just kidding) to help theother person know what we are meaning by whatwas typed. Here again, once it’s in words on thescreen, it’s hard to take something back. You

never know how something is going tobe interpreted, so choose yourwords wisely. It’s also very important to think about whom youare sending the message to beforeyou write it. If you are sending a

message to your friend, you mightuse slang and jargon, but if you are

sending a message to an adult or abusiness, you would write it using correct grammar, usage, and spelling.

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AND COMMUNICATION

With the world of the Internet, you haveaccess to many websites, social networking sites,chatrooms, blogs, and so much more. It’s veryimportant for you to stay safe and not share personal information on sites, as you couldbecome a target for someone with bad intentions. When creating your screen names,don’t include your graduation year or anythingthat would give a clue about your age. If someone asks you inappropriate questions aboutsex or asks you to meet them somewhere, don’tgo. Tell an adult right away that this happened.Stay on sites that are “safe” and that your parents approve. Your safety is number one priority. Cyberbullying is becoming more prevalent with kids your age because of the useof social networking sites and instant-messaging.If you feel like you are being bullied, talk to anadult at home or at school right away to get theissue resolved quickly. No one has the right toridicule or harm you emotionally through thewords that they type on a screen and send on theinformation super highway.You have a right to be safeemotionally andphysically…period. Anyone who endangers thatis sending the wrong type of communication out!

The bottom line is that in order for you to besuccessful in life, you have to know how to communicate with others. Mastering the art of communication takes time and practice.Learning how to communicate one-on-one versus working with a team versus using technology to communicate involves quite alearning curve.

The hardest part of all is maintaining integrity by being responsible, respectful, caring,and fair people as we communicate. If we don’thave that integrity and understand how messages are perceived and conveyed in ourchanging society, we will do more harm than good.

Think before you speak. Think before you type and click send. Think before you share. Your character and integrity are on the line. Be a communicator of character in all that you say and do.

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A N I N T R O D U C T I O N T O RELATIONSHIPS

People of Character…in Relationships

We live our lives in circles. We have our immediate family, our extended family, our schoolfriends, our classmates, our neighborhood friends, our acquaintances, etc. Sometimes our circles overlap, but other times they don’t. The relationshipsthat we build within our “circles” vary based on theexperiences that we share with the people in each circle.

But what builds a relationship? A healthy andstrong relationship is built on trust. Trust isn’t something that just happens. It has to be nurturedand worked on every day.

Think of your best friend. Were you bestfriends the first day you met? Probably not.You more than likely knew that you enjoyedbeing around the person, but you weren’t

about to spill your deepest, darkest secrets withthat person on the first day of your friendship.You had to get to know him/her, share someexperiences together, and build a trust beforesharing and understanding could

happen. If you can’t trust someone, they probablyaren’t worth your time.

There are many types of relationships. The relationship you have with your parents is verydifferent than the relationship you have with closefriends. Relationships are forms of connectedness.

How connected you feel with another person depends mostly on interaction.The bond that you have with your momand dad should be different than the bondyou have with a close friend. Those

relationships are supposed to be different,and how a person builds a relationship iswhat makes the bonds weak or strong.

You may not see eye to eye with your parents all the time, but you are still bonded to them.You may have disagreements with your friends, butyou still share the bond of friendship.

Relationships in school take on many meanings.You have relationships with teachers, principals, andcounselors that are on a professional level. You havethe students you see in the hallway as acquaintances,but you really don’t know them as a person. You havethe students that you have class with each day.

You might sit next to someone or work with ateam for a project, but they may not be a closefriend. You have your core group of friends thatyou hang out with whenever you can. All ofthese relationships build your school environment. If any one of those relationships isout of whack, your day could go from fabulous tohorrible in a heartbeat. What’s funny about it allis that if one relationship is out of whack, quitepossibly one of your other relationships will bethe help you need to get your day back on track.Take the time to build solid relationships atschool, as you spend much of your day there.Knowing that you have people you can trust canmake all of the difference in your outlook on life.

It’s important to understand that we all havedifferences. Because we have differences, wecan learn from one another. People of characterare not biased or rude to other people. Instead,they take the high road and treat people withrespect, no matter what people around them say.This can be difficult when you decide to befriendthe new kid, the student who obviously doesn’thave any friends, or to come to the aid of someone who is being bullied or sexuallyharassed while your group of friends snickers inthe background. A person of character doesn’tstand by and let someone else do what is right.He/she knows what is right in a given situation,and will do whatever it takes to help someoneout. He/she is not caught up with social status,what people think of them, or how much moneysomeone has. He/she believes that being a person of character is about doing good things each day.

When you take the time tobuild relationships with thepeople in your life, you willbe connected to them in ahealthy and strong way.Connectedness is what holdsrelationships together, andpeople of character know

how to stay connected to oneanother. Choose your relationships wisely, and takethe time to build them to bestrong and healthy.

LIFE

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People of Character…in Decision Making

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. We make hundreds of decisions each day—from what toeat to what to wear to how to treat the kid you sitnext to on the bus or the lunchroom. Decisionsare everywhere. What you decide is entirely upto you.

Being a person of character means that asyou are making these hundreds of decisionseach day, you are asking yourself, “Am I keepingwhat is right at the forefront?”

Too many times it’s easy to get caught up inpeer pressure and the desire to belong to thegroup and not stick out. But it’s in those timesthat decision making is most important.

No one wants to stick out. It is a human’sdesire to belong to the group. But sometimesmaking a good decision means making a conscious choice to “stick out” and do what isgood and right for you.

There may be times in your life when youare offered drugs or alcohol by a peer. There areso many risks that are involved when you chooseto use drugs or alcohol. Your body is at a stageof development that it cannot handle suchthings—that is why it is illegal for you tosmoke, drink, or use drugs. Rules are madefor your safety, and should not be broken.Not only does the use of drugs or alcoholhurt your body, it impairs your judgmentand could lead you to make decisions thatyou will regret later.

Middle school is a time in your life whenyou begin to notice people of the oppositesex. Boys are suddenly cute or handsome, andgirls are suddenly beautiful and mysterious. This is when decision making is very important.Friendship is most important during this time inyour life. Becoming involved in aboyfriend/girlfriend relationship maynot be right for you. The choice isyours. There are more kids than notthat choose to be friends with kidsof the opposite sex and make aconscious decision to notbecome involved physically orsexually with another person.

When you become involved in a physical relationship withanother person, more decisions have to be made,

and quite frankly, your adolescentmind is not ready to make those decisions. So the best way to deal

with the opposite sex is to just befriends. Sometimes when theboyfriend/girlfriend thing is added intothe mix, it causes friendships to feelawkward and weird. Instead, try someof these things. Hang out with yourfriends at school. Go to the movies

together. Spend time going to sportingevents and cheering each other on. Join clubs orteams together and become active in service organizations. You’ll find that the time that you spendtogether will be way more fun!

People of character take decision making very seriously. How you choose to live your life is a directreflection of your character. The decisions you make

today impact your future.Make those decisionswisely.

RELATIONSHIPS

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SAY NO TO DRUGS

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People of Character…in Dealing with Change

Middle School is often a time of transition formany kids. You are no longer an elementary student,but you’re not yet in high school. It’s a time of exploration and trying to figure out who you really are. There are so many changes, that sometimes you probably feel like your head is just spinning!

You might be in a new school building or a different wing of your school. This new environmentmight feel daunting and overwhelming at first, but beassured that as you take the time to adjust to this newchange in your life, it will get better!

Maybe you have a new schedule to dealwith—going from having only a couple teachersto having more. That is going to take someadjusting as well. But probably the biggestchange is the shift in responsibility that comeswith being in the middle school or progressingthrough the grades in a middle school. Everyyear adds more responsibility. Your parentsexpect more of you. Your teachers expect moreof you. Your coaches expect more of you.Expectations get higher and higher.

On top of all of this, you are changing quite rapidly. This time in your life is called adolescence. There may be lots of ups anddowns in your mood—one minute you feel wonderful and ready to take on the world and thenext you’re ready to retreat and just be by yourself for awhile. Physically your body isdeveloping its way into adulthood, and with that,your body image is changing. Your voicechanges, the shape of your body changes, youare dealing with physical aspects of growing upthat seem awkward and sometimes embarrassing,and you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster! Mentally, you can’t wait to growup, but then again you might be scared to takeon the responsibility of what adulthood bringswith it. Guess what? All of this is normal. But it doesn’t make it any easier to handle everysingle day.

The changes that you see in your body andyour mind sometimes cause changes to happenin other aspects of your life. The relationshipsyou have with your friends and family probablywill change slightly. What is important

throughout it all is that you remember that people of character take the time to think

before they speak. Often times wesay things that we really don’tmean, and we end up hurting someone. Take the time to remember

that if you value the relationships thatyou have with your family and friends, you

will take the time to build those relationshipsevery single day and not take a day off! If the relationships you have with friends and familystay stable, dealing with the changes that arehappening elsewhere will be way easier!

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ENVIRONMEN

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People of Character…in Time Management

Do you feel like you’re always busy? Do youfeel like you’re always trying to juggle severalthings that you’re involved in just to keep yourhead above water?

Kids today are busy. It’s a fact of life in our society. The toughest part is finding balance inyour life as a young teenager. You need timewith your friends, time for your activities, timewith your family, and most importantly, time foryou. Carving out enough time for each of thoseaspects of your life is difficult, but it can be donewell if you plan for it!

You have been given a great tool for time management—this planner! Your teachers andyour parents expect you to use it, but your planner isn’t about them—it’s about you! If youlearn to use your planner well now, you will setyourself up for success. Many adults today useeither paper or electronic planners every singleday to stay organized. They are busy, too, andwhen you’re a parent, not only do you haveyour own schedule to keep straight, but youhave your entire family’s schedule to keeporganized as well! If you begin a good habitof keeping a good planner now, your lifelater on will be much easier.

So how can you use this planner? The obvious thing is to use it to writedown your assignments and keep track of homework, but it’s way more than that. You should have your entire life inthat planner. It’s not just forschool. If you have soccerpractice on Tuesday night from5:30-6:30, it should be in your planner. If you have drama practice on Monday andWednesday right after school, thatshould be written in as well. If Thursday night is piano lessons,make sure you’ve got it in your planner. If you have a family dinner with your grandparents onFriday night, write it in.

That way you’ll know that if your friend asks you tothe movies, you’ll have to decline as your familyalready has your time for that evening. It’s a matter ofusing this tool to stay organized!

When you have your entire “life” in your planner,you are able to see the big picture. You can see theweek-at-a-glance and know how your evenings will bespent, and therefore, you might want to make everyeffort to use every minute in school efficiently so thatyou don’t have homework. There’s a reason why it’scalled a planner—it’s meant to help you plan ahead sothat you use your time in and out of school effectively!

Above all, don’t forget to plan time for you. Everyminute of every day does not have to be planned. In order for your mind and body to stay balanced, youneed “down” time. Be sure to schedule time for youto do things that you enjoy—perhaps reading a book,writing in a journal, listening to your favorite music onyour MP3 player, visiting your favorite websites, etc.By taking some time for you, you will be better able todeal with the stress that sometimes comes with beinga kid today!

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H A N D L I N G STRESSPeople of Character…in Dealing with Stress

Is being a middle school student stressful? There are lots of middle school students who feelstressed every day.

There’s the pressure to do well in school and getgood grades for yourself and also to please parents.With this pressure comes the stress of more homework than was had in elementary school. It’s expected as you grow and develop mentally, youneed to be challenged to think in more diverse ways, therefore, with each year in school comes higherexpectations from teachers. And then several times a year, stress levels rise in your schools asit’s time to take the tests for chapters or state/nationalassessments. All of thiscould stress a personout…and this is justfrom school.

What about outsideof academics? There’sstress that can comefrom friends and dealing with “middleschool drama.” You know what this is—this person isn’t talking to that person because he said this or she said that, and the group that you hang out with is getting all upsetand talking about it which causes evenmore stress so now no one is talkingto anyone. Or when someone starts arumor about a person and it truly doesend up hurting the person that it isabout because it wasn’t true in the firstplace. A person of character will choosenot to take part in the “drama.” They takethe high road and live the Golden Rule—Dounto others as you would have them do to you. No one wants to be hurt emotionally or physically. Do your best to keep hurt from happening to yourself or others.

Family life can also cause stress in your life.There are so many types of families these days. There are traditional family units, but there arelots of kids that are shuffled between parents onweekends or during the week, which makes ithard to have continuity in life. The biggest thingto remember is to figure out what works for yourfamily. Celebrate the relationships that you havewith your family, and try not to let your emotionscontrol you. People of character take each day asit comes and try to figure out how to do something good with that day. Yelling at your little sister or your mom isn’t going to fix anything. Exhibit some self-control, share your

feelings when you are having a good orbad day, and act in appropriate

ways. You will be lessstressed and better able todeal with family stressors.

Taking time for yourselfis a great way to relievestress. You need downtimeevery day to decompress and

reflect on your day. This timealone allows your mind and

body to get the rest it needs. Youneed to rest your world so that you

can take on a new day tomorrow.Along with downtime, a regular

exercise program is a greatstress reliever. Remember,

schedule thattime for you.Your mindand bodywill thank you

for beingrespectful and

responsible to yourself, and your stress levels will decrease!

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G L O B A L CITIZENPeople of Character…in Being a Global Citizen

Being a person of character is far more than justbeing respectful, responsible, caring, and fair. It’sabout taking all of those things and putting them intoaction by being a good citizen.

We live in a global society. Goods and servicesare traded all over the world every single day. The risein the use of the Internet has expanded the availabilityof products by the click of a mouse. We are connectedto people worldwide through technology, but there areother ways that we can be connected.

Being a global citizen means that you are awareand see the impact of your personal decisions on yoursurroundings. Taking the time to care about your ownschool, city, state, nation and world means that everyday is an opportunity to bring about change.

One of the first decisions youhave is to take the privilege of aneducation seriously. The education that you are receivingis not something that all kidsyour age in the world have. Plugin to your education every singleday. Taking the time to value youreducation increases your impact onthe world. An educated mind ispriceless. An educated mind canmake solid decisions and make adifference in the world.

Maybe your global impactwill be to be valiant in yourefforts to preserve the Earth.Championing recycling in yourneighborhood and school could bea start. Reducing your global impactby making choices that reduce ourconsumption of fossil fuels could benext. If the world is not taken careof today, the Earth will not be thesame for your children. Be proactive today by being a globalcitizen and caring about the Earth.You are the future and the futureneeds you to step up and encourageconservation and global citizenship!

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“Step up” to Citizenship*Instructions: Citizens impact the world with their personal decisions.Take a minute to fill in the staircase with things that you can do to impacteach of the communities in which you are a member. Remember, everyday is an opportunity for good citizens to bring about change!

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