Michael Fitzgerald

I earned a BA in English in 2007 from Missouri State University, and it is a degree and experience that I cherish. Like many English majors, I always aspired to be a writer, but I always enjoyed writing songs more than stories or poetry. I’ve always felt that with songs, you can combine the two art forms together to create something that defies explanation and is open to interpretation. Currently, I play music in the Saint Louis, MO area as a one-man act armed with an acoustic guitar, harmonicas, and a voice. The most important thing I’ve learned about writing and teaching this last semester in WB’s class has been about my last musical weapon: voice. To me it is the most important thing in both writing and teaching – students need to be able to find and have their own voice and teachers should do everything they can to create environments where they can do so.

“Without a voice, we’d all just be mumbling to ourselves. Unless, of course, you’re diagnosed with a psychological disorder of some kind, which might mean it’s acceptable

to do so.”Michael Fitzgerald

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”Mark Twain

“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.

E.B. White

I-SearchWorking Title: TeachingMichael FitzgeraldFinal DraftMarch 11, 2010

“Know thyself.” – Socrates

He turned up his head and shook it at the ceiling, “Well, on your website it says

this record is $10.99!”

“I understand that, sir, but sometimes the online prices differ from the in-store

prices. If you would like, I can order it for you and have it shipped for free so you can

save that dollar.”

I couldn’t help myself. It’s a ridiculous thing to argue about. A dollar. One

measly dollar. A pack of gum. A soda. And sure I could’ve knocked the dollar off the

CD, but it had been a long holiday season, and I was tired. Tired of this constant battle

with strangers over dollars and cents. Tired of everyone wanting a handout or a deal.

Tired of greed.

It’s not like I didn’t get it. I got paid less than I was worth to this store. My back

hurt, my knees ached. I felt older than I deserved to feel. Saving money – trying to

afford the liberty of buying things you wanted. I got it.

He scanned me up and down, looking at my ruffled and un-tucked flannel and my

jeans torn at one knee. He stared at my face I hadn’t shaved in over a week and looked

down at my worn-out tennis shoes with the rubber peeling off of the sides. “Well, I’d

like to speak to a manager!”

“Well, you’re speaking to him right now, sir. Is there anything else I can do for

you?” I have to admit, I really did enjoy that part. The “stick-it-to-em” part.

“Fine! I’m never shopping at this (expletive) store again! You just lost yourself a

valuable customer!” He turned and began to walk out the front door in a huff.

“Okay. Have a nice day!” I said every word with all the sarcasm in my bones

and breathed a sigh of relief as I walked back to the loading dock – an Inventory

Supervisor’s Fortress of Solitude, if you will.

And I immediately felt like a dick. I didn’t enjoy doing it – well, I did a little –

but in a lot of ways it was the only freedom I had left. And that was the saddest thing. I

didn’t have the worst life by any means, but I hated my job.

I hated that I had a college degree and that my only post-college accomplishment

was making $11 an hour as a supervisor at a book, CD, and DVD retail chain where

people screamed at me for denying them a deal. I hated that I had been scammed at least

50 times in the past two years over fraudulent returns. I hated that I picked up DVD and

CD security devices at least once a day because someone took the time they could have

been looking for a job to pay for such things to rip us off. At first it didn’t feel like

anything, but after two years at this company, I now felt like they were ripping me off. It

felt like they didn’t give a flying (excuse my language) about what I went through

because of, and for, them.

And this wasn’t even the moment I decided things would change. But it didn’t

really hurt my case for going back to school to be certified as a teacher.

I have worked in retail since I was old enough to work. At 16, I just wanted some

extra cash. At 20, I did it to pay my rent and my college expenses. At 23, I couldn’t find

another job and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my Bachelor of Arts in English.

Maybe I should have gone back to school then, but the past is the past and I was where I

was. And now I am where I am – 26 years old and still in retail. Ten years in a certain

work environment is a long time. Ten years of customers complaining. Ten years of

“That’s supposed to be…”, and “Why don’t you have…”, and “I’m never…”, and “Are

you sure?” Ten years of doubt, negativity, angst, and greed. Ten years of being

underestimated and overworked. A DECADE of being torn down – you might even say a

GENERATION.

These kinds of things will do terrible things to a person. My doctor recently told

me I had high blood pressure – not astronomically high, but high enough. He asked me if

I felt stressed out. I answered with a holy crap kind of yes. An absolutely, matter-of-fact

kind of yes.

Two months prior to the “dollar incident,” I decided to go back to college to

receive a Teacher Certification. I applied, got federal aid, bought a new notebook and

two pens – one blue and one black. This was November of 2009. Then, January 18,

2010 hit me like a sack of bricks followed by a sack of quarter rolls. It was the first day

of the first week of classes, and I immediately thought, “What in the hell am I doing

here?”

It might be very easy for someone outside of my situation to assume that I was

supposed to know the answer to this almighty question from the beginning. But it was a

split-second, last-ditch decision, which to be perfectly honest was the way I made all of

my important life decisions. My immediate answer to the question in the beginning was

three-fold: I didn’t want to work in retail anymore, I wanted to have a schedule that

didn’t include nights, weekends, and some major holidays, and I didn’t want to panhandle

downtown on the weekends. These were the simple answers – the go-to answers – when

my friends and family asked me “Why?” in that period between November 2009 and

January 18, 2010. But I now had to figure out the real response – the one that didn’t

involve pay grades or Saturdays and Sundays off. Luckily, Donna Wadsworth-Brown

asked me to write this very paper. The paper you are so diligently reading right now.

She asked me to pose a question I wanted the answer to, and to search for the

solution using my own intellect along with various sources – including authorities on the

subject. So this is the question. Why does anyone want to be a teacher, and why, oh

why, did I?

To find my answer, I decided to use all the resources I currently had at my

disposal – teacher’s education books that dealt with everything from adolescent

psychology to the cultural and social presence of the teacher in society. Two of these

texts were Teaching to Change the World and Adolescent Behavior. These texts would

help me figure out the role my new career would play in society, and they would provide

a reference for what kinds of minds I might be molding. I hoped they would ultimately

help me decipher what kind of teacher I wanted to be and what role I wanted to inhabit as

an educator. I would also search the scholarly articles, the websites, and the endless other

resources about teaching and teachers, and hope to figure out what this group of people –

these educators – cared about. And lastly, I would scrape and prod at the minds of

friends who were already teachers, as well as extended family members in the profession.

What led them to this career? What did they think about their jobs? What kind of

experiences did they deal with on a day to day basis? And why did they keep going back

every day? Why did they want to be a teacher?

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...” – Charles Dickens

I was having issues. I was having issues finding time to interview people for this

particular paper. With working 40 hours a week at very different times – some days I

opened the store at 6:00 a.m., other days I worked from 11:00 a.m. till 7:30 p.m., and

typically every Friday and Saturday I closed the store till 10:30 p.m. – and going to

school at night for 11 hours a week, plus the homework that came with those 11 hours, I

had zero time for anything really. My first college experience had been a bit different –

let’s just say if my studying time and fun time had gotten into a fight, fun time would

have whooped studying time’s butt. Fun time would be holding studying time in a

headlock, giving him ultimate noogies for eternity.

I explained all of this to DWB, or Donna Wadsworth-Brown, and she kindly

threw me a bone. The bone being Diane Scollay. Not that Diane is a bone or…yeah…I

know – it’s a terrible and trite simile. These happen from time to time.

“We were young and thin together,” Diane says with a knowing smile of her time

with DWB. Apparently, Diane and DWB have known each other the entirety of their

teaching careers, which adds up to around 40 years of educating.

“It’s the most important thing you can do,” says Diane, a woman who reminds me

slightly of a friend of mine’s mother – she has the demeanor of a very serious and

professional person, but underneath that you see a slight sardonic sense of humor. I

imagine she can be very cutting and funny if she wants to be. I’m immediately thinking

that I would enjoy this person’s class, and that I can’t wait to hear her answer to the

almighty question. The question this paper has been taunting you with for the last four

and a half pages. So I ask it.

“So Diane…what led you to this career? Why did you want to be a teacher?”

She laughs a little and kind of dips her head towards the ground into a thinking position,

and then quickly changes, moving it towards the ceiling as if to ask the Gods if they can

remember. But what do the Gods know about teaching? And if they did know anything,

why did THEY choose to teach it?

“I have no idea.”

Okay. I’m a rational person. I realize things are never just cut and dry or black

and white, so I figured this could be a response to my question. Everybody WANTS to

be plenty of things. I’m sure some people dream of being teachers. I used to want to be

an astronaut when I was little – just like every other red-blooded American boy. I have a

friend that is 28, overweight, and out of shape, and yet, he still wants to be a marine. I’m

just saying not everybody keeps their dream, and some people, maybe they hold on too

long. And some of us, well…some of us are just like Diane, who incidentally is very

much like me. Sometimes we just accidentally find ourselves doing what we’re supposed

to do.

“I had an English Major and didn’t know what to do with it, so I thought, ‘I’ll do

this till something better comes along.’ I liked the literature. The material. I was

passionate about it and I still am. But… it was the kids that made me stay…sorry. I get

misty sometimes.” Diane flicks the first signs of tears from her eyes, and it’s strange and

funny to me that she does this (not funny in a HAHA way, but a sweet way), because she

doesn’t seem like the kind of person who tears up a lot. And I don’t want to imply that

Diane is hard or cold. She just seems like a person that comes with a great deal of

confidence and strength. And also, I get the mild impression that she could kick the crap

out of me if she really wanted to…or at least make me feel very stupid after epically

destroying me in a very short battle of wits.

“Passion eventually runs out, though. You can’t run entirely on passion. I think

the question is, ‘Why do you stay?’ I stayed for the kids and to teach teaching better. I

wanted to prepare teachers of the future better than I was prepared…there are always new

ideas being presented about teaching, and you have to be a lifelong learner, but never a

master of anything.”

“Because things are always changing, always evolving?”

“Yes. You really have to be a self-starter, especially with No Child Left Behind

(NCLB).” Diane is referring to the education reform set up by the Bush administration a

couple of years back. Unfortunately, the only things NCLB has changed about education

are the standards. In some cases, they’ve gotten lower. Diane tells me that right now the

formulaic approaches to teaching are being rewarded – teachers following the standards

and getting the scores are receiving the funding.

“You know the fastest way to get scores up? Drop the percentages for

proficiency.” I was already aware of NCLB, but hearing Diane’s words made me think

about it a little deeper. Teachers are making sure kids are getting the right scores because

they don’t want to get fired. They want to have a job, but they are unable to do that job

to the best of their ability. Their creativity and their students’ creativity are stifled by

these standards.

And I’m aware that there are bad teachers, but I don’t think they’re bad people –

well, some of them might be, but for the sake of argument let’s say they’re just like you

and me, and let’s also say you and I are good people (I’m pretty sure I’m good, but I have

no clue about you.). This is their job, and its money in their pocket. What would you

do? Probably the same thing. I’m pretty sure I would – or at least I’d try to – fulfill the

requirements, while hopefully trying to make certain that my students were also

exceeding them and doing their best possible work. Or I might stand on Capital Hill with

a blowtorch and the NCLB “standards” and go nuts. It would really depend on the day

I’m having.

But all this talk with Diane really had nothing to do with flash fires and

government documents – in the deepest part of me, it was about what kind of teacher I

might want to be. I think everything we do – whether it is a so-called “selfless” act or not

– is something we begin out of a selfish desire or need inside. And I don’t really think

that’s a bad thing. We should all want to do things to better ourselves in life. There’s

always an ulterior motive. It may only be as evil as (to make myself an example)

wanting to do something else with your life, but there’s always something there, hiding,

right beneath the surface. And I had committed a rather selfish act by deciding I was

going to be a teacher. I wasn’t thinking about students or what it might feel like to help

them learn something – I was thinking about me. I was thinking about weekends off,

summers at the lake, and barbecuing on Sunday. I can’t tell you how many Sunday

barbecues I’ve missed in the last three years. The number is at least 600 by now.

Diane’s words struck a chord in me. You could call it a C Major chord – C for

CRAP. This wasn’t just about what I wanted. I’d be responsible for other people. And

while it put a fear in me the size of a canoe, I did feel like I could handle that

responsibility. I didn’t want to lower the bar for students. I wanted them to excel. I felt

myself flinch a little in that moment. I cared about this. I cared about being a teacher.

Did it matter why?

Jazz/Blues Poetry UnitEnglish Language Arts 10th gradeWhat’s at the Bottom of Your Soul?Michael FitzgeraldSpring 2010

Overview

The Rationale: The purpose of this plan is to relate the course content (On the Road) to another literary form (poetry) to enhance the significance of the text and gain interest from the students by linking the lesson with music and personal exploration. Students will create meaning by writing their own creative piece and applying the narrative and poetic styles of the examples presented in class. They will also evaluate their peers’ work to get a sense of editing and discussing creative writing.

The Summary: Students will be introduced to Jazz/Blues poetry in coordination with their readings of the text On the Road by Jack Kerouac. We will discuss some examples of this type of poetry and the individuals associated with it (Langston Hughes, the Beats). They will be required to begin writing a poem or short personal narrative that relates to the styles represented in the unit. The creative piece must include exploration of setting, a personal journey/adventure, and be autobiographical in nature. The use of creative non-fiction will be allowed, or stretching the truth.

Objectives: Relate course content (On the Road) to other literary form (poetry), create meaning through writing and application, evaluate peers

Length of Curriculum: One Week

Materials and Resources: On the Road Examples and handouts of poetry (see “The Weary Blues”)

Means of Assessment: Writing Assignment – 60 points Class Participation – 10 points per day Total Points – 90 points

Heading Sophomore Language Arts Jazz/Blues Poetry UnitDay 1 Michael Fitzgerald

Objectives Relate course content (On the Road) to other literary form (poetry), create meaning through writing and application, evaluate peers

InstructionalFramework

Initiating Constructing Utilizing

Lesson PlanFormat

Teacher DirectedPresentation – Intro to Jazz/Blues poetry and poets.

Student DirectedDiscussion of presented material involving the entire class.

Grouping Whole Class Small Group Pairs IndividualsMaterials & Resources

Teacher – Examples and handoutsStudent – Class Text, On the Road

Strategy Quote of the Week; Quick WriteReview PreviousLessons

Opening 10 Minutes – Do Now/Bell Ringer“Time stops. He’s filling empty space with the substance of our lives, confessions of his belly-bottom strain, remembrance of ideas…He has to blow across bridges and come back and do it with such infinite feeling soul-exploratory for the tune of the moment that everybody knows it’s not the tune that counts but IT…” – from On the Road by Kerouac

Student Quick Write – What is Kerouac talking about in this quote? What is IT?

New Material

Middle 25 minutes - Actual LessonIntroduction to Jazz and Blues poetry

Langston Hughes – “The Weary Blues”, “Mulatto” Teacher Performance! of “The Weary Blues” to music Introduce Poetry/Narrative Writing Assignment - Handout

Guided Practice

10 minutesGuided Discussion

What do you think about this type of poetry? How does it relate to music and rhythm?

Closure toLesson

5 minutesClass questions about new material and poetry assignment

Assignment for Tomorrow

5 minutesWritten Reaction/Reflection to Jazz poetry examples in class and in readingContinue reading On the Road

Planning the LessonDelivering the LessonHeading Sophomore Language Arts Jazz/Blues Poetry

Unit Day 2 Michael Fitzgerald

Objectives Relate course content (On the Road) to other literary form (poetry), create meaning through writing and application, evaluate peers

InstructionalFramework

Initiating Constructing Utilizing

Lesson PlanFormat

Teacher DirectedPresentation – Continued discussion of Jazz/Blues poets, examples of modern use in music and literature

Student DirectedCooperative Groups – work together to come up with modern examples of this use of rhythm or influence

Grouping Whole Class Small Group Pairs IndividualsMaterials & Resources

Teacher – Examples and handoutsStudent – Class Text, On the Road

Strategy Link and ThinkReview PreviousLessons

Opening 10 Minutes – Do Now/Bell RingerDiscuss and turn in journal entriesQuick Write/Brainstorm - “How does this type of poetry relate to you and your lives?”

New Material

Middle 25 minutes - Actual LessonContinued presentation of Jazz/Blues poets

The Beats Jack Kerouac Allen Ginsberg – “Howl”

Examples Jazz/Blues music played in class to relate to content

Guided Practice

10 minutesSmall group work involving coming up with examples of modern use and how poetry and music is in their own lives

Closure toLesson

5 minutesPresent and discuss group findings/conclusionsQuestions about writing assignment

Assignment for Tomorrow

5 minutesFirst draft due of writing assignmentContinue reading On the Road

Planning the LessonDelivering the LessonHeading Sophomore Language Arts Jazz/Blues Poetry

Unit Day 3 Michael Fitzgerald

Objectives Relate course content (On the Road) to other literary form (poetry), create meaning through writing and application, evaluate peers

InstructionalFramework

Initiating Constructing Utilizing

Lesson PlanFormat

Teacher DirectedDirect Instruction – instruct and evaluate student groups on editing, student-run reviews

Student DirectedCooperative Groups – form groups for editing of first draft of student poetry pieces

Grouping Whole Class Small Group Pairs Individuals

Materials & Resources

Teacher – Examples and handoutsStudent – Class Text, On the Road

Strategy RAFT;PQPReview PreviousLessons

Opening 10 Minutes – Do Now/Bell RingerThoughts and discussion about poems and discuss any issues with first draft assignmentRAFT Strategy – Ask students to examine their own and peers’ writing on these principles (Role, Audience, Format, Topic)

New Material

Middle 25 minutes - Actual LessonForm groups and begin editing process

Constructive criticism Grammar Meaning

Guided Practice

10 minutesPraise/Question/Polish

Closure toLesson

5 minutesTime for questions concerning final draft of poem

Assignment for Tomorrow

5 minutesFinal Draft of writing assignment due

Planning the LessonDelivering the Lesson

The Weary Blues

Langston Hughes

(1923)

1          Droning a drowsy syncopated tune, 2          Rocking back and forth to a mellow croon, 3              I heard a Negro play. 4          Down on Lenox Avenue the other night 5          By the pale dull pallor of an old gas light 6              He did a lazy sway .... 7              He did a lazy sway .... 8          To the tune o' those Weary Blues. 9          With his ebony hands on each ivory key 10        He made that poor piano moan with melody. 11            O Blues! 12        Swaying to and fro on his rickety stool 13        He played that sad raggy tune like a musical fool. 14            Sweet Blues! 15        Coming from a black man's soul. 16            O Blues! 17        In a deep song voice with a melancholy tone 18        I heard that Negro sing, that old piano moan-- 19            "Ain't got nobody in all this world, 20            Ain't got nobody but ma self. 21             I's gwine to quit ma frownin' 22             And put ma troubles on the shelf." 23        Thump, thump, thump, went his foot on the floor. 24        He played a few chords then he sang some more-- 25            "I got the Weary Blues 26            And I can't be satisfied. 27            Got the Weary Blues 28            And can't be satisfied-- 29            I ain't happy no mo' 30            And I wish that I had died." 31        And far into the night he crooned that tune. 32        The stars went out and so did the moon. 33        The singer stopped playing and went to bed

34        While the Weary Blues echoed through his head. 35        He slept like a rock or a man that's dead.

What’s at theWhat’s at the Bottom of Your Soul?Bottom of Your Soul?In addition to Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, we are going to discuss the American poetry and music described by Kerouac throughout much of the novel.

Kerouac viewed writing as an expression of the soul, something coming from deep down in the very pit of his stomach, exploding like a sea of fireworks on the fourth of July onto the page. His journey and those of his characters and their experiences with music, people, work, and the American landscape brought this writing out. More than anything, his writing was about reliving the experience and sharing the very soul of the simplest things on his journey.

So tell me, what’s at the bottom of your soul?what’s at the bottom of your soul?

Narrative/ Poetry AssignmentAs part of our class discussions on this era of literature and On the Road, I would like you to explore the landscape of your surroundings, as well as your minds. Tell me about your journey! Tell me your story! You may do this in either the form of narrative or poetry. There are no length requirements, but as always, write until you’ve told your story!

And for you “funny people,” this does not mean writing, “I played Call of Duty all day and unlocked a new gun add-on.”

Your writing should: Include some exploration of your geographical location/setting (What

is happening around you? What do you see, hear, touch, feel, and how do these things affect you?)

Tell me about your own journey or adventure Be autobiographical in some way (creative non-fiction is always

recommended)

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” – Mark Twainyou please.” – Mark Twain

If you are doing this in either form (poetry or narrative): Think about using the writing style of On the Road to frame your

poem’s or narrative’s style and voiceOR Use the poetry examples we’ve discussed in class as guidelines or

templates. Utilize other poetry by keeping the structure, but filling in the blanks with your own writing.

Have fun with this! This is something that is about you, so make it writing you can be proud of!

“Time stops. He’s filling empty space with the substance of our“Time stops. He’s filling empty space with the substance of our lives, confessions of his belly-bottom strain, remembrance oflives, confessions of his belly-bottom strain, remembrance of

ideas…He has to blow across bridges and come back and do itideas…He has to blow across bridges and come back and do it with such infinite feeling soul-exploratory for the tune of thewith such infinite feeling soul-exploratory for the tune of the

moment that everybody knows it’s not the tune that counts butmoment that everybody knows it’s not the tune that counts but IT…” – Jack KerouacIT…” – Jack Kerouac

Narrative/Poetry Assignment Rubric

Grammar/ Spelling

Multiple spelling, grammar

errors

10

Few grammar

and spelling errors

20

No grammar

or spelling errors

30

30

Actual writing and relevance to

assignment

Poem or narrative is incomplete

or lacks imaginatio

n, deep thought,

and original

voice

10

Poem or narrative

is complete but not lacks

original voice and exploratio

n of setting

20

Poem or narrative is

well-thought, original,

interesting, imaginative

, and includes

exploration of setting

30

30

TOTAL 60