Men and women.doc

7/28/2019 Men and women.doc

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Men and women

How familiar are you with such dialogues?

And whos who?Whos the man and whos the women?

A: You never agree with anything I say !B: What do you mean by never ?I have just agreed with the last two issues.

A: You always have another opinion and you are the only one whos always right!

B: Its not true !I dont have always another opinion. For instance last evening we had the same

opinion and also last evening and last Saturady , too, so you cant say that I always have anotheropinion.

A: You say the same every time I talk about this subject.

B: That is a lie! I dont say this every time!A: And you caress me only when you want us to make love.

B: Dont overreact !Not only when

Another dialogue

A: We never go out to a restaurant

B: Thats not true !We went out last week.

A: Everybody ignores me!B: Im sure some people pay attention to you.

A: Im so tired I cant do anything.

B: If you dont like the job, quit !A: The house is a mess all the time !

B: Its not a mess all the time !

A: Nobody listen to me anymore!B: But Im just listening to you!

A: Nothing works out!

B: Are you blaming me?

A: You dont love me anymore!B: How come? Thats why Im here!

A: We are always in a hurry!

B: Thats not true !On Friday we were restful!A: I want more romanticism!

B: Do you mean Im not romantic enough?

You can easily notice how a world by-world interpretation of the womens words can actually lead the

mean to a misinterpretation because the man is accustomed to use the language as a mean to pass on

only actions and information. We can notice as well how the mans answers can lead to an argument.


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When men and women are about to argue it usually means that they misunderstand each other. In such

circumstances it is important for them to reconsider and interpret what they have heard.

Confusing and affection-lacking communication represent the greatest problem of human relationships.

Differences

Left hemisphere cordoned Right hemisphere cordonedthe right side of human body the left side of human body

Mathematics CreativitySpeech Artistic

Logics Visual

Facts IntuitionDeduction Ideas

Analysis Imagination

Practicality Perspective viewOrder The melody of a song

Words of a song Global image

Framework Perception

Very accurate Spacial orientationDetails detection Multiple processing

In 1995,at Yales University a scientist team lead by dr. Bennett and dr. Sally Shaywitz made some testson different men and women in order to establish what part of the brain is used to match words in

lyrics.Using RMN(Magnetic Resonance Imaging) to detect minor changes of blood circulation in

different parts of the brain, they confirmed the fact men use mostly the left side of the brain.Unfortunately,nowadays we live in a social environment in which may people insists that we are all the

same despite the mountain of evidence showing that we are different programmed and we have evolved

with variate innate capacities and inclinations!

Why women are well connected?


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The right and left hemisphere are connected through a series of nerves named corpus calossum .This

network makes one part of the brain communicate with the other part hence the exchange of

information being allowed.

Try to imagine you have two computers on your sholders and they are connected through a singleinterface. This would be corpus calossum.

Roger Gorski, neurologist from the Californian University of Los Angeles confirmed that ,in fact ,the

womens brain has a thicker corpus callosum that the mans ,women having over 30% more linksbetween the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere.He also proved that the man and women use

different parts of the brain for speech ,whilst women use both left and right side .These experiments as

well as countless other researches made in the 90s has abarly pointed out to the same conclusion: mensbrain function differently from the womens .

Girls Boys

The left side of the brain developsmore rapidly than the boys.

She speaks sooner and better than her brother.

She reads sooner.She learns more rapidly foreign language.

More speech disordersThe right side of the brain

develops rapidly

Better logical orientantionand perception skills.

He excels in math, puzzle

games construction and

problems solving wayahead of girls.

One may think the intersexual differences are minor or irrelevant ,but the evidences dont sustain thisperspective.

Why men can do only one thing at a time ?

All the researches we benefit agree that as far as men are concerned ,the brain is specialized .Divided.

Mens brain is made up to focus on accurate ,precise tasks and the majority of them will tell you they

can do only one thing on a time .When the man stops the car to see the name of the street ,what does hedo with the radio? He turns it off.

The majority of women dont understand why they do that. Women can read while they listen and they

can also speak at the same time. Why cant he do it? Why does he want to turn off the Tv when the

telephone rings?


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The answer is that the mans brain is so divided to make only one thing at a time because there are

fewer connections between the right and the left hemisphere through corpus calosssum.

These findings have been confirmed by scientists all over the world.

Researches have also revealed that the female estrogen hormone stimulates the development of thenerve cells enhancing the connection between the two hemispheres. They also show that the more

connections have developed the more fluent speech is. This also explains womens ability to execute at

one time more unrelated things.As we have discussed ,therefore, the women is better equipped in terms of sensory, through that

multiple connections being able to perform a more rapid transfer of information between hemispheres

deliver quick and clear judgments about different people and situation on an intuitive level as well.The womens brain is so divided that she can do many things at a time. These things may well have no

connection and still the brain continues to work without interruption .She can talk on the phone

,cooking at the same time a new recipe and watch TV, too.If a men shaves and you talk to him ,surely he will cut himself.

As women use both sides of the brain ,many of them find it difficult to distinguish the right from the

left hand. About 50% of women cant distinguish between the right and the left hand without looking at

a ring or a watch.

Women regard change as it follows

They turn to other people, they speak, they try

to find ways to make the change.

They take time to say goodbye (they might get trapped in this middle

phase).They slowly build a new beginning.

They picture the future through words and images.

They pass onto the change of perspective after everything has beenexplained.

They express their emotions and it is easier for them to be emotionally

mobile and flexible.They usually need to enhance self-awareness.

Men regard change as it follows:

They take action.

They pass over the farewell phase and they take charge of the transition

phase.They rapidly move towards a new beginning (after

they have involved).

They give an example instead of explaining.They get more naturally to a self-confidence feeling.

.


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Mistakes women make during changes:

They talk too much

They waste time suffering for what they have lost.They forget to think of them and their needs.

They analyze things from different perspectives and notice

more opportunities.

What men think:

That she tries to put it off.

That she is wick and inflexible.

That it is irrelevant for what is needed at the time.That she is too emotional. She would better get over it.

If she needs something, she will let me know.

She is reluctant. Why doesnt she choose an option and put it inaction?

Mistakes men make during changes:

They forget to identify or to say goodbye from what they lose

by changing.

They take action without thinking of consequences.They follow the first path that comes to their mind.

They expect try again if the first attempt failsWhat women think:

Men dont have feelings .Where is he going.

Why doesnt he look into thingsWhy hasnt he thought first?


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How to approach a change?

He needs to be reminded that

She needs time to suffer and to talk about the loss the change brings.

She may get stuck thinking of what to do during the changes.

She may forget to think of her own needs while helping the others during changes.

She has an artistic vision about the future.

For her it is easier to be creative during changes.

He mustnt

Say: Everything will be alright. Why worry?Take action without telling her why and without taking into account her reactions.

Consider she will tell him in case she needs anything.

Expect her to follow him without having previously talked to her.

Ignore her solutions.

She needs to be reminded that

When changes occur, men need to take action.

If she needs support, she would better ask for it.

Sometimes it is better to just follow him and then ask for his motives.If he makes many things at a time it doesnt mean he doesnt listen to her.

He is not used to watch all the time the person whom he speaks to.

She mustnt

Consider him insensitive.

Assume he knows what she needs.Tell him that it is wrong to take action immediately after changes.

Expect him to spend a lot of time talking to his friends when opportunity strikes.

Get upset if he looks into a different direction during an important conversation.

Remember!

Each gender has a natural style that comes in hand when approaching changes.

It is likely that women should ask for help, search the possible options and regard

change in a less structured way. Men are prone to act and prefer traditional solutions and structure.

It is ok to borrow some of the opposite genders attitudes, but it is difficult to

always behave against your nature.

If you know your style as well as the opposite genders style you will be able to


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understand the other one and to better communicate.

Men, women and changes along the life circles

Change may have various meanings in different life ages. Men and women regard

themselves differently as they go along the years. Let us look at ourselves with a smile:

Age A woman looks at herself in the

mirror

A man looks at himself in the mirror

8 She sees a fairytale princess. He sees a sports hero.

15 She sees herself fat/ with freckles/

clumsy/and she wants to stay in.

He sees a young man; he wishes he

were older, more mature.

20 She sees herself fat/ with freckles/

clumsy, but she goes out.

He sees somebody the world is

waiting for, somebody young and

strong, whom future awaits for.

30 She dislikes what she sees but she

is too busy to care.

He sees successes and focuses on

promoting in life , career, etc.

40 She dislikes what she sees, but she

says to herself: At least I am

clean and she goes out.

He sees less hair , white hairs, and

starts looking for something else but

he doesnt really know what that is.

50 She sees a woman and goes to liveher life.

He sees gray hair and says to himselfhe would better do something fast

before everything comes to an end.

60 She sees a woman and says to

herself: If only they saw me

know.

He sees only gray hair, thinks he has

a last opportunity in life and enjoys

its sweetness.

70 She is happy to see a living

woman who breathes and enjoys

life.

He is happy is he sees a little hair,

thinks Let by goners be by goners

and starts enjoying himself.80 She puts a flower in her hair and

goes out to have fun.

He is amazed he is still alive, spends

a lot of time thinking of the past and

still enjoys his hair.

90 She cannot see well, so why

worry!

He doesnt look in the mirror

anymore, he spends a lot of time


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sleeping, and in his dreams he has

still got hair.

Men, women, changes and love affairs

Men and women regard themselves even more differently in terms of love affairs.

Therefore it is no wonder that sometimes we seem not to be able to ever come together.

Age A womans love life A mans love life

8 She doesnt care about the boys. He hates girls.

15 She likes boys and tries to figure

out what they really want.

He is interested in girls, but he is

afraid of them.

20 Men fight over her attention. He likes girls and isnt fearful

anymore.

30 She hears the biological clock

ticking.

Women want him now.

40 It is the last change for her to find

the chosen one.

Women want him even more now.

50 She feels the warmth of young

women.

He rules the social life arena.

60 She understands the reasons why

women get down to plastic

surgery.

He feels he wants to bond to a certain

woman.

70 She would like to find a man who

could drive at night.

He is happy to be with any woman.

80 She would like to find a man who

could drive.

He is happy to be with anybody else.

90 She is happy if she can walk. He is happy to be.

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