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Lopa Nath Due: September 13, 2009Memoir Mr. Foley English 15

The bright lights glared in my face as I stepped over the knee height barrier and onto the slippery

white playing field. Our second match of the game and our robot had failed to initialize. We were given a

chance to find and fix the problem before the match was restarted. Being the captain and the drive team

coach I found myself alone on the field blinded by the brightness and the hundreds of spotlights shining

down on iton me. We were at a regional competition and the stands of the Sovereign Bank Arena were

packed. I turned to look at the crowd behind me and was immediately nauseated. There were more than

five thousand people staring down at the miniscule girl wearing the yellow and black Team 11 shirt. The

crowd was silent. I spotted my team. They were all standing and I could hear an occasional encouraging

shout from one of them. Our rank depended on each match we played. A score of zero would drop our

rank at least 5 places. The team depended on me, the girl no one had believed in. I had joined sophomore

year and had been one of three girls on the team of fifty students. It was a team for future engineers, a

male dominated field, not a place for women.

When I had first joined the team, I had clung to the only friend I had on the team like he was my

life support. Even when he would say, Youre a woman, go make me a sandwich, I would brush off

the jokes and continue doing what I had to. I was there for a reason. I loved it. I had grown up with my

father talking to me about computer programming and when he worked for the Department of Defense,

the field only became so much more interesting. I was on the programming team with all boys and I was

surrounded by boys all the time. Every day for 6 weeks until often staying up all night, we would be at

the high school, eating together, working together, falling asleep together, yelling at each other, breaking

down together, helping each other, and just bonding with each other. I soon made friends but still had to

endure insults for being a girl.

It is said that moments before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Was I dying? Flashing

before my eyes I remembered events from the three years I had been on the team. Sitting alone during

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our first meeting I had felt so out of place. The thought of quitting shot through my mind. I shouldnt be

here, I thought. I dreaded going to our build days but I couldnt let my parents know what it was like. I

cried before and after each day wanting to quit more and more after every night. Why bother? This isnt

a place for girls, I was told. Our first trip to competition I was alone again. The few friends I had were

in the pits and I wasnt allowed in; I would just get in the way.

My second year on the team my dad became mentor of the programming group (my group) and I

made Varsity Cheerleading. Deciding to do both robotics and cheerleading, I would run back and forth

during cheer competitions and build days for robotics. Not only was I one of the only girls on the team, I

was the only cheerleader who had ever been on the teama girly girl I was called. I wore ribbons in my

hair, glitter on my face, and skimpy cheer uniforms. Shouldnt you be upstairs dancing in the gym and

checking your makeup in the bathroom? I was asked. After a long day of stunting at cheerleading and

camera coding at robotics, I got in the car ready to go home. Driving home, I began asking my dad a

million questions about the program we were writing. That night I stayed up until two in the morning

with him as he walked me through the code. Why didnt you ask this before? he asked. Truth be told, I

had been afraid. With my dads help I was caught up in robotics.

On a Saturday morning at cheer competition when I was doing a double twist from a full

extension, my bases failed to catch me properly and I landed on the hardwood gym floor. My head hit the

ground and I lay there dazed for a few seconds before returning to the routine. After competition I ran

down to robotics and sat by my friend Max, head pounding. Still feeling dazed and in pain I was very

clumsy that day. I dropped a piece of the hardware almost breaking it. Girls cant be trusted with

anything, I heard someone say. Shut up youre not even in programming Mike, I heard Max respond.

Barely following the conversation I was able to make out Mikes jab I may not be in programming but

at least I know which variables control the joystick outputs. SetX negative is strafing left, SetX

positive is strafing right. SetY positive is forward and SetY negative is backward. The values feed in left

to right on the output screen and Max is trying to figure out why the wheels arent strafing right when all

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he has to do is add -256 to even out whats lost getting back to zero. That was my response. Without

even realizing I had finally retaliated in the best way imaginableshowing that I knew what I was doing.

Max, who was captain at the time, handed me the laptop saying, Shes good enough for me, then shes

good enough for the rest of the team. With Maxs support, I was still kicked around occasionally.

However, they were mostly now just jokes such as Did you break a nail? when I would scream out on

the band saw as my metal was sucked in faster than I anticipated. Now I had people that were willing to

help me if I didnt understand. Finally they understood that I really did care and that I was there for a

reason. My next cheerleading competition I looked out into the stands to see Max, my dad, and the rest

of the programming group waving at me. I smiled. The basement dwellers had finally come upstairs.

Maybe the stereotypes were washing away. I was working harder and harder now trying to understand all

parts of the robot, not just the programming side. During the competitions that year, Max would bring me

into the pits with him and show me what went on down there and let me help. With him, no one dared

say anything discouraging to me when I was drilling a hole or screwing something down. We would sit

in the hotel with the rest of the programming group fixing code last minute or goofing off with the

hotels wireless network. I finally felt included. I was happy. They were my friends and they believed in

me.

As my senior year approached, captains for the next year were being considered. I had worked so

hard and now I was hoping that I might be considered. After all, I was dedicated, knew what was going

on, and I was now able to make use of being the only girl on the team. Our team coordinator and robotics

teacher for the school would always tell me, Just smile, bat your eyelashes, and ask for things really

nicely. Youre a charming girl and anyone would love to help you. One day during class he called me

over to his desk and asked me, Who do you think next years captain should be? I wasnt sure how to

answer. ME! I wanted to shout. He looked at me and told me that I would make a wonderful captain. I

wasnt sure what to say. So he continued, Would you be able to handle it though? I mean its different

when youre captain. You cant get mad. And you have to show them youre capable and keep their

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respect. Itll be hard, they already have issues with you since youre a girl and all. He was skeptical. I

want you to be captain, he said, but its going to be difficult. Over the summer I took up every

activity that captains had previously split up between themselves. I worked the summer classes, I did the

freshman orientation presentations, and many other such activities. Before our town carnival where we

always have a booth, I was announced as the only team captain for that year. Now I was the first girl

captain of the team. Though I was still nervous, I ran the carnival with Max sitting behind me at the

booth the whole time. I had a close knit group of people who I could always trust to help me and they

were all at the carnival helping with the booth. As I sat down for the first time in hours, Max said to me,

You know I wont be here this season I thought about it and I was terrified. He wouldnt always be

in the shadows, backing me up whenever I ran into a problem.

I thought about him as I stood on the field. I was alone again. I had made it through the whole six

week build season without missing his constant presence. Why was I here? I thought, I shouldnt be

captain. I wasnt good enough. I couldnt do this. I looked back at my team again. They were chanting

Alex Tessmer, the cheer that started last year that continued to this whenever they wanted to show

their support in someone from our team. I smiled but my mind exploded. I was going to let them down.

As I approached our robot I panickedhow was I supposed to figure out what was wrong alone? I knelt

down by our robot staring at the wires. It had to be electrical. I searched through the control board

looking for anything out of place and then I saw it. Amidst all the wires I saw the red wire that was

supposed to be connected to the Robot Controller had come free of its connector. I had to make it last

one match before we replaced the connector. I pulled a piece of electrical tape off the bumper and taped

the red wire into the connector making sure it couldnt come out again. I powered up the robot and

watched as the yellow lights started blinking. I turned my head to the left and looked through the glass

wall to see if the indicator on the dashboard had lit up. It had. The drive team, our alliance, and our entire

team from the stands burst out screaming. I flashed a quick smile to my team and ran off the field. I was

good enough. I deserved my role as captain.