Mastering Nonverbal Communication in Teaching Relationships Presenter: Diane Menke Pence, MSEd,...
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Transcript of Mastering Nonverbal Communication in Teaching Relationships Presenter: Diane Menke Pence, MSEd,...
Mastering Nonverbal Communicationin Teaching Relationships
Presenter: Diane Menke Pence, MSEd, Graduate Intern
EIU Department of Counseling & Student Development
Content: Michele Melvin, EdS, LCPCFaculty, EIU Dept. of Counseling & Student DevelopmentSr. Partner, Hunter & Melvin Professional Counseling
and Diane Menke Pence, MSEd, Graduate Intern
EIU Dept. of Counseling & Student Development
Observation Skills • Attending Skills • Cultural Context
Presentation Goal To educate student teachers about
the uses of observation and attending skills
as they apply to nonverbal communication
in order to maximize effective communication
with students, parents, and colleagues,
and to become sensitive to
cultural differences along these lines.
OBSERVATION SKILLS
OBSERVATION SKILLS...
…Noticing what goes on, both nonverbally and verbally, between you and the student, parent, or colleague you are talking to.
OBSERVATION SKILLS ARE IMPORTANT, BECAUSE…
Up to 85% of communication is nonverbal!
What you NOTICE can greatly help you understand the other person and navigate discussion accordingly.
Verbals can be contrasted by nonverbals (incongruency) which reveal the other person’s true feelings…
…or supported by nonverbals (congruency) which accentuate the person’s feelings
Observation can help you bridge individual, cultural, and/or gender differences
OBSERVATION SKILLS ARE IMPORTANT, BECAUSE…
...help you notice and question nonverbal subtleties and changes especially in response to you (your behavior, inquiry, or confrontation)
…help you consider what the other person may be feeling
Observation can…
What To Observe In The Other
Person’s Nonverbal Communication
Notice Body Language•relaxed or tense body and how it changes with discussion
•open or closed posture and how it changes with discussion
•body language that is incongruent with words
•intensity of movement as an indicator of mood, personality, or outlook on an issue
How to Use Body Language EffectivelyUSE:
• Mirroring• assume posture and movements of other person
• Pacing: • start with mirroring, then move to more positive posture/movement
OBSERVE:• When movement is synchronous
• mirroring one another’s movements• When movement is complementary:
• harmonious movements• When movement is dissynchronous
• differing movements that might show conflict
Notice Facial Expression• incongruent smiling• look of confusion or being lost• expressionless or flat affect• affect demonstrating various moods or emotions
• blood flow changes (e.g. blushing or growing pale)
• avoiding eye contact, inconsistent eye contact, or intense staring
• grimacing, frowning• eyes welling up• tightening of lips• agreement, understanding, connection, excitement
Notice Eye Movements
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) suggests that there is a link between the way our eyes move and the way we think
In NLP, eye movements are known as eye accessing cues—they enable us to access certain information
Noticing eye movements can help us to understand how a person relates to the world—i.e. visually, auditorily, or kinesthetically—and communicate with them according to THEIR representational systems
Eye Accessing Cues
Looking up, or defocusing, usually represents visual accessing
Looking sideways usually represents auditory accessing
Looking down to the right (your left as you face the person) usually represents kinesthetic accessing
Looking down to the left (your right as you face the person) usually represents an internal dialogue
Applying accessing cues For those visually accessing,
respond in terms of SEEING “This is how you see it…” “I see what you mean”
For those auditorily accessing, respond in terms of HEARING
“It sounds like you aren’t happy with that grade”
“I hear what you’re saying”
For those kinesthetically accessing, respond in terms of FEELING
“That must feel awful” “I feel happy for you”
WARNINGS!1. Don’t behave nonverbally in any way that is incongruent for you.
you will feel awkward you will be transparent to the other person
you will likely make you both feel uncomfortable
2. You must interpret the other person
within his/her context not your context.(e.g. race, ethnicity, gender, generation, personality, values, etc.)
SOMECULTURAL
DIFFERENCES
Eye Contact and Gaze
Western cultures: Direct eye contact seen as positiveDiffers for some races
– African American—more eye contact when talking, less when listening
– Anglo Americans—often the oppositeProlonged eye contact may be seen as sexual interest
Arabic cultures:Prolonged eye contact is common
– Shows interest– Helps them understand truthfulness
Japan, African, Latin American, & Caribbean cultures:Avoid eye contact to show respect
Facial Expressions
Many Asian cultures:Suppress facial expression as much as possible
Many Mediterranean culturesExaggerate grief or sadness
Most American men Hide grief and sorrow
TouchWestern Cultures
– Handshake is common– Hugs, kisses for those of opposite gender, family– Some differences between African American & Anglo Americans
Islamic/Hindu cultures– Typically don’t touch with left hand– Generally don’t touch between genders; with same sexes is
appropriate– Common to see two men or two women holding hands
(friendship)Many Asian cultures
– Don’t touch the head because it houses the soulLatino, Middle-Eastern, & Jewish cultures
– Touch is okay—emotion encouraged– Opposite-sex handshakes acceptable; usually same-sex
English, German, Scandinavian, Chinese & Japanese cultures– Do not subscribe to overt displays of affection
Posture Bowing
– Not done, criticized, or affected in US– Shows rank in Japan
Slouching– Rude in most Northern European areas
Hands in pocket– Disrespectful in Turkey
Sitting with legs crossed– Offensive in Ghana, Turkey
Showing the soles of feet– Distasteful in Thailand, Saudi Arabia
GesturesSome cultures are animated, others
restrained
Amount of gesturing varies from one culture to another
A gesture acceptable in your culture may be offensive in another– e.g. Pointing
US, Asia with index fingerGermany with little fingerJapan with entire hand
General Appearance and Dress
Differing cultural standards– What is attractive– What constitutes modesty– What is required by one’s religion
ATTENDING
SKILLS
ATTENDING SKILLS ARE…
… the way you convey to a student,
parent, or colleague that you
are engaged in communication with
him/her.
• demonstrate respect • build rapport • encourage talk, openness• foster cooperation lends well
to problem-solving• lessen intensity of
confrontation, conflict• allow you to fall back when
you are“lost”• model positive communication
WHY USE ATTENDING SKILLS IN MY TEACHING RELATIONSHIPS?
Partner Activity: Role Play1) Choose a partner2) Play these roles:
– Person 1: talk about something fun you did recently– Person 2: use the poor attending skills
– Don’t look at the person– Respond minimally or not at all– Position your body so that you are not facing
them directly, etc.
What was difficult about this…
…for the listener? …for the speaker?
5 GENERAL ATTENDING SKILLS
1. VISUAL / EYE CONTACTDO:
• look at talking people in the eye• convey interest with your eyes• show empathy with your eyes • hold eye contact sensitively
DON’T:• stare off or avoid eye contact• shift your gaze continuously• stare TOO intensely• break eye contact abruptly
2. VOCAL QUALITIES
DO convey genuine interest with your…
•speech tone•rate•volume•pauses
DON’T:
• sound bored, hurried, sleepy, overexcited• forget to allow for silence• allow for too much silence• talk too loudly or softly (not matching
volume)
3. VERBAL TRACKING & SELECTIVE ATTENTIONDO:
• follow the person’s story as it is told to you
• follow the person’s story through his/her particular story-telling pattern
• show more interest nonverbally in productive aspects
of a person’s story • show less interest nonverbally in story telling, negative behaviors, or reports of negative behavior
DON’T:• change the subject to meet your personal agenda • lose track of his/her story because you are distracted or
dominating
DO:• face the other person with your whole body
• clear the space between you• lean in slightly • use facial expressions and gestures appropriateto the discussion content
DON’T:• sit back or turned away• be physically blocked• have a blank or inappropriate expression• over or undergesture
4. BODY LANGUAGE
5. NONVERBAL ENCOURAGERS
Encourage communication without saying a word by using…
•nodding•welcoming hand gestures•smiling and other positive facial expressions
•empathic expression•open posture•leaning in at interesting points
WARNING…again!
Apply attending skills
within the context
of the student, parent, or colleague’s
race, ethnicity, gender, generation,
personality, values, etc.
Partner Activity: 2nd Role Play1) Get together with your same partner2) Switch roles:
– Person 2: talk about something fun you did recently– Person 1: use good attending skills
– Good eye contact– Good vocal qualities– Verbal tracking– Good body language– Nonverbal encouragers
What was different this time…
…for the listener? …for the speaker?
Summary: Nonverbal Communicationin Teaching Relationships
Use OBSERVATION and ATTENDING skills to maximize effective communication with students, parents, and colleagues
AND
Be aware of CULTURAL CONTEXT to help you be sensitive to cultural differences
in nonverbal communication