the lookof love

Karen Evans reveals how you can radiate The Look of Loveby putting on spiritual garments of joy and peace!

s p r i n g 2 0 0 7

m a g a z i n e

marriage in Americaby Jimmy Evans

the counterintuitive coupleby Jimmy Evans

myspace in marriageby Brenton Evans

™

In Our Secret Paradise, couples can enjoy the journey

of discovery that begins when two people say, “I do.”

Through practical discussions and humorous illustrations

of the ups and downs of marriage, relationship expert

Jimmy Evans helps readers get on the path that leads

to a strong and beautiful marriage relationship.

Our Secret Paradise can be yours as you

and your spouse learn:

The secret to building a great marriage

Seven keys to becoming best friends

How to defeat the real enemy of marriage

Four foundations for peace and intimacy

The secret to sexual fulfillment

o u r s e c r e t p a r a d i s e

Is it possible to create a marriage that is secure, satisfying andpassionate in the way God intended? The answer is “yes!”

BK60 ......hardcover book..................$18.95CD60......7 sessions on 6 CDs ...........$35.95DVD60 ....7 sessions on 3 DVDs..........$59.95

Welcome to the second edition of MarriageToday Magazine.We have some great articles and important information foryou to enjoy. Our prayer is that this magazine will encourageand equip you to succeed in marriage.

As I write this, I’m remembering back to when this ministrybegan fourteen years ago. Not only did we not have amagazine, but we only had one book to offer. It was my firstbook, Marriage on the Rock. We didn’t have any CDs or DVDs(only cassettes and VHS tapes were available back then) orany other resources.

Today we have more than one hundred marriage-buildingresources to offer—including our new magazine. This is a

dream come true for us. From the beginning, our passionhas been to help people succeed in marriage. Since marriageis such a multi-dimensional relationship, it is impossible forone resource to meet every need.

Last year we began planning and designing the MarriageTodayMagazine. We believe it gives us the ability to say things thatare more specific, personal and timely than other mediums.One reason I love this magazine is because it gives you anopportunity to hear from Karen. She is one of the best writersI’ve ever read. (Yes, I’m prejudiced—but it’s true.)

You will love her article titled “The Look of Love” that isfeatured in this issue.

I also like having the opportunity to share thoughts inthis forum that I don’t share anywhere else. My article “TheCounterintuitive Couple” is something I’ve wanted to sayfor a long time. I believe you will enjoy it. In addition, ourfamily, staff and marriage experts from around the countrywill be sharing insights and truths in this and future issues.

I am thankful for how God has blessed us for the pastfourteen years. When I look back at how we began with just

one book, it makes me even moregrateful for where we are today.As you hold this magazine, I justwant you to know what a blessingit is for us to be able to send it toyou. We hope it is just as mucha blessing for you to receive it andread it.

We still have many more dreams we hope to see fulfilledin the future. We will not be satisfied until everyone has hadthe opportunity to hear the message of God’s plan for successin marriage. Many people today are hurting from marriageand family problems. Millions have given up on marriagecompletely. They have chosen not to marry at all or decidedto cohabit without making it formal.

We want people to know how much God loves them andthat He has the power to heal and fulfill their hearts’ desires.Marriage is wonderful when you do it God’s way! However,it still can be challenging, and having a successful relationshiptakes a lot of encouragement and instruction. That is whywe are here. We pray you enjoy this issue of the MarriageTodayMagazine. Also, remember that you can go to our websiteat marriagetoday.org to watch our television programs 24/7,read helpful articles, as well as order resources online.

God Bless You,

Jimmy Evans

dear friend,

welcome

We want people to know how much God

loves them and that He has the power to

heal and fulfill their hearts’ desires.

spr ing 2007 | marr iagetoday.org 3Copyright ©2007 by MarriageToday™ All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Printed in the USA.

the look of loveFashion or what we wear has always been

an important aspect of life. Since the Fall of Mankind

in the Garden of Eden, we have been very creative in

the process, designing everything from fig leaves to

what we see now in the twenty-first century.

For instance, I can remember in detail what Jimmy waswearing 36 years ago the first time I actually noticed him.

There was an attraction I felt as I walked up the hallwaytoward him. Known as one of the cool guys, Jimmy wasthe “James Dean type.” He was leaning against the doorframe of his next class while some cute girl was flirting withhim as he glanced my way. I didn’t sense that he even sawme, but I noticed him. My first impression of him had todo with what he was wearing. He had on slender jeans (hewas tall and very thin) and a beautiful colored, striped shirt,and he wore cool “desert boots” on his feet. It’s funny that,in thinking back to that first attraction, what he wore andhow he carried himself made such an impression on me.

I believe we all could agree that how a person dresses ispart of how we judge, accept, or remember him or her.Clothing is part of our first impression.

And, clothing is also a part of Scripture.In Colossians 3, the Apostle Paul tells us how to dress in

a spiritual way to make an impression on others. He tellsus to “put on” tender mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness,patience, longsuffering and forgiveness. Over this, we areto put on love, unity, peace and thankfulness. Wow! Thatis a lot of clothing and accessories.

When I read this Scripture it seemed unreal or odd tome. One day, I asked the Lord, “How does a person wearall that nice stuff?” He then reminded me about the kind ofattraction I had to Jimmy in the school hallway comparedto the attraction I have to him today. Ahhh! As a woman Ican appreciate fine, beautiful clothes (even though I hate toshop). But the true attraction people feel for others is beyondthe clothing; it is sensing what comes from the heart. I canhonestly say that is what kept me in relationship with Jimmyduring our turbulent dating years. Occasionally, I would geta glimpse of his heart, his true character. I would see whathe was really wearing.

To this day I am most attracted to Jimmy when he iswearing mercy, patience, humility, peace, etc. To me that isthe “Look of Love.”

Now if I am attracted to him that way—how do I attracthim? Do I wear doubt, mistrust, fear, anger, resentment,bitterness, pride, stress, worry, or nagging? I confess to youthat many times I have grabbed the garments of complaintinstead of praise and thankfulness. In times of self-pity orinsecurity, I have wrapped myself in fear instead of love. Myhead has been adorned with worry and anxiety. My feet havebeen shod with stress instead of peace.

Wives, we should be setting the standard of fashion forour husbands. I desire to be a wife who gives the true “Lookof Love,” don’t you? My point is that the Bible tells us to puton and wear these garments, so it’s important that we do that.

Colossians 3:18 goes on to tell wives to submit or adaptto their husbands as is “fitting” for those who belong toChrist, to “put on” submission or subjection. It is whatshows that we not only are honoring the Word, or Christ,but also our husbands.

First Peter 3:3 says we are not to be concerned withoutward beauty; we are to focus on having beauty fromwithin—a gentle, quiet, peaceable spirit. In the Garden ofEden, Adam and Eve were naked, but didn’t know it. Theywore the Glory of God. Clothing as we know it was not partof who they were. And, when Eve disobeyed the Word ofGod, or became deceived, she was clothed with shame.

heavenly c loth ing

Today, the Good News of fashion is that as believers inChrist, we wear or represent Him. Romans 13:14 tells us toclothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ and to make noprovision for the flesh. Sin, shame, hurt, fear and pride havebeen defeated through the blood of Jesus. Now we are freeto wear our heavenly clothes. »

by Karen Evans

Clothes can have a way of speaking to us about the person wearing them.

spr ing 2007 | marr iagetoday.org 5

the look of love

The choice is ours. Colossians 3:8 tells us to take off, orrid ourselves, of anger and bad feelings. Do we go with theWord and choose to wear love, mercy, and forgiveness?Or do we wear rags of unrighteousness?

As I studied what the Bible had to say about clothing,I was amazed to find it is emphasized throughout Scripture.Let’s look at several examples:

Isaiah 61 talks about all that Jesus did for us when Hedied on the cross. Here we read that not only did He healthe brokenhearted and set the captives free, but He also hasprovided us with the garment of praise, instead of a heavy,burdened and failing spirit. Notice the word “spirit.” Thatword tells us that what is within us must be healed andchanged, and then we choose to put on a new garment—the garment of praise instead of depression.

Ephesians 6:10–20 tells us that in times of prayer weare to wear our war clothes: the breastplate of righteousness,shoes of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation,and the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.

Proverbs 3 instructs us to put truth and kindness aroundour necks. And, we are told to guard our hearts because theheart is who we are.

tak ing a wardrobe inventory

Now, let me come back to everyday, practical living. Aswomen, we are most attracted to character. What comesfrom the heart should be our monitor of relating to eachother. It is what we are “wearing.” You can’t fake what is inyour heart for very long. Once you open your mouth, yourheart will reveal everything behind the clothing or garmentsthat you chose to put on.

Imagine your husband discussing you with someone else.Would he say, “My honey is wearing the most beautifulgarment of love; her hat is so peaceful; her neck has themost fabulous scarf of kindness and truth”?

Or would we hear, “She wears a cloak of quick temper,the overcoat of unforgiveness”?

Husband, how would your wife describe what you put on?Do you wear the shirt of tender mercy or the pants of pride?

The Bible states that beauty and flesh are fleeting, heretoday and gone tomorrow, always changing. But the Wordis the same. It is steadfast; it never changes. Those who wearit become more and more beautiful. We actually are becomingthe Bride of Christ—adorned without spot or wrinkle(Ephesians 5:27).

What are we becoming? Is it time to take an inventory ofour wardrobe? What are we representing? What first impres-sion are we giving?

I know that as I have studied the Word and put my faithin Christ and what He does for me and through me, HisSpirit begins to cause the seed of His Word in my heart togrow and produce fruit. That fruit is what becomes evidentand reveals who I really am.

I am challenged every day to make a choice about whatI put on. My desire is to put on the “Look of Love” thatbrings honor to Jimmy. My heart is to honor him withkindness, patience, forgiveness, mercy; to be a confidentwoman who trusts and does not respond in fear. The Wordtells me that men are the glory of Christ and women are theglory of their husbands. My goal is to wear the garments orwardrobe described in Colossians 3, to choose that necklaceof kindness, and to honor Jimmy with words of faith andtrust instead of fears and lies.

As I close, I want to encourage you to join me in consideringour clothes closets. Let’s begin by going to our prayer closetsand asking the Lord to forgive us for putting on behavior thatis not heavenly. Then let’s commit to put on the spiritualwardrobe that reflects the joy and peace that Jesus Christprovides us every day. When we do this, we will radiate the“Look of Love” that others will find irresistible.

What comes from the heart should be our monitor of relating to each other.

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The multi-purpose resource kit can turn hurtingand even divorce-bound marriages into thesatisfying relationships God intended them to be.The Marriage on the Rock series helps guide andprepare people for the most crucial relationshipsin life. This resource is perfect for individual study,pre-marriage or couples counseling, small groupdiscipleship, or church-wide marriage seminars.

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In an age of disposable marriages and information overload, wherecan couples turn for real answers that will make relationships work?Only to the author and creator of marriage—our Heavenly Father.

COUNTERINTUITIVTHE

If you’re familiar with computers, you know the differencebetween hardware and software. Both are needed to have afunctioning computer. The hardware is the fixed machineryand the software is the programmed data.

When God created mankind, He created us with anamazing computer in our minds. Just like a regular computer,it is made up of hardware and software. The hardware isour physical brain and the software is the information andeducation we receive that guides our thinking.

In the world of computers, your worst nightmare is avirus that infects the software and causes a computer to“crash.” When that happens, it doesn’t matter how good thehardware is—infected software renders the computer notonly useless, but also dangerous.

In the Garden of Eden, man was created with his brainproperly programmed with God’s Word. The hardware and

software were perfect until a virus infected the software.When Satan deceived Adam and Eve into rebelling againstGod and rejecting His Word, he introduced a virus into thesoftware of mankind. That virus has been wreaking havocever since.

Unfortunately, we’re all born with infected software.Fortunately, we’re also born with amazing hardware.Also, God has blessed us by giving us His Word to

reprogram our software and remove all dangerous viruses.We are told by the Apostle Paul to avoid being conformed

to the infected thinking of the world and to be transformedby the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). And, Jesustold us to abide in His Word and we would know the truthand it would make us free (John 8:31). Jesus also said, “Manshall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedsfrom the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4, NKJV).

COUPLE

8 marr iagetoday.org | spr ing 2007

by Jimmy Evans

spr ing 2007 | marr iagetoday.org 9

Some couples seem to have it all: anintimate relationship, happy childrenand financial prosperity. Others are atrain wreck! Have you ever wonderedwhy certain marriages flourish, whileothers suffer tremendously?

Take a moment and evaluateyour own marriage.

Would you say, “Well, we have a goodmarriage, but it’s not that great.”

Might you admit, “We tolerate each otherand stay together because of the kids.”

Perhaps you would confess, “I think Imarried the wrong person!”

Exactly what makes a great marriage?

ever y great marr iage

That’s right. The fact is, truly great marriages have anumber of common characteristics. You can learnwhat these elements are, implement them in yourrelationship, and then you will be able to say withconfidence, “We have a great marriage!”

That’s what this teaching is all about: Establishinggreatness in your marriage. Every great marriage hascommon elements, one of which is the realizationthat your marriage is not about you… and, it is notabout your spouse… your marriage is all about God.In the Every Great Marriage teaching you’ll learn aboutthat. You’ll also:

• Learn about God’s pattern for your relationship soyou and your spouse can be blessed in every area.

• Find out that the way you relate to your spouseis indicative of the way you relate to God.

• Become convinced that God indeed has a purposeand a plan for your marriage—a plan you’ll love!

• Know that peace can rule and reign in your homeas you and your spouse step into your specificGod-given roles.

As you implement these principles, you and yourspouse can experience an intimate, heart-to-heart,spirit-to-spirit relationship. You too will be able to saywith confidence, “Our marriage is truly great!”

“Vision Retreat” bonus teaching included on both CD and DVD! Get the mostout of this teaching by using The Mountaintop of Marriage companion journal.

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Well, regardless of the condition of yourmarriage today—it can become great!

Just for telling us about your great marriage…get a chance to win a $500 MarriageTodaygift certificate!

Got a great husband? A terrific wife? A marriage that’s getting sweeter allthe time? We want to hear about it! Go to MarriageToday.org to share thegood news about your great marriage, and we’ll automatically enter youto win a MarriageToday gift certificate valued at $500.

Find out more and share your story online today at…marriagetoday.org/win500

Perfect Timing!I can honestly say God’s timing is perfect. Ireceived a copy of “Marriage On The Rock”at a time that my marriage was near theend. After listening to your resources, mywife and I realized what was missing in ourmarriage and why we were having problems.You have been not only a blessing from theLord but a daily affirmation that there is stilla reason and purpose for dedicating ourselvesto our family.

—John, Arkansas

Explosive Relationship RestoredYour online videos, prayers, conferences andbooks have helped restore our marriage!Back in April, my husband and I had a veryexplosive night. I filed charges against himand stayed at a friend’s house. During thattime of separation, we went through your“Marriage on the Rock” study book andbegan going to counseling. Within a month,we were back together and on our way toa better, more fulfilling marriage. Your booksand counseling revealed that our mainproblem was a lack of communication. Karen,I love how you said it, “It is hard to love andhonor a husband who does not respect youback.” Thank you again for your ministryand everything you do.

—Natalie, Texas

youwhat a difference

make

t es t imon ies

Thanks to the vital support of friendslike you, MarriageToday is reaching,stretching, and growing to meet thetremendous needs of this generation ofcouples. These testimonies are truly justa drop in the bucket of all God is doingthrough MarriageToday across America.

And if you are currently working torestore a damaged marriage, pleasetake encouragement and hope fromthese reports. Here is evidence thatthese principles work and that God isstill in the marriage-healing business!

when you invest in the extraordinary work of MarriageToday.

1 2 marr iagetoday.org | spr ing 2007

Hope and Healing Foundin “Our Secret Paradise”I discovered the “Our Secret Paradise” booka couple of weeks ago at a Bible bookstore.I finished it in one day and immediately sentit to my daughter with a heartfelt letter askingher to prayerfully read it and consider howthis information could help her in her troubledmarriage. The next day she called to sayshe had spent the entire night reading thebook and was immediately convicted of herneed to accept responsibility for her role intheir dysfunctional relationship. Thanks to thecandid advice in the book, she now has a“plan of action” and renewed hope that hermarriage can be healed. I am in the processof ordering a case of these books to use inour marriage ministry. This material will beinstrumental in helping us offer concrete stepsto couples who truly want to not only healtheir marriage, but to experience a joy theynever dreamed possible!

—Sherri, California

From Africa toColorado to DallasThank you for obeying God’s call on yourlives to help save marriages! Two years agomy mother-in-law sent my husband and methe “Marriage on the Rock”CD set. She is amissionary in Africa, and she was introducedto your ministry by fellow missionary partners.It is incredible and has helped strengthenour marriage. We attend a Marriage BibleStudy and we have gone through manydifferent curriculums, but none touched us inthe practical way that “Marriage on theRock”did. Our goal is to pass on theseprinciples to everyone we know.

Our church purchased the video curriculumkit and so far we have had four groupscomplete the series. Everyone loves thisresource because it is funny, biblical andrelevant to everyday life. We also use yourseries to help couples in crisis and couplesin pre-marriage counseling.

Our Bible study group recently decidedto go through “Freedom From Your Past” aswell. Many individuals discoveredunforgiveness and hurts they had not releasedto the Lord. This was such a wonderful bookthat I decided to send it to my sister in Dallaswho is not a Christian. It touched her heart,and she experienced forgiveness and lovethat can only come from the Lord! I also toldher about Gateway Church in Southlake andshe agreed to visit because she was movedby your teachings and it had opened thedoor for her salvation. She loved Gatewayand felt the Spirit of God touch her heart.She and her husband were both saved andbaptized at Gateway!

From Africa to Colorado to Dallas, wehave experienced the blessings of Godthrough your teachings. Thank you for yourcontinued passion and commitment.

—Brandy, Colorado

Fanning the Flame of IntimacyWe were at a point in our marriage wheremy wife was contemplating leaving. Weboth felt like we had married the wrongperson. But, your intimacy and passion serieshelped us fall in love with each other again!Our eyes were opened to the different needsof men and women. This is something weneed to teach our kids.

—Al, Virginia

Defeating DivorceI ordered the audio series “Our SecretParadise” for our son and daughter-in-lawwho were in the process of divorce. I'mhappy to report that they are now remarriedand seem to be working out their problems.How we praise God!

—Frances, Arkansas

180 Degrees in 30 DaysMy wife and I have been in counselingthrough your “Marriage on the Rock” series.We were separated when God began todeal with us. We believe God did a miraclein our lives as He brought us 180 degreesin 30 days. We are closer to each othernow than we ever were in our 30 years ofmarriage. God really worked with us andshowed us, through your ministry, how tolive a life for Him as one. God has shownus through your CD's how we should live asa married couple. We thank you and hopeGod continues to bless your ministry as wellas our newfound love for each other.

—Louis, Massachusetts

_________________________________________________________________

Some of the above testimonies have been editedfor length, punctuation, grammar or clarity ofmeaning.

Note: Your gifts to MarriageToday enable us to continue extending help and

hope to you and to couples across North America. We can’t do it without you.

Please use the attached envelope to invest in changed lives and to plant a seed

for relational restoration in your own life. What a difference you can make!

spr ing 2007 | marr iagetoday.org 13

by Brenton Evans

The young mom lives outside a small West Texas town withher husband, Casey, who is a cattle rancher. She describestheir acreage as a “little patch of heaven.” Living in the country,however, sometimes means little social interaction.

What’s more, Nikki and Casey, who struggled early intheir marriage, have a passion to help others discoversolutions to marital problems. They found hope—andeventually healing—when a friend told Nikki about Mar-riageToday.org. Now the couple desires to tell everyone theyknow about the resources of MarriageToday.

But how do you do that when you live miles from thenearest speck of a town? Their answer—MySpace.com.

social networking MySpace is what is referred to as asocial networking site. There are others out there—Facebook,Friendster and Xanga to name a few—but with over 200million users and roughly 230,000 new sign-ups every day,MySpace accounts for more than 82 percent of the webtraffic in this market.

But, exactly who uses MySpace.com? Well, given thestatistics just mentioned, chances are either you or someoneyou know has a MySpace page. According to research, mostMySpace users are teens and twenty-somethings. That statisticis rapidly changing however. The research firm comScorelists 87 percent of users as 18 years old or older, and 52percent as 35 years old and older.

That means, increasingly, more moms and dads are sharingonline space with the kiddos.

knowing the benefits Hands down, the number onereason people use MySpace is to interact and socialize. Nolonger do you have to wait until your ten-year, high-schoolreunion to find out who has nine kids and a bald spot.Armed with the MySpace search button, a user can turn thewebsite into a networking playground, instantly findingpast, current and new friends—all with the click of a mouse.

Teens particularly like MySpace because they get to carveout a little bit of online real estate and use it to stay hip withfellow classmates. Singles enjoy MySpace because it givesthem opportunities to interact with past and present chums,as well as meet new people with similar interests.

When it comes to married couples, however, MySpace isa bit more complex. Social networking sites are generallygeared for individual expression, so very rarely does a coupleshare a single account. Usually each spouse has his or herown page which links to the other spouse’s individual page.

But, not always.The truth is many spouses aren’t even aware their other

half is using MySpace.com. »

myspace

illlustration by csjennings.com

Naptime means time for Nikki to interact with friends. Once she puts the kids down,

Nikki makes her way to the family computer where she pulls up her MySpace page.

spr ing 2007 | marr iagetoday.org 15

realizing the dangers That bringsup this crucial point: if you are marriedand you or your spouse is on a socialnetworking site, or your kids are on one,please, please, please make sure youalways err on the side of caution. Studiesshow that people typically lower theirguards and inhibitions while online.

For example, we don’t walk outsideour front doors and find naked peoplein lewd positions on our sidewalks,but online, it only takes a couple ofclicks to see such filth. Vulgarity isextremely prevalent on the internet.There is no forewarning when thesethings pop up on our screens—andabsolutely no censors.

Paul instructs us in Romans 13:14 to“make no provision for the flesh, toobey it in its lust.” I am convinced thatif we aimlessly begin trolling aroundon sites such as MySpace.com, we willbe making provision for our flesh.

Wives may find it tempting to makeonline relationships—especially whenit comes to interacting with other men.

Husbands may be tempted to look atinappropriate pictures and videos, andto visit chat rooms which prey on oneof a man’s main weaknesses—lust.

When we don’t have a guarded pur-pose for being online and are justclicking around, we easily can makeprovision for our flesh. So, while onlinewe must have a plan and stick to it. Ifsomething vulgar comes up on thescreen, it’s important to look awayimmediately and click out of that page.

One more note to couples. Anonym-ity becomes a powerful force online.Words and gestures that someonewould never exhibit in public suddenlybecome OK online. I have been shockednumerous times as I’ve gone to a friend’sMySpace page and seen crude and dis-tasteful things. These are people whoprofess to be believers, but they some-how think their online world is differentfrom their offline world.

I’m not implying a person should orshouldn’t be on MySpace.com, nor amI advocating for or against the site. This

article is merely meant to help couplesand parents understand a little moreabout social networking websites andstress the accountability that’s necessary.

staying informed Knowing whatyour kids are doing online is important.Make sure they give you all links andpasswords to their accounts. Also, asmuch as possible, husbands and wivesshould participate in online activitiestogether. While realistically this isn’talways possible, it is always possible forcouples to be open with each otherabout their online use.

Simply put, MySpace.com is a phe-nomenal way to interact and socialize,but precautions must be taken—especially when kids are involved.

And, don’t forget how Nikki andCasey are using MySpace to transformmarriages. There may be a similar min-istry opportunity out there waiting foryou.

Important things can slip when your life is busy. So, perhaps you arelooking to simplify without sacrificing what’s important. And, one of themost essential things in life is staying spiritually strong. That’s why deliveringencouraging teaching whenever and wherever you have time is needed…

All it takes is an MP3 player or an iPod to enjoy the podcast in audioor video format. To get started, visit marriagetoday.org/podcasting

…MySpace.com is a phenomenal way to interact and socialize, but precautions

must be taken—especially when kids are involved.

NEW PODCASTING // Marr iageToday broadcas t

hectic life. simple solution.

Considering marriage?Ask these questions (and more)…Does your fiancé(e) commu-nicate honestly with you?What is your greatest fearabout getting married?How do you resolve argu-ments or disagreements?

Do you have differences inyour religious beliefs?Who will be the“breadwinner”?Who will pay the bills andmaintain the budget?

How many children doyou want to have?How will your fiancé(e)’spast family issues affectyour marriage?

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Well, even though we had a small, even laughable, beginning,the investment club has achieved some real success overthe years. We’ve made numerous adjustments related tocontribution amounts, investments and strategies. Oneconstant, however, has remained—the partners always havemade a monthly financial contribution. And, over the years,my wife, Elaine, and I have received several distributionsfrom this partnership. Our share of the current value isenough to pay the cost of a college education at a publicuniversity for one of our children.

A partnership that had such a small beginning has growninto something of economic significance.

d o n ’ t u n d e r e s t i m a t e s m a l l b e g i n n i n g s

In the world of billiondollar mergers, saving$25 a month may seeminconsequential, but theeffectiveness of saving isnot determined by thesize of the “gathering.”

In the fall of 1987, my two best friends from college and I started an investmentclub. We formed a partnership, opened a savings account and each committedto contribute $50 every month. Three months later, our partnership receivedits first annual statement: we had earned a whopping $3.96. We sarcasticallyspeculated about whether or not a reporter from The Wall Street Journalwould seek us out to learn the secret of our investing prowess!

Well, even though we had a small, even laughable, beginning,the investment club has achieved some real success overthe years. We’ve made numerous adjustments related tocontribution amounts, investments and strategies. Oneconstant, however, has remained—the partners always havemade a monthly financial contribution. And, over the years,my wife, Elaine, and I have received several distributionsfrom this partnership. Our share of the current value isenough to pay the cost of a college education at a publicuniversity for one of our children.

A partnership that had such a small beginning has growninto something of economic significance.

d o n ’ t u n d e r e s t i m a t e s m a l l b e g i n n i n g s

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What we’ve experienced is a principle God set forth longbefore our club came into existence, namely, the merits ofconsistently setting aside money. In the world of billion dollarmergers, saving $25 a month may seem inconsequential, butthe effectiveness of saving is not determined by the size ofthe “gathering.” The issue isn’t the dollar amount. The keyis embracing God’s advice to set aside a portion of ourresources on a consistent basis. The Bible tells us, “Dishonestmoney dwindles away, but he who gathers money little bylittle makes it grow” (Proverbs 13:11 NIV). Saving is not aone-time action; rather, it’s a discipline to be practiced on anongoing basis.

Often people don’t save because they are:• too busy spending.• waiting for a better time.• confused about the true meaning of saving.• want it all—NOW.

Some of these reasons may sound familiar to you. In ournewly released book, When God We Trust, Elaine and I addressthese issues (and many others). We help you understandhow to start saving even though your finances may bestretched to the limit, when and how to save, the manybenefits of saving, and much more.

By knowing God’s principles for managing your finances,you can begin making sound financial decisions.

by Tracy Hays

When God We Trustby Tracy and Elaine Hays

Financial Stability for a Lifetime

If the most pressing financial decision you are facingtoday is which yacht to buy, then this book isn’t foryou. But if you’re juggling decisions about savingfor the future or spending for the needs and wantsof the moment, then read When God We Trust!Among other things, you’ll learn:

• How to set and achieve financial goals• A simplified budgeting method• A biblical model for getting out of debt

Tracy is a Certified Public Accountant and Elaineis a Certified Financial Planner. Together they havetaught hundreds of couples the keys to trusting Godwith their finances.

................................................................

“Giving and stewardship are the two legs that God’sblessing walk on. I am so excited that Tracy andElaine have drawn from their years of professionaland life experiences to present biblical principles onfinances in a sound, practical manner...”

Robert Morris, Senior PastorGateway Church, Southlake, Texas

When God We Trust | OV42 ........$14.95

“Dishonest money dwin-dles away, but he whogathers money little bylittle makes it grow”(Proverbs 13:11 NIV).

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Your ongoing support of MarriageTodaymakes you a part of helping familiesexperience all these blessings and benefitsthrough staying together and growingstronger. You can share a gift of supportby using the attached envelope or bygoing online at www.marriagetoday.org.

1 Children raised in intact families have,on averag e, higher academic achievement,better emotional health, and fewer behavioralproblems. When compared with their peersfrom families with two biological parents,students who lived with neither biologicalparent scored lower with regard to academicperformance, educational aspiration, a senseof self-determination, and self-esteem, andthey exhibited more behavioral problems.

2 Fathers in households with both biolog-ical parents reported spending more timewith their children and enjoying greaterfamily cohesion than fathers of householdswith adopted children or stepchildren.

3 The study found that frequent familydinners were associated with lower rates ofteen smoking, drinking, and drug use. Com-pared with teens who had dinner with theirfamilies five nights or more per week, thosewho had dinner with their families only twonights per week or less were twice as likelyto be involved in substance abuse, 2.5 timesas likely to smoke cigarettes, more than 1.5times as likely to drink alcohol, and nearlythree times as likely to try marijuana.

4 Adolescents from intact families are lesslikely to become sexually active. Among asample of adolescent virgins, those livingwith two married parents were roughly 40%less likely to engage in sexual activity beforethe follow-up interview approximately a yearlater when compared to adolescents thatwere not living with two married parents.

5 Children raised in intact families aremore likely to have healthy romantic relation-ships as adults. Compared with peers whowere raised in a home with married parents,males whose parents never married weresignificantly less likely to marry and weremore likely to cheat and walk out on theirromantic partners. Women with divorcedparents had significantly higher rates ofcohabitation and marriage but also hadhigher rates of dysfunction, such as walkingout on their partner and divorce.

6 Children raised in intact families byhappily married parents tend to be morespiritual in adulthood. This “religiosityinheritance” was even greater among childrenwho were raised in families with two happilymarried biological parents. Religiosity in thisstudy was determined with regard to sixmeasures: daily influence of religious beliefs;frequency of reading the Bible; frequencyof viewing/listening to religious broadcasts;frequency of engaging in prayer; frequencyof participation in church-related activities(other than services); and frequency of churchattendance.

7 Intact families are more likely to providea safe home for children. While 9.9 percentof teens not living with both biological parentsreported they had witnessed violence in theirhomes, only 4.4 percent of teens living withboth biological parents reported they had.

by Jimmy EvansMarriage in America

Seven Powerful Reasons to Fight for MarriageThe social, economic, and human costs of divorce arestaggering. Just how high are those costs? The WashingtonD.C.-based Heritage Foundation has been doing our nationan important service by compiling statistics and study resultsin an effort to answer that question (see www.familyfacts.org).

The following are seven recent findings about the benefitsof marriage reported by the Heritage Foundation:

ed i to r ’s no te : This regular feature brings you the “big picture” regarding trends and

movements impacting the vital institution of marriage in our nation. Of course, statistics like

those cited above are drawn from secular society and don’t take into account the redemptive

power available to God’s people. If you have been through a divorce or are from a divorced

home, you are well-acquainted with the suffering it creates. God’s grace, however, is sufficient

for every situation. Remember, Jesus is the Redeemer—He is able to rebuild, restore and

renew the lives of His children (Is. 61).

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Come join the ranksof MarriageToday’sRock Solid Partners!In today’s stormy cultural climate, strong marriages don’t happen byaccident. That’s why strengthening families with transforming biblicaltruths and God’s power is at the core of MarriageToday’s mission.Families such as yours. Families like those on your street.

And, Rock Solid Partners have joined ranks with MarriageTodayto bring hope, healing and wisdom to you and your neighbors everyday. That’s why…

Every month, because they understand the power and importanceof sharing the material blessings God has given them, our Rock SolidPartners support MarriageToday.

Monthly, you will receive the Rock Solid Marriage Subscription

created exclusively for Rock Solid Partners! An insightful and encouragingCD along with notes and inserts are included in this resource to helpkeep your marriage healthy and blessed.

Daily, as a Rock Solid Partner, you are helping us keep marriage-strengthening ministry flowing to you and your neighbors.You are helping families across the nation!

And, we would like to invite you to join ranks with us and helpus establish, strengthen, save, and restore family and marriagerelationships through a biblical message of healing, restoration,hope and encouragement. We believe that as you do, yourmarriage and family will be strengthened and blessed!

For more information about becoming a Rock Solid Partner:

visit our website at: marriagetoday.org

call us toll free at: 1-800-380-6330

e-mail us at: rocksolidpartner@marriagetoday.org

Together with our Rock Solid Partners we are changing the nationone family at a time!

y o u r f a m i l y h a s a g r e a t f u t u r e !

• Twelve Tips to ResolvingStress in Your Marriage book

• The Blessed Marriage5-CD audio series

• RSP Pen & Notepad withmarriage enrichment tips

• His & Hers Bible Bookmarkswith scriptures to pray overyour spouse.

Become a Rock Solid Partner and receive these special giftsalong with your first monthly issue:

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5 dating dangers to avoidDon’t bring up “touchy” subjects or usedate time as a time to problem solve.Avoid negative conversation or talkingabout subjects that cause disagreements.Make your date night a time to escapefrom stress, work, the children and day-to-day hassles.

Make the most of your time together byavoiding distractions. Leave cell phones,iPods, pagers, laptops, etc. turned off soyou can focus totally on your date.

Make sure you have the finances youneed to pay for the date night you plan.Dinner at a four-star restaurant is niceoccasionally, but don’t “break the bank”each date. With just a little creativity, youcan have lots of inexpensive fun!

Keeping your word is important. Don’tback out or cancel a date unless it isabsolutely necessary. Make spending thattime together a major priority, and yourdate will know how much he or she isvalued.

Having fun together is an important part of your relationship as

a couple. “Fun” can help you stay connected, make memories together,

and even fall in love all over again.

Realizing that time is a precious commodity for most people—schedules are hectic and families

scatter in different directions—having successful dates can take some effort. To help you get the

most out of your time together, the MarriageToday staff has compiled the following Date Night

Tips as well as a list of Dating Dangers to Avoid.

date night tipsPlan, Plan, Plan! Decide in advance whatyou are going to do. If needed, schedulea baby sitter, make reservations, etc.Preparation time is never wasted time.Your effort lets your date know that he orshe is valuable and that you are excitedabout having time together.

Go for a long walk, hike or bike ridethrough the park. Getting exercise andenjoying the sunshine with someone youlove makes for a great date. Take apicnic along and relax in the shade atthe end of the day.

Act like a kid again! Visit an amusementpark, fairgrounds or arcade. Ride the ridesand play the games. Eat lots of cottoncandy and other junk food all day.

Try something new together. Take ballroomdancing classes, try spin-biking at thegym, play tennis, or take a cooking class.

See a play. Go to a live concert. Visitan exhibit at an art gallery or museum.

Leave the kids overnight with family orfriends so the two of you can stay home,rent movies and cozy up on the sofa witha pizza.

Your date will love to be surprised! Sokeep the details a secret, but drop hintsabout the special time you are planning.Send e-mails with need-to-know specifics,leave voice mails building the anticipation,and send flowers or a special “date-related gift” mid-week.

Take time to prepare for your date. Lookyour best and wear your favorite perfumeor aftershave. Be well-rested beforehandso you can be energetic and fun!

Remember to do the little things. Men,open the car door for your date, holdhands and always give your date yourundivided attention. Women, be respectfuland appreciative of everything your datedoes for you throughout the evening.Make your date feel valued.

And finally, a date of all dates. Plan foran extended time together and visit theplace where you spent your honeymoon.Rest, relax and reconnect the way you didin the very first few days of your marriage.

For more meeting information and to register for upcoming seminars,visit our website at marriagetoday.org, or call 1.866.800.3244.

From the moment you walk through the doors of a MarriageToday meeting or seminar,

ministry begins. In an atmosphere rich in the presence and power of God, relationships

are restored and marriages are healed.

As you listen to the message, you will be drawn back—back to your first love for God

and each other. And, you will walk away—armed with the truth of God’s Word, and

the practical knowledge you need to continue to grow and be blessed in your family

and marriage.

Make plans now to join Jimmy Evans at an upcoming meeting or seminar. Invest some

time in cultivating your relationship. Learn how to create a rewarding marriage and

satisfying relationship.

What would you say about the condition of yourmarriage? Would you say, “ We’re making it, butit’s a real struggle”? Perhaps you would confess,“I think I married the wrong person!” Maybe youwould say, “ We have a pretty good marriage, butwe want it to be the best it can be!” Well, regard-less of the present condition of your marriage…

Your family has a great future!

s e m i n a r s c h e d u l e

Join Jimmy Evans and make adifference in your marriage!

s e m i n a r s

February 9–10, 2007Gateway ChurchSouthlake, Texas

April 13–14, 2007Resurrection Life ChurchGrandville, Michigan

July 27–28, 2007Covenant ChurchCarrollton, Texas

November 2–3, 2007Trinity Fellowship ChurchAmarillo, Texas

Schedule subject to change.

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