Marriage and Divorce...A Muslim wedding ceremony A Muslim wedding ceremony is simple and often...

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Marriage and Divorce

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What is marriage?

!   Marriage is a public declaration by two people that they intend to spend the rest of their lives together.

!   It is a social occasion in that society is witness to what is happening.

!   Marriage is a legally binding contract.

!   Marriage is the beginning of a new family unit – the couple, any children they might have, their extended families, etc.


Secular marriage


Christian marriage

Different Christian traditions have different marriage ceremonies, but the meaning behind them is the same.

Research the wedding ceremony from any Christian denomination e.g. Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Salvation Army, etc.


A typical Anglican ceremony


The marriage vows

During the service the couple make certain promises.

With a partner decide what the five vows actually mean in a practical sense. Can you give examples of situations where they may apply? For example, “richer/poorer” – what happens if one of them is unemployed? If you had to add vows for a modern marriage what would they be?

“I, (name), take you, (name) to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward;

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘till death us do part.”


Christians and marriage

!   Christians believe that marriage should be for life and is something that was planned by God from the beginning of the world.

!   For a marriage to work it must be taken seriously, and Christians believe that couples should attend a course first to think through the promises they are going to make and the commitments they will take on.

!   The Roman Catholic, Anglican and Orthodox Churches say that marriage is a sacrament. This means that it is an outward visible sign of an inner blessing from God.

!   A stable monogamous (one man/one woman) relationship is seen as the best place for children to be born and brought up.


What happens when a marriage breaks down?


Christians and divorce


The Bible and divorce


Marriage in Islam

When a couple marries it does not just involve them but their two families as well. Marriage is for life and so the right partner has to be found. In many Muslim countries this means that the marriages are arranged by the parents of the two youngsters.

!   Make a list of the qualities you might look for in a husband/wife.

!   Make a list of the qualities your parents might look for.

!   Are they different? If so, why?


Arranging a Muslim marriage


A Muslim wedding ceremony

A Muslim wedding ceremony is simple and often short. The couple exchange vows in front of witnesses and there will be readings from the Koran as well as prayers for the couple. There is no special religious ceremony but a marriage is often conducted by an Imam at a masjid. The couple sign a wedding contract called a ‘nikah’ which outlines their duties and responsibilities; for instance, a woman could state in it that she does not want her husband to take a second wife.

If you had to write a nikah for your wedding what would it include? Be careful – remember that both parties have to sign it!


Polygamy


Muslim teaching


Islam and divorce


Marriage in Judaism


Jewish teaching


A Jewish wedding ceremony

At a Jewish wedding ceremony the couple stand under a huppah which is a symbol of harmony and of their new home together. Do you know what happens next?


A Jewish wedding ceremony


Judaism and divorce !   Marriage is seen as very important in Judaism but it is

accepted that sometimes a marriage will fail and divorce is necessary.

!   To divorce the couple must go to the Bet Din (rabbinical court) where they are given a ‘get’ (certificate of divorce). If one or other of the couple do not want to face their partner in the court they can send a representative (e.g. a parent). Without this religious divorce a Jew cannot remarry even though they might get a civil divorce according to the law of the country they live in.

!   If a man fails to hand over the get to his former wife she is unable to marry again and he still has a hold on her. This happened more frequently in the past than it does now. The Jewish community put pressure on the husband to hand over the get, and if he will not then he is threatened with expulsion from the synagogue.


A Hindu wedding

Hindu weddings vary according to the customs of the area they live in, but there are many similarities.

!   Sometimes a Hindu marriage is arranged by the parents because it is a joining of two families, not just two people.

!   The horoscopes of the couple are checked before the date is set.

!   The ceremony usually takes place at the bride’s home, but sometimes it can be in a hired hall so that there is enough room for all of the guests.

!   The parents and priest recite blessings before the father hands his daughter to her new husband.

!   The couple join hands as the priest lights a fire on the small altar that has been set up.


!   The groom recites a prayer asking that the marriage will be fruitful and that they will have many children.

!   The husband’s scarf is tied to his wife’s sari to show that they are now united as one couple rather than two separate people.

!   The groom puts his right hand on his bride’s right shoulder and they circle the sacred fire seven times. Seven prayers are said asking for seven blessings on the marriage.

!   The groom and his family make an offering of barley which is a symbol of fertility.


The seven blessings


Hinduism and divorce

!   Hindus believe that marriage should be for life. As the marriage is often arranged and not based on love the expectations are that it will not always be easy but should be worked at. However, if all attempts at compromise fail a Hindu can get a divorce. Divorce is seen as a social failure and so many Hindu couples stay together, even though their marriage is over, in an attempt to save face.

!   One acceptable reason for divorce is if the wife has not produced a son. When a couple separate the wife is often sent back to her family. This is seen as a disgrace and it can be very difficult for her to find a second husband.


Divorce statistics

Marriage and Divorce...A Muslim wedding ceremony A Muslim wedding ceremony is simple and often...

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