ENGAGING HOSTILE AND AGGRESSIVE

PARENTS IN THE CHILD PROTECTION PROCESS

Mark Cary

Mercy Family Services

What motivates parents hostility Parental grief/loss over child’s removal Loss – daily interaction/responsibility Distress confronting/complex child

protection system Underlying mental health, substance

abuse, domestic violence issues

Definition

“Hostile,is being unfriendly or expressing anger or annoyance towards another. Aggression is an act of attacking without provocation or hostile or destructive behaviour” (Aust.Pocket Oxford Dictionary,1993.

“Aggression may be expressed as verbal aggression,physical aggression or both, towards object people or self with intent to harm” (Rickelman 2005)

Grief impact on Parents Behavior

Grief & loss cycle Gives rise to aggression if not

resolved/managed.(Howells & Day2003) Grief retriggered at points along CP

continuim (O’Neil 2005,Littlechild 2002) Initial removal Initial Court and later reviews of order Family contact face/face ,telephone DOC’s meetings where child is focus Family celebrations – Xmas, b/days

Impact of grief

Parental grief publicly unacknowledged Fear expression due to public

condemnation as “bad parent” Unexpressed grief/unacknowledged

over separation from children can give rise to hostility (Stanley& Goddard 2002)

Impact of grief Cognitively and emotionally preoccupied

distress of separation Unable to listen, comprehend what’s

said, notifications, legal process etc Become frustrated, angry, hostile Ability to address parenting issues

impaired Feel inadequate and leads to further

anger and hostility.

Tips to manage parent grief Acknowledge & validate parental grief in

dialogue & interaction with parents Let it inform case plans Workers limited in support & time Direct parents to professionals for help

to work through grief & manage feelings as they progress through CP system

Tips to manage parent grief Inform parents repeatedly and through

different mediums what is going on Check to ensure they understand

information fully and correctly

Impact of CP system on parents

Grief & loss heightened by fear of removal/continued separation

Powerlessness in relation to worker authority to remove translates to aggression towards workers

Relationship issue

“The power of the CPS worker to move children into foster care taps into a parents fear and sense of powerlessness- feelings that may be expressed as open hostility or passive resistance.” (Palmer 2006)

Must be addressed to form working relationship

Where it can go wrong

Information provision Communication & inclusion in decision

making Working in partnership Power & control

Information provision CP concern insufficient/unclear

information to parents Parents misinterpret, confused, fearful –

frustrated, angry Ambiguity about role of workers/ change

of workers causes confusion Misconceive as primarily for help, but

reality balanced with investigative, assessment or reporting roles

Parents feel misled/distrustful if workers not honest with them

“They came & I told them everything. They said they were going to do this & this for me. Nothing ever happened, I got to court & they had turned around everything I’d said to them”

(Parent in My Family First workshop)

To establish open honest relationship & avoid distrust Explain clearly role, limits and the

purpose of your intervention. Ensure they have info they need &

check their understanding Explain what has happened, why & what

the casework/legal processes will be Provide records/info variety mediums

Communication and Inclusion Fear/anxiety over safety of children in

out of home care. Fear they may be replaced by carers Limited or no mechanisms for getting

info on well-being of children – practice vs policy

Anger, hostility about care of children

Practice tips

Safe parent/child contact ASAP Constructive parent/carer relationship

promoted where safe Provide regular info on child progress Promote alternative forms of contact

if direct contact unsafe• Educate about roles, training, standards

and monitoring of carers

Parents experience of CP system• Confused by statutory/legal process• Intimidated in meetings• Distressed at short notice of meetings• No time to prepare or compose• Uninformed about purpose of meetings• No support person present/encouraged• Not invited to place own matters on agenda (FIN 2007, Dale 2004)

Practice tips• Hold meetings at mutually convenient

times• Inform as to purpose prior to meeting• Provide relevant info beforehand• Encourage parents items on agenda• Encourage support person• Facilitate parents to voice opinion

Practice tips

Listen actively to understand parents situation & point of view

Every day language. Check their understanding

Provide documentation on what was said and agreed outcomes

Practice Tips

NGO/SP assist parents before meeting with what they want to say and do at meeting

Training in basic assertive communication skills so can represent themselves positively.

Identify limits to availability to respond to parents enquiries.

Further systems challenges Following removal of children parents

need accurate info as to safety concerns/reasons for removal

Current practice often full concerns withheld.

Tasks needed to achieve reunification vague or shifting

Confused angry as goal posts shift

Practice tips

Parents need clear precise reasons for removal

Prioritised goals to achieve for reunification

Include behavioural indicators of progress

In partnership with Parents

Workers style can impact positively or negatively on parents willingness to engage

Workers can avoid evoking anger and promote engagement by

Not “wearing authority like a crown” Not being excessive or arrogant Leaving parents feeling negatively

judged Pursuing unproductive questioning that

had the potential to push parents over the edge

Leaving parents with no alternatives or ways forward (Dale 2004)

Qualities that evoke engagement Open Respectful Honest Clear about purpose of intervention(Littlechild2004)

Additional Qualities

• Good at listening • Understanding • Resourceful • Respectful• Humorous• Matter of fact

(FIN 2007;Dale 2004)

Quote

“We’ve been very lucky –he’s great. He’s been very helpful, his mannerism, we’ve even looked forward to him coming. He’s not treated us like criminals – not like we were treated at first. He’s obviously taken everything in – seen the big picture” (Dale 2004)

Power and Control The impact of a workers use of power

influences whether parents respond in a negative/hostile way or work collaboratively (Dumbrill 2006)

View power used over them in a coercive way - control

Power being used with them to do things in their child’s interests was viewed as support

Practice tip

To help parents see workers as allies working in their child’s interests provide practical assistance e.g.link to Centrelink, suitable housing, food

Provide words of encouragement

These are what they value & remember

Monitor own responses to anger

Avoid power & control dynamics by becoming defensive or going on the offensive & becoming authoritarian.

“ engaging in a power struggle by subtly or overtly trying to establish authority over the angry client can result in an escalation of aggression”

(Texas Dept of Mental Health and Mental retardation 1999)

Skills to reduce anger/hostility

Calm body language Non-threatening voice tone Reflect on parents feelings/behaviors Calming validation of expressed feelings

while providing guidelines, choices & alternatives (Horejsi & Garthwait 1998; Crofoot 2006)

Psychiatric,drug,alcohol or aggressive social behaviours

Sometimes parents with mental health, alcohol/drug issues, controlling, anti-authority attitudes or previous patterns of violence are not prepared to engage cooperatively whatever the skills/ attempts of the worker

(Littlechild,2003,2005)

Psychiatric,drug,alcohol or aggressive social behaviours

For some parents with a history of DV maintaining power and control of their family is threatened by workers authority

Will direct aggression and violence against workers to prevent intervention (Stanley & Goddard 2005)

Practice Tips

Obtain professional assessment of identified mental health, drug or alcohol issues

Identify stress triggers for hostility Gain advice – how to communicate &

interact to develop trust & working realtionship

Self management strategies Talk respectfully Assess own feelings and monitor own

reaction Avoid engaging in a power struggle Avoid defensiveness or going on

offensive If parent aggressive secure safety in line

with service policy

Self management strategies Ignore anger if not reached aggressive/threatening

levels Remain concerned. Focus on their feelings.

Respond to what may be behind their anger. Avoid overly insisting they confront upsetting

material, hurtful comments Remain calm if refuse to cooperate Acknowledge their concerns seek reasons refusal Offer choices, acceptable alternatives. Invite to

problem solve with you

Protection of workers in face of parental aggression Essential for workers to report parental

aggression Seek help and use agency resources to

minimize risk to themselves Access counseling for associated stress

& trauma Ensure good agency policy re worker

support post aggressive incidents

Mark CaryToowoomba, QLDPh 07 46177600www.mercyfamilyservices.org.au