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2010年十一月的朝邦對話新訊息中，大家瞭解敞開心智、心房與意志力的U過程。

三月份的焦點人物是珊曼莎.陳和她個人的故事，瞭解她如何敞開心智、心房與意志力而引導出正面的社會變革。她說“當你成為創生過程的一部分，你是在本質的層次溝通和互動。這是非常具有轉變性的；因為當你和他人互動時你可能被對方改變。所以當我們談到『對話的藝術啟動正向的改變 共創永續的社群』時，我覺得平衡陰陽能量是很重要的。我們要心智與心房並用同時將更大的系統以及不同的觀點連結在一起。我覺得最大的效力點在於平衡陰陽發展個人內在世界。”

Samantha是一位教師、主持人、演講者，她積極引導充滿勇氣、對職場與人生帶來重要變革的對話。她並針對跨世代與跨文化對話設計、引導當地、全國性與國際性的活動。她也是世界咖啡館(World Café )的全球掌舵者，並撰寫《世界咖啡館：透過重要對話打造未來(The World Cafe: Shaping the Future

Through Conversations That Matter)》一書中的章節(Berrett-

Koehler出版社於2005年出版) ，在書中談及如何在新加坡創造具有學習性的文化。

這次訪談焦點是對話的藝術，引導正向的社會變革，營造出永續的社群。引導正向的社會變革，需要從坦然面對自己想法做起。

Samantha 的學習旅程

「以前的我非常的世俗，忙著成為一個以直接的方式達到清楚願景的那種『領導者』。當時的我很在意做第一名，擁有很多客戶、受邀到世界各地演講、做為一個專家，就算是『成功』了。那時的我受到陽性能量的驅動(直接、理性、專注、行動導向、擴展性強)。」Samantha表示。但是四年前，卻覺得自己因為過度強調陽性的一面，感到無比疲累。陽剛不是負面也不是壞事，而是好像只是踩著一隻腳在走 – 只踩著陽性的那一隻腳，無法達到最理想的成效。現在應該培養陰性的那隻腳，很快就能雙腳一起走路、跑步、舞蹈！她也發現追求這種「領導力」的願景相當類似尋找一頭「綠色的河馬」，非常努力「創造」符合我個人理想的東西，就好像是想把一頭藍色的河馬變

成綠的、或將綠色的犀牛變成河馬，需要很大的努力！她的內心開始引導她來探索她的陰性能量 - 可以接受他人、空出心房迎接他人(直覺性、接收性、不斷改變、包容、共享、交付等特質)。

因此，過去四年來，她從陽剛轉換成陰柔，從下指令促成改變，變成營造促成改變的狀態，從追求機會轉化為營造空間，讓機會浮現於她的生命。對她而言，這股變化的重點，就是讓自己的心引領她向前走。

一個變革的理論

她覺得很有趣的是，在他人身上很容易看見美的一面、好的一面，對自己卻常常只看見負面的那一面。每當心情不好時，她總會找出其中的導因，通常是內心那股批判的聲音對她說：「你做的不夠好」之類的話。拜倫‧凱蒂(Byron Katie)的著作《轉念作業The Work》在轉換這些思想模式方面給她很大的助力。轉念作業針對個人的想法提出四個問題：

這是真的嗎？如果是相反的，也是如此嗎？如果一直持有這個想法，我會有什麼樣的反應呢？如果沒有這樣的想法，我會是什麼樣的人？ - 可上網詳讀有關轉念作業的其他內容www.thework.com/index.php

引導正面的社會性變革，就從誠實面對自己想法開始。

這四個問題總能引發省思。就如詩人里爾克(Rainer Maria Rilke)

所說，『耐心看待內心仍未有答案的一切，就如鎖起的房間一樣愛護這些疑問。不要強求無法得到的答案，因為你無法活在這些答案中。活在當下的一切，活在這些問題下。或許這樣才能慢慢忘記它的存在，有一天在生命中答案即會浮現。』因此她請自己容易批判的心智放輕鬆，聽到這些疑點，但

是需要將這些問題先靜待兩旁，讓自己能夠聽到內心，由內心引導自己向前。在這情況下，她就會感覺到空間的開放– 就如同釋出更多能量的寬頻，讓其它的智慧，像是直覺與創意等陰性的智慧開始自我表達。這也就從內在、從和其他人的互動中產生出完全不同的存在感。

2011年三月

珊曼莎.陳 談 陰陽平衡 開發內在

朝 邦 文 教 基 金 會

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「跟隨內心的意念是很重要的。我們的夢想就在心中。夢想是你真正在乎的東西、啟發你、給你最自然的動力的東西。我的夢想裡是對自己有滿滿的愛的人。」Samantha說。愛自己並不是對自己擁有多麼雄偉的想法，而是排除外在因素，體驗出自己的價值感。大多數的人的想法就是「我很有價值，因為我凡事都很完

美」或「我很有價值，因為我很成功」、「我很有價值，因為很多人想要見我，我這樣的忙碌」。卓越、成功都沒有錯，但是如果將個人的價值附著於這些外在的衡量標準，即使想要對世界有所貢獻，不但會讓自己更累、甚至毀滅自己，也可能傷及周遭的人。如果不愛自己，人們永遠會覬覦於別人的資源。就如鐵質、鈣質和鋅，愛自己也是一種身體健康需要的養分–

我們必須鍛鍊愛自己的心，就像鍛鍊其他肌肉一樣。

以下是愛自己的技巧：

用一些小小的做法練習敞開心房。如果要從1到10來打分數，並不需要一下子就達到10。只要感受一下敞開內心的感覺。對Samantha來說，就是和狗狗玩，每星期在小池塘邊散步，一邊和五隻小狗玩，感覺很棒。

另外一個練習就是用表格列出你所做的事當中，是以愛為啟發所做，和以恐懼為啟發所做的，然後一項一項慢慢將恐懼為啟發的事項轉變成以愛為啟發。這種轉向的練習很有力量。假設說每星期去看母親，如果是因為不想要看起來不孝順，那每星期去看母親就變得很討厭，但是如果想出一些以愛為出發點的動力，或許可以一起煮頓飯，那麼拜訪母親就不會那麼難受。更有挑戰性的練習，就是如果某人傷害或煩你，試圖以對方的立場想，瞭解為什麼對方這麼做。負面的行為通常是因為害怕，如果我們看出這一點，就能以更有同理心的態度面對對方，也讓我們的心更有力量！

就如德蕾莎修女所說：「我們做不了偉大的事，只能以偉大的愛做細微的事。」

Samantha將她的變革理論整理成以下的重點： 探詢並反思自己的想法，看見這些想法真正的面向。請那充滿懷疑、批評和思考的心智放鬆下來，暫且在旁靜

下，釋放出一些空間，讓其他的智能得以發展，像是開放的心的陰性能量。從內心出發，讓自己的「夢想」引導你向前。

做一些練習，讓心智能夠鎮定，也打開內心，讓心更能成長。

過去四年來，從陽性轉換到陰性的過程對Samantha而言並不容易。她必須不斷告訴自己的心智，請接受她不會再回到過

去以陽剛模式驅動的做法~ 太累，又太有破壞性了。在陰性面向的她，對一些不同的方案感到受吸引，有些她還願意付錢去做！對陰性的一面持有開放態度，就表示要接受自己有些東西是不知道的，必須接受不確定的面向，不要一直想要控制、想出答案、訂定計畫、判斷是非…或是任何會讓空間關起來的意念。跟隨內心的意念讓人們更能欣賞生命的神秘感，也讓自己更有探索與實驗的空間。或許無法知道從陽性轉向陰性會走到哪裡，但是Samantha很喜歡當下的感覺，當下的存在感是一種充滿能量的關係與體驗。

對話可以改變世界

領導力對Samantha來說是一種共創的創意過程；集體且充滿生產力的過程。過去她總認為領導力就是當第一名，因此就會從最直接的途徑走向各人的目標，也覺得扮演「支持者」角色沒有價值。選擇陰性做法時，讓人們以全新的角度看待「支持」的角色。重點不再是「我如何能領先」，而成為「我該如何參與，和大家一起創造出可以帶來全新真相的狀態？」

大衛‧波姆(David Bohm)曾經說「樹木並非從種籽長大，種籽反而是一個孔洞，讓樹木在組織出成長過程中，從這裡變成樹木的孔洞。這個孔洞的本質，就在於任務形成的精神中。」

波姆是對話藝術的先驅。他形容對話有如人類體驗的一場探索：探索我們的價值觀、情緒、思考過程、回憶、文化，而這些都是透過社會集體而創造與延續。對話對於人們內在與彼此之間提出問題，藉而探索彼此的關係以及人們與世界的關係。當我們放開內心的成見，然後聆聽和他人互動的其他可能性時，就會產生內在的轉變。當人們開始從彼此關係的層面上思考時，彼此的轉變就會出現。在這情況下的對話，就會強化人與人之間的聯繫感。這種聯繫感是一種共同分享的真實意義，共同瞭解如Terence Afar所觀察的「我是一個人，所以人的一切對我都不是異類」，這也是我所見Samantha所擁有的特質。

「我覺得這裡就像是接近U理論裡面的U底部」Samantha

說。當人們處於生成的過程中，就會從存在的層面上溝通與互動。這也是為什麼會如此具有轉變力，因為在互動的過程中，自己會願意讓他們改變。

說到對話的藝術，要引導正向的社會變革，營造出可續性的社群，就必須陰陽調和。結合內心與心智，欣賞更遼闊的系統的一致性，以及大家不同的觀點。對Samantha來說，平衡陰與陽，用來開發內在，就是最好的制高點。

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In the November 2010 CPYF Dialogue Newsletter, we learned about the the inner dimension of dialogue through the U process of opening your Mind, Heart and Will. In that same spirit of the personal dialogic experience, this March edition features Samantha Tan and her experience of approaching the bottom of the U:

“When you are part of a generative process, you are communicating and relating on the level of being. That’s why it is so transformational; because as you interact with others you allow yourself to be changed by them. That’s why when it comes to the art of dialogue, facilitating positive social change and forging sustainable communities, I feel it’s important to balance the energies of Yin （陰）and Yang（陽）to use

both our hearts and minds together to the underlying coherence of the larger system and our different views in it. Developing our inner realm, by balancing the Yin and the Yang, in my opinion is the highest leverage point.”

Samantha is intriguing. A woman of many accomplishments: she is a teacher, host and speaker committed to facilitating courageous conversations that make a profound difference in work and life. She designs and facilitates local, national and international gatherings, with a focus on intergenerational and intercultural dialogue. Her clients have included Buddhist monks and nuns of the Dharma Drum Monastery in Taiwan and New York, line employees and executives of the Nokia Corporation in Singapore and Beijing, and US Girl Scouts ages 12 to 70. She is a Global Steward of the World Café and a chapter contributor to The World Cafe: Shaping the Future Through Conversations That Matter; and if you participated in the Taiwan Society for Organizational Learning 2007 World Cafe event in Taipei you may have met her as a member of the Host Team. Reflections on the event can be read online: www.theworldcafe.com/articles/TaiwanSoL-World%20Cafe.pdf

Yet before knowing all this about Samantha, it was firstly her warm heart-felt presence that struck me. Samantha conveys a capacity to hear, feel and be moved by the human experience as expressed in the tears welling in her eyes as she listens to you. In return I began to listen to her story of finding presence:

Samantha’s learning journey

“I used to be very in the world. I was very busy striving to be the kind of ‘leader’ who drives at achieving an explicit personal vision. I cared about being #1 and from that I ‘succeeded’ in having many clients and being invited around the world as a guest speaker and specialist. During these years I was driven by the Yang （陽）energy: directive, logical, focused, action oriented, and expansive. But four years ago I found myself exhausted and worn out by this over emphasis on the Yang. Yang is neither negative nor bad; only that I’d been hopping around on one leg - the Yang leg, not so effective! Now is time to develop

strength in the Yin leg and soon I’ll be walking, running, dancing with both legs together!

I realized that pursuing this vision of ‘leadership’ was like I was looking for a ‘green hippopotamus’. I was working very hard to make things fit my personal vision: like trying to make a blue hippopotamus into a green one, or make a green rhino into a hippo! That just takes a lot of effort; and my heart began guiding me to explore my Yin（陰）energy: intuitive, receptive, changing, embracing,

communion, surrender - the ability to receive and have space for others.

Over the past four years I have been transitioning from Yang to Yin: shifting from chasing opportunities to creating space for their emergence in my life. For me, this change is about allowing my heart to lead me.

A Theory of Change

It’s funny, I can see what’s beautiful and good in other people, but in myself I often only see the negative. Whenever I feel low, I look for the cause and find it’s usually my mind’s critical voice telling me “you’re not good enough!” Byron Katie’s “The Work” has been a great help to me in shifting these patterns of thought. The Work involves asking 4 questions to one’s thoughts:

1) Is it true?2) Would the opposite be true as well?3) How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?4) Who would I be without the thought? - Read more: www.thework.com/index.php

These four questions enable reflection.

Poet Rainer Maria Rilke speaks to this wisdom in her words: “be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart, try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms. Do not seek the answers that cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. Live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it live along some distant day into the answer.”

Facilitating positive social change starts with looking honestly at one’s thoughts. When I did so I asked my critical mind to relax, I hear their concerns, and I need them to step aside so I can be guided by my heart.

March 2011

Balancing Yin and Yang:Featuring Samantha Tan

CP Yen Foundation Dialogue Newsletter

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When that happens I can feel a space open up - like freeing up my energetic bandwidth for other intelligences to express themselves, such as my intuitive and creative Yin intelligences. This generates an entirely different sensation of being both within myself and with others.

Being heart-led is very important. We hold our dreams in our hearts. A dream is what you really care about, what inspires you and gives you natural motivation.

My dream is of wholesome people filled with self-love. "Self love" is not thinking grandiose thoughts about oneself. Rather it is about experiencing oneself as valuable independently of external conditions. Many of us think "I am valuable because I do things perfectly" or "I am valuable because I am successful" "I am valuable because so many people want to see me and I'm so busy.” There is nothing wrong with excellence, but if we tie our self-worth to these measures we can exhaust or destroy ourselves and those around us - even if we are trying to do good in the world. Without self-love we’ll always be hungry for other people’s resources. Self-love is a nutrient our body needs to be healthy - and we must exercise our loving heart just like any other muscle.

Here’s a technique for that:

1) Practice opening your heart in little ways. On a scale of 1-10 you don’t have to immediately jump to level 10. Just feel what it’s like to open your heart. For me that means playing with dogs. One simple thing I do is to walk around a pond each week and play with 5 dogs along the way. It feels wonderful.

2) Another exercise is to make a two column list of all the things you do which are either motivated by Love or by Fear. One by one try moving the fear-motivated ones to motivations of love. Likewise Mother Theresa said: “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”

In summary, my theory of change is:

1. Inquire & reflect upon your thoughts. See them for what they are.

2. Invite the critical, judging and thinking mind to relax, step aside and liberate some space for other intelligences to be exercised such as the Yin energy of an open heart.

3. From you heart, allow yourself to be guided by your “dream”. 4. Do exercises that help your mind calm down and your heart to

open and develop.

The past four years of transitioning from Yang to Yin energy has not been easy. I had to tell my mind to simply accept that I’m not going back to the old way of Yang-dominated living ~ it was too exhausting and destructive for me. I simply had to accept that. Being open to the Yin means I had to get comfortable with not knowing. I had to learn to accept uncertainty and not to control, figure it out, build a plan, judge right or wrong... or any other tendency that closes the space. Being Heart-led brought me an appreciation for the mysteries of life; so now I allow myself more space to explore and experiment. I don’t know where experimenting with shifting my focus from Yang to Yin is taking me, but I am enjoying the present moment. The present of presence for me is generating relationships and experiences.

Dialogue can change the world

Leadership for me is a co-creative process: collective and generative. I used to believe leadership is about being #1, carving the most direct path to my vision, so I devalued playing a ‘supporting’ role. The Yin energy however has opened up a new appreciation of ‘support.’ The question is no longer ‘how can I get ahead?’ but ‘how can I be an enabling part of co-creating the conditions that generate new realities?’” Enabling the process reflects David Bohm’s original reflections on emergence: “the tree does not grow from the seed. The seed rather is the aperture through which the tree gradually emerges by organizing the processes of growth which eventually bring forth the tree. The nature of the aperture rests in the spirit that shapes the undertaking.”

Bohm was a leading thinker on the art of dialogue. He described dialogue as an exploration of the human experience: our values, emotions, thought processes, memory and culture all of which are created and sustained in the social collective.

Generated by relationships, dialogue probes the frontiers of our relationship to each other and our world by way of the living experience of inquiry within and between people. Within transformation happens when we relax attachment to the certainties of our judging mind and listen instead to the possibilities that come from being in relationship with others. When people begin to think together from the basis of their relationship, “between” transformation happens in relationships deepening the glue that links people together. This glue represents a genuine shared meaning and common understanding that “I am a human being; therefore nothing human is alien to me”, as observed Terence Afar, and which I see embodied in Samantha and in you.