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Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15 SUPREME COURT OF NEVADA DISTANCE EDUCATION MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY Course Materials Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar) Faculty: Ms. Elizabeth Bullard

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Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15

SUPREME COURT OF NEVADA

DISTANCE EDUCATION

MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY

Course Materials

Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar)

Faculty:

Ms. Elizabeth Bullard

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MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar) Faculty: Ms. Elizabeth Bullard

Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15

FACULTY BIOGRAPHY

Elizabeth “Liz” Bullard Colorado State Court Administrator’s Office 1300 Broadway, Suite 1200 Denver, CO 80203 Telephone: (720) 625-5915 [email protected] Ms. Liz is Bullard is the Staff Development Administrator for the Colorado Judicial Branch’s Administrative Office of the Courts in the Human Resources Division. With her 20 years of experience with Judicial, she is focused on leadership development and coaching for judicial branch employees. Ms. Bullard was instrumental in the development of the Judicial Executive Development Institute (JEDI) to support succession planning and the Executive Leadership Program for senior executives. She holds a B.S. in Business Management from New Mexico State University and an M.S. in Systems Management from the University of Southern California.

Ms. Bullard has extensive experience developing and facilitating leadership development programs, retreats and coaching sessions using the Myers Briggs Type Instrument (MBTI©), Emotional Quotient Inventory 2.0 (EQ-i 2.0), the Team Emotional & Social Intelligent Survey (TESIR), Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior Assessment (FIROBTM), Communication Preference QuestionnaireTM, the Influencer, the Change Style Indicator and several 360 assessments. She is a graduate of the NYU’s Power & Politics, the Harvard Kennedy School’s The Art and Practice of Leadership Development program, Center for Creative Leadership Coaching program and educated as a Co-Active Coach by the Coaches Training Institute.

Ms. Bullard participates on various state and national committees including serving as past President for the National Association of State Judicial Educators. In addition, she has provided consultation and facilitation services to various organizations to include the Indiana Court Employees Conference, the Bulgarian Supreme Court Reform project, the National Judicial College in Reno and the National Association of State Judicial Educator Conferences. Liz has a passion for coaching those in leadership positions and those interested in moving into leadership within the courts.

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MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar) Faculty: Ms. Elizabeth Bullard

Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15

PARTICIPANT HANDOUT

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Presented By: Liz Bullard

Colorado Judicial Department/HR

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Managing Tough Conversations

Sponsored by:

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• Briefly describe a difficult conversation you would like to have…

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Opportunities and Goals

• Building confidence in your skills to address employee behavior.

• Emotions, Stories, Assumptions OH MY!

• Preparing and Delivering Feedback

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• EMOTIONS + STORIES

Key Ingredients in Conflict

John didn’t show up for the committee meeting

AGAIN today!

Why did he broadcast an email disagreeing with

our approach? If he bothered to show up he would understand our

direction. JERK!

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• Emotions Overwhelm your thinking and actions • Unable to read others’ emotions • Can’t find right words • Unable to focus thinking or actions • Physiological response: heart races, blood pressure increases, sweating, gut hurts, clenched jaw…etc

Emotions: Amygdala Hijack Video Excerpt: Authors@Google: Daniel Goleman, Amygdala Hijack

What is an Amygdala Hijack

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Stories: Ladder of Inference Video: Rethinking Thinking by Trevor Maber

___________________________ ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Running Up Your Ladder

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Stories: Ladder of Inference Part II Short Circuiting the Ladder

Video: Rethinking Thinking by Trevor Maber

___________________________ ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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10 JD Supervisors

July 2015

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Running Up Your NEW Ladder

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What does it take to look at situations differently?

1. Know your tendencies-recognize the signs of amygdala hijack

2. Stop/Pause/Slow Down

3. Separate emotion from data or the “what” from the “who”

4. Suspend judgment

5. Identify what you know…Facts, Observable Data

6. Get feedback (repeat steps 1-5 if needed!)

7. Listen

8. Critical reflection

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Tensions between Two Core Human Needs Adapted from HBR Find the Coaching in Criticism; Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone

Why is Feedback So Hard?

Learn & Grow

Accepted Just the

Way I am

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Feelings that Push our Buttons Adapted from HBR Find the Coaching in Criticism; Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone

• Truth Triggers

• Relationship Triggers

• Identity Triggers

Why is Feedback So Hard?

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1. Know your tendencies

2. Disentangle the “what” from the “who”

3. Lean towards coaching intent instead of evaluative intent

4. Unpack the feedback; set aside judgement

5. Ask for Feedback; Just one thing…

6. Experiment

What does it take to look at situations differently?

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• Situation

• Behavior

• Impact

Planning Your Difficult Conversation

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S.B.I. : Situation – Behavior – Impact Created by the Center for Creative Leadership

SITUATION Anchors feedback in time, place, and circumstances and helps receiver remember and/or understand the context.

BEHAVIOR Observable actions that can be recorded (audio or video) and allows feedback receiver to know exactly what he or she did that had impact

IMPACT Feelings and thoughts the feedback giver had, and how the feedback giver or others behaved as a result of the feedback receiver’s behavior. (“I” statements)

“Pat, during our conference call yesterday afternoon”

“I noticed that you interrupted others and me on several occasions”

“I felt frustrated at times [impact on me], and I sensed that others were irritated by it as well [impact on others].”

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S.B.I. : Situation – Behavior – Impact Created by the Center for Creative Leadership

SITUATION BEHAVIOR IMPACT

”Last [date/day/time] during our [point of interaction, specific situation] , when you did/said [behavior], I felt [impact].”

Suggested follow on statements: • “What do you think we can do to avoid a similar situation in the future?” • ”What are your thoughts on this?” –or- • “I would love to feel more comfortable sharing what is on my mind with you moving forward, what do you suggest

would facilitate this?”

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S.B.I. : Situation – Behavior – Impact Created by the Center for Creative Leadership

SITUATION BEHAVIOR IMPACT

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Practice with Your Difficult Conversations

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Final Notes

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Sources Daniel Goleman: "Social Intelligence" | Talks at Google, Nov 2007, Youtube

Trevor Maber: Rethinking Thinking , TED-ED, Oct. 2012, Youtube

SBI, Center for Creative Leadership, www.ccl.org

Sheila Heen & Douglas Stone, Find The Coaching In Criticism, Jan/Feb 2014 issue of HBR.org

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