Managing Life's Transitions

Managing Life’s Transitions

Copyright 2012, Wellesley College Center for Work and Service

“It isn’t the changes that do you in, it’s the transitions. Change is not the same as transition. Change is situational; the new boss, the new role, the new policy. Transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation.”

- William Bridges, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, 1993

Transition Theory


Three Steps to Bridge’s Theory1. Need to start with the Ending

2. Move into the Neutral Zone

3. Finish with the New Beginning


Ending• Time of loss, letting go, leaving behind.

• Most people want to start with the outcome, the new beginning, but you have to start with the ending you will have to make to be able to leave the old situation behind. You can’t move forward if you are still tied to what was.

• Situational change hinges on the new thing, but psychological transition depends on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.

• As with any ending, there is a loss, and you may find yourself going through the five stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, despair, and acceptance. You may take steps forward and then have to revisit loss(es).


Ending Strategies

• Allow over-reaction

• Acknowledge loss openly, define what is over and what is not

• Keep a piece of the past with you

• Start to explore loss: What will I miss, what am I glad to leave behind, what am I most proud of that I will take with me, what will I do differently next time, etc.?


Neutral Zone• Time of anxiety, uncertainty, confusion, chaos, clean slate. This phase is the no man’s land between the old reality and the new, the limbo between the old sense of identity and the new, the time when the old way is gone and the new way is not yet comfortable.

• There needs to be a healing process, a way to work though the grief of the loss, and allow yourself to open up to the excitement of “What am I going to do now?”

• Familiar anchors (role, status, self-definition) are re-arranged, re-established.

• You may go in and out of this stage, but the bottom line is that the human psyche cannot stay in a crisis state for a prolonged period of time; there will be movement, either forward or backward.


• Redefine the situation

• Create temporary systems, make lists of small steps to complete

• Strengthen connections/support network

• Be creative/consider new possibilities

• Take time outs

• Get it out; journal or therapy

Neutral Zone Strategies


New Beginning• Time of renewal, integration, new identity, new direction

• Comes after you make an ending and spend time in the neutral zone, although often people try to start here rather than finishing here

• Time of increased clarity, more focused goals

• Uncertainty will continue until new self-definition is clarified and processed consciously


New Beginning Strategies

• Foresee what you can

• (Re-)Clarify your mission

• Unload old baggage

• Rebuild trust

• Acknowledge small “wins”

• Create new reward structure


General Coping Strategies• Set goals, prioritize tasks, make an action plan, take it step by step, keep learning as you go along

• Seek support - you don’t have to “tough it out” or go it alone

• Face your fear - evaluate your situation, and choose to get on with your life

• Make a list of your new opportunities or things you’re glad to be leaving behind

• Limit changes - you don’t have to change everything overnight or give everything up, stick to some familiar rituals, keep a piece of the past with you

• Take care of yourself - relax, get away for a while, mind your body (eat, sleep, exercise, pamper)

• Laugh, take time to find the humor in your situation


Final Thoughts

• Transition is an individual process; a single event will affect different people in different ways, or the same event can affect the same person in a different way under different timing/circumstances.

• New beginnings start with endings. It will be hard to move forward until you can let go of what holds you to the past.


Next Steps

• Download the Transitions Worksheet to help you move through your own situation.

Key points to focus on:

• Identify what will end, what will you have to let go of

• Identify any obstacles you can foresee and the resources to overcome them

• Actually write down three concrete action steps


http://www.wellesley.edu/cws/ManagingLifesTransitions2008/Transitionsworksheet.doc

http://www.wellesley.edu/cws/ManagingLifesTransitions2008/Transitionsworksheet.doc

Additional Resources• William Bridges’ Web site: http://www.wmbridges.com/index.html

• Other transitions theorists include Gene Cohen on making transitions in later life, and Nancy Schlossberg on adult transitions, adult development, career development, and intergenerational relationships. (For a quick look at Nancy’s theory, see: http://www.cheyennewinkler.com/overview/classes/NancyKSchlossberg.pdf)

• Center for Work and Service: http://www.wellesley.edu/cws


http://www.wmbridges.com/index.html

http://www.cheyennewinkler.com/overview/classes/NancyKSchlossberg.pdf

http://www.cheyennewinkler.com/overview/classes/NancyKSchlossberg.pdf

http://www.wellesley.edu/cws

http://www.wellesley.edu/cws

Managing Life's Transitions

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Transcript of Managing Life's Transitions