Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships Prepared For Montana State University January...
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Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships
Prepared ForMontana State University
January 2012
Suzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.
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What happens when conflicts are not managed well?
To the work group
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To the individual
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Causes of Conflict
Emotions
StyleInformation
Relationships
Substance
Values
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Information Conflicts
• About data• Misinformation• Having different information• Which data to use • Not having enough information• Withholding information
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Emotion conflicts • About feelings, ego, self-esteem,
feelings of entitlement• Arise when other conflicts get too ripe• Lead to exceptionally narrow thinking• Emotions short-circuit the ability to
reason and to listen
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Value
conflicts
• About deeply rooted beliefs and feelings
• Religion, politics, work ethics• In some ways, easiest to manage in
work context
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• About who we are to each other• Boss/subordinate, working relationships• Who has what authority?• Are we friends?• Can co-workers, students/professors have
deep relationships?• Do we have the same goals about our
relationship?
Relationship conflicts
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Substance conflicts
• About real or perceived scarce resources• Money, time, space, equipment ….• Amenable to regular problem solving once
the issue is isolated
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• About how to do things, how to communicate, which way to act is best
• Common with strong personalities• Frequent cause of annoyances• Causes conflict when style difference is seen as
obstruction
Style
conflicts
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Quick Chat
What about other people’s communication really irritates you?
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When styles clash, conflict often results.
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Common Style Differences• Meeting management style• Single-taskers vs. multi-taskers• Verbal conversational style
DialectRapport vs. ReportPause Gap
• Personality style• Conflict style
Escalators/FractionatorsGeneral Conflict Style
• Cultural style
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Collaborators
Competitors
Avoiders
What’s Your Conflict Style?
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What are the Problems with Relying on One Style?
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What is the First Response to Types of Conflict?
• Information• Emotion• Substantive• Values• Relationship• Style
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Check Perception Differences
Perceptionis not
objective
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What do you see?
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In Stress or Conflict…..• People revert to their basic style.• Make Self-Serving evaluations.
“I am thoughtful; you take all day
and can’t make a decision.”
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Recognizing Perception Differences is a Skill
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Perception Differences Cause Misunderstandings: Make Negotiation Harder
Moral =
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Quick Quiz: What’s Your Decision-Making Preference?
Long Term Short Term
Fact Gut
By the Book Just Do It
Slow Fast
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What’s Your Work Preference? Social Task-Oriented
Agenda Free-form
Agreeable Argumentative
Critical Creative
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Mark Your Style of Expression
Loud Soft-spoken
Passionate Controlled
Confront Indirect
Say What You Think Concern for
Other’s Feelings
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Go back and mark the style of your boss (or a co-worker).
Are there style differences?
If unrecognized, do these differences make negotiation harder?
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Quick Chat1. Do you have a significant style difference
with a boss or co-worker?2. What can you do (mentally or in discussion
with the other) to prevent the style difference from hindering work happiness, productivity, or making negotiations more difficult?
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Smart Negotiation #2: Always Work From Interests
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Positions and demands are on the Surface
Interests or needs lurk under the waterline
Working at the “position” level is inefficient and may
harm relationships.
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Conflict itself is normal.It is what we choose to do during conflict that leads to beneficial or
harmful results.
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Apply McCorle’s Three Laws of Humane Responses to People Problems
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The First Law: Save Yourself
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The Second Law
Give the Other Person Every Chance
Photo by MichaelMarcol
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The Third Law Care About the Future More than The Past
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For Further General Reading
Personal Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (textbook)
Edition: 1stAuthors: McCorkle, Suzanne; Reese, Melanie J.ISBN10: 0205499880ISBN13: 9780205499885Format: PaperbackPub. Date: 1/1/2010Publisher: Allyn & Bacon
Available at your personal favorite on-line book purchasing site.